My 40th Year on Earth: Get Off My Lawn

Recently, I was talking with a friend about a mutual acquaintance's propensity fro acting like an old man on Facebook. The most recent tirade was about the series finale of Game of Thrones. This person kept going on and on about how everyone was acting like spoiled children with their complaints and petitions for a new ending. I described the posts as the Facebook equivalent of shouting "get off my lawn" at the neighborhood children. We're waiting to see what the next moment will be; I'm betting on some type sports meltdown next. We shall see.

I've lived in apartments my entire adult life. I have no lawn to yell about, but after a recent event at my apartment complex, I have to wonder, can you yell at someone to get off your lawn if you don't have a lawn? I'm certain the answer is yes. As a habitual apartment dweller, I'm used to/have accepted certain realities about living in a community of strangers:

• Dog owners are terrible about picking up after their dogs...even when poo bags are provided for them.
• Apartments aren't soundproofed. People can be loud, but it eventually fades into the background.
• People who vacuum at 10 pm on a Tuesday are the devil.
• Mandatory fun events like community happy hours are ten times worse than mandatory fun events at work. 
• People leave weird shit in common areas for people to take.

None of these things really bother me. They may be annoying (I'm looking at you, upstairs neighbor who vacuums at 10 pm on Tuesdays), but none of them are in any way dangerous or cost me anything. I haven't had to call the police on any of my neighbors in about ten years. I lived next door to a hoarder once; she was perfectly nice, but not a menace (I never went in her apartment after the first visit). I lived next to a woman I like to call "loud sex girl." Again, sort of annoying, but sort what you expect in an apartment building. 

At my current apartment, I pay a large sum of money (because Northern Virginia) to live in a nice apartment with relatively quiet neighbors. I pay additional fees so that Keely can live with me and for a reserved parking space. The parking spot is currently worth $1200. I have to pay for the spot; it's not optional if I want to live in my building and have a car. I only park in my assigned spot and my guests only park in the guest spots on the top floor of the parking garage. We're respectful that way. If I remain in my apartment through the end of my lease, the spot will be worth about $2000. That's not a small amount of money.

Which is why I got so annoyed when I came home Saturday night and someone was parked in my spot. Of course, the office was closed so I didn't know what to do or who to contact about getting the car moved. I certainly wasn't going to knock on doors and look for the person. A calmer person would have just waited the person out and moved their car back to its spot. I was not that calmer person. I called the after hours number and they connected me to the emergency maintenance number. They put a ticket in for a tow truck and were pretty cool about the whole thing. It was my "get off my lawn" moment and I felt like a complete ass about it. I felt stupid. It wasn't an emergency and it wasn't anything important. It was just annoying.

I spend most of my life being enraged by the world we live in. To curb the rage, I volunteer, donate, protest, vote, and advocate so we can live in a better world. I'm a genuinely nice person. I put my cart back when I'm at the store. I should not be this annoyed by someone parking in my parking spot. If this isn't a first world problem, I don't know what is. There are so many more important things to be mad about. My annoyance is the behavior of a small, petty person. But I can't help being annoyed and angry. And I know why. The whole situation annoyed me for two very specific reasons:

1. The person who parked in my spot was visiting someone who lives in my building. Someone who knows that we have assigned parking spaces, and more than likely, pays for one. My neighbor didn't both to tell their friend where to park. They didn't respect the rules of our community. People talk about how disconnected this area is when it comes to apartment and condo complexes, and this is a perfect example. I'm more annoyed with my neighbor than the guy who parked in my spot. Be a better neighbor. 
2. I felt bad about calling the tow truck on the guy in my spot (and yes, it was a guy). After I made the call, I kept thinking about how much it would suck to come back to the spot and see my car gone and another car in its place. And then he'd have to call and figure out where his car got taken and probably pay a pretty big fee to get it released. I felt guilty and like a terrible person. I felt bad that this guy would have to through all that even though he was using a parking spot I pay for and inconveniencing me. 

The guy left before the tow truck arrived. I know it was a guy because I took my trash out around 10 pm and saw him driving away. Had I come out three minutes earlier, I could have confronted him. That would have solved nothing, and might have been dangerous for me. So I moved my car back to my spot, called the emergency maintenance line again, and cancelled the tow truck. I called again this morning because I got an email that the truck was on its way...over 12 hours later. The whole situation was stupid and accomplished nothing. 

I guess everyone has a "get off my lawn" moment. I was really hoping to delay mine until I A. actually have a lawn and B. am the old lady in the neighbor who says ridiculous things but everyone thinks is endearing and kooky. I'm too young to be the "get off my lawn" person in my apartment complex.