My 40th Year on Earth: So what did I actually do?

Welcome to the last Island post of 2019 and the first post written from my new home! As I write this, Keely is sitting behind the curtain of the sliding glass door (his favorite spot), looking out into the dark morning. He may never come out of his hiding place. Maybe Keely understood 2019 better than all of us.

I always go into a new year trying my best to be optimistic and hopeful. Last year, around this time, I decided that I was going to spend 2019 doing things that I've always wanted to do but hadn't gotten around to doing. I wanted to live my 40th year on Earth (I turned 40 in June) in a way that included fun, challenge, and whimsy. I devised an impressive list of what I would try to accomplish:

• January: Participate in a Polar Bear Plunge to benefit Special Olympics VA. (ON)
• February: Ride in my first Mardi Gras parade. Hail Nyx! (FF)
• March: Actually sing at a karaoke night.  (T)
• April: Mastering the Art of French Cooking - I'll make a four course meal from this iconic cookbook. (ON)
• May:  Take a welding/jewelry class. (ON)
• June: Experience my 40th Birthday Extravaganza. I don't know what this means yet, but I'll figure it out. (FF)
• July: Launch my podcast, Don't Be a Jerk at Work. (T)
• August: Enter the Arlington County Fair baking contest, probably in the holiday cookie category.
• September: Take drum lessons. (FF)
• October: Go to Hershey Spa because why wouldn't I want to go to a chocolate spa? (PS - I don't like strangers touching me, so this is both a fun goal and a little uncomfortable for me.) (FF)
• November: Put The Craftery plan on paper. (T)
• December: Send Transient Suburbia proposal to at least two publishers. (T)

I classified these activities into three categories: For Fun (FF), Terrifying (T), and Outside the Norm but Still Different (ON). 

So what did I end up doing in 2019? Of the twelve activities, I completed six (links to the posts about each one are in the above list). I jumped into cold water for charity, I rode in a freaking parade, and I sang in public. I didn't make a four course meal from MTAOFC, but I did make the Queen of Sheba cake, one of Julia Child's most famous cake recipes. We threw a huge party at a winery to celebrate my birthday, my dad's birthday, and his retirement. I also embraced my inner old person during the month of June by getting irrationally mad because someone parked in my parking spot. 

I also listened to all four solo KISS albums so you never have to. I'm giving in that way. 

There were things I didn't do, and most of the things I didn't do were big things. These are projects I really care about, but am still not 100% in the right mindset to work on them. That's been something I've really focused on in 2019: mindset. No, this is not a post about Carol Dweck. I tend to focus on the things that could go wrong very quickly or what won't work, and I've made a concerted effort in 2019 to do the opposite. So I didn't send my novel to a publisher or start a podcast or figure out how to one day open my craft store. That's okay. Those things aren't supposed to happen right now. They'll happen when they're supposed to happen. Maybe this sounds like a cop out, but I don't think it is. I want to be able to focus on these projects to make the most of them. I wouldn't have been able to give them the attention they deserve this year. For me, that would be worse than failing. 

Instead of those things, I bought a house, admitted to being a perfectionist and how I need to let that go, presented at my first professional conference, celebrated one year with Keely, and went to Game 4 of the NLCS to see the Nationals advance to the World Series (I also went to the World Series parade because the Nats won). I got a button maker for my birthday and I went axe throwing. 

2019 was a year of introspection for me. I spent a lot of time thinking about what would make me happy, not my parents or my friends, but me. I bought a house (condo, but you know what I mean), something I really never saw myself doing. I got promoted, and have been focusing on being a better manager, which means failing spectacularly but doing it anyway. I asked for help, probably more than I have before. I also had a freaking blast this year, even when things were stressful. I got to spend time with people I love dearly. I rode in a freaking parade (I know I said this already)! I made glitter purses, probably the most frivolous thing I can do. Fun, challenge, whimsy - that's what I did in 2019.

Happy New Year from the Island! 

See you in 2020 for more glitter, Keely, and whatever else I decide to share.

Keely's Big Adventure

At a recent work holiday happy hour, I was talking with a few of my co-workers on the walk to our cars and one asked me how I would handle a person who was being rude to or about Keely. This was part of a larger conversation we'd been having about house guests and pets. I shared a story earlier in the conversation about my friend's son playing with Keely for the entire time he visited and how it exhausted the cat so much he slept a solid 24 hours. Someone else shared about a time when a guest came over and was horrified that the dog was allowed to stay out when people were visiting. Really? The dog lives there; you are visiting. I don't get people who know they're visiting a house with animals and then are surprised the animals are there. It makes be rage-ful when people ask me if Keely is going to bite them when they come over. No, my cat is not going to bite you. Cats don't walk up to a person and bite them for no reason. If you give him a reason, well, maybe you shouldn't be around cats.

Anyway, my response to the question about rudeness was "I would have words with a person who was rude to or about Keely. If they tried to physically harm my cat son, I would fight them and win." My co-worker chuckled and said something like "that's what I thought you'd say," but not in a judge-y way. It's my duty as a pet mom to defend my pet. That's how it works. If you're not prepared for this part of your responsibility as a pet parent, don't get a pet. Ever.

We celebrated Keely's first year with me back in June, and it's been a good one. Challenging at times, but a good first year. Keely has had to adjust to a lot in that time, and he's slowly becoming more comfortable with me. Of course, just as we're getting comfy, I go and decide to buy a house and upset the entire order of our lives with a move. Baby boy is stressed out, and apparently hates boxes. How did I end up with a cat who hates boxes?

As the process of purchasing the condo was going on, I was planning how to best introduce Keely to his new home. We're not officially moving in until after Christmas, so we'd also have a visit to my parents in the middle of all of this, so what would be the best way to get him used to the new place? I decided to take him over with me before all our stuff arrives to explore and rub his little face on everything. I packed him up and took him over to keep me company while I waited for the cable guy.

Keely doesn't get to go on very many adventures. He's recently started hissing at me when I try to put him the carrier, so leaving the house is not one of our preferred activities. Keely's adventures mainly consist of tracking the ghost in our apartment (it might be a ghost, it might be our upstairs neighbors - we'll never really know), playing with his favorite toy mouse so enthusiastically that it gets stuck under the oven or refrigerator, napping, and communing with a spider that lives between the glass and screen of my bedroom window. He lives a very full indoor life.

I got him into the big carrier (we have two carriers) by bribing him with treats and then quickly closing the carrier door. He hissed at me and gave me a look that said, "you thought my revenge for the bow ties was going to be bad, just wait." He was pretty quiet on the actual drive over to the condo, plotting his revenge on me in his very devious cat way. We arrived at the condo, and thankfully, none of our dog neighbors were outside. I carried him up the stairs and let him out of the carrier. He darted out of the carrier so fast I barely had time to get out of his way. He ran around the condo with a speed I've never seen. He slid across the tile floor in the kitchen. He jumped on the window ledges. He rubbed his face on the walls. He decided to explore the bathtub. He found the sun patches. He escaped into the main hallway.

Yes, he got out of the condo. I went out to the car to grab a few things, and was coming back inside and he darted out. Thankfully, he was still inside and I was able to catch him and get him back inside. I'm going to have to baby gate the entry until he understands that it's not okay to dart outside. It was a very busy three hours.

I have no idea if bringing Keely over to the condo was a good idea, but at least when he comes back next week, it'll smell like him and he'll see our stuff and maybe feel a bit more like it's his home. He can continue his pursuit of rubbing his face on everything to make it his, and maybe he'll make a new spider friend. Hopefully, he'll get used to the new noises around the community and find his ideal napping spots.

Did I mention the fireplace? I didn't even turn the fireplace on, and Keely figured out that it's the best place in the condo. What's even going to happen when I figure out how to turn it on?

We've got one more day of packing, a few days of vacation, and then we move. How many new adventures will Keely find in 2020?

I'm suspicious of everything. 

Coming next weekend on the Island: the last post of 2019 - a look at the year that was 2019! Happy Holidays from me and Keely!

My 40th Year on Earth: Someone sold a house to a child

I was out at dinner with my brother on Thursday. He wanted to introduce me to a restaurant near my new place (Italian/Greek combo, good fettuccine, excellent caramel crunch cake). It was the eve of my closing, and we were discussing being adults and how weird it is that I'm buying a condo and my brother is approximately four years away from retirement. We discussed how, despite our ages (my brother is 46), we still think of other people, like our parents and aunts and uncles, as adults, but we're not. I mean, we are, but we're not. I feel like I've had this conversation before; just because you do adult things (don't be dirty) doesn't mean you think of yourself as an adult.

Until you buy a house.

I don't know if it's the amount of money involved, the fact that negotiation may/will occur, that a loan officer is involved, or the fact that you have to sign a gazillion pieces of paper to get the keys, but buying a house is the epitome of adulthood. It involves credit checks, employment verification, getting a cashier's check, and at least four types of insurance. I can't think of anything more adult than four types of insurance. I didn't know there were so many types of insurance involved in one transaction. Why didn't they teach us this in school? I had to learn how to line dance in PE and dissect a frog, but learned nothing about title insurance. I feel like knowing about title insurance should trump knowing how to do the Electric Slide.

And it feels weird. Not bad weird, but "I didn't think I'd do this" weird. It's no secret that I'm not really following a traditional timeline kind of life. I'm 40, and don't have kids or a husband, and have rented an apartment for all of my adult life. I revel in calling Keely my cat son, particularly when it makes the person I'm talking to uncomfortable. I got my driver's license when I turned 20 (fun fact I bet you didn't know about me). The idea of following some sort of predetermined life has always bothered me. We all do things in our own time, and we all have to get better about understanding that. Let people live their best lives even if those lives aren't the way it's always been.

This is why I'm surprised that I decided to buy a house. I've never been opposed to the idea of home ownership, I just never thought it was a me thing. Just like not teaching us about all the types of insurance that exist and what escrow really is, school doesn't prepare anyone for all of the sudden feeling like you need to do something you never thought you'd do. It doesn't prepare you for having to discuss square footage, floor types, condo fees, and parking. I can't exactly explain, but one day I just couldn't face the idea of renting another apartment. I want to paint. I want to redo a bathroom in three years. I want more space.

I closed on my house on Friday. I made delightful small talk with a notary from the title company, my loan officer, and my realtor (because I'm so good at small talk), and signed all the documents and gave them all my money (not all, but you know what I mean). I got my keys, a folder full of papers (which I'll also get electronically apparently), and a promise that my deed will come in the mail. I celebrated by having lunch with my parents and buying a unicorn key chain for my new keys.

Today, I sat on the floor of my new home and stared at the walls for about an hour. I hung the shower curtain in my bathroom, determined that Keely and I will continue to share said bathroom, and figured out that the desk I was going to take from my parents' house is probably too big for the spare room. I met a neighbor, who I'm pretty sure is the neighborhood watch. I still have no idea where my couch is going to go or the television. I glanced through the very large file of appliance manuals the previous owner left me; these very fancy appliances are mine now and I don't know how any of them work. I started planning where my dishes and baking stuff is going to go. I realized that I have a lot of dinosaur decor, which may negate the fanciness of the fireplace. I made a list of all the stuff I still need to buy (garbage cans, don't forget new garbage cans). I tried to remember how to turn on the fireplace, but my mind went blank (my dad probably knows how it works). I wondered if my furniture would look okay or if I'm going to hate everything I own.

And then I laid on the floor in my living room and it was very quiet. I felt at home.

Coming soon to the Island: We recap the year that was 2019, Keely moves into the new house, and I update you on all that glitters in preparation for Nyx 2020!