Coming Soon: A story in multiple parts

Before I dive into today's post, I want to remind everyone of a few things:

1. Don't ingest bleach, detergent, cleaning products, hand sanitizer, and things like laundry and dishwasher pods.
2. Sarcasm is not an appropriate form of communication if you're say, the president of a country addressing the public during a global pandemic. 
3. Also, that's not how sarcasm works. 

Moving on.

Back in 2014, I participated in National Novel Writing Month for the second year and the end product, Transient Suburbia, is my favorite thing I've written. I did one more NaNoWriMo the following year, but 2014 was really the best. I had an idea that I loved about music, travel, and the power of the mail, three of my very favorite things. I finished during within the one month time limit of NaNoWriMo, and worked on the novel on and off for about a year after. A few of my friends read it and seemed to like it, which was pretty cool. 

In 2017 I was about to go on a trip to Nashville, a city I've never visited, but one that was central to the college years of my main character. The trip was a research trip, so I'd plan to do so many things. A few days before I was supposed to go, my aunt died and I canceled the trip to go to Michigan for her funeral. While I was in Michigan, I was laid off from my job by the company I was working for at the time (yes, they called me while I was out of the office attending a funeral...people suck). When I came back, I put the novel away. I didn't want my grief over my aunt's death and my job situation to ruin the story for me. I felt like I would somehow taint the story if I worked on it while I was so angry and sad and frustrated. I did, eventually, write another chapter, but I don't think it's quite right so I put it away again. 

As the reality of our new world of staying at home set in, I made a list of things I was going to work on while having to stay home. I put Transient Suburbia on the list, towards the bottom, but on the list. I figured it would take me a few weeks to do some of the other things, particularly the commissioned embroidery piece I finished recently and a few home improvement projects. I also decided to make a bunch of postcards and bake a bunch of stuff, so the novel keeps getting pushed to the end of the list. While I was writing last week's post about postcards, I got the idea to post the novel here, a few chapters at a time. If I do it this way, I have to spend time each week reviewing and editing my work, and my lovely Island readers get a little bit of entertainment while staying home trying to figure out what to binge watch and, more importantly, not giving yourself bangs. We're still not at the stage of staying home where anyone who isn't a trained professional should give themselves bangs. Put the scissors down. Now.

Starting next weekend, I'll post 1-3 chapters of Transient Suburbia per week. I'll try to be consistent and post on Saturdays, but a lot will depend on my ability to edit during the week, so an occasional post may come out on Sunday. There are around 30 chapters, but since the chapters vary in length and it may make more sense to share more one week than another, this is going to last well beyond when the Virginia stay at home order ends. I'd love to hear what you think, but also no big deal if you don't want to read it or don't want to share any feedback. This is an exercise for me to be more accountable for the things I create, and to finally say this novel is finished.

I hope you'll join me each week as I introduce you to the world of Transient Suburbia. Sometime this summer, we'll return to your regularly schedule Island posts including some Lazy Movie weekends (which is everyday now), a new Ask a Cat post, and some reminders about voting. 

Postcards from the Edge

I went to Walmart this week. I rarely go to Walmart. I'm a Target person. One of the things I miss right now is going to Target and wandering, with no actual purchasing needs in mind. As one of my friends recently asked on Facebook, do you think Target misses me?

Anyway, I went to Walmart because, according to their online in-store stock listings, both of the Walmarts by me (there are two within a ten minutes in either direction) had paper towels in stock. Having a cat who occasionally eats too fast and throws up his breakfast means I need paper towels. So I decided to brave Walmart, get paper towels and pick up a few cleaning items I needed if they had them. I also ended up with Blue Bell ice cream; whatever deity is guiding us must have known what was going to happen at the end of my trip so she made sure Walmart was fully stocked with my favorite brand of ice cream.

My Walmart experience was actually better than the other stores I've been to. They have tape on the floor every six feet for you to stand at when waiting in line, aisles have directional arrows, and they're limiting the number of people inside. Walmart is also larger so it didn't feel like I was cramped in with people. They were fairly well stocked; some of the usual suspects were out, but what can we do with people unnecessarily hoarding flour and yeast? I walked to the checkout lines feeling like this was the best trip to Walmart of my entire life. And then I got into the line. It wasn't the waiting in line that got me. It was what happened while I was in line.

In front of me was a couple; I'm not sure what their relationship to one another was. With everyone wearing masks, it's harder to tell age, but they were either a young mother and her older son or maybe nephew or a couple couple. My guess is mother and son; I think he was in his late teens and she was a younger mom. In front of them was a woman by herself, probably a few years older than me. When I got in the line they were exchanging some heated words, and it escalated from there. The couple was standing within their six feet distanced box, but she asked him to move back more. He did, but it wasn't good enough for her. She started yelling at them, calling them all sorts of obscenities, including the c-word. Loudly, in line at Walmart. The guy said something back, but I couldn't hear it clearly with the mask, and that set her off even more. No one did anything, so of course, I had to say something. I asked them both to ignore each other and stay in their lane (literally). The single woman told me to eff off and stay out it. I told her it's hard to stay out of something when you're yelling loudly at people who aren't doing anything wrong. She called me a bitch. The guy started to say something to her, and she responded by taking things from his cart and throwing them at him. A Walmart employee finally stopped, asking me what was going on. I explained, he got another employee (maybe a manager?) who asked me some questions. By the time, he showed up, the woman stopped and the couple was quiet. The two Walmart guys stayed in the aisles nearby until the woman checked out (buying cigarettes and one of those customizable light boxes people use for motivational sayings). I finally got through the line and drove home, having spent two hours of my life at Walmart getting yelled at by a stranger.

When this week started, I was determined to have a good week. The week prior had been my week of feeling like I was failing at everything and accomplishing nothing. Everyone has probably had this exact week or day since staying at home. I wanted to start the week off strong, focusing on getting some tough work tasks completed, and finding something fun to do that wasn't binge watching past seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race (although I really enjoyed re-watching Season 6). I considered a few things: taking up long distance walks (the weather didn't really cooperate this week), reorganizing my craft room, going through my CDs again. None of these things seemed right. What I realized is that they were all about me, and what I was craving was something that would be about connecting with other people.

I decided to send postcards.

I have just over 100 postcards that I've purchased and saved over the years. Whenever I travel, I buy a few cards to send immediately and a few to bring home. The cards have been sitting in a box for years, taking up space and without purpose. So I decided to send postcards to people. I love sending and receiving mail. I've kept every postcards I've ever received since my dad sent me my first postcard in 1987. The Postal Museum is one of my favorite museums. And of course, the US Postal Service is in danger of closing. The 45 will bail out cruise lines, but not an essential service like the Post Office, which is actually in the Constitution. It just shows you how little the 45 knows about the governing document of this country.

But let's not ruin things by talking about him.

After I settled on the idea of sending postcards, my mind started to work as it does. In addition to the 100 travel postcards, I found over 40 plain brown cards I use for Groundhog Day cards. I decided to make some unique cards to send to people as well. Since Monday, I've made six embroidered cards (something I've been wanting to do forever), some stamped cards, cards with stuff I didn't use for Nyx purses, and I'm in the process of making glitter cards. Some of these cards were designed with specific people in mind; most were not. My plan is to send at least one card to everyone in my address book. Once I've gone through everyone, I'll start again until I run out of cards to send.

Since announcing this plan, I've gotten addresses from people I only really talk to online (friends from high school and college, a former coworker I haven't spoken to in four years), and requests from people who don't want a card for themselves, but for someone in their life who could use a little cheering up during this time. Other people have decided to send cards too, placing online orders for stamps and helping to support the Post Office one card at a time. I got my first card in the mail yesterday, from Anita, who also loves sending postcards.

As I recounted the Walmart story during to my friends during our virtual wine and crafts day yesterday, I worked on these handmade cards. Each stitch and shake of glitter is a way of erasing a little bit of the ugly of my Walmart encounter. We all have to make a lot of choices right now. It's a choice to yell at people and throw paper towels at them in the middle of a Walmart. It's a choice to call a stranger who was only trying to help a bitch. It's a choice to protest stay at home orders that are meant to keep people safe, and not seeing the irony in wearing masks while doing so. It's a choice to follow the physical distancing guidelines and wear masks in public places. It's a choice to be angry at a person for having a tantrum in public. It's a choice to let it go and realize you don't know what's going on in their life right now and being angry at them isn't going to solve anything. It's a choice to send a postcard to a friend or a stranger to let them know someone is thinking about them.

I'm choosing to send postcards.

Question for loyal Island readers: I participated in National Novel Writing Month for the last time in 2016. I finished my novel Transient Suburbia, and have worked on it on and off since finishing. I let a few friends read the entire novel, but haven't really done much with it since mid-2017. I shared a few chapters here on the Island during NaNoWriMo. My question is: would you want to read the entire novel, a chapter or two at a time over the next several weeks? I want to do something with this novel. I love it very much, but have been hesitant to do anything with it outside of sharing it with friends. Sharing it here, a few chapters at a time, feels like a fun way for us to pass the time together and you can let me know if you like it or not. Share you thoughts in the comments!

Lazy Movie Weekend: Tiger print is my new favorite color

BIG DISCLAIMER: No one needs to own a big cat as a pet or as a roadside attraction. There is zero reason for this to be a thing, except the egos of people involved. The people featured in the docuseries, Tiger King, are all very different versions of the same exploitative person. So while I'm going to talk at length today about the show, it's not because I support these people or think they deserve any accolades for what they do. I can't help being fascinated by them and the phenomenon that is Tiger King.  

Also - SPOILERS. 

We've come to the point in 2020 where nothing seems normal and everything is on fire. We're only three months into the year! How is that even possible? I feel like I've lived an entire year in the last week. This new reality makes fiction seem like fact and fact seem like fantasy. Of course, that means it's the perfect time for the greatest docuseries of all time to make its way into our lives.

If you haven't watched the Netflix docuseries, Tiger King yet than I'm not sure what you're doing with your inside kid life. Like most things Netflix, it's fast become the thing everyone is talking about and no one seems to be able to fully comprehend. My new favorite hobby is talking to people right after they watch the first episode, and then telling them "wait, it's only going to get more bananas for here." Unlike most documentaries, even the wild ones, Tiger King doesn't follow the traditional narrative arc of backstory, crazy/inappropriate/horrible thing happens, investigation, resolution. Just when you think it's going to plateau, something else happens that's more bizarre than the last bizarre thing that happened. Hats off to the filmmakers for completely shattering my perception of the narrative arc. Bravo.

As filmmakers Eric Goode and Rebecca Chaiklin set out to make a movie about the exploitation of big cats at roadside zoos and attractions, but it became something entirely different (although they do focus on the negatives of these attractions, but it's not the focus). Goode, a conservationist, was making a film about the venomous snake trade (also a thing - I've learned so much and we're only on the first episode) when he stumbled upon the super shady world of big cat owners and sellers. The series follows the life of one particular person in this world, Joe Exotic (not his real name). There's so much more to say about the "plot" of the series, but really, nothing I write will do it justice. If you haven't watched it, watch it. If you have, let's move on to the most important point of discussion about the series:

Tiger King is as watchable as it is because of the slice of humanity that make up the world of the series. We're introduced to the two main players, Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin, as they relate to one another. Joe runs his roadside zoo, Carole believes big cats shouldn't be in cages and wants to shut Joe's operation down, while also running an animal "sanctuary" where big cats can live out the rest of their lives (in cages). This should be an easy sell; we have a villain and a hero. If it were that simple, everyone wouldn't be talking about this show. We're also introduced to Doc Antle, Joe's "mentor" (maybe? sorta?), another big player in the big cat exhibition world. There's also a former drug dealer (who says he's the inspiration for the main character in Scarface), a guy who's probably/definitely a serial killer, lots of ex-cons, Carole's second husband, Joe's husbands (more on this shortly), and an employee of Joe's who is the person I'd like to see get their own series. Joe is not necessarily the villain, and Carole is not necessarily the hero. And Doc, well, he's probably an actual cult leader.

With all of this being said, the most "important" question of 2020 remains: which "cult" leader do you choose? As I pondered this question, I realized it's not an easy answer. All three of them are problematic, and definitely not on the right side of the moral issues around keeping big cats (and other animals) in captivity for private use. Yes, they've provided space for these animals, but they shouldn't have them in the first place. And they definitely (I'm looking at you, Joe and Doc) shouldn't be selling them (although both would say they don't do that). So the only thing that makes sense is to do what we all do when needing to make a really important decision:

Let's make a pro/con list.

I enlisted the help of friends on Facebook, from work, and random people on the internet to come up with a handy pro/con list to help me, and maybe you, make up your mind about which tiger cult leader to follow. We're living in strange times, where our political leaders are failing us (well, one very specific political leader is failing us), so knowing where your tiger cult leader allegiance lies could be considered currency in this new world.

Naturally, we begin with Joe.

Pros

• Fashion icon in a "if you ever wondered what a gay tiger cult leader who lives in Oklahoma and has a mullet would look like" kind of way.
• Supports diversity in hiring practices if diversity means "probably did time." 
• Lots of access to pyrotechnics/explosives 
• The music videos! "Here Kitty, Kitty" is art. 
• Makes Thanksgiving dinner for his community. 
• His husbands. One of the most surprising things about Joe is that he somehow convinces multiple men to marry him. I guess it's the tigers and probably the meth? John is my favorite, and deserves all the happiness the world has to offer him. 
• Ran for governor of Oklahoma (he got 19% of the vote). He also ran for President in 2016. He's clearly civic-minded. 

Cons

• So much meth (and probably a bunch of other drugs). 
• His misogyny. I get it, you don't like Carole, but the misogyny is awful. His hatred of Carole leads me to believe he might have a larger issue with hating women in general.
• Abusive behavior toward the animals. It's implied that others abuse or mistreat their animals, but we actually see Joe do it on camera. 
• Ability to attract a person to his circle who is probably/definitely a serial killer or rapist.  
• He ran for President in 2016. 
• He "killed" Michael Jackson's alligators. (Michael Jackson is not mentioned in the series. Let that process for a minute. This show is so wild that he is not referenced at all.)
• You'd have to live in a van down by the river and eat expired Wal-Mart meat. 

Moving on to Carole.

Pros

• FASHION ICON! There is no doubt about it, Carole is a fashion icon. Her cute kitten hats, her white lady at a farmers market peasant tops, her getting down to business khaki capri pants, this woman rocks them all. Fashion Icon.
• Access to a really lovely bike trail so you can enjoy nature and make awkwardly sincere videos while riding a bike. 
• Her current husband, Howard, seems like a nice dude. Delusional, but nice. 
• Understands how social media works, and uses this power to build an "empire." 
• Is trying to get laws enacted at the federal level to stop big cat trading and breeding in the US.
• From now on, "Hey all you cool cats and kittens" is the only way to start a meeting or greet people.

Cons

• Laughs at super inappropriate times in a way that makes everything and everyone super uncomfortable
• Might have a stash of sardine oil on her person or property at all times
• Actually created a cult-like system of volunteer classification (shirt colors and timelines for moving from one volunteer level to another). 
• Doesn't pay anyone.
• Possibly involved with the death of her second husband, Don. I don't personally believe that Carole killed her husband, but I also don't believe she doesn't know more than she's letting on. It's the nervous laughter. Maybe the Don't F**ck with Cats team can reunite and solve this case for us. I'd watch that show everyday. 
• Still keeps big cats in cages. 

And finally, Doc.

Pros

• Have you seen the property? It's definitely the nicest of the three and looks like it's well taken care of.
• You're free to leave "at any time" - seems legit.
• Celebrities! Doc has a following and support from a lot of very famous people. 
• He was featured in Britney Spears's iconic performance of "Slave 4 U" at the VMAs. Everyone talks about the snake, so we all forgot there are big cats on stage too. (Also not mentioned in the series.)
• On camera, appears to genuinely love the animals he owns. 
• Myrtle Beach is nice. 

Cons

• Controls the bodies/weight/wardrobe of his female staff. This includes "consensual" body enhancements. (Note: at least two of my friends placed the enhancements item in the Pro list, but I don't agree.)
• Refers to himself as "lord" or "master of the universe." Seriously. 
• You have to work all the time. It sounds like a 90-98 hour work week for about $100. 
• Questionable practices with baby tiger cubs. One former employee talked about a cub she cared for every day, and then one day, he was gone. She never found out what happened to him. (Antle's property has been raided, but nothing has come of this.) 
• His ponytail.

I don't know, y'all. I'm still not sure which tiger cult leader to follow. Most days, I'm in the Carole camp. She's a strong lady, runs her own business, but the inappropriate laugh gets me every time. Doc is out for me; there are enough old, white men in the world trying to tell women what to do with their bodies. We don't need another one, even if he has tiger cubs. Then there's Joe - the reason we're all talking about this show. Without Joe Exotic there would be no Tiger King, but is that enough to cement my following his tiger cult? I don't know.

All I can say is thank you, Netflix. Just when I thought Nailed It was the best gift you could ever give me, you rolled out Tiger King. What's next? How can you possibly top Tiger King?

Thank you to everyone who contributed to the pro/con lists. You're the best!

Note: There are actual sanctuaries in the world helping to protect these beautiful animals. We can support organizations like Panthera and others who work to protect big cats and their homes.

All the memes I used are listed in one of these posts with the original source:

https://www.guide4moms.com/2020/03/the-best-netflixs-tiger-king-memes.html

https://thetab.com/uk/2020/03/30/more-tiger-king-memes-netflix-149947

https://tenor.com/view/hey-all-you-cool-cats-and-kittens-hi-there-hey-hello-cat-lady-gif-16732456

https://9gag.com/gag/aZ761XV/here-are-20-memes-of-the-wild-docuseries-tiger-king