Not a creature was stirring, except my mom on Pinterest...

I feel like I've said this for the past two years, but has 2018 felt like three years jammed into one? It seems like it's never going to end. Maybe it's just me, but so much has happened in 2018 that I have trouble keeping it all in a timeline that makes sense. Thankfully, Dave Barry summarized the year perfectly in his annual Year in Review column in The Washington Post. I've been enjoying Barry's column since I was a teenager, and it never ceases to amaze me how spot on he is.

One important event Barry failed to mention in his column was, I think, an important milestone in social media usage: my mother began actively using Pinterest. This may not seem like a revolutionary moment to anyone else, but to me, this symbolizes the natural end point of my mother's technology/social media journey. Remember when she learned to use text messaging on her own? Now she uses emojis like a champ. And Facebook? Well, she's not really actively using her account anymore, but for a while there, she was good at posting articles and embarrassing birthday posts like every mom on Facebook. I've always been very proud of her use of social media since it's not something she likes or gets, but she tries, and that's the important part.

I'm not sure when my mom "discovered" Pinterest. It was before this year, but she didn't really do much with it until recently. If I had to guess, I'd say it was during the last two-ish years as she spent time in hospitals following a severe ankle break. There's only so much daytime television and political commentary a person can watch before they go crazy; my mom hit that point very early in her stay and had to divert her attention elsewhere. She, like everyone in my family, is an avid reader so she read a lot. Her Kindle is one of the newer ones that's basically a tablet so she was able to go online and add apps to it. I think this is when she found Pinterest. My mom discovering Pinterest could be the best or worst thing ever. There's really no middle ground here.

For my mom, Pinterest is really fun. She can find new recipes, something she loves to do, and ideas for holiday home decor that may or may not always work. Unlike me, my mom doesn't have the level of cynicism I have about Pinterest being a place where boring white women plan weddings in reclaimed barns using Mason jars. (I'm sure your wedding in a barn with Mason jars was beautiful, calm down.) Hopefully, we've past the point in time where this is a thing and we can go back to life as it was pre-reclaimed barn weddings. I've gotten a bit more into Pinterest since joining Stitch Fix and setting up a style board for my stylist. I'm sure she looks at this board before sending me my quarterly fix. Yes, I'm sure of it. I also enjoy looking at past Nyx purse designs for inspiration as I glitter everything in my life.

Anyway, a few weeks before Christmas, my mom texted me to start making holiday plans. She likes to start planning the menu for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day early in the month so we all have time to put in requests and change our minds a few times. In her text, she asked me if I had seen all the Grinch related food posts on Pinterest. I had no idea what she was talking about, so I quickly jumped over to Pinterest and searched for "Grinch recipes." There is an entire Pinterest world of Grinch themed food, crafts, and games to explore. We love the Grinch; he's my dad's favorite Christmas character. My mom thought it would be fun to have a Grinch themed meal during the holidays. We settled on Christmas Eve, our normal Christmas movie marathon day. Then, we had to decide what to make. We settled on the following:

• Grinch fruit kabobs
• Grinch punch
• Guacamole and homemade salsa (my mom used her own recipes for these)
• A Grinch shaped veggie tray
• A "roast beast" (we used a rub my dad makes and cooked it in the crockpot - it was easy and delicious) 
• Grinch popcorn (we didn't make this on Christmas Eve, but I believe it's in the works for New Year's Day)
• Brownies with Bailey's frosting (this has nothing to do with the Grinch, but was super delicious)

We exchanged a fair number of texts in the days leading up to Christmas Eve. Who knew there were so many options for making green popcorn and so many choices for punch (none of which included alcohol)? We had the fruit kabobs, punch, and guacamole for lunch and everything else for dinner/dessert (except the popcorn).

This one looks more like Napoleon, but is still pretty great.

Since most of these recipes are meant to be made by/with small children, nothing was particularly hard to do nor did any of it take very long. Between me, my mom, and my brother (drafted to help assemble kabobs and make punch), we had everything ready by lunchtime. We could start watching our favorite holiday movies and not have to worry much about dinner or snacks. That's a holiday win in my book. 

Hats off to my mom for bringing some whimsy and fun into our holiday celebrations! 

Happy New Year from the Island! If you're going out tomorrow, please remember to have an exit strategy like a DD, Uber/Lyft, or a place to stay if the party gets out of control. Make smart life choices!!

Coming in January: goals, goals, goals - what I plan to accomplish in 2019, the return of Answer Your Cat's Questions Day, including Keely's origin story, and an update on all things glitter purses! 2019 is going to be very sparkly.

Damn the Man, Save the Empire: Turning 40 Edition

I have a very honest face. I attribute this partially to the fact that I look younger than I am (thanks genetic magic from my parents). I'm also a nice person, genuinely interested in what people have to say. This combination often means people tell me things they might not normally tell people, especially if they don't know the person well. It also means I can't play poker. This is 100% irrelevant to today's post, but true.

Anyway, I can't say that I've ever been on the receiving end of any type of life-altering revelation because of my honest face. No one has ever admitted to committing a crime or something juicy. It's usually more along the lines of people admitting to hating their jobs or sharing they hide wine in the bathroom during family events so they can sneak away and drink in peace and quiet. Occasionally, someone hints at things like marital woes or the incredible loathing they feel for their next door neighbor who puts their Christmas lights up on November 1 (I agree this is annoying), but that's as scandalous as it ever gets. I'm fine with this. I have no desire to be the person who knows scandalous things.

Sometimes the random thing a person tells me makes me get a person a bit more or is so spot on about my own life I can't stop thinking about the thing they said. At work recently, a colleague made a comment that I'm still thinking about days later. The comment was about getting to a point in life where they no longer worked for "the man." It was a fascinating comment, especially given that this person is the someone who some might refer to as "the man." It was eye-opening and a little odd, but also really awesome.

I'm going to be 40 in 2019. I find this astounding on many levels because A. I still think of my parents as "adults" but am unclear if I am one and B. I still get excited when I get carded at the movies (which does occasionally happen) or when buying alcohol. There's a C too; I haven't done many of the things people who are about to turn 40 are supposed to have done, like buy property or get married. As organized as I am, I'm not a fan of societal timelines. When my colleague said the thing about having a deadline on working for the man, I had to hide my surprise and then squirreled the comment away for later.

I never really set out to do the job I have today. When I was little, I wanted to be a ballerina lawyer. I moved onto criminologist, historian (specially on weird things like cults and odd historical sites), and finally onto to my theatre work (both in front of house and in costuming). I didn't set out to teach or work in admissions, and I never sat down and thought, "I think employee learning is my dream job. I should do that." I've basically stumbled into my career and I'm totally fine with that. Stumbling into a career isn't unusual; someone has to be an artisan cheesemaker or a the person who wrote this book.  I'm good at what I do and enjoy it....most days. You know, like a normal person feels about their job.

So when my colleague made the comment about "the man," I started thinking about my own life and my own timeline of not wanting to work for "the man." What does not working for the man even mean? Does it mean not working for a corporate entity or larger organization? Does it mean being my own boss? Does it mean not having to work at all and money just magically appearing? Would I somehow become "the man" if I worked for myself? Do I have a timeline for this? How do I define "working for the man?" Does it matter if I like the work I do? Can I just go on doing this forever? I don't know I necessarily have the answer to any of these questions, but I can't help think of them in a somewhat obsessive fashion. Basically, my non-working hours consist of me thinking the following questions: why is Keely sometimes super affectionate and other times tries to eat my leg, how much glitter do I still need to buy to finish these purses, and what's my working for the man timeline?

I only have answers to the first two questions: he's a cat and cats are weird/adorable ninja murderers and to quote Mean Girls, "the limit does not exist." As I enter the fourth decade of my life (what an excellently epic thing to write), I believe this will be the question I need to answer.

Rounding out December: My mother discovers Pinterest and more on making the world sparkle, one glitter purse at a time. In January, we celebrate the 400th Island post and "Answer Your Cat's Questions" Day returns. 

Lazy Movie Weekend: Smiling is my favorite

Every family has their own unique holiday traditions. Maybe you ride out to the middle of nowhere to cut down a Christmas tree (please make sure you shake it really well before bringing it into the house to remove all the bugs that are living in the tree). Baking is a great holiday tradition - I love holiday baking! Maybe you're the kind of family who wears matching pajamas on Christmas morning or matching sweaters on Christmas day. I don't know your life, but I know that holiday traditions are important.
My family has Christmas traditions that span the mundane (we always have banana bread and citrus salad with maraschino cherries for breakfast on Christmas morning) to the exhausting (how many White House ornaments is too many White House ornaments?). We do a lot of baking, from cutout cookies that look like the Blues Brothers to incredibly involved holiday cakes. My dad always puts a toothbrush in our stockings (yes, I'm 39 and still get a stocking). We've never been traditional Christmas dinner people; we like to rotate countries for spice. If I had to pick my favorite holiday tradition, it would have to be our annual Christmas movie marathons. We've been doing this for years now, and it does not get old. I can watch these movies over and over again and never tire of them. As I've shared before, we keep to the classics for the most part, but typically add a new movie every now and then.

One of the best adds to the marathon also happens to be one of my favorite holiday movies, 2003's Elf. I consider it a grand accomplishment I was able to convince my brother, who doesn't like Will Ferrell, to add Elf to our rotation. He couldn't ignore the genius that is the movie. What is it about a giant man-elf that is so endearing and hilarious? Grab one of your favorite of the four food groups (candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup), and let's explore the magic of Elf.

1. Bob Newhart as Papa Elf, our narrator! Newhart is a national treasure. I'll fight anyone who disagrees. 
2. Ed Asner is the only person who should play Santa. It's like he was designed to play Santa. I think he's even been in a Hallmark movie as a meddling Santa. I love him. 
3. There are a ton of classic holiday movie references sprinkled throughout the movie, including the nod to stop-motion animation like that found in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I love the puffin and other fun animal friends; they should be in the movie more.
4. A question I've always had about this movie: did the orphanage look for Buddy? Did Santa let them know Buddy was at the North Pole? I mean, Papa Elf has a picture of Buddy's dad and seems to know a lot about him, so that makes me think Santa and the orphanage were in touch. Or they are the worst orphanage. 
5. Of course Papa Elf is in charge of Santa's sleigh. And of course, it used to run on holiday cheer. It make sense that the move to the turbine age had to happen; holiday cheer is hard to come by these days.
6. Y'all it's Ralphie! Yes, Ming-Ming is none other than Peter Billingsely, from the best Christmas movie of all time, A Christmas Story. "We all have special talents" is one of those quotes I think of when I spout off random movie trivia to people or explain the history of the historical markers of Virginia to my boss; we all have special talents. 
7. Shocker - Buddy is not an elf. No one saw this coming at all. 
8. Please enjoy this video of Leon Redbone (Leon the Snowman) singing "Frosty the Snowman" with Dr. John. 
9. Poor Buddy has to find out he's a human and that his human father is on the naughty list all at the same time. It's too much. 
10. "Does someone need a hug?" - step away from the trash panda, Buddy.
11. Apparently, several minor car accidents occurred while filming Buddy in the Lincoln Tunnel. I guess no one expects Will Farrell dressed as an elf in the Lincoln Tunnel.
12. Most of the scenes of Buddy experiencing New York for the first time were filmed with just Ferrell and director Jon Favreau paying people on the street to be in random scenes with Buddy.
13. The Empire State Building elevator scene! I used to do an exercise with new hires about elevator pitches and I'd always make a joke about Buddy. I told this joke to over 200 new people; I'm pretty sure only three of them laughed.
14.  Amy Sedaris! Another national treasure - she should be in every movie.
15. "What's a Christmas-gram?! I want one!" Buddy is one of the most quotable elves ever. 
16. James Caan as Buddy's dad could not be more perfect casting. It's awkward and odd and hilarious. Come for Will Ferrell, stay for James Caan.
17. "I just like to smile. Smiling's my favorite." Buddy somehow becomes a department store elf. Which leads to meeting Zoey Deschanel's Jovie, the manic pixie girl of this movie, a joke about The Santaland Diaries ("Did Crumpet put you up to this?"), and the most magical department store North Pole ever created. The Lite Brite welcome sign is my favorite.
18. James Caan's other son does a spot on impression of Caan. Michael is the best.
19. Buddy and Jovie sing "Baby, It's Cold Outside." The worst part of this scene is not the song (which is a little rape-y, but not that controversial), but that Buddy is randomly in the women's bathroom. 
20. Artie Lang as the Gimbel's Santa is so many shades of wrong, I don't know where to start. "You sit on a throne of lies!" "You smell like beef and cheese. You don't smell like Santa." The fight sequence was filmed in one take because it would take too long to rebuild the North Pole.
21. I'm pretty sure that paternity tests don't work the way they work in this movie. Can you get the results in an hour? That's not how this works. 
22. Also, where did Buddy's pajamas come from?
23. Buddy's breakfast - Ferrell really did eat that mess of sweet awfulness. He got sick on the first take and had to do it again.
24. Epic snowball fight! This snowball fight puts all Hallmark movie snowball fights to shame.
25. Buddy gets a date! And cuts down a tree in Central Park. Successful day.
26. Who knew the mail room could be so much fun?! "Syrup in coffee!" 
27. The cast keeps getting better: Andy Ritcher, Kyle from Tenacious D, Peter Dinklage. So much goodness in less than two hours. 
28. Buddy can't help himself upon meeting Dinklage's children's author character, Miles Finch. He calls Finch and elf which causes a fight and prompts Buddy to run away.
29. Are the Central Park Rangers a real thing? I feel like they should be. Santa crashes in the park, and it's up to Buddy and his family to help save the day.
30. Thankfully, Jovie shows up (just in time) to sing because as we all know, "the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."  Everyone starts to sing, the Claus-O-Meter goes off the charts and holiday cheer propels Santa on his way. It's like a Hallmark movie but with more cursing, kissing, and elf culture.

Christmas may not be my favorite holiday, but I love it a bit more once I watch Elf. 

Elf meme

What will the rest of December bring? Glitter purses and planning for my 40th year on Earth. It's going to be an exciting month!

You're Doing Everything Wrong: Glitter Edition

Glitter is one of the most reviled items in a craft store. I've seen parents direct children away from the glitter section of a Michaels with the kind of hatred in their eyes I reserve for spiders and people who don't turn their lights on when it's raining and dark out. I've heard glitter referred to as "the Herpes of the craft world" but also "the most magical thing ever." Apparently, you either like glitter or you don't. There can be no middle ground when it comes to glitter.

I don't really know that I spend a lot of time thinking about glitter. I don't have kids, so craft and school projects aren't things I think much about. My own creative projects are primarily embroidery focused or the occasional painting project. DMC, the embroidery thread I prefer, has a metallic thread that is a pain in the ass to use, but is the closest to glitter thread you can get. I've used it twice and hated my life the entire time I worked on those pieces. Sometimes, embroidery is a form of torture. (Side note: DMC released a new line called Etoile this year and it's actual glitter thread. I haven't tried it yet because it's expensive and you can only buy it online. This annoys me.) My makeup regiment doesn't include any glitter makeup, although I do occasionally opt for glitter nail polish on the rare occasions I get a manicure. I have no glitter purses or accessories. I live a fairly glitter free life.

Until September.

I was at a winery with my family and got a text from one of my very dear friends, Heather, that would change the course of glitter in my life. Heather and I met in college and were roommates, along with another wonderful human, Kelly. Like the true adults we are, we all live in different states and don't get to see each other very often. This is one of the things that sucks most about adulthood. Anyway, Heather was texting to see if I'd like to join the Mystic Krewe of Nyx, one of the all-female Mardi Gras krewes. She and Kelly joined this year. I didn't realize I could join, so I was planning to go to the parade to see them. When Heather texted me about joining the krewe, I immediately said yes, waited for the online application link, paid my dues, and officially became a member of the sisterhood.

And became very concerned with glitter.

Mardi Gras is one of those things that people know a little bit about (they throw beads and people flash or something), a lot about (New Orleanians/Louisianians know Mardi Gras is way more than beads, boobs, and Bourbon Street), or know absolutely nothing about. I've spent a lot of my adult life trying to explain New Orleans to people who have never experienced it, and I can honestly say, it's not worth explaining because you can't explain New Orleans. New Orleans is a place that has to be experienced, and Mardi Gras is one of the experiences a person should have while there. I remember my first Mardi Gras as a child; it was magical. The floats were beautiful and it the atmosphere of a parade is glorious. It's like the best parts of a block party and parade all mashed together. I think when you experience Mardi Gras as a child, it shapes the way you view it for the rest of your life. While I did my fair share of partying at Mardi Gras in college and after, my preferred Mardi Gras is one that involves hanging out with friends and enjoying the parades Uptown.

Mardi Gras krewes are the groups that put together each parade. Rex, Zulu, Endymion, and Bacchus are some of the more recognizable krewes, with long histories of parading. In the last few decades, krewes like Muses and Nyx have made their mark on Mardi Gras, being two of the largest krewes and being all-female. During a parade, krewe members toss throws from floats. Each krewe has a mix of traditional throws (beads, cups, doubloons) and signature items, unique to that group. These signature items are coveted by parade-goers and can lead to some pretty competitive parade watching. My mom caught (or was handed) a Zulu coconut during our last Mardi Gras before we moved to Virginia. We still have it.

Nyx is known for its glitter purses. Krewe members spend the lead up to the parade hand crafting these purses to throw to very lucky fans along the route. There's even a Nyx purse tracker on Facebook. If you're a Pinterest fan, search for Nyx purses and enjoy wasting away your day looking at the beautiful creations of years past. As a member, I'm now responsible for creating glitter purses to throw in my first Mardi Gras parade. I've become a glitter hoarder.

After joining the krewe and purchasing my standard throws, I began searching online for video tutorials on making glitter purses. There are several different techniques, ranging from glue and pour to painting glitter on the purse (mixture of glue and glitter) to using glitter paper and glitter spray paint. You can buy pre-glittered purses, but I feel like for my first time, I need to fully embrace the glitter purse experience and do as much of it myself as I can. Kelly and I did a virtual purse party back in October (since we're not in New Orleans, we aren't able to join our float group for actual purse parties) and discussed techniques and tried things out while on Skype together. It was a lot of fun.

I currently have 6 different forms of glitter in my house at this exact moment. This includes:

• 17 individual loose glitters in various colors
• 3 glitter glues
• 5 glitter paints
• glitter foam
• glitter letters and shapes
• glitter embroidery thread

Since a few of my purses have a waxy coating that doesn't come off, I'll also be investing in glitter spray paint, because why not? Additionally, I have jars of sequins, multiple types of trim, feathers, three types of glue, and paint. I've been working on my purses since October and have finally finished one completely. The others are in various states of started: some have been glittered, trim elements have been made, and some have been designed but not actually started. I'm still in the gathering phase for at least one of the purses (I'm looking for a very specific item for it). I decided to name my purses to better keep track of each one. I'm toying with the idea of including a little card in each that tells the recipient the name. I don't know if that's allowed, but I really want to do it.

In spending time on these purses, I've discovered a few things. I miss New Orleans something awful, and being part of this krewe brings me back to a place that I love. I wasn't born in Louisiana, but I grew up there and I went to college there. It's the place I feel most connected to in my life and being part of something so quintessentially New Orleans is exactly what I need right now. Kelly and Heather are like sisters to me, and sharing this experience with them is going to be amazing and a wonderful start to a new decade of my life. I'm looking forward to meeting more of our Nyx sisters and experiencing this with them. I wish I lived closer so I could take part in other krewe events, like supporting our charities and coronation. Maybe next year I'll make the trip for coronation. 

I also really like glitter. I was skeptical about this part of the purses, but it's so much fun. Designing and figuring our how to bring each one to life is a big part of my new found love of glitter. Taking a plain purse and making it sparkle is wonderfully satisfying. I liken it to the magic of making marshmallows; it's something I didn't know I needed, but it's exactly what I need. It's impossible to be in a bad mood when making a glitter purse or creating some sort of sequin-based element to add to a glitter purse. It's not nearly as messy as I thought it would be (or I'm super neat and careful). Keely hasn't gotten into any of the glitter I have spilled, but he did inspect the purses before I got started. Nyx fans, these purses are Keely approved. 

I'm looking forward to riding in my first parade. If you're in New Orleans or its vicinity, come see me and 3000+ other ladies as Nyx rolls on February 27. We follow the traditional Uptown route. I'll share more from my Mardi Gras adventures as we get closer to the date. 

For now, I fully intend to embrace the fact that I was doing everything wrong when it came to glitter. Glitter is not a craft item to be feared. It should be embraced, although carefully, with craft or wax paper protecting the table and a vacuum at the ready. To paraphrase the Blue Oyster Cult, don't fear the glitter.

Your Resident Single Friend: Bow Ties for Cats

There's a scene in the sort of biopic Bohemian Rhapsody that I love as much as I love the concert scenes and any scene involving the band being musical geniuses (which is basically why you should go see the movie - it's not the best biography of Mercury if that's what you're looking for). Freddie (Rami Malek) is showing Queen's drummer, Roger Taylor (Ben Hardy) around his new home. You can feel the pride and excitement coming from Freddie about every little thing he loves about his new home. However, it's clear that the best part of the house, the thing he is most excited about is the fact that his 10 cats each have their own room. This scene made my cat mom heart so very happy.

Mercury loved cats. Mary Austin, his girlfriend and long-time love, is the one who introduced Freddie to cats when they moved in with one another. Later on, he would add eight more cats to the mix and doted on them like children. He called them while away on tour, made sure they had stockings on Christmas, and lavished them all with attention. I've always loved Freddie Mercury, but knowing his affection for cats made me adore him. Cats make sense for a creative soul like Freddie Mercury. There's something about cats, their mystery, aloofness, and weird behavior, that makes them the perfect companion for artists.

If you'd like to buy me a present, I'd take this shirt or the mug version because I love cats, Freddie Mercury, and puns. 

Obviously, I don't have "Freddie Mercury in the heyday of Queen" kind of money, so buying a house that would allow for Keely to have his own room is not really an option. Money aside, what's charmingly eccentric on a male rock star, is seen as sadly depressing on a single woman approaching 40. People suck.

So while I'm not investing in real estate for Keely, beyond the pillow I bought him that he loves, I have done something that I think will drive home just how special he is. Let's pause for a moment to bask in Keely's handsomeness...

What a dapper gentleman! Everyone comments on how handsome he is and I think he knows it. Look at that face! That is the face of a cat who jumps on the counter even though he's not supposed to and gets away with it (because I lack a certain discipline gene). You know what would make this dapper cat even more dapper?

Bow ties.

I bought my cat holiday themed bow ties. Yes, I am that cat mom. As of today, we have a Thanksgiving bow tie, since Thanksgiving is our most elegant holiday, and a Christmas bow tie because it's our most festive holiday. Remember kids, you can find just about anything on Etsy if you look.

Now you're probably asking yourself, "Erin, is Keely really going to wear a bow tie on his collar? He barely lets you pet without careful consideration on the amount of time you've pet him and the location of said pets (ears, under the chin, occasionally on his belly)? Why would he wear a bow tie?"

I hear you. Keely is a special little dude. In our five months together, he has caused enough damage to my left leg that a person viewing my injuries might assume I'm committing some sort of self-harm. Conversely, he's also cuddled with me, provided countless hours of wondering whether I have a ghost in my apartment (he stares at certain spots in the apartment in a way that makes me believe something is there), and has put up with my incessant need to document every cute moment and his handsomeness. I remember the joy I felt the first time he jumped on my lap, unprompted, and napped for an hour. When he did the next day for two hours, it was the best. He picked me! I might not be his real mom, but I'm his human!

Do I think he will wear the bow tie on his collar? Yes, I know he will because I'm the one who will be putting it on him and he will wear it. Do I think he will like it? Absolutely not. He's a cat. Cats hate everything. But he will wear each bow tie for at least a few photos to appease me. I have earned bow tie photos.

The past five months have been an interesting experience in learning how to be cat mom again. I'm guessing I'm still on some sliding scale when it comes to trust with Keely. I don't know what his life was like before I adopted him. His first family definitely overfed him, and from the limited information the shelter had, it sounds like they wanted a lap cat and got Keely instead. He was in the shelter for a little over a month, not a long time for a shelter animal but enough time to be overlooked by many because he was an overweight, older (1.5 years) cat among a sea of kittens. Five months isn't a long time, not really. I have to patient with him and he needs to realize that mommy isn't for biting. I get to be his adoring human and he gets to be a cat.

A cat who wears bow ties.

This is what happened when I showed him the Thanksgiving bow tie. That face!

Voting is my superpower

I've been struggling with how to approach my annual "go vote" post. Normally, I try to make voting fun and talk about all the good things you experience when you practice being a good citizen. Take a friend to the polls! You get a sticker for adulting! Support your local PTA and buy a donut (my polling place is in an elementary school, so there's always a bake sale). I've shared my own personal account of voting for Hillary Clinton in 2016; it was such a great feeling until I woke up the next day and realized everyone is the worst.

Neither of these approaches feel appropriate right now. In the last two weeks, fifteen people have been murdered because of hate, hate which our "president" stokes every time he opens his mouth. Bombs were sent to public officials and private citizens who disagree with the 45 or who have spoken out against his administration. Multiple activists in Ferguson, MO have died in the last several months under suspicious circumstances, including a possible lynching. People are more concerned that young men (young, white men, let's be specific) are at risk of being accused of sexual assault or rape than the fact that 1 in 3 women will be assaulted in her lifetime. Who have we become that these are the realities of 2018?

I'm not naive. I, like so many other people, know none of this just happened because Trump got elected. Racism, misogyny, homophobia, tranphobia, religious hatred aren't new, but they seem to be more pervasive today than they have been in the last several decades. We're supposed to be a country where differences, politically, socially, religiously, etc., etc., make us stronger, more interesting, more accepting, more revolutionary. The problem is that we've let the small-minded opinions and beliefs of a faction within this country take over. We've let the hatred of a very small man, who will say anything to remain in power, cloud who we are as a nation.

So, I'm torn on what to say this week as we near a very important midterm election. I know I'm not going to change anyone's mind if they are set to vote for a candidate who has been endorsed by the 45 or his party. Chances are you're voting for that person because he or she believes in an issue in the same way you do. They're "pro-life," until the baby is born and then they cut funding for vital services that might help that child like public schools, healthcare services, and free school lunches. Or maybe they believe in gun rights even when those rights put guns right into the hands of domestic abusers and domestic terrorists, who use those guns to kill people who they hate. You vote for them even when they use the language of Nazis and hatemongers. You don't use that language, but you support someone who does. You say you're not racist or sexist or Islamaphoic or homophobic. I hate to be the one to tell you, but when you vote for candidates who are, even if you say you aren't those things, you are. When you support a racist candidate, you're supporting racism. When you support a homophobic or transphobic candidate, even if you support LGBTQ rights, you are supporting hate. When you support a pro-life candidate, you are saying that women don't deserve agency over their own bodies. When you support the confirmation of a man who has been accused of sexual assault, you are saying his life is more important that the accuser's. You are supporting the very things that are causing division and what is fundamentally wrong with this country.

But I'm not going to change your mind. A few weeks ago, I went to see playwright Eve Ensler and author Anne Lamott discuss their new books and the state of things in this world. Ensler is one of my favorite playwrights and has been a tireless activist in the campaign to end violence against women and girls. During the talk, moderator Jacki Lyden, asked Ensler a question about the open letter she wrote to white women supporting the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh. If you haven't read it, take a few minutes to check it out on the Time website. In the letter, Ensler doesn't spend time discussing all the reasons women shouldn't support Kavanaugh. She knows, like me, that it's hard to change someone's opinion when they're set on a belief. Instead, she spends the time sharing her own feelings and experiences with abuse. She was abused by her father, and her mother never helped her. Her mother "sacrificed" her own daughter so that she could be safe within her marriage. This is what so many of you, particularly white conservative voters, are willing to do to continue supporting the Republican party. You're sacrificing your children, your grandchildren, the Earth, and democracy as it is in this country for your version of safety.

I'm not going to tell you not to vote - you should vote. It's your right and responsibility as a participant in this crazy thing we call American democracy. But what I will tell you to do is to take some time to think long and hard before you cast that ballot. Ask yourself if you can live out the rest of your life knowing you voted to send our country 50+ years back. Ask yourself if you can live with yourself when your children and grandchildren are left to clean up the dumpster fire you helped to create. Ask yourself what democracy actually looks like, because I can tell you, it's not the world the 45 and his cronies are interested in creating.

When I vote on Tuesday, I'll be thinking about all of these things. I'll also be thinking about:

• Maurice Stallard
• Vickie Lee Jones
• Daniel Stein
• Joyce Feinberg
• Richard Gottfried
• Rose Mallinger
• Jerry Rabinowitz
• Cecil Rosenthal
• David Rosenthal
• Bernice Simon
• Sylvan Simon
• Melvin Wax
• Irving Younger
• Nancy Van Vessem
• Maura Binkley
• Danye Jones

They, like too many before them, didn't have to die. They were what democracy looks like - people living their lives, practicing their faith, and fighting on behalf of others. I want to live in a world where we can truly do these things, and not in one where we live in fear no matter where we go. I vote because they can't. I vote for candidates who don't support the rhetoric of hate. 

 

Lazy Movie Weekend: Late Night Double Feature Picture Show

Fall has finally come to the wilds of Northern Virginia, so it's time to put on my unintentional Freddy Krueger sweater, eat way too many mellowcreme pumpkins, and settle in for evenings with my favorite Halloween movies. While I do love scary movies, my favorite Halloween movies tend to fall into one of three categories: scary comedies, creature features, and creepy movies. Creepy movies usually fall into the ghost story/psychological horror category rather than including things like psycho killers or possessed dolls. Give me a House on Haunted Hill or The Others over a Saw any day of the week. Granted, I enjoy all of the classic slasher movies, but stopped watching the countless remakes and the torture porn genre that came to popularity in the early 2000s. Not my thing, but by all means, go watch people be sewn together as a human centipede or cut their legs off to get out of Jigsaw's torture chamber. You do you when it comes to scary movies.

Scary comedies are probably my favorite of the three, since I don't feel the need to sleep with the lights on or watch cartoons after watching a scary comedy. Movies like Shaun of the Dead, Haunted Honeymoon, most of what's shown on Freeform during 31 Days of Halloween (yes, it's 31 days now because they understand that Halloween is superior to Christmas), and the entire Ghostbusters franchise are all part of this category. Most of these movies aren't that scary, but every now and then, there's a little spooky element to keep the audience on their toes. I also happen to love old school creature features like the ones Universal released in the 1930s and 1940s; The Wolf Man, Frankenstein, The Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula, and the original, non-Tom Cruise version of The Mummy are some of the best horror movies ever.

When I was younger, I was fearless about horror movies in a way that I'm not today. This is how I came to watch The Exorcist in my early teens, alone in the dark paneled basement of our townhouse in Burke. I'd watch anything once, and then be terrified later. In the mid-late 1990s, stations like USA, TBS, and WGN played midnight movies and local cable access stations still did a Saturday afternoon movie. It was usually a creature movie, from the 1950s or 1960s, so I saw my fill of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and all of The Toxic Avenger movies. It's also through these shows that I was introduced to movie hosts like Morgus (in New Orleans only), Joe Bob Briggs, and the greatest of all time, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. They'd show movies, do commentary, and make fun of the terrible special effects, overacting, and thin plot lines of every movie. They also knew their horror, so I'd get recommendations for other things to watch, some of which I like (old school Vincent Price movies) and some of which I didn't (gore fests by some of the great Italian horror directors).

It also helps that my brother is horror fan too. It's from him that I get my love of Stephen King books and (most) movies. He tormented me with Freddy Krueger when we were younger, but that's part of the job of being a big brother. He'll go see horror movies with me if my friends don't want to, and loves a good zombie movie. As much as I have him to thank for my love all creepy, I know that I have wildly different tastes from him on a lot of these movies. He's not as big into classic horror as I am, and doesn't understand my love of cheesy sci-fi movies of the 1950s. I'll forgive him for that since he's the only person I can text during episodes of American Horror Story with ridiculous questions like "Why does the antichrist have to be a creepy Vampire Lestat/Willy Wonka/Glee club member reject? Why can't he just wear a hoodie and look like a normal person?" and he'll answer me honestly.

Anyway, for my first official Halloween post of October, I thought I'd return to my love of scary-ish comedies and revisit two movies from my childhood that I will love forever and will fight anyone who thinks they're terrible. I haven't really watched either of these movies as an adult and definitely never had anything to drink while watching either, so I thought instead of doing a complete breakdown of each movie, I'd watch them with a little wine and the eyes of an adult (since apparently I am one). So, grab your wine of choice, some popcorn, and maybe some mellowcreme pumpkins and join me for The Monster Squad (1987) and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988).

The Monster Squad was called a lot of things when it was released in 1987, but a great movie was not one of them. Often compared to the more successful Goonies (the mom is the same in both movies, which is funny), The Monster Squad is, at its heart, an homage to the great Universal creature features of the 1930s. The big five villains, Dracula, Wolf Man, the Mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Frankenstein's Monster, show up in a modern suburban town to find an amulet and bring about the end of the world. They don't anticipate the Monster Squad, a group of preteen monster movie fans who figure out the plan, and try to put a stop to Dracula's nefarious plan. Released a year later, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark is the type of movie Elvira would have watched on her show. She plays a version of herself, a horror hostess who wants to open a show on Vegas (Cassandra Peterson, the actress behind Elvira, was a Vegas showgirl in her early career). A long-lost great aunt dies and leaves Elvira her house, dog, and recipe book in Falwell, MA. She drives her custom Macabre Mobile (her badass Elvira car) to claim her inheritance and discovers she's actually the descendant of a powerful witch and has to use her powers to save the world from evil great uncle who wants to become an all-powerful being and rule the world.

Basically, these are two versions of the same movie. I've never watched them back to back before, so it wasn't until I planned my double feature that I realized the similarities within the plots. Most 80s movies were about a ragtag group of people trying to save the day, so it's not surprising that these two would share a similar plot. Obviously, they achieve their grand finales in very different ways and with very different stories along the way. Neither were particularly well-received at the box office, but both are huge cult favorites. There's a documentary out about The Monster Squad called Wolfman's Got Nards (which was almost the title of this post), focusing on the fandom of the movie (I haven't seen it yet, but it's supposed to be great). Elvira is a huge draw on the horror con circuit and is genuinely one of the nicest celebrities I follow on Twitter. She even had her own spectacular at Knottsberry Farm

What I love about these movies is how ridiculous they are, but how wonderfully connected to old school horror movies they are. There's nothing hipster-y or modern about either movie and this is exactly why I watch them. I feel like a kid again when I watch them, minus the dark paneled basement. That's Halloween to me: a little scary, a little silly, and always fun.

Happy Halloween! Pleasant Nightmares (as Elvira would say)!

Lazy Movie Weekend: Exile in Guyville

Last week, I put my old lady tendencies aside and stayed up (and out of my apartment) past 9 pm on a weeknight. Our one true queen, Liz Phair, was playing at the 9:30 Club and I couldn't miss the show for a little old thing like a good night's sleep. That would be very un-rock and roll of me.

Phair's debut album Exile in Guyville turned 25 this year. Us 90s girls remember that album, and revel in the experience of listening to it on repeat. For those not familiar with the album (shame on you), Phair has described it as a song for song response to The Rolling Stones' album Exile on Main Street (although not everyone gets that). At its heart, Guyville is about the female voice in the very male dominated 90s indie rock scene. Phair wrote songs that put her in the front rather than on the sidelines of the scene, as so many of her male counterparts wanted. She didn't play the entire album, but did include songs like "Mesmerizing," "Fuck & Run," "Stratford-On-Guy," and "Divorce Song."

When I arrived at the 9:30 Club, I was immediately struck by how many white dudes in polo shirts of a certain age (older than me, but not old) were at the show. I imagine that these were the guys in Phair's Guyville, who have grown up and are now investment bankers or accountants. I texted a friend pre-show, and she wondered if maybe they thought "Guyville" was something else. This is entirely possible. It was just one of those odd occurrences at a show where the audience ends up being made of people who are unexpected.

Seeing Liz Phair this past week, while also working my way through all four versions of the move A Star Is Born, created an interesting counterpoint to what's been going on since I rage-blogged last week. There may not be a direct parallel between Exile in Guyville and A Star Is Born, but in my brain, I can see it very distinctly. At the center of all five experiences, is a woman trying to navigate a male space while also being female.

Each version of A Star Is Born (1937, 1954, 1976, and 2018) has a similar plot: a young woman comes is working her way into the movie business (1937, 1954) or the music business (1976, 2018). She works as a waitress, sings commercials, or at drag shows (one of my favorite parts of the new version). An older, established actor/musician "discovers" her at a bar/as a waitress/at a charity fundraiser and falls in love with her, while also helping her career. She becomes a star, and his career takes a downward turn. This isn't because of her rise to fame, but because he's an alcoholic/drug addict and entirely unreliable, so no one wants to hire him. She falls in love with him anyway, and they marry secretly. Along the way, he completely embarrasses her when she wins an award (Oscar or Grammy, depending on the movie), and eventually goes to rehab. Of course, the story doesn't ever end happily, despite everyone's best efforts.

While each version has this shared plot DNA, they're distinct given the time period in which they were filmed and the lead actors. The 1937 version is an early talking picture. Its stars, Janet Gaynor and Fredric March, were silent film actors who successfully transitioned to talkies (not all actors did). Both is and the 1954 version have that "Golden Age of Hollywood" vibe, but also give viewers a look at how awful the studio system is/was and how actors were basically properties of the studios they worked for in every aspect of their lives. The 1954 version was all about Judy Garland; it's so much about her character that James Mason feels a bit like an afterthought as the male lead (although he's great when on screen). 1976 brought us Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson in the leads, and moves the movie to the music industry. Like Garland, this movie was about revamping Streisand's image (PS - this didn't really work out that way). The newest version stars Lady Gaga, in her first lead role, and Bradley Cooper directing his first feature. Both wrote songs for the film and sing live in the film. This is one of my favorite parts of the new version.

Central to each version is the oldest plot line of movies: a woman trying to save a "broken" man. I went to see this movie with my friend, Emily, and she made the comment that watching this movie as an adult is very different than watching it as a teenager (whichever version you watched). Back then, we were caught up in the epic love story, the fairy tale of being discovered and falling in love with the discoverer. We missed the message. Norman/Norman/John/Jackson all warn Esther/Ally about them as bad choices, but the ladies dive in anyway. It's only when the guy promises to change his ways that the girl says yes to marrying him. Love is that powerful an emotion that they go against their better judgement. Even the producer character in each version knows this is probably going to end up terribly, but they don't stop it. True love can't be stopped, and these ladies are making a choice. I can't say it's necessarily a bad choice, but it's a choice. At the end, of course, Norman/Norman/John/Jackson make a choice too. We can debate their choice forever, but it's also a choice.

 In traditional Lazy Movie Weekend fashion, here are some things I love/hate about all four versions:

• Dorothy Park and Joan Didion have screen writing credits for the 1937 and 1976 versions respectively.
• The hats in the '37 version are a thing of beauty - come for the movie, stay for the hats.
• "Do you mind if I take one more look?" Norman Maine says this in the first version to Esther; there's a variation of the line in the three subsequent films. It's adorable and very sad.
• 1937 Esther and Norman have swans on their property. Swans! Rich people, man, rich people.
• In each version there's a moment when Esther's name (as Vicki Lester in the first two versions), covers up Norman/Norman/John/Jackson that is a symbol of his downfall. 
• "Tragedy is the test of courage." Esther's granny at the end of 1937.
• Judy Garland wears tights as pants in the 1954 version. Seriously, tights as pants.
• Even if you don't want to watch the 1954 version, watch the part where Judy Garland sings "The Man That Got Away." It guts me every time I watch this version. 
• The studio cut a significant amount of the movie from the final version and burned the footage for some reason. The film was digitally restored with film stills and audio for those parts. I would recommend watching an un-restored version the first time you watch this one. It's less choppy.
• "I'm sober as a judge." Too soon, Norman Maine, too soon. 
• The Oscars scene in this version is so painful to watch. It's hard to imagine why Esther stays after this. 
• I'm not entirely sure Kris Kristofferson knew that his shirts had buttons all the way up. There isn't a scene in the 1976 version that doesn't include most of his chest. 
• Barbra Streisand used her own clothes in the movie, which I love more than anything.
• Originally, Elvis was in consideration for the John Norman role, as well Neil Diamond. Col. Tom Parker wouldn't let Elvis be in the film because no one asked Parker first. Elvis died the year after the film was released.
• SPOILER: the 1976 version is the only one where the character's death is ambiguous. The producer for the film was uncomfortable with suicide as a plot line. 
• Blink and you'll miss Freddy Krueger, Robert Englund, as an uncredited patron in a bar.
• "Evergreen" won Streisand an Oscar and is probably the only part of the 1976 version that critics and fans can actually agree on as a good thing. 
• Shangela and Willam, drag performers who both appeared on seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race, are in the new version. I love them and I love that they're here.
• Bradley Cooper does have a weird voice thing going on in this movie, but I think it's because he's trying to sound like Sam Elliott and/or to show how hard drinking and drug use can ruin your voice.
• Concert footage was filmed at festivals like Coachella and Glastonbury, some of which when Lady Gaga was performing during the festival.
• The film opens with Lady Gaga singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" which is a lovely tribute to Judy Garland.
• Lady Gaga is amazing and I would legitimately 
• Jackson's "I'd like to take one more look at you" is not only the latest version of the line, but also a reference to "With One More Look At You" from the 1976 version. 
• That's Bradly Cooper's actual dog, Charlie. So adorable.
• The 2018 version is the only version where Norman/Norman/John/Jackson is disappointed in Esther/Ally because she turns her back on being a singer to be a pop star. He's not jealous of her success, but feels like she sold out and isn't being true to herself as a performer. This makes me appreciate Jackson in a way I don't appreciate the other three men. He wanted her to be the best Ally, not a version a producer told her to be.

I love the new version, but the 1954 version will always be my favorite. I'm sure this is because it was the first version I saw and because I love Judy Garland. But the new version is a very close second. Go see it as soon as you can, and then watch some of the older versions. My ranking: 1954, 2018, 1937, and 1976.

As I watched Ally and Jackson's story unfold, I couldn't help but think of two Liz Phair songs: "Mesmerizing" and "Divorce Song," arguably one of the saddest songs on Exile in Guyville. The song is about a couple on a road trip and how one moment, the woman wanting her own room because they've been in a car together all day, spins out of control and resentments come out and they both say things they may or may not mean. There's no real ending to the song, as there is an ending to Ally and Jackson's story, but it still has that same sadness that I associate with the plot of A Star Is Born. And like Phair in "Mesmerizing", Esther/Ally keep falling back into the same story. Maybe that's why every few decades we get a new A Star Is Born.

I love the song "Shallow" from the new A Star Is Born. If you're not going to see the movie, just watch this video:

Coming soon: Another Lazy Movie Weekend featuring my favorite teen monster movie, I join a Mardi Gras krewe and decorate purses to throw, and we discuss voting and being a good citizen...again.

I could throw an axe

This is the first election season since I turned 17 that I haven't actively worked on a campaign. It hasn't always been a state or national campaign, but I've always done something. In 2016, I canvassed, I phone banked, I wrote letters, I donated, I registered people to vote, I greeted people at the polls. I did everything I could to help elect the first woman to the White House...except commit treason and get in bed with a dictator (literally or figuratively). After the election, I gave myself a few weeks, and then I dusted off my canvassing shoes and went to work to elect Ralph Northam governor of Virginia. I felt better when he won; not great, but better. Ralph's a good dude. He's good governor.

And then the 2018 midterms began to loom. And the calls and texts from the Kaine campaign started. And I didn't answer any of them. Not because I don't believe in Tim Kaine (I do; I'll be there voting for him in November), but because I couldn't face another round of being abused by people I don't know. Do you know how many times I was called a cunt when I phone banked for Clinton? I'm pretty sure none of them were talking about my charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. A little old lady in Southwestern Virginia told me she hoped I burned in hell for supporting "that traitorous bitch." I did what I was trained to do and said "thank you" and hung up. I thanked her for telling me to burn in hell.

Because that's what women do. We say thank you to people who insult us and don't believe us and question our choices when all we're doing is living our lives and trying to exist in this world. We apologize for taking up space and telling our stories.

I know that I'm not alone in being a cone of rage following this week's absolute circus/dumpster fire/ shit show of hearings in the confirmation proceedings for Brett Kavanaugh. I watched it all and have been experiencing a range of emotions since that move from sadness to rage to blinding rage to disappointment to anger to sadness to laughing because it seems like a better idea than crying and back to blinding rage. Christie Blasey Ford spent four hours telling her story to the entire world. It's a story she shouldn't have had to have broadcast on every news station and live tweeted. She should have been granted the decency of an investigation, not a trial masquerading as a hearing. I cannot imagine what she's going through right now. Women are fucking warriors.

I've had a lot of thoughts running around in my brain about these proceedings, and I'm going to share a few with you today. Rage blogging isn't something I do often, but writing this made me feel better. Not not rage-ful, but better. Strong language ahead, so please do your best impression of a Republican member of the Judiciary Committee, and feign horror that someone raised in a nice family could use such language.

• How is it possible that eleven elected officials, all male, couldn't ask Dr. Ford a direct question, let alone look her in the eye? They had to hire a woman to ask their questions for them. If you're a constituent of one of these clowns, you need to take a hard look at yourself and ask if you want someone who can't actually do their job to continue holding office. And if you say, "that's not right," get yourself to the polls when they're up for reelection and vote them the fuck out of office.
• Conversely, how much restraint do you think it took those same eleven men to not jump over the table to bro hug Kavanaugh the second he walked in the room? They practically fell over themselves apologizing to that fucker and acting like his life is ruined. Give me a fucking break.
• Dr. Ford fulfilled her civic duty in a way no one should ever have to. She even thanked the committee and apologized. Her courage can't be understated, but I was so mad for her when she thanked them. I wanted to tell her, "You don't have to thank them. You don't have to be polite." But that is who she is and I respect her for being herself. 
• Not all heroes wear capes: Senators Kamala Harris, Amy Klobuchar, and Mazie Hirono deserve medals. Sen. Klobuchar is 100% correct in her assessment that Kavanaugh would have thrown her out of his court if she had behaved as he did during his testimony. 
• Rachel Mitchell knew that she was in charge of an absolute shit show and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She showed at least some humanity at the end of Dr. Ford's testimony. I think she believes Dr. Ford. I have no proof of this, but there was something about the way she conducted herself that makes me believe she believed Dr. Ford. 
• If Brett Kavanaugh was trying to convince people that he's the right person to fill a position on the highest court in the land, a court that is supposed to be apolitical and nonpartisan, he probably should have scaled back on the vindictive language. All I saw was someone who looked angry and ready to lose his shit when challenged. Oh wait, he did that. 
• And men say women are emotional and shouldn't be positions of power like White House. Please, every pundit on Fox News, tell me that one again while talking about your boy here. 
• To all of the Republican/conservative women saying that boys/men rape/assault/grope women and it's perfectly normal: I'm going to need you to shut the fuck up. It is not normal. I've been alive almost 40 years and I have never in my life said, "Gee, I should rape/assault/grope that guy over there. That's a great idea." Not once. Because it is not normal behavior. Stop telling your sons and daughters this is how life works.
• There's a popular quote going around now that is so true it hurts: Brock Turners grow up to be Brett Kavanaughs and Brett Kavanaughs make the rules for Brock Turners. 
• Brett Kavanaugh is a man who has never been held accountable for anything in his entire life. I grew up with assholes like him in high school in NOVA and went to college with bigger assholes like him in New Orleans. Wealthy, white dudes with no real responsibilities and no one telling them that they don't always get to win. They hide behind "boys will be boys" until someone calls them out on their bullshit, and even then they still get away with so much. Rape culture exists and this is part of it.
• Jeff Flake is not a hero. He doesn't get to say he'll vote to confirm and then call for an investigation because he knows they don't have the votes. He knows what's going on is wrong and it's eating him up inside. Frankly, suffer. Suffer with that guilt forever. You could have done better before this week, but you didn't. You are not a hero. 
• When does the 30 minutes women are allowed to not have to worry about the futures of the men in this world actually take place? Women are told to report assault and rape, while also being told that coming forward will ruin some man's life. When they don't come forward for decades and then do, they're also told they're responsible for ruining some man's life. I mean, for the love of the goddess, when do women just get to take care of their own lives? You know what men can do? Not rape and assault women (and men). Maybe we should focus on raising children who understand that NOT raping and assaulting people is the way one should live their life. Maybe those who do commit those crimes can be held accountable for their actions and not get away with it. And if they're about to be named for lifetime appointment, maybe, just maybe we should investigate allegations against them so we know that we are in fact, placing the right person in that position instead of someone who committed sexual assault.
•  Lindsey Graham is a worthless human being. I try to find the good in people, but he deserves nothing positive from me. He's up for reelection in 2021; I hope the good people of South Carolina get rid of him. PS - If it's acceptable to ask me why I'm still single and also tell me to smile more, than Lindsey Graham can also be asked why he's still single and told to smile more. Don't like Lindsey? Too fucking bad. 
• No one's life is over because they don't get to be on the Supreme Court. Seriously. If, by some miracle, Kavanaugh is not confirmed, his life will go on. He will be fine. He doesn't deserve to be fine, but he will be. 
• I believe Dr. Ford. I believe her. I believe her. I believe her. #BelieveSurvivors

I was driving to work yesterday morning and two cars veered into my lane at two different points along 66, each coming super close to hitting me. I don't know if they intended to get over or what because neither driver bothered to use a blinker. I'm so angry about what's going on that my reaction was to follow the next driver who didn't use a blinker to wherever they were going and take a tire iron to their windshield. That's how angry I am. I want to destroy property and be awful to someone I don't know. The kicker is this: I'd go to jail while Brett Kavanaugh will probably end up on the Supreme Court. I'd be held accountable for my behavior and he'd get a lifetime appointment to make decisions that will impact generations.

Christine Blasey Ford, Ana Maria Archila, and Maria Gallagher: thank you for being you. You deserve so much better than this. We all deserve so much better than this.

DC Days/The Detroit Project: Take Me Out to the Ballgame

I'm probably one of the few people who thinks about musicals when I'm at a baseball game. I blame the Baltimore Orioles; ever since someone used "Corner of the Sky" from the musical Pippin as walk up music, I can't help myself. I love walk up music, but I seriously question most players' choices. Whoever used "Corner of the Sky" was my kind of baseball guy.

Anyway, the song that most comes to mind these days when I go to a baseball game is "You Gotta Have a Gimmick" from Gypsy. I don't think I've been to a baseball in the last decade that didn't have some sort of give away or gimmick as part of the day. Most of the give aways are things like bobble heads, Star Wars themed items (every team seems to have a Star Wars day), and team branded Hawaiian shirts. You know, stuff you definitely need around your house. I have an assortment of Washington Nationals items including a team Russian nesting doll, a gnome (but not the Jayson Werth one), and an unfortunate poster of the team as the Rat Pack which I promptly threw away. I get the give aways; baseball tickets are expensive and attendance at games has been stagnant for years. Give aways and gimmicks are ways to get people in the gate. I get it.

I've attended quite a number of theme nights and give away nights and most of the time, they're pretty fun. I went to my first ever Caturday earlier this summer and I went to Yoga at the Outfield a few years ago. Star Wars Day is always a blast; the cosplay is always a treat. Some of the themed days seem pretty targeted at one particular demographic: women who may like baseball, but really like stuff women like, such as yoga, cats, and knitting. It's similar to the days when most of the team gear for women was pink and sparkly because ladies like pink and sparkly things. Women are a demographic and a bunch of white dudes sit in a room and decide what to sell to us. They go for the easiest thing: pink stuff. Theme nights sometimes feel a little like pink jerseys: a little silly, kind of unnecessarily, but usually fun in the end.

The latest theme game I attended was this past Sunday's Stitch N Pitch day. It's the perfect event for me: I can watch my favorite sport, embroider for a few hours, and hang out with other stitchers. I didn't know about Stitch N Pitch until this season; I don't know if the Nats have done one before, but the Seattle Mariners have had a similar event for fourteen years. I love this blogger's take on the Mariners' event. I feel bad that she experienced some negative comments, but overall it sounds like a great day of baseball and knitting. And the start: every baseball, does in fact, start with a ball of yarn.

I love sewing in public. It's one of those things that seems both innocent and subversive at the same time. Knitting, crochet, quilting, embroidery, needlework have always been in the realm of the female and the home. A lot of women artists use textiles in both traditional and unconventional ways in their art, and these types of art forms find popularity all the time. I've been embroidering steadily for over 10 years, and I love the fact that so many people are into sewing and other fabric arts. The times I've embroidered in public have mostly been non-events; sometimes people ask me questions about what I'm doing, but for the most part, no one really notices. I've only had one negative experience and it wasn't even that bad. The guy was being a jerk, I told him so, he moved on.

So I was looking forward to Stitch N Pitch because it brings together two things I really enjoy: baseball and embroidery. I even decided on a baseball themed project, the first part of my Detroit Project, Tiger Stadium. The idea of doing something like embroidery at a baseball game appeals to my feminist heart. Giving makers a very public place to create, even better! Best day ever!

I'm sure that the weather was part of the problem; it rained all day (playable rain, but still rain), so attendance was low. When I got to my seat there was a group of crocheters in the section next to mine. They invited me to join them and be part of their colorful yarn tribe. Anita and her mom where joining me, so I declined. They were really the only other group I saw, so it was a little disappointing. I wanted it to feel like a fun community of makers and it was a bit of a letdown. I still had fun with Anita and her mom because they're the best, and I got a good start on my Tiger Stadium project, but Stitch N Pitch was a bit of a bust.

Maybe next year, Nationals...in more ways than one. 

The Detroit Project, Part One: Erin Has a Vision, Part Two

NBC's crafting competition show, Making It, recently completed its first season. The show, in the great tradition of The Great British Baking Show, is an incredibly polite competition show, pitting crafters, craft bloggers, and interior decorators against one another. Patches are awarded to the winning crafter in each round, and they get to hang out with Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman. They all seem to really like one another and help one another out. Despite being a long-form commercial for Etsy, the show was fun to watch and was both calming, because everyone was so darn nice to one another, and inspiring. I want my own makers shed! I want to make really fun light fixtures out of reclaimed wood and my imagination! I want Nick Offerman to think I'm creative! Be my friend, Amy Poehler!

Since last summer, I've been on a creative journey of sorts, finding inspiration from my friends in our monthly Wine & Crafts gatherings, working on a craftivist project, and experimenting with random materials like using cassette tape ribbon in place of embroidery thread. I've always enjoying making things, and the more ambitious the project the better. I enjoy a challenge; that's why I made a purse out of Legos and occasionally make my own gummy bears. Figuring stuff out is half the fun of creative projects. At its heart creativity is problem-solving. I do love to problem solve.

Once I started working with the cassette tape, I started to think about more ways to broaden my project scope. I love a lot of the irreverent, political, and feminist patterns out there today, but I wanted to start creating my own patterns. If a random person on Etsy can do it, I'm pretty certain I can too. I've started small, with patterns for badges and key chains. And I was slightly more ambitious with my Ziggy Stardust inspired piece for my aunt. Lettering is a pain in the ass, especially when you use cassette tape ribbon for cursive script. Regardless, these smaller projects were the starting point to something grander.

My family is from Detroit. Both of my parents were born and raised in the city. They probably would have stayed in Michigan had my father not joined the Army. We moved from Dearborn, a suburb of Detroit, when I was four years old. I'm the only member of my immediate family who didn't grow up in Michigan. My brother went back for college, and lived in the apartment upstairs from the house our mother grew up in. For me, Detroit has always been a place I love fiercely, but have no real context for beyond the houses my parents grew up in (which my grandparents lived in until their deaths), my aunt's house in Corktown, Tiger Stadium, houses of relatives outside of the city that I recall from visits, and landmarks that are significant to us, but may not be to others (Lafayette Coney Island, Belle Isle, Dearborn Music, original location, and Pewabic Pottery).

I started to wonder what I could to create to explore my love of Detroit, my family history in the city, and discover a sense of home. That's another thing I think about often: where is home? I grew up all over the US, spending most of my time in New Orleans and Northern Virginia, two places that could not be more different from one another. At one point in my life, I considered New Orleans home, and to some degree, still feel very deeply connected to the city. I've never considered any part of Northern Virginia home, except for the fact that my family lives here. For me, I don't see NOVA as the place I'll live forever. Actually, that idea horrifies me a little bit since all I can think of is an endless loop of driving on 66 and hating everyone. This is not to say I don't have delightful childhood/teenage memories of NOVA and enjoy my adult existence here (to some degree), but it's not home.

I also want a big project to take up my time. What could be bigger than depicting the city of your birth? (Okay, okay, I was born in Southfield, MI, but you get my point.) With my Detroit Project, I want to tell the story of my family in Detroit via the places that were and are significant to us. The plan is to include landmarks as well, places that people need to know about and shaped the city of Detroit. I don't know what all of those places are yet, but I'll figure it out as I go. And yes, I'm aware that other artists already depict cities, but that's fine. My interpretation is not their interpretation. That's the fun of art.

So that's the idea, but now it's all about how to accomplish this whole thing. I identified a few places to start:

• My parents' childhood homes
• Tiger Stadium
• My aunt's house
• The Detroit Skyline
• the train station (Ford Motors has recently bought the station and is restoring it)
• Holy Redeemer Church (where my parents went to high school)
• Lafayette Coney Island
• Hamtramck Disney Land

I want to design each pattern myself. I've been baby-stepping my way to drawing patterns, using some of the set design knowledge from my college days to help me figure out basic shapes and that I can, in fact, make lines work together to form shapes and buildings. I bought a pattern from Etsy recently so I can practice buildings (yes, it's Detroit-themed). I need to visit to take photos so I'm working from my own images. I also plan to go through all the photos in my parents' basement to see if there's anything I can use there too. My brother took a few photos of places for me on his recent visit; the houses both do and don't look the same.  

I've decided to start with Tiger Stadium and make something for my brother. Tiger Stadium will always be my favorite baseball stadium. It was torn down years ago, and the space is now a community baseball field (which is great to see). When we were kids, we'd sit in the bleacher seats to watch games and do the Chicken Dance at some point in the game. I have a lot of fond memories of that stadium and my brother has even more (he worked there when he was in college too). Next week, I'm attending Stitch & Pitch at Nats Park here in DC, a random attempt to get crafters to come watch baseball. I have no idea if this is going to work. I'm basing the design on the original blueprints of the stadium and incorporating a few additional elements to enhance the vintage feel.

Next week, I'll share the process for creating the pattern and what it's like to embroider at a baseball game. That's a sentence I never thought I'd write, but here we are. Over the course of the next year, I'll share various projects from the Detroit Project, as well as unveiling my Badass Herstory project contribution. Here's hoping I can pull this off and make some cool pieces about a city I love very much.

Next week: We adventure to Nationals Park to experience Stitch & Pitch. I'll share my Detroit Tigers themed piece for my brother, and we'll discuss whether or not embroidering at a baseball game is a good idea.