Saturday, April 7, 2018

A Cottage by the Sea: Epilogue

I recently finished a book called The Little Cafe in Copenhagen. It's one of the countless rom-com/chick lit books I read while at the gym. I like to rotate between these books, mysteries involving a baker who solves crime with the help of a meddling ghost, and memoirs by former cult members. Sometimes I throw in a biography or historical novel for giggles. Anyway, this particular novel was about a young woman responsible for taking a group of British journalists to Copenhagen to learn about the art of hygge. It's all part of a campaign she's working on, promoting a Danish department store opening in London. The owner believes this group of journalists would benefit from experiencing hygge in person. Along the way, our heroine learns about herself, what she really wants to do with her life, the true meaning of hygge, and of course, she falls in love. It's a very typical example of one of these books with some Danish culture thrown in for good measure. Reading the book made me want to buy some cozy sweaters and drink copious amounts of tea. Oh, and make cinnamon rolls everyday. Imagine what my house would smell like if I made cinnamon rolls everyday.

What I also realized upon completing this book was that it's been a full year, almost to the day, since I declared myself your resident chick-lit heroine in my series A Cottage by the Sea. You can read the original posts here (scroll to the end to start with the first entry). Yes, I celebrated Rex Manning Day as I always do with a viewing of Empire Records, but I was also devastated with the reality of being laid off, dealing with my aunt's death, and generally feeling awful. I felt unmoored, not quite prepared for a job search (although I recovered on this one pretty quickly) and certainly not prepared to be so fucking angry and defeated at the same time. Like a crappy boyfriend or a terrible friend, a toxic work environment eventually gets the best of you and you may not even realize it until you're no longer part of it. That's where I was and it wasn't pretty.

If I think about it now, I was lucky. I found a job relatively quickly (two months) and have an awesome group of friends and a super supportive family who were all there through this. I've been in my new job for about ten months now. This past week, I hosted the "graduation" event for the leadership development program I was hired to manage. Despite a recurring dream about not inviting the CEO to the event (I did, he attended and thoroughly enjoyed the event), it went smoothly. The presentations were successful and the participants seemed to genuinely enjoy the experience despite it being intense and a lot of work. It was satisfying to see the conclusion of something I've worked so hard on go well. Honestly, it's helped me feel more like me. It made me feel more accomplished and capable, something that I wasn't feeling a year ago.

Has it been easy? Absolutely not. It's hard to start a new job. Yes, it's exciting and new, but it's also terrifying and uncomfortable. In my experience, not just with this job, everyone wants to focus on the excitement and the fact that something new is starting. You have to be grateful that you even have a job. These are all true things, but they're also 100% devoid of reality. It's exciting, yes, but it's also stressful and scary. First, there's the new job stuff: learning new responsibilities, new technology, new processes. Then you have to build relationships with team members and other co-workers. Add to all of this navigating the hierarchy of an organization and the politics, which you probably have to figure out on your own, even if your manager is well-meaning and helpful. Everyday is a mix of being vulnerable and confident, making mistakes and being awesome. It's exhausting. Exciting, sure, but exhausting.

Like any chick-lit heroine worth her own series, I've spent the last year thinking a lot about what I want in my life. That's what always happens in these books; the heroine rethinks her life plans, her ambitions, her views on love and family. This year has led me back to my novel (finally wrote a new chapter and have at least two more in progress). I started my creative practice again, mostly with my embroidery projects. I've embraced learning new things, like my upcoming drum lessons and learning to make croissants from scratch. I have a new big goal, which I'm not ready to discuss yet, but it's been forming this last year and I'm excited about making it a reality. It's taken a year, but I finally feel like me again.


Coming soon to the Island: a new Lazy Movie Weekend involving the potato of injustice, I finally make croissants from scratch, and we celebrate Record Store Day 2018! It's going to be an exciting April!

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