Lazy Movie Weekend: I'm so very Mary Tyler Moore

I'm in a very 1990s mood these days. I don't know why but I have this very strange desire to return to my teen years and the glory of the 90s. It was a simpler time. There were no smart phones or Facebook or whatever else the kids are using these days. Maybe it's because I'm staring at the end of my 30s (I'll be 37 in June) that I've become nostalgic in a rather maudlin way. That's just one theory; I'm open to others.

How lucky were we that so many amazing, amazingly awful, funny, random movies came out during the decade? This is the decade that gave us Singles, Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption, Fight Club, The Usual Suspects, Clueless, Braveheart, Fargo, Cruel Intentions, and To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar to name a few. I watch To Wong Foo anytime it's on a random cable station because it's genius. It's where I got the phrase "What fresh hell is this" from; thank you Patrick Swayze. Of course it's also the decade also gave us Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, and George Clooney as Batman, the Ace Ventura movies, and Reality Bites. I want to like Reality Bites as an entire movie but I struggle with it a lot. It's like Ben Stiller didn't know if he wanted to make a story about Gen X or a crappy love story or both. His leads, Lelaina (Winona Ryder) and Troy (Ethan Hawke), are so tragically boring it's difficult to not want to smack them both during the movie; his hair is too long and needs to be washed and he's just so tortured; Matt Dillon and hell, Campbell Scott did tortured better in Singles.. Lelaina is so blah it kills me; doily dress aside. I don't care what happens to either of them.

However, Reality Bites introduced me to the great Janeane Garofalo and Steve Zahn. The movie that inspired us all to dance in gas station mini marts and shop at thrift stores also brought us Vickie and Sammy (Janeane and Steve), the true power couple of the film. The movie would have been so much better if Stiller had spent more time on both of these characters; their story arcs are more compelling and they're just more likeable than the other two. I'd love for someone to do a cut of this movie that's only about them. It's only Vickie and Sammy that really make this movie work for me. I know a big part of that is the actors themselves; I've enjoyed both of them in pretty much everything they've been in.
It made me happy that after this movie Garofalo would star in movies like The Truth About Cats & Dogs, Romy & Michele's High School Reunion, Copland, and Mystery Men. My favorite of her films is Wet, Hot American Summer. In some ways we are all Beth. I also appreciate her politics (she's a staunch feminist) and that she tends to play smart, funny, cynical, and awesome women. One of my friends recently called her my spirit animal. I'm not 22 so I don't refer to people that way but I get her point.

My second favorite of her movies is The MatchMaker, an often overlooked gem from 1997. It involves several of my favorite things: a smart female lead, Denis Leary swearing, Irish men, and awkward matchmaking. So grab pint of Guinness and let's gather round for The MatchMaker.

• Do you remember when Denis Leary was in romantic comedies? Yeah, this is at the height of that period in his career. He's best when he's yelling and swearing so this movie is perfect.
• "How could it be a personal call? I don't have a personal life!" We meet Marcy, trying to avoid Denis Leary and not be called into the Senator's office to do something she doesn't want to do. In this case, go to Ireland.
• So a Boston politician wants to look for his Irish roots in a election season. This will go so well. 
• Marcy arrives in Ireland, greeted by a mural of JFK. Throughout the entire rest of the film we'll be treated to random paintings of JFK in every home.
• She makes her way to a town called Ballinagra which, of course, is hosting a matchmaking festival at the exact same time she's there. The town name is a reworking of the Irish 'Baile Na Gra' which means 'Town of Love'. Plot device!
• The soundtrack! Every time I watch this movie all I want to do is listen to Irish music and mid-90s alt rock. You can take a look at the track list here. If you only know Shane MacGowan for "Fairytale of New York", this movie will give you a new song to love. Interestingly, the song "Haunted" was written for the film Sid & Nancy, a completely different love story than what we have here.
• In addition to Denis Leary and Janeane Garofalo, the cast also features character actor and perpetual crossword clue, Milo O'Shea and Maria Doyle Kennedy from the greatest movie about Irish soul singers ever made, The Commitments.
• Dermot's (O'Shea) videos: Dermot is one of the town's matchmakers and throughout the movie, there are little videos of him talking about how to find love and the art of matchmaking. These are some of my favorite parts of the movie. They also make me wonder why we don't rely on matchmakers anymore. Dermot has a lot of really good ideas.
• One of Dermot's clients is an old man who cannot understand why he has to complete a questionnaire about himself. "Bollocks to my favorite color!" Later, there's a bit of dialogue about his favorite animal that's pretty funny.
• The genealogy guy - he's Charlies grandpa in the Tim Burton version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 
• What is with tanning in English and Irish movies? It seems dangerous on so many levels. I get it, there's not a lot of sunshine and warmth but tanning? I don't understand.
• Marcy sets out around town to try to find the Senator's family. She ends up with a pub full of single men who all think she's looking for a husband. Let's make fun of the tourist.
• Marcy to Sean: "Your laughter is really irritating me." I may use this line from now on.
• Senator McGlory to journalists: "I hate you all. When I'm President I'll have you all killed." (from the inside of his limo)
• "Is being an idiot like being high all the time?" Another Marcy gem.
• Of course there's a bet. It wouldn't be a rom-com if there weren't a bet. 
• I like Dermot's theory about how a couple should get clunking heads out of the way early in their relationship. And then Marcy and Sean clunk heads. Foreshadowing.
• The old man in the Aran Islands - this is the type of old person I aspire to be. Cranky, a little crazy, and weird but not scary.
• Am I imagining things or did we have an obsession as a nation with all things Celtic in the 90s? I seem to remember Riverdance and Enya being super popular at this time. I assume that's why this movie even exists.
•  My favorite exchange of the entire film: Sean: You could never live here. Marcy: What makes you say that? Sean: You're a big city kind o' girl. You're-you're Mary Tyler Moore. Marcy: Oh, yes. I am so very Mary Tyler Moore. Everyone says so. Sean: No, but you're- It's like you need to be hooked up to the city otherwise your batteries go flat. Marcy: Okay. So, I'm like a battery operated Mary Tyler Moore? If you flatter me any more I'm gonna have to toss your pale, Irish ass off the side of this boat. 
• Things start to speed up very quickly after the Aran Islands: Marcy discovers Sean's almost ex-wife, the Senator and Denis Leary arrive, and we find out that genealogy guy has a computer. Let's make fun of the tourist.
• Are all houses and businesses unlocked in Ireland? It seems unsafe.
• The movie takes an unexpectedly sad turn towards the end. Dermot's death (this movie is almost 20 years old so shut it about spoilers) serves a "purpose" in the larger movie but it's still sad. I love that in his final moments, he's surrounded by all the happy couples he matched. He's surrounded by love.
  
• Of course Sean's ex, Moira, is a Kennedy. Of course she is. And what could be better than a beautiful Irish woman named Moira Kennedy marrying a Boston senator in an election year?
• Marcy rules. That's really all anyone needs to know. She gets stuff done, she tells Denis Leary what's what, and she gets the guy in the end without changing the things that are great about her. That's what I love most about Marcy; she learns about herself and improves but doesn't become someone else.

If watching this movie doesn't make you want to immediately book a ticket to Ireland, I don't know what's wrong with you. That was my reaction when I saw it in 1997 and that was my reaction when I re-watched it earlier this week. So if anyone needs me to go to Ireland during a matchmaking festival we don't know about and look for your possibly non-existent Irish relatives, give me a call. I'm willing to be that tourist for you.

I leave you with a little Shane MacGowan and Sinead O'Connor. Enjoy!

Coming soon to the Island: It's almost time for Record Store Day! This year I'm taking the show on the road to Richmond to visit record stores and check out the GWAR Bar. Get ready for shenanigans and records - coming at you in two weeks!

Images:

Reality Bites

Dermot&Marcy

Sean&Marcy

It's the end of the year as we know it and I feel fine

Well kids, it's that time of the year again. A time when we all make a list of all the things we are or aren't going to do this year. As much as I like lists, I never make resolution lists. It always seems like a waste. Am I going to go to the gym everyday because I resolved to do so? No, I've been resolving to do so for years and it never seems to stick.

Instead of resolutions, I like to plan to do a few things/goals/activities (or just one) that I'd like to try or try to do more often this year. I don't really consider these resolutions since it's not a huge deal if I don't do them and frankly, none of them make me feel bad about myself (which resolutions typically do). I've always felt that resolutions were invented so that we'd all feel guilty about something all the time and then hate ourselves a bit more because we didn't meet the expectation of the resolution. Why do that to yourself? I'm certainly not going to and hopefully, the things I decide on this year will be fun and exciting. Anything we try to do should empower us and that's the point of what I do every year.

Last year, my list included seeing more live music (I sort of did this but only once I moved back to Virginia), writing more (DONE), going bowling more often (I went once but with strangers so I'll consider that a draw), helping Anita Smallin make National Postcard Writing Month happen (we'll just have to try harder this year), and to be the leading lady of my own life.

It's the last one that I'd like to focus on today. Here is what I wrote last year:

Be more like Kate Winslet’s character in The Holiday. I love this movie and I identify with Kate’s character the most. One of my favorite parts of the movie is when her next-door neighbor (the fantastic Eli Wallach) tells her to be the leading lady of her own life. He recommends all these wonderful classic movies that have leading ladies who are extraordinarily independent and awesome. The women and eventually Kate, have gumption and moxie. That’s what I will strive to do this year. 

This, Island readers, is what I will do this year because I only did a so-so job last year. I've often felt like the sidekick in my own life. If I had to pick the characters I most identify with on my favorite tv show, Gilmore Girls, it would be Lane and Sookie. Lane and Sookie are Lorelei and Rory's sidekicks (when Lorelei and Rory aren't busy being each other's sidekicks). I get it, they're not Gilmores but you know what? They're awesome and they deserve leading lady status as much as those Gilmores. I've always felt like Lane (mostly) - quirky, way into music no one else likes, and an introvert (not shy, just not an engager).

Sidekicks wait. They go on "adventures" with friends, wait for others to make things happen. You know what happens when you wait for others? Nothing - you sit at home watching Hallmark movies and thinking about all the things that you could be doing.

Back in March, I wrote about being labeled "pretty, funny, or smart" by a teacher of mine as it related to the Rush Limbaugh/Sandra Fluke incident about contraceptives. I've been thinking about that particular post again lately because I've had a series of conversations (mostly with other women) that lead me to believe that we still think that you can only be one of these things. I am tired of thinking that being independent and smart and quirky are somehow bad things and relegate us to sidekick status. That the capacity to do things by yourself or alone (not be lonely) is somehow a bad thing. It is not. That because I'm independent and quirky and smart and do things by myself, no guy will ever love me (which someone told me recently - apparently I'm intimidating and quirkiness has been taken over by hipsters so it's not attractive and I should dial down the quirkiness) and that I am only my job because clearly that's all anyone ever is. You know, if you're not a mom (because then I would be mom first, career second - apparently). Are you kidding me? Is this still where we are for women and girls?

It's unfortunate that so much of our lives are spent not liking anything about ourselves. Or we spend so much time trying to be something for other people. Why do we do that to ourselves? I feel like since I entered my 30s I have truly liked who I am, what I look like, and what I do with my life (career, hobbies, etc.). It's fascinating to me that it took me until I hit 30 to really feel that way.  I just want to be happy and enjoy my life and stop trying so hard to be things I'm not. I want to be like the 3rd grader who dresses as a different historical figures that she likes (male or female) because she has fun doing it and is learning something at the same time. Because she is being the leading lady (in a lot of ways) of her own life.

So my plan for 2013: be the leading lady of my own life.

I will leave you with the wise words of the poet/rocker Liz Phair. Because we all are extraordinary.

Video from youtube.com

PS - Thanks for reading in 2012! I hope that you come back in 2013. I promise more lazy movie weekends (we haven't talked about The Warriors or Moonrise Kingdom yet and we need to) and there will be another Bad Shakespeare/Island of Misfit Toys crossover at some point (I may or may not talk about superheroes-you won't want to miss that). And don't forget about Paris in June-it's going to be amazing.

Have a safe and Happy New Year!

You're gonna make it after all

"Oh yes, I'm so very Mary Tyler Moore, everyone says so." 

-Janeane Garofalo, The Matchmaker

It's very possible that we've come to a time in history when not everyone knows who Mary Tyler Moore is and that there was an amazing and ground-breaking show called The Mary Tyler Moore Show. This is both sad and disturbing but entirely possible given the fact that there are people who don't know what a VCR is, who the Captain and Tennille are, and that there was a time when people read newspapers in paper form and not online. People also wrote letters to one another and didn't wear tights as pants. And I don't mean leggings, I mean tights. As pants. This can't be right.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show was the first television show to feature a single, never-married, career woman as the main character. The show ran from 1970-1977 (yes, before I was born) and featured the amazing Mary Tyler Moore as Mary Richards, a single woman in her 30s who moves to Minneapolis and becomes a producer on the evening news program. She's not looking for a man or waiting for one to find her. She puts up with her curmudgeon of a boss, the wonderful Ed Asner and serves as the center of the show, the proverbial glue that holds it all together. The show also featuers the great Valerie Harper as Rhoda Morgenstern, Betty White as Sue Ann Nivens, and Ted Knight as Ted Baxter. And did I mention Cloris Leachman? Oh yeah, she's the landlady.

Oh and did we discuss the title sequence? If I wore hats I'd want to stand at an intersection in Minneapolis and throw my hat in the air and be amazing and awesome and have my own theme song. But I don't wear hats (even in the winter when visiting Minnesota).

I watched reruns of The Mary Tyler Moore Show on Nick at Nite (around the same time The Monkees were on). I loooooved Mary Richards and her friends and her life. I've never been able to decide if I'm more Mary or more Rhoda (sort of like I've never been able to figure out if I'm more Rory or Lane - I think I'm more Lane). Do I get to be sincere and nice and the glue that holds it all together like Mary or the wise-cracking, dating disaster who eventually gets her own show like Rhoda? I just don't know.

When I moved to California one of my friends started calling me Mary (and only the two of us and one other person in our office knew what we were talking about without explanation) and told me how excited she was for me to forge a new life on the West Coast. She called me brave and pioneering. I didn't feel very Mary; I felt more like a character from the Oregon Trail (and yes, I know the Oregon Trail did not go through California - I read and played the video game). There was the real possibility that my car would break down on the drive or some other terrible thing would happen on the way to Alameda. I'm not sure what the modern equivalent of dysentery (obviously it could just be dysentery) or fording a river would be but I'm sure there's something similar. Maybe it's dealing with food judgement (I'm talking to you lady at the store who turns her nose up at the non-organic carrots in my shopping cart) or finding a parking spot in Berkeley.

I've decided that my move to California was not my Mary Richards moment; my move back to Virginia is. It's not that moving to Cali wasn't exciting or different but it hasn't been the life-changing moment I think my friend (and I) thought it would be. So this winter I would like to stage my own version of the MTMS title sequence in Arlington. I think it could be fun - I will need a photographer/partner in crime to assist. I would also like someone to write me a theme song.