You're Doing Everything Wrong: Civic Duty Edition

I enjoy being a good citizen. The citizenship award in elementary school was one of my favorite things and I wanted to be the good citizen of the month every month. That's probably not fair since a true good citizen would want to share the award but 3rd graders are selfish. Anyway, as an adult I've strived to do the things I can do to be a good, productive member of society. I was a high school Civics teacher which means I'm a super citizenship nerd. I vote and pay my taxes and I always put my cart back at the grocery. When I was younger I was much more of an activist, participating in protests more and being a more active volunteer. I've come to the realization that I don't love crowds as much as I used to so I tend to support the organizations I love and believe in through donations, background activities, and being an advocate. I enjoy writing strongly worded emails and letters to my congressional representatives and the county officials where I live. I describe this as "quiet activism." We all have to opt for the level of activism that we feel comfortable with in our lives.

One thing has been missing all these years: I've never served jury duty. I know most people would jump at the chance to not serve on jury duty but I am not most people. I received a jury summons once before from the state of Hawaii. However, I had recently moved back to Louisiana so Hawaii didn't want to spend the money to bring me back for jury duty. I guess I understand their reasoning but I was a little disappointed. I was never called in any of the other cities/counties/parishes I've lived in since. No jury duty in Metairie (Jefferson Parish), New Orleans (Orleans Parish), the City of Alexandria, or the City of Alameda. Sad. I've even been a little jealous of my friends and family when they've been called. Why did they get picked and not me? Yes, it's weird. I know that and I'm ok with it.

To say that I was pleasantly surprised when I received my jury summons from Arlington County would be an understatement. I was excited - finally I would be able to complete the good citizenship puzzle I've been working on my whole life. I would see the inside of a courtroom. I would listen intently to the lawyers argue their cases and make a decision based on the evidence presented. I would do my civic duty. Finally, my jury duty week arrived.

And I failed. I failed at jury duty.

This is not to say I did anything wrong; I did nothing wrong. I arrived on time (early because it's me). I dressed appropriately. I brought my jury duty lunch (which was super sad but still I did it). I read The Answer Book for Jury Service cover to cover once I checked in. I vowed to answer all the questions asked of me during the selection process truthfully. I binge watched the tv show Conviction (more on this shortly) because that's what one should do to prepare.

I didn't get picked. I didn't even get the option of being an option for a trial. Here's what happened: we watched a surprisingly well made video featuring the Chief Judge and met with the Clerk of Court, an incredibly polite gentleman who took us through what would happen over the course of the week. Apparently, July is a light month for jury trials in the county. There were only three cases set for the week and they couldn't be sure if the cases would actually go to trial. There was also a second jury pool that would be called for the week so they could take the spots on the actual jury instead of any of us. We were told we would all be going into the court for the one case being heard on the first day but it never happened. Between the clerk briefing us and lunch time, the case was either dismissed or settled without the need of a jury. We were let go for the day and told to check the jury site for our next report date.

I gathered my things and made my way back to work (like a good citizen). I was disappointed and I was the only one in the room that was disappointed. I'm 100% sure of that. I checked the jury site over the next few days and was told not to report. On Wednesday afternoon, I received an email from the jury coordinator:

"Your service is complete."

My jury duty had come to an end without ever seeing the inside of a courtroom. I didn't get to make jury summons room friends or find out if the security guard at the court entrance won her Fitbit fitness challenge for the week (because we Fitbit people always find each other). I fulfilled my service but didn't really do anything. My friends tried to convince me that I had fulfilled my duty and should be okay with what I did accomplish by simply showing up and being a good sport. I think they're wrong.

The one thing I truly accomplished was re-watching the show Conviction, a short-lived addition to the Law & Order universe. The show focused on a group of young Assistant District Attorneys (ADAs) headed up by Alexandra Cabot (Stephanie March), before her character fakes her death on SVU, and Jim Steele, played by a favorite actor of mine, Anson Mount. The show only lasted one season which in Law & Order terms is the equivalent of one minute. I was a fan when the show when it originally aired and was disappointed when it wasn't brought back for a second season. I don't really watch procedural dramas anymore; once Lenny Briscoe died (on the show and in real life), I just couldn't do it anymore. But this was for jury duty so I watched. My binge watching brought back the same unanswered questions I had way back in 2006 when the show originally aired:

• Are all ADAs incredibly attractive? Is there a section of the bar that rates attractiveness and somehow that impacts a lawyer's employability? Exhibit A:
  
  
  
• Did Jim Steele ever figure out which lady he really loved? Was it Bureau Chief Cabot, poised to marry another man and a few years away from faking her death on SVU? Or was it Jessica, ADA with amazing cheekbones and a super sassy attitude? How would this have impacted the larger Law & Order universe had it actually been resolved? Steele and Jessica would have had impossibly attractive children. 
• Does Erik Balfour ever look trustworthy? I can't recall any movie or tv show I've seen him on where he didn't look sweaty, shady, and like he has a secret family somewhere. Exhibit B:
• Would my jury service end in a hostage situation as the two part series finale ended? Would I be one of the people forced to stand in a window because the guy holding court hostage thought that meant the SWAT team wouldn't shoot? For the record: they always shoot.
• Why did the priest in the episode about the kid who stole money from the church poor box have an Irish accent in some scenes but not others? Did they think no one would notice?
• Did Finn and Peluso make it? There were an inordinate number of couples on this show who all worked together. Did none of them realize that dating at work is a poor, poor life choice? 
• Did rich boy turned ADA Nick Potter stay with the job or go back to being an insufferable rich person like everyone else in his family? I like to think he stayed.

I'll continue contemplating these questions while I wait for my next jury summons. I can be called again in the next three years or sooner if needed. Or it could be another 15 years before I'm called again (the time between my Hawaii summons and Virginia summons). Or never. I guess I can live with that.

Next week: It's Sharknado Week on the Island of Misfit Toys! During the week I'll repost my previous blogs on the first three Sharknado movies in anticipation of the premiere of Sharknado 4 on July 31st. I'll fulfill my other civic duty by watching the fourth movie so you don't have to. Check it out next week on the Island!

Someecards
Conviction cover
Conviction cast photo
Erik Balfour

Transient Suburbia: Tales of a Fourth Grade Skating Party

Regular readers know that I'm working on finishing my novel. One of my beta readers (I type that like I know what I'm talking about) shared that she'd like more of Harper as a child outside of the letters so I've added three new chapters in that section. I thought I'd share one of the  new chapters from the section of the book set in the fourth grade. Harper, our heroine, has recently discovered her pen pal is a boy and that they seem to enjoy reading the same books. I added the roller-skating party, based loosely on a party I attended around the same age. Previous posts from Transient Suburbia can be found here. 

Chapter Five

1988-1989, Fourth Grade

    Dear Ben,                        September 30, 1988

    I got your first letter after I sent my first letter so I couldn’t answer your questions. Hopefully, you’ve gotten my letter by now. How are you? How’s school? What kinds of music do you play?

    I don’t play sports either but it’s because I don’t like them. My older brother plays baseball. I think I already told you that. I go to games and cheer for him with my parents. My sister goes with us but she always sits with her friends. I don’t play with Barbies but I do have Jem and the Holograms dolls. I mostly build stuff with Legos and read. My friends and I like to roller skate.

    Are you done with  “James and the Giant Peach”? I read the end last night. My mother never should have bought me a reading light. I always stay up past bedtime reading. Miss Spider is my favorite character. I like the part where James rescues Centipede from the ocean - it was scary but exciting. I’m starting on “The Witches” next and some Judy Blume books. What else do you like to read?

    What’s your treehouse like? Do you get to sleep in it ever? We can’t have a treehouse because we move a lot.

    Your friend,

    Harper

    Dear Harper,                         October 9, 1988

    Wow we both just finished “James and the Giant Peach”! That's awesome. I like the part with the sharks and when the aunts get in trouble at the end. Grasshopper is my favorite. I haven’t read “The Witches” but maybe I will soon. I mostly read comic books and stuff my older brother shares with me. He just gave me some books based on the “Star Wars” movies; they’re pretty cool.

    My dad makes me play classical old music. It’s ok I guess. I want to learn rock songs on my guitar. I’ve been trying to listen and play along but it’s not that easy. My mom says I can take some guitar lessons for fun this year if I keep up my classical piano lessons. I told her I would but so far no guitar lessons. Maybe for my birthday in December. When is your birthday?

    You like Legos? I have a bunch of them. My brother and I like to build tanks and planes. He got a castle set for his birthday and we’ve been working on it for a few weeks now. We keep it in the treehouse. What do you build? Sorry about the Barbies; a lot of girls I know have them.

    Why do you move so much? We’ve always lived here in the same house. Maybe you could get a treehouse that could some way be moved. I don’t know how that would work but I’m sure they make them. My treehouse kinda looks like my house. My dad had one of those treehouses from the back of a magazine when he was a kid. When we moved into our house, he built us a treehouse that was bigger and better than the one he had. Or at least that’s what he always tells us. It’s pretty big. My friends and me get to sleep in it in the summer. My mom always worries that I’ll fall out of it when I’m sleeping and break my arm again.

    Later,

    Ben

“Hangin’ Tough” blared from the speakers at Roller Skating Paradise. The album was released right after school started. Sophie, Harper’s best friend, had been listening to it on repeat ever since, much to Harper's dismay. Even her birthday party was New Kids On The Block themed, right down to the pictures of Jordan, Joey, Jonathan, Danny, and Donnie on the cake. Harper didn’t particularly like the New Kids but it wasn’t her birthday party and she didn’t want to be a bad friend.

Sophie’s party was the first birthday party of the school year and it was the first girl/boy party anyone in their class had ever thrown. All of their class was invited and just about everyone came. Harper skated around the rink expertly, spying her mom and Sophie’s mom manning the snack table. A group of boys were clustered around the table, throwing popcorn at one another. Mrs. Monroe shooed them back out to the skating rink. Harper caught up with Sophie, Claire, and Tiffany, her closest friends. They were dressed in various shades of purple, pink, and teal. Harper thought they looked like a Lisa Frank folder come to life. The girls were whispering and giggling about something.

“Why are we whispering?” Harper asked as she joined the group.

“We’re deciding who’s going to couple skate with who,” Sophie replied. “It’s coming up in two songs.”

“How do you know when it’s going to be?” Harper hated couple skates. Her friends had only recently expressed interest in couple skating.

“Sophie asked the DJ.” Claire said matter of factly.

“Aren’t they guys supposed to ask? Or are you in charge of it somehow?” Harper hoped her friends left her out of it.

“Well since it’s my birthday, I should get to skate with who I want to. I pick Jay.” Sophie had had a huge crush on Jay ever since they were assigned as science partners at the beginning of the school year.

“Claire’s going to skate with Mark and Tiffany with Tommy.” Sophie turned to skate backward to face her friends. She was the best backward skater of the group.

“That just leaves you, Harper,” Claire laughed a little as she said this. She knew Harper hated the idea of a couple skates.

“I think I’ll help our moms get the cake ready. It’s almost time for us to have cake and to open presents.” Harper tried to deflect the conversation away from her participation.

“No you aren’t. All of us have to couple skate. That’s the rule.” Sophie was in bossy birthday girl mode. Harper knew she would lose this argument so she opted to play along and beg for a good partner.

“Fine. Just pick someone who’s not a dork for me.” Harper sighed.

“Peter!” The three girls said at the same time.

Harper blushed; it was dark in the rink so she didn’t think anyone noticed. Her friends knew she liked Peter so of course they would arrange it so that she would skate with him. He was the smartest boy in class, although Harper had the highest GPA. and was cute in a preppy sort of way. He was wearing a pink Polo shirt and Bugle Boy jeans, the uniform of boys in her class. His brown hair was brushed to the side so he looked kind of like DJ’s boyfriend on Full House. He sat next to Harper in class and always borrowed pencils from her. Mrs. Henderson never paired them up, much to Harper’s disappointment.

“Great,” she replied. The group skated through the next song, ending over by where the boys were skating. The DJ changed records from another New Kids song to a song Harper had never heard before. She knew it was an old song but couldn’t place it.

“Alright all you lovebirds out there, it’s time for a couple skate. If you’re not a couple, please move out of the rink until the end of the song,” the DJ's voice boomed over the opening chords of the song.

Harper’s friends started to pair off as Lou Reed’s “Satellite of Love” started to play. Even though Harper didn’t know the song she immediately loved it. She was trying to figure out some of the lyrics so she could ask her dad about it later; he was good at helping her figure out songs from just the lyrics. She barely noticed when Peter skated up to her.

“Do you want to skate with me?” he asked.

“Sure.” Harper took his hand and they skated into the rink together.

It was hard skating with someone else. Harper had to concentrate on keeping her speed consistent with Peter’s and holding his hand. Peter was taller than Harper by a few inches so his stride was a little longer than hers. He was constantly slowing down and speeding so they could get in sync. He smiled at her a few times but didn’t say much. That was okay with with Harper; it allowed her to listen to the song more closely and skate in time with it. Peter’s hand was a little sweaty; Harper wondered if he was nervous too. Maybe that was why he didn’t say anything. Harper saw her mom as they passed by where she was standing. Mrs. Monroe was taking pictures of her and Peter. Awesome, Harper thought. Her mom would tell her siblings and Harper would never hear the end of it especially from her sister.

As the song came to an end, Harper and Peter skated back to where they started. “Thanks for skating with me,” Peter said shyly.

“It was fun.” Harper smiled at him.

She turned to exit the rink. At the same time, Peter skated closer to her and quickly kissed her on the cheek. He sped off before she could say anything as a Huey Lewis & the News song began to play. Harper stood there for a minute, a little shocked by what had just happened.

Her first kiss. It probably didn’t count since it was only on the cheek but still it had happened. Had her friends seen it happen? Had her mom? What did she do next? Before she could do anything, Sophie skated up to her.

“And you didn’t want to couple skate!” Sophie had definitely seen the kiss. She grabbed Harper’s hand and skated them over to the cake. “Peter likes you,” she whispered.

“That’s cool.” Harper wanted to appear cool with this despite the fact that she was freaking out on the inside.
Before the conversation could continue, Sophie’s mom called everyone over for cake. Harper stood next to her best friend as the group sang "Happy Birthday." In the seconds before Sophie blew out her candles, Harper looked up over the glow of the candles and snuck a look at Peter. He smiled at her. She smiled back and quickly looked away. Skating parties were pretty fun after all.

The Box of Frivolity

I've been struggling with a topic for this week's post. Originally, I had planned to write about another UT Book recipe but the DMV has been dropped into the middle of a heat wave. The idea of turning the oven on in my apartment makes me sweat so I'll have to save that one for when we have a break in the heat. It's also been a hell of a week (which is the understatement of the world I know) which may have added some additional stress/pressure/whatever to the idea of what to write about today. I could take a week off but don't want to. I could post a new chapter from my novel but I don't think it's ready yet.

Then it hit me - The Box of Frivolity.

Never heard of the Box of Frivolity? That's perfectly fine because it's something I made up a few weeks ago. I have friend who was in grad school this year working on her Master's in positive psychology. The program was intense; a hybrid online/in person program completed in one year while she still worked full time. Thankfully for my friend, she's passionate about the program and her area of study so while it's been a lot of work and a lot of stress, she's at least studying something she wants to study and write about. She technically graduated in May but her thesis is due in August so she went from class and reading and short papers and projects to reading and reading and researching and writing and writing. Back in May, I asked her what book she was going to read once she finished her thesis and could resume reading books that weren't related to school. She couldn't answer. I told her she needed to find some frivolous things to read and do after finishing her thesis. She needed to give her mind and body time to deal with the fact that she wasn't going nonstop on school and work anymore. She needed to take a little break, even if it meant just an hour or two of reading a cheesy novel or watching a terrible movie.

That's how the Box of Frivolity was born. Another friend and I were discussing graduation/completing your thesis gifts and I suggested after several other ideas that we should put together a box of stuff for her that would allow her to be frivolous in small doses. So we went about amassing a box of different things that we felt fell on the frivolous scale: bubbles, a light up jump rope (which is only funny to the three of us), Batman stickers, chocolate, spa masks, and two ridiculous books that we knew she would never pick for herself but that we felt fit perfectly in the frivolous book category. Yes, I bought her the tie-in book for the new Ghostbusters movie. The other one was a dystopian YA novel of some kind (as they all are) but I can't remember the title. We also threw in some googly-eye rings and monster finger puppets. Viola - a Box of Frivolity.

I would argue that the Box of Frivolity is something we should all do every now and then to help in times of stress, sadness, disenchantment with the world, or general hopelessness. You can make one for yourself and stash it somewhere around your house, at the ready for a day when you need something silly and fun to brighten your life. Or maybe focus on others; make a Box of Frivolity for your friend who's going through something or just needs a little pick me up after a long day or week or life. Yes, you could just open up a bottle of wine with that same friend but sometimes wine makes it worse. The idea of a Box of Frivolity is really about fun and playfulness. Wine does not always accomplish that.

We need to take care of selves no matter what the circumstance. Slowing down, eating better, getting more sleep, exercising, reading a frivolous book, all of these things can help. Taking care of yourself isn't selfish; it's what you should do. I started this blog at a time in my life where I was alone; I moved to California and didn't know anyone and it was isolating at the beginning. I spent a lot of time in my first few months in my new home being stressed and angry for making what I thought was a stupid decision. When I started writing the blog, I realized it was not a stupid decision; it was the exact right decision for me at the time BUT I needed to focus on me and doing the right things for me. So I started writing. I joined a theatre group. I started walking three miles a day. I baked more (mostly for my co-workers) and I tried to eat better and cook more at home. This blog was my first Box of Frivolity; I can write about cheesy movies or from my cat's perspective because it's funny and makes me laugh. It's gets me outside of whatever is stressing me out and sometimes, it does the same for other people.

Make yourself a Box of Frivolity this weekend. I'll give you a tip: it doesn't have to be an actual box. As I said, the Island is my Box of Frivolity so yours could be a place or a person you spend time with. It can be whatever you want it to be. Or be like Pumpkin and just enjoy the actual box. Cats know best.