Old habits die hard

I don't like strangers touching me. I know this is a relatively obvious statement to make; most of us don't like it when someone we don't know bumps into us on the street or our hands brush on the Metro. As I am female, I have also experienced my share of "being female in public" moments of dudes thinking it was appropriate to grab my butt or touch some part of my person at a bar. Nope, it is not appropriate. As the great Patrick Swayze once said, "This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine." I like to live my personal space life with occasional Johnny Castle quotes in my brain as it seems appropriate (he knew a thing or two about personal space). We can all agree that none of us enjoy these types of encounters with strangers. Don't get me started on sweaty crowds at music festivals.

When I say I don't like strangers touching me, I'm actually talking about people who are in professions where they may actually have to touch a person to do their jobs. This includes massage therapists, manicurists, hair stylists, and yoga instructors. I don't doubt that their intention is professional and in their clients' best interest but I find the type of familiarity that comes with these interactions somewhat exhausting. Several of my friends think this is strange, particularly the massage part since they find massages relaxing (I don't). And it's not like I don't make exceptions; I like my stylist and I have a favorite manicure place. I typically attribute my dislike of these types of interactions to my introverted, slightly Type A nature and call it a day.

One of the things I promised myself when I started my new job was that I would not fall into the patterns I've been living in my work life for the last past 5 years (maybe it was the last 10 but I'll just say 5 to be generous). This is the list I made for myself of habits I want to try to break:

• Eating lunch at my desk more than 3 times a week
• Not taking a break at least once per day
• Excessive baking
• Not taking advantage of all the perks, benefits, and fun stuff available to me
• Arriving early...every day
• Feeling like my phone is a new appendage and I must read all of my work emails immediately
• Not wasting my PTO
• Going out to lunch more than 3 times a week
• Only wearing jeans 2 times a week

It's not a work revolution I know but, when added up over time, these habits abet in creating a work life that feels like work. I want to enjoy where I work and what I do. Yes, the organization creates the culture and maybe encourages the habits. However, the reality is that I am part of the culture and the process. I have free will. I an adult lady who can do things. Attitude and practice are part creating habits.

I've been in the new job a month as of this week. A month is both a short and long time period depending on your perspective. I feel like it's gone by very quickly. I've done an incredible amount of work this month but have also only scratched the surface of the organization and my actual job. What's cool and satisfying is that I'm already contributing and getting things accomplished. Given my experience with onboarding new employees, I know this is not always the case when you start a new job. I like my new manager, my team, and many of the other people I've met since starting. I feel like I'm doing good work. There's a feeling of trust that I don't know I've ever felt this early in a new job. It's refreshing.

So how am I doing on breaking those old habits or at least not establishing new versions of them?

• Eating lunch at my desk more than 3 times a week - I'm trying so hard not to do this. There are multiple lunch/break rooms in the office plus and outdoor area that's not terrible even on a super hot day. I'm getting better but still need some improvement.
• Not taking a break at least once per day - Two weeks ago I starting walking around the outdoor track with two of my co-workers. It's about a 20 minute walk and I need to do the correct thing and put it on my calendar so I do this at least 3 times per week. And yes, I have walking buddies. I'm on the slow path of making friends at work.
• Excessive baking - Haven't baked a thing. I have a lot of feelings about this since I really love to bake but don't really want to get in the habit of bringing stuff to work. I'm not saying my new co-workers would be the same but there is a point where this becomes an expectation rather than a nice thing I do for people. I don't want to get into the expectation place again. Thankfully, I'm starting a monthly crafting get together with my friends so they will get all th baked goods and I'll at get some baking done and order will be restored to the universe. Or something.
• Not taking advantage of all the perks, benefits, and fun stuff available to me - We'll come back to this one in a moment
• Arriving early...every day - My commute is much longer now so I'm very aware of time as I start my day. I wake up, go to the gym, get ready, and am out of the house by 6:30. I'm at work by 7:20 and ready to start my day. My hours are earlier so I leave by 4:30. I think I've finally adjusted to the new schedule. I occasionally go to bed at 9 pm on a weekday. I am totally fine with this.
• Feeling like my phone is a new appendage and I must read all of my work emails immediately - Most of my direct team is located outside of the US so the bulk of my emails actually come in early in the morning given the time difference. I'm totally cool with this. I suspect this will change once the program I manage kicks off in September but for now, I'm managing my work email time quite well.
• Not wasting my PTO - Noted. I already have several uses for the days I'll have this calendar year AND I took the bonus holiday of July 3 (floating holiday) so I'm baby-stepping my way to taking time off.
• Going out to lunch more than 3 times a week - I've been pretty good about bringing my lunch but also reliant on the fact that we have a cafe in the building which is both awesome and terrible. This is a work in progress.
• Only wearing jeans 2 times a week - I am crushing this one! In a month, I've only worn jeans twice. I've always tried to wear clothes that are on the dressier side of casual so this hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. It also helps that everyone in the office is super stylish and incredibly put together in a very casual/professional way. They're very inspiring. Also, I may have just purchased business appropriate tops in dinosaur and cat patterns. I still have to be me.

As of this past Monday, I'm not the newest person on the team anymore. I was actually helpful to the person who started this past Monday. I could actually answer questions for her and shared the wisdom of my whole month of employment with the company with her. I know, it's great stuff.

Which brings us back to strangers touching me. One thing I've come to enjoy about this new organization is that they seem to have figured out how to have the perks of a typical tech company (ping pong table and Rock Band in the break room, car detailing on site, fresh fruit in the kitchen) without making it seem like they're pandering to some weird trend in HR or trying to be super cool to for the kids. Maybe I'm being naive but I don't believe so. There is an genuineness with these efforts that's hard to fake. One of these perks is monthly seated chair massages. It just so happened that the July day fell on my actual one month anniversary so I decided, in the interest of this new start, I would put aside my feelings and give it a try. The worst that could happen would be that it wasn't enjoyable and I'd never sign up again. The best? Well, my commuting stress would be massaged into submission.

It was somewhere in between. This is all set up in a large conference room on the first floor of the building. They darken the room and turn on soothing music. Each 10 minute time block includes four people; they do a nice job of setting up each chair in the space so it doesn't feel crowded. The massage therapist I was assigned to was very nice; I'm pretty sure he realized he was dealing with a slightly Type A person who is not great at relaxing on command (which is basically what a massage is in the big picture of life). I felt better afterward. I dived right back into work but the tension in my shoulders was gone (that's where my stress lives by the way). It was a positive experience. Will I do it again? Maybe. Even if I don't, I'm still trying to make a good work life for myself.

It was a good first month. The work is fun and challenging. The people are pretty cool. As I wrote back in May, I was getting so bored not working and not doing what I like doing (helping people be their best at work). Boredom can be a good thing but it's also exhausting. There are only so many hours of CSI reruns to watch (although there are 15 seasons so you can do the math). It feels good to be back in the world of work.

Now if I could only find the elusive best way home in the evening, I'd be all set. I don't know how people commute for years and years without becoming rage-filled psychopaths; I've only been doing this for a month and I want to physically harm people who don't realize the lane ends and they have to merge even though there's a GIANT SIGN that tells them this. These people are why we can't have nice things.

The desk dinos have a new home and seem to be settling in nicely. One of them may come with me when the frozen yogurt truck pays us a visit this week.

Lazy Movie Weekend: My brain is a genius

Normally when I sit down for a Lazy Movie Weekend, I watch a movie I've seen so many times I could quote the entire movie to you without having to watch it. I love every movie that I cover in these posts so I've always struggled with the idea of writing one about a movie I'm seeing for the first time. But I also like a challenge and what better way to challenge my movie watching/blogging skills then to let someone else select the movie for me? This weekend's movie was selected by my friend Michael. You might remember him as Bad Shakespeare from a few crossover posts we did previously. Michael is a movie aficionado; he sees all the movies and while we may disagree on Billy Joel, we usually agree on movies. Except La La Land; I'm never going to love La La Land like he does. I'd be the one being interrogated in this SNL sketch because of my feelings towards this movie. I'm a monster.

Regardless of our differing opinions on that movie, I decided to take Michael's suggestion for a LMW post and watch the mockumentary, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping. I was not disappointed. I'm not entirely sure what I am when I comes to this movie but disappointed is not involved. I don't know if this movie is for everyone, but I think you should check it out just in case it's exactly for you. It recently premiered on HBO and I hope this will help it become the cult movie it is. With that said, take a walk over to your Aquavision refrigerator, let it play you a song, and grab some carrots (cut into one of nine shapes), join me for Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping.

• At it's heart, this is a movie about friendship. Thank goodness it begins with a "before they were famous" friendship montage. If I'm ever famous, I would like there to be a "before they were famous" friendship montage made of me. Everyone needs this kind of montage to remind them of who they truly are.
• The Style Boyz - I want them to be a real band who goes on tour so I can go to the show and relive my adolescence except with humor and alcohol. Akiva Schaffer is my favorite Lonely Island member and slowly steals this movie from Andy Samberg beginning in the Style Boys videos.
• So many cameos! If you blink you'll miss every member of the SNL cast from Samberg's years to the present plus all of the musicians: Questlove, Nas, Carrie Underwood, Usher, Mariah Carey. Ringo Starr is in this movie! Genius.
• Conner4Real is loosely based on Jutin Bieber and it's hard not to think of the Biebs throughout most of the first part of the movie. Samberg nails the narcissistic, clueless pop star perfectly. It's like he's been practicing for this movie his whole life.
• No thank you Adam Levine cameo. At least he's not wearing a deep V-neck shirt like always. 
• Mariah Carey talking about the Conner4Real song "Humble" is one of the funniest things Mariah Carey has done in her entire life.
• Tim Meadows! I told you every SNL cast member is in this movie. Tim Meadows needs to be in more movies. He's a national treasure.
• Two new job goals: umbrella wrangler and perspective manipulator. I may have had to pause the movie to get myself under control after the perspective manipulator was explained.
• So the songs. This wouldn't be a movie about a popstar if there weren't songs. The first new single Conner releases ("surprise releasing it on Thursday at noon) is called "Equal Rights Song." It's a parody of the Macklemore song "Same Love" and is so laughingly terrible you can't stop watching. I put the Lonely Island guys up there with Weird Al on their ability to write great parody songs. Pink, on a unicorn at one point, makes a cameo in this song and you can't help but love her more.
•  Emma Stone! Can she be a popstar for real? "Costco samples like a motherfucker" should be everyone's catchphrase.
• When we return to Lawrence, now living on a farm, we're basically watching every episode of CSI that involved the origins of a serial killer. So perfect.
• Aquaspin - this is probably our future. Our appliances will come preloaded with crap music and then eventually try to kill us. It's like a terrible U2 album meets Maximum Overdrive. 
• Paula (the great Sarah Silverman): "We'd like to get to the point where Connor is everywhere, like oxygen or gravity or clinical depression."
•  CMZ! I laughed so hard at these segments. They all nail the TMZ impersonations. At the end, when they get sad about their lives until they can show James Franco at a Denny's? So funny.
• Joan Cusack as Conner's mom! I love her. She should probably be in every movie.
• Ditto to Justin Timberlake. Describing his catering business and how Conner likes carrots in nine different shapes. If you don't like Justin Timberlake we probably can't be friends.
• "Finest Girl (Bin Laden Song)" so not my jam but a bizarrely wonderful moment on tour with Conner4Real.
• "Things in My Jeep" - Lawrence's rap song is the kind of rap song I'd probably write. 
• "Thirty Seconds to Mars is the name of the band. It's not a fact." - Harry (I snorted when he said this.)
• And then the story returns to the downfall of Conner, the rise of Hunter the Hungry, and the plan Owen has to "parent trap" Conner and Lawrence to get the Style Boyz back together. There might also be an appearance by Seal, a wolf attack, and a short sequence with Imogen Poots during this chaos.
• The Donkey Roll! I can totally see this being a thing at middle school dances. 
• "There's not fun in collating." Harry is the best.
• Was that Doyle at the turtle funeral? 
• "We're three Tom Pettys AND the Heartbreakers." Lawrence
• And then we end at an awards show called the Poppies. It's a song called "Incredible Thoughts" and it features Michael Bolton, a person dressed as a fish, and the kind of stream of consciousness song writing that would probably be called insane if Lawrence had become a serial killer rather than rejoining the pop band he once belonged to. It's amazing. And yes, that was Weird Al.

In the great tradition of Christopher Guest movies, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping joins the list of my favorite mockumentaries. It's ridiculous, hilarious, and so over the top. You have to see it to believe it.

Have a movie you want to get the Lazy Movie Weekend treatment? Let me know by posting in the comments. I'll do my best to cover it in a future post.


Popstar poster

Rise Up! Rock Out!

Back in November, I shared a snippet of conversations I was having with friends and acquaintances who were struggling to make sense of the election and the outcome and the world we were immediately plunged into because of it. I'm not magical so I'm wasn't immune to the same feelings my friends were feeling BUT I felt like I had a strategy in place for moving forward when the election was "done." I would ask my friend "What have you done? What are you willing to do next?" not because I wanted them to feel guilty but because I wanted them to think about how to be part of change in a way that would work for them. And maybe, by being a bit more in the world, the crippling sense of doom would go away bit by bit. That was the plan.

For me, being a "good" citizen is important. I've always believed that being socially and politically active is the point; that's how I define a good citizen. We're supposed to protest and vote and get involved in our communities. We're supposed to care about one another and this country and question our leaders. The Women's March was a powerful reminder of that as have been the countless protests and other movements that have happened since November. Social change isn't easy especially when you're covering ground you should NOT have to repeat but all of these steps are necessary so we don't end up 50 years (or more) in the past.

What's challenging is getting lost in the muck of all of these ideas and the rhetoric and the ridiculousness of a commander in chief who tweets like a teen jacked up on Mountain Dew with equally poor grammar. It's hard sometimes to find the good in the world. I know this. That's why I planned for it (because sometimes I'm a little too Type-A for my own good) and decided to commit myself to more coming off of the natural high the Women's March. I vowed to be more active within my local government (which I am doing in many ways) and to look for a local organization to either donate time or money to (or both). That's how I found Girls Rock! DC.

Celebrating its 10th Anniversary this year, Girls Rock! DC is a summer camp for girls, trans, and non-binary youth which focuses on music, music education, and social justice. The original rock camp was founded in Portland, OR and has spread around the US and the world, with rock camps in most major US cities and in countries like Japan, the UK, and Sweden. During camp week, campers take music classes, learn music history, and form a band. The bands write music together, create their band name, their aesthetic, and a song to be performed at the end of camp Showcase. They also have the opportunity to take workshops on a variety of topics and learn from one another and the camp staff.

Girls Rock! DC (GR!DC) was founded in 2007 by a group of area musicians, teachers, and community organizers to focus on the idea of building community while also rocking out. I heard about Girls Rock! DC from a volunteer at the museum. She and I were discussing getting more involved in local organizations and she mentioned GR!DC. She'd recently gone to a showcase for their adult program, We Rock!, and had thought of me because of my love of rock music and education programs (I'm always surprised by my qualifiers amongst people who know me). I did a little research, saw that they had a call out of for volunteers, and contacted the group. I did a volunteer interview, talked with a member of their leadership team via email about working on the communications team, and showed up at the first training. And then I was hooked completely.

It's rare to walk into a room of people so dedicated to something that you immediately have to tell someone else they need to be involved in this group but that is exactly what happened when I went to my first training (I texted Anita and then made her get up early to come to the showcase). It was awesome to see so many people coming together to make this camp happen. Listening to the various leadership team members talk about the program, the mission, the campers was inspiring. It's a lot of work but it makes a difference for the campers who participate. Many are experiencing not only camp for the first time, but playing a musical instrument for the first time. The camp is very representative of the area, with campers coming from all quadrants of DC, Maryland, and Virginia. It's a supportive, open, and creative space. Girls very rarely get that.

I didn't get to spend the week at camp since I started my new job (this will be remedied next summer) but I did get to spend time working on the showcase program and helping with set up at camp and at the showcase venue, the 9:30 Club. Did I not mention that? The camp showcase is at the 9:30 Club. I know, it's wild. The other volunteers I work with are awesome; I have never met a cooler, more welcoming group of humans in my life. I wasn't sure if my more Type-A personality would work within the group but it seemed to be okay at least for what I was working on throughout the last few weeks. The few campers I got to meet, primarily the members of the Youth Leadership team, were fun to talk to and hear from as they shared their camp experience.

And then there was the showcase. These bands and DJ crews (there were two crews this year) have one week to write and rehearse their song. Many of the campers are learning music for the first time and they range in age from 8-18. What they created for showcase was amazing; the songs were from the heart, timely, and full of spirit and resistance. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

Here are a few samples:
from "Freedom and Justice" by Awesome Jamz-P.O.M.S
Yo, my freedom is everything, everything to me
I might even sing in it in four harmony
I got my sisters by my side
You know that they down to ride
They call me up, and they say "hey!"
We fighting for freedom and justice everyday

from Unknown Dawn's song
Don't give up 
Believe in yourself
Change what you want to change
Don't be bothered by anyone else
Try your hardest and love yourself

There was also a song called "Triggered" by Close Open Doors with a chorus that offered the suggestion of being calm and counting to nine to handle a very serious topic that happens all the time. The band handled it with humor and seriousness all at the same time. There was a lot of poetry and defiance wrapped into these songs. One of my favorite songs was from one of the younger band groups, Galaxy Starzz. It was a dreamy nugget of a song and it was about being you who are and making friends and being stars. The DJ crews were also impressive; it added a great vibe to the showcase and they were really supportive of one another on stage.

At the end of the showcase, all the campers, past and present, and the volunteers come on stage to sing the Girls Rock! DC anthem. Here's my favorite verse from the song:

Now I know I can do anything
I can DJ or play drums or sing
Come on, everyone, get up and dance
Cos the future of rock is in our hands!

Groups like Girls Rock! DC give me hope for the future. I'm excited to continue being part of this organization throughout the year and waiting anxiously for camp 2018. Until then, let's all continue to rise up and rock out!

 Photos by me