A Year with Keely

I have a lot of pictures of my cat. The mark of a great cat mom, which I am, is that my phone is basically pictures of my cat son. I mean, he's super photogenic and was basically put on this planet for me to photograph. Let's take a quick look:

Seriously. This is the animal that lives in my house. If I didn't take pictures of him, I'm pretty sure someone from the animal shelter would show up at my house and take Keely away from me for failure to dote on my cat son in the appropriate way. He's just too handsome.

This weekend, we celebrated our first year together. And by we, I mean I tried to cuddle with my cat, he sat in the window and watched birds. That's our life together and it works. My return to being a cat mom hasn't always been easy; there were times when I wondered if I had made a mistake adopting him. My cat son can be a little jerk, but he can also be the most adorable, loving animal there ever was. You know, a cat. Every day is an exercise in patience, love, and first aid skills. I wouldn't trade any of them for anything.

Here's what a year with Keely looks like:

• The Run & Bite: think of this like Keely's version of the Bend and Snap, but with claws and teeth. He likes to run full force into my legs to remind me of his existence (as if I'll forget). I love the smell of Neosporin in the morning (and afternoon and evening). 
• The Couch: Keely won't sit on the couch by himself. He's done it one time in a year. He'll sit with me, but only if I'm sitting a certain way. Which leads us to:
• The Rules of Being a Lap Cat (according to Keely): 
• The human must be sitting on the couch. 
• The human must have her feet propped up on the coffee table. 
• Only then can I (Keely) jump onto the human's lap. She must not pick me up. 
• I will then get comfortable on the human's lap, cuddle with her, hug her, and generally be adorable. I will be the perfect lap cat. 
• The human may shift her legs, but only if the disturbance is minimal.
• After a period of time that can range from 10 minutes to 3 hours, I will determine if some friendly biting is warranted (it always is) or if it's time to get up. 
• The human may use her phone, read, and watch tv while I sit on her lap. However, if her movements bother me, I reserve the right to bite or meow aggressively.
• Repeat, but only on a weird schedule I've created for myself. I might sit on the human's lap everyday, every other day, once a week. The human will never figure it out.
  
• The Return of Living in an Ikea Bag (down by the river): What is with my cats and Ikea bags? Two weekends ago, Keely stayed in the Ikea bag for almost three hours. He was really comfortable, I guess. He did come out for dinner, but hopped right back in for another hour.
  

• The Laser & the Bubbles: Keely is a big boy and needs to lose some weight. His vet suggested a laser pointer as an option for exercise. Keely loves it! He runs around, chases the red dot everywhere, and cat Army crawls after the dot. We play after dinner and in the mornings on the weekends. I'm Keely's fitness accountability buddy. More recently, Keely has discovered BUBBLES. We have Anita to thank for the bubbles. She brought me a dinosaur bubble maker; Keely was hooked. He likes to watch the bubbles land, and then jump on them to pop them. I bought him cat nip bubbles because I'm amazing. He likes them a lot,
• His bed versus my bed: When I first brought Keely home, he slept on my bed. He didn't sleep "with" me, but on the bed, near me. He liked sleeping on or near my legs. He had a bed, but only slept on it during the day. In January, he got an eye infection and got so mad at me because I had to put drops in his eye that he started sleeping in his bed at night. Recently, he's started sleeping with me when the mood strikes him (like on my birthday when he slept as close to my face as he could get without smothering me). He takes up a lot of space and he snores. I think the sudden change in heart is because the weather has gotten warmer and my room is the coolest place in the house. I know my worth. 
• Patrol: I'm not sure if you know about birds and squirrels, but Keely certainly does. He spends the better part of his day sitting in the window, protecting our apartment from birds and squirrels. It's a very important job that mostly involves tail swishing, meowing at the window, and looking at me as if I have the power to make the birds go away. (I don't. They live outside.) He helped my brother catch a mouse back in the fall and he is a fly killer, so he earns his keep as my protector and pest controller. I'm still not sure if there's a ghost in apartment, but I feel confident in Keely's ability to protect our home.

I'm lucky to have Keely in my life. He's a weirdo, but he's my weirdo. He makes me laugh, and makes me calm down and enjoy life. He's a good little dude. 

Now to figure out how to launch his modeling career. Seriously - is the world of male cat modeling a thing? Not in a weird way, but in a "calendar people buy at the counter at the bookstore because that cat on the cover is so freaking handsome" kind of way.