Seriously?

A few weeks ago I was talking with one of my guy friends about football. He's not a football fan (more of a baseball/hockey fan) and wanted to know why I continued to support the NFL given the recent events surrounding multiple players and domestic violence. He felt that as an avowed feminist, I should boycott the sport until actual change is made within the organization. I disagree completely. I don't believe that boycotting the NFL will actually have an impact on the organization. The NFL and other organizations (not just professional sports) need to take a look inward at the structures of their organizations and their leadership to change. Fans and supporters need to participate and keep pressure on these organizations to do the right thing and to enforce rules and policies in a consistent and fair way. Forty-five percent of NFL fans are women. We do the sport, fandom, and women a service to to work from within rather than boycott.

I also believe that the issues facing professional sports (it's not just the NFL y'all) don't start the second a player joins a team. It's not just people like Goodell who say one thing but do another, it's a larger culture of complacency, hero worship, and ignorance. It starts in places like Steubenville and ends in places like the NFL or NBA. I do agree with my friend that Roger Goodell needs to go. I don't think the NFL can move forward with him at the helm.

But I don't want to talk about the NFL today. Enough has been said about it and I'd rather spend time talking about Hermione Granger, I mean, Emma Watson's UN speech for the solidarity movement HeForShe. Here's the video so you can watch her elegant and powerful speech.

 

Watson makes some excellent points about the role of men in the feminist movement. Feminism is not about man-hating. It's about equality. Men and women are not equal in this country (or most countries for that matter). This is not my opinion - it's a fact. Have we made strides towards equality? Certainly - more women are in government, leaders in the business world (including many Fortune 500 companies), academics and researchers in all fields, and creative forces in across the arts. But the reality is that we still make less money than our male counterparts in most fields. Our bodies are literal battlegrounds. And by the way, if you're raped, abused, or otherwise violated, somehow it will be your fault.

We teach young girls and women that their only value is in how they look and what boys and men think about them. As my ninth grade English teacher told me, a woman can only be funny, pretty, or smart; she can't be all three. Some of the most anti-women people I know are other women.

I'd like to be able to focus on Watson's message and the messages of other feminists out there. The problem with that is we're not allowed to just do that. Because Emma stands for something they disagree with, Internet trolls decided that it would be cool to threaten her with the release of nude photos. It was announced earlier this week that this was a hoax but the fact of the matter is that it doesn't matter if it's a hoax. The threat was and is there. Women, feminist or not, experience threats of all sorts on the Internet (as do men who support these writers or are feminists themselves). It could be a threat of the release of photos like what's happened with Emma Watson or threats of rape and physical harm. I've read dozens of accounts of authors and bloggers having to leave their homes because some fucking (sorry Mom) jerk posts their address on the Internet and another fucking jerk has threatened to come to their house and murder them. This shouldn't happen to anyone in any situation.

Only Madeline Kahn can truly express how I feel about this:

The pure hatred that is spewed by these cowards with keyboards is incomprehensible to me. I literally (and I mean literally) cannot understand it. I have the same reaction when this happens in conversations about race, sexuality, and religion too. I don't get it and I can't help but wonder what's wrong with people.

Civil discourse seems to be dead these days. Instead of being able to discuss our differences in opinion like rational beings, it seems that the trend is to debase, threaten, terrify, and demean. I can't stand for this and you shouldn't either. Regardless of how you define who you are and what you believe about equality, you should not resort to violence (verbal or physical) to get your point across. That doesn't prove that you're powerful. In fact, it proves that you're scared of losing what power you you have (or believe you have).

We all have to take action if change is going to occur. I thought of a few things we could all try to do that aren't overtly feminist so if you can't get beyond that word, maybe you can get behind being a decent person. Let's try these out for a bit and see what happens:

• Stop gossiping. I'm bad about this but a small thing like not passing on that thing you heard about that woman you don't really like at work or school or wherever stops the cycle of negativity.
• Use language that means something not demeans someone. Tina Fey said it best in Mean Girls, "Well, I don't know who wrote this book, but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores." 
• Agree to disagree. I have said this before on this blog. If we don't agree on something and our disagreement leads to a heated discussion that's going nowhere fast, I'd rather just switch topics to something less controversial like the fact that Tom Hiddleston is the absolute best.
• Be nice to people. It takes more energy to be mean and negative. And it's more stressful to you. The Dearborn police can put it on their patrol cars so you should practice it in your daily life. 
• Talk to the girls and boys (and men and women) in your life about appropriate ways to communicate. It is not okay to teach either girls or boys to react with violence (words or actions) when they don't agree or get what they want. That's the type of "education" that leads to the exact issues feminists, domestic violence advocates, and human rights advocates speak about. Domestic violence issues don't start with the NFL; they start in places like Steubenville and on playgrounds where extreme bullying are played out day after day.
• Stop putting the burden of behavior on a specific group of people. I shouldn't have to adjust my behavior or clothing because some guy on the street or at my office can't focus on his life because I wear a shirt that shows off the female body that I have in a way that is appropriate for work. We could also apply this logic to guarding my drink in a bar and walking alone at night.
• Speak up. I am also guilty of not doing this as often as I should. Be brave - say something. It might not make you popular but it means you're doing the right thing.

This isn't complicated. It's common sense and the responsibility of all of us if we really want to live in a civil society.

The flames on the side of my face have subsided for now. I feel a little better now that we've talked this out. I also found this article on my favorite fictional feminist, Leslie Knope, and it brightened my day. There's hope for us yet.

This fall on the Island: It's time to celebrate Gilmore Girls just in time for the rest of you to finally watch the show since it's being released on Netflix. We'll Rock the Suburbs and take Metro to Tyson's Corner to explore all of the things one can do without having to spend forever driving there. And of course, I'll be prepping for National Novel Writing Month so you never know what little nuggets I'll throw on here.

Clue image
Police car picture by me

Was it Ferris Bueller or John Lennon that said that thing about -isms?

"The books on this self pertain to empiricism, and on this shelf, materialism, and on this psychopiscoparalysm." 

-Funny Face

I had two ideas for a novel last year when I participated in my first National Novel Writing Month. The first idea was the one I settled on (The Metro Counselor) but I haven't forgotten about the second idea. It was tentatively called Tourist and it was going to be about a new docent/guide who was learning about the cutthroat world of museum and historical site docents. I have no idea if there is such a world but I thought it would be fun to create one. I even had the first chapter written (in my head). I think that what stopped me from pursuing this idea was creating the worlds of different museums and historical sites. I didn't want to use real places for lots of reasons and I knew that I'd have to create believable sites for the story to work. So I went with the other idea (which worked out well) and called my first NaNoWriMo a success. Tourist currently resides in my head and a little bit on paper (a sketchy outline).

Since last November, I was accepted to a museum docent training program. While not cutthroat, it is one of the most intense learning experiences I've had since graduating from college. I'm a docent in training at the National Museum of Women in the Arts. My class started in June and will finish at the end of October. I began my time at the museum as part of the VEV (Visitor Experience Volunteer) team about a year ago. As much as I love telling people that the Frida Kahlo (the only one in DC!) is on the third floor and that the bathroom is around the corner (there are no signs), it gets a little old after awhile. When the education department announced the next docent class was opening, I applied.

I have no background in art history. I love going to museums and talking about art but didn't take any art history courses in college (theatre majors didn't have to). Most of my art history experience was through research for the productions of The Heidi Chronicles that I've worked on. I knew from my experience as a visitor and in researching volunteer opportunities at museums, that docent programs are very rigorous and can last up to two years depending on the site. NMWA's program is not two years but it's every bit as intense. Assignments consist of art history lectures, readings focused on the visitor experience and the contexts of museums, learning new teaching techniques, and leading on the fly and prepared discussions.

The learning aspect of being a docent is what appeals most to me. Docent comes from the Latin docens which means to teach. Being a docent combines many things that I love all into one: teaching and learning, art, being helpful, volunteering, being in a museum. I also think it's helped renew the feelings I have towards my work life. There's a tremendous amount of overlap between my class and my work. I know a lot about story telling and framing learner needs. I like being able to bring elements of my work into my museum life and vice versa. It's a bit of a validation for me - I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing even if it doesn't always feel like that's the truth.

I was watching an art history lecture on Modernism last weekend. It's a nice blended learning experience since the art history lectures are online. The lecturer (who happens to be one of my teachers) began the lecture by listing all the -isms that make up Modernism. I had to pause the lecture because I was laughing at the list. It was lengthy and some of the words sounded made up. It made me think of the scene early on in Funny Face where poor Audrey Hepburn is rattling off all the -isms in the bookstore while Kay Thompson and Fred Astaire take over for a fashion shoot. I have always believed that Audrey Hepburn just made up some words during this scene as many of the -isms sounded completely nonsensical. An -ism is generally applied to an ideology of some form so I guess it really is made up and could be completely nonsensical if we wanted to get all scholarly here. But I don't so let's move on.

Which brings me back to my idea for Tourist. I could create a fantastical world of museums and historic sites and make up any old -isms I want to (seriously synthetic, analytic, and orphic cubism are real things). While I haven't experienced anything that could be considered cutthroat, there are different camps in the larger museum world when it comes to museum education techniques and visitor experience. This helps to reinforce the image I have in my head of this new docent on her first day. Drama and tension over whether to use VTS (Visual Thinking Strategies) or lecture based learning could be a hoot. I'm still not ready to write this story but I know that one day I will. Until then remember, the Frida Kahlo is on the third floor and the restrooms are around the corner.

One of my favorite paintings - Lady in an Evening Dress by Lilla Cabot Perry

The first discussion I had to lead was on this sculpture, Apres la tempete (After the Storm) by Sarah Bernhardt (the actress - yes, she was also a sculptor)

Après la tempête (After the Storm

All photos by me

On My Way

There were boxes everywhere. That’s what happens when you move; boxes and suitcases and covered furniture. I was ready for the movers to get here so I could get on the road. The drive was going to be a long one and I wanted to get at least to Atlanta tonight. Nine hours was totally doable in one day. I didn’t have to be in California for two weeks and had stops to make along the way. I was taking the long route across Louisiana and Texas and eventually up the California coast to my new home in the East Bay. I knew no one there but didn’t care.

I had never intended to stay in Virginia as long as I had. I could lie and pretend that my job was what kept me here but as lame as it sounds, it was actually a guy. We met not too long after I moved here for my job and had been together for four years. He was exactly the kind of guy I imagined I spend the rest of my life with; funny, smart, and kind. We had a ton in common and everyone thought we were perfect for one another and would have perfect, cool babies who liked David Bowie, Star Wars, and Michael Penn straight out of the womb.

That did not happen. My “perfect match” was a perfect jackass. After we moved in together, we got engaged and had started planning a low-key, very us wedding. We were at a cake tasting and he turned to me and said, “I don’t think I can do this.” Being me, I thought he meant the cake tasting. He had meant the wedding. He didn’t want to get married. He didn’t want to live together. He didn’t want to be with me. He had only done those things because he thought that’s what I wanted. He never thought to ask me.

I decided that the only sensible thing to do was to leave town. I didn’t want to be reminded of the places we went together or had found together. I didn’t want to run into him at the farmer’s market in our neighborhood (when he moved out, he stayed in the neighborhood). I didn’t want to run into him with someone new. I wanted to start over again. That was the only way that I could move on with my life.

My small circle of friends thought I was crazy. They didn’t understand why I had to leave town to get over a guy. I tried to explain that it wasn’t just the guy (although four years of my life had been spent with someone I thought was the one); it was me. I needed to do this for me. I needed to try somewhere new and start again. I had lived on the East Coast for a long time and decided it was time to see if I was a California girl. I wanted my life to be more colorful and exciting than it was. I needed a change.

The movers finally arrived. It took them exactly two hours to load all of of my worldly possessions into the moving truck. I tipped the guys and gave them waters for the road. My stuff would get there right after I did so. This was all going to work out.

A few of my friends had come to see me off. I was going to miss them a lot but the beauty of life in the modern age is that we’re connected to one another no matter where we are. I promised to check in with them along the way. They planned to visit me in the fall once I got settled.

I got into my trusty Ford Escape and started my way south. I love road trips. Just me, my car, my music, and the open road. I had spent a few days before leaving preparing an epic mix of songs to get from Virginia to California and all the places in between. Some were sad, some were funny and fun, some matched the location I planned to be in while listening. I had been looking forward to my road trip music as much as I had been looking forward to the trip itself. I had even created a mix including songs that I had listened to with my ex. I felt that by listening to them without him and in a completely new context I would be able to listen to them without being sad. Every song took on new meaning for me; it was like I was hearing them for the first time.

The songs kept me going through the mountains and the vast expanses of nothing that I hit as I drove through parts of Texas and the deserts of New Mexico and Arizona and then up the beautiful California coast. I was seeing parts of the country that I had never seen before. It was overwhelming but exactly what I needed to get myself in the right place for my new life. There’s always a moment when you just feel like what you’re doing is exactly the right thing to do. I felt that so many times on this trip. And I knew that I was on my way. 

(Based on the prompt "(Play a piece of music without revealing the artist or title.) Write something that goes along with this soundtrack.") The song is "On Your Way" by Michael Penn. Also, this is not autobiographical.

House of Peeps

Margaret was finally going to enter a diorama in the Washington Post’s annual Peeps Diorama contest. She thought about entering every year but for some reason she could never come up with an idea that she felt committed to. She felt that she really needed to feel good about the idea or it would never work. This year, she had come up with a concept that she loved but she wasn’t sure that the voting committee would love it. She decided that she didn’t care if she won; she just wanted to create.

She starting collecting Peeps right after the last contest ended. She picked up seasonal Peeps at Halloween and Christmas and bought out the Easter stock at Target. She worked evenings sketching out her idea and figuring out what other materials she would need to make it work. She did her research online, finding images to help with the designs. She watched countless hours of movies to make she was getting it right. She was finally ready to start assembling her entry. She wondered if the Washington Post was ready for it.

The idea had come to Margaret as she was cooking dinner one night. She didn’t realize there was a hole in one of her potholders and she ended up with a nasty burn on her hand. As she was taking care of her wound, it hit her. Her Peeps diorama would feature iconic horror movie villains but in Peep form. Maybe not the most family friendly concept but it appealed to Margaret’s love of horror movies and the macabre. And of course, her love of Peeps. She loved Peeps and she loved the diorama contest.

Her design was pretty complex. She wanted the diorama to read like a wax museum exhibit or something out of Ripley’s Believe It or Not; each villain would be in his own section and the “exhibits” would rotate. If she could figure out how to wire it, she was also planning on having each section play music from the films. One of her friends, Sam, had promised to help her with that part. He loved the idea and was working on the motor and sound effects.

Margaret had settled on four villains: Freddy Krueger, Leatherface, Jason Voorhees, and Michael Myers. She decided to depict each one in a scene that encapsulated the film and the villain. For Freddy, she would depict him the boiler room; Leatherface would be shown as he was at the end of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Jason would be silhouetted in the moonlight on Crystal Lake; and Michael Myers would be shown looking at his reflection in his knife while Laurie Strode hid from him. It was epic and gross and hilarious all at the same time.

She had been working on the diorama for weeks. Each of the villain figures was complete. Masks for Michael, Jason, and Leatherface had been made out of various fabrics and posterboard. She had “burned” the Freddy Peep with a match and used paint to make the “wounds” look more like he looked in the pictures. She was working on on the backgrounds and scenes for each of the exhibit spaces. Sam was on his way over to help with the rotating part and to help with some of the painting.

The news was on in the background and she caught the end of a story that made her stop her work entirely. The reporter was at the scene of a murder not too far from where Margaret lived. What had caught her attention was the fact that mangled marshmallow Peeps had been found at the scene, smashed around the victim and around the house. The reporter also mentioned that a note had been found at the scene referencing the two of the four horror movie villains in her diorama. Margaret thought that it was strange.

Just as she was considering the oddness of the report, the doorbell rang. Margaret jumped a bit and then realized it was just Sam. Sam came in with all sorts of equipment; Margaret had no idea what any of it was but she knew Sam was going to make her diorama really work.

“You don’t look so good. Is everything okay?” Sam put down his bag and started pulling out tools and a small motor for the diorama.

“Did you hear about the murder involving Peeps? I just caught the end of a story about it on the news.” Margaret went into the kitchen and grabbed two beers for them. She handed one to Sam and started back to work on the Crystal Lake scene she had been working on before the news interrupted her.

“No clue. What’s going on?” Sam started painting the background for the boiler room scene.

“Apparently someone is killing people and then smashing Peeps around the body and leaving cryptic notes about horror movie villains. In fact, two of the villains are two of the ones I’m including in my diorama. Don’t you think that’s strange?”

Sam paused and considered his friend. “I guess it’s a little strange. Why would a killer smash marshmallow Peeps everywhere?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t enter my diorama in the contest. People might think I’m the killer or that I’m making fun of the murder.” Margaret had stopped painting and was shredding a piece of paper

“You should finish it. It’s a cool idea and you’ve been working on it for over a month. They like topical stuff.” Sam tried to be sympathetic.

Margaret didn’t say anything and switched topics. They continued working on the diorama for a few hours and neither mentioned the murder again. Sam rigged the motor and her diorama was spinning. He would tackle the music next. Margaret had trouble sleeping that night; her dreams involved the characters in her diorama coming to life and going on a murderous rampage. It was a long night.

The next day, Margaret awoke to sirens outside of her building. She lived near a fire station so she was used to it but this seemed more intense than normal. She threw on her workout clothes and left her building to see what was going on. She followed the sirens down the street a few blocks. Police tape was already up and onlookers gathered on the sidewalk.

“What happened?” Margaret asked a man standing next to her.

“Someone was murdered. They’re not saying much but it’s definitely related to that other murder. I saw marshmallow Peeps on the EMT’s boot when he brought the body out.”

Margaret didn’t know what to say. She hoped that the man was joking There’s no way he could have seen marshmallow Peeps on someone’s shoe. He’s speculating. It’s all just too coincidental. Margaret thanked the man and walked back home. She didn’t feel up to her normal walk around the park today. When she got back home, she turned on the news and caught it just in time for the report on the most recent murder.

The reporter didn’t have too much to report yet as the police had not made a statement but she did confirm that marshmallow Peeps had been found at the scene. An anonymous source close to the investigation had also revealed that a phrase from Nightmare on Elm Street had been found on the wall. This was too much for Margaret. It was too odd of a coincidence that Peeps were being found at the scene of murders in her neighborhood and that the same exact movies she was depicting were being referenced at the scenes.

Her diorama was set up on the kitchen table. It was the only place in her apartment that was big enough for it. She knew every inch of the diorama and noticed that something was not right with it. The characters seemed sort of off; something was definitely askew. She looked closely at the panel depicting Leatherface. He was not as she had left him the night before. Nor was Jason. And the paint on Freddy looked fresh and sticky as if it had just been painted. She reached out her hand and touched the red paint. It was not red paint.

Margaret screamed, a true horror movie queen scream. Her Peep horror villains were alive and were killing people. Those sweet Peep faces that she had mangled into horror movie villains were responsible for the murders. Margaret was certain. She had to destroy the diorama. She grabbed a shopping bag and began stuffing as much of the diorama into as would fit. She filled two more bags and then took it all down to the shared patio. She put it all in the grill and set it on fire.

Margaret watched the Peep villains burn. She thought she heard someone singing, “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you.” She ignored it and added more lighter fluid. She watched her creations burn into a sticky, charred mess. She put the lid back on the grill and went back to her apartment.

There were no more killings after Margaret burned her diorama. She vowed never to purchase a bunny Peep ever again. 

(Based on the prompt "Make me afraid of the Easter bunny.")

Check out parts two and three! 

It's National Writing Date Day!

Today is National Writing Date Day. Never heard of National Writing Date Day? Join the club. I was not aware that it existed until my friend Jessica shared a blog post about it with me. Jessica curates a monthly random holiday calendar for a group of our friends and she discovered this holiday in her research for September. We have decided to give it a try.

Both Jessica and I participated in National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo) last year and plan to participate again this year. We've been discussing our writing and writing aspirations via email over the last few weeks and decided that we need to be more proactive in our writing and try new things. This is what prompted us to set a #writingdate for today. Of course Jessica and I don't live in the same state but that's what technology is for.

Our writing date will serve two purposes: us trying some new ideas out through some writing prompts Jessica found on Buzzfeed and some time devoted to plotting and planning for NaNoWriMo. Both of us have two ideas for novels and are having a hard time choosing so we thought it might help to try to talk them out a bit and try some character sketches. No actual writing of the novel can take place (as it all must be written in November) but prepping and outlining is acceptable.

Our schedule:

• Hour 1: Writing Date Day commences with prompt #12 (one hour)
• Hour 2: Start second prompt (we're each doing a different one)
• Whatever time left that we feel we want to spend: NaNoWriMo discussions, prep, etc.
• After that: enjoy a beer #hemingwaywasadrunk

Later today I'll be sharing whatever I come up with during the first two hours. I can't guarantee that they'll be particularly good but that's not really the point. The point is to set time aside to write and create and see what happens. I like to think of today as part of my NaNoWriMo training regiment. November isn't that far off and as any NaNoWriMo participant can tell you, it is both a sprint and a marathon. I see lots of Writing Date Days in my future.