Lazy Movie Weekend: Can you dig it?

Other than my birth and the introduction of the Happy Meal, probably the most significant event to happen in 1979 was the theatrical release of The Warriors and America's introduction to the only movie about gangs that really matters. I was in my early teens the first time I saw this movie probably on USA Up All Night or WGN midnight movies. I watched a lot of random and age inappropriate movies when I was in my early teens. Since I've started writing this blog and revealed more of these things, my mother has been horrified. I think she should take it in stride; I could have done drugs or had a kid or been arrested (or all three at the same time). Watching age inappropriate movies seems tame.

The Warriors is one of those odd movies that I feel everyone should know but I always have to explain it to people. I do remember meeting the husband of a former co-worker and immediately bonding over our mutual love of this movie. I ended up being one of the few people he ever spoke to at work social events and usually our conversation returned to The Warriors. I will totally be your friend if you like this movie even if we have little else to talk about (or lots to talk about-it doesn't really matter).

I've been wanting to write about The Warriors for a long time. Unlike other movies I've written about, this one is not particularly funny or uplifting. Don't get me wrong - there are some hilarious things in this movie (themed gangs?) but it's not funny. After reading Bad Shakespeare's recent post about thinking about movies like we do literature, I realized that this is ultimately what I do with movies I love. I spend a lot of time analyzing and dissecting these movies. It's like I think I'm going to be graded on my critique of the themes in You've Got Mail. I liked Bad Shakespeare's point about filmmakers constructing novels on screen. That's what The Warriors is for me, a novel on screen.

Around the same time I first saw this movie, I was very into reading Greek and Roman history and mythology. At the time, I had no idea that this movie had source material very closely related to what I was reading but now that I know that it all just makes sense. Both the book (yes, there was a book first) and the film are based in part on the Greek story Anabasis by Xenophon, a student of Socrates. The story is about the Ten Thousand Army, a Greek army of mercenaries, marching to seize the throne of Persia. They ultimately fail and have to march back home. This will all make sense once we start to discuss The Warriors in more detail. Here are two important words for you to know:

• Anabasis: An expedition from the coastline into the interior of a country
• Katabasis: An expedition from the interior to the coastline

Armed with this knowledge, are you ready? Can you dig it?

1. It should be dark when you watch this movie. It's filmed almost exclusively at night so watching during the day is wrong as an experience and makes it hard to see.
2. The Michael Beck conundrum: I previously wrote about Michael Beck and the movie Xanadu. In this movie he plays Swan, the gang's second in command and was poised to become a much bigger star than he actually became because of The Warriors. However, he donned roller skates (and very tiny shorts) and pined and pouted for Olivia Newton-John's muse Kira and (more than likely) the silliness of Xanadu canceled out any credibility from The Warriors. I love both movies equally but I can see why Mr. Beck would be bitter. 
3. The Warriors all wear vests. I probably don't need to say any more but I will. These men can wear vests. Gentlemen, take note. Learn from the masters.
4. Cleon establishes the hierarchy of the gang (through an odd assortment of flashbacks) and the Warriors leave the confines of Coney Island (the coastline) to go to the Bronx (the interior) for a huge gang meeting. Instead of marching, they take the subway. I like to imagine this is how Greek armies would travel today.
5.  I'd like to point out that Cleon uses the word "conclave" in the opening sequence. 
6. Themed gangs! We've got mimes, guys in fatigues, and the Baseball Furies (more on them later). Is this how gangs really work? If I had a themed gang, our theme would probably be characters from musicals. Except Cats. I hate Cats.
7. Many of the gangs actually buy subway tokens to get to the conclave. Like proper gentlemen. And then thousands of gang members converge in the Bronx. This is probably better than thousands of hipsters converging in Brooklyn.
8. "Can you dig it?" Seriously, Cyrus (the leader the Grammercy Riffs and the gang leader of gang leaders) is the greatest. If I could say "Can you dig it?" like him then my life would be very different.
9. Of course, Cyrus is not with us for very long. His death starts the whole thing off and a Warrior knows who did it. The Warriors, not actually realizing they're being framed for murder, do exactly what anyone else would do: they regroup in a cemetery. The plan: make it to the subway platform at Union Square. Once the Warriors get there, they're home free.
10. Quite possibly the greatest DJ voice of all time: Lynne Thigpen. Yes, she was also the Chief on Where In the World is Carmen Sandiego? - but this is just so much better. She dedicates the song "Nowhere to Run" to the Warriors.
11. Tony Danza was originally supposed to play Vermin but took the role on Taxi instead. I'd say he made the perfect choice because I could never take this movie seriously if Tony Danza was in it.
12. "When we get there that's when we made it." Wise words, Swan, wise words.
13. The Gramercy Riffs (Cyrus's gang) is taken over by Masai who begins to get creepy updates from random stooges. Like the Nome King in Return to Oz.
14. So Luther, the actual bad guy. Luther is that dangerous combination of stupid, psychotic, and mean. All I ever want to do is punch him despite his oddly photogenic hair.
15. Ajax (my 3rd favorite Warrior played by James Remar) says the best line of the movie: "When did you turn into a fucking diplomat?" Swan makes a face because that's what he does.
16. In addition to conclave being used, Swan and the Orphans use the word "parlay" like they're pirates.
17. Enter Mercy. Every movie has to have a love interest and so we have Mercy. And her shoes which trouble me the entire movie.
18. One of my favorite moments is when Swan throws a Molotov cocktail like a boss. And a car explodes. That's how you make an exit.
19. You know that part in The Wiz when they're in the station and it comes to life and tries to kill them? I always think of that every time the Warriors enter any subway station. And yes, Fox does get thrown in front of a subway car. By a cop. I did not just hallucinate that moment.
20. Holy cow, the Baseball Furies. Greatest gang concept ever. The director, Walter Hill, is an avid baseball and KISS fan so this gang was his homage to both. What I find creepy is that none of them ever speak. I would have loved if they had spouted KISS lyrics in their taunts. But that's probably not really appropriate for this movie.
21. Never trust a group of women hanging out in the subway late at night or one woman just randomly sitting on a park bench. Gentlemen, think with your brains. That is all. And yes, that is Mercedes Ruehl.
22. The Lizzies - the girl gang. Seriously, boys are dumb (except Rembrandt since he knows this ain't right). My larger question about this gang is how does one acquire a gang lair? Do you have to pay rent? Are you responsible for damages to said gang lair? Because that's going to suck for the Lizzies.
23. Mercy: I can't go in there. It's a men's room. Swan: Are you kidding? Given their earlier conversations about Mercy's profession, this just makes me laugh and laugh.
24. If you're keeping track, the Warriors have defeated five gangs by the time they get on the train home to Coney Island: the Turnbull ACs, the Orphans, the Baseball Furies, the Lizzies and the Punks. Remember, the Warriors were here.
25. The scene where the prom couples get on the subway and sit across from Mercy and Swan who are filthy and beat up. Mercy goes to fix her hair and Swan stops her because they don't need to prove themselves to anyone.
26. The sun rises on Coney Island and it is magical. "This is what we fought all night to get back to?" says Swan with a hint of disdain. He then launches into a weird conversation about leaving Coney Island. I'm guessing he was thinking, "I'll move to California and be an artist. And fall in love with a muse."
27. And of course the most famous quote of the movie: "Warriors, come out to pla-ay." Luther continues to creep me out no matter how much time passes. And the bottle thing is just annoying. Seriously, I want to punch him.
28. Which brings us to the last stand on the beach at dawn. Very Greek epic of the Warriors and the Rogues. Luther proves he is one crazy dude, Swan throws a knife like a boss (this is my favorite way to describe people), and the Gramercy Riffs arrive to exact justice on the Rogues. 
29. And the Warriors walk off into the sunset and do whatever it is gangs do when they're not fighting (Nap? Play cards?) all while "In the City" by Joe Walsh plays in the background. 

Did you get all that symbolism? Are you going to start using anabasis and katabasis in your daily conversations? I had something like 10 pages of notes from watching the movie but distilled it down to the essentials. I think for my birthday this year (in addition to wanting an a cappella group to follow me around all day singing my favorite songs), I'd like to host a double feature of The Warriors and Xanadu - two of my favorite movies, both featuring Michael Beck, both including Greek mythology/stories as major plot points. This sounds like an excellent birthday to me.

If someone wants to come as a Swan/Sonny combo (including roller skates and a Warriors vest), well, you might be my new best friend.


Next time: In anticipation of the new David Bowie album, I discuss my love of all things Bowie and wish that I had been born when cool things happened. Like David Bowie. In concert. All the time.

Helpful Warriors resources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Warriors_%28film%29
www.imdb.com
http://warriorsmovie.co.uk/
http://photos.lucywho.com/michael-beck-photos-t49395.html

When you realize it's only Wednesday, the only thing to do is watch Xanadu

The vest is one of those male fashion items that I adore. There's something very sexy about a vest - I don't even know what it is. Those guys who can rock a vest should wear them all the time. Those who can't, well, there's a fashion choice out there that you can rock too. I promise.

One man who can rock a vest is Michael Beck. He did it shirtless in The Warriors and then with shirts in Xanadu. I can't remember which of these movies I saw first but I distinctly remember having a teen girl crush on Michael Beck. I'm sure it was the vest.

For real

But I'm not here to talk about the vest or even The Warriors (although one day I will remedy that because it is amazing). I'm here to make Wednesday go by faster and the only way to do that is to watch Xanadu.

1. Olivia Newton-John, Gene Kelly, and Michael Beck are the stars. What could possibly be wrong with this combination?
2. Soundtrack by ELO (that's the Electric Light Orchestra for those of you who were born after 1990). One of my favorite songs "I'm Alive" is at the beginning of the movie. It's the song playing when the muses come to life from a mural painted on a building. Keep in mind that enjoying this song/soundtrack still doesn't mean that Jeff Lynne will ever be anyone's favorite member of the Traveling Wilbury's.
3. "Aw what the hell. Guys like me shouldn't dream anyway." Sonny sets the stage for a muse intervention.
4. The Michael Beck conundrum. The Warriors was fairly well regarded film and has become a cult classic; Xanadu is just a cult classic. Beck has said that the ridiculousness of Xanadu ruined any of the momentum that The Warriors created for his career. I love both equally and for entirely different reasons so I call this my Michael Beck conundrum.
5. Roller-skating muses - that is all.
6. Gene Kelly enters the film during a scene in which he is playing a clarinet on the beach. For real.
7. Does anyone in this movie work? When Sonny and Danny (Gene Kelly's character) are walking along the boardwalk, there are a lot of people around during the day on a work day. This is why people have certain perceptions about life in California.
8. I loved roller-skating as a kid and this movie made me love it more. I haven't gone roller-skating since the mid-1990s but every time I watch this movie I want to badly. Are there any roller rinks left in NOVA? 
9. The "Magic" sequence. This is one of my favorite pop songs and my favorite song from this movie. If I could sing, I would want to sing this song always.
10. "Malone and McGuire sounds like a vaudeville act." Danny upon officially meeting Sonny
11. Sonny's boss is a perfect example of what was wrong with the 80s. He "smarted up and gave up art" and didn't want his workers to be creative. He is who Allison in The Breakfast Club was thinking about when she said when you grow up your heart dies.
12. Certain sequences in this movie were created solely to showcase Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly. Why not have a random 40s big band song in the middle of the movie? If we do, then they can sing and dance together. This + Kenny Ortega's choreography = magic.
13. "You're supposed to be an artist - use your imagination." Preach, Kira.
14. "Suddenly" - possibly the ultimate couple skate song. Who didn't have an awkward couple skate moment to this song at some point in their life?
15. Kira's boot skates. I would wear these and I'm not a roller-skating muse.
16. Danny and Sonny planning their club. The end result is what would happen if the 40s and the 80s had a baby and that baby grew up in 80s night clubs and wore a lot of neon and skirts with oddly placed slits. Then the weird merge between the decades happens at the end of the song. And then the world ends or something with jazz hands.
17. Danny can just recite the Coleridge poem "Kubla Khan" for fun. Do people (outside of English majors who are trying too hard) actually do this?
18. And now let's discuss the animated sequence. Is this how PG rated movies have always handled sex? Sonny and Kira appear as animated versions of themselves on a rose and then morph into fish and birds and then back to the rose. I don't really know how to feel about this part of the film. Words really can't describe it so you should just watch it for yourself. And by the way, this is all courtesy of Don Bluth who also brought you An American Tail.
19. And then Gene Kelly gets roller skates too.
20. "I'm a muse." "I'm glad someone is having a good time." Ha!
21. "Muses are just supposed to inspire." Not have feelings and not fall in love with Michael Beck and his vest.
22. Today I realized that if Kira and Sonny had babies, those babies would have the most amazing feathered 80s hair ever. The child's hair would be epic.
23. And then Sonny becomes a petulant child. "There's no Xanadu because there's no Kira." And my favorite, "Dreams die." Yes, they do Sonny, yes they do.
24. The sad ELO song plays and Sonny skates around trying to find where Kira came from. Then he finds the mural and skates into it. In very tiny shorts. Which brings us to Sonny meeting Zeus (in very tiny shorts). This entire sequence looks like something from the first Tron movie.
25. Gods take Mortal History Class because they don't care about love or feelings and have no concept of time so they have to learn about it in class. This makes so much sense."Maybe just one moment. Or forever. I keep getting them mixed up too." Thanks Zeus.
26. Finally Xanadu (the club) opens. For years, this is how I envisioned adult nightlife. And Gene Kelly is back on skates (which is surreal). Can this place please exist for real?
27. "Xanadu" morphs into a weird song with multiple genres and costume changes. I do dig the country section (mainly for the boots) and it all leads to Kira and the other muses going back home.
28. But all is not lost. "Magic" plays in the background as a sad Sonny looks to the sky, pining for Kira. Sonny wears an awesome Xanadu jacket (should've been a vest) and Kira is brought back to him in the form of a waitress. And love and magic conquers all.

I've decided that people who don't like this movie have no heart. There's something for everyone: Gene Kelly, dancing, Michael Beck in a vest, roller-skating, Olivia Newton-John being awesome, awkward animation, and Greek mythology.

Do you think I could convince 8 of my friends to dress likes muses for Halloween this year? Roller-skating muses? 

Image from http://photos.lucywho.com/michael-beck-photos-t49395.html