Saturday, July 13, 2013

Because sharks and tornadoes

I loved the tv show Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K for us cool kids). Comedy Central ran the show when I was in high school and the Sci-Fi Channel (before their re-branding as SyFy) ran it for three seasons after that. The show was awesome: an evil scientist traps a guy and some robot sidekicks in space and they have to watch really terrible movies (you know for science). Instead of just watching them, they add their own commentary to the movie. Joel, the guy (and later Mike), Crow, Tom Servo, and Gypsy were the freaking best. It's because of MST3K that I've seen Steve Reeves movies, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Cave Dwellers, and Zombie Nightmare. I think that Lazy Movie Weekend is my blog version of MST3K. Anyone who has ever watched a movie with me (particularly one I love) knows that this is what I do when I watch movies. I can't help myself. I blame Tom Servo.

I have an affection for terrible movies like some people have affection for hedgehogs or superheroes. Seriously, I wrote an entire post about Xanadu. I don't understand why people don't like that movie - it's amazing (and awful all at the same time). MST3K wasn't my only source for B movies. There was also Morgus on tv in New Orleans (a fantastic mad scientist played by Sid Noel Rideau). Before the USA network decided to run NCIS marathons all the time, it was the home of Up All Night and marathons of terrible movies like the Swamp Thing movies or Troll 2 or any creature feature made in the 50s and 60s. And WGN out of Chicago (that everyone seems to have with cable), ran the classic Universal creature features like Dracula, The Mummy, and Frankenstein. These are not scary movies - there's a certain amount of creepiness in many of them and certainly some of the most inventive uses of low budget special effects out there but they're fairly tame movies in terms of the creep factor. One of my favorite parts of watching these movies was to try to spot where the costume didn't quite make it to the end of an actor's arm or cover their entire neck. Most of these movies are thin on plot, big on horrible dialogue, and always have a fairly attractive cast that's put into some kind of peril or has to save the world from radioactive, giant spiders (or ants) or robots. There's always a neat resolution at the end where the scientist character tells the remaining characters (and us) how the giant spider came to be or how the robots rose up and took over. I loved them as a teenager and I love them now. I honed my suspension of disbelief skills by watching these movies. I feel like this skill helps me most when I watch romantic comedies.

Anyway, I was at a work event in Florida this week so I've basically been out of the loop on everything since Monday. I happen to love this particular work event but I also miss sunshine and sleeping. My flight was delayed so I didn't get home until close to 1 am (and I got up and went to work on Friday because I'm a boss). I was traveling with Kyli, a friend and fellow trainer. Kyli and I are have similar travel styles so despite our delay and other people's inability to navigate airports and maybe the rudest person I've ever encountered at an airport Starbucks, we managed to have a good time and a few laughs along the way. At one point, Kyli was looking through her Facebook newsfeed and saw all these posts about sharknadoes. Neither of us had any idea what anyone was talking about.

We missed out on the greatest movie event ever - SyFy's Sharknado.

When she first said it, I couldn't decide if Kyli was talking about some kind of massive shark death somewhere, something related to Shark Week, or an obscure weather phenomenon. I mean, no one knew what a derecho was until two years ago so why not a sharknado? I was also very tired so I also thought I might have misheard her. Kyli looked up "sharknado" on Google and we discovered that it's a movie about sharks being sucked into tornadoes and then being dropped out of the sky where they promptly eat people. Or are killed by Steve from Beverly Hills, 90210. The Twitter comments I saw last night were awesome - Mia Farrow was even watching. Sharknado owned social media in a way that Hollywood blockbusters only dream about. I think this review just about sums it up.

I'm not entirely sure where to start with the idea behind Sharknado and you know what? It doesn't matter. Movies (and books and tv shows) are there to help us escape from the dailiness of our lives. Had a bad day? Watch Waiting for Guffman or Tommy Boy because if Corky and fat guy in a little coat don't make you laugh than you have no soul. Break up with your boyfriend? Music & Lyrics or Say Anything both work. You'll cry but you'll also laugh and a little bit of your faith in love will be restored. Need to prepare for the impending zombie apocalypse? Simon Pegg's got you covered; Shaun of the Dead is really the only zombie prep movie you need to watch.

I've had a long week of presenting, standing for long periods of time, and smiling a lot (smiling is not always my favorite) so going home to watch Sharknado would have been the ideal activity for me to do. But Sharknado is not on again until Thursday. I'm not entirely sure what I will do with my time between now and then. Thanks to Kyli, I have lots of Buzzfeed articles to keep me entertained.

I have seen the only part of the movie that probably matters: the shark versus 90210 Steve and his chainsaw. It is exactly what I expected from a movie called Sharknado starring Tara Reid, 90210 Steve, and John Heard (who was in an equally terrible movie in the 80s called Cat People - it may get its on LMW treatment at some point). Please let there be a sequel.

Warning: this is a little gross so maybe don't watch it if you're eating breakfast or something that is red. Or you don't like the use of chainsaws in unexpected ways.  UPDATE: Apparently the video below has been removed. You can watch the scene over on SyFy's official movie page.

All we need now is Joel, the bots, and some popcorn.

1 comment:

  1. More from Buzzfeed: