You're Doing Everything Wrong: Glitter Edition

Glitter is one of the most reviled items in a craft store. I've seen parents direct children away from the glitter section of a Michaels with the kind of hatred in their eyes I reserve for spiders and people who don't turn their lights on when it's raining and dark out. I've heard glitter referred to as "the Herpes of the craft world" but also "the most magical thing ever." Apparently, you either like glitter or you don't. There can be no middle ground when it comes to glitter.

I don't really know that I spend a lot of time thinking about glitter. I don't have kids, so craft and school projects aren't things I think much about. My own creative projects are primarily embroidery focused or the occasional painting project. DMC, the embroidery thread I prefer, has a metallic thread that is a pain in the ass to use, but is the closest to glitter thread you can get. I've used it twice and hated my life the entire time I worked on those pieces. Sometimes, embroidery is a form of torture. (Side note: DMC released a new line called Etoile this year and it's actual glitter thread. I haven't tried it yet because it's expensive and you can only buy it online. This annoys me.) My makeup regiment doesn't include any glitter makeup, although I do occasionally opt for glitter nail polish on the rare occasions I get a manicure. I have no glitter purses or accessories. I live a fairly glitter free life.

Until September.

I was at a winery with my family and got a text from one of my very dear friends, Heather, that would change the course of glitter in my life. Heather and I met in college and were roommates, along with another wonderful human, Kelly. Like the true adults we are, we all live in different states and don't get to see each other very often. This is one of the things that sucks most about adulthood. Anyway, Heather was texting to see if I'd like to join the Mystic Krewe of Nyx, one of the all-female Mardi Gras krewes. She and Kelly joined this year. I didn't realize I could join, so I was planning to go to the parade to see them. When Heather texted me about joining the krewe, I immediately said yes, waited for the online application link, paid my dues, and officially became a member of the sisterhood.

And became very concerned with glitter.

Mardi Gras is one of those things that people know a little bit about (they throw beads and people flash or something), a lot about (New Orleanians/Louisianians know Mardi Gras is way more than beads, boobs, and Bourbon Street), or know absolutely nothing about. I've spent a lot of my adult life trying to explain New Orleans to people who have never experienced it, and I can honestly say, it's not worth explaining because you can't explain New Orleans. New Orleans is a place that has to be experienced, and Mardi Gras is one of the experiences a person should have while there. I remember my first Mardi Gras as a child; it was magical. The floats were beautiful and it the atmosphere of a parade is glorious. It's like the best parts of a block party and parade all mashed together. I think when you experience Mardi Gras as a child, it shapes the way you view it for the rest of your life. While I did my fair share of partying at Mardi Gras in college and after, my preferred Mardi Gras is one that involves hanging out with friends and enjoying the parades Uptown.

Mardi Gras krewes are the groups that put together each parade. Rex, Zulu, Endymion, and Bacchus are some of the more recognizable krewes, with long histories of parading. In the last few decades, krewes like Muses and Nyx have made their mark on Mardi Gras, being two of the largest krewes and being all-female. During a parade, krewe members toss throws from floats. Each krewe has a mix of traditional throws (beads, cups, doubloons) and signature items, unique to that group. These signature items are coveted by parade-goers and can lead to some pretty competitive parade watching. My mom caught (or was handed) a Zulu coconut during our last Mardi Gras before we moved to Virginia. We still have it.

Nyx is known for its glitter purses. Krewe members spend the lead up to the parade hand crafting these purses to throw to very lucky fans along the route. There's even a Nyx purse tracker on Facebook. If you're a Pinterest fan, search for Nyx purses and enjoy wasting away your day looking at the beautiful creations of years past. As a member, I'm now responsible for creating glitter purses to throw in my first Mardi Gras parade. I've become a glitter hoarder.

After joining the krewe and purchasing my standard throws, I began searching online for video tutorials on making glitter purses. There are several different techniques, ranging from glue and pour to painting glitter on the purse (mixture of glue and glitter) to using glitter paper and glitter spray paint. You can buy pre-glittered purses, but I feel like for my first time, I need to fully embrace the glitter purse experience and do as much of it myself as I can. Kelly and I did a virtual purse party back in October (since we're not in New Orleans, we aren't able to join our float group for actual purse parties) and discussed techniques and tried things out while on Skype together. It was a lot of fun.

I currently have 6 different forms of glitter in my house at this exact moment. This includes:

• 17 individual loose glitters in various colors
• 3 glitter glues
• 5 glitter paints
• glitter foam
• glitter letters and shapes
• glitter embroidery thread

Since a few of my purses have a waxy coating that doesn't come off, I'll also be investing in glitter spray paint, because why not? Additionally, I have jars of sequins, multiple types of trim, feathers, three types of glue, and paint. I've been working on my purses since October and have finally finished one completely. The others are in various states of started: some have been glittered, trim elements have been made, and some have been designed but not actually started. I'm still in the gathering phase for at least one of the purses (I'm looking for a very specific item for it). I decided to name my purses to better keep track of each one. I'm toying with the idea of including a little card in each that tells the recipient the name. I don't know if that's allowed, but I really want to do it.

In spending time on these purses, I've discovered a few things. I miss New Orleans something awful, and being part of this krewe brings me back to a place that I love. I wasn't born in Louisiana, but I grew up there and I went to college there. It's the place I feel most connected to in my life and being part of something so quintessentially New Orleans is exactly what I need right now. Kelly and Heather are like sisters to me, and sharing this experience with them is going to be amazing and a wonderful start to a new decade of my life. I'm looking forward to meeting more of our Nyx sisters and experiencing this with them. I wish I lived closer so I could take part in other krewe events, like supporting our charities and coronation. Maybe next year I'll make the trip for coronation. 

I also really like glitter. I was skeptical about this part of the purses, but it's so much fun. Designing and figuring our how to bring each one to life is a big part of my new found love of glitter. Taking a plain purse and making it sparkle is wonderfully satisfying. I liken it to the magic of making marshmallows; it's something I didn't know I needed, but it's exactly what I need. It's impossible to be in a bad mood when making a glitter purse or creating some sort of sequin-based element to add to a glitter purse. It's not nearly as messy as I thought it would be (or I'm super neat and careful). Keely hasn't gotten into any of the glitter I have spilled, but he did inspect the purses before I got started. Nyx fans, these purses are Keely approved. 

I'm looking forward to riding in my first parade. If you're in New Orleans or its vicinity, come see me and 3000+ other ladies as Nyx rolls on February 27. We follow the traditional Uptown route. I'll share more from my Mardi Gras adventures as we get closer to the date. 

For now, I fully intend to embrace the fact that I was doing everything wrong when it came to glitter. Glitter is not a craft item to be feared. It should be embraced, although carefully, with craft or wax paper protecting the table and a vacuum at the ready. To paraphrase the Blue Oyster Cult, don't fear the glitter.

Your Resident Single Friend: Bow Ties for Cats

There's a scene in the sort of biopic Bohemian Rhapsody that I love as much as I love the concert scenes and any scene involving the band being musical geniuses (which is basically why you should go see the movie - it's not the best biography of Mercury if that's what you're looking for). Freddie (Rami Malek) is showing Queen's drummer, Roger Taylor (Ben Hardy) around his new home. You can feel the pride and excitement coming from Freddie about every little thing he loves about his new home. However, it's clear that the best part of the house, the thing he is most excited about is the fact that his 10 cats each have their own room. This scene made my cat mom heart so very happy.

Mercury loved cats. Mary Austin, his girlfriend and long-time love, is the one who introduced Freddie to cats when they moved in with one another. Later on, he would add eight more cats to the mix and doted on them like children. He called them while away on tour, made sure they had stockings on Christmas, and lavished them all with attention. I've always loved Freddie Mercury, but knowing his affection for cats made me adore him. Cats make sense for a creative soul like Freddie Mercury. There's something about cats, their mystery, aloofness, and weird behavior, that makes them the perfect companion for artists.

If you'd like to buy me a present, I'd take this shirt or the mug version because I love cats, Freddie Mercury, and puns. 

Obviously, I don't have "Freddie Mercury in the heyday of Queen" kind of money, so buying a house that would allow for Keely to have his own room is not really an option. Money aside, what's charmingly eccentric on a male rock star, is seen as sadly depressing on a single woman approaching 40. People suck.

So while I'm not investing in real estate for Keely, beyond the pillow I bought him that he loves, I have done something that I think will drive home just how special he is. Let's pause for a moment to bask in Keely's handsomeness...

What a dapper gentleman! Everyone comments on how handsome he is and I think he knows it. Look at that face! That is the face of a cat who jumps on the counter even though he's not supposed to and gets away with it (because I lack a certain discipline gene). You know what would make this dapper cat even more dapper?

Bow ties.

I bought my cat holiday themed bow ties. Yes, I am that cat mom. As of today, we have a Thanksgiving bow tie, since Thanksgiving is our most elegant holiday, and a Christmas bow tie because it's our most festive holiday. Remember kids, you can find just about anything on Etsy if you look.

Now you're probably asking yourself, "Erin, is Keely really going to wear a bow tie on his collar? He barely lets you pet without careful consideration on the amount of time you've pet him and the location of said pets (ears, under the chin, occasionally on his belly)? Why would he wear a bow tie?"

I hear you. Keely is a special little dude. In our five months together, he has caused enough damage to my left leg that a person viewing my injuries might assume I'm committing some sort of self-harm. Conversely, he's also cuddled with me, provided countless hours of wondering whether I have a ghost in my apartment (he stares at certain spots in the apartment in a way that makes me believe something is there), and has put up with my incessant need to document every cute moment and his handsomeness. I remember the joy I felt the first time he jumped on my lap, unprompted, and napped for an hour. When he did the next day for two hours, it was the best. He picked me! I might not be his real mom, but I'm his human!

Do I think he will wear the bow tie on his collar? Yes, I know he will because I'm the one who will be putting it on him and he will wear it. Do I think he will like it? Absolutely not. He's a cat. Cats hate everything. But he will wear each bow tie for at least a few photos to appease me. I have earned bow tie photos.

The past five months have been an interesting experience in learning how to be cat mom again. I'm guessing I'm still on some sliding scale when it comes to trust with Keely. I don't know what his life was like before I adopted him. His first family definitely overfed him, and from the limited information the shelter had, it sounds like they wanted a lap cat and got Keely instead. He was in the shelter for a little over a month, not a long time for a shelter animal but enough time to be overlooked by many because he was an overweight, older (1.5 years) cat among a sea of kittens. Five months isn't a long time, not really. I have to patient with him and he needs to realize that mommy isn't for biting. I get to be his adoring human and he gets to be a cat.

A cat who wears bow ties.

This is what happened when I showed him the Thanksgiving bow tie. That face!

Voting is my superpower

I've been struggling with how to approach my annual "go vote" post. Normally, I try to make voting fun and talk about all the good things you experience when you practice being a good citizen. Take a friend to the polls! You get a sticker for adulting! Support your local PTA and buy a donut (my polling place is in an elementary school, so there's always a bake sale). I've shared my own personal account of voting for Hillary Clinton in 2016; it was such a great feeling until I woke up the next day and realized everyone is the worst.

Neither of these approaches feel appropriate right now. In the last two weeks, fifteen people have been murdered because of hate, hate which our "president" stokes every time he opens his mouth. Bombs were sent to public officials and private citizens who disagree with the 45 or who have spoken out against his administration. Multiple activists in Ferguson, MO have died in the last several months under suspicious circumstances, including a possible lynching. People are more concerned that young men (young, white men, let's be specific) are at risk of being accused of sexual assault or rape than the fact that 1 in 3 women will be assaulted in her lifetime. Who have we become that these are the realities of 2018?

I'm not naive. I, like so many other people, know none of this just happened because Trump got elected. Racism, misogyny, homophobia, tranphobia, religious hatred aren't new, but they seem to be more pervasive today than they have been in the last several decades. We're supposed to be a country where differences, politically, socially, religiously, etc., etc., make us stronger, more interesting, more accepting, more revolutionary. The problem is that we've let the small-minded opinions and beliefs of a faction within this country take over. We've let the hatred of a very small man, who will say anything to remain in power, cloud who we are as a nation.

So, I'm torn on what to say this week as we near a very important midterm election. I know I'm not going to change anyone's mind if they are set to vote for a candidate who has been endorsed by the 45 or his party. Chances are you're voting for that person because he or she believes in an issue in the same way you do. They're "pro-life," until the baby is born and then they cut funding for vital services that might help that child like public schools, healthcare services, and free school lunches. Or maybe they believe in gun rights even when those rights put guns right into the hands of domestic abusers and domestic terrorists, who use those guns to kill people who they hate. You vote for them even when they use the language of Nazis and hatemongers. You don't use that language, but you support someone who does. You say you're not racist or sexist or Islamaphoic or homophobic. I hate to be the one to tell you, but when you vote for candidates who are, even if you say you aren't those things, you are. When you support a racist candidate, you're supporting racism. When you support a homophobic or transphobic candidate, even if you support LGBTQ rights, you are supporting hate. When you support a pro-life candidate, you are saying that women don't deserve agency over their own bodies. When you support the confirmation of a man who has been accused of sexual assault, you are saying his life is more important that the accuser's. You are supporting the very things that are causing division and what is fundamentally wrong with this country.

But I'm not going to change your mind. A few weeks ago, I went to see playwright Eve Ensler and author Anne Lamott discuss their new books and the state of things in this world. Ensler is one of my favorite playwrights and has been a tireless activist in the campaign to end violence against women and girls. During the talk, moderator Jacki Lyden, asked Ensler a question about the open letter she wrote to white women supporting the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh. If you haven't read it, take a few minutes to check it out on the Time website. In the letter, Ensler doesn't spend time discussing all the reasons women shouldn't support Kavanaugh. She knows, like me, that it's hard to change someone's opinion when they're set on a belief. Instead, she spends the time sharing her own feelings and experiences with abuse. She was abused by her father, and her mother never helped her. Her mother "sacrificed" her own daughter so that she could be safe within her marriage. This is what so many of you, particularly white conservative voters, are willing to do to continue supporting the Republican party. You're sacrificing your children, your grandchildren, the Earth, and democracy as it is in this country for your version of safety.

I'm not going to tell you not to vote - you should vote. It's your right and responsibility as a participant in this crazy thing we call American democracy. But what I will tell you to do is to take some time to think long and hard before you cast that ballot. Ask yourself if you can live out the rest of your life knowing you voted to send our country 50+ years back. Ask yourself if you can live with yourself when your children and grandchildren are left to clean up the dumpster fire you helped to create. Ask yourself what democracy actually looks like, because I can tell you, it's not the world the 45 and his cronies are interested in creating.

When I vote on Tuesday, I'll be thinking about all of these things. I'll also be thinking about:

• Maurice Stallard
• Vickie Lee Jones
• Daniel Stein
• Joyce Feinberg
• Richard Gottfried
• Rose Mallinger
• Jerry Rabinowitz
• Cecil Rosenthal
• David Rosenthal
• Bernice Simon
• Sylvan Simon
• Melvin Wax
• Irving Younger
• Nancy Van Vessem
• Maura Binkley
• Danye Jones

They, like too many before them, didn't have to die. They were what democracy looks like - people living their lives, practicing their faith, and fighting on behalf of others. I want to live in a world where we can truly do these things, and not in one where we live in fear no matter where we go. I vote because they can't. I vote for candidates who don't support the rhetoric of hate.