Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Pumpkin has a lot of feelings

I know everyone has been patiently awaiting the return of National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day (January 22). Clearly, this is one of the most important made up, random holidays our nation has to offer. I found out about this holiday last year all because I follow Pee-Wee Herman on Twitter (do yourself a favor and follow him - it's like a burst of sunshine in an otherwise cynical and mean Twitterverse). Last year, I answered some of Pumpkin's most pressing questions and I feel like she appreciated it.

A lot has happened since last National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day and I think Pumpkin has even more to ask this year. I'm fairly certain that she's going to be a little grumpier (she's really come into her own as a grumpy old lady cat) and maybe even a little mean. It's cool - I still love her and will answer her questions honestly. Also, there will be cute photos of her (because you know you love her too).

I also hope that my friends who have added cats to their families this year will take the time today to seriously address their own cat's questions. Don't act like you don't talk to your pets - you know you do.

Pumpkin's 2013 Questions:
  1. Why did we move back to Virginia? Let's see: I am a nomad, my boss really wanted me to move back to our office here, I missed our family (and you did too - admit it), and most importantly, I don't believe that we were meant for California. We're not Californians. We're not Virginians either but we'll get it right someday.
  2. Do you realize that our apartment is very small? Yes, I do. Let me explain Northern Virginia real estate to you. Unless you want to live in the country (and by country I mean Prince William or Loudoun counties), you make the decision to rent a small apartment near enough to where you work that's not terrible but costs more than it should and doesn't have a guarantee of a parking space unless you pay more money and is much smaller than you're used to and has no charm. Because you'd like to not have to drive for hours or commute for hours on the Metro. Think of it this way, it's small but it only takes me 10 minutes to get back and forth to work so in theory, I have more time to spend with you.
  3. So because our apartment is so small, is it okay for me to jump on top of the refrigerator and/or the cabinets? Actually it's fine. You seem to have figured out your exit strategies (finally-it only took you 11 years) so I'm fine with you sitting on top of the refrigerator or cabinets. The counters and table are still off limits - we still have rules in this house.
  4. Why exactly do you come home late from work? And I don't just mean like an hour late - I'm talking several hours late. There seems to be debate about whether cats can or cannot sense time or the length of time a person is away. Two of our vets have told me that you have no concept of the time that has passed especially given that you have toys, a window to look out of during the day, and plenty of spaces to nap. However, other sources say that cats are organized on schedules and so while it may appear that you sleep 18 hours a day it's really your schedule and when I don't interrupt said schedule with food or attention, you get grumpy and mean. And you do get grumpy and mean. So I will make you a deal, I will try to stay to the schedule as much as possible but you agree that Mama gets a night or two out sometimes or does in fact, have to work late. Cat food can't be purchased with cuteness so you'll have to deal.
  5. Where is that lady that gave me treats and sat with me during the day when you weren't around? What happened to her? You mean my mom? We saw her at Christmas and she was here two weekends ago. She doesn't live in our apartment so the whole "let me feed the little cat treats from my hand" routine is over for you. I think she may have spoiled you a bit too much when you stayed there over the summer. It's your cute face - people have a hard time resisting.
  6. Oh I'm sorry, does my playing with the blinds annoy you? Yes, it does. Especially when it's the window in the bedroom and it's 3 am. Remember, I don't sleep 18 hours a day or whatever you sleep so knock it off. 
  7. What's up with the whole tumblr blog thing? Do you need a real hobby? Isn't blogging a hobby? I guess maybe not in your eyes. Have you seen the tumblr blog? You and the dog are adorable. And you've been reblogged twice. You're famous (or something).
  8. So it's not okay to sit on the bed or couch after I've just rolled around in the shower after you've finished? No, it's not okay. Wet couch and wet comforter are two things I don't want to deal with. I don't get the fascination you have with the shower but I'm glad that you jump in only after I'm done. Please just stay off the couch and the bed until you are dry.
  9. What is this warm, metal square that you use all the time? Can I have it? My laptop is not a toy for you. I know it's warm and so tempting for you to lay on or against it and to rub your little face on the edges but I'm working right now and you're in the way. And yes, during the hurricane my training group in Illinois thought it was hilarious and adorable that you were in the background making noise because I was ignoring you (to do my job) but the next group might not find you as adorable so let's agree to have some boundaries on days I work from home. 
  10. Do you know where my penguin is? I don't but we'll find it. I know you love penguin more than your other toys. Did you check under the chair? I suspect it's under a piece of furniture since when you do play you tend to throw your toys around and they end up under things. I would suggest playing with pirate mouse, owl, or flying squirrel until we find penguin. 
  11. If we can't find penguin, can we get an actual penguin? I'm sorry but we cannot get an actual penguin. Where would we keep a penguin? I'm not even sure a person can legally own a penguin in the state of Virginia so you'll have to settle for your toy version. We will find penguin. Relax.
Do you have a question that you think Pumpkin wants answered? Add it in the comments and I'll do my best to answer them all.

And just because she's adorable, enjoy some more photos of Pumpkin. For the record, I am not a crazy cat lady. I only play one on the Island.

Pumpkin does her best Liz Taylor. She was preparing to watch Liz&Dick on Lifetime.

Pumpkin and Penguin

And just because, two adorable cat posts from Buzzfeed, your number 1 source of awesome cat posts always.

The 15 Best Things About Cat Bedtime
Cat Petting Guide

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