Tuesday, January 13, 2015

What's the big commotion? Finding your television soul mate

Recently I had a conversation with one of my trusted guy friends, Matt, about the possibility of setting up an online dating profile. This is something that I've been hemming and hawing about for some time now and I decided that 2015 is as good a time as any to actually do this. Again. I have to try harder this time or something. Matt sort of agreed to provide his opinion on my profile should I actually go through with this. This is why all women should have a handful of trusted male friends and all men should have a handful of trusted female friends. I'm sure we serve other purposes (I'm excellent at reminding people to make smart life choices, assisting guys with shoe purchases, and serving as a fill in date to weddings) but really it's to make sure that we don't embarrass ourselves in front of people we may or may not have some form of romantic relationship with at some point in the future.

One of the other things we discussed was my criteria for guys - did I want to be with someone who was exactly like me or incredibly different? Was a more middle of the road guy my speed? My response to this question was simple: I would like to be able to watch television with my significant other. I'd like us to have a few shows in common; not every show but enough. Additionally, the guy would have to be someone who would occasionally watch a stupid Hallmark movie with me and I would in turn, watch something that I hate like basketball or procedural dramas. I don't think this is too much to ask but as dating profiles tend to be loaded with garbage and words I hate, I have a feeling this will be more difficult than it should be. I dream of a day when I can be honest in a dating profile in a way that doesn't make me sound like a spinster cat lady or a weirdo who has too many interests.

I'm not helping matters by re-watching my favorite television show of all time, Gilmore Girls. Anytime I re-watch this show, I reevaluate the way I view relationships and what I envision my future manfriend (is that more grown-up than boyfriend?) will be like. I started re-watching over the holidays and have not been able to stop (although I did pause long enough to hate watch the season premiere of Girls - we all need something to hate watch). I started with season four, my favorite season, and finished up season six, my least favorite season, last weekend. Lots of very significant things happen during these three seasons: the Dragonfly opens, Jason Stiles appears, Rory loses her virginity to Dean (sorry for the spoilers but seriously binge watch faster), Jess makes an appearance or two, Luke and Lorelei happen, and Logan enters Rory's life. I am firmly Team Logan and nothing will ever change that.

Both Lorelei and Rory have a lot of stuff going on in their love lives during these seasons so it's easy to lose focus and neglect a very important relationship going on in the background. No, I'm not talking about Kirk and Lulu but Lane and Zach. It's through re-watching the romance of Lane and Zach that I came to my criteria of wanting to be able to watch television with my significant other. Lane and Zach start off as bandmates in Hep Alien and eventually become much more. Lane and Zach are musical soul mates but have enough sense to have a few things that are just theirs (bluegrass music for Zach; Fleetwood Mac for Lane). I wouldn't be able to do that; I have in the past and it's meant having to listen to way more Kid Rock and Enya than anyone should ever have to listen to in their lives. I have learned that I can't make compromises when it comes to music but I am willing to be more open about television shows. It's weird I know, but it's me.

In season five there is an episode entitled "To Live and Let Diorama." During this episode, Lane, Rory, and Paris all enjoy a little too much of the Founders' Punch and end up lamenting their love lives to one another. Lane suspects Zach of having some sort of relationship with Sophie, the owner of the music store, played by Carole King (who is awesome in this role). Lane's suspects this because Zach declines to go with her to buy cleaning supplies, a chore they like to do together. This is how a drunken Lane confronts Sophie:

"You've not only been to New York; you've lived there, so you know where the best coffee and bagels are. But you don't know him like I know him. For instance I know what cleaning products he likes, do you?"

It's in this moment of this episode that it dawned on me that it is something small like knowing the favorite cleaning supplies of a person or being able to watch a television show together even if you don't love it completely that you find love actually. I, and most women my age, have been raised to believe that it is in the grand gesture, the song about them, the elaborate scheme to get your attention that one finds love. We neglect the little things and are disappointed when no one shows up at our house with a boombox to play our favorite song outside our window. Romantic comedies and sitcoms have made it hard out there for a single lady.

At minute 2:07 in the below video, Zach writes a "hit song" with Mrs. Kim (Lane's mom). I've had this song in my head for six days. I hope one day Todd Lowe will be on another television show playing a guy who used to be in a rock band and he makes plans for a comeback. He dusts off this song and it becomes the hit song Mrs. Kim asked him to write.

I plan to be watching that show and maybe, just maybe someone will be sitting next to me enjoying the show not because it's his thing but because it's something we do together.

Lorelei image
Lane and Zach image

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