There's no end to this quest, just another chapter

This time last year I was contemplating what 2013 would bring and hoping that this year would be a good one. I was also thinking about personal growth and how I would tackle my 34th year on this planet. I settled on being the leading lady of my own life. Eventually, I selected a few key ways I thought I could quantify this quest. Throughout the year, I've chronicled my progress on these items along with my musings on movies, music, and how we're all doing everything wrong. As the year draws to a close, I can honestly say that I feel less like the best friend and more in charge of my leading lady life. I did a lot of what I set out to do: try new things, bring new people into my life and spend time with those already there, be more adventurous in fashion, and travel somewhere I've always wanted to go. My year looked something like this:

• I wrote a novel in a month (November). Now I know that I can write a novel and now I can go back and edit this one and start on the next idea (which will not be written in a month and will require heavy research and maybe a visit or two to Detroit).
• Traveled to Paris (alone) for a birthday champagne toast at the summit of the Eiffel Tower. I did other things too but seriously this was pretty cool and definitely a highlight of my year. 
• Designed and created my first Lego purse. I had so much fun with this and will return to the world of Lego purse creation in 2014. I have several that I'm designing right now and hopefully will have them done by the end of January. Who knows where this will lead?
• Became an information desk volunteer at the National of Women in the Arts. You should come visit. 
• Wrote 66 Island posts this year (including this one). 
• Made some new friends, joined an album club, and went out more than I probably have since college. That's pretty good for an introvert like me.
• Shopped my closet, found a pair of boots I love, and added skirts and dresses into the rotation so I don't wear jeans every day of my life.
• Read 50 books this year. The national average is 4. And I took November off.
• Convinced several senior leaders to participate in a contest where one of them would have to dress as Santa and another as an elf. For the children (for charity). Shocked when most of them came through and it was a successful event overall. 
• Gave a short presentation on this blog at a work event that was very well received. This was the highlight of my professional accomplishments this year.

That's a lot of stuff. What's been most revelatory for me is that I focused on what I wanted to do and accomplish and not so much on what others might expect or want me to do. That's a change for me; I'm a natural counselor in the sense that I'm usually most concerned for others and what they're doing and how their actions impact their lives. And how I can help. That's why I was so good at being the best friend. What I discovered this year is that you can be both the leading lady of your own life while still being the best friend in others' lives. You don't have to sacrifice one to be the other. Like everything in life, it's about balance, focusing on what you want, and telling people the truth.

People often lament leaving a certain time in their lives. I read a lot of articles this year in which the author discussed his/her desire to relive their twenties and I can honestly say I don't want to go back. I'm more confident and interesting in my thirties and I'll probably be even more awesome in my forties and fifties and beyond. It has taken me 34 years to be good with the person that I am and this year has been particularly helpful in that journey. I am not perfect and I don't have to be. It's not easy to say that but it's true. Leading ladies aren't perfect - that's just something the movies has made us believe.

The quest doesn't end because the calendar does. I just move to the next chapter. A new year is all about possibilities. I don't have to have it figured out to know that it's going to be a great year and I'm going to do some amazing things. I just know. And knowing is half the battle (as G.I. Joe tells us). 

Thanks for visiting the Island in 2013. I hope that you'll come back in 2014. Lots of good things are coming your way: my love letter to Treme and New Orleans, a post about waffles, some more Lazy Movie Weekends, we'll make it to the 200th post, and I'll make my annual attempt to answer Pumpkin's questions on Answer Your Cat's Questions Day. It's going to be an exciting 2014 here on the Island!

Happy New Year from the Island! 

Make smart life choices - have a DD or take a taxi if you're out partying like it's 1999.

Lazy Movie Weekend: The Garland Family Christmas Eve/Day Movie Marathon

I love hanging out with my family. Some people find that odd but we're generally a pretty fun and entertaining bunch. My two favorite family activities occur during this time of the year: Christmas cookie baking and the annual Christmas Eve/Day Movie Marathon.

When I was little, we always watched the classic Christmas specials on tv: Rudolph (inspired this blog by the way), Frosty, Charlie Brown, and my favorite, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Boris Karloff's narration is outstanding and the animation is just so 1966 it's not even funny. But it's a great telling of one of my favorite Dr. Seuss stories. Max will always be my favorite part of the story. I had Max in mind when I was looking for reindeer antlers for Pumpkin this holiday; I thought she'd look adorable but also sort of Max-like since she's so tiny. Alas, no antlers for Pumpkin (and now she won't kill me in my sleep).

I think these annual viewings were probably the start of our movie marathons (and probably a way my parents kept us occupied while they were getting stuff done and you know, being Santa and all). Over the years, the lineup has changed but the spirit of the movie marathon remains the same. These are the movies we can all watch hundreds of times (and agree on) and they just get better each time.

Without further ado, the Garland Family Christmas Movie Marathon:

1.  How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) - the original and the best. In addition to Boris and my love of Max, isn't Thurl Ravenscroft's singing of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" absolutely marvelous? Thurl Ravenscroft is probably best known as the voice of Tony the Tiger. I like that Dr. Seuss was heavily involved in the film and he wrote the lyrics to all of the sounds. We own this on both VHS and DVD and still watch it on VHS most of the time.
2. A Christmas Story (1983) - This was probably the first movie we added as my brother and I got older. I would like to visit the house that was used for exterior scenes; a fan bought it off of eBay and restored it to look exactly like it did in the movie. That's devotion. He doesn't just watch this one every year like we do; he lives the movie.
3. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) - Can you believe it's been 20 years since this movie was released? I saw a 20th anniversary edition at Target today and was shocked. My brother and I both like the oddness of this movie and enjoy that it's just a bit macabre while still being holiday themed. I love it when Sally jumps from the window and sews herself together. The songs are wonderfully clever and haunting and there are all these interesting touches throughout. Of course, the amazing voice talent makes it even better (Paul Reubens is Lock y'all).
4. Christmas Vacation (1989) - I'm not saying my dad is Clark Griswald but he has Clark Griswald tendencies (but only from this movie). This is probably my dad's least favorite movie on the list and that's probably why. He'll watch it but only because the rest of us are and that's the kind of dad my dad is. I truly believe this is Randy Quaid's finest film.
5. The Santa Clause (1994), The Santa Clause 2 (2002), and The Santa Clause 3 (2006) - These would be my dad's favorite movies on the list (although we all agree that the third film should not have been made). Tim Allen is pretty great as Scott Calvin/Santa Claus and the supporting cast is hilarious particularly David Krumholz as Bernad the Elf (he's what's missing in the third installment). And Judge Reinhold! These movies are just fun and easy to watch. We finally replaced our VHS copy of the first movie. I've always found the dialogue between Santa and Judy a little troubling but it's still charming. 
6. Elf (2003) - My brother doesn't care for Will Ferrell but I convinced him to give Elf a try because it's hilarious. There are just so many things to love about this movie: James Caan, Ed Asner as Santa, Buddy's enthusiasm, Zooey Deschanel's singing, Bob Newhart, smiling is my favorite. The list just goes on and on. There are only three Christmas movies I will watch throughout the year and this is one of them. It's charming. Also, there's a David Sedaris reference in the movie that I find amusing. I think there should be a sequel and it should involve South Pole elves.
7. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) - I know a lot of people don't like this version of the Grinch because it's so different from the story and the original film. However, it's really well done and incorporates the original text and elements from the both the story and the cartoon really well. If you watch this movie on ABC Family (as I am doing as I type this sentence), it's actually different from the theatrical release. There's even more to the story in version shown on tv and that makes it even better. Molly Shannon and Christine Baranski's decorating competition gets more play which is awesome because they're underused in the theatrical version (Betty Lou wins but the Mayor cheats) and there's more to the Grinch's back story. The only thing I don't love about this version is that it's a little less kid friendly. I get it, Ron Howard, you can't make a movie with Jim Carrey and have it be G rated but there are some things (like some of the Marth May storyline) that are a bit much for a holiday movie.
8. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) - My mom added this movie to the marathon a few years ago. I think she bought it as a joke present for my brother. Anyway, we watched it for the first time two years ago (I think) and it's exactly what you would expect from a martian themed Christmas movie from 1964. The best thing about this movie is that it was on an episode of MST3K. It's the perfect movie for Joel and the bots to watch. This also means we can add our own MST3K style commentary to it (which we do). It's just really odd - you really should just watch it to get the full effect. We skipped this one last year so I'm thinking we either need to bring it back or replace it with a new movie (see my suggestions below). 

         

While I don't want to lose any of our classic lineup, I do think we should consider adding to or swapping out a movie or two this year. Maybe we need to make some movies every other Christmas movies to make room for new editions. My suggestions for new movies include:

• The Ref
• The Holiday
• Love Actually
• Home Alone 2 
• The Last Holiday 
• A Charlie Brown Christmas 
• Die Hard

I know, I know The Last Holiday isn't technically a Christmas movie but it's a holiday-ish movie and I love Queen Latifah so it gets to be on the list. I'm sure there are tons of other movies we could add; maybe one day we'll see them all

Happy Holidays from the Island! I'll be back next week to wrap up 2013, the leading lady quest, and see what's on the horizon for 2014.

Grinch image
MST3K image

At least I have Pumpkin...

Well kids, December is almost over. Can you believe it? In sixteen days it will be 2014 - crazy. Everyone always says they don't know where the time went but I can honestly say that is true this year. It feels like the year flew by. I'm guessing it's due to being busy and having a social life for a change. Time flies when you're not watching Hallmark movies on your couch.

Around this time last year, I was formulating my goals for 2013 since I don't make resolutions since they are, in fact, for chumps. Some might argue that a goal and a resolution are the same thing. Those people are crazy and annoying. Goals have moving parts and can be broken down so that you actually can accomplish what you plan to do. Resolutions always seem more like ultimatums - "I resolve not to do something" (or to do something) doesn't make me jump out of my chair to do it. I've always felt like there's a lot of judgement and pressure on a person when they resolve to do or not do something. As I explained last year, resolutions carry a certain amount of guilt with them. I prefer to keep my guilt limited to the times my mom brings up not going to church and when I tell people at work that something works that way by design.

Anyway, with just sixteen days left in the year it's probably a good time to check in on how I'm doing on this year's goal: to be the leading lady of my own life. The goal is based loosely on the character of Iris in the movie The Holiday. I'm not Iris but I have a lot of Iris tendencies: pining (artistically of course), self-deprecating behavior, thoughtfulness, a propensity for wearing comfy sweaters, and I live alone with a pet (she has a dog, I have a cat). I'm not English, don't wear blazers or accessorize as well as Iris, and have not discovered my Miles yet. I also don't have an elderly gentleman as a friend and motivator as Iris does. We all need an Arthur in our lives.

My last checkpoint was back in July. I did make a minor adjustment to my original list of ways I would achieve my goal and replaced taking a class with completely National Novel Writing Month. I did that so the only thing left to really focus on is dating. Yep, I left the most challenging item on my list to the very end. And frankly, I'm not really sure that I'm going to achieve this one anyway. I don't consider myself very good at dating. I didn't date pretty much at all in high school and very minimally in college and beyond. Occasionally when I discuss this with friends, I feel like I missed out on things in my younger years. Their dating stories are so colorful and interesting; mine are less although sometimes entertaining.

I have tried to be better at dating. When I turned 30, I tried online dating as a way to kick start a new decade of my life. I went on several terrible first dates and one that seemed promising but didn't go anywhere after a few more dates. Best moment of my online dating experience: running into one of the bad dates at a DC Rollergirls match while with my parents. This was the guy who didn't like his family and was amazed that I enjoyed spending time with mine. Yeah, that one wasn't going to work out at all.

I think that part of my problem is that I'm your typical introvert. I'm fine with doing things by myself (going to the movies alone is my favorite). I tend to let silences happen. I'm fine once I know you but I'm terrible at small talk and asking questions so I'm sure I'm not at my best on first dates. I also tend to ramble and I have a lot of odd interests so who know what people think. This is probably just me making excuses. Because of my introversion, I don't do things like talk to guys at bars or locations that would be perfect for "meet cutes."

Since embarking on this leading lady quest, I have done my best to up my fashion game (and done so successfully), be more social and spontaneous (getting better at both), I finished a 50,000 word novel in one month, and I went to Paris by myself. The long and short of it is that I feel like a leading lady so I should not let the fact that I am probably not going to fulfill this one part of my list bother me so much. Things happen when they are supposed to happen. Or something.

If all else fails, at least I have Pumpkin.

Lazy Movie Weekend: Kate Winslet is my spirit animal

Happy Holidays! I hope that everyone had a nice Thanksgiving and survived the frenzy of Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Valium Wednesday. That last one may or may not be a real thing - I don't know your life. I have been unusually excited to start the holiday season. I'm not normally a fan of decorating but this year I have, for the first time since probably junior high, been excited about putting up a tree. Granted I didn't put up an actual tree but made a book tree instead. I think it turned out quite nice; thanks to Emily for the idea.

The most important part of the holiday season is, of course, holiday movies. You probably thought I was going to say cookies or spending time with family or something more spiritual. This is not that blog (although I enjoy spending time with my family, baking cookies, and I enjoy church on Christmas). I've been watching Hallmark holiday movies for the last month (good background noise for my NaNoWriMo writing) but am finally ready to dive into the real deal holiday movies. We haven't had a Lazy Movie Weekend in awhile. What better way to bring it back than with one of the most underrated holiday movies, The Holiday.

Like all of my LMW entries, I love this movie. The Holiday was actually the inspiration for my leading lady quest this year. Here's the short version of the plot: Iris (Kate Winslet) and Amanda (Cameron Diaz) are both having mini-crises. Iris has just found out that guy she's in love with is engaged and Amanda's Type A personality has driven away her boyfriend and made her a compulsive workaholic. They do what any normal women would do when faced with these types of life issues: they swap houses for the holidays. Amanda goes to London and Iris to L.A. Amanda meets Jude Law; Iris meets Jack Black and Eli Wallach. People fall in love, hilarity ensues, and they have an awesome New Year's Eve party.

Let's discuss The Holiday in all its awesome, awkward, and lovely glory.

1. I really love the score. Hans Zimmer is the composer and for a movie that focuses on the movies (Amanda is a movie trailer designer, Ethan and Miles are film composers, Arthur was a screenwriter), it has a lovely score. It's characteristic of the film and the characters. 
2. Iris's opening monologue which includes this line, "I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives." 
3. Another favorite from her monologue, "Those of us who fall in love alone." Unrequited love was never described so perfectly.
4. Jasper is terrible. There's the whole "let's exchange presents but I don't have yours" thing and the engagement he didn't warn her about. And poor Iris's face when she finds out. Someone should punch him in the throat.
5. I LOVE Iris's house. It looks cozy. And Surrey looks like Christmas.
6. I also hate Ethan. It's possible that I have a hard time separating Ed Burns from Ethan since I don't care for Ed Burns either. "You just don't want to be what I need." And I don't need a no-good cheater. Peace out Ethan, and here's a punch in the face. You go, Cameron Diaz.
7. I wish Kathryn Hahn and John Krasinski were in the movie more but then it wouldn't make that much sense.
8. "I want to eat carbs without wanting to kill myself." Preach Amanda.
9. In real life: I appreciate Amanda's desire to go away for Christmas but she would have to do way more research and planning than the five minutes she takes in the movie. And I don't think Iris would just be hanging out waiting for some nutty American to swap houses with her.
10. "We both know I need to fall out of love with you. Would be great if you let me try." Jasper, leave Iris alone.
11. I applaud Amanda for driving in another country. The idea of that terrifies me. 
12. And then Iris meets Miles and they have a meet cute before we even know what meet cutes are (the eyelash thing) and you know it's going to be magical.
13. And then Amanda meets Graham and they have sex. They skipped meet cute and went to "I've seen you naked" faster than most people do. In the bigger picture of the movie, this totally works.
14. Ladies, tell people you are going out of town. For real, you could be injured, arrested, killed, etc. Someone should know where you are especially if you are leaving the country.
15. Cameron Diaz's awkwardness as Amanda is awesome. I love their morning after scene and the later drunken scene. She actually seems like a normal woman in this movie.
16. I also dance around my apartment randomly and awkwardly. Pumpkin seems okay with it so I guess I'm more Amanda and Iris than I thought.
17. Stupid Jasper - no you may not send Iris pages of your stupid book to read. She is trying to fall out of love with you. Stop it.
18. Iris - stop it. You don't have to read his pages. Or let him talk about you in swimwear. You are better than him.
19. Why is it that I am not able to pack like either one of them? How many coats does Amanda take with her (I counted 4)? I want both of their wardrobes.
20. Arthur! Arthur is my favorite character (after Iris). He has some of the best lines in the movie and helps Iris to see what she really is - the leading lady. He also knows that she and Miles belong together and has the sweetest love story of all. I've always felt like the friendship between Arthur and Iris was the most unexpected and delightful part of the movie. This could have just been another holiday love story but the friendship between these two characters is special.
21.  "Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend." Arthur, you are my hero.
22. I've decided after this viewing that Miles is the perfect man. In my teens and 20s I was interested in the bad boy or Lloyd Dobler; now I just want to hang out with Miles and let him write melodies that are me. And we'd drink Coffee Bean drinks together and there would always be a lingering kiss.
23. Y'all, Graham's kids win this movie. Olivia and Sophie are the cutest things ever. "You look like my Barbie." And they give us Mr. Napkinhead, probably Jude Law's most important film moment ever.
24. The Dustin Hoffman scene was not planned. He was driving to the Blockbuster to get a movie (remember when we still did that?) and saw the film crew. He decided to see what was going on and Nancy Meyers, the director, decided to write him in. It's a funny moment.
25. "Why do I always fall for the bad girl?" The sequence that follows between Iris and Miles is brilliant. It ends with the second best Miles line, "It's Christmas Eve and we are going to celebrate being young and alive."
26. Is Christmas Eve fettuccine a thing? I find it improbable that Iris and Miles and Amanda would all have the same meal on Christmas Eve. Is it the Christmas Eve food of lonely people?
27. The entire sequence of Miles writing Arthur's theme music: "It's cheeky." To Iris, "I also wrote one that sounds like you. Iris, if you were a melody...(song plays) I used only the good notes." Swoon. Jack Black is just not Jack Black in this movie and it's wonderful. The accidental boob graze may be the Jack Blackiest thing he does in the entire movie.
28. Do people really fall in love in such a short period of time like Amanda and Graham? I want to believe it but I don't.
29. Stupid Maggie. She and stupid Jasper should end up together and be awful together somewhere far away from Iris and Miles. Just leave them alone already. Your awfulness is not wanted here.
30. Iris, put those pages down. Stop enabling jerkface Jasper. However, the pages do lead to her amazing moment when she lets him have it and find her GUMPTION!
31. Arthur is clearly the inspiration for this post about old fashioned dating habits.
32. I love his speech about movies, how we connect to one another, and ultimately, love. I need an Arthur in my life.
33. Iris and Miles post first kiss. Fabulous. This is how I imagine the characters in my novel and their first kiss.
34. And finally Amanda cries. She hasn't been able to cry since her teens and leaving Graham finally made her cry. I guess people can fall in love in less than 10 days.
35. Then there is a great NYE party, Amanda and Iris meet and become best friends (obviously), Miles has the greatest look on his face when he looks at Iris, and Olivia and Sophie get to wear fancy party dresses. House swapping is the only answer to what's wrong in your life and this movie proves it.

Kate Winslet's Iris is basically the person I aspire to be in my life. I see a lot of myself in the character of Iris pre-house swap and I'm trying to be more like her post-house swap. I know how she feels when it comes to the plot line involving Jasper; I'm awesome at pining artistically (as my friends and I used to say) and "falling in love alone". And I'm always the best friend. That's been my life for most of my life. I'm very good at being a supporting character even in my own life. So this year, I set out to change that. Next week, I'll give you an update on how that's going and what I intend to do in my sprint to the end of 2013.