If you can't say anything nice...

I want to believe with all of my heart that people are inherently good. If I only focused on the news then I would always be proven wrong. However, I'd rather look on the bright side of things than be negative all the time. Of course, sometimes someone says something to me and all I can think is "Please don't reproduce." It's amazing the things that people will say to each other. It doesn't seem to matter if you're lifelong friends or strangers in line at Starbucks, no one seems to understand the concept of appropriate topics of conversation. Or they've just forgotten how to operate in polite society (if such a thing even exists anymore). This is probably why some people don't leave their homes.

You know that part in You've Got Mail when Kathleen and Joe are chatting online about zingers? Of course, they don't know who the other person is and don't realize that they're talking about each other the whole time. Anyway, Kathleen wants to be able to respond to a person when they say random things to her or belittle her existence. Joe, who is excellent at the retort, suggests that he give her his ability to do this and he'll be the nice one all the time. Like Kathleen, I don't always have the right retort when people say really stupid things to me. Sometimes, I just can't put the words together. This seems to be happening to me more and more lately. 

How does one respond to awkward and insensitive comments? As I work on this whole leading lady thing, I realize I need some snappy retorts that are also witty and insightful. I want to answer and shut them down but not stoop to the same level. So let's play a game: I will tell you 10 of the most awkward/mean comments someone has said to me, the situation in which it occurred (if needed), and my response. You can tell me (in the comments) if I had a good response or what you would have said instead . You're helping me be a better leading lady and I'm helping you get some of your passive aggressiveness out - win for us all.

1. Is this your daughter? This happened a few weeks ago. One of my co-workers and I were at a liquor store in Clarendon picking up some items for a party. One of the clerks said this to me. Now, I'm 34 and my co-worker is in her late 20s - it is not physically possible for me to be her mother. And there's no way I look old enough to actually be her mother.
My response: I laughed and walked out of the store while she paid.

2. Oh, you have a cat. This implies spinsterhood and loneliness. I hear this comment more often than you think. That's probably not true - I probably hear it as much as you think I do. Here's the thing - I am not the only person in the world who has a cat. Lots of people do.
My response: A lot of times I show people a picture of Pumpkin. How can you question that face? And that pose? I also like to talk about how much fun it is to have a one performer circus in my living room. Some people don't find that funny. Clearly they don't have a sense of humor.

3. I can't understand why you're still single. You're so great!
My response: I've never had a good response for this. I once told one of my friends that my kind of greatness is an acquired taste. I don't like the self-deprecating feel of that comment so I need something else.

4. So you know that there isn't a guy out there that gets all the stuff that you talk about right? Maybe you should tone it down. True story: I was having dinner with a friend recently and we were discussing dating and the possibility of online dating. She was talking about creating her profile on one of the sites and what a process it was to create one that didn't sound fake or make her sound like a freak. She stopped her thought and said the above comment to me.
My response: I was really surprised that my friend said this. It was totally unexpected. Yes, I know I'm a little geeky about certain things but everyone's got their something. So, I said exactly that and sang a little bit of that Nikka Costa song that was on an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She told me that proved her point.

5. You'd be so much prettier if you wore more makeup.
My response: I do wear makeup just not eye makeup and I tend to wear more muted lip colors. I can't see very well when I take off my glasses (and I love my glasses so no contacts comments) so putting on eye makeup is next to impossible. I have actually stabbed myself in the eye with a mascara wand and once put eyeliner on in a way that made it look like I belonged in a surrealist painting (not pretty). I stick to a simple concealer, powder, lip gloss regimen. That should be enough for the world. 

6. Maybe you shouldn't read so much. Or talk about books. Smart girls are intimidating.

My response: Disagree. Reading is awesome. I have always been an indoor kid and reading has always been my preferred pastime. If there was an Olympics for reading I'd probably win. I'm actually tracking the books I read this year after reading an article about the fact that Americans only read four books a year. If my smartness is intimidating then I don't have time for you.

7. You went to Paris alone? I bet that was fun.
My response:
 

A rare photo of myself that I like.

8. Is this low-fat? (or vegan or gluten free or whatever else a person can come up with) I bake a lot and I usually take whatever I make into work. This is what people ask me all the time.
My response: No. I get the gluten free one the most but I'm not participating in a gluten free lifestyle so I'm not going to bake that way. If I was making something specifically for you and you are gluten free, I would make the recipe accordingly. The low-fat thing kills me - cupcakes usually aren't. If you're worried about the calories don't eat it.
 
9. You'd be such a good mom!
My response: A lot of single women struggle with a response to this comment. I've never figured this one out either. I agree? But then again, maybe I wouldn't be. I could be terrible at being a mom. I could just excel at being a pet mom - my sarcasm doesn't really impact Pumpkin because she doesn't know what I'm saying. You don't know and I don't know.

10. It must feel awful sitting in a restaurant by yourself. I can barely go to the store alone. I'd die if I had to eat alone too.
My response: Why would you want to go to the grocery with other people? Grocery shopping is an activity that I would do alone even if I was married. People put things in the cart wrong (this is my mom's fault by the way) and don't even get me started with bagging - there is a system and you're doing it wrong. My normal response is this: When you travel for work as I do (and have since 2004) you really don't have much of a choice. You can either hide in your hotel room or go have a nice meal in a restaurant where someone will wait on you. Bring a book, a crossword puzzle, or develop your eavesdropping abilities (or all three so the eavesdropping isn't so obvious). I don't sit at the bar because of my ability to attract the creepiest human beings in a restaurant (it's my superpower). So I take a table. I know restaurants don't always like that but I tip well and I'm a good guest. Tip: Be extra nice to your waiter. I've gotten free wine, dessert, and a discount on my bill because I was nice and provided an oasis from the crazy of the larger tables in the place. And you won't die. Unless you choke on something and no one knows the Heimlich maneuver.

Now it's your turn Island readers. Give me some suggestions for how to respond to these comments and questions. They're not going to go away so help me develop and refine my leading lady retort. 


Next Friday: Our dear friend Bad Shakespeare returns to the Island to discuss the greatest show of all time, Gilmore Girls. I head over to visit the world of Bad Shakespeare and talk about some show called Breaking Bad. I don't know if you've heard of it. I guess it's kind of a big deal.

Oy with the poodles already

I own all seven seasons of the Gilmore Girls on DVD. This is one of my all-time favorite television shows. I'm still pretty emotional about the fact that it ended. In 2007 - time does not heal all wounds. I have a problem with getting attached to amazing fictional characters. It's particularly difficult not to get attached when the characters are so well written and so much of what happens to them is so relatable. Any true fan of anything will tell you this. I may not be freakishly attached to my mother as Rory is to Lorelai but I understand what having a strong mother-daughter relationship is like. I also know a lot about being quirky and I like rapid fire dialogue, pop culture references, and coffee (so much coffee).

I tend to re-watch seasons of Gilmore Girls when I'm in a rut or stressed about something. I was thinking about this earlier in the week when I started watching season 4 again; I can pinpoint the last three times I've re-watched a season and it's always around a stressful time in my life. Season 4 is my favorite season and I had this moment of clarity about why this is - this is the season of significant change for almost every character. Change is hard and it's an entire season of change so everyone is a little off. Some of the change is positive (Sookie's baby!) but most of it is just hard. I think this is why I like this season so much.

Here are the highlights:

• Rory begins her freshman year at Yale
• Lorelai and Sookie finally break ground on the Dragonfly Inn
• Luke gets married but then decides to get divorced but then other stuff happens
• Dean gets married but admits he still loves Rory (they'll make some bad choices together later on - not appropriate)
• Richard embarks on a new business venture with Jason Stiles, who is also a temporary love interest for Lorelai
• Emily is "replaced" in Richard's new business by Jason's more modern approach to clients
• Sookie and Jackson have their first baby
• Paris starts an affair with a professor (and it happens to be Michael York)
• Lane and the band add Sebastian Bach to the line up AND Lane finally stands up to Mrs. Kim (and it does not go well)

I could go on but I think you get the point. Nothing is easy in this season. Rory has to adjust to being in college and having to figure out how to do things like date and not kill her roommates. Lorelai is B-R-O-K-E once the inn construction begins so she and Sookie have to find temporary gigs (like their catering company) to bring in some income. Sookie freaks out about being a first time mother. And what about that time Rory saw her first love get married? Devastating. So it makes sense to me that I would find comfort in the hectic, stressed filled season when my own life is in flux or whatever it is right now. I feel their pain and spending a little time with old friends is soothing.

I've been working for the same company for seven years. In that time, I've had eight different job titles but I've basically done some variation of the same thing for the entire time I've worked here (support and training). This is not a terrible thing and I know that I'm lucky to have a job and a mostly supportive work environment. That's why I feel awful about my current predicament - I don't really know if I'm doing what I should be doing with my life. I don't wake up in the morning excited about the prospect of going to work. I feel selfish and silly complaining about this (first world problems and all) but it's something that's been gnawing at me for quite some time. Yes, I am good at what I do and yes, I enjoy working with my colleagues and friends and clients. Is being good at something enough to be fulfilling? Is this some "I'm on the edge of the millennial generation" complaint that I shouldn't say out loud? I work with counselors and teachers daily and a lot times our conversations turn to student engagement and encouraging students to find their path - do we do the same thing? Is it wrong to want to follow that advice even if it were to take me out of the safety of what I currently do? How do you even go about figuring out that path?

I don't think fulfillment was something that my grandparents thought much of when they were in the work world. Auto factory jobs, the military, working at a potato chip factory were ways to pay the bills and provide for their families. And that was enough. I can't recall a conversation I ever had with any of my grandparents about careers and jobs. It was just something that they did and it didn't make them who they are. I don't think either of my parents thought much about fulfillment either. They always seemed to like their jobs but I'm not really sure that's what made their lives. We've never talked about it so I don't really know.

So why is it different for me? If it was good enough for my grandpa to wake up every morning and go to work and just do his job, why can't I do the same thing? Why do I need to wake up and be excited to go to work? To feel connected to what I do? Part of the problem (I think) is that we focus too much on what people do as a way of describing who they are. For me, that ends up meaning always being helpful and sunny and polite since that's what Erin Counselor would be like.

I figured that by now I would have figured it out. But I'm finding that I haven't. And so here we are, re-watching season 4 of Gilmore Girls and laughing and being a little sad when things don't go their way. If Lorelai and Sookie can open their inn then what can I do? Leading ladies figure stuff out so I guess that's what I have to do.

If I don't I guess I could sell all of my possessions and spend the rest of my days wandering around the world helping people with a hug and smile.

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You're Doing Everything Wrong: Pop Tart Edition

This is not a post about pop stars. Some people call pop stars "pop tarts" but that's not something I do. Mostly because the word "tart" is a bit offensive when using it to describe a person. Unless you're describing 1970s Rod Stewart - he was a total man tart. Anyway, this post is about pastries, specifically pop tarts.

I don't have children. This is probably abundantly clear if you've read just one of the posts on this blog. According to one of my friends (who shall remain nameless), I tend to do things that a mom would do and on occasion, end up treating my friends like children. This is most evident in two characteristics:

1. I carry incredibly too much stuff in my purse including things that no one really thinks they  need but eventually someone does need (like a tape measure and snacks)
2. I bake a lot of things that parents would probably make for their kids

I can't disagree with either statement: I do carry a ton of stuff in my purse. It is probably not necessary to have a pen case (with about 10 pens) and a small sewing kit with me at all times but that's how I roll.

The second point is also very true. I'm an avid baker and I believe that part of the fun of baking is in fact having fun with what you're baking. Yes, I can have fun while I make an Italian Orange Cake (which takes 3 days to make) but that particular cake is also one that takes a lot of concentration and some of my more refined baking skills. So I like to balance serious baking projects with baking that is a bit more whimsical. If that means that I occasionally treat my friends, family, and co-workers like children, well, they'll just have to deal with it. I'm sure that the prospect of eating homemade graham crackers and marshmallows is better than somehow being offended by the idea that I'm treating you to the adult version of snack time (bourbon marshmallows aside).

Which brings me to pop tarts. I have been a fan of Pop Tarts (the Kellogg's breakfast treat) since middle school. My three favorite flavors are strawberry frosted, brown sugar cinnamon, and s'mores. I actually prefer them cold and not for breakfast. Having a Pop Tart as a snack is lovely. About two years ago, I received my latest issue of Food Network Magazine and discovered a recipe for breakfast tarts. Since Pop Tarts is a trademarked phrase, breakfast tart is what FNM came up for this recipe.

The result? Awesomeness.

First batch - so delicious

My co-workers in the Oakland office loved them and I started keeping track of a list of variations on the filling and frosting. I eventually made Nutella raspberry tarts and s'mores tarts. Both of these varieties were also very good.

Nutella Raspberry

My favorite Pop Tart is brown sugar cinnamon. I think it tastes like fall and comfy pjs and a good book. I haven't made this variety yet because I didn't like any of the recipes I found. I've been working on my own version but hadn't figured out the frosting (I call this the frosting conundrum when telling my friends). Then, about a week or so ago, I had an idea. I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep but was having trouble turning off work stuff so I was wide awake. I was not thinking about baking or breakfast tarts when all of the sudden, it hit me. I could use the brown sugar frosting from my pumpkin cookies on these pop tarts! This is the kind of frosting that you want to eat with a spoon it's so good. And it's perfect for these pop tarts.

And then came another revelation: I've been making my version of pop tarts (or breakfast pastries if you don't want me to be sued by Kellogg's) wrong.

Now, I don't mean to say that the recipe is incorrect or that I missed an ingredient. No, I've been making the little tarts by hand using a pastry wheel (effective for cutting) and a fork for crimping the edges to seal all the deliciousness in. This method is both time consuming and horribly messy and ineffective for sealing the tarts. As hard as I try my hand cut pastries aren't always even so when assembling the tart, the sides don't always match up. This leads to a melty mess of Nutella or jelly escaping onto your pans. Not pretty.

I've resisted buying a pastry press to do this even though a friend sent me a link to an inexpensive but highly rated version at Williams-Sonoma. I was a fool to wait so long to buy this press. Now I have two.

Making the tarts was so much easier - I knew how many I would get out of each roll since the press makes for more even cut outs. Yes, I could use a ruler to measure when I'm using a pastry wheel but it's not the same. The press portion also helps create a much better seal than my fork ever did. For the strawberry tarts, there was less jelly on the pan so clean up was much quicker. The pastry press was the best 97 cents I've ever spent. It was also the cheapest thing I've ever purchased at Williams-Sonoma.

And now to the final step - the frosting and decorating. I made two kinds of frosting for today: brown sugar and vanilla. Both of these frosting/glaze recipes are ones that I've made before and have perfected. This is an important part of baking anything. Once you've made a recipe (or a box mix) once and it turned out well, perfect it and make it yours. The brown sugar frosting is one I make for pumpkin cookies. I've changed the recipe slightly (I cannot tell you what I changed) and now the frosting is perfect. It's going to be a wicked awesome compliment to the brown sugar cinnamon tarts. The vanilla glaze is from my king cake recipe. I use both almond and vanilla extracts for this one and it makes it a little more special on something like a homemade pop tart.

I guess the real verdict will come tomorrow when my co-workers get to try the new addition (brown sugar cinnamon) and the old standard strawberry. They certainly smell good!

I follow the FNM recipe for the strawberry version except that I use my own glaze instead of the orange glaze they suggest (although I should try that one day). I've made the recipe using homemade pie dough and store bought. I don't find that there's much of a difference in taste and the baking time is the same. Pie crust can be intimidating for casual bakers so use the store bought if that makes you feel more confident. You won't be doing anything wrong - you're making homemade pop tarts!

The brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts are my own recipe with the addition of the brown sugar frosting from a Harry Potter website (no joke - a friend sent it to me and it's awesome). The filling is a mixture of dark brown sugar, granulated sugar, and flour. An egg wash gives the pastry the brown crispy look.

You can reheat the pop tarts just make sure to keep an eye on them while you do. You can either microwave (10-15 seconds on medium) or toast (10-20 seconds on the lowest setting).

Rod Stewart photo from http://soundtracktomyday.blogspot.com/2013/05/rod-stewart-early-hits.html
All other photos by me

DC Days: See It Before It's Gone

My family moved to northern Virginia when I was in the 7th grade. I started school right after winter break so smack dab in the middle of the school year. This is the worst thing ever for a military kid. By mid-year, everyone already has their groups of friends and their lunch table. Being the new kid is not anything like the movies: you are not mysterious (especially in the 7th grade), your accent is not charming, and no one cares about where you used to live. So I totally lucked out by making two wonderful friends within the first few days of starting at Lake Braddock. And thankfully, I have stayed friends with them. We've had our ups and downs as all friendships do but we've made it through it all and still like one another. That's pretty cool in my book.

When I proposed DC Days to a few friends, Anita was the first person to reply that she was in for a day. I expected this and also figured she'd be one of the first to actually plan her day. This seemed fitting given that she was one of my first friends here and we've always shared a love of the city even though it also infuriates us on occasion. To recap the plan: each of my friends plan a day for me in the DC area complete with activities, restaurants/bars/cafes, and I will document the adventure here on the Island so other people can enjoy the fun on their own DC Day. Anita came up with a theme: See It Before It's Gone (this will become clear as I go through the day). There's also a secondary theme about the US Postal Service.

The itinerary:

• The Old Post Office Pavilion 

• The National Aquarium DC

• The US Postal Museum

Onward we tour!

Stop 1: Welcome to the nation's first superfluous building
I believe that Anita is a Metro good luck charm. Both times I have taken Metro with her in recent months there has been some kind of weird routing or need to take a bus for part of our trip. Like the last time, we had perfect Metro timing and no crazy anything. She must be a Metro whisperer.

We headed to Federal Triangle to get to our first stop of the day, the Old Post Office Pavilion. I've been to this building many times (this is what happens when you move somewhere that every member of your family wants to see) but it's been years. Anita has also been but had never been up in the Tower. The Tower is impressive - you can see all over DC and into Arlington from the top. It's a gorgeous view.

The Tower also houses the Bells of Congress, which are rung at the start and end of sessions and federal holidays. It's run by the Park Service and the Washington Ringing Society, a volunteer group, are responsible for bell ringing. The building was the first federal building on Pennsylvania Avenue and the first government building to house its own power plant. Originally built as the Postal Department Headquarters, it fell into disuse and disrepair in the 1930s and was set to be razed but it was saved as it became home to many government agencies during the Great Depression. In the 1970s, Nancy Hanks, chairwoman of the NEA, spearheaded a restoration project for the building. Shops and restaurants make up most of what's open to the public today and some government offices still remain.

It's a stunning building from the outside complete with a statue of Benjamin Franklin (the nation's first Postmaster General) and our spirit guide for the day (Ben pops up everywhere). Here's the most important thing you need to know about the Old Post Office - Donald Trump just finalized a deal to redevelop the building.

Did your heart just sink a bit? Mine did when Anita told me this in the lead up to yesterday's trip. The deal was just approved by Congress. Trump will spend something like $200 million to renovate and add to the building including a spa and hotel. Now since the building is a historic landmark, he can't tear it down or make changes to the exterior so the beauty of the building will at least be intact. But as Anita and I discussed yesterday over lunch in the food court after our trip up to the Tower, what will he do with the interior and the local businesses that make up the few remaining shops and restaurants? Several have already chosen to close their doors in reaction to the deal. Does it take away from the character of the building if there's a Subway, a Starbucks, and a McDonald's? Or could it be more like Union Station where the chains don't feel out of place and don't take away from the beauty or history of the building?

We won't really know what the future of the Old Post Office Pavilion will be until the Trump begins this project but we can hope that he'll heed the words of Nancy Hanks: "Old buildings are like old friends. They reassure people in times of rapid change. They encourage people to dream about their cities - to think before they build, to consider alternatives before they tear down." (from the Park Service hand out).

With that thought in our minds, we moved onto our next stop of the day.

Stop 2: Feed me Seymour
This may come as a bit of surprise to many of you but there is a tiny National Aquarium in DC. It's located in the basement of the Commerce Building on 14th and Constitution (not too far from the Old Post Office Pavilion and right off the National Mall). The Commerce Building seems like an unlikely place for an aquarium but that's where it is. The National Aquarium opened in 1873 as the nation's first public aquarium and moved to the Commerce Building in 1932. The tiny aquarium will close its doors on September 30 so you only have a few weeks to visit.

This is the smallest aquarium I have ever been to. As we entered the building and started walking down the blue stairway, I thought of entering Ripley's Believe or Not, like I was descending into some sort of weird basement of oddities. No oddities here just your standard aquarium displays featuring aquatic life from all over the globe. You can get through the exhibit in about 20 minutes if it's not crowded (which it was on Saturday) or if you don't get distracted by a baby turtle and it's mom swimming. This happened to us - I have never seen anything as cute as a baby turtle learning to swim. He sort of rode around on his mom's back and then would swim a little on his own and then rush back to mom. Adorable. We were also there in time for the shark feeding. I felt sort of bad for the guy doing the shark feeding; he came out before to share some facts about the sharks on display and to explain that this wouldn't be the feeding frenzy people were probably expecting. No one was really listening and several people were being a little obnoxious (Side note: It is not cool to say that a crying child should be thrown into the shark tank. Some d-bag behind us did just that and it was not funny.).

Anyway, as the guy was giving his talk all I could think was "Feed Me Seymour" from the musical Little Shop of Horrors. The sharks just wanted to be fed and the people wanted a shark feeding frenzy. This was compounded by a guitarfish that started swimming behind the guy (who I called Seymour) as if he were performing for the crowd. Once the feeding actually started, it was sort of a let down. Most of the sharks just sort of bumped into each other and the sun starfish moved a quarter of inch.





My favorite part of this stop was the lighting fixture outside of the building. The design includes bats. Anita told me this was a symbol of good luck which totally seems legit. I can actually understand why this aquarium is closing (all the aquatic life are moving to Baltimore). It's in a weird place and seems sort of sad. The fish even seem a little bored. I don't know if I'd go out of my way to come here but if you're in the area between now and September 30, it's worth stopping by if only to say that you went to the first public aquarium in the nation which also happens to be in the Commerce Building. If you catch a shark feeding, be nice to Seymour (not his name) and give him a little attention while he's giving his "tour".

Stop 3: What do taxidermy, Benjamin Franklin, and the Pony Express all have in common?
Our final stop of the day was actually the one I was most looking forward to visiting. Anita and I both share a love of postcards and receiving actual physical mail from people (that doesn't include bills or junk mail). She sends postcards to people monthly. I am not as dedicated as she is so I only send them when I'm traveling or get the idea that I need to write to someone. There's something so personal and delightful about receiving a letter or postcard in the mail. And also romantic. For years, Anita has talked about starting a National Postcard Month and I'm hoping that this year it happens. I will help in any way I can.

Anita described the Postal Museum (part of the Smithsonian Institute) as "adorable". I would totally agree with that description. Everything is on one floor and designed in such as way that you can see everything in a few hours (probably two if you wanted to read everything). The exhibits are interactive (we got several postcards stamped) and you can try sorting mail and playing a game that includes zip codes. I now know what each number in a a zip code represents. I'm not going to tell you because you should go to the museum and find out for yourself. There's even an exhibit on the Pony Express (one of my favorites). The museum will open a new stamp gallery later this month so I'll have to go back to check that out too.
 

We also happened upon Owney, the mascot of the Albany, NY post office from 1887-1897. In addition to a statue of Owney as you enter the museum, he's also actually there. Owney was preserved after his death and now resides in teh museum near the train exhibit. You can also view all the medal and tags he received during his time of service. I have to admit that the taxidermy version of Owney was a little creepy but the medals were interesting and more importantly, I liked the idea of Owney. Definitely harkens back to a time where the Post Office mattered.

This museum was my favorite part of the day. It was fun and very hands-on with some different exhibits - there's currently one that focuses on mail service on the Titanic and Hindenburg disasters called "Fire & Ice". I also enjoyed the anniversary exhibit mostly because of this:

I learn something new everyday. The other nice thing about the location of the Postal Museum is that it is next door to Union Station, a favorite building of mine. Union Station is currently undergoing some renovations but it's still magnificent and a great place to end a long day of touring around DC> Anita and I enjoyed crepes and discussed our day.

While the Postal Museum isn't in danger of closing anytime soon, the mail and more specifically, the art of letter writing, is dying before our eyes. Everyone wants everything immediately and even though we're not sending mail by Pony Express anymore, even a few days is too long for some. Both Anita and I hate to think of living in a time when we wouldn't be able to send something as simple as a postcard to someone. E-mail just isn't the same. Do yourself a favor and visit the Postal Museum and then go home and write someone a letter (and don't forget to mail it). You can even buy stamps at the museum if you need them.

Thanks to Anita for being the inaugural DC Day planner! Information on how to get to each place we visited is listed below and the links to the locations appear at the top of the post. I leave you with a few more photos from our day.

Get out there and enjoy the city!

How to get there:

Metro: 

• Federal Triangle (for both the Pavilion and the aquarium)

• Union Station (for the Postal Museum

NOTE: Metro is doing rebuilding on the red line so you may have to take a bus to and from Union Station. Get off at Judiciary Square and buses will be waiting.

Cost of the day:

• Admission to the National Aquarium DC: $9.95 (adult); $4.95 (children 3 and up)  
• Lunch: $18 for two combos at Quick Pita at the Old Post Office Pavilion Crepes: $10 at Crepe Lena (nutella and raspberry is divine)  
• Metro: $5.70 per person (total for the day)

DC Days: Tourist is not a dirty word

I have a reoccurring dream that I'm starting a new job as a museum tour guide. The dream revolves around my first day of work and my tour guide uniform. The uniform resembles the Royalty Airlines uniforms in the movie View from the Top.

In the dream, I stress over the uniform mostly because of the hat. I look ridiculous in hats always. Apparently, the hat is a focal point of the uniform and I have to wear it all the time. This bothers me and I spend a considerable amount of time trying it on in different ways and trying to look less like a flight attendant or 1940s cigarette girl (although both looks seem legit). However, the most important part of the dream is the fact that I'm so excited about being a tour guide. I am getting ready for work and reciting my tour to myself in the mirror as I dry my hair, brush my teeth, and put on makeup (I don't really wear makeup in real life so maybe my dream is telling me to learn how to apply eyeliner). I usually wake up before I get to give my first tour but I do recite a portion of the tour so I know it's an art museum of some type and I seem to know my stuff. Clearly, my dream is telling me that I have missed my calling in life and need to become a professional tour or museum guide.

I have actually been a tour guide in a museum before but it was a completely volunteer gig. Three years ago, I was a guide at the Newseum here in DC and gave tours of the museum's permanent exhibits. I loved it. I had some great personal stories about the exhibits and knew a ton of random facts that I could throw into the script as needed or depending on my audience. Sometimes being a history nerd totally pays off. Had I not moved to California, I probably would still be a guide. Alas, they didn't need me when I came back (sad face). I've also worked at the Smithsonian at the Freer and Sackler Galleries (info desk) and now do something similar at the National Museum for Women in the Arts. I like to talk to people and give them helpful advice on what they should do and see in our fair city. Tour guiding allows me to be bossy while still being helpful.

One of my biggest pet peeves with people who live in the DC metro area is that the vast majority don't take advantage of all the wonderful things there are to do and see in the region. I get that it's hard to get all jazzed up about driving or Metro-ing into DC after you've spent your work week commuting and generally being grumpy, but it's totally worth it. Between the historical monuments and spaces, museums, concerts, and parks you could literally never have an empty space on your calendar. And what's even better? The vast majority of it is free. So because I like you and want to help you enjoy DC more, I've decided to devote several posts over the next few weeks to being a DC tourist. I'll spend the next several weekends visiting interesting and fun places and tell you all about it so you can plan your own DC Day.

Here's the part of this that I'm most excited about: I'm not doing the planning for any of these days. I've asked my friends to do that for me. Their directions were simple:

• Plan a half or full day of activities that can be done on a weekend (either Saturday or Sunday)
• The itinerary should be Metro accessible (start/end point) and easily walkable
• The day can include DC, Maryland, and/or Virginia
• Include restaurants, bars, and/or cafes
• Provide a list items (like appropriate clothes or shoes) that I might need to make the day more enjoyable - especially important if we're going to multiple places throughout the day
• Provide some details about why they selected the places on their day - they can pick a theme if they want and I'll even let them pick the title of the blog post
• Agree to be featured on the Island (including photos and quotes)
• Decide if they want to join me on the day or if I go by myself

I'll complete the trip over the weekend and share the day on the Island during the week so that you can plan your next weekend accordingly (including Metro information and any costs associated with the day and lots of photos). If you've randomly stumbled across this blog by searching for "Andrew McCarthy bobblehead" or "Michael Beck shirtless" (by the way, we should probably be friends) and don't live in DC, hopefully this will give you some ideas if you ever make it to our lovely city.

This weekend I kick off DC Days with one of my oldest friends, Anita (she's visited the Island before). Anita and I have known each other since the 7th grade and I know she has fun day planned. I will give you a hint: one of the places (if she has stuck to her original plan) has something to do with the Pony Express. I am very excited about this.

Remember, being a tourist in your own city or one you're visiting is never a bad thing. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

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