Driving backward down Julia Street

Before I rode in Nyx last year, the last time I was in town specifically for Mardi Gras was the last year I lived in New Orleans. It was 2006, the Katrina Mardi Gras. We were a city in need of a lot of things, joy and levity being low on the list, but very important. We needed to gather with family and friends, watch marching bands (the ones that could make it) do their thing, catch beads, and marvel at the beautiful floats. We needed the biting satire of krewes, most notably Krewe D'Etat, who skewered everyone and everything about the storm. I still have a cup from their ride that year; the "Katrina Olympics" was the theme. Being able to do "normal" things is an important part of healing. Of course, we were criticized for celebrating that year, mostly by people who weren't there and had no business being involved in the conversation. It wasn't about putting a band-aid on an immense tragedy; it was a step in the process of healing and coming home for many people. I don't understand why people don't get that.

Anyway, last year was my first year riding in Nyx, and it was my first real Mardi Gras experience since I moved away in July 2006. I had been back a few times where I caught part of a parade or something, but I was never there for vacation and for Mardi Gras specifically. I wasn't prepared for the emotions I felt participating in the krewe and parade. Making my purses, riding with two of my dearest friends, entertaining thousands of people, it was perfect. Being back in our city was magical and beautiful and cathartic.

Being part of a krewe is being part of New Orleans history. These groups keep traditions going, create new ways of parading, and move the carnival tradition forward. My krewe is younger in the grand scheme of Mardi Gras, and we stand on the shoulders of the all female krewes that came before us. They helped pave the way for our group and many others, and have helped modernize carnival in many ways. For me, it's about belonging to something bigger than me. I was searching for that when I was invited to join last year. I didn't know it at the time, but that's what I was doing. And I found it a glitter infused parade. Who knew?

So I think it goes without saying that I was excited for my second ride. I challenged myself on my purses, using Louisiana music as my inspiration. I loved making every single one. The process of making purses is involved; each one takes days to complete. Sometimes I have to remake parts of the purse to get it right. I hope the people who got mine this year love them. But I'm getting ahead of myself. One of the things we agreed to this year was spending more time enjoying the city. We spent so much time running around last year that we didn't really take joy in being home. This year, we played tourist and did as many things as possible. We visited Loyola, shopped a lot, and ate all the food. It was perfect.

Wednesday was a gorgeous day. By the time we were loaded on our floats, it was clear and cool after so many days of gloomy, rainy weather. After spending the day enjoying the pre-parade party and catching up with our float sisters, it was nice to get on the float and get ready to ride. Our float, Float 40 - Moon River, was one of the last six floats in the parade. Our group, me, Kelly, Karen (new this year), Heather, and Mary Irene, rode up top again. It was different this year, not being in our little tandem, but wonderful to be with so many of the rest of the group. I was next to two new riders, and enjoyed talking with them as we waited to start our ride. We organized throws, took pictures, and enjoyed the calm before the parade.

What's fun about waiting to ride is that people come out to watch us get into parade formation. We leave the Convention Center lot, and move to Tchoupitoulas. It's here that we get in line and marching/dancing groups join in as well. People along the street come out to watch and wave even though we can't throw anything. It's part of the spectacle that is Mardi Gras. Some people never go to the route, but they watch this part and it's enough. 

Of course, we never really it made it to the route this year. Just before we made the turn onto Jefferson, word came down the route that a woman had been struck by a float. At first, we heard that she was injured, but then we learned she died at the scene of the accident. Then we heard we were being rerouted to meet the front of the parade and finish the ride. We threw some things to people still on the route. Then we stopped. And waited some more. Then we were rerouted off the route and back to Tchoupitoulas to return to the staging lot. It was a somber ride back, and would have been silent had people not come out of their homes to watch us head back. They smiled and waved and shouted words of encouragement. People around Float 21, where the everything happened, took care of our Nyx sisters there too, offering food and water and hugs. It's what a community does. 

There's no right way to feel about this year. I'm devastated for the family of Geraldine Carmouche, the woman who died. I can't imagine what they're going through and only hope that people will continue to support them during this time. I can't stop thinking of Mrs. Carmouche and her family. She is in my thoughts and prayers always. 

This is where it gets tricky. It's also so disappointing and frustrating. I'm angry and sad that I didn't get to do something I've been planning and working on for an entire year. Over 2000 Nyx sisters didn't get to ride and were basically dumped back in the staging lot to fend for ourselves. We feel abandoned and defeated. It's awful to see such a beautiful event become a nightmare on so many levels. We're allowed to feel angry and frustrated and disappointed, and also mourn the loss of a life. For those lecturing us and calling us terrible because "you only wanted a party" - shut your mouth and mind your business. You don't get to determine how any of us feel or grieve. No one in our krewe is victim blaming (as some have said) and no one feels anything but shattered for Mrs. Carmouche and her family. I can grieve for her and still be disappointed in the situation. Human emotions are complex that way.

So while I wanted to tell you a fun story about my week, starting with my taxi driver driving backward down Julia Street to get me to my hotel, only stopping to avoid a cop and a marching group, and end with a triumphant Nyx ride, I can't.

Instead, I'll say these things:

• To Mrs. Carmouche's family and friends - my deepest sympathies to you. You're in my thoughts and prayers. 
• To the parade-goers who took care of our sisters on Float 21 and all of you who waited for us - thank you. You are what make New Orleans a great place. Seeing your pictures and posts from the beginning of the parade helps so much. I hope the four people who got my purses (I did throw them on the weird route) enjoy them.
• To my Nyx Sisters on Float 21 - you are loved and supported. We're all here for you.
• To the Float 21 driver - I have no idea what you're going through, but know that so many people are here for you if you need anything.
• Thank you to NOPD and other first responders for doing your best to keep everyone safe. 
• I appreciate all of my friends and family who checked in. Your texts and posts have really helped.
• To all the Nyx Sisters I talked to and hugged since Wednesday - I'll see you next year! I know our Captain and Board are trying their best right now. Let's be patient and see what happens after this weekend. If you're riding with our sister parade, Pandora, have a great ride! 
• Float 40 and our lieutenant Caitlin - y'all are the best group of women I know. Thank you for being amazing and wonderful. As an out of towner, I appreciate the extra help so many of you offer and give during the season, especially Caitlin. I'll see everyone next year!
• Last but not least, to Kelly, Heather, Mary Irene, and Karen - I can't ask for a better group of parade buddies. I loved every minute of the time we got to spend together and having this time together. I love you all to pieces. Kelly and Heather - y'all are my sisters. 

Photos by me, Mary Irene, Heather, Kelly, Karen, and a random Nyx Sister who took our group photo at the pre-parade party.

Lazy Movie Weekend: There's Something About Jessica

In the last year or so, I've witnessed two different people stop along the side of a busy county parkway to pick up a bag of garbage someone else left on the side of the road (or maybe it fell out of the bed of a truck). Both people put the bag of garbage in the truck of their car, and drove off to dispose of the garbage and feel good about doing their part to help keep our lovely county nice and clean. Being a good citizen is a beautiful thing.

Both times, my brain went in the exact opposite direction when I witnessed both of these good citizens being good citizens. Because I have consumed a steady television diet of procedural dramas and true crime documentaries, I immediately thought to myself, "What if there's a body or body parts in those bags? They just put body part garbage bags in their trunks AND their fingerprints are all over the bags, so if the bag is found in the dump and the police analyze it, they're going to be a suspect in a murder all because they were being good citizens." This is legitimately how my brain works. I would never, ever pick up a bag of trash on the side of the road because I've seen every episode of CSI at least three times and I know better. Marg Helgenberger has taught me well.

I know, I know. My brain is a weird place to exist. Just last week, one of my co-workers asked me something and when I answered in an oddly specific way, he looked at me like I was an alien. Everyone has their own way of thinking, and apparently, my brain likes to go the true crime route in most situations. I don't know why, but that's how it works. The most recent incident happened not too long after I started watching season one of Murder, She Wrote on Amazon Prime. My inner Jessica Fletcher, because we all have one, is on overdrive.

Murder, She Wrote was a drama series that ran on CBS from 1984-1996, back when tv shows had over twenty episodes each season and you had to be home in time to watch or tape a show so you wouldn't miss out. It starred international treasure Angela Lansbury as a retired English teacher from a small Maine town who becomes a famous mystery writer and helps whatever local police force solve murders whenever she happens to stumble into a situation where a murder occurs. And one occurs all the time. It doesn't matter if she's in her little hometown of Cabot Cove or jet-setting around the world, murder seems to follow Jessica everywhere. And she's always a step ahead of the police and always unmasks the killer.

I haven't watched an episode of Murder, She Wrote since the early 1990s. I used to watch it with my grandma when we'd visit Detroit. She liked mysteries and horror fiction (me and my brother got into horror fiction because of her). I decided not to get cable when I moved, so I've been relying on Netflix and Amazon Prime for my entertainment. I've binged Schitt's Creek, AJ & the Queen, the Aaron Hernandez docuseries, and the Netflix docuseries about the cat killer who internet sleuths tracked online after he killed an actual person. I stumbled upon Murder, She Wrote as I was building my watchlist on Prime, and decided to dive in last week. I know how to rock a Friday night - Murder, She Wrote, wine, and a cat snoring. Perfection.

Anyway, I'm not even done with season one and I'm completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of famous people who were on this show. There's an entire Wikipedia page devoted to guest stars of the show. Here's a quick sample of the guest stars so far (I'm on episode 14):

• Jose Ferrer
• Martin Landau
• Lynn Redgrave
• Lorna Luft 
• Genie Francis
• Jerry Orbach
• Leslie Nielson
• Gabe Kaplan (there was another guy from Welcome Back, Kotter on a separate episode)
• Milton Berle
• Jeff Conway
• Vickie Lawrence 
• Andy Garcia
• Robert Goulet
• Jo Anne Worley

Depending on how many seasons I decide to watch, I'll be treated to guest appearances by Armand Assante, Michael Beck, George Clooney, Maxwell Caufield (freaking Rex Manning), Piper Laurie, and Janet Leigh. Was appearing on Murder, She Wrote the hot, hip thing to do in the 1980s? I don't know, but I'm 100% behind this.

Guest star awesomeness aside, I'm intrigued by the overall concept of Jessica Fletcher. One fan theory posits that Jessica is, in fact, a serial killer. If you only look at the Cabot Cove episodes, over 200 murders occur over the course of the series in town with a population under 4000 people. Does death just follow this woman or is she really a devious serial killer, leaving death and destruction in her wake? If she's not the killer, it's very possible her nieces and nephews are. Her nephew, Grady, is involved in two cases in season one and would go on to be a recurring character throughout the rest of the series. Two of her nieces and a cousin are also involved in cases. How does so much murder find one family?

Jessica is a lady about the world. She's a widow and doesn't have any children of her own, so she travels all over the place. After her writing career takes off, she goes to New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston, New Orleans, and some random island in the Mediterranean. She has friends and family everywhere and is such a jet-setter. She helps two Russian ballerinas defect to the US, and ends up in Congress after the congressman from her state ends up dead. She also solves his murder, and helps the other congressman (who just so happens to be the dad from The Monster Squad) from Maine pass a bill to protect the cove.

Did I also mention that all the old, rich dudes on this show want to get together with Jessica? Her energy, her smarts, and her quick wit are like catnip to these dudes. I admire her ability to flirt without being awkward (not my skill set). She's never prim, but always proper and it's so much fun to watch her let go in her very Jessica Fletcher sort of way. She never loses her cool, and never gives too much away. There's something very feminist about her, although I doubt she'd be the first person to come to mind when you think feminist heroes, but the pieces are all there. Smarts, a photographic memory, awesomeness, nerves of steel, crime solving skills - Jessica Fletcher is my hero. She would appreciate my apprehension at picking up garbage bags on the side of the road. And if we followed those body part containing garbage bags to the dump, Jessica would find the killer in no time, putting the local police to shame with her mad skills.

Do yourself a favor, and spend your weekend solving mysteries with Jessica Fletcher. You'll be glad you did.

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