I forgot that anything can happen on Halloween...

I know I said last week that the Island was on a break until after the election, BUT I had a realization this morning about this weekend, so you get a bonus post. You're welcome.  

Halloween is this Saturday. I know, Halloween is on a Saturday! Additionally, there's a full moon, Mercury is in retrograde (I guess), and daylight savings time is this weekend. That's a lot of stuff in one weekend. Normally, I like to post a video from the 1986 classic The Worst Witch on Halloween. It's a little song called "Anything Can Happen on Halloween" performed by Tim Curry. I've always felt this section was the weirdest part of the movie, but I also love it because it's Tim Curry. In a normal year, there would be absolutely nothing wrong with me posting this video and encouraging y'all to get out there any enjoy Halloween. 

But...it's 2020. Posting a video of a song called "Anything Can Happen on Halloween" is a terrible idea. I don't trust whatever forces are controlling this year. They/It/Whatever might decide my posting of the video means that they/it/whatever can unleash murder gerbils or broken glass hail. I can't risk it. This got me thinking: if I shouldn't post this video, what other things shouldn't any of you do this Halloween? 

Because I care about you, I put together a list of ten things you should avoid doing at all costs this Halloween. This year, which is legitimately the longest year on record, is not the year to leave anything to chance. I'm also not a monster, so I've thrown in ten alternative activities to get you through the weekend. 

Ten Things to Avoid This Halloween

1. Don't accept anything, candy, directions, voting advice, from a stranger. This is good advice normally, but it's particularly helpful this year. Check your sources, and only eat candy you've personally purchased or you steal from your kid's stash.
2. If you happen upon a woodland creature or a very majestic forest cat who seems to want you to go on a quest, DO NOT GO ON THE QUEST. 
3. Are you excavating something right now? Stop. Put down the tools. Step away from the large hole you dug. If you continue to dig and find a skull, jars, the GOP's spine, put it back, cover it up, and move. You can't live on top of that mess. 
4. Related: don not open any tombs, graves, or other ancient sealed locations. They were sealed for a reason. 
5. This is mostly for my friends in Louisiana, but everyone should still listen. If you find an old bottle buried near the river (or other body of water), leave it there. Don't move it. Don't add it to your weird antique bottle collection. Leave it be and maybe leave something to appease who/what was watching over that bottle. If you really need antique bottles, go on Etsy and buy that shit like a normal person. 
6. Avoid any type of abandoned institution, particularly hospitals, prisons, and asylums. They were abandoned for a reason.
7. Don't buy a wreck of a car from an old man on a whim. That car is haunted. It will kill your friends. 
8. While tempting, there is no reason to go anywhere near the site of "unspeakable horrors" in the town where you live. It may sound innocent to go visit the birthplace of Mitch McConnell, but you're only feeding his weird turtle energy. Stay home!
9. Don't be rude to your elders. This is how curses happen. 
10. No Ouija boards of other summoning devices. There is no reason for you to summon a demon or open a hellmouth this Halloween. I would even avoid Scrabble; you don't know if spelling an innocent word like "oxyphenbutazone" will cause the end of the world. Don't tempt the fates. (Fun fact: oxyphenbutazone is the highest scoring word in Scrabble, coming in at 1778 points. It's an obsolete anti-inflammatory drug.) 

Ten Things to Do on Halloween

1. Stay home! I know your house is getting old, but all of this will be over so much sooner if we all stay home. 
2. Wear a mask. It's Halloween so you can really go to town with this one. Break out that hockey mask and do your best Jason Voorhes impression. This is your moment. 
3. Enjoy all of the candy you bought because no one is trick or treating this year. Pair it with wine! If you really want to imbibe, I suggest pairing bourbon with any chocolate/peanut butter candy. It's delicious.
4. Watch scary movies. Check out Pumpkin's 2016 recommendations. She was a smart cat. 
5. Carve a pumpkin. Bonus points if it's voting themed.
6. Go to bed early. The time change is about to happen, and that screws us all up. Get some extra sleep while you can. 
7. Tell scary stories or read a scary novel. I've recently finished Mexican Gothic and Stephen King's new short story collection, If It Bleeds. Highly recommend both. 
8. Dress up your pet! You spend 24 hours a day (basically) with your pet now attending to their whims, the least they can do for you is allow you to put them in a costume for one day without plotting your demise.
9. Make a "a meteor may hit the Earth the day before the election" kit. I don't really know what would go in this kit, but it would be fun to see what everyone comes up with. Bourbon? Would that be a good thing to include?
10. Finalize your voting plan! Election Day is just days away. If you haven't voted yet, use this time to get your voting plan in order. Check out I Will Vote for resources. Already voted? Awesome - you are doing your part! Submit your voting story to my Be a Good Citizen Project so you can get some free original art for being a good citizen. 

Happy Halloween! Let's all do our part to stave off the end of the world for at least a few more days. 

As an added bonus, please enjoy this photo from last year when I made Keely wear a Halloween tie. He hated it. I thought he was adorable. 

Reminder: Show your good citizenry! Check out this post for the details of my Be a Good Citizen Project. Use this link to complete a short questionnaire on your good citizen-ing. The deadline for submissions has been extended until December 1. I'm like the Oprah of rewarding good citizenship: "You get a piece of original art! And you get a piece of original art.

10 Days

Reminder: Show your good citizenry! Check out this post for the details of my Be a Good Citizen project. Use this link to complete a short questionnaire on your good citizen-ing. The deadline for submissions has been extended until December 1. I'm like the Oprah of rewarding good citizenship: "You get a piece of original art! And you get a piece of original art!"

What's fun about writing a sort of weekly blog is that I can look back at a fixed point in time and see what I was doing at that time. Memories may fade, but the internet is forever. While I don't remember all the details of exactly what I was doing 10 days before the 2016 election, the Island reminds me of these three posts in the weeks leading up to the election:

• Down a the Rock N Roll Club - I went to the Green Day concert at the 9:30 Club. Remember concerts?
• Twenty-Two Questions - In which I pose 22 questions about how horrible/ridiculous the 2016 election cycle was. How I wish all of you had listened to 2016 me and voted very differently, or you know, voted at all. 
• Lazy Movie Weekend: Pumpkin's Guide to Halloween Movies - Yes, dear Pumpkin was still with us, being all judge-y and helpful with recommending her top ten Halloween movies. Keely would love to tell you his, but he's too busy staring at the same spot on ceiling. Obviously, we have a ghost. 

That 22 Questions post! Some of those questions are still very relevant today. It's odd to think that so much has changed in four years, but so much has stayed the same. The first question was, "When did the GOP get so weak?" and that's followed by several additional questions where I ask how members, particularly someone like John McCain (who was still alive), could align themselves with someone like the 45. It's like I was trying to tell y'all something and some of you didn't listen. Or you did listen, but you were like, "But her emails" or "I can't  vote for a lady who looks that stunning in a white pant suit. What will the neighbors think?"

We're 10 days from the election. Over 40 million people have voted early, and according to The Washington Post, we've exceeded the numbers of people voting early in 2016 (114%). In some states, more people have voted early than voted total in 2016. People are waiting hours to vote in some places. While on the surface this is patriotic and awesome, it also points to a larger issue we have in this country: voter suppression. Long lines don't just means record numbers of people voting. They also mean there "may be" (are) inadequate numbers of polling locations open or not enough poll workers to support the numbers. All polling locations have put safety protocols in place because of the pandemic, which means it takes more time between voters. For a democracy, we have a complex and poorly managed voting system that is, as I told someone earlier this week, designed to keep voters away. That we have record numbers of people voting early is a testament to the power of voting, and I hope this means we can finally have a conversation about making voting fair and equitable. 

Obviously, we're still in the middle of the a global pandemic. This is a huge difference between 10 days before the 2016 election and now. Let's not be cute, we're still in the middle of this in the US. We have no national testing plan. We had the highest rate of new cases since July this past week, with a record number of cases being recorded in one day. The 45 and members of his staff and family all have tested positive, and still nothing changes. People are still being assholes about wearing masks in public. Rather than keep people away from the polls, there's seems to be an energy around voting that I haven't felt since Obama's first run. People, and it's across the political spectrum, want to be heard. The days of letting someone else's vote matter more than yours are done. That people are a waiting in long lines, in the middle of a pandemic, illustrates this clearly. 

Which leads me to the last thing that is different from 2016 to 2020: my feelings going into this election. In 2016, I volunteered for the Clinton campaign. I wasn't the most active volunteer, but I did a lot locally, and worked on Election Day as a poll place greeter. I was excited. I was hopeful (not Obama level hopeful, but hopeful). I wore my Hillary shirt and helped answer questions about the ballot for people going into vote. I posed for a photo with one of my state representatives, and made an appearance on his Twitter feed that day. I went home and watched the returns, like I've done every election that I can remember. It was not a good night. I woke up hoping it was all a bad dream, but it wasn't. And here we are, four years later in a very bad place. 

So as I go into this election in 10 days, I'm more reserved. The pandemic and everything that has happened since May, has heightened my feeling of existential dread, something I didn't feel in 2016. My role is different this year. As an election officer it's my job to make sure people can have a safe voting experience. I'm nervous, not because it's overwhelming to think that my job is to make sure you get to vote, but because I really don't know what's going to happen on Election Day. Are people going to be violent? Are people going to wear masks and not complain about it? Can we really offer a safe election day to everyone? What happens when we find out who won?  

I feel small glimmers of hope, not big hope like in 2008 or 2012 or 2016, but little hope. I've scaled my level of hope to my expectations about 2020 as a whole. As I wrote back in August, which feels like a century ago, I really want to go back to a time when I can write about movies or ask my cat questions or discuss my inevitable march toward being an old lady who yells at children to get off the lawn, but we're not there yet. I'd love to spend time detailing my foray into making an Election Cake, but I wonder if that's still too frivolous for where we are today.  

The next 10 days are going to be difficult on many levels. Do yourself a favor and reduce the number of hours of news you watch. Pumpkin recommended 10 movies back in 2016; watch those instead (Keely would like to add that if you can find it watch The Stand (the 1994 version) or The Monster Squad). If you haven't voted yet, make a plan to do so, either early or on Election Day. Check on your family and friends, and make sure they've voted or are planning to. Be nice to your polling place volunteers; we're there to ensure you can safely vote - don't be an asshole. And please, whatever you do, don't write in anyone on the ballot. Don't waste your vote. 

The Island will be back after Election Day!

I left my house for the weekend

I'm sitting in a hotel room in Richmond watching Corpse Bride. It's funny because I'm in town for a wedding. It's also probably not funny because I'm in town for a wedding. My sense of humor is an acquired taste. But...it's also 31 Days of Halloween on Freeform and I don't have cable at home, so I feel obligated to watch it. 

I haven't been this far away from my house since March. I haven't stayed in a hotel since February. I haven't worn makeup or heels since March (probably?). I haven't been around a large group of mostly people I don't know since March 7 when I took my brother to a DC United game for his birthday. My life exists in a small bubble of sameness: get up at 5 to feed the cat and work out, work from home, make dinner, binge watch sixteen seasons of Top Chef, make some embroidery art, go to the grocery. Occasionally, I get wild and go to Target or Michaels. Sometimes I order food from DoorDash. Last weekend, I had socially distant tacos and coffee with friends. I'm sure my pandemic life is similar to a lot of people. We're trying hard to do the right thing since we can't rely on federal leadership to do anything to help manage what's going on. We should be able to, but we can't. Ratings are more important than people's lives, at least that's what the Idiot in Chief thinks. 

But I digress.

Doing normal things during an incredibly abnormal time feels strange. I talk about this all the time with friends and co-workers. The amount of extra planning that goes into doing things like getting a cup of coffee with someone now involves looking at all the angles. Is there outdoor seating? If not, is there an open space nearby? Do you have to pre-order the coffee? Can you pay with a card only? How close is the line to get into the coffee shop to the outdoor seating area? How many people is too many people? Do I have enough hand sanitizer? So many questions to get a cup of coffee. 

I know many people have put plans on hold for things like weddings, and I'm sorry that's something people have to do. The wedding I'm attending was supposed to be a month ago, in a different venue. The couple had to re-plan everything and found a new venue, outdoors, to give people more space and feel more comfortable throughout the day. It's a smaller event, with a lot of people who live locally. I appreciate all the work that went into ensuring we all feel safe while we celebrate their day. 

I also know some people reading this will judge me and the couple and the others in attendance. I get it, I do. I've thought about whether to attend this wedding a lot. As someone who has been telling everyone to be responsible and do the things we're being asked to slow down the spread of this virus, I asked myself if I was being irresponsible. My bubble is my parents and my brother. They're the only people I regularly see, and I stay home and am careful so I can continue to see them once or twice a month. I can also say I've done nothing but be safe and think of others since March. I stay home, I wear my mask, I only make necessary trips to the store. I wash my hands all the time. Since I live alone, I can easily self-isolate for the next two weeks just in case. This will get me to Halloween. Then it's Election Day, and I'll do the same thing after that day. If all goes as planned, I'll see my family for Thanksgiving. Since I plan to break the bubble, I plan to stay away from the bubble until I know I won't cause them any harm. That's how it works.

And so I sit in my hotel room watching Corpse Bride. Normally, I'd go for a walk or find some fun local activity to do until I need to get ready to go to the wedding later today. There's no reason to wander or browse or meander. I went as far as the lobby cafe for coffee. I'll venture out in a little while to find something for lunch. I'm trying to figure out which mask goes with my dress because that's a thing we have to do now...masks, but make it fashion. It feels decadent to sit in bed, drinking coffee and watching a random movie away from home. It feels decadent being away from my house. 

But I'm glad I ventured away from my bubble, if just for a few days. The joy of seeing my friend get married is worth the planning and the considerations. Joy is a form of resilience, and we all need to find it were we can.  

Reminder: Show your good citizenry! Check out this post for the details of my Be a Good Citizen project. Use this link to complete a short questionnaire on your good citizen-ing. I'm like the Oprah of rewarding good citizenship: "You get a piece of original art! And you get a piece of original art!"