I left my house for the weekend

I'm sitting in a hotel room in Richmond watching Corpse Bride. It's funny because I'm in town for a wedding. It's also probably not funny because I'm in town for a wedding. My sense of humor is an acquired taste. But...it's also 31 Days of Halloween on Freeform and I don't have cable at home, so I feel obligated to watch it. 

I haven't been this far away from my house since March. I haven't stayed in a hotel since February. I haven't worn makeup or heels since March (probably?). I haven't been around a large group of mostly people I don't know since March 7 when I took my brother to a DC United game for his birthday. My life exists in a small bubble of sameness: get up at 5 to feed the cat and work out, work from home, make dinner, binge watch sixteen seasons of Top Chef, make some embroidery art, go to the grocery. Occasionally, I get wild and go to Target or Michaels. Sometimes I order food from DoorDash. Last weekend, I had socially distant tacos and coffee with friends. I'm sure my pandemic life is similar to a lot of people. We're trying hard to do the right thing since we can't rely on federal leadership to do anything to help manage what's going on. We should be able to, but we can't. Ratings are more important than people's lives, at least that's what the Idiot in Chief thinks. 

But I digress.

Doing normal things during an incredibly abnormal time feels strange. I talk about this all the time with friends and co-workers. The amount of extra planning that goes into doing things like getting a cup of coffee with someone now involves looking at all the angles. Is there outdoor seating? If not, is there an open space nearby? Do you have to pre-order the coffee? Can you pay with a card only? How close is the line to get into the coffee shop to the outdoor seating area? How many people is too many people? Do I have enough hand sanitizer? So many questions to get a cup of coffee. 

I know many people have put plans on hold for things like weddings, and I'm sorry that's something people have to do. The wedding I'm attending was supposed to be a month ago, in a different venue. The couple had to re-plan everything and found a new venue, outdoors, to give people more space and feel more comfortable throughout the day. It's a smaller event, with a lot of people who live locally. I appreciate all the work that went into ensuring we all feel safe while we celebrate their day. 

I also know some people reading this will judge me and the couple and the others in attendance. I get it, I do. I've thought about whether to attend this wedding a lot. As someone who has been telling everyone to be responsible and do the things we're being asked to slow down the spread of this virus, I asked myself if I was being irresponsible. My bubble is my parents and my brother. They're the only people I regularly see, and I stay home and am careful so I can continue to see them once or twice a month. I can also say I've done nothing but be safe and think of others since March. I stay home, I wear my mask, I only make necessary trips to the store. I wash my hands all the time. Since I live alone, I can easily self-isolate for the next two weeks just in case. This will get me to Halloween. Then it's Election Day, and I'll do the same thing after that day. If all goes as planned, I'll see my family for Thanksgiving. Since I plan to break the bubble, I plan to stay away from the bubble until I know I won't cause them any harm. That's how it works.

And so I sit in my hotel room watching Corpse Bride. Normally, I'd go for a walk or find some fun local activity to do until I need to get ready to go to the wedding later today. There's no reason to wander or browse or meander. I went as far as the lobby cafe for coffee. I'll venture out in a little while to find something for lunch. I'm trying to figure out which mask goes with my dress because that's a thing we have to do now...masks, but make it fashion. It feels decadent to sit in bed, drinking coffee and watching a random movie away from home. It feels decadent being away from my house. 

But I'm glad I ventured away from my bubble, if just for a few days. The joy of seeing my friend get married is worth the planning and the considerations. Joy is a form of resilience, and we all need to find it were we can.  

Reminder: Show your good citizenry! Check out this post for the details of my Be a Good Citizen project. Use this link to complete a short questionnaire on your good citizen-ing. I'm like the Oprah of rewarding good citizenship: "You get a piece of original art! And you get a piece of original art!"

Lazy Movie Weekend: It's as good as Dancing Queen

I have a very specific memory of my 18th birthday: I'm sitting in my bedroom in lovely Burke, VA writing in my journal (because that's what we all did) and listening to the song "Dancing Queen". I don't remember if this was later in the evening after celebrating or sometime during the day. I just remember sitting there listening to that song and thinking of one of my favorite movies Muriel's Wedding. At one point in the movie, Muriel says she hasn't listened to any ABBA songs because her life is as good as an ABBA; "It's as good as Dancing Queen." I guess that's what I was thinking about that day; one day my life would be as good as an ABBA song.

I've seen this movie a hundred (probably). It's not a completely happy rom-com but it's funny and dark and sad and genius all at the same time. This is one of my favorite Australian comedies followed closely by Strictly Ballroom. The 1990s were a prime time for Australian movies that didn't involve Baz Luhrmann. 

I just got back home from attending my cousin's beautiful wedding so I thought we'd spend this long, lazy movie weekend celebrating all things love and weddings with a trip back to 1994 and Muriel's adventures in Porpoise Spit, Australia. Grab your favorite girly drink, some wedding cake, and your best ABBA inspired dance moves and settle in for Muriel's Wedding.

• This was Rachel Griffiths first movie and Toni Collette's second. The movie was a huge international hit and would propel them both into larger roles and Hollywood fame.
• PJ Hogan, the film's director, had to beg the members of ABBA to allow the use of their music in the film. They agreed (for a share of the profits) and were pleasantly surprised when the film was so successful. Muriel's Wedding is the reason the musical Mamma Mia!, the Broadway musical (and it's sad film sister) exist. 
• The movie is #911 on Steven Schneider's 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.
• Let's talk about the opening sequence at the wedding - that is my nightmare. All the single women going crazy at the thought of catching the bouquet so they can be "next." It's one of those scenes that reminds us all about how ridiculous some traditions are and how primal women can be. Thank you to all my friends who have gotten married and not done this at the reception. Your resident single friend appreciates it more than you know. 
  
• Muriel's "friends" are the absolute worst - apparently it's a rule that in every rom-com there has to be a group of women who are terrible. I'll refer to this group as the "Aussie Plastics" for the rest of this post (Means Girls will be a future LMW. I promise.)
• Those bridesmaids dresses - the color, the poof, the bow, the headpiece. Bridesmaids dresses are just mean.
• Why would you waste cake by putting it under your pillow to dream of the man you're going to marry? My future husband would know (instinctually, of course) that we don't waste cake like this. Cake is for enjoying not for napping on.
• Someone is a bad bridesmaid and an even worse husband. Now Muriel has secrets. 
• Are store detectives a thing? Does anyone know a store detective? I'd really like to meet one.
• Just remember, Porpoise Spit is the jewel of the North Coast.
• "You're terrible, Muriel." Muriel's sister, Joanie. The Heslop family is a lot to take in. The horrible dad (played by the brilliant Bill Hunter), the sad mom, the laziest children ever. This is why Muriel listens to ABBA songs.
• "Bill Heslop - You Can't Stop Progress" Joanie: He lost. It's so funny.
• F-ing Deidre Chambers - that's how I refer to this woman every time she's on screen. Her geisha comment is one of the worst casually racist comments in the entire film (and there are several).
• I hate the scene at Breakers (the most cliched beach bar name ever). It's funny on some levels ("Like Chuck. He's up on my level.") but so soul-crushing on others. "I'm know I'm not normal..." and Muriel shouting "I'm not nothing!" - this is a darker rom-com than most. We haven't gotten to the plot line involving cancer yet.
• "I'm going to be a success, Mum. I'm going to get married and be a success." I don't like this definition of success but I'm saying it in my head as I type in an Australian accent. 
• My second nightmare: all inclusive resort trips. Mandatory fun at it's worst but Muriel seems to be having a great time. 
• Finally we meet Rhonda (Rachel Griffiths). She is the cool friend everyone needs in their life. She's a badass, super fun, and does not give any effs about the Aussie Plastics. It's genius. "You're wicked!" 
• "I'm not alone. I'm with Muriel." Love it!
• That "Waterloo" lip sync is amazing. I'm hopeful that the show Lip Sync Battle will get Toni and Rachel to come on and recreate this amazing moment. Someone should call them and make this happen.
  
•  Muriel: Do you ever think you're nothing? Sometimes I think I'm nothing. Rhonda: You're not nothing, Muriel. You're amazing. Of course this is followed by Rhonda talking about how awesome it is that Muriel has a fiancee, Tim Sims (fake of course). His name is based on two popular snacks in Australia, Tim Tams and Dim Sims.
• Is Sydney really the City of Brides?
• Muriel's haircut is one of my favorite things in the movie. The power of a flattering haircut cannot be overstated. 
• Poor Brice. Muriel should have given him more of chance. "I'm a terrible dancer." We all are, Brice. We all are.
• I'm fairly certain we've all had nights/dates like Muriel and Brice's minus the cancer, naked American soldier, and broken window. I don't know everyone's life so maybe this is exactly how your Friday nights go down. The thought I always have during this sequence is that Rhonda and Muriel need real furniture in their living room.
• Rhonda is rushed to the hospital and Muriel calls home to find out that they know she stole all their money. "Dr. Farrell says he needs a holiday from us." Muriel's mom, Betty, tells her.
• So if you best friend is in the hospital and has to have surgery to remove a discreet tumor from her spine and your family is a mess, what do you do? If you're Muriel you try on every wedding dress in Sydney and tell lies to get the sales girls to take photos of you in them so you can take the photos to your sister who's in a coma. Seems legit.
• Muriel's pep talk to Rhonda: "When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen."
• Of course Rhonda finds out about the wedding dresses and that Tim Sims was fake. Muriel is basically all of us when it comes to be single and hating it: "If I can get married it means I've changed. I'm a new person." 
• F-ing Deidre Chambers. Seriously this woman. Bill Heslop cannot help himself with embarrassing restaurant business meetings.
• Muriel's second way of dealing with problems: Enter into a marriage of convenience with a South African swimmer with Olympic hopes who needs an Australian wife to qualify for the team. As one does. She also reverts to listening to "Dancing Queen" again so maybe her life isn't as good anymore.
• Mariel's Wedding (did I mention she changed her name?): So many things...
• The Aussie Plastics are back as bridesmaids, looking like peach tulle nightmares.
• F-ing Deidre Chambers is apparently Muriel's mom now.
• Muriel's mom barely makes it to the wedding and Muriel ignores her (not intentionally).
• Poor Brice ends up attending for some unknown, masochistic reason.
• "Mariel, you're beautiful." - Tania (Aussie Plastic)
• "I Do, I Do, I Do" is her entrance music - perfect. I would probably do something like this if I ever got married.
•  David's coach, "I should have hired you some friends." 
  
•  Friend breakups are the worst thing in the world. Rhonda sums it up perfectly, "Mariel VanArckle stinks."
• David is an interesting character. He judges Muriel so much for wanting to do the same thing he wants to do: win. The problem is that she believes she can win only if she's married. Someone needs to sit Muriel down and talk about life choices. 
• Muriel's mom makes my heart sad. She deserved a lot more than her husband and most of her children gave her. Joanie's grief is so powerful. Her father is terrible and that stupid letter from a former Prime Minister is the worst. 
• Muriel finally realizes it's not about being married but about being her - her awesome self. David also shows up too and that's not awkward at all. "I don't love you either but I think I could like having you around."
• She finally tells her dad what's what and it's a great scene between the two of them in the burned up backyard. "We're not nothing." 
• The final scene with the Aussie Plastics and Rhonda's mom is one of my favorites in the movie. Tania screams, "I'm married. I'm beautiful!" and you have to laugh. Muriel and Rhonda say goodbye to Porpoise Spit as they should. The only question I have is did Rhonda's mom send her all her stuff? Is that how it all worked in the end.

I love this movie for so many reasons. Muriel is us all; looking for her place in the world and trying to figure out who she is. I like knowing that Toni Collette and Rachel Griffiths became friends during filming; you can see their actual friendship on screen. It's the best part of the entire movie. Muriel is amazing; she just has to figure that out for herself.

In need of more wedding movies for your long weekend? Here are few more of my favorites:

• Bridesmaids
• Monsoon Wedding
• The Wedding Planner
• Corpse Bride 
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding
• Mystic Pizza
• The Wedding Singer
• Rachel Getting Married
• Mamma Mia! -  I can't help but love this movie. Pierce Brosnan should never, ever sing but I will listen to him sing "S.O.S" in this movie and love it every time.

Images:
1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die
Promo Poster
Waterloo
Muriel at the wedding
Muriel's Wedding 
Muriel

Mary Kay Minions

I've only been in three weddings: I was the flower girl in my aunt's wedding and a bridesmaid and maid of honor in the weddings of my college roommates. I admit that I lucked out in the bride/bridesmaid department; neither Heather nor Kelly were out of control brides and given that none of us lived in the same state at the time of either wedding, there weren't all the events and fittings and everything else that goes into weddings. I still have the skirt I wore in Heather's wedding and would have the one I wore in Kelly's but I donated it last year because it was too big. I love both of my friends dearly but the fact that neither became a wedding monster makes me adore them too. My only responsibilities in my aunt's wedding were to walk down the aisle and look adorable. I'm fairly certain I accomplished both.

My point in all of this is that I've basically been a fake bridesmaid my entire life. I've never really had to suffer for a bride and the glory of posing in wedding photos. I've never had to wear sea foam green dress that made me resemble a mermaid. I've never helped a bride go to the bathroom in her dress or played interference with a mother-in-law or annoying cousin. I can only hope that if I get married I will offer my bridesmaids the same courtesy and thoughtfulness.

Since I'm already a fake bridesmaid, it made sense for me to join two of my friends on a little adventure today that involved Mary Kay, Legos, a lot of pink, the perfect technique for taking a selfie, and the kind of enthusiasm that only a true performer can create. Let me set the stage for you:

The Cast
Lindsey - Bride to be, new to the area and one of the nicest people I know. Her wedding is in June and she won a Bridal Bash day of pampering for her and her bridesmaids from Mary Kay. Since her bridesmaids live elsewhere, she asked Jordana and I to fill in. Lindsey deserves a day of pampering and to have an amazing wedding.

Jordana - Regular Island readers will remember Jordana from our adventure at Jungle Jim's earlier this year. She is one of the funniest people I know and inspires everyone to follow the "Yes, And..." mentality of improv. Her enthusiasm knows no bounds.

Several Mary Kay consultants and other Bridal Bash attendees - None of these ladies will be named since I don't have permission to use their personal information. The age range for the attendees was about 8 to mid-50s. The consultants were all in their mid-40s and incredibly perky.

And of course, me.

The Scene
A Mary Kay studio somewhere in Crofton, MD. Since I'm not up on the world of Mary Kay I had no idea places like this exist. You know that part in Steel Magnolias where M'Lynn describes the church as looking like it's been hosed down in Pepto? That's what this place looked like except with pictures of Mary Kay (the founder) and incentives for Mary Kay consultants (pink Cadillacs and jewelry primarily).

Before I go any further I want to say one thing: None of the following is in any way about disrespecting female entrepreneurs. The founder of Mary Kay, Mary Kay Ash, founded the company because she was passed over for a promotion for a male co-worker she trained. You have to respect that and any woman who gets out there to support herself or her family whether it be through Mary Kay, Avon, Tupperware, jewelry, cooking items, or whatever else. 

Moving on.

None of us knew what we were walking into. We didn't know if this was the lady's basement or if we would be the only ones (thank goodness we were not). We toyed with the idea of creating an elaborate back story just in case it was just us and we had to provide details about our friendship and our role as "bridesmaids." No back story was needed since we were at our own table and didn't have that much time with the consultants where a back story was necessary.

The agenda for the Bridal Bash was to experience the anti-aging skincare line and to add a little easy glamour into our lives. I love skincare products (this is why I subscribe to Birchbox) but I'm not much of a makeup person and neither are Jordana and Lindsey. I wear a little pressed powder, Rose Salve lip balm, and a little lip gloss if I'm feeling adventurous. Eye makeup has always been problematic for me as I don't see well without my glasses. I have come very close to jabbing myself in the eye with an eyeliner pencil. Thankfully, we stuck to easy eye makeup today and there were no injuries.

Our bride was given a proper bride greeting with a sash and a little tiara. Our stations were set up with the skincare regime in order and there was even a little exfoliating hand treatment to get us started. It smelled like a Bellini, all peachy and sweet. It might have made us all want a drink badly. We all received door prize tickets (because it wouldn't be a room full of women doing something very feminine without door prizes). There was a lot of Taylor Swift (I admit she's growing on me) and a lot of woohoo-ing and enthusiasm (mostly genuine, some a little over the top from our table). The most disturbing part of this portion of the afternoon was when the Mary Kay consultant doing the skincare demo called the primer "Spanx for your face." Not an image I need. Ever.

The makeup portion of the program went better than expected. We all finally learned what a CC cream is (a color correcting cream - who knew?) and how to properly apply bronzer (start in the center of your cheek and then go to your temple and then all the way down your chin; like a 3 or an E on either side of your face). I can apply mascara without injuring myself. Lindsey and Jordana found excellent shades of lip gloss and we all learned to take a compliment. This was an interesting exercise; after our makeover was complete the lead consultant asked us each to turn to the woman on our right and pay them a compliment and we each had to simply say "thank you." Her lead-in was that women have a hard time taking compliments; I wholly agree and I'm glad she asked us to do this.

The lead lady also taught us probably the only thing we ever need to know: how to take the perfect selfie. The technique: hold your camera high at an angle but specifically at 10 o'clock and 4 o'clock. Lindsey has perfected this technique; I'm sure she'd be happy to give lessons. We ended our Bridal Bash with the sales pitch (of course). None of us are sure if it was a sales pitch for the products or to become a consultant. No purchases were made but we did leave with some of the Bellini scented lotion and some photos from a slightly over-hyped photo booth (which was really just an area to take a photo with silly props).

The weird office park where the studio was located also included an odd little store just across the parking lot that specialized in Legos. Jordana described it as an oasis in an office park. We spent a lot of time digging through mini-figures and acting like little kids seeing all of our Lego dreams come true. Jordana and I got Lindsey some figures to decorate her cube (like we have). If you think about it, Legos and makeovers are really just two different types of play.

More importantly, our bride felt exactly as she should; pampered and special. We had fun being her fake bridesmaids and enjoying an afternoon doing something out of the ordinary for us. While none of us have been using eye cream since we were 18 (apparently we should have been), we all left a little more glamourous on the outside to match our inner awesomeness.

This painting was in the bathroom - it's of Mary Kay Ash. In my humble opinion this needs to be moved out to where everyone can bask in her glamour and awesomeness. We probably all need to have this sort of portrait painted at some point in our lives.

 

Lindsey executives the perfect selfie.

Can you tell it's a pink Cadillac?