In a galaxy far, far away...

 We are the spark that will light the fire that'll burn the First Order down.

-Poe Dameron, The Last Jedi

I started working on this blog post before seeing Star Wars: The Last Jedi (which I will refer to as TLJ for the remainder of this post). I was sitting in a Barnes & Noble cafe, waiting for my dad and brother to arrive so we could see the movie. It also happened to be the anniversary of Carrie Fisher's death. I started writing this post, beginning with a few subtle (not really) reminders to people about the year that we are currently living in, and that thankfully, will be over very soon. My dad texted me that they were almost at the theatre, so I closed up my notebook and walked over to meet them. We settled into our seats, ordered beers and popcorn (I love the Alamo Theatre), and settled in for the latest episode of Star Wars.

Seeing Carrie Fisher in her final appearance as General Leia Organa and continuing the journey with Rey made me think very differently about what I wanted to say in my final post of 2017. The additions of Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran) and Vice Admiral Holdo (Laura Dern) along with the large number of female fighter pilots and Resistance fighters was overwhelming in a way I did not expect. This is not a feminist review of TLJ as I don't review movies, but it's so hard not to look at this movie in particular without seeing the parallels to where we are right now in the world. As I watched these wonderful female characters grapple with their roles in the Star Wars universe (both on screen and in the press because it's Star Wars and literally everyone has an opinion on everything), I went back to the beginning of the year and back further to our suffragist and feminist foremothers. The resistance, whether in reality or in fiction, is female.

We can see this in so many of the groups who have come to make the activist community what it is - Black Lives Matter was founded by three women, the idea of the Women's March started on Facebook by a woman in Hawaii and was brought to life by an amazing group of women from all walks of life, women have been at the heart of the movement at Standing Rock, and women are finding their voices in the #metoo movement. Time even named "the Silence Breakers" their 2017 people of the year. None of this is news for those of us who have been paying attention and know our history. When I marched back in January, I was not there for myself but for the women who came before me and for the women who will come after me. I was there to honor them and continue to the work that will always need to be done.

I've spent most of this year doing things that I never thought I'd ever have to do: calling members of Congress who do not represent me and asking them to not vote for things that violate basic human standards, arguing with people about why electing an alleged pedophile was a bad idea (and I'm not talking about the 45), listening to dudes tell me that lady Ghostbusters and a female Dr. Who "ruined" their childhoods (spare me), sharing stories of workplace harassment because it finally felt like people were listening, and of course, trying to make sense of the dumpster fire that is the Trump administration. This last one is exhausting because there is nothing logical or normal about any of what the 45 and his minions are doing. Every single one of these activities has done exactly what it needed to do for me: strengthened my political beliefs and my feminist identity.

Feminism is a dirty word for a lot of people. I know I will not change some people's opinions about feminism and feminists, but at the end of the day, I can't help stupid. As I wrote in January, "I believe in affordable, accessible healthcare. I believe women have the right to decide what happens with their bodies. I believe abortion should be legal. I believe Planned Parenthood is an essential part of healthcare options, particularly for women in poverty, for things beyond birth control and abortions. I believe women and girls should not have to fear reporting rape or abuse. I believe men play an important role in feminism. I want the women and girls in my life to know that they can do anything they want. I believe women's rights are human rights. That is why I marched yesterday."

This is feminism for me. It is the belief that women's rights are human rights. That's it; I don't hate men (I rather like most of you and downright love some of you). It's not that men have to lose anything because women are able to access affordable healthcare that is in their best interest, not in the interest of old white dudes who probably haven't seen a vagina in decades, let alone know how one actually works or receive equal pay or not have to walk down the street, fearing the worst. I was pleased to see Merriam-Webster name feminism its word of the year. The designation was based on the frequency of searches as well as the word's place in the larger cultural fabric of the world. I highly recommend following their Twitter account; watching a dictionary troll the President is really satisfying.

Which brings me back to TLJ. Carrie Fisher, our rebel princess and general, was a feminist icon beyond the role of Leia. Leia was not necessarily written as such, but that's what she became. The "boys' fantasy" as she has often been called, came to represent much more to women and girls who watched these movies looking for heroes of their own. Yes, I had a huge crush on both Han Solo and Luke Skywalker (at different stages of my life - Luke is a boy band, Han is a rock band), but Leia was always the reason I returned to these movies over and over again. Seeing Leia as General Organa in episodes VII and VIII, made me even happier. She commanded the Resistance with grace, strength, and wisdom. As I watched TLJ, I thought about this and wondered about all those fanboys and whether Leia ever meant more for them than a hot chick in a gold bikini (which she hated, by the way). I came to the conclusion, by the end of the movie, that some of them became feminists because of Leia even if they don't identify themselves as such. Others will always be those dudes online who can't deal with her or Rey or Holdo. They'll always be there fixating and being derisive because they feel threatened. I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for them to come around; I have more important things to do.

General Leia will always be more than a hot chick in a gold bikini; she is our princess, our general, and our hero. I know I won't get to see her in the next movie, but I can always go back to see her again when I need a reminder about being a badass. I like to think I was channeling her as a "bossy" flower girl (left) and as a marcher (right).

I'm looking forward to 2018. I look forward to continuing the fight and doing what needs to be done so that this country doesn't continue to burn in the dumpster fire that 2017 has been. One of my favorite quotes in TLJ was from Rose, "We're going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love." That is how I intend to live 2018 - focusing on saving what I love.

Happy New Year from the Island! 

If you are going out this weekend to celebrate the end of 2017, please do so responsibly. I'd like you to be around to enjoy 2018 with me.

Lazy Movie Weekend: Fake Eyelashes, Blandly Handsome Leading Men, and Christmas

 "We are a place you can go and feel good."

-Bob Abbott, Crown Media chief executive

"It's like Hallmark or Prozac?"

-Julie Miner as quoted in this WaPo article

A few weeks ago, I read an article on Thought Catalog about the "true" meaning of the term self-care. If you look on Instagram or Facebook or whatever other social media site you follow, there's always someone posting something about "self-care." A lot of the posts include wine or chocolate or bubble baths. The article, which resonated with me, focused on the idea that self-care should really be more about making choices in your life that allow you to live a life you don't need to escape from. It goes on to discuss things like budgeting, working out, and job changes as examples of self-care that we should be doing. Basically, the entire article was one big plug for making smart life choices.

Making smart life choices is my favorite thing.

Now, I'm not saying that I always make smart life choices (hello, perm phase), but I try to live my life in a way that is intentional and drama free. Not risk free, mind you, but drama free. I'm also not advocating for getting rid of things like bubble baths and chocolate cake and wine because that would be bananas. But the core message of the article is important; taking care of yourself is important and it's not always Instagram beautiful. Sometimes it's messy and gross and sad. And that is 100% fine. Embrace it. Live it. Make smart life choices.

Arguably one of the smartest life choices I have ever made was my decision to begin watching Hallmark holiday movies way back in 2011. One of my earliest Island posts was from my first Thanksgiving in California where I spent a good portion of the weekend watching Hallmark and Lifetime movies. Hallmark holiday movies have been referenced many times over the years, including that time I wrote a movie for Hallmark called "The 12 Dates of Christmas." They've yet to contact me about making this happen. (Note: there is a Hallmark movie with this title BUT it's about a woman who experiences a Groundhog Day loop until she figures out life and stuff. My idea is better.) I can't help myself when it comes to these movies. Yes, they are formulaic and yes, they reinforce terrible gender stereotypes, but they're so filled with kindness and love and holiday magic that I have to watch them. I'm only human. As Monica Hesse put it in her recent article on the movies for The Washington Post:

"Watching Hallmark in December this year feels like a metaphor for all of the good citizenship questions we’ve been asking ourselves: Must we watch yet more CNN guests debate the tax bill? Must we have yet another fight on Facebook about Roy Moore? Must we always remain alert, in case the country just curls up and dies?" 

Monica is right; Hallmark movies are our reward for the dumpster fire that is 2017. For just under two hours, I can watch an impossibly perky woman with perfect hair and an amazing wardrobe (for someone who is either out of work or underpaid) deal with whatever career disaster/family drama/evil developer plot line she needs to deal with, while a blandly handsome leading man (I believe Hesse referred to them as an "Old Spice commercial") hangs out and wins her heart by being blandly handsome and non-threatening. Unless he's the evil developer or the evil developer's henchman; then he has to have a magical change of heart because of Christmas and love and cookies and kindness. For just under two hours, I can put my feminist killjoy heart to rest and simply bask in the Christmas lights and the sweetness that feels like what would happen if I only drank hot chocolate and ate candy all day. It's divine.

Do I like all of the movies? Absolutely not. There are some that I've tried watching and had to turn off about 10 minutes in because they were too much for me. Like all Hallmark holiday movie fans, I have very strong opinions about my Hallmark movies. For our final Lazy Movie Weekend of the year, let's dive into my best and worst lists for Hallmark and Lifetime movies. Grab some hot chocolate, your preferred Christmas cookies, and all the Christmas spirit you can muster along with your firm suspension of disbelief.

The Best - Movies

• The Nine Lives of Christmas - This is my favorite Hallmark movie ever. It stars Kimberly Sustad, the perpetual Hallmark movie best friend, as a vet student who falls in love with a firefighter played by the poor man's Superman, Brandon Routh. They bond over their love of cats, restoring old homes, and taco trucks.
• Christmas at Holly Lodge - Allison Sweeney is my favorite Hallmark holiday leading lady. She's also in my father's favorite Hallmark Mystery series about a small town baker. This movie was a delight, mostly because of Allison and Sheryl Lee Ralph. The bland leading man was on my favorite Law & Order universe spin-off, Conviction. He wears a V-neck sweater like the JC Penney catalogue model he is in his heart.
  
• The Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Henry Winkler is the meddling uncle! Brooke Burns is super tall and delightful. Warren Christie is not terrible as the love interest. The kid is a bit annoying, but I'll give him a pass because he meddles like a champ.
• Every Christmas Has a Story - Colin Ferguson! I love Colin Ferguson. He should be in every Hallmark holiday movie because he's not a bland leading man, although he comes very close to the line. Lori Loughlin is our leading lady and she's an absolute delight as a big city reporter who finds her Christmas spirit when she visits a small town after admitting on air that she hates Christmas. I feel you, Lori. Christmas is a lot to handle. Thank goodness you have Colin Ferguson there to help out.
• 12 Men of Christmas - This is actually a Lifetime movie. Because of this, it's a little spicier than the typical Hallmark fare. It's got Kristin Chenowith, Anna Chlumsky, and a bunch of super hot search and rescue guys who put together a calendar to raise money for their town. I only wish there was a musical number. 
• Christmas Connection - Y'all, Tom Everett Scott is in a Hallmark movie! Where has he been this whole time? He is the least bland leading man in a Hallmark movie ever. I love him and I love how charming this movie is. I imagine that this is what would have happened if Hallmark created the movie View from the Top, the only Gywneth Paltrow movie I like. 

The Worst - Movies

• Any movie starring Candace Cameron-Bure - I get it; people love CCB. Apparently, she's the "Queen of Christmas" or some such nonsense. I can't with this woman. She has said some pretty hateful things over the years, particularly regarding the LGBTQ community. Last year, she and our true Queen, Bianca Del Rio, got into a little conversation that was everything I love about Bianca and pop culture rolled into one Instagram post.
  
• Dear Santa - Another Lifetime movie so we do get a gay buddy for our leading lady, although he is so stereotypical it's painful. Amy Acker, from Angel, is the leading lady here and although she's charming and the kid is charming, it's a terrible movie. I want to love it, but I can't. At least the dad is sort of hot in a rugged, made for tv movie sort of way.
  
• December Bride - Regular readers may remember poor Jessica Lowndes from my Halloween post earlier this year. She just can't win in any genre. In this "gem," she plays a woman who pretends to be engaged to Daniel Lissing so she can go to her cousin's wedding and score a new job. Did I mention that her cousin stole her fiance and that's the wedding she's going to? There are so many terrible things in this movie. Listing them would take too much time. Just skip it. Watch The Nine Lives of Christmas twice. 
  
• Broadcasting Christmas - Normally I love Melissa Joan Hart, but not even she can save this one. I blame Dean Cain. He's the worst for lots of reasons, but he's at his worst here. My wish for Hallmark movies in 2018 is that she gets her own, Dean Cain-free movie.
• A Very Merry Mix-Up - There is something about Alicia Witt in this movie and all of the Hallmark holiday movies in which she stars, that annoys me in a profound way. I think it's her earnestness. She's trying so hard in every scene to make us believe whatever nonsense plot or relationship we're supposed to believe. In this one, she meets a man at an airport who she thinks is the brother of her fiance and ends up going home to the family she's supposed to be meeting...but it's the wrong family. Hilarity and feelings ensue. The best part of this movie is the fiance's actual family; they're just on the side of weird that is Hallmark acceptable.

The Best - Plot Points

• A snowball fight will inevitably take place. Everyone will throw perfectly formed snowballs because the prop department is awesome and the bland couple will somehow end up on the ground in an awkward, almost kiss moment.
• There will be a meddling old person. On occasion, the meddling old person is actually Santa Claus. It's best when it's a woman from a 70s or 80s sitcom. Or Henry Winkler.
• An adorable child may also be involved in the meddling. There is a fine line between adorable meddling child and annoying demon seed; these child actors walk that line in every scene.
• The boyfriend the leading lady has at the beginning of the movie will always be a pompous d-bag, although Hallmark would never, ever use that word. This makes it okay for us all to hate him and want her to magically fall in love with the bland leading man. 
• Hot chocolate will solve at least one problem. 
• A meet cute involving a pet, preferably a cat (see The Nine Lives of Christmas) will occur. 

The Worst - Plot Points

•  The leading characters' first kiss will take place with exactly two minutes left in the movie. They may have moments where a kiss almost occurs, but it's always interrupted. Even in movies where the couple is already together, married or dating, the pair seem more like roommates than a couple.
• Someone will lose their artistic way. Sometimes it's the leading lady, sometimes it's the bland leading man. At some point during the movie, they'll leave their corporate life and rediscover their true artist self. I die a little inside every time this happens.
• A lesson is learned. This is basically the core of every one of these movies. The lesson varies from work-life balance, embracing the Christmas spirit, and that home is better than anything in the world. I list this as a worst plot point because just one time it would be cool if no one learned anything and if Christmas was ruined or the town landmark didn't get saved. But then I'd hate that movie so really this is both the best and worst plot point of any of these movies.
• There are a limited number of people of color and any gay character is horribly stereotypical. Most of the time, the person of color is the best friend and she's sassy because STEREOTYPE. 
• You can only find happiness in a small town inhabited by quirky characters, including but not limited to a man who is possibly Santa. My father has, on many occasions, encouraged me to follow the path of many a Hallmark heroine and move to small town, open a bakery or weird, niche market store, and help solve crime, but I'm not sure I'm cut out for that life.
• Candace Cameron-Bure as a doctor. Nope. Nope. Nope.  
• Lacey Chabert in any holiday movie. I love her in Mean Girls, but she's the worst in these movies. I think it's that she comes off as weak in all of the holiday movies. She should stick to the non-holiday ones. I like two non-holiday Hallmark movies and she stars in one of them, All of My Heart. It could also be the goats. Do you think people on the set tell her that "you can't sit with us" or wonder about all the secrets in her hair? I'm curious.  

To all Hallmark holiday movie monsters I've helped to create, my parents included, you're welcome. You deserve every holiday movie you've watched and love. You earned it. Maybe consider spicing up your next viewing with this drinking game I found. Enjoy!

Drinking game image

Next week: It's the last post of 2017! To close the year of the dumpster fire, I thought we'd focus on my favorite f-word, which also happens to be Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year.

Lazy Movie Weekend: A Tale of Two Grinches

I admit wholeheartedly that I am a bit of grinch during the holidays. I'm the person who complains about Christmas stuff being out at stores too early and I have a very firm "no Christmas music before Thanksgiving" rule. Halloween and Thanksgiving are my two favorite holidays, followed by Groundhog Day, so I only want them to get the focus they deserve. Christmas has gotten to be too much in the last few years and I find the whole thing stressful. Shopping is the worst, traffic and parking always suck, and everyone seems to be competing for who can have the best Christmas ever. I'm totally cool with other people doing the things they love at Christmas, but don't try to make me into some elf just because you want to hang twinkle lights on November 1.

The one thing I truly love about the Christmas season is Christmas movies. Not just Hallmark movies, but all Christmas movies. Christmas movies warm my cold, holiday grinch heart. When I was a child, I looked forward to the first viewing of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (this blog is named after the Island of Misfit Toys featured in that movie) and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. These were tradition and I still watch them whenever they're on. As an adult, I've expanded my movie viewing to everything from Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story to classics like White Christmas and odd ball entries like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I even consider the early Die Hard movies Christmas movies. I will watch these movies over and over again and they still remain fun and magical and awesome.

Hands down, my favorite Christmas movie is the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas. It's based on the 1957 book of the same name by Dr. Seuss. The cartoon originally aired in 1966, featuring Boris Karloff as the narrator/voice of the Grinch. Thurl Ravenscroft sang the theme song and that is by far, one of my favorite parts of the cartoon. The Grinch hates Christmas and wants to show the Whos down in Whoville how their gross commercialization of the holiday is the worst thing ever. He hates all "the noise, noise, noise" and decides to steal Christmas. Remember, his heart is two sizes too small. He and his faithful sidekick, Max, descend on Whoville as Santa and his reindeer and steal all the physical trappings of the holiday, even the last can of Who-hash. Along the way, they meet Cindy Lou Who, a little girl who believes in the magic of Santa and the season. Of course, the Grinch eventually sees the error of his ways and he brings Christmas back to the Whos because Christmas isn't about presents, it's about friendship and love.

There are so many wonderful things in the original Grinch. Boris Karloff as the narrator is such a delight. As I got older and started watching old horror movies, I would always think of him in movies like The Mummy and Bride of Frankenstein whenever I watched the Grinch. I don't know if the Grinch was a gateway movie to Karloff horror movies for anyone else, but it certainly was for me. Dr. Seuss stories have so many layers; the Grinch is very much like Scrooge, and biographers have written that the Grinch was more autobiographical than other Seuss characters. There's Max, the dog/reindeer, who is not interested in the Grinch's plan to steal Christmas. Max is my favorite; the antlers and his enthusiasm for the sleigh ride are both so funny. The Whos are all of us, trying to create a festive holiday and make everyone happy. The story ends happily and we all feel the true spirit of Christmas. Honestly, I could watch this one all year long and never get tired of doing so.

When it was announced that Jim Carrey would be starring in a live action version of the story, I was cautiously optimistic. I like Jim Carery; he's a strange, strange man, but I've always enjoyed his movies. If you haven't seen Man on the Moon or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, check them out immediately. He's a gifted comedian, but can also play straight and serious. My concern about this version was how they would take a short children's story and make it into a feature length film. What would be lost of the original charm and delight of the story? Would Carrey mug too much as the Grinch? Would Ron Howard, the film's director, be too Ron Howard (that's a thing) in his telling of the story?

Honestly, my worries were unnecessary. Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) is delightful and weird and charming just as I wanted it to be. Carrey was made to play the Grinch; his grin is perfect, his physical presence is strong, and his delivery is the right mix of playful and mean and impish. The rest of the cast is equally entertaining: Bill Irwin and Molly Shannon play Cindy Lou's parents, Lou and Betty Lou Who, Christine Baransky plays a Martha May Whovier, and Jeffrey Tambor plays the mayor of Whoville, August Maywho. All of these characters are new to the story and are perfect. The writers expanded the action in Whoville and created an origin story for the Grinch. We get to see how the Grinch became the Grinch. Bill Irwin is my favorite; he's a great physical comedian and you can see he's having so much fun in this movie.

Taylor Momsen picks up the mantle as Cindy Lou Who. In this version, Cindy Lou has become suspect of the craziness of Christmas, from her mother trying to out decorate Martha May to the shopping and the pomp of the Whobilation, so she sets out to learn more about the Grinch and to befriend him in hopes that it will help her figure out her own existential Christmas dilemma. She interviews Martha May, who clearly had a thing for the Grinch, the mayor (a bully), and the old ladies who raised the Grinch before he left Whoville. She uncovers a story of bullying and not quite fitting in. She and Carrey have some fantastic scenes together. Her quest to get him to be the Holiday Cheer Master is so fun and touching. If you've ever felt like an outcast, you have a pal in the Grinch.  

What I didn't expect with this version is how adult it can be, especially if you watch the uncut version (which I own because it's amazing). It makes me think of watching animated movies as a child; my older brother and other relatives would laugh at things that I didn't think were funny because I was a child and those things weren't funny...yet. There's the holiday party going on the night the Grinch lands in Whoville, that may or may not be a little more risque than your typical Whoville party. There's Martha May's reaction to anything Grinch related. There are a lot of double entendres and occasional dirty jokes. A lot of the more off color jokes were improvised by Carrey; I read somewhere that he was upset with the amount of them that made it into the movie although he believed all of were age appropriate (the move is rated PG). Then there's the who plot line involving bullying and how an 8 year old Grinch went out to the mountains of Whoville and never came back. Why didn't they go look for him? Where his adoptive biddies too busy throwing key parties and knitting terrible sweaters to go look for him? It certainly seems that way.

The Grinch is all of us when it comes to the holidays. This is why these two movies are among my favorites. The scenes in the Grinch's lair with his answering machine and the sequence when he tries on clothes and then decides he's not going because he has nothing to wear? So good, so relatable. This movie speaks to the Grinch in everyone. Do yourself a favor and take a break from the holiday chaos with the Grinch.

"The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - and on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it. Four o'clock, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?"

-Jim Carrey as the Grinch

 

Images:

Original Grinch

Jim Carrey Grinch

Merry Christmas

Your Resident Single Friend Goes Speed Dating

"He's a sweet man and I hope he finds love...just not with me or you." 
-Emily reflecting on a speed date gentleman

I don't consider myself a particularly skilled dater. I didn't date in high school and we'll say my college dating was minimal, but fun and exciting in the way college romances are supposed to be (except the cheater, but I guess we all have one of those somewhere in our history). I know the kind of person I am and the pervasive hook up culture of my generation is not for me. Part of this is related to being a very strong introvert; we prefer deeper relationships, both romantically and with friends. The other part is that I seriously cannot deal with the game-like behavior that typically accompanies this sort of thing. I have zero time for that. 

While I've tried online dating with little success (or joy), I've never tried speed dating. The reference I have for speed dating is that scene in The 40-Year Old Virgin that is both horrifying and hilarious (video contains language and mature themes - you've been warned). The short version: in the space of an hour (usually), each attendee goes on 15-20 "dates," usually lasting 5-8 minutes in length. During that time, you talk with the person opposite of you (normally men rotate around the room) and are given a sheet for notes. After the event, the organization running speed dating provides attendees access to contact information for other attendees. And then you fall in love and live happily ever after...or something.

I'll admit that I didn't have the right perspective about speed dating. With limited data, I reduced it to an awkward evening of small talk with dudes who fall into two categories: the socially awkward and the smarmy. I don't really need more awkward in my life and smarmy dudes exist everywhere so having a concentration of them at one event seems unnecessary. So I avoided the idea of speed dating and continued living my life. However, as I don't want to die alone, I've made the decisions to put myself out in the world in situations where I may, in fact, meet a potential man-friend. In the new year, I'm planning on taking welding classes (mostly for art purposes) and some cooking classes, activities that appeal to a very broad section of humans.

I decided to include speed dating in this list of things I'm trying. I found a speed dating event via Goldstar, convinced my friend Emily to go with me, and set my expectation level to medium. I hope all of you have friends like Emily who will go do things like this with you even if they may not want to. Since this was a first time event for both of us, we really had no idea what to expect. How long would we have to talk with each person? How many people were actually involved? Would everyone be horrifying? How would we react if someone said something particularly awful? What if we did meet the man of our dreams? Was there a bar nearby? You know, the important things.

What occurred was well beyond my expectations, which were at medium so there was a lot of room for both success and failure. I met 15 men in the course of a little over an hour. The time was limited to five minutes and after the first couple of dates, it got easier. Of the 15, I would go out with three of the guys and want to be friends with three others. None of these guys were the physical type I go for (think Chief Hopper from Stranger Things), but they were funny, interesting to talk to for five minutes, polite, and not bad to look at. Interestingly, Emily had a similar experience with none of them being her physical type, but she connected with them because of their senses of humor and the fact that they seemed to be decent humans. We seemed to transcend the types we established for ourselves. This is a good thing.

Because I know you want to know, here are some highlights of the night. All dates have been given nicknames since I didn't mention there was going to be a blog:

• I walked into this event with a super positive attitude, combining the PMA of Bad Brains with my generally pleasant personality, my ability to be self-deprecating when needed, and the fact that I talk to people for a living. 
• At first, we thought we were going to be the youngest people in the group. The group definitely skewed older (mid-late 40s), but most of the guys I liked were around my age, younger or older by a few years. 
• Speed dating is an incredibly efficient way to date. While it has some of the same qualities as online dating, being in person and actually talking to someone makes it more palatable and fun. Rather than wasting hours swiping through profiles, I can spend an hour meeting 15 new people. One of the guys I would go out with framed it this way and I really like his perspective. 
• The majority of the women did not look like they were happy to be there. Apparently, Emily and I weren't the only friends who came together except we were the only two that had fun. Most of the women looked disinterested and only one of them would talk to us before things got started.  
• There were a few guys who came with friends as well. One pair met at a previous meet-up and became friends since they're both new to the area. Speed dating can be a gateway to speed friending.
• Some of the guys had prepared questions, either because this was not their first time speed dating or because they wanted to make sure they had something to ask. This was both endearing and a little jarring; I prepared nothing and was also not prepared for some of these questions. I really had to think about what the most romantic thing I'd ever done for someone (my response ended up being about baking an elaborate dessert for a guy's birthday which is less romantic and more about being a decent girlfriend but whatever). 
• The guys I liked and would go out with:
• Photographer Guy - what are the odds that one of the guys would work events at the museum where I'm a volunteer? We discussed art, expensive holiday parties, and Masons. He was also a very nice dresser.
• Drunk in Reston - Hands down my favorite guy of the evening. He made me laugh for three of the five minutes, with a discussion of why we decided to try speed dating and why there were so many first-timers in the group. We decided it was because they all found true love and never returned rather than to consider that it was crushing doom that kept them away. He may have been drunk; Emily and I couldn't be 100% on this.
• Alaska Guy - Just moved here from Alaska. We talked about travel, the eleven states I haven't been to, and his awkward first date of the evening who was definitely a regular speed dater and not in a fun way.
• The guys I'd want to befriend:
• Peach Pocket Square Guy: This gentleman (and I sincerely mean that) was the sharpest dressed of anyone present, male or female. He was one of the older guys and just the nicest person. I have zero romantic interest in him, but I would meet him for drinks and let him vet my dates. 
• Crushworthy - My second favorite guy of the night. He was one of the few that asked a creative opening question and opted to move his chair so we were seated next to one another rather than across from one another. That was a bold move. He and Emily would be well suited so I hope they connect. 
• Might Run Into Him at CVS Guy - He lives near where I work so it's very possible that I will run into him at the local CVS or various lunch places in the greater Herndon area. Nice guy, fun to talk to, but not someone I'd date. 
• The awkward/annoying:
• 3D Printer Guy - Yep, that's what he opened with. We were discussing our weekends and he went on and on about figuring out a new 3D printer. He also made a comment about one of the technologies used for it (which I didn't know), but the way he said it annoyed me. He also machine embroiders and scoffed at the fact that I hand embroider. He was boring and dismissive. 
• Ticket Scalper Guy - We spent the entire five minutes talking about music which would normally be a great topic for me. In that time, he dissed The Foo Fighters, Lady Gaga, and the 9:30 Club. I'm going to see The Foo Fighters in Memphis this coming May and I just saw Lady Gaga and the 9:30 Club is one of my favorite venues in the area. It was a lot of no for five minutes. He also shared that he never buys tickets in advance because he doesn't want to pay fees (which I get to some extent) so he just scalps tickets and hopes for the best. This annoys me.  
• Interview Guy - Speed dating does have an interview-like quality to it, but that doesn't mean it has to be like an interview. If you're a decent enough conversationalist, the questions turn into mini-conversations rather than rapid fire questions. This guy wasn't a great conversationalist so it did feel like an actual interview. 

What happens next? Personal information is shared via email with all attendees. This particular group uses an online portal, similar to what you'd use if you were part of a more traditional online dating site, to allow participants to connect with one another. The portal is open for two weeks after the event so I can log in and see if I have any mutual matches or messages. I can pick matches (which I've done) and message any of the guys whether I match with them or not. They only know I picked them if they pick me, but it doesn't limit the messaging feature. So the short answer is that I wait a few days to see if I match with anyone and then decide whether to message them or not.

I'm glad I went. I wasn't expecting love at first sight, but I also wasn't expecting it to be as much fun as it was. I enjoyed many of the brief conversations I had and I laughed a lot. Even the guys who were awkward or annoying weren't that terrible. I've had worse experiences online and at bars. These guys were tame, comparatively speaking. To paraphrase Emily, I want them to find love or whatever they're looking for just not with me or her. It was fun to do something really outside of my comfort zone. I'll keep you posted on what happens next.

Next on the Island: Lazy Movie Weekend Christmas Edition! Will it be the mildly inappropriate version of The Grinch starring Jim Carrey or a discussion of smiling is my favorite with Elf? You'll have to come back and find out.