Saturday, December 31, 2016

Adios, Au Revoir, Aloha, Audi 5000

Is 2016 the worst year ever? Is it really the actual dumpster fire I've come to think of it as? A year that kicked off with the death of David Bowie, is ending with a series of sad celebrity deaths (Carrie Fisher, George Michael, Debbie Reynolds) in quick succession not to mention all the garbage things that happened in the middle. Even NPR chimed in on the argument this week. While I appreciate their use of a dumpster fire GIF in the article, it also ends up being a pretty solid discussion on whether it's the year or the way in which we consume news and information in the modern age. Twitter can suck it...apparently.

To  add a little more fuel to the dumpster fire, a friend of mine recently posted an article on Facebook (purveyor of all the news you need to survive 2016, fake or otherwise) that posited that 2016 is not killing people; their poor choices over the years are what is to blame. It goes on to say we need to get over blaming the actual year for things that would inevitably happen. That these deaths all happened in 2016 is just the way life and the aging process work. The recent deaths of George Michael and Carrie Fisher were pointed to as examples of people who abused drugs throughout or at some point in their lives so we shouldn't be surprised they suffered from heart attacks and died relatively young (53 and 60 respectively). I get where the writer was going but I also felt like it was a lazy argument. She could have gone further and started with David Bowie had she really wanted to make the argument stick. Bowie spent much of the 1970s in a coke-filled haze; I've always been surprised that he made it out of that decade alive. And then went on to make the most ridiculous video ever: a cover of "Dancing in the Streets" with Mick Jagger. Is he wearing a jumpsuit? I don't know.

Yes, people die all the time. Famous people, not famous people, infamous people - it literally happens everyday. I understand that; most people understand that. Celebrity deaths are different because we're not actually involved in their lives but we are at the same time. Celebrities are celebrities because fans exist so they need us for that whole being famous thing and we need them for that whole "being inspired by their art" thing. I didn't personally know David Bowie or Prince or Abe Vigoda or Carrie Fisher but I knew them. I cried when heard David Bowie died (as I did when Lou Reed died a few years ago). It wasn't because I knew him but because he was a part of my life. His music is the music of growing up and figuring out your life as I wrote right after his death. The same thing is true of Carrie Fisher. She inspired so many young women to be the fighter and the princess at the same time because you can. She also worked hard for mental health issues and was honest about her own struggles. She was inspiring, she was a warrior. Even if 2016 is not to blame for their deaths, we're still allowed to be sad about their passing whether their previous poor life choices contributed or not. Grief is grief; you don't get to control or to judge others while they experience it. And we can blame 2016 if we want to especially if it helps us grieve.

We've all been calling 2016 the worst year since it started. There's even a meme called "Me at the Beginning of 2016 vs. Me at the End of 2016" that's sad and funny all at the same time. It wasn't only the volume of celebrity deaths that made this year a true dumpster fire. There was the horrible election cycle, catastrophic storms and hurricanes, the horrors of Aleppo, the unnecessary deaths of so many by police around the US, mass shootings. I could go on but I won't. We've had to deal with some heavy shit this year and we all deal with it in our own ways. I have friends who are still walking around in a daze because the Trump is going to be our next president. I've had to tell them several times to snap out of it. It's time to do the work of making sure his hate-filled, crazy pants agenda doesn't actually happen. You can't do that if you look like you haven't slept in months. I'm sure my "snap out of it" attitude is not helping but seriously, it's time to snap out of it.

I admit I haven't wanted a year to end more since 2005 but I still don't know that I'd call this the worst year. We can sit here and discuss every terrible thing that happened but will that actually solve? What will we accomplish by doing that? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. What we do now is figure out how to make 2017 a better year. I want everyone to waltz (literally or figuratively) into 2017 feeling empowered, emboldened, and energized for what's coming next. It's time to figure out how you want to make your life and the world a better place. I don't make New Year's resolutions; I prefer to set some goals for myself. Goals are better.

This year, I have a slightly longer list than last year but I think it's totally manageable. Here's what I'm focusing on this time around:
  • Finishing Transient Suburbia - this was a goal in 2016 and I'm almost done but not quite. I don't consider this a failure because I made a ton of progress and have one more section to write. This novel will be done in 2017 and it will find a home somewhere in the world.
  • Participate in the Women's March on Washington - Let me know if you'll be there on January 21st!
  • Donate time/money to organizations that will need more help given the new administration. I'm focusing on Planned Parenthood, The Trevor Project, and a local group that I'm still researching.
  • Get more involved in local and state politics. There are lots of ways to do this: writing my representatives, going to city/county meetings, voting (I always vote but you know what I mean). The saying "If you don't vote, you can't complain" should be expanded to "If you don't participate, you can't complain." 
  • Continue my gym going and make some decisions as to whether yoga is where I should spend my time. How should I celebrate hitting 10 million steps? It's going to happen very soon.
  • Complete at least two certifications or courses for work. Haven't decided what I'll focus on yet but I have time and lots of ideas.
  • Help my parents shift through the nightmare that is their basement - this will happen in 2017. Mark my words.
  • Get out there and enjoy 2017 - I've got a road trip planned, concerts to consider, and a new apartment to look forward to. Let's do this 2017. 
Did 2016 suck? Yes. Was it the worst year ever? I don't think so but it was certainly up there on the list of years that needed to end swiftly. Will 2017 be better? I hope so. Remember, dear Island readers, rebellions are built on hope.

I'll leave you with a little song from Green Day off their new album Revolution Radio. It's one of my favorite songs off this album and a fitting way to end a dumpster fire year. Enjoy!


Happy New Year from the Island of Misfit Toys! As I remind you every year, please enjoy your celebrations responsibly. I'll see you in 2017!!

Saturday, December 24, 2016

The Christmas Cake

I just finished reading Judith Fertig's novel The Cake Therapist. It's been on my to read list for awhile. I finally decided to treat myself to a used paperback copy rather than spending over $3 for the Kindle version. I have a $3 and below rule on Kindle. I feel like if I'm going to pay more than that I should just buy the actual book. Or maybe I'm cheap. You can decide.

Anyway, in addition to being a very colorful, pretty book (it's worth the paperback just for the color it adds to my bookcase), it's also a delightful story. The novel follows a baker who moves back to her hometown in Ohio as her marriage is ending and her opportunities in New York are dwindling. She decides to open a bakery and it just so happens that her hometown has become a destination for brides and weddings. Her talent isn't just making exquisite cakes and pastries; it's knowing the exact flavor the person she's baking for wants most. Her ability to match the flavor and the person crates the perfect taste for the customer. This serves her well in the wedding cake world. I would like to tell you that I savored the book and lingered over it for a few days but that would be a lie. I read it in one day and had to order the sequel Memory of Lemon this week.

There's a quote early-ish in the novel that I particularly love. It perfectly encapsulates the way I feel about baking something.

"As I cracked each egg into the bowl and added the sugar while the mixer did its work, I wondered whether I was the only person who found the whir of a stand mixer oddly comforting. For me, it was the sound of something good about to happen." (page 63)

Baking, as I've written before, has always been a form of therapy for me. The process of making something, of following a recipe, measuring ingredients, prepping pans is soothing and calming. The process is great for working through an issue, problem solving something, or just ruminating on an idea for a bit. It can also be a completely blank moment where my mind focuses solely on what I'm doing and not my to-do list or stress at work or getting my move organized or whatever else is happening in my world. I love my stand mixer, Stanny (yes, it has a name) and I know the whir Neely, the baker in the book, is talking about. It's the whir that makes marshmallows out of water, gelatin, and sugar or brings together the perfect balance of ingredients for pumpkin cookies or apple cinnamon cake. It's a sound that's not too loud but certainly not quiet. It's a sound that is all about making something delicious happen.

Around the holidays, everyone I know seems to go into beast baking mode. Instagram and Facebook are full of tables full of cookies and candy and whatever else people have decided their family and friends need to truly enjoy the holidays. Some recipes are passed down generation to generation and it wouldn't be the holidays without them. This year, our cookie options include snowballs (a perennial favorite), coconut macaroons, and maybe chocolate chip. I made some fudge and my dad made chocolate chip cookies, banana bread, and cranberry bread. Did I mention there are only four of us?

We also have a newer tradition that I will be adding to this year: the Christmas Cake. It started before I really got into backing. My dad would make a rum torte as our Christmas dessert - did I not mention every of my family members bakes? My dad and brother both make great pies and my dad kills it at banana bread; I get that from him. My mom is an all-around baker; I learned how to make snowballs, cakes, and brownies from her. Anyway, I don't like rum or rum flavored things but the rum torte was always good. As I got more into baking, my dad and I would trade off on making the Christmas Cake. We started varying it up but almost always selecting a cake from Southern Living's Christmas issue. I don't know if you're familiar with the Christmas issue of Southern Living but there's always a beautiful cake on the cover and a section of creative, festive, and sometimes super complicated cakes to adorn your holiday table.


We can thank Southern Living for the Christmas present cake; it's shaped like a present and you use Fruit by the Foot to make pretty ribbon and is also fun for birthdays (and really the first complicated cake I made by myself), the caramel cake debacle of 2013, and my uncle's favorite cake, the Italian Orange Cake. I only make this last one every ten years. To do it right takes three days since it's the type of cake that gets better as it sits. The flavors come together over time so it's better to do each step over the course of several days. I like all of these cakes despite being a bit more complicated from a process standpoint than say, a regular chocolate cake. I want a holiday dessert to be special and more whimsical than my everyday baked goods. That's part of the fun of holiday baking;

Both my parents and I subscribe to Southern Living. I'm sure that seems excessive to some people but it's the way life works. My subscription was a gift from a friend who knows I like baking and reading about cities I love so I accept my dual copy each month with love and sass. The cake on the cover this year is a coconut rum cake with rum filling and ermine frosting. Wondering what ermine frosting is? It's also known as "poor man's frosting," boiled milk frosting, or butter roux frosting. It's a type of buttercream frosting that uses flour instead of eggs for the emulsion factor. I've never made it before but apparently from what I've read, ermine frosting was what was traditionally used on red velvet cake until the 1970s when cream cheese frosting became all the rage. Who knew?

As I mentioned earlier, I don't like rum flavored things so I told my family I'd make one of the other cakes in the holiday extravaganza issue, Peppermint Cake with Seven Minute Frosting.This cake requires me to buy disco dust. Don't know what disco dust is? Well, friends, it's edible glitter. Apparently, it gives the cake a little sparkle. Who doesn't want their holiday cake to sparkle?

There is one major thing about this recipe that makes it the best cake in the world: two different frostings! Peppermint buttercream frosting and Seven Minute Frosting! The cake itself is a pretty standard yellow cake but two frostings make it extra special and holiday worthy. If you've ever made anything with peppermint extract, you know that a little goes a long way. I made peppermint marshmallows once that tasted like toothpaste despite using the small amount of extract the recipe called for (they melted well in hot chocolate - that's a win). The peppermint buttercream looks so pretty in the picture; I would have made the buttercream for myself if my family had declined the cake. Bonus: I've never made Seven Minutes Frosting before so this cake also represents adding another item to my repertoire and I love adding baking things to my repertoire. (Reality: Seven Minute Frosting is basically marshmallow fluff that you whisk for seven minutes. Not nearly as much fun as I wanted it to be.)

You know what else is great about this cake? Smashing peppermint candies with a meat tenderizer. My arms are going to hurt tomorrow between this and the whisking for the Seven Minute Frosting, but it will be worth it. The peppermint extract isn't enough peppermint-y flavor so I have crushed up peppermint candy as instructed to add to the buttercream. I also crushed additional peppermints and added the disco dust (pearl dust according to Wilton) so the cake will really sparkle when it's decorated. I feel so Christmas-y I can't stand it.



I can't tell you how the cake tastes since it's for tomorrow but I can say that the buttercream is delicious, as I knew it would be. The Seven Minute Frosting is basically glorified marshmallow fluff. And the finished, uncut version? Looks like a sparkly winter wonderland. That's exactly what I wanted to accomplish with this cake. Something good happened over the whir of an electric mixer.

Happy Holidays from the Island!



Southern Living cover

Saturday, December 17, 2016

If it's not color coded, I don't want to hear about it

I've lived in an apartment of some kind since the summer after my first year in college. Getting that first apartment was a big deal; my roommate and I took it over from a friend who was graduating so it was like the apartment was staying in the family. It wasn't the greatest apartment ever but it was my first apartment; I still think of it fondly nineteen years later (yikes, I'm old). Back then, moving into a new apartment was exciting and new. It felt like an adventure. I recall that we would overspend at Wal-Mart (Target wasn't really a thing yet) and maybe the thrift store if we were feeling up for it. We needed new things for our new space despite the fact that we didn't have much money and what we bought normally didn't last very long. Inherited furniture was the norm and none of us thought about it for a minute (free is free when you're in college). I remember having dinner parties in this apartment and experiencing those glimmers of adulthood we all have at nineteen. This was what it was like to be on your own and have friends and entertain. I roasted a chicken like a boss back then. One of my favorite photos from that period is from Halloween; we had everyone over before people went their separate ways. One of my friends was dressed in drag as Super Doppler 6000 (people who lived in New Orleans in the late 1990s know what this is) and another friend is sitting in the background with no expression on his face about the costume. It was glorious and weird and exactly what is perfect about college.

This is what happens when I move now.

In the history of my apartments, I've only truly hated one place I lived (I had to break my lease it was so bad) and have loved three of my apartments so much that I often find myself daydreaming about living in them once again. For the record those apartments would be: the Broadway house, my second apartment in Alameda, and my lovely studio on Bordeaux Street. Two of these apartments are in New Orleans; this probably means something.

When I moved back to Virginia four-ish years ago, I had a crappy time finding an apartment. For anyone not familiar with the DMV, real estate in this area is ridiculously priced (overpriced I would say). If I want to pay a reasonable amount of rent, I'd have to live an hour away from work (at least) which is probably more like a 2-3 hour commute each way. I don't hate myself so this is not an option. Paying for proximity makes me rage-ful but it's the way it works here. I knew this going into my search when I moved back, however, I didn't prepare myself to be wildly disappointed by how not worth the money most of these places are. Curious what a junior one bedroom is like? That's just a fancy way of saying "studio apartment with no washer and dryer." Affordable housing in the DMV is a huge and I can only imagine what families face when going through this. I have the luxury of just needing a place for me and the great Pumpkin but that doesn't mean it's any less disappointing when you look at what you pay versus what you actually get. Of course, leasing companies know this and they see us all coming.

I've never been interested in owning a home; owning a home in this area wouldn't necessarily be any better for me. I assume my disinterest in home ownership is because I grew up in the military; we moved every few years. I don't have a childhood home per se. The houses I grew up in are probably still there but my parents don't live in any of them. They moved into their current house in the early 2000s; I lived there for about four months during Hurricane Katrina. It's a lovely house but not my house. I don't really know if not having a childhood home has anything to do with not wanting to own a home but I'm sure it's a contributing factor. I see houses I like all the time; I just have no inclination to buy one. Maybe I fancy myself a vagabond and buying a house would go directly against that idea.

I'm moving to a new apartment the first weekend of January. I don't really have to move but I'm feeling restless and this was the easiest way to cure my restlessness. Unlike 99.9% of the population, I enjoy moving. Moving appeals to the organizer in me; it's a system with processes and I like systems with processes. I like to think of moving in different phases: search phase, purge/donation phase, pre-packing phase, final packing phase, and unpacking phase. The search phase is the phase I like the least; I'm impulsive when it comes to apartment shopping. I get frustrated easy and have little patience for listening to the same leasing office spiel over and over. This means I either rent the first place I see or I look at a million places before making a decision while simultaneously complaining to everyone and needing a drink after each visit. I only looked at three places this time around and it was definitely enough.

My favorite phases are the purge/donation phase and the unpacking phase. I love getting rid of things; I don't do it often enough. There's something satisfying about throwing shit away. I can still be sentimental about people and memories without having all the freaking clutter. Why did I keep all of this stuff I haven't looked at since 2000? Do I really need these Christmas lights I haven't used since I moved into this apartment? For this particular move, I did something I've never done before: I tried on all of my clothes. It's sounds bananas but it was awesome. I went through my closest, my chest of drawers, and the two bins of stuff under my bed. The donation pile is huge and it makes me feel good about my life. I got rid of things that don't fit (mostly too big - score!), things I've only worn once or twice, and a few things I've never worn and feel bad about wasting money on. I went through all my shoes and pared that mess down too. It feels good to shed the unnecessary. I, like many other women, have kept clothes thinking I'd wear them when I was a little skinnier or whatever but seriously, it's not worth it. I'd rather keep clothes I love and enjoy wearing than clothes that make me feel bad about myself or have some unrealized purpose associated with them. I have zero fucks to give about unrealized purpose and clothing. It's all about being comfortable and fashionable - I can. scratch that, I am both.

The other thing I did in this phase, and I know I'll do more of when I get to the new place, is evaluate my baking equipment. I have amassed a lot of baking accoutrements over the years. I'm not even sure where some of it came from since I don't recall buying several of the items that were in my hall closet but I also don't recall receiving them as gifts. Where did these mystery baking pans come from? Anyway, after getting over my shock of having mystery pans, I was able to cull down my collection and add the others to the donation pile. They're all in really good shape so there's that.

I'm looking forward to the unpacking phase. It takes me back to the excitement I used to feel whenever we'd move when I was younger and the adventure of my first apartment in college. I see unpacking as opportunity - how will I design my new space? Do I keep my books organized by color because it's nice to look at despite being hard to find things or do I revert back to alphabetical order? Alphabetical order is boring so I have a feeling I'll keep my color organization going. I mean, look at how visually appealing that is. It's like my books are saying, "Welcome home, Erin!"

What about my CDs and records? Should I entertain the grand reorganization style of 2002 when I organized my CDs autobiographically? This takes forever to figure out and I need to invest in a new storage system for them. Autobiographical organization is based on the time in life that you purchased the album. So it's like an episode of "This is Your Life" as told through CDs. Or maybe "Behind the Music" without the drug addiction, car crashes, and poor life choices. How should I arrange my art? What goes where in my closet (organized by color and clothing type because that's the only way to organize a closet)? What about my shoes? Don't even get me started on my kitchen. There are so many possibilities when you move into a new space. Organization is an art form; I'm looking forward to working in my greatest medium. 

You know who's not going to be happy about the move? Pumpkin. Despite her love of jumping in boxes, she's really going to miss her heater.

Friday, December 9, 2016

You can't stop the beat

Hairspray is my favorite John Waters movie. I don't recall the first time I saw it but I remember loving every thing about it. It was my John Waters gateway movie; after Hairspray, I went back and watched all the earlier films and have been a fan ever since. Released in 1988, Hairspray told the story of Tracy Turnblad (Ricki Lake) a "pleasantly plump" teen in 1962 Baltimore. She dreams of being on a local dance show, The Corny Collins Show, and going steady with the dreamy Link. Her mother, Edna (played by the divine Divine), is basically an agoraphobic who takes in laundry and scolds Tracy for having ratted hair. Running along side this plot is a focus on segregation in the 1960s; the Corny Collins Show show is segregated and Tracy makes it her mission to integrate it. All sorts of famous faces make appearances (Debbie Harry, Pia Zadora, Rik Ocasek, Sonny Bono, Jerry Stiller, and Ruth Brown) and Waters's regulars Mink Stole and Alan J. Wendl round out the cast. Fun fact: Vitamin C plays Amber, Tracy's rival (she's billed under her real name, Colleen Fitzpatrick).

The original film is campy and charming all at the same time. I'm pretty certain that Divine was the first drag performer I consciously recognized as a drag performer. There is something magical about her as Edna; I don't know if it's the Baltimore accent, her sort of soft gruffness, or the fact that she owned every scene she's in (both in and out of drag). There are certain lines that pop into my head in Divine's voice all the time: "Could you turn that racket down? I'm trying to iron in here." or "It's the times. They are a-changin'." Divine is my favorite part of the movie followed closely by Sonny Bono and Debbie Harry as the von Tussles. I believe I learned how to Madison by watching this movie; this is a skill I no longer have and it would never, ever have been useful since I was not alive in 1962.

I was cautiously optimistic when I heard that Hairspray was being made into a Broadway musical. John Waters had given his blessing so I knew it would be safe from what happens when musicals are made from other source materials. And let me tell you, it's a wonderful show. It's fun and joyful and touching and relatable. The music and songs are some of my favorite from more modern musicals; they fit into the show as well as the time period being portrayed. Every now and then, "You Can't Stop the Beat" pops into my head for no reason and refuses to leave...in a totally good way. The musical was nominated for 12 Tonys, winning 8 awards.

The musical was eventually turned into another film starring Nikki Blonksy as Tracy and John Travolta as Edna. It's not my favorite of the versions of Hairspray but it features some amazing performances by Blonsky, Queen Latifah as Motormouth Mabel, James Marsden as Corny Collins, and Elijah Kelley as Seaweed. James Marsden is probably my favorite part of the movie; he captures the wholesomeness and inappropriateness needed to play Corny Collins. I hoped at some point during this season of Westworld, Teddy would break into "Nicest Kids in Town" with the rest of the hosts. That would have made my life. My biggest complaint with the film was Travolta; I thought he was terrible. Harvey Fierstein, who played Edna on Broadway, should have been cast. Thankfully, the recent broadcast of Hairspray Live! rectified this situation; all of America (or at least the parts that watch live musicals on NBC) got to see Fierstein slay the role of Edna as Divine and God intended. I watched the broadcast earlier this week; Fierstein was one of the highlights along with an adorably awkward Ariana Grande as Penny, Martin Short, and Jennifer Hudson showing us all what it means to really live in a song.

Hairspray is about a lot of things but at its heart it's about diversity and acceptance. Tracy Turnblad was about body positivity before it was a thing. As Tracy exclaims in the original movie, "Now all of Baltimore will know... I'm big, blonde and beautiful!"(which is an amazing song in the musical). She didn't think being "pleasantly plump" as a problem; it made her unique and who she was. It didn't change the fact that she was a bad ass dancer or stood up for her friends and what was right (integrating the dance show). She got to dance with the cute boy. She wore dresses that made her feel special and pretty. She used her voice when others around her could not.

It's also about the message of inclusion and accepting diversity as part of the fabric of life. The 1960s were a tumultuous time in our history and Baltimore, like other cities, was front and center in the Civil Rights movement. When you first start to watch any of the versions of Hairspray, you think you're just getting a fluffy teen dance show movie/musical but it's really social commentary. Waters's movies always focus on outsiders and Hairspray captures that in a way that I don't think I thought much about when I was younger but now seems even more important. Listen to the song "I Know Where I've Been" - yes, Jennifer Hudson killed it on Wednesday but I love Queen Latifah in the movie so much that I'm using her version instead:


The lyrics resonate as much today as they would have in 1962. I couldn't help but think about recent protests as I watched the live broadcast on Wednesday. The signs might look different (maybe not entirely) but the sentiment is the same. As I wrote back in November, we have a lot of work to do in this country. We can sit by and let hate and fear take over or we can be like Tracy and her friends and stand up for what's right. Or maybe you prefer to dance for what's right; that's cool with me. I'll be over here pretending I remember how to Madison and singing along with "You Can't Stop the Beat."

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Where you lead...

We all have a friend who we go long periods of time without speaking to for no reason except that life is happening. There wasn't a fight or falling out; you just don't talk as much as you used to. Growing up often has a lot to do with it; people move far away and it's harder to keep up with one another when you're not living a few minutes away. Life circumstances change as one or both of you start families or don't and your lives shift accordingly. What's great about this friend, though, is that when you do get together, it's as if that time away never really happened. Yes, you spend some time updating each other on work and significant others and family but the awkward "high school reunion" update feeling isn't there. You fall back into the rhythm of your friendship; inside jokes that are truly only funny to the two of you are the most hilarious thing ever and the dramas (because all friends have a drama) are there or dissected once again. When you introduce this friend to a new friend, that new friend will later say to you, "I get it now. You make a little more sense now. Your friend completes you." And then they're gone again, back to wherever they live now and those occasional tweets and texts about silly movies or rock stars or anniversaries of significant life events keep the connection going until the next time.

I have that friend and as I sat down to watch Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life yesterday, I wondered if she was sitting down to watch it too. Did she order pizza like we used to when we all got together to watch the show at one of our houses? I did not; I had a Thanksgiving leftover sandwich because I'm certain Amy Sherman-Palladino and Netflix planned the day after Thanksgiving drop of the show so we'd all have comfort food to eat while watching. Was any wine involved in her viewing? Did she get annoyed at the parts I thought might annoy her? What did she think about the last four words?

The other thing that happened as I watched the last of the four episodes (mini-movies? expanded episodes?), I came to the realization that Gilmore Girls is also that friend, the one that's in my life for years and then goes away only to come back when she's really needed. I written about this before; I re-watch seasons of Gilmore Girls when my own life is less than stellar. Something about the characters and what they're going through helps put my own life into perspective. Yes, I'm aware that it's a television show and not a therapist but it still helps for whatever reason. Also, it's cheaper than a therapist so there's that.

What can I tell you about Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life that won't spoil it for you? It's not perfect but it's exactly what I wanted it to be. Several story lines are wrapped up for us finally, Richard Gilmore is memorialized in the best way possible (first time I cried and I cried a few more times throughout the four episodes), and we see lots of familiar faces throughout the year. Both Lorelai and Rory are dealing with things as they always are and handling them in the ways that we have all come to expect from them: not well to okay to not well to avoidance to getting their shit together finally. They both look great; although I don't care for Rory's lucky red dress outfit (Lorelai was right; she looks washed out in it) their fashion is wonderfully modern and a little crazy like both of them. Rory in her 30s is still having a pretty easy life (my biggest complaint about her on the original series) so when it does stressful for her, I don't feel as bad for her as I should but I do feel for her because I know how it feels to be in your 30s and wonder "What am I doing with my life?"

What about everyone else? Emily Gilmore (Kelly Bishop) is even better in the revival than she was on the original series. Her grief and her decisions about how to move on with this new stage of her life is wonderfully done and captures everything we all love and hate about Emily. Luke is Luke but an older, slightly softer Luke except when it comes to giving out a wifi password (which is hilarious). Lane and Zack will always be my favorite Stars Hollow couple and I will fight anyone who wants to fight about it. I wish we had more of them. I don't believe this show is actually over so I'm hopeful there is more Lane and Zack to come. Paris is intense and Doyle likes to use adjectives. Kirk has a pet pig. Taylor wrote a musical (that sequence is a little long but it's during the second musical section that I might have cried very ugly tears for reasons). Michel is still rude and Miss Patty and Babette are still flirty and wonderful. While I enjoyed Sookie's appearance, I felt it was the least believable of all of the characters but I'm still glad she was there.

And what about the loves of Rory Gilmore? Nothing I can tell you without spoiling things so I'll just say this: I will always be #TeamLogan so no amount of any new developments will change my mind on that. However, Jess was my favorite of the three in the revival for no other reason except that he was still so completely Jess but without the angst-y teenager side of the character and he didn't let Rory participate in the pity party that she likes to go to when her life isn't perfect. I like that about him.

All in all, just like catching up with my actual friend when it happens, it was nice to spend some time with my favorite television show. There were some surreal moments including but not limited to the musical, the appearance of the Life and Death Brigade (which is not a spoiler since gilmorenews.com was talking about them back in March and apparently, gilmorenews.com is a real thing), and every sequence at the Stars Hollow pool. I laughed out loud a lot, cried a lot (more than I expected but I know I needed it), and loved every little inside joke and cameo. I particularly love the number of cast members from Bunheads who made appearances; another show taken away from us too soon.

I won't spoil the last four words for you since I promised not to so instead I will leave you with my own four words:
Amy, more episodes please.


I wore my Hep Alien shirt yesterday - I would have liked 50% more Hep Alien in the revival but I'll take what I can get.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Hockey puck, rattle snake, monkey, monkey, underpants

 
I re-watch the television show Gilmore Girls when my life is less than settled. I'm not sure why but it's typically my thing. Something stressful happens and I pop in season four and watch The Dragonfly Inn come to life while Rory is making questionable life choices by sleeping with a married man and Lorelai is hiding her boyfriend from her parents like she's the teenager and not the mom. Or maybe it's more of a season six kind of binge, all "I'm leaving Yale and living in the pool house and joining the DAR" and "June 3rd is the perfect day for a wedding until it's not" and "Luke hides a daughter for almost an entire season for no apparent reason." Better yet, what about season two where we meet Jess, the Puffs, and Sookie gets married?

I could literally spend all day talking about my favorite episodes (four Thanksgivings, the opening of the Dragonfly Inn, Rory graduating from high school, the Life & Death Brigade, Lane's baby shower, Michel's dog funeral), the best characters who are not the main characters (Miss Patty, Babette, Kirk, Lane, Zack, Tom, and Lane's little cousin who yells at Zack during a super formal Korean dinner), and who are the worst (Taylor but with affection, April, Dean, Francie, Sherry, and Jackson's weird cousin). I took an informal poll on Facebook (source of all great news and facts; just ask John Oliver) and no one could name just one favorite episode or even one favorite season. To me, that gets to the heart of what was truly magical about this show - everything. It wasn't one character, one event, one location that made it special. It was each detail, each character, each moment.

As we near the premiere of A Year in the Life on Netflix this coming Friday, I thought I'd spend less time reflecting on the seven seasons we've had and focus on what I hope we get in the revival. I haven't read much about the revival; fan theories and potential spoilers are not my thing. I want to go into the new episodes armed with nothing more than the love of this show and maybe some coffee and a pop tart. Here's what I hope we get in these four episodes:
  • Team Rory: I'm will forever be #TeamLogan (and I'm not going to spend any time here defending my choice) but I really don't care which guy she ends up with if she ends up with any of the original three boyfriends. Show creator, Amy Sherman-Palladino, doesn't care either. One of the great things about this show was Rory as an independent young woman. She can have a dude in her life but let's not care about it so much. 
  • Are Kirk and Lulu still together? They are one of my favorite couples from the show so I hope they are still together and being their weird selves.
  • We get to see older versions of all the kids that were babies or toddlers in the last few seasons. Sookie's kids, Steve and Kwan, Gigi - what will they all be like? Are they cool? I hope they're all cool.
  • Can we please meet Mr. Kim?
  • Is Emily really wearing jeans and concert t-shirt? I saw it in the preview but I don't believe it. I feel like this is actually the equivalent of seeing Emily Gilmore naked. It could supplant that episode where Emily is basically drunk the whole time as the greatest un-Emily episode of the entire series. Apparently, that's Kelly Bishop's favorite episode so there's that. 
  • An ugly cry tribute to Richard Gilmore. Let's face it, it's going to happen and we all need to prepare. 
  • Sookie's kitchen and her ability to break something or catch stoves on fire. Sookie is one of my favorite characters and I'm glad that Melissa McCarthy was able to be part of the revival. I hope we get to see her in her kitchen but maybe not injured or destroying expensive kitchen equipment.
  • Babette and Miss Patty singing. 
  • Town Hall meetings! I have missed Town Hall meetings so much. Is Taylor still being insufferable (yes)? How often does Babette interrupt things with an inappropriate story about her and Maury (frequently)? Is Gypsy going to be sassy (yes)? I can't wait!
  • Is there a new town troubadour? The regular troubadour came back but did he stay?
  • More Hep Alien. I hope that Hep Alien went on to be a famous-ish band. Zack has always been one of my favorite characters and Gil and Brian were awesome. Seriously, getting Sebastian Bach on this show was genius. They did get back together without Bach back in 2015 so it would be great to that the band was successful. Todd Lowe will always be my dream dude (after Chief Hopper from Stranger Things).
  • Paris and Doyle's wedding and/or the knowledge that they're engaged. Obviously they make sense together and will eventually take over the world. 
  • Quotable moments like this: Mrs. Kim: Boys don't like funny girls.
    Lorelai: I took a bite, and I thought nothing had ever tasted so good. I thought it tasted like freedom. It tasted like I was my own person. The pop-tart tasted like freedom and rebellion and independence.
  • Christopher messing up something. It's inevitable that Christopher will be here somewhere messing up something. I'm hoping it's his own life and not Lorelai's. It didn't work twice so let's move on.
  • Michel! I've missed Michel so much. His rudeness, his random acts of kindness, his dogs. Do you think he adopted another dog? Will his flawless mother make another appearance? 
  • A town festival. Stars Hollow is a town of festivals. It seemed like no matter how out there one festival was (living art for example), the town (and Taylor) would come up with another idea. The Firelight Festival has always been my favorite. 
  • More dialogue like this:
    Lorelai: Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish…I’m writing a letter…I can’t write a letter…why can’t I write a letter?…I’m wearing a green dress…I wish I was wearing my blue dress…my blue dress is at the cleaners…the Germans wore grey…you wore blue…Casablanca, Casablanca…such a good movie…Casablanca…the White House…Bush…why don’t I drive a hybrid car? I should really drive a hybrid car…I should really take my bicycle to work…bicycle, unicycle, unitard…hockey puck, rattle snake, monkey, monkey, underpants.
    Rory: Hockey puck, rattle snake, monkey, monkey, underpants?
    Lorelai: Exactly! That’s what I’m saying. Its a big bag of weird in there.
No matter what happens, it'll be great to spend a few hours back in the magical world of Gilmore Girls. We all deserve a little something to look forward to these days. 

PS - Team Dean will never win. Dean is the worst. He needs to take his floppy hair and tallness and get the hell out of Rory's life. #sorrynotsorry

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Tuesday, November 8, 2016

At least I didn't ugly cry when I voted

I don't know who is going to win this election. In my heart and my head, I believe/know that Hillary Rodham Clinton will win. There's always a little hesitation when I say it out loud because this has been a challenging election to say the least and I feel like I might jinx something. This is also the reason I don't always watch Saints football games because my mere presence might somehow make a difference. It's silly and mildly paranoid but there's nothing I can do about that.

I wasn't sure how I would feel when I voted today. I didn't know how I would react to the opportunity to cast my vote for the first major party female candidate and (probably) the next President of the United States. Would I cry? Would I jump for joy? Would I show my ballot to the other voters so they could see the awesomeness? I couldn't predict how I would feel. I've been preparing for this a long time; ever since I first learned about the voting process in school. I've been a fan of voting since elementary school when we got to mock vote in elections; I was a civics geek then and I'm a civics geek now. I worked on my first campaign in high school for Senator Mark Warner. I cast my first vote in the 2000 election for Al Gore. I canvassed and campaigned for the Landrieus (Mitch and Mary), John Kerry, Barack Obama, and scores of local and state representatives. I have gotten out the vote for years and will get out the vote for years to come.

And I love Hillary Rodham Clinton. I do. I've been a fan of hers since way back when she became First Lady. I read her Wellesley commencement speech back then and was captivated by her idealism and her beliefs. She was a strong female voice when my youthful feminism needed direction. She led me to other heroes like Gloria and to start taking notice of female politicians (there weren't a lot in the 1990s). I knew, even back then, that HRC put up with (and continues to put up with) a bunch of crap as First Lady, the least of which came from her husband. I personally believe she's always been too much for people to handle; she didn't sit quietly by even when she was defending her choice to stay with her husband. During her recent opening monologue, Samantha Bee summed up all of my feelings pretty perfectly. You can watch it here.

So how would I actually feel today? It's hard to sum up my feelings in a way that doesn't make me sound like a blubbering crazy person who watches Hallmark movies for fun and talks to her cat (oh wait). I got up this morning feeling better than I've felt since Friday (I'm getting over a cold), I made some tea, had a little breakfast, and started getting ready for my day. I put on my Hillary '16 shirt, my "love trumps hate" button, and my comfy shoes. I walked to my precinct, checked in with my precinct captain (my shift wasn't starting for another hour), and got in line to vote. The line was decent; not long but not short either. Hats off to the election workers who keep the Drew School polling place moving; y'all are the true heroes of the election. I waited about 25 minutes to get my ballot. And then I got to fill it in. There was her name, right at the top, waiting for me to place my mark in the box. I stared at it for a full minute. My heart tightened. I got a little teary. And then I filled in the box. I finished my ballot with hands shaking, shaking from being excited about this moment and angry that it took so long and that this election was so ridiculous. Shaking for all the women who came before me and made it so I could be here today and vote for this woman to lead our country. Shaking for all the women who will come after, who I hope will continue to fight for what is right and important. Then, still shaking a bit, I actually cast my ballot. I put my ballot on the machine and it took it and registered it and the wonderful election worker gave me my "I Voted in Arlington" sticker. And it was done. I voted for Hillary Clinton. I voted for a woman for President.

On a normal Election Day, I would be done at this point. I'd go home or back to work and go through the rest of my day until it was time to go home and watch the returns. However, today was not a normal Election Day. I didn't go home but instead went right back outside, grabbed some sample ballots and worked my shift as a poll place greeter for the Arlington Democrats. I spent several hours with other dedicated volunteers, met voters in my community, and even saw a few of my neighbors (I think they were surprised to see me). I answered questions about ID requirements and connected voters to the outside poll person to report problems or concerns about the process. I saw women in white and pantsuits and families coming to vote so their children could understand what this process is about. I met my State Senator (I'm even on his Twitter feed today) and watched him meet and greet voters (fascinating on so many levels). I finished my shift, told my precinct captain to consider me on call if someone didn't show up, and walked back home. I spent the afternoon enjoying everyone's posts on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. And now I'm watching the returns and waiting.

We won't have a President when I publish this post. It's possible that we won't know the results of this election for several days if certain states are close as some experts believe they will be. I'm not okay with that but I will be okay with it anyway. I'll be okay with it because today, when I cast my vote, it was a moment that I won't ever forget. It was a moment that said for an entire generation of women that we don't have to be pretty, funny, or smart. We can be all of them or none of them. We can be whatever we want. And our sons and daughters can be whatever they want.

Except maybe dinosaurs. They can dress like dinosaurs but I don't think they can actually be dinosaurs.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

It'll all be better on Wednesday

How's everyone doing? Is everyone still breathing and functioning at some human level? I know election seasons are challenging. It sounds like stress eating or drinking are good ideas but they're not. Try to stay healthy.

I've had a version of the "it'll all be better once this election is over" conversation about 40 times this past week with various friends and acquaintances. I'm not exactly sure what "better" actually is: do they mean by "better" that once the election is over we may or may not plunge into a dark abyss of hate and uncertainty? Then yes, things will get better. If they mean that the barrage of awful ads, terrible stories, and general dislike of the entire process will end then they don't understand things very well. I know that most people don't think either of these things. They believe "better" means things will calm down and we can get back to "normal." Or that they won't have to keep their children from watching the nightly news lest they hear the word "pussy" or something else equally inappropriate out of the mouth of a major party candidate.

There is very little I can do for any of these friends and acquaintances as we have these conversations. I know they want to be less anxious and stressed. I know they want to lose the fear of what is coming with the "end" of the election but unfortunately, that's not going to happen. I can pat them on the hand and offer a word of encouragement about having faith and being a good citizen. But that's about it. There is nothing else I can do to make them feel any better. I'm not psychic and I can't predict the future.

Depending on the friend, I usually ask two questions: What have you done? What are you willing to do next?

We don't have to be embedded with a campaign to make a difference. Voting is one way of making a difference; don't forget to vote on Tuesday EVEN if you believe you don't have to vote because your state always does this or that. It's not enough; get yourself to the polls on Tuesday and use your voice. But what else did you do? That's my question. We have become a nation of watchers and waiters. We watch what happens and we wait to see what will happen next. We think someone else will fix the thing or someone else will figure out how to combat institutional racism or sexism. Someone else will mend fences between religious groups or the police and the population. Someone else will figure out poverty and violence and all the other ills in the world. Someone else will do it.

You're right: someone else will. And then you'll be forced to decide where you stand when they do.

I know that I did not sit idly by during this election. I might not have been on the campaign trail and in the HRC headquarters every day but I was out there doing my part. I registered voters, I canvassed, and I phone banked whenever I could. Had I not been able to do that I would have continued to spend my time having conversations about these candidates with people so that they wouldn't just take the latest meme or crazy story and read it as truth. I asked questions and I had uncomfortable conversations with people even when they'd rather not listen. So I ask my friends who tell me they're scared and anxious, I ask them did they do that? Did they have those conversations? I know it's hard and you don't think anyone will listen but having those conversations, on all sides, is important. We can continue to disagree but we will have at least had these conversations and tried to understand one another. That is what being part of a civil society is about.

Don't forget to vote! I'll say it again, your vote matters. Maybe you don't believe that anymore but I do and it's important to keep this promise of democracy going. Maybe you can even wear white on Election Day to honor the women who came before you. On Tuesday, I'll be out casting my vote and making sure members of my community have a safe space to vote. Yes, I live in Arlington County, arguably the bluest part of Virginia, but I will be there so my neighbors can cast their vote however they choose to vote. I will be there to answer questions, provide a sample ballot should they want one, and make sure no one who can vote is prohibited from doing so. When I leave my shift at the end of Election Day, I know I will have done all that I can to make history.

And then the real work will begin. No matter who wins on Tuesday, the real work begins once we have a new President. I'll pose my second question again: What are you willing to do next?

If I have the joy of saying "Madam President" on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, that does not mean I stop. It becomes my responsibility to hold Madam President accountable for her actions as President and work to make the changes she campaigned on become realities. It is my responsibility to hold Congress accountable for their actions and to question them when they continue to get in the way of progress and what is good and right for our country. It is my responsibility to vote and to question and to pester and to not back down.

If instead I have to choke on the name of our next President every time I say it, it is my responsibility to make sure his campaign promises that support hate and divide do not come to fruition. It is my responsibility to fight for my rights as a woman who does not want lawmakers and politicians making decisions about my body or anyone else's. It is my responsibility to fight against speech and actions that divide because of race, religion, or who a person loves. It is my responsibility to not allow us to step back into a place that we don't need to be as a country.

I am ready to do all of these things. Are you?

Vote on Tuesday. Don't forget to use your voice and exercise one of your fundamental rights. Don't let that right walk away from you because you don't think it matters. It matters.

If you still feel anxious and scared, here's the most adorable picture of Pumpkin (as determined by social media activity). If you click on it, you can probably download it or print it to keep with you always. Look at it when you feel scared; I promise it will help.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Lazy Movie Weekend: Pumpkin's Guide to Halloween Movies

I love Halloween. Fall is my favorite season so fall holidays, Halloween and Thanksgiving, are my favorite holidays. I love candy, scary movies, and creativity. It's such a fun holiday regardless of how you celebrate it. I haven't really dressed up in years but I used to take a lot of time to come up with a costume. My favorite costume I ever wore was when I went as Barbie's friend Midge in college.  Yes, I said the full name all evening long. Yes, that is my apartment in the background. Yes, we had poster for The Usual Suspects in our living room. Say Anything was in my room.

I was also a super cute witch in elementary school and/or a "questioning my life choices" witch; you can decide.
I even have a cat named Pumpkin. Contrary to popular belief (of maybe five people), Pumpkin's name was not chosen specifically for its connection to Halloween. Nope, my parents, brother, and I voted on her name and Pumpkin won in a best of three voting cycle. Cinnamon, Pōpoki (which is Hawaiian for cat), and Nutmeg were options. Naming cats should maybe not be any member of my family's day job. Since Pumpkin was so helpful during the blizzard in January and helped us all get ready for a great summer, I thought she would do a great job helping prepare a Halloween movie marathon for this weekend. There are only 10 (she sleeps 18 hours a day so we have to be picky when selecting movies). There's a mix of family friendly and not so family friendly movies; Pumpkin is allowed to watch R rated movies but only with an adult.

Grab you popcorn, mellowcreme pumpkins (far superior to candy corn), and raid the candy bowl and settle in for Pumpkin's Top 10 Halloween Movies.
  1.  Hocus Pocus (1993): Pumpkin firmly believes if you don't like this movie, you can't be friends with us. It means you don't like fun and silliness and the glory that is Bette Midler in every movie. It also means you miss out on the greatest cat sidekick ever, Binx. Pumpkin questions his cat nature since he doesn't sleep 18 hours a day but appreciates his determination and love of family. She's also totally supportive of my continued crush on both Thackery Binx (pre-cat conversion) and Omri Katz (who actually captured all of our hearts on the short-lived TV show Eeerie, Indiana). Best parts: toss up between "I Put a Spell on You" and Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy delivering most, if not all, of their dialogue. It is a joy to watch.  
  2. Carrie (1976): Periods freak people out. Don't pretend that's not true. Stephen King is a master of horror for lots of reasons but to use the start of menstruation and the meanness of teenage girls to make a young girl realize her telekinetic powers? Genius. Pumpkin has never read the book (I read it for the first time at age 13) but we've watched this movie plenty. There are lots of terrifying moments: the creepy crucifix Carrie's religious mother keeps in their in-home chapel (which is also weird and creepy for completely different reasons), Carrie walking through town after the prom, drenched in pig's blood and blowing everything up with her mind, everyone's feathered hair. But the kicker is the very end of the movie. Amy Irving, the final girl of this movie (basically), is visiting a grave and paying her respects. And then the worst thing ever happens. Pumpkin doesn't want to spoil it for you but every time we watch this, that part freaks her out so much (in addition to Creepy Jesus) that she has to watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown before even considering going to bed. 
  3. The Exorcist (1973): This is the horror movie to end all horror movies. There have been many remakes of The Exorcist and many sequels but none can even come close to the creepiness of the original. If the music doesn't get you, then the cinematography will. The shadows and the way scenes are framed make you dread whatever is coming next. As horror movies go, it's actually a "quiet" movie, meaning an axe-wielding psychopath isn't chasing co-eds the entire time. The fear is real not just because it was inspired by real events but because the very idea of demonic possession is so out there that our brains (and cat brains) can't really process it. If you're ever in Georgetown, make sure to go visit The Exorcist steps. Pumpkin recommends not watching this one alone or with the lights out because you'll never sleep again.
  4. Shaun of the Dead (2004): After watching The Exorcist, it's probably a good idea to balance out your movie marathon with something a little lighter and Shaun of the Dead is an excellent option. This is the movie that gave us Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Edgar Wright. It's a comedy at it's heart but as with any good zombie movie, there are some moments that will both gross you out and make you jump a little. Pegg plays our titular hero, Shaun, a lazy guy whose girlfriend is tired of having all their dates at the Winchester (a pub that will come in handy later) and who struggles to find his place in life. Then people start turning into zombies and Shaun needs to save the day. In addition to the zombie movie tropes we all know and love, Pumpkin particularly likes the fight sequence at the Winchester that is possibly the best use of a Queen song in a movie other than Wayne's World.
  5. Freaks (1932): The most amazing thing about this movie is that it was considered controversial in 1932 when it was released. The movie was banned in cities around the country and people were genuinely terrified by the "freaks" presented in the film. Tod Browning, the film's director, cast actual circus and freak show performers in the film which heightened the terror. People don't like to be confronted by difference especially in the ways we see here. The film centers around a traveling circus and the freak show performers. An aerialist and the strongman scheme to steal money from one of the freaks, a midget named Hans, and then kill him. The rest of the freaks are onto the pair and spend the majority of the film trying to talk Hans out of marrying the woman and then exacting revenge on her and her lover when the time is right. It's a great early horror movie and has gone onto influence a lot of other horror movies and shows, including American Horror Story: Freak Show (season five). Watch if you like subtle horror movies and tales of revenge (which Pumpkin loves).
  6. The Addams Family/Addams Family Values (1991 & 1993): Is there a more perfect movie pair than Raul Julia and Angelica Huston as Gomez and Morticia Addams? The original television series is wonderful but these two movies are perfect. Pumpkin prefers to watch both as a double feature because it's the only way to truly enjoy them. The mixture of camp, creep, and hilarity are what make these movies so delightful. I was in middle school when these movies came out so I know some of the jokes were lost on me then but aren't they wonderful now! All the wonderful characters are there; Cousin Itt steals a lot of the scenes he's in. Probably the most terrifying part of either of these movies is the fact that MC Hammer wrote a song for the first film. Enjoy the video here
  7. Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975): Where does one even begin with this movie? Tim Curry is flawless as Dr. Frank N. Furter; his delivery of both lines and songs are a master class in how to be campy, a little scary, and sexy in a gender-bending kind of way. Barry Bostwick (PS - originated the role of Danny Zuko on Broadway in Grease) is probably why a generation of women love nerdy, nerdy dudes. Susan Sarandon is singing "Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me" is definitely an underappreciated moment of feminist abandon. The entire supporting cast is zany and creepy and bizarre. "Don't Dream, Be It" is the anthem we all need all the time. It camp and science fiction references and abandon. Pumpkin has never gone to see it in the movie theater but I can assure you it's a great experience and you should go out and see it right now. As for the recent Fox remake starring Laverne Cox and a bunch of people I don't know (except a severely underutilized Ben Vereen and a post-stroke Tim Curry), Pumpkin slept through it. Laverne Cox channeled Tina Turner and was made to wear Frank N. Furter's heels but she was the only thing exciting about the entire movie. Stick with the original.
  8. The Worst Witch (1986): Way before Pumpkin entered my life, I used to wait with anticipation (do your best Frank N. Furter impression if you must) for Halloween because HBO would show The Worst Witch every day after school for the entire month of October. Now if I want to watch it, I can add DVDs to my Netflix account, pay $90 for a used copy on Amazon, or watch a pirated version on YouTube. Sigh. This is the greatest movie about a pre-teen witch that doesn't involve Hogwarts ever made. Fairuza Balk stars as Mildred Hubble, the worst witch at Miss Cackle's Academy for Witches. Her spells don't work, she turns a classmate into a pig, and at one point, makes herself invisible. She has no hope of ever meeting The Grand Wizard (Tim Curry again and the only male in the movie) or moving up in school. Despite Mildred's lack of witching skills she is able to thwart a plot involving Mrs. Garret's evil twin sister and becomes the hero of Halloween. And at some point Time Curry sings this song which as an adult seems like the weirdest song to throw into a movie set at an all girls' witch academy. Pumpkin loves this movie because during the cat ceremony at the beginning of the story, Mildred gets a tabby cat rather than a black cat like everyone else. She would have preferred to get an orange tabby but not everyone gets to bask in the wonder of a tiny, orange cat.
  9. Near Dark (1987): There are a lot of vampire movies out there; some are funny, some are creepy and weird, some are supposed to be scary and probably are in a 1940 horror movie kind of way. And then there's Near Dark, Kathryn Bigelow's biker/Western vampire movie that was part of a resurgence of vampire movies in the eighties (The Lost Boys would be another one). Adrian Pasdar was the farm boy who falls in with a group of nomadic vampires including Jenny (who turns him), Severen (a psycho vampire played by Bill Paxton), Homer, the creepy kid vampire (who would go on to play the brother in Teen Witch), and Jesse, the father of them all. What's cool about it is that it's actually more of a Western than a straight up vampire movie. It's gory in the right places and beautiful in the way it's filmed. Vampire movies often drift into the ridiculous and this one never does. Pumpkin respects that; she likes her vampire a little more dirty than sparkly. 
  10. Halloween (1978): The original final girl, Laurie Strode, makes her debut in John Carpenter's classic slasher film. Halloween is now a franchise but the original will always be the best one. Pumpkin always felt that the later films were too complicated by plot twists and unnecessary characters (although she did enjoy Halloween: H20). One of the creepiest elements of the movie is the score. There's not an actual score; Carpenter "composed" the music himself. It's a single piano melody played at 10/8 (or what I'm told is called complex 5/4 meter). It's chilling to listen to and helps establish the mood of the entire film. Halloween helped to establish many of the rules of slasher and horror films from the final girl to the creepy mask to the fact that teenagers should never have sex on Halloween if they want to live. It also inspired some of my own writing. Pumpkin always hides when the music plays but firmly believes all Michael Myers really needed was a kitten and he wouldn't have killed so many people. Kittens make everything better. 

Keep in mind there are lots of Halloween movies out there. Pumpkin's favorites are in no way the only ones to watch but they'll get you started. She also wants to remind you that dressing your cat up for Halloween, even if it is just a tiny witch hat, is stupid and will lead to your cat plotting new ways to torture you. Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Twenty-Two Questions

This is not my originally planned post. I sat down last Sunday and wrote a pretty aggressive post slamming the GOP, their candidate, and the people who still support him. There was a lot of the f-word and anger at their garbage person of a candidate. I expressed disappointment in the system, in humanity, in democracy. It was a lot. Then I had a moment of clarity about what I had written. I was having dinner with some of my friends earlier this week. I don't see these ladies all that often (even though I work with two of them). It was fun and we laughed a lot and shared ridiculous stories. During the course of the evening, what I wrote on Sunday popped into my head and I couldn't bring myself to post it. Not because it's not true (it all is true) but because the anger isn't going to change anything. It's not going to change a person's mind if they're already set on a certain candidate. If his own words haven't changed their mind, my anger isn't going to do it either. The amount of obscenities would only make my mother sad.

So instead of being angry today (although I'm still very angry), I'd like to pose a series of questions that have been stomping around in my head during the last few months of this election. Some will make us all laugh, some channel my anger pretty specifically, some are what they are. I don't expect anyone to have the answers to these questions but I welcome your attempts in the comments. And you know, lists always make me feel better.
  1. When did the GOP get so weak? I get that minorities and women aren't their people of choice but when did their rhetoric of hate become the only thing their party is about? Didn't they at least, at one point, talk about their platform and policy? I feel like that used to be a thing.
  2. Does Paul Ryan get up in the morning, look at his collection of blue ties (the ones that bring out his eyes in a way us Democratic ladies don't like to admit we enjoy), and say to himself, "Does this shade of blue make me look less like I'm lying when I say I support our nominee? Or was it the sky blue tie? I can never remember."
  3. When Hillary Clinton did the shoulder shimmy at the first debate, do you think she thought "Channel Beyonce but also give Kate McKinnon something good to do on SNL?"
  4. How many people think having 17 candidates in a primary is a good idea?
  5. Can anyone pinpoint the day it became acceptable to question the patriotism of a family who lost their son to war because of their religious beliefs?
  6. Exactly where are these locker rooms the Republican candidate hangs out in? I don't think he understands that most people don't stand around discussing how they can get away with sexual assault in locker rooms unless they swim for Stanford or play football for Steubenville. 
  7. When did we, as a nation, get so hung up on the word "pussy" being vulgar but don't condemn a candidate who doles out racist, homophobic, and xenophobic speech like he's giving out terrible candy on Halloween?
  8. Follow up question: What type of candy do you think each candidate gives out on Halloween?
  9. Who would watch a fourth debate if RuPaul was the debate moderator and made the nominees lip sync for their lives? 
  10. Does Kellyanne Conway take five showers a day to cleanse herself of the filth she has to go on television and defend?
  11. Did John McCain and every other GOP mouthpiece wake up after the bus video and realize "Holy shit, if I leave my mother/daughter/sister/wife in a room with him he might actually assault them? Now I have to go on television and talk about how much I love my wife/daughter/mother/sister because obviously I do all the time but particularly when it will make me look like I care about women generally. I mean, I do care about women generally but mostly when they sit quietly and don't talk about having freedom to make decisions about their bodies or contradict anything else I say."
  12. Who would have thought that the Bush who would actually impact this election would be Billy Bush?
  13. Does anyone know the appropriate gift to send to the debate moderators for their service to this country? Except Lester Holt - he gets nothing. 
  14. Now that Rhianna is endorsing HRC, do you think she and Katy Perry will make up? I want them to be friends. I don't know why but I really want it to happen.
  15. Is Melania okay?
  16. Do you think Chelsea Clinton texts her dad (after teaching him how to text) every day asking him to make smart life choices? I think I would if I was her.
  17. If Mike Pence and Tim Kaine lived in the same neighborhood somewhere in suburban American and one of the teenagers in the neighborhood threw a rager, which one would call the cops?
  18. Follow up question: How many times would he call the cops in one evening?
  19. Has anyone checked on Ben Carson lately? Is he okay? Does he know where he is and what planet he's on?
  20. Which pantsuit was your favorite? It's the white one right? You don't think a white pantsuit is going to be good with her hair color but it just is.
  21. Who was your favorite celebrity at the conventions? You pick the convention. 
  22. What happened to Rudy Guiliani? I thought being the un-fun Republican from the Northeast was Chris Christie's job.
In the next seventeen days, I'm sure I'll come up with a lot more questions we need to answer. Until then, I'll be over here waiting for my "Icky Trump" t-shirt to arrive and listening to Janet Jackson's Control on repeat.

Happy Democratic Process America!

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Saturday, October 8, 2016

Down at the Rock N Roll Club

There's a great documentary called The Other F Word that chronicles prominent punk musicians (which I know is probably an oxymoron) as they navigate the world of fatherhood. Matt Freeman and Lars Frederikson from Rancid, the lead singer of Everclear, one of the Blink-182 guys, Tony Hawk, and Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo and musical score fame are some of the dads featured. I saw this documentary a few years ago on Showtime (of all places). It's a great documentary for many reasons: some of these guys came from single parent homes (mostly raised by mothers) or dealt with abusive or absent fathers and their music is an output of those experiences. Aggression, anger, and pain fuel some of their best songs. Then add their own entry into fatherhood into the mix and it's fascinating to see each one deal with having children and what that means as a punk. I can't remember if it's Tony Adolescent from the band The Adolescents or someone else, but I remember a part of the movie where one of the guys talks about having to decide on curfews and rules knowing that A. he had none of those things and B. he did a lot stupid and illegal things when he was kids' ages. Was he being a good parent, a narc, or something else entirely?

This particular documentary popped into my head as I was standing in line and later standing in the 9:30 Club waiting for the Green Day show to start. I go to a lot of concerts; it's one of my favorite things to do. The types of bands I go see tend to be the types of bands that have fans of all ages. Some of that is the appeal of their music; some of it is younger people coming to see bands they like that their parents introduced them to and they get to share in the concert experience. I think the last time I was at a show with only people my own age was The Strokes show I went to in Honolulu in 2002. That might have had more to do with the venue than anything else; it was at a hidden club in an office park that is popular for karaoke when live bands aren't playing. I half wonder if some random business men wandered in for karaoke and instead stumbled on to an unimpressed Julian Casablancas singing some songs.

But I digress.

Anyway, I was surrounded by all ages both outside in line and once I settled into my spot in the standing room only club. When I go to the 9:30 Club I always stand in the back by the sound booth. This is the best place to stand because no one is behind me to push me forward and I can lean on the booth (very important when standing for four or more hours). The only "problem" with this spot is late comers always stand right in front of me and then I have to wait until they decide to worm their way forward to get out of my line of vision. To my right were two friends, a boy and a girl, in their early twenties who, as far as I could tell, should be dating but are not because they're very good friends but I could see that the dude is super into the girl. I also learned that they're Green Day fanatics and knew all the words and danced liked no one/everyone was watching. Also, we were all wearing the same shoes (as were most of the people in the audience). On my left, at first it was a couple, around my age who were possibly on a date night away from their children. They did not seem like a couple who would be into Green Day but I then remembered they were in high school in 1994, the last time Green Day played at the 9:30 Club so they are exactly the type of people who would be Green Day fans. A little while later they would be joined by an older gentleman, maybe in his late 50s or early 60s. I'm pretty certain he picked standing next to me as a choice since A. people have a hard time determining how old I am so that B. if he hit one me, it would be with an appropriately younger woman rather than a teenager. This is how rock show logic works.

To the front - a sea of humanity, spanning from a dude my dad's age wearing an Offspring t-shirt to a smattering of children in their early teens to the legion of people in the early to mid-30s who were probably all thinking to themselves "my feet are going to hurt so bad tomorrow and I have to go to work, but fuck it all, I want to rock out at the Green Day show!" There were a surprising number of people I will describe as "business men" (you know what I mean). I have no idea if they were there from work or were in some way connected to the bands. They spent the show looking official and out of place even as they got into songs. It was strange. My favorites where the kids, mostly around 12 or 13, accompanied by their parents who were wearing Green Day shirts from the 90s. One of the kids, the one who made it on stage to sing the last verse of "Longview", looked like a mini Billy Joe Armstrong. He did an epic stage dive and crowd surfed his way back to where his mom was waiting for him (not joking about any of this). Another kid I saw in line could have been Joey Ramone's little brother. There were a couple of kids in the upstairs section who looked in awe of what was going on around them; I'm guessing it was their first concert. It's the multi-generational nature of shows like this that make me a proud rock fan.

I can say, hands down, this is one of the best concerts I've ever been to. Part of it was the venue; the 9:30 Club is small and intimate. I think its capacity is around 1200 for standing shows and the Green Day show sold out in a record five minutes. I was one of those people who logged on at 8:30 in the morning the day the tickets went on sale. When I refreshed at 10 am, I had my ticket in 2 minutes. Apparently, I'm the only one who had that experience (sorry guys who didn't get tickets...but not really). This was my first Green Day show and I don't know if I can ever see them again after this. The opening act, Dog Party, was great. For the Riot Grrl in me, they were the perfect start to the evening. A few minutes before Green Day was set to start, Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" started playing and incited an epic audience singalong for the entirety of the song. If you've never been in a rock club with a thousand of your closest friends singing along to this song, you have not lived. This was followed by The Ramones' "Blitzkrieg Bop" and a person in a bunny suit taunting the audience and getting everyone ready for the big show.

Green Day hit the stage and started with "Know Your Enemy" off of 21st Century Breakdown, and on the musical version of my favorite of their albums (although not my first Green Day album) American Idiot. I've been obsessed with American Idiot since it came out and love the Broadway musical version equally. It was one of those albums that was so timely when it was released and has remained so, especially if you think of where we are now in the current election cycle. I've been in some very enthusiastic crowds at concerts but never anything like this. The energy, both from the band and the audience, was on from the start and never stopped even through a few songs from the new album people weren't as familiar with (because the new album came out four days after this concert). A big part of this is the band; they have the energy of a band half their age and enjoy performing. They're talented and still have that mischievous quality about them that made Green Day famous (and/or makes them sellouts depending on which camp you belong to). The look on the kid's face when Billie Joe Armstrong told him to stage dive was amazing; that kid will never forget that moment. He'll probably start a band if he hasn't already.

I could feel the music. You know when you go to a concert and you can actually feel the music? Like the drums hit you in the sternum and the bass sits in your stomach and the rest of it takes over and your totally immersed in each song? That was what this concert was like. None of it is because the music is loud but it's because you know the songs and the band and the fans. It's because each person is part of the creating the moment of that show. I wrote a scene much like this at the end of novel (the one that is almost done and I hope to soon self-publish). As I leaned back against the booth in a quieter moment (not many of these throughout the evening), I realized how right I got that scene. There is, in that time before a band comes on stage or in the silence between songs, a second where the crowd relaxes, regroups after dancing or moshing around, and then sucks in a collective breath and waits for the next song to burst into the world. When it does, the organized chaos of a rock concert continues and no one can help but get swept up in the moment.

We weren't supposed to take pictures but I snuck one. I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not since there were people filming the show who shouldn't have been. Green Day will have to forgive us all.