Why is your purse so big?

I started working at the National Museum for Women in the Arts last weekend. It's quiet but fun and excellent for people watching. I like having somewhere that I have to be other than work. I work at the information desk answering questions about the museum, handing out maps and generally being nice to people (smiling is sometimes my favorite). Last weekend my favorite visitor comment came from an older gentleman who told me that he "enjoyed the lack of men on horses" in the museum. Good stuff.

Anyway, as I walking to the museum from the Metro on Sunday I noticed a little girl and her mom crossing G Street walking towards me. The little girl was maybe 4 or 5 and was carrying a stuffed green dinosaur. She also had a pink dinosaur purse (stegosaurus I think). Now I love dinosaurs (who doesn't?) and I love purses so the combination of dinosaur and purse was intriguing. I said nothing but I smiled at the girl and her mom and they smiled back. As I was sitting at the information desk a different little girl (7 or 8 maybe) came into the museum with her parents. She also had a purse but it was not dinosaur shaped (it was just a regular purse). She looked like a little lady with her handbag (that went with her outfit). Seeing both of these little girls got me thinking: what do little girls carry in their purses?

I know what I carry in my purse: everything. One of my friends once made a joke that I could probably carry a raccoon in my purse and no one would notice. He's probably right. I've always carried a large purse. There was a time when I was working in theatres that I had an entire sewing kit in my bag and a flashlight. The sewing kit included velcro, multiple pairs of scissors, tape, eyelashes, eyelash glue. There were also some sequins if I remember correctly. I don't carry a huge sewing kit anymore; I've replaced it with a smaller version shaped like a Russian nesting doll. I usually have the following items in my bag:

• between five and nine pens of different types - right now I have more because I just got new pens and I can't decide which ones I want to keep in my bag and which ones stay on my desk (yes, I have problems)
• a notebook
• lip gloss (at least two kinds - normally a Lip Smacker and a real lip gloss)
• other makeup (this varies since I don't wear a ton of makeup so it's usually just a compact)
• gum
• my computer and its accessories (except on weekends)
• an iPod
• a book (or my Kindle)
• an umbrella
• my phone
• tissues
• a business card holder (which may not have any cards in it).

I've read articles over the years about the phenomenon of women and their over-sized bags. Doctors occasionally appear on morning tv shows to discuss the health hazards of caring too much in your bag (many say that your purse shouldn't be more than 10% of your body weight). Obviously your back will hurt if you carry 20 pounds of stuff around with you every day (especially while commuting on Metro). Other experts (some real, some pretend for tv) like discuss the cultural reasons for large purses. This always makes me feel like women are exhibits in zoos and the expert has decided that if he (or she) can figure out why we need large bags, he'll have figured out the mystery of women. Usually this amounts to discussing the caretaker role that most women fill or the idea that women are nurturers. We feel like we need to be prepared for everything and our bag becomes the way to be prepared. To some extent, I know this describes me. I always feel like I have to be the most responsible person in the room so having everything one could possibly need in my bag supports this need completely. Everyone loves Erin Counselor, right? I like being able to provide nine options for a pen when a person asks - I don't know their life so having pen options is important. And the measuring tape in my sewing kit has actually come in handy on more than one occasion.

But what do little girls carry in their purses? I was trying to think of things that I would have put in a person when I was little. Lip Smackers? Gum? Legos? I always had a book and a stuffed animal but those wouldn't have fit in either of the girls' purses I saw on Sunday. What does a six year old need to carry around? I also can't remember what my first purse looked like. I imagine it was pink or yellow and probably had flowers on it. Or maybe a Care Bear. It definitely was not a dinosaur. I do remember a straw purse my dad brought me from Puerto Rico. There was a matching hat too. I remember really liking that purse/hat combo but I don't remember anything I ever put in it.

Maybe even more interesting to think about is when does the large purse phenomenon start? Neither of the little girls I saw on Sunday were carrying large purses. Does it start when you get older and start having more stuff? Does getting a bigger school bag (like a backpack or satchel) help us transition from dainty dino bag to raccoon hotel sized bags? Do we learn it from our mothers? I certainly didn't. My mom doesn't understand my large purse addiction; she carries normal size purses because she can't find anything in a big purse (although she still seems to lose her keys in the small one). Is this just a part of our nature? The Erin Counselor part of me requires that I carry everything all this stuff? Do some of us just gravitate towards large purses while others can get away with a wristlet? I've tried hard to use smaller purses and it usually goes well for about a day. After a day, I start to feel twitchy and constantly think I'm missing something or that I've left my stuff somewhere. Small purses cause anxiety.

I'm also having a hard time getting the dinosaur purse out of my head. Does a dinosaur purse only work if you're five years old and also rocking a pair of little kid sunglasses and a sassy skirt and attitude? Or maybe you have to be an uber-cool art school chick to make it seem like a natural thing to be carrying. I looked online to see if I could find one but came up with nothing that matched the little girl's purse. I did find the awesome Giles Deacon bag in the photo above and several blog posts about it. The bag was from his 2010 line so I'm guessing I won't be able to find one anytime soon. I'm also going to assume that I wouldn't be able to afford it anyway.

So the challenge becomes do I make my own? All I need is a stuffed dinosaur and my sewing kit (the large one that lives on a shelf in my closet). Am I awesome enough to rock a dinosaur purse? After all, a leading lady makes bold fashion choices and needs her options.Wouldn't a dinosaur purse (homemade no less) be the epitome of a bold fashion choice?



Giles Deacon Dinosaur bag photo from http://www.polyvore.com/giles_deacon_dinosaur_bag/thing?id=49293306

You're Doing Everything Wrong: Post-It Note Edition

Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms. 

Joe Fox (Tom Hanks), You've Got Mail

I love school supplies. I haven't been in school for a very long time and don't teach anymore but I can't help myself when it comes to buying school supplies. I love it that Target has already started back to school commercials (although I'm not sure that the song "Push It" is 100% appropriate but whatever) and that the summer stuff has been reduced to one aisle and the school supplies are taking over. Come the end of August I'll go buy some new notebooks, pens, and probably a pack of post-its. Thankfully, I'm not the only one. I had this conversation with two friends this week and they were as excited as me to go buy school supplies. Maybe we'll go shopping together.


If I had to rank my favorite school supplies, post-it notes and Le Pen pens/PaperMate Flair pens would be my top choices. I'm very particular when it comes to pens; Le Pens are elegant and make me want to write letters to everyone. Flairs are like markers without being actual markers. I also like the new line of Sharpie pens (and they don't smell). There's something very satisfying in the way these pens glide across a page. The right pen makes all the difference in the world. If you replaced pencils with any of these pen types, I'd take a bouquet of them any day.

I feel about post-its the way some people feel about duct tape: you can do anything with a post-it. Need wrapping paper but you're at the office? Use post-it notes in an interesting pattern to cover the gift. Brainstorming during a team building activity (because we all have to do this all the time)? Organize your thoughts on a post-it and organize by color. Want to propose to someone? Recreate your life together in post-its (with Sharpie pens) and ask away (PS - this is one of my favorite commercials of all time). You can even prank your office mates with post-its. I also enjoy holiday themed versions and shapes (the stars are the most fun to use). I may make a post-it note Christmas tree this year. I don't really have the floor space for a tree but I do have the wall space.

Anyway, I was wasting time on Buzzfeed (because that's what I do - I'm an inside kid) and I found a post called "25 Clever Classroom Tips for Elementary School Teachers". I have a lot of teacher friends so I checked it out with the idea that I'd share it with them if there was anything good.

Check out #23 - it's the best of the list.

Making your own custom post-its - printing on post-its?! Why didn't I know about this? Why didn't I think of this first? I did a Google search after watching the tutorial and apparently, everyone else on the planet knows about this and is making all sorts of awesome custom post-its. Why didn't y'all tell me? Think of all the fun I could have been having all these years with printing my own post-its. Think of all the fun you could be having with me. I'm sad I didn't know about this when I was teaching high school; I can think of so many projects and lessons I could have used this for with my students (particularly my 9th graders). And I'm sure my custom post-its would have elicited more eye-rolls from both my students and my colleagues. Thinking about what I taught on Friday in my new hire class, I could have used custom post-its for at least two of my activities. My college application processing padlets are pretty sweet and I know everyone looooves my diagrams (we have walls you can draw on in our conference rooms) but imagine what I could do with custom post-its?

I have been doing it wrong when it comes to post-its. I have been wasting valuable post-it time. I have not really used post-its to their full potential.

But no more. I have several staff development sessions coming up in the next few weeks plus August new hire training and at least one of those sessions is going to include some custom post-its. Prepare for the awesome.

You can download the templates mentioned in the tutorial on the ELA Seminars site. There are other versions on the interwebs if you search or you could make your own templates if you're so inclined.

Coming Soon: I always complain that people in the DC area (or the DMV if you prefer) don't take full advantage of all the amazing and fun things there are to do here. (And lots of it is free - what is wrong with everyone?) Since I'm no DC expert myself, I've enlisted several of my friends to plan DC Days for me and I'll document my trips around town here on the Island. DC Days (probably not the name - I'll think of something better) start in August. 

Post-it note tree photo from: http://fashionclassforall.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/diy-post-it-note-christmas-tree/

Wasn't Dylan the surfer?

Well Island readers, it has happened. I have watched Sharknado. And it was glorious.

As I discussed this weekend, I have a special affection for movies like Sharknado. They're not great movies (not even really good movies) but they're entertaining enough and sometimes I need a break from all the seriousness of life and feminism and helping to create the world changers of tomorrow. Sometimes I just want to watch 90210 Steve chainsaw his way out of the belly of a shark.

Let's discuss the entire social media phenomenon that is this movie. There is not built-in fan base for a movie like this. Sure, you might follow SyFy on Twitter (like I do - I like the show "Face Off") and maybe you like previous movies like Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (featuring both Debbie Gibson and Tiffany) or Sharktopus (with the lesser know Roberts sibling, Eric) but I wouldn't classify that as a fan base. Not like the fan base summer blockbusters like Iron Man 3 or Star Trek have. It's not right to assume but I'm going to assume that no one was sitting around saying, "I'd love it if someone made a movie that appealed to my love of sharks, unusual weather phenomena, and stars of the 1990s." This is probably a small demographic of people (although I know you exist out there somewhere and probably have your own tumblr account or maybe a con).

I would have preferred to watch Sharknado with others but I know in my heart of hearts that most of my friends cannot and will not sit through this movie no matter how much I bribe them (homemade cookies! or marshmallows!) or if they've had too much to drink. Pumpkin was disinterested (to say the least). So I tackled Sharknado on my own. I did not have a chainsaw (like 90210 Steve) nor did I have a ingenious idea to stop the sharknadoes. It was just me, my notebook, and my love of the ridiculous.

There are lots of things I absolutely love about Sharknado. Here are the most important things you need to know about Sharknado (And there are "spoilers" - seriously, it's a movie about tornadoes that drop sharks on people. If you don't know how this is going to play out, I can't help you.)

1. The movie begins on a boat somewhere off the coast of Mexico. There are shady dealings on this boat and lots of stereotypes. I like to think that the sharks that attack the boat are really there to exact revenge for the real sharks in the world who are poached and action movie stereotypes. 
2. It's Ian Zerring - Steve from the original cast of Beverly Hills, 90210. He's almost 50 (this will be important in a few minutes) but still looks like he could hang out at the Peach Pit. Although people would probably find him a tad bit creepy. He's the hero/surfer/bar owner of this tale. 
3. Oh John Heard! What happened? You were the hot zoologist in Cat People, the attractive and affable dad in the Home Alone franchise - when did you decide to be the Gary Busey of SyFy movies? At least you saved a lady and her dog with your bar stool before your untimely shark death.
4. Did 90210 Steve just kill a shark with a surfboard?
5. "Sharks don't like vegemite?" 90210 Steve to Baz, his Aussie friend, after Baz is mauled by a shark.
6. Do people in this movie not watch the news? All throughout the movie I kept thinking, "Why was no evacuation plan put in place?" I know the state of California has plans in place for significant events like massive earthquakes so why was nothing put in place? And why was no one watching television? This seems totally weird to me. I mean, I don't expect any governments to have a sharknado plan but I do expect a certain amount of emergency preparedness even in a movie like this. 
7. "Don't forget taco Tuesdays." Maybe they can have shark taco Tuesdays next week. Just saying...
8. For real, a shark was just killed with a pool cue. By a waitress named Nova who has unresolved shark issues. 
9. Please note that the Ferris Wheel at the Santa Monica can kill you if it becomes untethered (unmoored?) during a sharknado. 
10. 90210 Steve and company decide to go to Beverly Hills (ha!) to check on his wife and kids even though he's not really part of the family anymore and Tara Reid (his wife) has a new boyfriend. And his daughter hates him. And his son is in Van Nuys at flight school (also important to the plot). What we need to learn from this is: A. 90210 Steve is a good father. B. He and Tara Reid seem really young to have such old children (he's 49, she's 37 so the math is okay) and C. His family is the worst. He should have just stuck with the waitress, the drunk, and the Australian.
11. And they take the 405! Freeway jokes, in spite of sharknadoes, are the best.
12. "There are sharks out there. You don't have to go out there." John Heard (before his epic death scene)
13. "By the way, I'm not a stripper." Nova (who's name is actually Jenny) I can't blame Tara Reid for thinking this at the start but clearly Nova is here to fall in love with Tara's flight school attending son so she and 90210 Steve can get back together at the end of the movie. Don't you watch movies ever?
14. If anyone has a definitive list of all the ways sharks are killed in this movie, I would love to see it. I counted surfboard, pool cue, gun, bookcase, gun, and bomb. I'm sure I missed a few along the way. There was a lot going on.
15. 90210 Steve, Tara, and their daughter - is this really the best time to discuss his involvement in your lives? There are sharks swimming in your living room and your boyfriend (Tara Reid) was just eaten. Get the eff out of your house now. 
16. Also, why is Tara Reid wearing a white sweater? And why did it never look dirty? She waded through bloody water at one point. The sweater should not be that white anymore.
17. Is 90210 Steve really repelling down a bridge to save children from a bus in shark infested waters? 
18. "I hate sharks. I'm from Wyoming." The bus driver/actor before his meets his untimely death in the most ironic yet saw it coming moment of the movie (so it's probably not really ironic at all).
19. How long do sharks live outside of water?
20. Government paranoia is rampant in this movie. The liquor store guy even claims that they know what kind of cheese he likes. And the sharknado was caused by global warming. 
21. I know understand why celebrities and the very wealthy drive Hummers.
22. Best dialogue: Nova: Why is there a retirement home next to an airport? Claudia (90210 Steve's daughter): Because old people can't hear.
23. Let's talk science for a moment: I know very little about the science of tornadoes let alone sharknadoes but I am certain that dropping bombs into the tornadoes from a helicopter will not "equalize" the tornado and cause it to disappear. And real talk, wouldn't that just mean the sharks would fall to the ground faster and kill more people? Did we really think this through?
24. Sharks killed Nova/Jenny's grandpa. So sure, she's game to throw bombs into a tornado from a helicopter flown by a dude she just met who isn't really a pilot. And she also likes him.
25. The shark vs. chainsaw scene is epic and awesome as a stand alone scene but honestly is even better within the action of the movie. You should really watch the build up to this scene to really get the weight of what just happened. 
26. "I really hate sharks." Nova. The sun comes up, the family is reunited, Nova has a new boyfriend (probably), and improbable activities stop improbable weather. And L.A. goes back to having to just worry about earthquakes.

There you have it - everything you need to know about Sharknado but were afraid to ask. I hope I didn't ruin it for you. Did I enjoy this movie? Absolutely. It was everything I expected from a movie called Sharknado and more. Will I watch it again? Only with a group of friends, some wine, and my suspension of disbelief firmly in place.

Because sharks and tornadoes

I loved the tv show Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K for us cool kids). Comedy Central ran the show when I was in high school and the Sci-Fi Channel (before their re-branding as SyFy) ran it for three seasons after that. The show was awesome: an evil scientist traps a guy and some robot sidekicks in space and they have to watch really terrible movies (you know for science). Instead of just watching them, they add their own commentary to the movie. Joel, the guy (and later Mike), Crow, Tom Servo, and Gypsy were the freaking best. It's because of MST3K that I've seen Steve Reeves movies, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Cave Dwellers, and Zombie Nightmare. I think that Lazy Movie Weekend is my blog version of MST3K. Anyone who has ever watched a movie with me (particularly one I love) knows that this is what I do when I watch movies. I can't help myself. I blame Tom Servo.

I have an affection for terrible movies like some people have affection for hedgehogs or superheroes. Seriously, I wrote an entire post about Xanadu. I don't understand why people don't like that movie - it's amazing (and awful all at the same time). MST3K wasn't my only source for B movies. There was also Morgus on tv in New Orleans (a fantastic mad scientist played by Sid Noel Rideau). Before the USA network decided to run NCIS marathons all the time, it was the home of Up All Night and marathons of terrible movies like the Swamp Thing movies or Troll 2 or any creature feature made in the 50s and 60s. And WGN out of Chicago (that everyone seems to have with cable), ran the classic Universal creature features like Dracula, The Mummy, and Frankenstein. These are not scary movies - there's a certain amount of creepiness in many of them and certainly some of the most inventive uses of low budget special effects out there but they're fairly tame movies in terms of the creep factor. One of my favorite parts of watching these movies was to try to spot where the costume didn't quite make it to the end of an actor's arm or cover their entire neck. Most of these movies are thin on plot, big on horrible dialogue, and always have a fairly attractive cast that's put into some kind of peril or has to save the world from radioactive, giant spiders (or ants) or robots. There's always a neat resolution at the end where the scientist character tells the remaining characters (and us) how the giant spider came to be or how the robots rose up and took over. I loved them as a teenager and I love them now. I honed my suspension of disbelief skills by watching these movies. I feel like this skill helps me most when I watch romantic comedies.

Anyway, I was at a work event in Florida this week so I've basically been out of the loop on everything since Monday. I happen to love this particular work event but I also miss sunshine and sleeping. My flight was delayed so I didn't get home until close to 1 am (and I got up and went to work on Friday because I'm a boss). I was traveling with Kyli, a friend and fellow trainer. Kyli and I are have similar travel styles so despite our delay and other people's inability to navigate airports and maybe the rudest person I've ever encountered at an airport Starbucks, we managed to have a good time and a few laughs along the way. At one point, Kyli was looking through her Facebook newsfeed and saw all these posts about sharknadoes. Neither of us had any idea what anyone was talking about.

We missed out on the greatest movie event ever - SyFy's Sharknado.

When she first said it, I couldn't decide if Kyli was talking about some kind of massive shark death somewhere, something related to Shark Week, or an obscure weather phenomenon. I mean, no one knew what a derecho was until two years ago so why not a sharknado? I was also very tired so I also thought I might have misheard her. Kyli looked up "sharknado" on Google and we discovered that it's a movie about sharks being sucked into tornadoes and then being dropped out of the sky where they promptly eat people. Or are killed by Steve from Beverly Hills, 90210. The Twitter comments I saw last night were awesome - Mia Farrow was even watching. Sharknado owned social media in a way that Hollywood blockbusters only dream about. I think this review just about sums it up.

I'm not entirely sure where to start with the idea behind Sharknado and you know what? It doesn't matter. Movies (and books and tv shows) are there to help us escape from the dailiness of our lives. Had a bad day? Watch Waiting for Guffman or Tommy Boy because if Corky and fat guy in a little coat don't make you laugh than you have no soul. Break up with your boyfriend? Music & Lyrics or Say Anything both work. You'll cry but you'll also laugh and a little bit of your faith in love will be restored. Need to prepare for the impending zombie apocalypse? Simon Pegg's got you covered; Shaun of the Dead is really the only zombie prep movie you need to watch.

I've had a long week of presenting, standing for long periods of time, and smiling a lot (smiling is not always my favorite) so going home to watch Sharknado would have been the ideal activity for me to do. But Sharknado is not on again until Thursday. I'm not entirely sure what I will do with my time between now and then. Thanks to Kyli, I have lots of Buzzfeed articles to keep me entertained.

I have seen the only part of the movie that probably matters: the shark versus 90210 Steve and his chainsaw. It is exactly what I expected from a movie called Sharknado starring Tara Reid, 90210 Steve, and John Heard (who was in an equally terrible movie in the 80s called Cat People - it may get its on LMW treatment at some point). Please let there be a sequel.

Warning: this is a little gross so maybe don't watch it if you're eating breakfast or something that is red. Or you don't like the use of chainsaws in unexpected ways.  UPDATE: Apparently the video below has been removed. You can watch the scene over on SyFy's official movie page.

All we need now is Joel, the bots, and some popcorn.

Life would be easier if it were a muscial

Every now and then I find myself having a conversation with someone that somehow finds its way to a discussion about theatre, specifically musicals. I love it when the other person is a fan of musicals because then we can discuss our favorite live performances, original cast recordings, and Tony performances. I really luck out when the person also majored in theatre and we can further our discussion by diving into costume design and lighting as a vehicle for theme or something terribly theatre major of us. And of course, envisioning ourselves in our own musical numbers. I like to think that I'd be in some sort of Thoroughly Modern Millie number like "Thoroughly Modern Millie" (Julie Andrews style funny/awkward or Sutton Foster style dance-y/sweet) or maybe something from Pippin (I'm thinking "Kind of Woman") or Rent if I'm feeling artisty and defiant.

Obviously, life is not a musical. If it were, I would have to dance in public for no real reason except that there's a song in my heart and a music cue, sing on key, and wear heels the majority of the time. I'd have the perfect leading lady retort for everything. All would be resolved by the end of the second act with a huge production number including several quick changes. We would also all pretend like the majority of Oscar and Hammerstein musicals are not about horrible people (because they are).

Anyway, I was watching the movie version of Annie this week and realized it was time to check in on my progress with this year's goal. I'm not entirely sure why Annie made me think of this but it did. I'm guessing it's because Annie was the first musical I loved and Annie is the original sassy leading lady of my childhood (although she's like eleven years old). And Ann Reinking always.

My goal for the year, of course, is the be the leading lady of my life. Inspired by Iris from the movie The Holiday and tired of always being the best friend, I decided that this was the year of me. Being me, I also needed ways to quantify progress so I came up with this list as a way to figure out if I was actually doing it:

• Get involved in volunteering again
• Take a dance class (maybe tap or ballroom just because)
• Go to Paris 
• Be the instigator of plans 
• Allow my friends to set me up on blind dates (I mean, why not?)
• Be more spontaneous (I'm not sure how one quantifies this but that may be the point)
• Be more daring in my fashion choices and dress like a leading lady

So what have I actually accomplished?

COMPLETED:

• Volunteering: VEV (Visitor Experience Volunteer) training for the National Museum of Women in the Arts starts on Saturday. I applied and was accepted into the volunteer program in February but we're only now getting to start training. However, unlike every other museum I've ever volunteered for, the training is only a day and a half instead of a month or more. I will be an official volunteer by the end of the day this Sunday. Come visit me and enjoy NMWA!
• Paris: Contrary to some discussions prior to the trip, I did not fall in love with a French guy and decide to move to Paris nor did I get taken and need Liam Neeson to save the day. You can read all about my adventures in Paris if you'd like. Friends have been asking what my favorite part was and I can honestly say it was Père Lachaise. Weird I know, but the truth. Also, pictures of me exist from this trip that I actually like. That never happens.

IN PROGRESS:

• Instigating plans: Well, I'm not going to say that I've been planning parties and going out every night because that would be a lie. But I have expanded my social circle and am doing more with different groups of friends. I'm in album club which is super fun (more on this in a future post). June was a jam-packed social extravaganza kind of month. I can do better in this area and I will continue to do more and hopefully regain some of my planner/hostess ways from when I was living in New Orleans (I used to throw great dinner parties - I don't really have the space anymore. Sad.) Maybe I need to find a friend who has the space and volunteer to plan a dinner party at their house. This could be a great idea.
• Fashion: This is never really going to be done but I feel like I've been more daring and more willing to try new fashion just to do it. I wear the purple skinny jeans frequently, I've been wearing skirts and dresses like a boss, and I bought a neon striped shirt while in Paris that I adore (and I can't stand neon as a fashion trend). I'm trying to mix up my work week wardrobe to include less jeans and tees days and more "I'm a professional, I promise" days. And I shop my closet. I love doing this. I have a lot of great stuff in my closet that I forgot about and it's all coming in handy these days. 
• Spontaneity: I'm not entirely sure how to measure spontaneity but I'm rather proud of myself for not over-planning my trip to Paris. While I wouldn't say that I was particularly spontaneous, it was a pretty dramatic departure for me and I think that's progress. I don't know about this one - any thoughts on how a person can be more spontaneous when they're really more of a planner? Do I have to become like Jim Carrey in Yes Man? I really don't want to learn how to play "Jumper" (even though this scene is pretty great) or get in a bar fight.

NOT STARTED:

• Taking a class: I have done nothing at all to begin this. I was thinking dance classes or yoga but haven't been motivated enough to look for a class that's a right fit for me. I'm also considering taking some cooking classes or language classes. My mom wants to take art classes (like jewelry making) so I'm maybe I'll find something that she and I can do together and that will get me in the class-taking mood.
• Dating: I will go with epic fail on this one (for now). I applaud my friends who are diving into the online dating pool and managing it like champs - just watch out for jerks and wastes of time. I had a miserable experience with online dating the year I turned 30 (one of those things I did that year to enter my thirties in a bold, adventurous way) so I'm very hesitant to try again. Actually, the prospect of it makes me a little hive-y even with the idea that I could make it a regular feature on the Island (Erin's Date of the Week - a suggestion from one on my friends who is contemplating something similar). This one has me stumped. Of the seven items on my list, I think this one is the hardest to make progress on and I'm not really sure why. I'm guessing it's because love and the prospect of love makes us all act like absolute morons. It would be so much better if we were all still in middle school and could rely on the "do you like" me notes and our friends to do the work for us. This is probably the only time I will ever say it would be cool to go back to middle school.

Despite not even starting two of the items on the list, I feel like progress is being made. That's really what's important. I'm open to suggestions for those things that I haven't started or are still in progress. Or volunteers to be my class buddy or someone to write my online dating profile (if I decide to take that leap again - blah).

And the great thing? There's still time - I have until December 31 (about 180 days). What can I accomplish in 180 days?

Cue the musical number.

All videos from youtube.com.

Au revoir Paris

I'm home! Pumpkin and I returned to Arlington this afternoon and have had quite the productive day. I've done laundry, unpacked, and went to the grocery. I even made an actual dinner for myself tonight instead of ordering something. And I still have one more day of vacation.

I'm sure some of my friends will be disappointed that I didn't marry a Frenchmen and move to Paris but I didn't because that is not how real life works. I did have an amazing trip and realize that I am very lucky to have been able to go at all. I thought I'd wrap up these posts with some advice for future Paris travelers. People will give you a lot of advice on what to see and where to go to dinner or where you can find the perfect cup of coffee but no one will tell you how to ask for insect bite cream at the pharmacy. And you will need to do this and will not have your handy phrasebook with you.

1. I don't care what anyone tells you - bring tennis shoes. Parisians wear tennis shoes - they're people not alien beings from the Planet Fashion (well not all the time). Tennis shoes are not what will signal the fact that you are a tourist and seriously, you are so let it go. I brought a pair and it was awesome. I also had flats and comfy sandals all of which were fine. Regardless of the shoes, your feet will still hurt. It's all the cobblestones and the inordinate amount of walking you will do. And the 101 steps to your apartment.
2. Rent an apartment! I'm so glad that I listened to a friend's advice on this one. It was a great experience and I would rent from this person again. Try airbnb.com or housetrip.com to find a place. Make sure it has wifi - this was super helpful for staying in touch and for figuring out how to get to wherever I decided to go the next day. I liked mon petit studio in all it's oldness and oddness and massive amounts of stairs. That might not be your taste but I'm sure you'll find something you like in a neighborhood you'll enjoy for a price you can afford.
3. Pack options because you never know if the weather will actually cooperate. I packed mostly skirts and dresses but it ended up being much colder than it normally is in Paris in June. Luckily, I packed pants so it wasn't terrible. I would also include a light jacket or a sweater.
4. Wear a scarf. Seriously, just embrace this and do it already. You'll look really nice and vaguely European.
5. Drink wine at lunch and champagne at the summit of the Eiffel Tower. Linger at cafes - the people watching is extraordinary.
6. Bring a tote bag - I don't know why I didn't think of this when I was packing since I have on other trips. I ended up buying one. I could carry my umbrella, a bottle of water, Le Navigateur, and anything I bought while out (like bread and cheese). Plastic bags cost extra at some stores and there's also the "you don't have your own bag?" look that I'm not really fond of in any country.
7. A smartphone that isn't dumb outside of the US. Curses to you, Sprint clerk who told me my phone would be fine. You are a liar. I still made it everywhere without my phone map and I'm sure everyone would have hated my check-ins (because the blog posts and photos weren't annoying enough I'm sure). The pay as you go phone I borrowed worked fine for what I needed (calling the shuttle driver and my mom) so that's cool.
8. Plan a bit. If you want to go to the Eiffel Tower, purchase your ticket in advance so you don't have to wait in the longest line ever. I would say the same for any of the museums (I wasted a ton of time in line at the Louvre). Also, if you plan to take Metro either buy a pass or a book of tickets. Both will save you time. But remember this: you are there to enjoy yourself. Slow the pace a bit and do that. You cannot see everything.
9. Make sure you have a reliable map. I had one from a Lonely Planet guidebook that was perfect for where I was going but had I wanted to spend time in other parts of the city, I probably would have needed something with a bit more detail. 
10. Bring an umbrella. 
11. If you're like me and decide to travel alone, try to have a few conversations with random people in cafes or in line. I enjoyed my random conversations with people through the week and it definitely helps you feel less like you're by yourself. Some people find American accents charming. Along the same route, either ask people to take your picture or develop the skill of taking a decent selfie (even if you normally dislike the practice).
12. If you don't speak French fluently (or at all), at least try to learn a few phrases to get a conversation started. Knowing how to greet someone, say thank, and ask if they know English goes a long way. English tops the list of languages spoken and being learned in France so you'll probably be okay in most places but it's always more polite to try, mangled accent and all.
13. If at a pharmacy and you see a box for "une piqûre d'insectes", you have found the insect bite cream. In my case, it was a clear liquid that created a bandage-like covering on my arm that resembled dried glue. Effective but weird looking and a little smelly.
14. Have dessert and embrace carbs. You can't pass up the bread - it would be wrong and will make the bread sad. You're going to walk everywhere so don't worry about it.
15. Be a tourist. Enjoy the fact that you are visiting a truly magical city with more history on one street than any of us will experience in our entire lives. Be in awe of it and appreciate it because you might not get to visit again.

Because I want you to be prepared.

 See you next week Island readers!

Yes, I went to Paris and bought a scarf

Today is my last day in Paris. Of course, it's also the day that I feel less tired and my feet aren't planning to somehow secede from the rest of my body. Isn't that always how the last day of a vacation works?

While I may not sport the latest designer fashions, I've always been an ardent follower of the major design houses, particularly Chanel. I remember receiving a bottle of Chanel No. 5 for a birthday present in my teens. The box was one of the Andy Warhol prints (I think I still have it somewhere). It was quite a jump from Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth perfume to Chanel No. 5 but that's the kind of girl that I am. When I graduated from high school my family took a trip to New York to see Rent (original cast y'all) and we made a stop at the Chanel store there. It was amazing.

I walked by several of the Chanel stores while here but didn't go in mostly because I'm certain that I looked like I had been walking around Paris all day and was not feeling the least bit fashionable. So how did I begin my last day in Paris? By visiting one of Coco Chanel's old haunts, Angelina. I had read about Angelina years ago in a biography of Chanel and then it came back up more recently as I read Paris, My Sweet: A Year in the City of Light (and Dark Chocolate) by Amy Thomas. Thomas spent a year living in Paris and wrote about her visits to patisseries and boulangeries around the city. I recommend it to anyone interested in planning a trip to Paris based solely on eating sweets and bread.

The specialty of the house, le chocolat chaud l’Africain, is amazing. It's a rich, dark chocolate served in a small pot with whipped cream. It's heavenly. I also enjoyed some pastries with Angelina's mountain honey and strawberry jam. If you ever visit Angelina's make sure to have a croissant with honey. It's perfection. The tea room itself is the exact opposite of Coco Chanel's aesthetic - it's ornate with pastel murals and chandeliers. But elegant like Chanel. I'm glad that I got there when I did (early in the morning); when I walked by later it was packed and there was a long line.

After finishing breakfast, I continued walking down Rue de Rivoli past shops selling berets and miniature Eiffel Towers. It's been much colder than I anticipated so I broke down and bought a scarf. Actually, I bought three (one is a gift). I don't get scarves. I'm fine with them in the winter but I don't get the scarf as just an accessory (which is why I can never live in Paris I guess). Yesterday at breakfast, I was chatting with an Australian couple who was also not prepared for the cold weather. The husband was conflicted about the scarf his wife bought him. He felt his friends back home would laugh at him for wearing it. His wife argued that as long as he was warm what did it matter? He then proceeded to tell me about how she also made him buy a shoulder bag (he called it his "man bag") and that he couldn't wear the scarf and the bag at the same time. They were hilarious. I hope they enjoyed the Louvre (where they were headed for the day).

I don't really know how to wear a scarf but I was cold and honestly, the scarf helped. I may just start wearing the pink scarf randomly just to wear it. I tied it a few different ways but ended up settling with the wrap around and loose tie to keep it in place. I'm supposed to be embracing new fashion choices so maybe the scarf is my new thing. I can't say for certain but I'm willing to try it again when I get home.

I did some shopping along the way to take a boat cruise of the Seine. I'm not the best souvenir shopper but I'm hoping that everyone will like what I got them. I figured there's always shopping at the airport tomorrow too. I decided to skip Versailles this time and take the boat cruise instead (this just means I have to come back to go to Versailles - genius on my part). The cruise was a nice leisurely cruise that stopped at several key spots along the Seine if you wanted to disembark. I took some additional pictures from the boat and just enjoyed the quiet tour (you know, quiet for a boat full of tourists). I was able to sit inside for the cruise which was a really good choice. I had seen some of the sights along the route earlier in the week but not the areas between Saint-Germain-des-Prés and Hôtel de Ville. I did the full loop once and then went back to the stop near the Louvre so I could visit my last stop of the afternoon.

I've stopped in several parks and gardens this week. That's something else I love about Paris - there are so many parks (and some are right off super busy streets but you don't notice the traffic once you're inside). Le Jardin des Tuileries (Tuileres Garden) is located between the Louvre and the Place de la Concorde. It was once a royal garden (remember the Louvre was actually a palace) and became a public park after the French Revolution. From the center, you can see all the way to the Arc de Triomphe. Had it been nicer out today, I probably would have stayed longer than I did. As I started walking back to the Metro, it started pouring again. Luckily, I was under a covered walkway and decided to stop at a cafe for a bit. I had a nice chat with some Americans in Paris on business. They were so excited to hear an American accent! We discussed our attempts at French (horrifying on all sides) and how traveling for work is not that much fun. I think they were a bit envious that I was here on holiday. They're off to Italy and the UK next.

I made it back to le petit studio before the skies opened up again. I'm hoping that by the time I finish packing the rain will have stopped and I can go out for a nice dinner and enjoy my final night in Paris.