It's the end of the year as we know it and I feel fine

Well kids, it's that time of the year again. A time when we all make a list of all the things we are or aren't going to do this year. As much as I like lists, I never make resolution lists. It always seems like a waste. Am I going to go to the gym everyday because I resolved to do so? No, I've been resolving to do so for years and it never seems to stick.

Instead of resolutions, I like to plan to do a few things/goals/activities (or just one) that I'd like to try or try to do more often this year. I don't really consider these resolutions since it's not a huge deal if I don't do them and frankly, none of them make me feel bad about myself (which resolutions typically do). I've always felt that resolutions were invented so that we'd all feel guilty about something all the time and then hate ourselves a bit more because we didn't meet the expectation of the resolution. Why do that to yourself? I'm certainly not going to and hopefully, the things I decide on this year will be fun and exciting. Anything we try to do should empower us and that's the point of what I do every year.

Last year, my list included seeing more live music (I sort of did this but only once I moved back to Virginia), writing more (DONE), going bowling more often (I went once but with strangers so I'll consider that a draw), helping Anita Smallin make National Postcard Writing Month happen (we'll just have to try harder this year), and to be the leading lady of my own life.

It's the last one that I'd like to focus on today. Here is what I wrote last year:

Be more like Kate Winslet’s character in The Holiday. I love this movie and I identify with Kate’s character the most. One of my favorite parts of the movie is when her next-door neighbor (the fantastic Eli Wallach) tells her to be the leading lady of her own life. He recommends all these wonderful classic movies that have leading ladies who are extraordinarily independent and awesome. The women and eventually Kate, have gumption and moxie. That’s what I will strive to do this year. 

This, Island readers, is what I will do this year because I only did a so-so job last year. I've often felt like the sidekick in my own life. If I had to pick the characters I most identify with on my favorite tv show, Gilmore Girls, it would be Lane and Sookie. Lane and Sookie are Lorelei and Rory's sidekicks (when Lorelei and Rory aren't busy being each other's sidekicks). I get it, they're not Gilmores but you know what? They're awesome and they deserve leading lady status as much as those Gilmores. I've always felt like Lane (mostly) - quirky, way into music no one else likes, and an introvert (not shy, just not an engager).

Sidekicks wait. They go on "adventures" with friends, wait for others to make things happen. You know what happens when you wait for others? Nothing - you sit at home watching Hallmark movies and thinking about all the things that you could be doing.

Back in March, I wrote about being labeled "pretty, funny, or smart" by a teacher of mine as it related to the Rush Limbaugh/Sandra Fluke incident about contraceptives. I've been thinking about that particular post again lately because I've had a series of conversations (mostly with other women) that lead me to believe that we still think that you can only be one of these things. I am tired of thinking that being independent and smart and quirky are somehow bad things and relegate us to sidekick status. That the capacity to do things by yourself or alone (not be lonely) is somehow a bad thing. It is not. That because I'm independent and quirky and smart and do things by myself, no guy will ever love me (which someone told me recently - apparently I'm intimidating and quirkiness has been taken over by hipsters so it's not attractive and I should dial down the quirkiness) and that I am only my job because clearly that's all anyone ever is. You know, if you're not a mom (because then I would be mom first, career second - apparently). Are you kidding me? Is this still where we are for women and girls?

It's unfortunate that so much of our lives are spent not liking anything about ourselves. Or we spend so much time trying to be something for other people. Why do we do that to ourselves? I feel like since I entered my 30s I have truly liked who I am, what I look like, and what I do with my life (career, hobbies, etc.). It's fascinating to me that it took me until I hit 30 to really feel that way.  I just want to be happy and enjoy my life and stop trying so hard to be things I'm not. I want to be like the 3rd grader who dresses as a different historical figures that she likes (male or female) because she has fun doing it and is learning something at the same time. Because she is being the leading lady (in a lot of ways) of her own life.

So my plan for 2013: be the leading lady of my own life.

I will leave you with the wise words of the poet/rocker Liz Phair. Because we all are extraordinary.

Video from youtube.com

PS - Thanks for reading in 2012! I hope that you come back in 2013. I promise more lazy movie weekends (we haven't talked about The Warriors or Moonrise Kingdom yet and we need to) and there will be another Bad Shakespeare/Island of Misfit Toys crossover at some point (I may or may not talk about superheroes-you won't want to miss that). And don't forget about Paris in June-it's going to be amazing.

Have a safe and Happy New Year!

Never a party girl

I would like a nice, powerful, mind-altering substance. Preferably one that will make my unborn children grow gills. 

Mary (Parker Posey), Party Girl

He-he-hello!

The movie Party Girl was one of my favorite movies when I was in high school. At that time, my goals in life included living in New York, being a struggling theater artist, and generally being awesome. I wanted to be like Mary in this movie (minus the drugs since I don't do drugs). I envied her shoes, ability to wear tights and not look like she was trying to hard, and the fact that she felt no shame in "closet shopping" at a party ("Hello Chanel"). Also, she ends up wanting to be a librarian. Perfect.

Everyone loves a party girl. I thought that this particular type of personality would make my life better and you know, funner. Everyone wants to be funner. But being a party girl is hard. You have to go out all the time, be "on" all the time, have a high tolerance for nonsense and shenanigans, and drink excessive amounts of alcohol. No shame might also be a good trait.

You know what else party girls have to do? Dress like party girls. I don't and never have had the wardrobe. Like Cher in Clueless, I'd rather veg out in comfy clothes because party clothes are way too binding. And the shoes! As much as I love my heels, I don't know how anyone can wear them all the time. How is it possible that any woman makes it through the night without hobbling foot pain or having someone carry her (which I did witness when I got back to Clarendon and was walking to my car)?

Towards the beginning of the evening...

I am not a party girl. I am the most the most responsible person in the room. And when you're the most responsible person in the room, people get a little surprised in those instances when you do go out and enjoy yourself. It's like when you were a kid and you saw your teacher at the grocery or the mall; it was odd and surreal. You couldn't believe they were a real person and did real person things. Well, the same thing is true with the responsible people - when you stay out late and bar hop or whatever it is that you're going to do, people are amazed.

I've spent the past two Fridays out with friends from work. Some of the group were part of my ill-fated trivia team. My team captain skills have left something to be desired and trivia has fallen by the wayside (sorry friends). Anyway, I guess I normally only hang out with the majority of these friends in the structured confines of the after work happy hour. We work in Clarendon so you can literally throw a rock outside our office building and hit a passable/enjoyable happy hour location. Normally, our evenings end early (it is a school night usually) and no one leaves Virginia until they're ready to go home (for those who live in Maryland and DC).

Required stop at a CVS to act silly

But Fridays tend to be a different story especially when it's the last two Fridays before holiday break. Why wouldn't you go out until 2 am? Or move the celebration from Clarendon to DC? What time does the last Metro run back to Virginia? In my quest to be more of a party girl, I can't say no to any of these ideas. Yes, I want to go into DC for one more round even though it's already 11 pm. Sure, let's walk even further away from the Metro for more fun. And a much better jukebox - why didn't we just start here in the first place?

Inevitably at some point in the evening my responsible self kicks in. I decline another drink, switch to water, and start to plot exit strategies. I check my Metro app to see when the next train is and start herding people towards it. The mother hen in me takes over and I start taking care of people. Erin Counselor (what some of my friends call me) comes out and I have to start making sure we're all making smart life choices. Because that's what Erin Counselor does - she makes sure that people make smart life choices.

And this is why I will never be a real deal party girl. I have come to terms with this and I guess I've accepted it. I'd rather sit in a dive bar and listen to good music all night, joking and talking with my friends than to wear heels and an inappropriately short (for the weather and for life) skirt and have to be on the whole time. The world is made up of all types of people. The Erin Counselors and the party girls coexist to keep the natural social order in place.

Video from youtube.com

It's the most wonderful time of the year?

I'm giving thanks that we don't have to go through this for another year. Except we do, because those bastards went and put Christmas right in the middle, just to punish us. 

Adele (Anne Brancroft), Home for the Holidays 

I want to be very clear - I like Christmas. There are even things that I love about Christmas (more on this in a moment) but I don't LOVE Christmas. I don't start listening to Christmas music in July or have everyone's gift purchased before Halloween. I enjoy decorations but I don't enjoy decorating. I guess Christmas and I just have a complicated relationship. It probably has to do with the magic of Christmas dissipating over time - when I was 6 I believed so much in Christmas and Santa and the magic of the season. Now that I'm in my 30s, I just want to stay home and drink some hot chocolate (or something more adult) and watch Christmas movies. Maybe it's all the noise or as the Grinch would say, "That's one thing I hate! All the noise, noise, noise, noise"

But let's stop discussing my old lady grumpy behavior and let's focus on what's enjoyable about the holidays. My family is quirky and so we have some random holiday traditions that I'm very proud of and I fiercely adhere to and will probably do so all of my life. My family likes to watch holiday movies on Christmas Day (typical rotation: A Christmas Story, How the Grinch Stole Christmas - animated version, Christmas Vacation, Elf, and The Nightmare Before Christmas). My father is a big fan of The Santa Clause movies so we typically watch all of them at least once. Last year we also watched the worst Christmas movie ever: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. We all make bad life choices some days and that might have been our collective bad choice last holiday season. It was bad in an MST3K way so at least we could laugh about it but we also could have been watching Elf for the 7th time and that would have been so much better, you know, because smiling is my favorite.

Probably my favorite of our family traditions (and the one that everyone knows about) is our obsessive holiday baking. We have always made a large number of holiday cookies. A typical Garland family holiday baking list might include: cutouts (obviously), snowballs, chocolate chip cookies, random cookie Mom found in a magazine and wants to make, the Christmas Day cake (a more recent addition), banana bread, and spritz cookies. The best part of making cutouts with my parents and brother is that we get ridiculously silly while doing it. My mother and I laugh about things that are not funny, my brother stares on and probably has some sort of internal dialogue going about how he needs to leave the country next year and get out of baking, and my father rolls out the cookie dough and occasionally turns and says things like, "What are you laughing about now?" He's a very patient man, my dad, and seems to put up with silliness very well. My mother and I may or may not be able to tell anyone what we're laughing about because we don't know or we're laughing too hard. And we make snowmen cookies that look like the Blues Brothers. We call them the Belushi snowmen.

I'm not sure when any of this is occurring this year since I haven't been told to come over to bake yet. Seems suspicious.

Now that I bake on my own I also add additional cookies/baking to the list. My 2012 holiday baking list (and this seems ridiculous to me when I think about it):

• Bourbon Pecan shortbread
• Regular shortbread
• Cutouts (including ninjas)
• Petit fours (for a baby shower that is next week)
• Hot Cocoa cookies (for my office's cookie exchange, plus extra for people who aren't participating but I know would enjoy a cookie or two)
• Banana bread
• Homemade marshmallow fluff (for the Hot Cocoa cookies)

Ninjas, not skate punks. Next time, I'll ice them instead - ninja costumes and throwing stars.

It's possible I need a hobby that doesn't involve baking. I tried to calculate the amount of flour and sugar I've gone through since moving back to Virginia and I had to stop because my head started hurting. I guess it doesn't really matter since people seem to enjoy the baked goods and I like it when people are happy.

As a general rule, I don't like Christmas music at all. My father looooooves Christmas music and would probably play it all the time if we allowed him to but we don't. I think I really used to love Christmas music (and I know all the words to the songs) but now I just can't deal with it. If the music didn't start in October maybe I'd feel differently. Now, I don't mind random Christmas music like a Johnny Cash Christmas or Christmas in Detroit (featuring the greatest holiday song of all time, "Christmas in Jail"). I love David Bowie and Bing Crosby singing "The Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth" and any Christmas music by a brass band or Harry Connick, Jr. is alright in my book. But that's where it ends. But I get it if you enjoy Christmas music and want to listen to it all the time just bring headphones and don't tell me about it.

The best thing about Christmas (or whatever holiday you might celebrate around this time of year) is that it's all about what you and your loved ones make it. If you like to go to Burger King on Christmas Eve, then you should (a tradition we once did) or if you open presents on Christmas Eve, then do it. If everyone in your family has to wear a hideous Christmas sweater, be that family (and take pictures for me). We all make the holidays what we want them to be and spend time with the people we love and care about-that's what's important.

And Harry Connick, Jr. singing.

In a monument state of mind

"The Washington Monument is big, and I supposed it could be also be classified as impressive or noble or something along those lines; symmetrically presidential might be the ideal term. But what is this 550-foot masonry structure supposed to tell me? What is is supposed to make me understand?"
                                           -Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live

Chuck goes on to discuss whether he's supposed to think about George Washington, the nation's capital, and compares going to the Grand Canyon to seeing the monuments. Ultimately, the monuments do nothing for him and he concludes that "It's just...tall."

Oh Chuck! You know that I love you and your books but I just don't agree at all. I love monuments and historical sites and historical markers. Monuments and historical markers give us the sense of the historical "us" of living in the US. How else would we know about all the random things that happened right outside our doors or along the way to visit famous rock and roll death sites (like Chuck)?

Honestly, my ideal road trip across the US would involve stopping at every historical marker that I saw along the way (and it would culminate in going to Frontier Days in Cheyenne, WY). That road trip just screams awesomeness. I could start by driving just around Virginia; I probably wouldn't make it 10 feet without finding one. In fact, I saw a school group walking around my neighborhood a few weeks ago checking out the markers in the area. Maybe I'll start there.

My family moved to Virginia when I was in the 7th grade.  I've been to all the monuments, the Smithsonian museums (and the zoo), the National Gallery of Art, the National Archives, the White House, the Capital, the Supreme Court, and a lot of other historical places and spaces multiple times since every single family member and several of my parents' friends came to visit us over the years. I was a tour guide at the Newseum before I moved to California. The DC area appeals to the history nerd side. I love a plaque on the side of a random building and I love telling people the bizarre historical facts I've collected over the years. Fun fact: Wok and Roll in Chinatown is in the building that was Mary Surratt's Boarding House (yep, where the Lincoln conspirators met). Enjoy that food and check out the plaque next time you're in the area.

My friend Amy is in town this week. Amy is an ideal partner in crime - up for adventures, having fun, and a good laugh. She hasn't been to DC since the 8th grade so we decided to spend Saturday visiting the monuments. The National Mall is one of my favorite places. When I was an information desk volunteer at the Freer & Sackler Galleries, I used to cringe every time someone would wander in and ask where all the stores were located. The National Mall is not that kind of mall. It's an English mall - meant for walking and promenading (and picture taking, so much picture taking).

If you exit at the Smithsonian Metro station and you walk to your left, you'll eventually come to the Washington Monument. You can't really miss it - it's a 555 foot tall obelisk. It's the tallest building in DC and it's sort of sad to see all the fencing up around it. The monument sustained damage in the 2011 earthquake and it not currently open to the public. You can at least take pictures and bask in its awe-inspiring glory. Fun fact: the monument is different colors because of construction delays (due to lack of funds and politics as usual) and the inability of later builders to find stone from the same quarry. Amy and I heard some people criticize the different colors today as we were walking back. Researched that one for you, Island readers.

As you walk past the Washington Monument and cross the street, you enter into the World War II memorial. This is a newer addition to the monuments opening in 2004. There's construction going on around the World War II memorial and the Reflecting Pool. It's not as nice and tranquil as it normally is but I guess that's progress or something. We made our way along the Reflecting Pool and heard a mom say to her son, "Remember that part in Forrest Gump when Jenny ran across the pool?" The mom said Jenny exactly like Tom Hanks in the movie. Amy and I laughed about this throughout the day especially since I had also mentioned the movie but without the flourish of a Forrest Gump impression.

We finally made it to the Lincoln Memorial. Lincoln is my favorite. I probably bored Amy to death with my random Lincoln facts (more to be shared later on when we went to the American History Museum and I mentioned embalming and the fact that there was a challenge in transporting the President to Illinois for burial). I loved Manhunt but haven't seen the new Lincoln movie yet. You can read both the Second Inaugural Address and the Gettysburg Address while visiting with Abe. The Lincoln Memorial screams presidential to me. You can't help but think of the awesomeness of the job of the President and the challenges Lincoln faced while in office. I'm also sort a Civil War nerd too so I read about Lincoln a lot. I can't even imagine being the President and daily thinking about what was happening on those battlefields and across the country. Lincoln is also beautiful at night. Hollywood occasionally gets something right when they film here.

We also went to the Korean War Memorial (which I had never been to before) and to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. These two memorials are the most difficult to view (I think). I've seen people at the Vietnam Memorial overcome with emotion. It's one of those moments you don't want to see but you totally understand. Amy was able to find the name of her relative who was listed as MIA in 1970. It's was an emotional end to our memorial/monument tour.

What I find most interesting about all the monuments is that they're all controversial to someone. Whether it's the design or the location or the exclusion or inclusion of one group or another, no one is ever happy with a monument. It's disheartening to think about that when you're actually standing in front of the monument or memorial. How does one even decide who gets to be memorialized?

Here are a few tips from Amy and I about truly enjoying your day on the Mall. Ladies, let's discuss footwear. I don't know about you but when I walk at least two miles (the distance from the Smithsonian to the memorials and back), I don't want to wear high heels. I barely wear high heels in my normal life but really? We saw countless women in very high heels walking along the paths to the Vietnam Memorial (which is partially cobblestone) and up the stairs (so many stairs) to Lincoln. This is more than likely why fashionable tennis shoes were invented (I can't be certain of this but it's a pretty good guess). Even if you drove over to the monuments and parked, I don't want to be you at the end of the day.

Also, let's discuss decorum at and around the monuments/memorials. I will give you your space if you are protesting something or whatever, but driving past the Vietnam Memorial is not a time to blast really loud music (rap in this case but it would apply to any music) while stopped at the light. Show a little respect for the people on that wall and turn the music down or off. It's not that hard to know when you're right there - you can see it from your car.

And how did we finish our day? Discussing First Lady fashion and seeing the flag that inspired The Star-Spangled Banner and of course, seeing the dinosaurs. What trip to the Mall would be complete without seeing the dinosaurs? And the Hope Diamond (we did that too).

So Island readers, especially those of you in the greater DC area, get out and visit our lovely city. Go see a monument or two. Go visit your favorites at the Smithsonian or the National Gallery of Art. It's another thing you can do to be a good citizen without being political. We have so many amazing opportunities here to see so many great things and we never do it. Or we only do it when the company is in town. There's nothing wrong with being a tourist in your own town. I'll help you plan your day if you'd like. I'll even throw in some unnecessary historical facts so that you can impress (or bore) your friends and family. Because I care.

Old lady concert rules

As I've gotten older I've noticed that I complain about a lot of things I never cared about or complained about before. I haven't decided if it's because I'm settling into the behavior pattern of the old lady that I will become one day or if people are just more annoying now then when I was younger. It's also possible that I have less patience now than I did before but I find that hard to believe given what I do for a living. Maybe it's just that I save my patience and allowances for nonsense for my clients and co-workers rather than strangers.

My old lady behavior is at its worst at concerts. I wasn't always an old lady concertgoer. When I went to my first concerts (New Kids On The Block, Def Leppard, Huey Lewis & the News), I was so wrapped up in the coolness of finally going to a show that I couldn't care less what people around me did or didn't do. It was all about the music and being impossibly grown-up.

I've been to a lot of shows over the years in every type of venue and all sorts of bands and musicians. I've been to Jazz Fest more times than I can count and I went to the first Lilith Fair (1997). I also went to one of the first concerts at what was then Nissan Pavilion (R.E.M., 1995). I even flew to Detroit to see The Stooges reunite for The Weirdness tour in 2007. I'm still sad about the whole "don't play anything from Raw Power rule" that was in place but at least I got to see Ron Asheton play before he died.

My top six concerts of all time are:

1. Patti Smith and Her Band, Ram's Head Live (12.01.12)
2. Pixies, DAR Constitution Hall (12.01.09)
3. The Decemberists and the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, Merriweather Post Pavilion (07.14.07)
4. Tina Turner, New Orleans Arena (10.25.00)
5. Tori Amos, DAR Constitution Hall (04.26.96)
6. Run DMC, Palm Court at Loyola University New Orleans (10.24.99) - Loup Garou y'all (old school style)

The Patti Smith show on Saturday was amazing. I've never really understood why people follow charismatic leaders and do really stupid things because of said leader but after this show, I totally get it. If Patti Smith ruled the world it would be a better place and I would do whatever she said to do. She's empowered and hilarious and dances like no one's watching and sings the saddest songs with the same spirit as rock anthems. When she sang "Because the Night" I could feel the longing for Fred "Sonic" Smith, her late husband and a founding member of MC5. She dedicated it to him and her reworking of the song was about him (Springsteen originally recorded it but wasn't pleased with the song; Patti took it back and made it a classic rock love song). It was one of the more moving concert moments I've ever experienced. Did I also mention that Lenny Kaye played some songs from The Nuggets and it was badass?

While I was enjoying the awesomeness of Patti, I also had my old lady concert moments. What's interesting about a show like this one is that you're going to have a huge range of ages in the audience. Lots of old punks and rock guys who saw Patti in New York in the 70s, college kids (so many college kids), people my age, and everything in between. A lot of shows at Ram's Head are 21 and up but I'm not sure that this one was. I got there early (as is my habit for most everything) so I had a pretty good spot on the floor (Ram's Head is standing room either in the pit/floor area or upstairs). I never go upstairs. In the space of the 2 hour set (thank you whatever spiritual force was at work for no opening act), there were a whole lot of my old lady concert rules broken. So let's discuss the rules.

1. When you go to a standing room only show and you get there late DO NOT push your way to front. Your friends are not up there waiting for you (we know you're lying) and the rest of us got here early to get our spots. Suffer in the back where you belong (and I don't care how short you are).
2. Don't wear the shirt of the band you're going to see. Don't be that guy (or girl).
3. No backpacks in the pit. When you start dancing (and you know you're going to start dancing girl who cut to the front), your backpack will hit everyone around you. And impede our dancing/headbanging/etc. You deserve the elbows that you get.
4. When you buy a ticket to a seated concert, stay in your seat. I didn't pay the large sum of money I paid for my seat to look at your back for 2 hours. Unless everyone is standing, sit the eff down.
5. I get it - I was born in 1979 and missed all the great shows in the history of great shows. I will never get to say "Remember when Patti sang "Because the Night" for the first time at CBGB's?" or "Did you see that show where the Ramone (insert whichever one) fell off the stage?" You are Captain Cool and I bow to your coolness. However, if we're at the same Patti Smith show and you're going on and on and on about how much better she was two days ago when you saw her in New York or wherever, I reserve the right to tell you to shut up. No one cares because we're trying to enjoy our own Patti Smith experience. 
6. Variation on the rule above: If you want to discuss how you used to go see the band before they were famous and now they're "sellouts" because they booked the Verizon Center or wherever, please be quiet. You bought a ticket to this show and being successful doesn't equal selling out.
7. Strike the word "merch" from your vocabulary. Do you work in the music industry? Are you in a band? Do you want to sound insufferable all the time?
8. If you're going to drink at the show:
1. Don't dance like you're an extra in a movie about Woodstock. You're not in a field and there are other people around you.
2. Apologize if you spill your drink on someone.
3. Don't drive. Have a DD, take a cab or public transportation, stay somewhere nearby. 
4. If you are with this drunk fool, take responsibility for them and don't laugh like it's the funniest thing ever. Also, if your friend is about to get into a fight or hitting on someone who is not interested, get them out of there. For real.
9. Don't yell "Freebird." It's not funny, the band doesn't appreciate it, and chances are the vast majority of the audience doesn't get the reference anyway (depending on the show).
10. Tailgating should be reserved for sporting events (see #8 as well).
11. Cell phones are not the same thing as lighters. 
12. Don't carry on loud conversations during quiet songs (lady on the 2nd floor at Ram's Head, I'm talking to you). If The Velvet Underground's Live at Max's Kansas City teaches us anything, it's that no one cares if you want to go to the movies later or how awful so and so is. Even if you are Jim Carroll. 

I know, I'm turning into such a grumpy old lady. I don't even know what's wrong with me. With the exception of numbers 4, 6, 9, and 10 all of these rules were violated at the show on Saturday. I know the world does not exist solely for me. People can do what they want and live the lives they're going to live but I think we'd all enjoy concerts much more if we all followed the rules. I just want everyone to be a good rock and roll citizen. Is that too much to ask?

I'll leave you with this (I get a little teary):

I'm just behind and to the left of the older gentleman with the ponytail and the green jacket but out of the frame.

Video from youtube.com
Photos by me

Unnecessarily attached to people who don't exist

It's not difficult to become attached to fictional characters. Books, movies, tv shows, songs - it really doesn't matter. Think about all the major motion picture franchises of the last few years: The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Harry Potter, Twilight (although I hate to include them), the Marvel Comics films, The Hunger Games - very few of these started with fans of just the films. Most people who went to see these films (including myself - except Twilight) had some kind of attachment to the characters before they got in line. The power of good story is that we connect to it on a personal level. That's what keeps us rereading books and waiting in long lines at the midnight show. We want to see those beloved characters come to life. 

I even do this is cycles: every 2 years, I reread Anna Karenina. It's my February book. I haven't seen the new version of the film yet (maybe over the Christmas holidays) and I'm worried that I'll hate it and that somehow the book will be ruined for me. I mostly blame this on the casting on Keira Knightley.

The first real characters I felt this way about were the characters in Judy Blume novels. I'm convinced that she created all of these characters exclusively for me. Margaret, Sally J. Freedman, Sheila the Great, Fudge and Peter - they were all my friends and I wanted to hang out with them and/or be them (in the case of both Margaret and Sally). While I did read the "older" books (Deenie, Forever..., Wifey, Summer Sisters), my favorites have always been Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret and Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself. I reread them both recently and I still identified with Margaret and Sally. And honestly, I'd really like to know what happened to Margaret when she got to high school.

Recently, I've found myself not identifying with characters in books as much and more with characters on tv shows. Gilmore Girls, Leslie and Ben on Parks and Rec, Jaye from Wonderfalls, and even the characters on Hell On Wheels - I just can't help but be concerned for them and invest way too much time in thinking about what's going to happen to them (except Jess and Dean from GG - I don't care and I don't like either of you).

But the show that takes the cake in my habit of becoming attached to people who don't exist is Treme. I'm still thinking about the season 3 finale (and there may be spoilers in a few minutes but I feel like you've had plenty of time to watch it) and how I was concerned the entire episode for Terry and LP's safety. Honestly, I thought that one or both of them would get killed or seriously injured in this episode. It's not like it's unrealistic given their professions (detective and investigative journalist respectively).

There's a part in this episode where Terry goes to get into his NOPD issued car and he's knows something is up (given his status in the department) and my only thought was, "Please don't get into that car because it will explode and you will die and I'll never get to see you and Toni happy together on this show. And then I will be sad." He does not get in the car (and it doesn't blow up) but he does find drugs in the trunk because his fellow officers are trying to set him up. He walks away and lives but I hate that he's the only honest cop and no one else seems to get it. Even in the final moments of the show when he and Toni are sharing a post-Jazz Fest beer on the porch, an NOPD car rolls by watching them. And I thought - they're going to die (but they don't). When LP made it to his flight safely, I let out a sigh of relief. (The man tailing him the whole episode? Federal agent who likes him not who wants to kill him.) And laughed when he told a girl at the airport that his favorite music was "metal and sea shanties."

There are so many characters to love on this show and I honestly don't want anything bad to happen to them. (We'll have to discuss the season 2 finale and Annie's uncomfortable use of Harley's music this season another day.) When it does, I get made and all riled up on their behalf. I know that a lot of why I specifically love this show is because it's the closest thing I have to New Orleans in my living room once a week. I cry during every Mardi Gras episode. I watch for people I know (since many local actors have parts on the show) and I pine for the food and the music and the people.

Andrew, Ghost Tour guide

I could go on for hours about LaDonna, Albert, Annie, and Antoine (characters I also adore beyond belief and would fight for if it came down to it) but my other absolute favorite is Davis. Steve Zahn is perfect as Davis, part-time DJ, New Orleans music fiend, and all around man with a plan. The character Davis based in part on an actual person, Davis Rogan, but he actually reminds me of my friend, Andrew. Andrew and I have known each other a long time and he moved to New Orleans when I was still working for the university. He instantly fit into New Orleans (I occasionally describe him as the King of New Orleans). Andrew, like Davis, seems to know everyone and is involved in all sorts of artistic and cultural and random events. And it all makes sense in the world of New Orleans. That's what I love about the city and Treme - you see the juxtaposition of the insane and the sublime, the normal and the unusual in everything all the time.

Treme is done for the season and there's only five more episodes left for the entire series (at least that's what I've heard). I guess I'll have to find something else to do with my Sunday nights. Or I could just start it all over again from the beginning. Maybe I'll find more things to love about my favorite fictional characters.

Check out Andrew's album: http://www.wahida.org/
Photo by me
Image from http://apples-and-books.tumblr.com/post/33218813216/today-i-fell-in-love-with-another-fictional

It's a marshmallow world

There are some mysteries of life we're not supposed to ever figure out: why you lose one sock when doing laundry, how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop, or perhaps one of these nuggets that always seem to pop up.

However, the mystery around how to make marshmallows is not one of these things. Learning how to make marshmallows is a magical and amazing process. Making marshmallows can get you out of whatever gloom you happen to be in (more on this later) and people don't actually believe that you can do it. Because who makes marshmallows except Jet Puff?

The answer: I do. I make marshmallows. And I make homemade graham crackers (because Martha Stewart told me to). Pause for a moment to consider this information and enjoy this at the same time:

I'm guessing that Frank and Dean were drinking heavily before this was filmed. I can't be certain but if my Rat Pack knowledge serves me correctly, that was really a staple of every performance. That accounts for the choreography and the fact that Frank is sort of holding Dean up as they come down the piano key steps. However, it's awesome and fun and marshmallow-y so we should all watch it every holiday season just for smiles.

I learned to make marshmallows about 4 years ago (before this whole trend started so I clearly like things before liking them is cool). I found a recipe in a copy of Woman's Day magazine my mom had. It seemed simple enough and my mom gave me her 20+ year old stand mixer so that I could try it out (because my mom is great and had her own shiny Kitchen Aid stand mixer to use). Around the same time, I also got the Martha Stewart Cookies cookbook and decided to try to make homemade graham crackers. This is also the cookbook in which Martha quotes Proust before a recipe for madeleines so you know it's amazing.

Anyway, the whole experiment was a success. My co-workers enjoyed a random homemade treat (microwave s'mores aren't too bad) and I've made this combination over and over again ever since. I've tried peppermint marshmallows (a little toothpaste-y but excellent in hot chocolate), raspberry and strawberry (interesting but not my favorite), and chocolate (no surprise that these are wonderful).

My first batch ever, 2009

But my go-to marshmallow is vanilla - lovely, snowy vanilla marshmallows. Something so simple and easy is always the best. When you start, you don't think that the ingredients (gelatin, sugar, corn syrup or simple marshmallow syrup, vanilla, and water) are going to come together into the fluffy magic that is a marshmallow. But then you put everything in the stand mixer and 15 minutes later - viola! Marshmallow heaven. The first time I made them I watched the mixture change from clear liquid to marshmallow and it was awesome. I had no idea that's how it all worked. And I made a very bold declaration: that making marshmallows could get you out of a Lou Reed gloom if you were in one.

What's a Lou Reed gloom you ask? In several episodes of the Gilmore Girls, Lane and Rory discuss their gloomy moods based on music or musicians. Lane uses "Lou Reed gloomy" to describe her conundrum of actually liking a Korean boy (which her mother would love) and that this one fact ruined him/their relationship for her. Later episodes discuss Johnny Cash gloom.

I love the idea of describing your mood based on musicians. I've taken this a little further than the Girls and divided my gloom scale into five levels:

1. Lou Reed gloom - encapsulated by the song "Perfect Day" in which Lou has a perfect day with a person that clearly just keeps him around for no reason. I also like the way he says "sangria" in this song. There's hurt and love and gloom.
2. Johnny Cash gloom - Have you heard his version of "Hurt"? Even before that there was always a little gloom in his songs - regret, longing, violence, bad behavior.
3. The Smiths/Morrisssey gloom - Do I have to explain this one? Just because you put an 80s pop beat to a song doesn't make it peppy. Loneliness, despair, angst, and a little loathing abound.
4. Hank Williams gloom - "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" just about sums it up. There are plenty of peppy Hank Williams songs too but most of his songs are about loss and being used (story of his life). That yodel was a cry for help, my friends.
5. Radiohead gloom - This particular kind of gloom also involves paranoia. Whenever I listen to Radiohead I immediately think "At least I'm not Thom Yorke."

(As an aside, I really like sad songs so even if I wasn't particularly gloomy I could still listen to a great sad song any day. Like these or early Wilco.)

Last batch, August 2012

I've made marshmallows a lot since that first batch. Usually it's because I'm bored and figure that the my co-workers really need a treat the next day. But on a few occasions, I made marshmallows because I was in one of the above moods and the process and the magic (and the goodness) at the end snapped me out of it. Who knew something so simple could be so powerful?

Tomorrow is marshmallow and graham cracker day at my house. I'm teaching a few friends how to make both. I'm going to make vanilla marshmallows today and tomorrow we'll do another vanilla and maybe chocolate and peppermint (depending on their preferences). I have some chocolate too so s'mores will also be on the menu. If anyone is feeling gloomy, I suspect this process will get them right out of it and into a blissful, marshmallow state.

It could be all the sugar but I like to think it's magic instead.

Put the celery down and walk away

It's almost Thanksgiving! I hope that you're prepared for the next several days of eating, football watching, shopping, awkward conversations about your love life, and holiday drinking. Just remember that if you do drink, have a DD or stay where you are. Make smart life choices, Island readers.

I've spent the last two Thanksgivings in California so I'm looking forward to enjoying the day with my parents and brother. Last year, I had Chinese food and watched Hallmark and Lifetime holiday movies while I packed to move to my new apartment. I don't understand why neither network has contacted me about my idea for a new movie. I thought it was pretty great and would go over well with their target audience. Hallmark and Lifetime, I'm still waiting. Let's plan a time to talk over hazelnut coffee and homemade scones. We can also talk about our feelings and how we make lists about love. And how Annabeth Gish would make a phenomenal leading lady for the movie.

Moving on.

I can never decide if Halloween or Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Both have so much to offer in holiday awesomeness. Halloween has candy, scary movies, costumes, and the crisp cool air of fall. Thanksgiving has stuffing, giving thanks, and pie. I could use Charlie Brown cartoons to decide this but I love It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown as much as I love A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Maybe I'll just have to leave them tied for first. This balances out the fact that I loathe New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day equally. Order restored to the universe.

Usually, Thanksgiving is just the four of us (my parents, brother, and me). Over the years, we've adopted "Thanksgiving orphans" (usually my brother's friends) and sometimes we get wild and don't cook a traditional meal (last year the three of them had homemade lemon chicken - get right out of town Garland family). But normally, we're pretty traditional at Thanksgiving: mom's stuffing, Scott's pumpkin pie, dad's cranberry relish and/or pecan pie. I usually help with the stuffing and the rolls. We watch the parade, the dog show, some football, and Charlie Brown. Sometimes we get really rowdy and watch a James Bond movie or two. I don't nap so I normally end up reading while everyone else takes a nap before dessert. My parents like to send me home with a healthy amount of leftovers; my mom and I actually discussed them on the phone today (we're "making" my dad make double the cranberry relish so I can take more home for leftover sandwiches - that's how we roll).

Thanksgiving is usually fairly uneventful. I don't remember any major food mishaps although Mack, the dog, did eat an entire loaf of bread today. It was intended for stuffing but I got a replacement so it  should be fine. Since it's usually just the four of us there aren't any awkward/inappropriate conversations about my love life (although my mom does sometimes drop hints about it without being mean or anything). The craziest thing I've ever witnessed on Thanksgiving was two women fighting (physically had to be separated kind of fighting) over the last celery at a grocery store in Hawaii. It was not pretty.

So really I guess my favorite thing about Thanksgiving it's that it's quiet and normal and nice. There's not a lot of stress and everyone seems happy to be together and there's time to enjoy pie (with real whipped cream). The only thing anyone ever complains about is that the dog show doesn't give enough screen time to the corgi. Do they even understand how adorable corgis are? Have they heard of the internet?

A final thought: if you're going shopping on Black Friday, please remember the following:

• You're missing awesome holiday movies on tv because you're in line at a store.
• Shopping online involves staying in your pjs for much longer on a Friday. Staying in your pjs on a weekday is decadent so I don't understand why you'd want to throw that away to shop.
• Be nice to the clerks and other people working on the holiday. It's not their fault that their store only got two of the monster sized tvs (you should read the fine print my friend).
• Remember where you parked. 

Happy Thanksgiving from the Island of Misfit Toys! Hope you have a celery-fight free day.

Paris, Je t'aime

There is a moment in the film Paris, Je T'Aime when Carol (the amazing Margo Martindale) discusses the moment she fell in love with Paris. It goes a little something like this:

Sitting there, alone in a foreign country, far from my job and everyone I know, a feeling came over me. It was like remembering something I'd never known before or had always been waiting for, but I didn't know what. Maybe it was something I'd forgotten or something I've been missing all my life. All I can say is that I felt, at the same time, joy and sadness. But not too much sadness, because I felt alive. Yes, alive. That was the moment I fell in love with Paris. And I felt Paris fall in love with me. 

I have never been to Paris but in my heart I know exactly what Carol means. I have been in love with Paris since I was a little girl (oh the cliche I know). I have no idea why I focused so specifically on Paris or even exactly when it happened but traveling to Paris is one of those life dreams/goals that has always been there. Maybe it started when we moved to Louisiana and I started taking French in school (the 4th grade y'all). Of course now my French is terrible (this is what happens when you don't practice).

In my mind Paris is magical and wonderful. I envision twinkling lights, the Eiffel Tower, and smartly dressed Parisian couples walking arm in arm down the Champs Elysee. I will immediately be smarter, funnier, and more interesting the moment I land. Despite the fact that my French is terrible I will be able to order perfectly in every cafe. I will finally understand why people wear scarves unironically. I will master the art of the casual glance and wearing red lipstick without issue.

And so finally I am going to Paris. I've been saying that for years but it's finally happening. This June I will celebrate my 34th birthday in the City of Light. Well not my actual birthday - I'm going a week later. I don't know why it's taken me so long to go. I never imagined that I'd go to Rwanda before going to Paris but maybe that's the way that life is supposed to work. You end up going somewhere when you're supposed to go. Now that I've picked my dates, am about to book my flight, and am still deciding on where to stay, the planner in me has been unleashed. What to do while I'm in Paris?

Do I take a literary walking tour of the Left Bank, stopping to see Paul Verlaine's garret, the original Shakespeare & Company, and many of the haunts of Hemingway? Do I spend the day wandering Pere Lachaise visiting with Edith Piaf, Jim Morrison, and Oscar Wilde? What about all the markets and cafes and cookware shopping? Did you know that I can go to store upon store and just buy cookware and cookbooks like Julia Child? What about the Eiffel Tower? Shouldn't I see it at sunset and during the day? Is it wrong that I have no desire to go to the Louvre although I know I should probably go? What about Chanel? Do they offer a tour of Paris according to Amelie? That would make my life so much easier. Decisions are the worst.

My other conundrum about this trip is what to wear. Obviously, I need a very comfortable pair of walking shoes and probably something other than jeans. Why can't I just dress like Gwyneth Paltrow in View from the Top? Because I'm not a flight attendant, can't wear hats, and look awkward in yellow. Comfort is important but so is style in the fashion capital of the world.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I have months to plan and ponder and muse about how to spend my Parisian days and what to wear while doing it. For now, I just want to channel Carol and her fanny-pack and her love of Paris. I want to imagine myself sitting in a lovely park enjoying a bright and sunny Paris afternoon. And feel the city fall in love with me as much as I have fallen in love with it.

Shaken not stirred

If I accomplish nothing else with today's post, at least this theme song will be in your head. I recommend that you play it while driving on any mundane errand. It's fine if you drive a Ford Fiesta, playing this song while driving will immediately make you feel cooler and awesomer.

It's difficult not to love James Bond (37 Bond girls can't be wrong). He's debonair, he's sophisticated, he's witty, he's handsome, he looks good in very tiny shorts, and he always saves the day. It doesn't matter who the villain is or how many henchmen or henchwomen he has thrown at him, James Bond always comes out on top (and you can take that phrase any way you want - it is James Bond after all.)

We're celebrating 50 years of Bond this year. Twenty-three films later (and lots of spoofs and a firm place in pop culture), we're still watching the British spy and hanging on his every move. I've seen all 23 movies, many multiple times. My dad is a huge Bond fan and we occasionally watch the movies on holidays since nothing says holiday quite like James Bond. (Example for Thanksgiving: I am thankful for Daniel Craig being shirtless much of the time in all three of his Bond movies.)

Ian Fleming created the character of James Bond in 1952 with the publication of his first spy novel, Casino Royale. Bond, also known as 007, is a member of MI6 (British Intelligence Service) and would continue as a character in over 16 novels and many short stories. The Bond books are among some of the most famous in the world. The Ian Fleming Publications site is wonderful if you want to learn more about the novels and Ian Fleming's other work. I also like that there is a "conspiracy theory" about James Bond. Makes sense if you think about it.

Anyway, I remember seeing Sean Connery in Dr. No for the first time. Connery was the original Bond and Dr. No was the first Bond film. What doesn't he do right in this movie (or any of his other Bond films)? He's charming, flirty, funny, tough, and drinks the perfect martini. Sean Connery will always be my favorite Bond (he's my dad's favorite too). Five other actors have played 007: Roger Moore, George Lazenby, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and the current Bond, Daniel Craig. If I had to rank the Bonds this would be my order:

1. Sean Connery
2. Daniel Craig
3. Pierce Brosnan
4. Roger Moore
5. George Lazenby
6. Timothy Dalton

Yes, George Lazenby is before Timothy Dalton. Lazenby was only in one Bond film, On Her Majesty's Secret Service (and it was only because Sean Connery was holding out for more money which is why George only lasted one film). I would rather watch that movie everyday of my life than either of the Timothy Dalton films. Something about Dalton annoys me to death so I can't take him seriously as Bond (although I think he's hilarious in Hot Fuzz). Anyway, I think Daniel Craig is truly the best Bond since Sean Connery and the newest film, Skyfall, is the best of his Bond films to date. I saw it last weekend and it was amazing. Action packed, impressive scenery, and modern. Bond has finally stepped into the 21st century.

So what is it about James Bond that makes us keep going back for more? Is it just that an attractive actor is cast in the role and there are Bond girls and car chases and buildings blow up? I don't really think so. Bond movies appeal to a specific fantasy world that none of us live in. How many of you spend your day participating in espionage, driving fancy cars, and wearing clothes that fit you perfectly? And saying pithy things? I'm going to guess none of you. M (the magnificent Judi Dench in the current films) has a great monologue towards the end of Skyfall about working in the shadows and how most of us don't want to know about the shadows. I agree with her totally but I also think that's why we like these movies so much. For a few hours, we get to live in the shadows.

Interestingly, Skyfall humanizes James Bond in a way that isn't often seen in any of the other movies. He's tired and starting to look old, continually referred to as a relic (which is a theme in the Bond movies since the Brosnan days). It's also a lot closer to the Bond in the novels than the Bond of many of the movies. One review I read compared Bond to Lester Burnham from American Beauty (Sam Mendes directed both films). It makes sense - Bond in moving is in midlife crisis mode and this movie is the equivalent of him quitting his job, working out, and generally not caring about anything.

Goldfinger is probably my favorite Bond movie. Let's just start with the fact that Sean Connery wears a tux under his wetsuit in the opening sequence. Who does that? It's the epitome of debonair cool. This is also the Bond movie that gave us one of the greatest movie urban legends of all time: that Shirley Eaton, the actress who dies from being painted gold had died in real life because of the paint. She's still alive but her gold form is as iconic as James Bond himself. I also really love Oddjob, Goldfinger's henchmen, who kills people with his hat and has a great death scene of his own. I'm also fairly certain that this is the only Bond movie where a majority of the action takes place in Kentucky. If James Bond had been an American spy, maybe his drink of choice would have been a mint julep.

And because I can't help myself, another list:

My Ten Favorite Bond Theme Songs

1. Goldfinger - For real, listen to Shirley Bassey's voice on this song. It is amazing.
2. Live and Let Die - Paul McCartney and Wings
3. Skyfall - Adele
4. Nobody Does It Better - Carly Simon
5. Diamonds Are Forever - Shirley Bassey
6. Another Way to Die - Jack White and Alicia Keyes
7. A View to a Kill - Duran Duran and James Bond!!!! The video for this song is pretty awesome.
8. The Man with the Golden Gun - I love Lulu. Who doesn't? 
9. For Your Eyes Only - Sheena Easton
10. Goldeneye - I can't help it - it's not a great song but I love Tina Turner and it's magical.

And by the way, Kevin Spacey would be an excellent Bond villain. I think we need to make this happen.

Videos from youtube.com

She's crafty

I've always considered myself crafty. I don't mean that I'm particularly sly or cunning; I'm referring to the artistic definition of crafty. I can make things out of paper and I enjoy embroidery (especially when it involves Russian nesting dolls or hedgehogs). I've never tried to sell anything that I've made but I do like to give handmade items as gifts. I hope people like what I make. You can never really tell if someone is just being polite or honest when they tell you they like a handmade item. It's sort of like when you'd make something for your parents in elementary school; they had to like it and tell you what an awesome job you did. It's their job. As is lying occasionally to make you feel better. Go parenthood!

I appreciate the fine art of painting on roof tiles and making albums into journals or putting a bird on things. These are all things I can get behind. I like the idea that people can sit in their apartments or houses or their parents' basement and create something that makes them happy and in turn, brings some sort of happiness into the world. I also appreciate that these crafters have figured out the universal truth about humans: we will buy anything. Especially if it has a cute animal, gnome, or dinosaur on it. Humans are weak.

And so today, I found myself at Crafty Bastards, an annual arts and crafts fair in DC that I had never heard of until yesterday. A friend told me about it; one of his friends is one of the vendors and he was going to be there helping her out. When he sent me the link, the first thing I saw was that Berkley Illustration would be there. How could I resist?

If you don't know about Berkley Illustration you should take some time and visit their website. I discovered Ryan Berkley and his animal creations when I moved to California. My office has a holiday party every year and we were discussing the upcoming party and the gift exchange. Two of my co-workers kept telling me about this gift from the year before. It was a painting of a meerkat in aviator clothes. They called it Meerkat Amelia Earhart. No one had a picture of it so I decided to do what any other person in the 21st century would do: I googled "meerkat Amelia Earhart" and "meerkat aviator" and found my way to Berkley Illustration's Etsy store.

Yes, I'm now the proud owner of a meerkat aviator print. This alone was worth the Metro ride and the crowds.

There's also this handsome hedgehog who hangs in the entryway of my apartment. I may also have one featuring a T-Rex wearing a western shirt and a cowboy hat. I just can't help myself when it comes to these delightful animals. It's not just that the prints are whimsical (and you know how I love whimsy), it's that he writes a little story for each one. It's awesome and hilarious.

Crafty Bastards was held at Union Market, recently renovated and shiny and new. It's reminiscent of the Ferry Building in San Francisco although much smaller and in a random location. The history of the market goes back to the 1870s. Like lots of things in DC, it's undergone several different versions and lives in a neighborhood that seems at odds with a trendy, artisan market. As you walk to Union Market from the Metro, there are lots of different ethnic stores and markets too. I walked over to the fair with a woman I started talking to on the Metro and she suggested walking through the surrounding market so I could see the whole area. It was a good suggestion - it was interesting to see the contrast between the older parts of the neighborhood and the shiny new part.

I'd like to come back and visit the market again when it's not a zoo. There were so many people! This is what happens when it's 65 and sunny on a Saturday in November in DC. The only reason I found my friend amongst the vendors (even though I knew the booth number) is because he's really tall and I could see him over the crowd. His friend uses up-cycled and salvaged leather to make purses, wallets, and belts. I bought a lovely purple wrislet from her. You can find Catherinette on Etsy too. She had this awesome red purse that I loved but it was a little out of my budget for today. Maybe next time.

I enjoyed my day at Crafty Bastards although I could only stand the crowd for about two hours. By that point, I had had enough of hipsters elbowing me to look at journals made from recycled book covers and Jay McCarroll's scarves and socks (yes, the first winner of Project Runway was there too). So I gathered up my reusable tote bag (nice little gift as we came in) and my wonderful purchases and made my way back to the Metro and home.


Now I just have to figure out where the meerkat and T-Rex will end up in the apartment. Or maybe one of them should make their way to the office. Nothing says office cube decor more than a T-Rex in a western shirt.

You gotta participate for your right to party

Hello Patriots! It's almost Election Day! A time when we get to participate one of the great parts of the civics experiment that is the United States of America. A time when people wear their "I Voted" sticker as a badge of honor and take their young children with them to vote so that they can experience the awesomeness of being American and participating. And possibly in that one moment of watching their mom or dad vote, they too become a civics geek like me. I can dream.

I try to stay away from the political on the Island as much as possible. I know I wrote about my distaste for/loathing of Rush Limbaugh several months ago and showed my patriotism by attending the 2nd largest Fourth of July parade in the US (or so people tell me), but I've never been overtly political on this blog.

And I will not start today.

I'd rather spend today discussing citizenship and participation. By citizenship, I don't mean nationality or the legal rights to live in a place. What I mean is the other part of citizenship: the rights, privileges, and duties of being a citizen. I take being a citizen very seriously and you should too. Being a citizen is no laughing matter AND it is not something that any of us should take for granted ever. I did mean to shout when I typed that and. That's how important citizenship is to me. I was that kid in elementary school who got upset if I didn't win citizen of the month or get a good mark in citizenship on my report card. I still have the report cards to prove this.

We have a very powerful role in the way that our country works. Unfortunately, we tend to only think about what it means to actually be a citizen every four years during election cycles. We forget that citizenship is a 24/7, 365 day a year responsibility. Voting is only one part of being a citizen. It's a fundamental and very important part of being a citizen but it's not the only part. If you are voting this year, good work! I'm proud of you. You are participating and using your voice. We may not agree on the candidate or the issue (or maybe we do-who knows?) but I like you and appreciate you. If I was at the polling place with you, I'd give you a gold star to wear along with your "I Voted" sticker. I care about voting that much.

Seriously, I get mad and feel ill when people tell me they're not voting. Why is this even a choice a person would make? Do you really want other people to be your voice? That doesn't even make sense to me. And don't tell me it's because you're tried of the rhetoric or the negativity of the campaigns. I get that but I also know that if you don't vote, you can't change either of those things. Your voice and vote matter. So make it happen, Patriots. Get out and vote.

And yes I understand that we all have a choice in life especially when it comes to voting or not voting. That's part of being American and having freedom and all. I just think it's a bad choice and you know, I only want you to make good choices. Because I care.

Moving on.

Voting is not the only way we exercise our citizenship. Paying taxes, serving on a jury, taking your garbage out on the appointed day, volunteering your time to a cause - these are also ways in which we participate in our communities and our nation. Many of these things seem like chores and are boring but they're important for the social fabric of our nation. And I think we've forgotten one of the most fundamental ideas of citizenship.

Being nice to one another.

If I learned anything from my teaching days, it's that teenagers have a hard time understanding the larger concept of citizenship because the majority of the actual activities typically associated with citizenship are activities that they are not really able to participate in. You know what they do understand? Being nice to people. And caring about the community they live in. When I taught civics (particularly 9th grade civics), I spent a lot of time discussing these aspects of citizenship. And I think that my students got it. I keep up with many of them on the FB and they seem to be living extraordinary and interesting lives. Many are politically active (high five!) and seem to be good citizens (double high five!). I'm proud of them and hope they pass that down to the next generation.

In honor of my former students and because I want you all to participate, here are 10 non-boring, non-political ways that you can be a good citizen:

1. Put your shopping cart in the shopping cart return area rather than leaving it in a parking spot. If you can't return it to the return area for a legit reason (being in a hurry is not a legit reason by the way), at least try to leave it in such a way that would not prohibit the next person from parking in the spot.
2. When driving and trying to merge into a lane, wave when a person lets you in. They didn't have to and it will make them happy that they did.
3. If someone drops something, pick it up for them and return it.
4. Hold open doors for people. I come from the South where people, particularly men, do this naturally and without pause. The rest of the country needs to get on board with this.
5. Talk on your cell phone in appropriate places and at appropriate volumes. For real, I don't care how much of a jerk so and so is, turn the volume down because it's early and I just want to enjoy my coffee.
6. Volunteer your time to an organization or cause. Make sure you pick something that you truly believe in and are passionate about.
7. Agree to disagree. And move on. If someone believes in something you will more than likely not be able to change their minds. It's not worth frustration, screaming, and a stream of curse words (and I swear like a sailor sometimes so I get it). Just agree to disagree and move onto a topic that's less controversial like the fact that puppies are cute.
8. Go to the Fourth of July parades/events in your city or town. Seriously, nothing is better than a parade and you can't get better than a Fourth of July parade.
9. Get a library card and use it. I love, love, love libraries and I fear for their safety some days. Reading is fundamental friends but libraries are also so much more. They can be the center of a community. Libraries often host events too (book clubs, lectures, artist talks, family events). There's something for everyone at your local library.
10. Be nice to people. If the Dearborn Police can put this on the side of their cruisers, each and every one of us can do it in our daily lives (see above photo). It takes more energy to be a jerk.

There you have it - ten ways to easy and non-politically be a good citizen. Try doing at least one of this things this week. I think you'll enjoy it and want to do more.

Happy citizening! (Yes, that is a made up word but isn't it glorious?!)

And because I borrowed a little from a Beastie Boys song, here you go. Kick it!