Lazy Movie Weekend: The Potato of Injustice

 "Friends, there comes a time in every man's life when he has to look the potato of injustice right in the eye. There's a powerful evil force in the universe that lives at Channel 8 and I've seen it. And I don't want to go pop its ugly greasy head around here. Do you?"

-Stanley Spadowski, UHF

Fighting the man is exhausting. No matter where you are in your activist/"Damn the Man, Save the Empire" journey, I'm sure you can appreciate this statement. There was a time when we could gather our rag-tag group of friends or loosely connected compatriots, turn on our moxie and can-do attitudes, and save whatever needed saving. We didn't need to be superheroes, gods of thunder, or really, really attractive people who are also assassins in order to make this happen. (No, I haven't seen Avengers: Infinity War yet. I'm seeing it on Tuesday. Don't ruin things for me.) Back in that magical time before our movies involved multiple heroes named Chris, we could throw in some break dancing or maybe get Demi Moore to sing awkwardly in a dive bar to save what needed saving. I miss these times and today, I'm here to bring these moments back to you.

Since we haven't had a movie marathon in a while, I thought we'd kick off spring (it's spring, right?) with a marathon. Grab your favorite spatula, some day-glo crop tops, and as much wine as you need to sustain yourself through "The Potato of Injustice" Movie Marathon. Thanks to everyone on Facebook who suggested movies for this marathon. Alas, they were not all selected. Sometimes the potato of injustice limits the choices we have. Enjoy!

• UHF (1989): If you've not seen this classic Weird Al movie, stop what you're doing right now and watch it. Not only is UHF the reason we know about the potato of injustice, it also gives us the genius that is Spatula City, Fran Drescher pre-The Nanny, and Victoria Jackson before she got all hateful. Weird Al stars as George Newman, an unemployed guy who takes over managing his uncle's UHF tv station. With the station, he inherits a weird tech guy (played by the guy famous for being Luke on General Hospital), a bunch of bizarro shows that make absolute sense in the world of this movie, and Stanley Spadowski, a janitor turned kids' show host. Of course, the station takes off and causes the local network station manager to try to ruin everything that is good and right with Channel 62. In the end, this band of zany folks band together to save the station in a plot that involves a telethon, a bookie, and a homeless guy who collects rare coins. Despite my aversion to Michael Richards, the "potato of injustice" monologue is one of my favorite movie moments of 1989. 
• Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984): I don't know about you, but I'm certain we can solve all the problems in the world with break dancing. I'm not sure what the rules would be to say, get the US back into the Paris Accords through the magic of break dance, but I'm pretty sure it could be accomplished. In Breakin' 2, we rejoin Kelly, Ozone, and Turbo on their quest to bring break dancing and joy to everyone they meet while wearing crop tops, ridiculously large pants, and questionable hats. Kelly has returned to LA and her dancing partners as they struggle to keep a community center from being bulldozed and turned into a mall. We get to witness a break dance fight (it's amazing), Kelly's very wealthy, very white parents becoming her biggest break dance fans, an unnecessary scene involving dancing on the ceiling, and so much friendship. One of my favorite things about this movie is Ice-T, making a fashion statement with his S&M inspired club wear. There is so much neon in the finale sequence of this movie, I'm pretty certain the evil developer would have given in eventually just to get a break from all the neon green. Fun fact: the singer Martika, of "Toy Soldier" fame, is a dancer in this movie. 
• The Goonies (1985): What's not to love about The Goonies? A Corey, a young Josh Brolin and Sean Astin, a delightful Martha Plimpton, pirates, Sloth, and buried treasure - this movie has everything. "The Goonies" are facing foreclosure on their homes so they set off to find the lost treasure of a pirate named One-Eyed Willy, hoping to use the treasure to save their homes. Along the way they tangle with the rich kids, developers, and a criminal family headed by Mama Fratelli, played by Anne Ramsey. We learn how to do the Truffle Shuffle and are treated to a theme song by Cyndia Lauper (the video features 80s era wrestlers and the cast of the movie). In the end, the Goonies save the day and One-Eyed Willy gets to set sail once again.
• Empire Records (1995): This is one of my favorite movies of all time. I watch it at least once a year on or about April 8 in honor of Rex Manning Day. When an employee, Lucas, finds out that the owner of Empire Records is about to sell it to Music Town, he does what any loyal employee would do: he takes the day's money, goes to Atlantic City, and tries to double the money so he can save Empire. Things do not go as Lucas plans. The rest of the movie follows the store employees through a day of shop lifters, fake funerals, Rex Manning and his terrible hair, love, revealing uniforms, a rooftop concert, and other antics. Not only do the helpful staff at Empire stick it to Mitchell (the man), they also rid the store of Rex Manning and help us all appreciate the musical genius of The The.
• Big Night (1996): This may not seem like it belongs on this list, but hear me out. The movie takes place in the 1950s on the Jersey Shore. Two Italian brothers, Primo and Secondo (Tony Shalhoub and Stanley Tucci), are trying to make a success of their failing restaurant. Despite Primo's amazing cooking, the brothers aren't realizing the American dream. Another restaurant owner, Pascal, promises to bring Louis Prima to their restaurant for a very special dinner rather than giving Secondo a loan. The brothers, along with their waiter (played by an almost silent Marc Anthony), their friends, and Secondo's girlfriend, Phyllis, put together a night no one will forget. Did I mention Secondo is sleeping with Pascal's wife? Does Louis Prima show up? I can't tell you that. Do you want to eat all the pasta ever and wish we all still dressed like this? Absolutely. Are Primo and Secondo the underdogs who prove they're better than Pascal will ever be? Pretty much. 
• One Crazy Summer (1986): I will never, ever get over my love of John Cusack. Not only was he adorable in his earliest movies like this gem from his collaboration with Savage Steve Holland, he aged into the greatest assassin who attends his high school reunion we could ever want. In One Crazy Summer, Cusack plays Hoops, a lovable loser who spends a summer in Nantucket with his lovable loser friends. They meet Cassandra, played by Demi Moore, a down on her luck singer, on her way to take care of family on the island. Cassandra's grandfather dies and his house is taken over by the island's wealthiest family, the Beckersteads. Hoops joins forces with the Stork twins (Bobcat Goldthwait is one of the twins), Ack-Ack (Curtis Armstrong), and his buddy George and George's sister, to save the house. Their plan involves Cassandra singing in a dive bar and a regatta, even though Hoops doesn't like boats. This movie is the very definition of rag-tag band of losers with a can-do attitude winning the day. Come for John Cusack. Stay for literally everything else that happens in this movie. 
• The Legend of Billie Jean (1985): At the heart of this movie is the idea that adults don't listen to teenagers. When Billie Jean and her brother report bullying and vandalism, the local sheriff dismisses them, telling the teens to just wait it out. Of course, things escalate quickly after Billie Jean is threatened and her brother shots and injures the man who threatened her. They go on the run, and Billie Jean becomes a folk hero after demanding justice for herself and her brother. Not only is Helen Slater's haircut iconic, but the movie featured the theme song "Invincible" by Pat Benatar. If you don't want to be Helen Slater at the end of this movie, I can't help you. 
• Sing (1989): This is one of those odd movies that I used to watch all the time when I was younger. It's not particularly good, but it's not really bad either. Our heroine, Hannah, is trying to finish her senior year of high school in her Brooklyn neighborhood. The neighborhood is in decline and Hannah's family is struggling to keep their diner open. The annual SING! competition is the only thing keeping anyone's spirits up. It helps that Patti LaBelle is one of the teachers. Anyway, bad boy Dominic tangles with Hannah and new teacher Miss Lomardo (Lorraine Bracco) before landing the lead role in the senior's SING! contribution. The school district decides to shut down the school and cancel the competition. Of course, that can't happen and everyone bands together to make the final SING! show happen. If the final song doesn't get you, Hannah's speech will.

Remember, the potato of injustice takes many forms. Hopefully, these movies show you how to look the potato of injustice in the eye and tell it you're not going to take it anymore. Damn the Man! Save the Empire!

Next weekend: It's the Misfit Toys Road Trip 2018! I'm heading to Memphis to see the Foo Fighters, visit Graceland, and see if I can find any Big Star sights along the way.

Stuff I Love: Mandatory Fun

It's February! Is everyone excited? February brings us many things: groundhogs, a holiday about love, and the promise of getting closer to the end of winter. This year we're even treated to a leap year - a whole extra day to really enjoy all that February has to offer. I thought I'd spend February discussing "Stuff I Love." I know I'm not Oprah but I feel like if she gets her favorite things, I get "Stuff I Love." That's how the world works.

Up first: mandatory fun.

What's that? You don't know what mandatory fun is? Mandatory fun or "Mandofun" is actually a military term.  It's something that you're "invited" to attend (i.e. told to attend). I don't recall my parents ever using it when we were growing up. However, I can definitely recall multiple events from my childhood that fit nicely into this category. This includes but is not limited to multiple trips to the air show and a picnic that included a group of mildly inebriated Army officers singing the Oak Ridge Boys song "Elvira." Memorable but not really what I'd call fun. In non-military terms, this could apply to things like a company holiday party or that really awkward happy hour you have to attend with senior leadership team members. Y'all know what I'm talking about.

It's also the name of Weird Al's latest album. I saw Weird Al in concert for the first time last summer. If you haven't seen him live before, make sure to catch him the next time he visits your town/city/fair hamlet. It's a fun show; lots of costume changes and cool lighting effects and multimedia elements. He plays a ton of songs from his extensive catalog including all the hits and some songs I had no idea he ever did. His band is awesome - they can play just about any type of music and have fun doing it. Weird Al's latest album is called Mandatory Fun and this phrase has become a mantra of mine. Given the album artwork, Al knows where "mandatory fun" comes from

Personally, I like to use the term to refer to those little oases in the day that allow you recenter yourself and take a little break from what's going on. I'm more on the introverted side of life and I find little mandatory fun breaks help me focus during the day. It's also important for me to have opportunities to be creative everyday. In my job some days are devoted to doing things like reserving conference rooms and updating whether or not a person has attended an education program I run. Neither of those things are fun, interesting, or creative so I have to get that elsewhere. Mandatory fun helps.

Over the summer, several of my co-workers decided that we needed to get on the adult coloring bandwagon and dedicate lunch once a month to taking a coloring break. If you're not familiar with what adult coloring is, check out this article or this one. Lots of people, including doctors and other mental health professionals, see coloring as a way for adults to calm their anxiety, relax, and create something. So for a few lunches over the summer, a group of us spent our break in a conference room, coloring, eating lunch, and chatting quietly. We didn't eat lunch at our desks for a change. We created a little moment of quiet and calm in the middle of busy, often over-scheduled days.

After our first coloring lunch, I started joking with people that I'd really like my title at work to be "Director of Mandatory Fun." In addition to having a coloring book library and art supplies at the ready, I have Legos available whenever anyone needs a building break.


It's fun to be able to spend part of the day coloring or building something cool out of Legos or reading or whatever else fits into your definition of mandatory fun. It's easy to lose sight of all of these things when there are deadlines to meet and people to train and other important work stuff to do. We all spend a lot of time at work so we might as well enjoy it while we're there. Mandatory fun doesn't have to feel like those company parties and military command picnics we're all so used to. Mandatory fun can be just that...fun.


What other stuff do I love? Up next a special Valentine's Day post devoted to the best musical moments from Quentin Tarantino films. "Stuck in the Middle with You" is the obvious one but there are more surprises to come.