Stuff I Love: A short commute

I've developed a habit of making up stories about random people sitting in traffic. Sometimes they do things that inspire the story, like the time I saw two younger guys in a minivan, one was dressed like a soccer dad and the other was definitely Shaggy younger brother. In my mind, they were lab partners who live next door to one another and soccer dad's mom told him he had to be the good guy and drive Shaggy Junior home. Soccer dad was not pleased. Sometimes I see a little boy walking home from school carrying a legit old man briefcase. He's either a spy or a math genius.

I started this game when my commute changed from approximately 15 minutes to anywhere from 40 minutes to eternity. If you've ever driven during rush hour in the greater DMV, you know this is no exaggeration. There was day during my first month at this job where it took 3 hours to get home. There wasn't an accident, just traffic. Lots of it. I live 30 miles from my office. It should not take 3 hours. Something is wrong with the scenario. And yes, I am very aware that I have the ability to move closer to where I work. I don't want to. I like where I live. I like it's proximity to DC and that I can walk to Target (I never do; cat litter is heavy). I may reconsider this when Amazon becomes my new neighbor, but for now I manage my commute with weird stories about my fellow commuters, listening to music loudly (I'm probably in another commuter's story), breaking more than necessary when a people is too close to me, and flipping people off for being awful. These are my commuting coping mechanisms.

I've also fully embraced the ability to work from home once a week (twice a week now if I really need the extra day). I like many things about where I work and love a few things, but this supportive work from home culture is one of the things I adore. Now before I dive into all the things I love about this, let's make a distinction:

• Working from home: the practice of occasionally working from a home-based location (glitter and sequin strewn kitchen table for me). My "home office" is my actual physical office because I'm located there the majority of the work week.
• Remote working: the practice of working from a home-based location for more than three days per week. My manager is a remote employee; she's not based in the DMV and works from home all five days per week. 

I worked for my previous employer for almost 11 years. In that time, I only worked from home when the weather was too bad to drive or I was sick, but not sick enough to take the day off. I would usually take late night meetings from home too. We had a work from home policy, but I always felt like I wasn't allowed to use it because I lived close to the office. Even on days when the snow was really bad, people would roll their eyes when I worked from home...from the safety of their own homes, of course. This is why I was apprehensive to take my work from home day where I am now, even though pretty much everyone on the team takes a day and it's normal and accepted. 

My apprehension is gone. I love my work from home day. My regular day is Thursday. I settled on Thursday through a very scientific process of rating my commute home for my first four months in my job. Mondays and Fridays are lovely; government workers can telecommute on those days so traffic is more manageable. I have a lot of Wednesday meetings in which I need to be in person, so I rule out Wednesdays. It came down to Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesdays seemed too early in the week for me, but the final event that made me choose Thursdays was the random day it took 3 hours to get home for no reason. After that day, I paid closer attention to my Thursday commutes, and it was always the worst on my drive home. Thursday wins. 

And it's perfect. It's later in the week, so I don't have as many meetings. I try to schedule meetings for the days I'm in the office and use Thursday as a project work/research/writing day. This doesn't always work, but I try really hard to make it so. Editing content, creating new content for the programs I manage, writing for various people, takes a lot of focus. That focus can be easily broken in the office. If my team in the Philippines needs to meet at 7 am my time, it's easier to do it on Thursdays because I'm at home and I don't have to worry about traffic and whether I'll make it on time. It makes for a relaxing and productive work day. I thought I would miss being around people, one of the things I enjoy about working in an office, but I find having one day with no one around is great for my productivity. My hours are normally 7:30-4:30, and on my work from home days, I will sometimes work a little later because I can get things started for dinner, and then go back and finish something I was working on. It's awesome. 

It's also the day where I feel I get more done than other days, both professionally and personally. Work from home days have produced a few of my best presentations (since taking this job), an article I'm super proud of (for someone else), and several brainstorming sessions, which resulted in new projects or approaches to doing things we do all the time. I also completed the leadership program I was enrolled in last year, and have recently started drafting ideas for articles for some periodicals in my field. This is the power of uninterrupted time. 

On a day where I go into the office, I get home between 5:30-6, which is the same time as when I was commuting only 15-20 minutes. The big difference is that I get up much earlier now than I did then; I have a 40 minute drive (approximately) every morning, so I need to be up and out by 6:40 at the latest. So I go to bed by 9:30, which means I only have 3 hours at night to accomplish things like making dinner, hanging out with the cat, laundry, grocery shopping, and whatever else I need to get done. And before anyone is like "you're single, you don't even know what tired is," I get it. I don't have kids or a spouse, but married or single people with children don't own the market on being tired and having shit to do. We need to stop comparing our lives in these ways. It makes everyone grumpy.

I don't feel rushed when I "get home" with cooking dinner, so I'm able to actually make something that's good and relatively good for me. I use my lunch break to run errands, which I sometimes do at the office, but it's easier when I'm closer to home. If Keely needs to get a pet-icure (they make me call it that when I make the appointment), I can take him on my work from home day. All of my doctors are closer to my house than to work, so I also try to schedule my own appointments on these days, again over lunch, so I don't have to take PTO to go to the doctor or go on a weekend. Sometimes, I even sleep in until 6 am on my work from home day and it's glorious. I feel well-rested and ready to be my best at work. 

Have I talked about how great it is to be around Keely all day? He is a grumpy, old man (who isn't old; he's 2) who doesn't want attention. And then he does want attention...while I'm conducting a team meeting. 

This was one of my first work from home days after I adopted him and he looks like he wants to be part of the team. My team members thought this was hilarious, especially when he meowed a few times during the conversation. His second favorite "the human is here all day" past time, is trying to jump on the counters when I'm on the phone and making a horrible noise when he can't do it. It's awesome, especially when you're on a call with a member of leadership and they can hear the unfortunate meow in the background, despite the fact that I was wearing headphones. 

Most days, Keely lays in his bed or near my feet when I'm home. Last Thursday, he was on my feet all day and would occasionally make funny faces at me. This was a rare work from home day where I had calls from 7-11 am with little break. He was doing his cat job, and providing humor and levity in a stressful day. 

Such a weirdo. This particular face made me giggle for a good 15 minutes, silently since I was still on a call. 

I have fully embraced working from home. I never thought I would. I've always enjoyed the hustle and bustle of being in my place of work; there's energy and other people. There's a dynamic in office environments, particularly when you work with interesting and talented people (which I do), that's super satisfying. Finding that environment makes me want to work better and be better. Working from home one or two days a week doesn't change that. In fact, it's made me think differently about my time in the office. I work hard to schedule the rest of my week so I can have a focused work day on my work from home day. I think about the tasks I need to do in the office, like working on tasks that involve data review or major editing, because I have two screens at the office and those are easier to accomplish with a larger monitor. I manage two leadership programs, so I schedule our in-person sessions mostly on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, which I've read are the best days for in-person training. It took me some time to get it right, but I finally did. 

Stuff I Love Month continues with a final look at all that glitters in the purse world as we get closer to my first ride in a Mardi Gras parade! Next week, we'll look at some of the finished glitter purses and I'll share the inspiration behind the designs. It's going to be so sparkly.

Old habits die hard

I don't like strangers touching me. I know this is a relatively obvious statement to make; most of us don't like it when someone we don't know bumps into us on the street or our hands brush on the Metro. As I am female, I have also experienced my share of "being female in public" moments of dudes thinking it was appropriate to grab my butt or touch some part of my person at a bar. Nope, it is not appropriate. As the great Patrick Swayze once said, "This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine." I like to live my personal space life with occasional Johnny Castle quotes in my brain as it seems appropriate (he knew a thing or two about personal space). We can all agree that none of us enjoy these types of encounters with strangers. Don't get me started on sweaty crowds at music festivals.

When I say I don't like strangers touching me, I'm actually talking about people who are in professions where they may actually have to touch a person to do their jobs. This includes massage therapists, manicurists, hair stylists, and yoga instructors. I don't doubt that their intention is professional and in their clients' best interest but I find the type of familiarity that comes with these interactions somewhat exhausting. Several of my friends think this is strange, particularly the massage part since they find massages relaxing (I don't). And it's not like I don't make exceptions; I like my stylist and I have a favorite manicure place. I typically attribute my dislike of these types of interactions to my introverted, slightly Type A nature and call it a day.

One of the things I promised myself when I started my new job was that I would not fall into the patterns I've been living in my work life for the last past 5 years (maybe it was the last 10 but I'll just say 5 to be generous). This is the list I made for myself of habits I want to try to break:

• Eating lunch at my desk more than 3 times a week
• Not taking a break at least once per day
• Excessive baking
• Not taking advantage of all the perks, benefits, and fun stuff available to me
• Arriving early...every day
• Feeling like my phone is a new appendage and I must read all of my work emails immediately
• Not wasting my PTO
• Going out to lunch more than 3 times a week
• Only wearing jeans 2 times a week

It's not a work revolution I know but, when added up over time, these habits abet in creating a work life that feels like work. I want to enjoy where I work and what I do. Yes, the organization creates the culture and maybe encourages the habits. However, the reality is that I am part of the culture and the process. I have free will. I an adult lady who can do things. Attitude and practice are part creating habits.

I've been in the new job a month as of this week. A month is both a short and long time period depending on your perspective. I feel like it's gone by very quickly. I've done an incredible amount of work this month but have also only scratched the surface of the organization and my actual job. What's cool and satisfying is that I'm already contributing and getting things accomplished. Given my experience with onboarding new employees, I know this is not always the case when you start a new job. I like my new manager, my team, and many of the other people I've met since starting. I feel like I'm doing good work. There's a feeling of trust that I don't know I've ever felt this early in a new job. It's refreshing.

So how am I doing on breaking those old habits or at least not establishing new versions of them?

• Eating lunch at my desk more than 3 times a week - I'm trying so hard not to do this. There are multiple lunch/break rooms in the office plus and outdoor area that's not terrible even on a super hot day. I'm getting better but still need some improvement.
• Not taking a break at least once per day - Two weeks ago I starting walking around the outdoor track with two of my co-workers. It's about a 20 minute walk and I need to do the correct thing and put it on my calendar so I do this at least 3 times per week. And yes, I have walking buddies. I'm on the slow path of making friends at work.
• Excessive baking - Haven't baked a thing. I have a lot of feelings about this since I really love to bake but don't really want to get in the habit of bringing stuff to work. I'm not saying my new co-workers would be the same but there is a point where this becomes an expectation rather than a nice thing I do for people. I don't want to get into the expectation place again. Thankfully, I'm starting a monthly crafting get together with my friends so they will get all th baked goods and I'll at get some baking done and order will be restored to the universe. Or something.
• Not taking advantage of all the perks, benefits, and fun stuff available to me - We'll come back to this one in a moment
• Arriving early...every day - My commute is much longer now so I'm very aware of time as I start my day. I wake up, go to the gym, get ready, and am out of the house by 6:30. I'm at work by 7:20 and ready to start my day. My hours are earlier so I leave by 4:30. I think I've finally adjusted to the new schedule. I occasionally go to bed at 9 pm on a weekday. I am totally fine with this.
• Feeling like my phone is a new appendage and I must read all of my work emails immediately - Most of my direct team is located outside of the US so the bulk of my emails actually come in early in the morning given the time difference. I'm totally cool with this. I suspect this will change once the program I manage kicks off in September but for now, I'm managing my work email time quite well.
• Not wasting my PTO - Noted. I already have several uses for the days I'll have this calendar year AND I took the bonus holiday of July 3 (floating holiday) so I'm baby-stepping my way to taking time off.
• Going out to lunch more than 3 times a week - I've been pretty good about bringing my lunch but also reliant on the fact that we have a cafe in the building which is both awesome and terrible. This is a work in progress.
• Only wearing jeans 2 times a week - I am crushing this one! In a month, I've only worn jeans twice. I've always tried to wear clothes that are on the dressier side of casual so this hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. It also helps that everyone in the office is super stylish and incredibly put together in a very casual/professional way. They're very inspiring. Also, I may have just purchased business appropriate tops in dinosaur and cat patterns. I still have to be me.

As of this past Monday, I'm not the newest person on the team anymore. I was actually helpful to the person who started this past Monday. I could actually answer questions for her and shared the wisdom of my whole month of employment with the company with her. I know, it's great stuff.

Which brings us back to strangers touching me. One thing I've come to enjoy about this new organization is that they seem to have figured out how to have the perks of a typical tech company (ping pong table and Rock Band in the break room, car detailing on site, fresh fruit in the kitchen) without making it seem like they're pandering to some weird trend in HR or trying to be super cool to for the kids. Maybe I'm being naive but I don't believe so. There is an genuineness with these efforts that's hard to fake. One of these perks is monthly seated chair massages. It just so happened that the July day fell on my actual one month anniversary so I decided, in the interest of this new start, I would put aside my feelings and give it a try. The worst that could happen would be that it wasn't enjoyable and I'd never sign up again. The best? Well, my commuting stress would be massaged into submission.

It was somewhere in between. This is all set up in a large conference room on the first floor of the building. They darken the room and turn on soothing music. Each 10 minute time block includes four people; they do a nice job of setting up each chair in the space so it doesn't feel crowded. The massage therapist I was assigned to was very nice; I'm pretty sure he realized he was dealing with a slightly Type A person who is not great at relaxing on command (which is basically what a massage is in the big picture of life). I felt better afterward. I dived right back into work but the tension in my shoulders was gone (that's where my stress lives by the way). It was a positive experience. Will I do it again? Maybe. Even if I don't, I'm still trying to make a good work life for myself.

It was a good first month. The work is fun and challenging. The people are pretty cool. As I wrote back in May, I was getting so bored not working and not doing what I like doing (helping people be their best at work). Boredom can be a good thing but it's also exhausting. There are only so many hours of CSI reruns to watch (although there are 15 seasons so you can do the math). It feels good to be back in the world of work.

Now if I could only find the elusive best way home in the evening, I'd be all set. I don't know how people commute for years and years without becoming rage-filled psychopaths; I've only been doing this for a month and I want to physically harm people who don't realize the lane ends and they have to merge even though there's a GIANT SIGN that tells them this. These people are why we can't have nice things.

The desk dinos have a new home and seem to be settling in nicely. One of them may come with me when the frozen yogurt truck pays us a visit this week.