When you grow up your heart dies

"Jules, y'know, honey... this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge"

 -Billy (Rob Lowe), St. Elmo's Fire

A couple of months ago, my friend Allison and I attempted to attend a movie night at Nationals Park. The event was promoted by Groupon (which is how Allison found out about it) and we were super stoked to go hang out with other 80s movie fans on a brisk evening and watch St. Elmo's Fire. At a baseball stadium. I had planned to do a Lazy Movie Weekend post about the experience too. It was going to be epic.

But that did not happen. When Allison and I arrived at Nationals Park, the lights were completely off and no one was there. There was no sign of the 80s cover band that was supposed to be playing or the cast look alikes. She and I were it. The one Nationals employee we found had no idea what we were talking about. Four other people would eventually wander over too, unaware of any cancellation. No one at Groupon responded to the email, the tweet or, the Facebook post went sent. Groupon punked us and it was disappointing. And so we got back on the Metro and went back to Clarendon and had dinner. We did see someone almost get arrested so we considered the evening a success.

The next day, Allison and I both got a response from Groupon. The event had been canceled but somehow Allison (who made the reservation) wasn't on the list for notification. They refunded the ticket price and gave Allison credit for future purchases so that worked out.

So, I didn't get to watch the movie after all. And it either hasn't been on tv at all or I come in the middle of the movie which isn't fun. So this isn't a Lazy Movie Weekend post (although I am going to to tell you some great things about this movie). Every year, usually around this time, I find myself suffering from what I can only categorize as ennui. Or a psychological zombie apocalypse. And for some reason, I associate this movie with this feeling. I believe I've finally figured out why.

St. Elmo's Fire is a later addition to the Brat Pack movie world. It's not a John Hughes movie and does not feature Molly Ringwald (Ally Sheedy sort of takes her place in this one). The movie takes place in DC (which is weird because it's not about politics at all and I think only movies about politics should take place here). It focuses on a group of 20 somethings just out of college who are trying to make their way in life. They're moving into their first jobs out of college, trying to figure out their love lives, and generally doing the stupid things that people in the 80s did all the time (at least in movies). Like wear layers of clothes with shoulder pads. Or date Judd Nelson.

There are some things that I absolutely love about this movie:

• Ally Sheedy's character Leslie is who I imagine Claire (from The Breakfast Club) would have become if she was a real person. 
• There's a scene in which Ally (Leslie) and Judd (Alec) have an argument over who gets to keep which records when they break up (sorry for the spoiler). This scene is my favorite because I could envision myself having a similar debate with a boyfriend but I also realize that this scene would probably not exist in a film if it was made today. Because only old people (like me) actually buy albums or CDs anymore. What do people divide up when they break up now?
• This quote by Kevin (Andrew McCarthy's morose character): "I enjoy being afraid of Russia. It's a harmless fear, but it makes America feel better, Russia gets an inflated sense of national worth from our paranoia. How's that?" This is why Red Dawn (and now it's remake) even exist.
• That I learned to be wary of certain types of gifts from boyfriends. Judd Nelson is to blame for this. If you've seen this movie you know what I'm talking about.
• If the club scene in Xanadu was what I envisioned adult night life was like, this movie is how I envisioned being 20ish and on my own would be like. Looking back on this now makes me laugh and feel sort of foolish.
• The end of the movie where they're all standing outside the bar looking in at the new versions of themselves and decide not to go in. Instead, they talk about getting together some other time. Probably for brunch. Because that's what grown-ups do - they go to brunch.

However my absolute favorite thing about this movie is this: Almost all of the characters are the person (or some variation of the person) that Ally Sheedy's character in The Breakfast Club described when she said "When you grow up your heart dies." Whether it's Alec who gives up his ideals to the almighty dollar or cheats on his girlfriend for no apparent reason except that he can or Kevin who should be writing but he's too wrapped up in his obsession with Leslie so he settles for writing obituaries and complaining about everything or Jules living what can only be described as a very 1980s lifestyle, they all represent what happens when you just don't believe in anything anymore. And I think that's what Allison (from The Breakfast Club) was really talking about: when you grow up you have to be so concerned with things like money and status and following some sort of preset path that you forget who you are and what you really believe in or are passionate about.

Wendy and Billy are really the only two that I don't think fall into this camp. I don't really care for Billy but he does get the hell out of dodge to follow his dreams so at least he does something. Wendy could take money from her wealthy family, marry the man that her father wants her to marry (who is terribly boring) and have an easy life. But she doesn't. She has her job (social worker), she lives away from her family, and her heart belongs to Billy (even though this is a horrible idea - remember this is 1980s Rob Lowe so he's basically playing himself in the movie). Wendy is the heart of this movie. She keeps the group together. She doesn't want their hearts to die.

And this is why I equate my ennui with this movie. I think about "When you grow up your heart dies" all the time. I never want to come to a point in my life where I'm not passionate about what I'm doing or the life I'm living. There's something about this time of the year that brings this into focus. Is it the end of the rush and excitement of the holidays? The realization that it's only going to get colder between now and March? That Congress comes back into session? I just don't know. I don't want my heart to die. I don't want to be friends with people who have let their hearts die or if I am, I want to be their Wendy and help them figure it out.

After all, I am Erin Counselor and that's a very Erin Counselor thing to do.

Pumpkin has a lot of feelings

I know everyone has been patiently awaiting the return of National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day (January 22). Clearly, this is one of the most important made up, random holidays our nation has to offer. I found out about this holiday last year all because I follow Pee-Wee Herman on Twitter (do yourself a favor and follow him - it's like a burst of sunshine in an otherwise cynical and mean Twitterverse). Last year, I answered some of Pumpkin's most pressing questions and I feel like she appreciated it.

A lot has happened since last National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day and I think Pumpkin has even more to ask this year. I'm fairly certain that she's going to be a little grumpier (she's really come into her own as a grumpy old lady cat) and maybe even a little mean. It's cool - I still love her and will answer her questions honestly. Also, there will be cute photos of her (because you know you love her too).

I also hope that my friends who have added cats to their families this year will take the time today to seriously address their own cat's questions. Don't act like you don't talk to your pets - you know you do.

Pumpkin's 2013 Questions:

1. Why did we move back to Virginia? Let's see: I am a nomad, my boss really wanted me to move back to our office here, I missed our family (and you did too - admit it), and most importantly, I don't believe that we were meant for California. We're not Californians. We're not Virginians either but we'll get it right someday.
2. Do you realize that our apartment is very small? Yes, I do. Let me explain Northern Virginia real estate to you. Unless you want to live in the country (and by country I mean Prince William or Loudoun counties), you make the decision to rent a small apartment near enough to where you work that's not terrible but costs more than it should and doesn't have a guarantee of a parking space unless you pay more money and is much smaller than you're used to and has no charm. Because you'd like to not have to drive for hours or commute for hours on the Metro. Think of it this way, it's small but it only takes me 10 minutes to get back and forth to work so in theory, I have more time to spend with you.
3. So because our apartment is so small, is it okay for me to jump on top of the refrigerator and/or the cabinets? Actually it's fine. You seem to have figured out your exit strategies (finally-it only took you 11 years) so I'm fine with you sitting on top of the refrigerator or cabinets. The counters and table are still off limits - we still have rules in this house.
4. Why exactly do you come home late from work? And I don't just mean like an hour late - I'm talking several hours late. There seems to be debate about whether cats can or cannot sense time or the length of time a person is away. Two of our vets have told me that you have no concept of the time that has passed especially given that you have toys, a window to look out of during the day, and plenty of spaces to nap. However, other sources say that cats are organized on schedules and so while it may appear that you sleep 18 hours a day it's really your schedule and when I don't interrupt said schedule with food or attention, you get grumpy and mean. And you do get grumpy and mean. So I will make you a deal, I will try to stay to the schedule as much as possible but you agree that Mama gets a night or two out sometimes or does in fact, have to work late. Cat food can't be purchased with cuteness so you'll have to deal.
5. Where is that lady that gave me treats and sat with me during the day when you weren't around? What happened to her? You mean my mom? We saw her at Christmas and she was here two weekends ago. She doesn't live in our apartment so the whole "let me feed the little cat treats from my hand" routine is over for you. I think she may have spoiled you a bit too much when you stayed there over the summer. It's your cute face - people have a hard time resisting.
6. Oh I'm sorry, does my playing with the blinds annoy you? Yes, it does. Especially when it's the window in the bedroom and it's 3 am. Remember, I don't sleep 18 hours a day or whatever you sleep so knock it off. 
7. What's up with the whole tumblr blog thing? Do you need a real hobby? Isn't blogging a hobby? I guess maybe not in your eyes. Have you seen the tumblr blog? You and the dog are adorable. And you've been reblogged twice. You're famous (or something).
8. So it's not okay to sit on the bed or couch after I've just rolled around in the shower after you've finished? No, it's not okay. Wet couch and wet comforter are two things I don't want to deal with. I don't get the fascination you have with the shower but I'm glad that you jump in only after I'm done. Please just stay off the couch and the bed until you are dry.
9. What is this warm, metal square that you use all the time? Can I have it? My laptop is not a toy for you. I know it's warm and so tempting for you to lay on or against it and to rub your little face on the edges but I'm working right now and you're in the way. And yes, during the hurricane my training group in Illinois thought it was hilarious and adorable that you were in the background making noise because I was ignoring you (to do my job) but the next group might not find you as adorable so let's agree to have some boundaries on days I work from home. 
10. Do you know where my penguin is? I don't but we'll find it. I know you love penguin more than your other toys. Did you check under the chair? I suspect it's under a piece of furniture since when you do play you tend to throw your toys around and they end up under things. I would suggest playing with pirate mouse, owl, or flying squirrel until we find penguin. 
11. If we can't find penguin, can we get an actual penguin? I'm sorry but we cannot get an actual penguin. Where would we keep a penguin? I'm not even sure a person can legally own a penguin in the state of Virginia so you'll have to settle for your toy version. We will find penguin. Relax.

Do you have a question that you think Pumpkin wants answered? Add it in the comments and I'll do my best to answer them all.

And just because she's adorable, enjoy some more photos of Pumpkin. For the record, I am not a crazy cat lady. I only play one on the Island.

Pumpkin does her best Liz Taylor. She was preparing to watch Liz&Dick on Lifetime.

Pumpkin and Penguin

And just because, two adorable cat posts from Buzzfeed, your number 1 source of awesome cat posts always.

The 15 Best Things About Cat Bedtime
Cat Petting Guide

You can be my friend but only if you like this song

When I was in college I had two roommates junior and senior year, Heather and Kelly. All three of us were in the theater department and had one of the party houses (I really miss that house and not just because of the parties). Anyway, even though the three of us were very close friends we also had our own friends both in and out of the department. Heather was close with another group including a girl named Hillary. Hillary and I were not good friends during most of college. I would classify us as acquaintances - we worked shows together, went to the same parties, had classes together but I wasn't part of that group. During senior year, we all ended up going out in the French Quarter one night. We were going to see our friend perform at Oz in the drag show and then see where the night would take us. It took us to a bar called the Velvet Dog (used to be right next to Johnny White's) and to a jukebox moment that I remember to this day. So we're sitting in this bar and Stevie Ray Vaughn comes on and both Hillary and I know the words and start talking about the music we like. And discover that we have a lot of music in common including the same favorite Guns N Roses song ("Mr. Brownstone" which we also played that night). I can't listen to The Pixies without thinking about Hillary; she was the only person in college that I knew who even knew who they were. And she liked them too.

I promise this has a point. Music is one of those universals that helps connect people and places. I read a ton of books about music and musicians and that's the connecting thread in all of them: music is the way to bridge a distance and make a connection. I did a little informal research on the old Facebook this week about this and one of my friends said, "And I instantly like anyone who has heard of them." (The bands she was talking about are Carbon Leaf and Great Big Sea so i f you like them I have someone for you to meet.) One of my favorite books about music, Love Is A Mix Tape, is exactly about this. Rob Sheffield and his wife Renee fell in love to music and had this amazing (sad) story all to a specific soundtrack. Their favorite band: Pavement. 

I collect songs like some people collect baseball cards or Star Wars action figures. I often say "I would like to live in that song" and I'm being totally serious when I say it. I can remember hearing certain musicians for the first time and who it was that introduced me to them. Introducing a person to a band you like is sacred in some ways. You want that person to believe as much as you do in the music and to let that music become part of their life just like it did yours. When I make people a mix, I want them to spend time with "my friends" and hope in that time they get to know me better too. And honestly, it doesn't matter if it's New Kids on the Block (when I was 11) or David Bowie (when I was 14) or Michael Penn (when I was 16) or Neko Case (in my late 20s), I love what I love and don't believe in the concept of "guilty pleasures" when it comes to music. I'm not embarrassed by liking the soundtrack to Xanadu as much as I like Patti Smith's Easter; I like them for completely different reasons. Don't apologize for what you like - own it.

Over the years, I created what I refer to as "five songs" - a list of five songs that fit into very specific criteria:

• If I couldn't listen to these five songs, I would be devastated and feel empty 
• If any or all of these songs were sung to me by a guy that I liked (in a serious way), I would marry him
• If I have a horrible day, listening to any of these songs (alone, together, in any order), instantly makes me feel better
• If you like these songs, I instantly like you

Now this list has changed a bit over the years, but the current version of the list has been in place for about 2 years now. There are also honorable mentions; these are the songs that have been on the list at some point and may find their way back if something in my life changes. I can't predict when or why the list will change. It's just sort of a feeling I have. And of course, it would be a list wouldn't it?

So here they are:

1. Thirteen by Big Star. I love this song move than any song I can think of (and that is saying a lot). Alex Chilton has the greatest voice and one of my favorite lyrics of all time is in this song (I'll let you figure out what it is on your own). 
2. Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds. I know I remember the first time I saw The Breakfast Club and heard this song. I also know that as a teenager I danced around my room to this song all the time. You know the part in Pitch Perfect that involves this song? Yes, it made me cry.
3. A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You by The Monkees. I've talked about my love of Davy Jones before and this song is just the best. There's this part when he sings, "I say girl" that is just excellent. I can't describe it, just listen to it.
4. Can't Hardly Wait by The Replacements. Maybe it's because this starts off with "I'll write you a letter tomorrow, Tonight I can't hold a pen" that this song made the list. Maybe it's Paul Westerberg's voice. Maybe it's the strings. I just can't say.
5. Satellite of Love by Lou Reed. I have a distinct memory of skating to this song at my first boy/girl skate party with a boy named Peter. This is an insane song to play at a 4th grader's party but that's why roller rinks were invented (or something). 

Honorable Mentions: "Heroes' by David Bowie, Without You by Motley Crue, I Woke Up in Love This Morning by David Cassidy, Little Heaven by Toad the Wet Sprocket, No Myth by Michael Penn, Your Song by Elton John, Lovely Day by Bill Withers, Because the Night by Patti Smith, Africa by Toto and Inside Out by the Mighty Lemon Drops.

So what are your five songs? Is there a song you couldn't live without?

All links to songs from youtube.com. Photo by me.

PSA: This is totally unrelated to the above post but I said I would do this so here it goes. You only need one space at the end of a sentence. Two spaces is incorrect and has been for some time now. And people have a lot of feelings about it. Two of my co-workers found this out at a meeting this week and were shocked. Yes, everything you learned in school is a lie.

Lazy Movie Weekend: Does Elvis talk to you?

This post is in no way shape or form about the great television show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'm a huge fan of the show but couldn't even begin to write anything about the it with any authority (especially given that one of my favorite episodes is "Once More with Feeling" - the one where they all end up singing the whole episode) and there are other people better suited to write about the show than me. Instead, I'm going to take us back to a wild time before we ever met Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy or thought about how much we love Spike (seriously, I prefer Spike over Angel every day of the week) and before Joss Whedon was the boss of all things ever (I'll basically watch anything he creates).

That time is 1992 and in 1992, Kristy Swanson was our Buffy. And it was awesome and hilarious. I can't even remember the first time I saw this movie but I know that I immediately loved it. It was one of the first non-Brat Pack/80s movies that I truly loved. So here we go, Island readers, the definitive list of why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the best.

1. Kristy Swanson as Buffy. First, this is Duckie's Duckette from Pretty in Pink so already this is the greatest casting ever. Second, do you remember the movie Deadly Friend in which Kristy's character is murdered by her abusive father but then "saved" by her nerdy neighbor friend when he replaces her brain with his robot pal? Yeah, go ahead and check that one out of Netflix (it's one of those only could have happened in the 80s horror movies). Swanson's Buffy a great combination of vapid teen and kick ass superhero. Remember, it's her keen fashion sense that saves the day (more on this later).
2. The soundtrack! It's like a little present from the 90s: C&C Music Factory, Matthew Sweet, Susanna Hoffs, The diVinyls, and Toad the Wet Sprocket. Can I live in the soundtrack for a bit? Between this and the Singles soundtrack, I could OD on nostalgia right now.
3. Seriously, it was 1992. People did crazy, crazy things. Like hang out with David Arquette.
4. I know Joss Whedon doesn't consider this the canon for Buffy. I appreciate that and agree but this is the beginning of a singularly kick-ass character and even if the movie is fluffier and sillier than intended, Buffy still rules. I would still want to be a vampire slayer even if this was the only Buffy I had ever seen.
5. This is Hillary Swank's first movie (she plays Buffy's most irritating friend, Kimberly). When she won her first Oscar for Boys Don't Cry and was all of the sudden a "serious actress" all I could think of was her saying "sitch" and the end credits when she thinks she's Miss America. 
6. When Buffy punches Merrick and "doesn't even break a nail." I have never punched anyone but I imagine I would break a nail and possibly my hand. Because I am not the Slayer.
7. A large number of the male cast was in the movie School Ties (Randall Bantikoff, Andrew Lowery, Ben Affleck- yes he is in this movie). I often wonder if they were trying for like a 90s version of the Brat Pack but it never worked out.
8. Buffy's Mom (Candy Clark) was Mary Lou in the David Bowie "masterpiece" The Man Who Fell to Earth. Rikki Lake is a waitress, Ben Affleck is on the rival basketball team, and Greuller was Don Dawson in Dazed and Confused. And Kristy Swanson's dad is the ref. Let's pack as many odd people into one movie as humanly possible. It'll be fun. David Bowie, Mick Jagger, and Cary Elwes were all supposed to play vampires as well but this was cut due to budget and time. (Fun fact right?)
9. Two words: Luke Perry. It was the 90s. Everyone watched Beverly Hills, 90210. I hated Brenda but loooooved Dylan and wanted him to realize what a waste of time Brenda was and move on (maybe my first real attachment to tv characters). I was so excited that Luke Perry was in this movie. And he's awesome. He rocks a vest, acts like a moron, saves the day (sort of) and there's that lovely dance at the end (more on this later). He's a dream. Except the facial hair - your weird soul patch has got to go.
10. Easily one of the most quotable movies I've ever seen (up there with Empire Records and Anchorman). "Pike's isn't a name, it's a fish." "You threw a knife at my head." "You're floating!" "Oh yeah, but you'd never call me." "Kill him a lot." "Does the word duh mean anything to you?" I could go on (and probably will) but you get the point. 
11. Paul Reubens is in this movie. When I first saw this movie all I could think of was "La-la-la-la-la. Connect the dots." I also really wanted a secret word during this movie (because it could have been duh and that would have been awesome). Paul Reubens will always be Pee-Wee Herman to a specific generation of people and I know he probably hates that. He's such a scene stealer in this movie and has the longest (into the credits) death sequence of any cinematic vampire of all time.
12. Rutger Hauer as Lothos, the Master. Fun fact about Rutger Hauer: Anne Rice always pictured him playing Lestat if any of her books were made into films. Probably would have been better than what we got (at least with Tom Cruise). Lothos sort of bothers me in this movie, mostly because he's hard to understand and doesn't seem very threatening even for a villain in a comedy. He looked a little too much like Edgar Allan Poe in the movie and I wanted him to be more, I guess.
13. "Does Elvis talk to you? Does he tell you to do things? Do you see spots?" Buffy to Merrick on finding out she's the Chosen One. This is my favorite quote! I used this all the time in high school and may need to bring it back to my life now because it's perfection.
14. Remember Doritos Light? 
15. Let's talk facial hair for a moment: Luke Perry's awful soul patch, Amilyn's (Paul Reubens) disastrous attempt to bring his old time-y fashion into the 90s, Lothos and Merrick both look like creepy old men (not in a scary movie way). The facial hair needed to be more seriously considered. It was a great moment with Luke Perry shaved his off. Collective 90210 fans everywhere sighed in relief.
16. I love the basketball coach. It's so 90s to have this "you're okay and special" kind of coach. "I am a person. I have a right to the ball."
17. So much fashion, so little taste. Jean jackets and short dresses, neon yellow leather jackets, chunky boots (why can't these come back in style?), chartreuse. 90s fashion slays me - pun intended.
18.  Question: Who gets to decorate the insides of lockers in movies? Is it the props people? The actors? I would be exceptionally good at that job.
19. Doesn't David Arquette look like a demented elf when he gets turned into a vampire? They all have weird ears, but he looks the most like a demented elf. 
20. When Buffy is sitting on the fresh grave (because she goes to a graveyard with a strange man on a school night) and asks Merrick for gum. He doesn't have any and she gives him this look. It's a look that every parent with a teenager has seen and now that I see it I want to apologize to my parents for being a jerky teen.
21. "All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die." That's all anyone wants to do.
22. Let's talk about Merrick: Donald Sutherland is a great actor but I can't stand him in this movie. Apparently, he rewrote most of the dialogue (which explains a lot) and was difficult to work with on the set (this comes from multiple sources including Joss Whedon's own comments). He's the appropriate kind of person to be a watcher but there's something too creepy about him and it doesn't work in a comedy. But I do enjoy him a little later in the movie when Buffy is training and he starts to see her potential. He's less creepy and it's better.
23. The song "I Ain't Gonna Eat Out My Heart Anymore" by The diVinyls. I looooooooove this song (by the way, it's a cover of a Young Rascals song). Anyway, this is Buffy's training song and it makes me want to do cartwheels and handsprings and toaster kicks too. And now you know two songs by The diVinyls.
24. Stephen Root as Principal Gary. Yes, it's Milton from Office Space in yet another bumbling, hilarious role. His rambling about taking acid at a Doobie Brothers concert and being a toaster is hilarious. And then Buffy kills a fly by spitting a thumb tack at it. 
25. Do you think Pike would have ended up living in his van? You know, down by the river? (It's just so easy to make 90s references work in any occasion.)
26. Buffy calls Merrick a "sconehead". Now, I don't watch Downton Abbey but when I was watching the movie, I got this image in my head of Maggie Smith calling some random character on that show a sconehead and I couldn't stop laughing. 
27. Do you think that every time Merrick is reborn as a Watcher he looks the same? Does he get to pick what he looks like or any of the parameters of his life? 
28. Did you know that both Seth Green and Chi Muoi Lo were in both the movie and on the tv show? Both play vampires at the dance at the end - you can barely see Seth Green (you know it's him because of the hair) and Chi Muoi Lo is the vampire that says something like "We want Buffy." You're welcome.
29. "Get out of my facial." This is the reason I hate Hillary Swank. I just can't with her. I don't even want to try to like her. Don't try to make arguments about her being a great actress or whatever. It won't work.
30. Buffy's keen fashion sense: I question this because of the horrible dress she wears to the dance (like Molly Ringwald - failing teen girls always) but then the dress sort of works and she uses hairspray and fire to get away from Lothos. I will say that I love the pink polka dot dress in the beginning, the green polka dot shirt when she meets Merrick, and her ability to wear jean jackets and not look weird. Slayer fashion should be a thing.
31. "You broke up with my machine?" Really Jeffrey? Really?
32. And then the Toad the Wet Sprocket song comes on at the dance. And Buffy is alone until Pike comes in and they dance. Is it wrong to have wanted a high school dance moment exactly like this when I was in high school? Or to want a high school dance moment exactly like this now? The song is called "Little Heaven" and I would like to dance to it exactly like in this movie (without the vampires and the terrible dress). Does anyone even listen to Toad the Wet Sprocket anymore? I love them.
33. Pike's jacket = Slayer badassness is about to happen. I love it when main characters in movies get awesome jackets and it somehow makes them even cooler. I watched The Matrix and couldn't wait for Neo to get his jacket. That was really all I cared about.
34. "Forget them. Live forever. We could start a band." Benny to Pike during the fight at the dance. What would a vampire band be called? What kind of music would they play? 
35. SPOILER ALERT (as if there haven't been a ton of those already): Lothos dies and then Pike actually asks Buffy to dance and they dance to no music and it is lovely.  And then a Susanna Hoffs song plays (it's called "We Close Our Eyes").
36. And then Pike and Buffy hop on his motorcycle and ride off into the sunset (although the sun isn't up but that's what they're doing I guess). All to a Susanna Hoffs song. Because it's 1992 and that's how we rolled.

Watch the end credits because there's a fun section that includes a slam on Young Republicans, the Hillary Swank Miss America moment, and Paul Reubens still dying. Also, if you sit through all the credits you can hear The diVinyls song again. It's so worth it.

So what have we learned today? That I spend way too much time thinking about movies. That we'd all rather be vampire slayers than cheerleaders. That just because it's not the canon doesn't mean it's not good. And that lazy movie weekends are the best weekends of all.

We all geek out about something - enjoy your geek moments. I know I do.

To skinny jean or not to skinny jean?

Hello Island readers! Welcome to the first post of 2013. I trust everyone had a wonderful New Year's Eve and spent New Year's Day as everyone should: sleeping in, eating breakfast food all day, and lying on your couch watching Pitch Perfect. Face it, lying on your couch is not that different from mermaid dancing.

As I discussed in my last post of 2012, 2013 is the year that I do a better job at being the leading lady in my own life. The only way to make sure that I do this and achieve leading lady status is to select things that I can do to achieve this goal. The only way to know you've achieved a goal is to quantify it so I've decided that I need to put some actual parameters around how to do this. So of course, that means a list. I don't have all the specifics worked out yet but here's my first draft:

• Get involved in volunteering again
• Take a dance class (maybe tap or ballroom just because)
• Go to Paris
• Be the instigator of plans 
• Allow my friends to set me up on blind dates (I mean, why not?)
• Be more spontaneous (I'm not sure how one quantifies this but that may be the point)
• Be more daring in my fashion choices and dress like a leading lady

Today we focus on this last one since I'm struggling to define my fashion identity. I'm not sure that I've ever really had one. In high school, I wore a lot of black and baggy clothes (I would say this was because I was on the tech crew for most shows we did but really it was a self-esteem thing). I did try to branch out more in college - wore more skirts and dresses and "going out" clothes (at least my version thereof). I even wore tank tops without a cardigan. Crazy times.

The cardigan has probably been the only real staple of my wardrobe over the years. I believe I may have actually been called "Cardigan Girl" at one point but I may also be making that up. Clearly, I am a Southern lady since I do love a sweater set (and we all know how much Southern ladies love sweater sets). In college I was particularly attached to sweater sets. My favorite was a baby blue one (really?) with embroidered flowers and a little tank top to match. It was from the Gap if I remember correctly.  But I also really like cardigans in a punk rock, Patti Smith, grunge sort of way. I love long cardigans because they somehow feel fancy and having a cardigan is always a good idea. I've also come to embrace dark jeans as my favorite fashion invention of all time. Yes, I would like to wear a pair of jeans that make my legs look longer and are slimming all at the same time. But there really are only so many combinations of cardigans, basic tees, and dark jeans that I can get away with. At some point, I need to dress like a leading lady. And if I'm following the Kate Winslet school of leading ladydom, then I need to invest in some wonderfully tailored blouses, a blazer or two, and a few "perfect" dresses. And scarves - Kate knows how to rock a scarf unironically.

It's also possible that I will need to embrace two items of clothing that I have sworn to never wear: skinny jeans and knee high/mid-calf boots. Now don't get all excited - there are some people who look marvelous in skinny jeans. Many of my friends are those people. And all of them can rock knee high or mid-calf boots like champs. I envy their easy relationship with their boots and the carefree way in which they accessorize with scarves and cute jewelry (it's like they already went through leading lady school with Ms. Winslet). I, on the other hand, have large calves and feel like skinny jeans accentuate the parts of my legs that dark jeans (non-skinny variety) help to make awesome.

But things change don't they? On New Year's Day instead of eating breakfast food all day and watching Pitch Perfect, I spent the day with my parents. We watched football (seriously Michigan?) and had a nice dinner together that did not involve breakfast food. Most importantly, my mother gave me a pair of purple skinny jeans. I have no idea what possessed my mother to purchase them (originally for herself by the way) and I have absolutely no idea why I really like them. I didn't think I would but I do. A lot. So much, in fact, that I am now on the hunt for a pair of boots to wear with them. I own ankle boots but those don't look right and if I'm going to take the plunge and wear skinny jeans, shouldn't I get the boots to match?

Now just because I'm accepting one pair of skinny jeans into my life does not mean that I accept skinny jeans for all. I still stand by my previous comments on men and skinny jeans (or as my friend Daniella likes to say, "he'd be cuter if he had worn different pants"). This is simply a fashion experiment for me. How will I know that I don't like them if I don't try wearing them? So this weekend I will find the perfect (and affordable) pair of boots to wear when I rock those purple skinny jeans. And I will begin my journey of being a fashionable leading lady.