Stuff I Love: How to Dress Like a Woman

Ladies, I don't know about you but I honestly don't remember the day in school where they taught us how to dress like a woman. I recall the incredibly awkward day where all of us girls got to learn about getting our periods and feminine hygiene products (but not about how much money we'd have to spend on said products). If my memory is serving me properly, there was definitely a terrible video about the joys of being a woman and how our periods make us special or some such nonsense. I definitely remember sex ed class in high school. My health teacher was really excited when two of us, me being one of the two, got perfect scores on the test about pregnancy. Her exclamation, "You got a perfect score on your pregnancy test," still haunts me.

But I can't recall dress like a woman class. I would think if something was this important, so important that our president has issued some nonsense "decree" about women visiting the White House needing to dress like women, I would have learned about it in school. Right? Isn't that how this works? We weren't as concerned about grizzly bears roaming the halls back then so I would think my public school could have added "dress like a woman" classes. Thanks for nothing high school.

Most of my fashion choices come from one of following sources of inspiration:

• 80s and 90s teen movies (still even all this time later) and sometimes tv shows
• Rock stars I like
• Costume design reference books
• The children's section at Old Navy. For the patterns - seriously why don't they make an adult version of the dragonfly shirt? Am I the only one that feels this way? Don't answer that.

I'm not joking or trying to be cute. Most of my fashion inspiration does come from the movies. I think I speak for many women out there who grew up in the 1990s that I still crave Cher's closet from Clueless despite the fact that none of those clothes are right for me. My mother occasionally reminds me what a willful child I was when it came to wearing dresses, pink, and changing clothes multiple times a day. Mom, I'm sorry. Figuring out your personal style and the sort of statement you want to make with clothing takes a long time to accomplish. It's takes a lot of trial and error. It takes a lot of embarrassing combinations of oversized sweaters and stirrup pants (it's was the late 1980s). And it takes a lot of inspiration.

Continuing with Stuff I Love, let's grab some popcorn and a glass of your favorite movie-watching wine and settle in for a little fashion inspiration with from some of my favorite movie ladies who, in their own unique ways, taught me how to dress like a woman.

1. Andie in Pretty In Pink (1986): I have very strong opinions about the prom dress in this movie; most people who have seen this movie have very strong opinions on that dress. Even Ringwald hated it but it works in the context of the movie. What I love about Andie is her sense of self within her clothes. Her look was modern and retro at the same time; that's something I love to do myself. I can trace my love of thrift store sweaters to Andie. My favorite outfit was the gray one she wore on her first date with Blaine. I always thought she looked so sophisticated and very unlike any teenager I knew. She was who she was and her clothes helped tell that story...even that terrible prom dress. Pretty in Pink turned 30 last year and there was a great article about the costumes from the designer that I enjoyed very much. What's interesting about the movie is that if you look at it today, so many of the fashions are back. It's timeless in a way I don't think anyone ever thought it would be.
   
2. Jo Stockton in Funny Face (1957): I love this movie so much! It's a fashion movie wrapped around a mildly awkward love story between Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire set in a very hazy/dreamy 1950s Paris. What could be better?! Hepburn plays Jo, a bookstore clerk who is "discovered" by fashion photographer Dick Avery (Astaire) and becomes the new face of Quality magazine. The magazine whisks her off to Paris to launch spring fashions and we are treated to a fantastic fashion photo montage in front of the sights in Paris. Jo wants nothing to do with fashion but wants to go to Paris to meet her favorite philosopher and wear cigarette pants and dance tables in a jazz club (as one does). My favorite moment of the movie is when she's helping Dick set up one of the shots on the steps of the opera. It's so good. Audrey teaches us all many things when it comes to fashion but for me, this movie is really about taking a risk. Jo could have stayed a bookstore clerk but she took a chance with fashion and found something new. You literally never know where you clothes might take you.
   
3. Elle Woods in Legally Blonde (2001): We can learn much from Elle Woods: that you can never wear enough pink, sparkly bikinis are the law school admissions applicant must-have, the rules of hair care, how to be a true friend. As I've discussed previously, Elle is the perfect heroine to have as you approach adulthood. She's smart (although no one thinks so), she's kind, she goes after what she wants (even if originally it's just a dude who doesn't deserve her), and she knows how to get stuff done. Fashion-wise, Elle Woods and I could not be further from one another but what we share is the idea that fashion should empower you. Your clothes shouldn't be a hindrance or an afterthought. Women in positions of power, whatever those positions might be, embrace this idea. Look at someone like Michelle Obama; she used fashion so well while First Lady. She conveyed elegance, power, femininity, strength, and killer arms over and over again. She curated her fashion smartly just as Elle does throughout the movie. You don't have to wear that much pink to learn from Elle.
   
4. Allison Reynolds in The Breakfast Club (1985): Allison's transformation at the end of The Breakfast Club is the kind of movie moment that elicits very strong opinions from viewers years after watching the movie. Allison goes from the weird girl with "all that shit under your eyes" (eyeliner) to a mini-me version of Claire (Molly Ringwald) in what seems like only minutes. When I was younger, I was disappointed in Allison's makeover but I also understood why she did it. High school sucks, even if you enjoyed your experience. That's how I originally viewed Allison's makeover; a way to deal with the fact that high school sucks and she wanted it to suck a little less. I didn't love her motivation but I understood it. As I've gotten older and "wiser," I've re-watched the movie a few times and my opinion has changed again. I don't necessarily think Allison was dealing with the fact that high school sucks and she wanted to fit in a bit more. It was about trying on different personas as part of figuring out who she actually is. That's a huge part of growing up. Even if I didn't realize it when I originally watched the movie, Allison inspired me to do the same. I went through so many fashion phases in my youth: semi-goth, hippie flower child, trying too hard preppie, wearing too many floral patterns girl to get myself to where my fashion life resides today (a quirky librarian with mild punk undertones and a love of whimsical patterns). Maybe the following Monday, Allison reverts back to her original style of clothing. Maybe she figures out how to combine her style and Claire's style into one wonderful statement. Maybe she does something completely different. That is the best part of fashion: you can do whatever you want.
   
5. Marcy in The Matchmaker (1997): I love Janeane Garofalo. She's hilarious and talented and feminist and awesome. She was the best part of Reality Bites and made Mystery Men the delight that it is. My favorite of her movies from the late 90s will always be The Matchmaker. Marcy was everything I aspired to be as an adult (I was 17 in 1997): independent, funny, adorable, fashionable, and she had super cool job. She also got to go to Ireland by herself. This was all very exciting to me. Also, she eventually falls in love with a handsome and sort of dorky Irish guy; basically my romantic life goal. But it's her clothes that I love. I will always love the fashion of the 1990s. I'd sing "I Will Always Love You" to the fashion of the 1990s if that was something I could do. I love chunky shoes, skirt or dress with tights combos, awesome coats and jackets, vintage/thrift store chic. I still dress with these elements in my wardrobe because true love never dies. Marcy epitomizes this entire decade in one movie. I wanted that brownish/reddish (is it burgundy?) coat she wears on the ferry with Sean. I craved the dress she wears when stomping on the rental car. She wears scarves like a champ. Marcy was adulthood and independence and occasional poor choices all rolled into one. Every time I put on my three favorite skirts (two are striped, one is black) with brightly colored or black tights and throw on some chunky heels, I feel like Marcy. I also feel so very Mary Tyler Moore. 
   
6. Louise Bryant in Reds (1982): Valentine's Day is right around the corner. I'm not a huge fan of this holiday but my personal V-Day tradition is to watch Warren Beatty's sweeping epic, Reds. While it is a film about John Reed, the journalist who wrote Ten Days That Shook the World, it's also a movie about the love affair between Reed and Louise Bryant, also a journalist, that unfolds against the backdrop of the Russian Revolution. The movie is gorgeous to watch; the sets, the costumes, the story. Every piece of it works to form the story. The cast is stellar and I can't help but fall into the world of Reed and Bryant each time I watch it. Diane Keaton is stunning as Louise Bryant; she takes up so much space in every scene she's in I'm surprised other actors could handle it (but it's because they're all so good). Bryant was not always well liked in the circles she and Reed ran in; some felt she was no one or attaching herself to his fame but she had her own career and her own successes as a journalist. I have zero desire to wear the fashions of early 1900s but I can appreciate how Keaton's Bryant does. What I gained from her in this film is that confidence; you wear that fur coat and you wear it like a boss. That's how a woman dresses.
   
7. Dinky Bossetti in Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael (1990): Everyone has their favorite Winona Ryder movie; mine is Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael. This movie is after Heathers and Beetlejuice but before Mermaids, Edward Scissorhands, and Reality Bites. Heathers is my second favorite but there's something about Dinky that wins over Veronica Sawyer every day of the week. Since I'm sure most people have forgotten this little gem, a quick summary: Dinky is your typical movie loner. She doesn't quite fit in her small town or her high school. She's adopted and she begins to believe that she's the secret child of a woman named Roxy Carmichael, who left town 15 years ago to become a movie star. Roxy announces she's coming back to town and Dinky sets out to prove Roxy is her mother. You can fill in the gaps with what happens next (or find it somewhere to watch; it's not on Netflix). Anyway, Dinky dresses exactly like I dressed in high school (for most of high school): oversized sweaters, weird shirts, and the same black shoes. Dinky didn't teach me to enjoy the comforts of baggy clothes. (PS: Baggy clothes are not the answer. They don't hide things, they make you look larger. Wear something form fitting but not tight that plays to your assets to truly feel comfortable. It took me a very long time to figure this one out.) She taught me about contrasts. Towards the end of the movie, Dinky dons a bubblegum pink dress and combat boots. It's so good. It's girly and feminine but also edgy and totally her. This where I learned to combine heavy boots with a whimsically patterned sweater or a breezy summer dress with a structured jacket (although I don't wear this anymore because I can't find a jacket I enjoy much). This is probably the fashion lesson I've carried with me the longest. All from a forgotten Winona Ryder movie. 

There is no one way to dress like a woman. One of the reasons I like fashion is because of its ability to push boundaries when it comes to personal expression. Clothes say a lot about a person whether they spend time thinking about it or now. I invest a lot of time into what I wear because I want to. It's not for anyone but me. If I spent time thinking about dressing for other people I'd never leave my house and most of my closet would be Spanx. I have zero for time for that. So whether it's my classic black skirt/purple tights combo, my unintentional Freddy Krueger sweater, or yoga pants, when I get dressed each day I know I'm dressing like me.

Pretty In Pink
Funny Face
Legally Blonde 
The Breakfast Club
The Matchmaker 
Reds
Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael

Lazy Movie Weekend: I'm so very Mary Tyler Moore

I'm in a very 1990s mood these days. I don't know why but I have this very strange desire to return to my teen years and the glory of the 90s. It was a simpler time. There were no smart phones or Facebook or whatever else the kids are using these days. Maybe it's because I'm staring at the end of my 30s (I'll be 37 in June) that I've become nostalgic in a rather maudlin way. That's just one theory; I'm open to others.

How lucky were we that so many amazing, amazingly awful, funny, random movies came out during the decade? This is the decade that gave us Singles, Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption, Fight Club, The Usual Suspects, Clueless, Braveheart, Fargo, Cruel Intentions, and To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar to name a few. I watch To Wong Foo anytime it's on a random cable station because it's genius. It's where I got the phrase "What fresh hell is this" from; thank you Patrick Swayze. Of course it's also the decade also gave us Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, and George Clooney as Batman, the Ace Ventura movies, and Reality Bites. I want to like Reality Bites as an entire movie but I struggle with it a lot. It's like Ben Stiller didn't know if he wanted to make a story about Gen X or a crappy love story or both. His leads, Lelaina (Winona Ryder) and Troy (Ethan Hawke), are so tragically boring it's difficult to not want to smack them both during the movie; his hair is too long and needs to be washed and he's just so tortured; Matt Dillon and hell, Campbell Scott did tortured better in Singles.. Lelaina is so blah it kills me; doily dress aside. I don't care what happens to either of them.

However, Reality Bites introduced me to the great Janeane Garofalo and Steve Zahn. The movie that inspired us all to dance in gas station mini marts and shop at thrift stores also brought us Vickie and Sammy (Janeane and Steve), the true power couple of the film. The movie would have been so much better if Stiller had spent more time on both of these characters; their story arcs are more compelling and they're just more likeable than the other two. I'd love for someone to do a cut of this movie that's only about them. It's only Vickie and Sammy that really make this movie work for me. I know a big part of that is the actors themselves; I've enjoyed both of them in pretty much everything they've been in.
It made me happy that after this movie Garofalo would star in movies like The Truth About Cats & Dogs, Romy & Michele's High School Reunion, Copland, and Mystery Men. My favorite of her films is Wet, Hot American Summer. In some ways we are all Beth. I also appreciate her politics (she's a staunch feminist) and that she tends to play smart, funny, cynical, and awesome women. One of my friends recently called her my spirit animal. I'm not 22 so I don't refer to people that way but I get her point.

My second favorite of her movies is The MatchMaker, an often overlooked gem from 1997. It involves several of my favorite things: a smart female lead, Denis Leary swearing, Irish men, and awkward matchmaking. So grab pint of Guinness and let's gather round for The MatchMaker.

• Do you remember when Denis Leary was in romantic comedies? Yeah, this is at the height of that period in his career. He's best when he's yelling and swearing so this movie is perfect.
• "How could it be a personal call? I don't have a personal life!" We meet Marcy, trying to avoid Denis Leary and not be called into the Senator's office to do something she doesn't want to do. In this case, go to Ireland.
• So a Boston politician wants to look for his Irish roots in a election season. This will go so well. 
• Marcy arrives in Ireland, greeted by a mural of JFK. Throughout the entire rest of the film we'll be treated to random paintings of JFK in every home.
• She makes her way to a town called Ballinagra which, of course, is hosting a matchmaking festival at the exact same time she's there. The town name is a reworking of the Irish 'Baile Na Gra' which means 'Town of Love'. Plot device!
• The soundtrack! Every time I watch this movie all I want to do is listen to Irish music and mid-90s alt rock. You can take a look at the track list here. If you only know Shane MacGowan for "Fairytale of New York", this movie will give you a new song to love. Interestingly, the song "Haunted" was written for the film Sid & Nancy, a completely different love story than what we have here.
• In addition to Denis Leary and Janeane Garofalo, the cast also features character actor and perpetual crossword clue, Milo O'Shea and Maria Doyle Kennedy from the greatest movie about Irish soul singers ever made, The Commitments.
• Dermot's (O'Shea) videos: Dermot is one of the town's matchmakers and throughout the movie, there are little videos of him talking about how to find love and the art of matchmaking. These are some of my favorite parts of the movie. They also make me wonder why we don't rely on matchmakers anymore. Dermot has a lot of really good ideas.
• One of Dermot's clients is an old man who cannot understand why he has to complete a questionnaire about himself. "Bollocks to my favorite color!" Later, there's a bit of dialogue about his favorite animal that's pretty funny.
• The genealogy guy - he's Charlies grandpa in the Tim Burton version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 
• What is with tanning in English and Irish movies? It seems dangerous on so many levels. I get it, there's not a lot of sunshine and warmth but tanning? I don't understand.
• Marcy sets out around town to try to find the Senator's family. She ends up with a pub full of single men who all think she's looking for a husband. Let's make fun of the tourist.
• Marcy to Sean: "Your laughter is really irritating me." I may use this line from now on.
• Senator McGlory to journalists: "I hate you all. When I'm President I'll have you all killed." (from the inside of his limo)
• "Is being an idiot like being high all the time?" Another Marcy gem.
• Of course there's a bet. It wouldn't be a rom-com if there weren't a bet. 
• I like Dermot's theory about how a couple should get clunking heads out of the way early in their relationship. And then Marcy and Sean clunk heads. Foreshadowing.
• The old man in the Aran Islands - this is the type of old person I aspire to be. Cranky, a little crazy, and weird but not scary.
• Am I imagining things or did we have an obsession as a nation with all things Celtic in the 90s? I seem to remember Riverdance and Enya being super popular at this time. I assume that's why this movie even exists.
•  My favorite exchange of the entire film: Sean: You could never live here. Marcy: What makes you say that? Sean: You're a big city kind o' girl. You're-you're Mary Tyler Moore. Marcy: Oh, yes. I am so very Mary Tyler Moore. Everyone says so. Sean: No, but you're- It's like you need to be hooked up to the city otherwise your batteries go flat. Marcy: Okay. So, I'm like a battery operated Mary Tyler Moore? If you flatter me any more I'm gonna have to toss your pale, Irish ass off the side of this boat. 
• Things start to speed up very quickly after the Aran Islands: Marcy discovers Sean's almost ex-wife, the Senator and Denis Leary arrive, and we find out that genealogy guy has a computer. Let's make fun of the tourist.
• Are all houses and businesses unlocked in Ireland? It seems unsafe.
• The movie takes an unexpectedly sad turn towards the end. Dermot's death (this movie is almost 20 years old so shut it about spoilers) serves a "purpose" in the larger movie but it's still sad. I love that in his final moments, he's surrounded by all the happy couples he matched. He's surrounded by love.
  
• Of course Sean's ex, Moira, is a Kennedy. Of course she is. And what could be better than a beautiful Irish woman named Moira Kennedy marrying a Boston senator in an election year?
• Marcy rules. That's really all anyone needs to know. She gets stuff done, she tells Denis Leary what's what, and she gets the guy in the end without changing the things that are great about her. That's what I love most about Marcy; she learns about herself and improves but doesn't become someone else.

If watching this movie doesn't make you want to immediately book a ticket to Ireland, I don't know what's wrong with you. That was my reaction when I saw it in 1997 and that was my reaction when I re-watched it earlier this week. So if anyone needs me to go to Ireland during a matchmaking festival we don't know about and look for your possibly non-existent Irish relatives, give me a call. I'm willing to be that tourist for you.

I leave you with a little Shane MacGowan and Sinead O'Connor. Enjoy!

Coming soon to the Island: It's almost time for Record Store Day! This year I'm taking the show on the road to Richmond to visit record stores and check out the GWAR Bar. Get ready for shenanigans and records - coming at you in two weeks!

Images:

Reality Bites

Dermot&Marcy

Sean&Marcy