Lazy Movie Weekend: Kickstart My Heart

One of my favorite Chuck Klosterman books is Fargo Rock City: A Heavy Metal Odyssey in Rural North Dakota. I think it was the first of Klosterman's books I read, and it was definitely the one that made me laugh out loud the most (my favorite is Killing Yourself to Live). Chuck grew up in rural North Dakota listening to the dulcet tones of every metal band you can name and many you probably can't. He breaks down the genres of metal and discusses his love of it all. One of my favorite sections is his discussion of Motley's Crue's album, Shout at the Devil and the title track. This was the Crue's second studio album and the one where they were accused being devil worshipers. Both Klosterman and the Crue would note that they weren't shouting with the Devil, but at the Devil. Subtle difference, but clearly not devil worship.

The 1980s were a magical time of, well, spandex, pop princesses, early rap stars, and the debauchery of the Sunset Strip and everything associated with it. As the opening narration of the Netflix movie The Dirt tells us, everything sucked about the 80s. I'm not sure I 100% believe that, but I get where movie Nikki Sixx is coming from; the 80s weren't great, but they were tolerable. Lots of really fun and fascinating pop culture comes from the 80s, including the wonder that is glam metal, or hair metal if you want to be a jerk about it. Glam metal is my favorite sub-genre of metal. It combines my love of loud/aggressive music with the sparkle and weirdness of glam music.

Glam metal had its beginning in the 1970s when KISS, Alice Cooper, and Cheap Trick (yes, they belong here) added theatrical elements to their performances and used costuming and makeup to create specific personas onstage. In the 80s, every other band was a glam metal band: Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Ratt, Twisted Sister, Van Halen (the David Lee Roth era), and Quiet Riot were some of the big names. Poison, Cinderalla, and Warrant would come later. This was the kind of music metal dudes could rock out to, but girls could dance to, so it was a perfect. I started listening to glam metal because my brother listened to it, and I was heavy into David Bowie/Roxy Music/T-Rex/70s punk bands so the pieces all sort of fit together. By the late 80s/early 90s, I was over boy bands and onto real music. Glam metal was a perfect.

I've seen a lot of these bands in concert, but at much later points in their careers. My second real concert was a Def Leppard concert in 1992 (I've seen them 3 times). I saw KISS, Motley Crue, and Alice Cooper at various times between 2008-2014. These show are among some of my favorite concerts; devoted fans, fun performances, and a commitment to a the glam metal aesthetic.

I shouldn't love the movie The Dirt as much as I do, but I can't help it. The 80s, particularly in the world of the Sunset Strip and glam metal bands, was about decadence and breaking rules and being the most rock and roll band you could be. That's why this movie is so perfect. It's based on the joint autobiography/oral history of the band of the same name (I haven't read it, but now I want to), and gives us some glimpses into the personal lives of the band before they became Motley Crue. We get to see Tommy Lee's super suburban family, and Nikki Sixx's crazy mother. We learn the name of Mick Mars's degenerative bone disease. I'm still trying to decide if Vince Neil was a kept man before joining the band; he had a rich girlfriend and it seemed like he might have been. Anyway, the movie moves from their humble beginnings in L.A. to their mega-stardom and inevitable crash. It's like a long-form VH1 Behind the Music, but one that was written by a super hormonal teenage boy who's been snorting coke and drinking Jack Daniels for a week.

This movie is not for everyone. If you don't want to watch Nikki Sixx shoot heroin into his neck or see the car crash that killed Hanoi Rocks drummer, Razzle Dingley, you probably shouldn't watch this movie. If lots of random sex and drug use and drinking bothers you, don't watch this movie. If cursing makes you clutch your pearls, definitely don't watch this movie. If you're cool with this or at least can tolerate it, grab a glass of Jack Daniels and settle in with me for The Dirt.

• "He makes a lot of bad choices." Nikki Sixx describing Tommy Lee during the intro voiceover. If ever there was an understatement, this is it. 
• "Mick Mars - he's an alien." Seriously, I love this movie and I'm on 5 minutes in.
• I never knew Tommy Lee came from such a ridiculously normal family. It's kind of crazy. I guess I thought he was raised by wolves in a parking lot or something similar.
• I have realized that because I'm sober, I'm too sober to watch this movie. I will continue on, but seriously, this movie would make a great drinking game. 
• Mick Mars will always be my favorite member of the band. Dude has a serious medical condition, but could play. He seems like a guy who could tolerate/participate in a lot of nonsense, but also needed his quiet time away from the party. He's played by probably the most well-known person in this movie, Iwan Rheon, from Game of Thrones. He is amazing in this role and my favorite part of the movie.
• When looking for a singer, the guys were looking for someone who would be a combination of David Lee Roth and David Bowie. They got Vince Neil, and I can see both Roth and Bowie in young Vince Neil.
• There's a lot of breaking of the fourth wall in this movie. Every member of the band does it, as do the band's manager, Doc, and the A&R guy from Elektra Records (played by Pete Davidson). 
• "Don't ever leave your girlfriend alone with Motley Crue." Probably the most accurate statement in this entire movie.
• I never realized how much Vince Neil and Rod Stewart had in common until I watched this movie. Neil is like the glam metal version of Stewart's man tart. 
• "Come have a talk with your Uncle Oz." The section with Ozzy Osbourne was spectacular. I don't doubt that any of this happened, but it's so bizarre that I have to wonder. When I saw Sabbath a few years ago, Ozzy reminded me of an old grandpa shuffling around in his pjs. This is not that Ozzy.
• Bless the Crue's manager, Doc. "Motley Crue did stupid things because they were Motley Crue." 
• Things shift dramatically for the band following the death of Razzle from Hanoi Rocks and Neil's first attempt at sobriety. This is also when Nikki Sixx discovers heroin and Tommy Lee meets Heather Locklear. 
• This is when the movie becomes a mix between Behind the Music but with more swearing, and a reality tv show. Tommy Lee's life on the road segment would have made great reality tv back in the day. 
• Nikki: "Is there even still a Persia?" Heroin Dealer: "There has to be; that's where the cats come from." This is the exchange before the dealer injects Nikki with the heroin that would kill him. But he didn't die die; he was revived. 
• This prompts the entire band to go to rehab. Where is the documentary about this? I mean, we got a documentary when Metallica went through group therapy together. I guess we got The Dirt so it's sort of the same thing. 
• After rehab, the band released Dr. Feelgood, their most successful album and one that lead to an epic tour. This epic tour would be the start of the decline of the band. 
• And then the movie turns super sad. Vince Neil's first wife leaves, taking their daughter with her. The daughter, Skylar, dies of cancer not too long after, at age four. It's the most emotional part of the movie, and does a lot to humanize Vince Neil. It was hard watching this part of the movie after everything that came before it.
• Nikki figures out his life, and begins apologizing to everyone. Mick gets his hip replaced. The band gets back together. They continued to perform as Motley Crue for 20 years after that. Just a bunch of dudes who like to play glam metal and be around one another. And we all learned a lesson...or something.

I've learned a lot of things from Motley Crue: the names of strip clubs; that I should not go away mad, but just go away; Nikki Sixx will always be the hottest member of the band; we all need to remember that it's our collective jobs to kickstart Vince Neil's heart; that shouting at the Devil is really effective. More than anything, the Crue showed us all that music doesn't always have to be serious. It can be about having a good time and doing wild stuff. Even when you eventually have to be a grown up, you can still rock out. So thank you, Motley Crue. Thank you for this self-indulgent, but also sort of sad movie. I don't know how all of you survived, but you did, and for that, I salute you. 

The Dirt cast image

Prelude to Record Store Day 2016: If only I could remember equations like I can remember song lyrics

While I was not a big fan of Belinda Carlisle as a solo artist, I've always enjoyed the songs "Heaven Is a Place On Earth", "I Get Weak", "Mad About You", and my favorite "Circle in the Sand." Other than "Heaven Is a Place On Earth," I don't think I've listened to any of these songs by choice in 15 years. However, I still remember all of the words. I was thinking about this as I sat at a Belinda Carlisle concert at the Hamilton with a bunch of other "old" people singing songs from 30+ years ago ("We Got the Beat" was released in 1980 and "Circle in the Sand" is just a smidgen younger, released in 1988). Everywhere I looked, people were singing along to most of the songs Carlisle included in the set. It got me thinking: how many song lyrics do I know?

The number has to be in the tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands. This brings up a second question: What should be included? Does a jingle count as a song? Probably. Does it count if you know most of the lyrics to a song? For example, I know all the words to the Busta Rhymes verse from the song "Scenario" (Tribe Called Quest) and know the choruses to countless songs; do they count? I would say yes but I'm sure other people would disagree and say it only counts if I know all the lyrics. Those people are decidedly not fun and I don't want to hang out with them. What's the ratio of hymns or patriotic music to rock music? I know a ridiculous amount of hymns despite the fact that I have not regularly attended mass since 1998. One of my friends told me recently that she had the song "Home On the Range" in her head and remembered all the words to it. I remember the song but only as performed as "Glee Club Rehearsal" in the musical You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown. I don't know all the lyrics to "Home On the Range" but I know all of the dialogue to this part of the musical. I'm going to go ahead and count this anyway because I can.

According to an informal poll I conducted on Facebook (clearly the most reliable source for conducting poll-based research) my friends know more song lyrics than any of them could even begin to count. I was treated to the opening "rap" from the New Kids on the Block holiday gem "Funky, Funky Christmas" because that's how my friends roll. I'm most impressed with the random things people shared: their knowledge of lyrics from songs from the 50s and 60s (or even the 1920s) despite not having been alive during the songs' popularity, one person likes to sing if they're alone in a elevator, everyone knows a ridiculous number of commercial jingles. The general consensus is that for most of us our brains are 99% song lyrics. This probably explains why I suck at math but know all the words to "Livin' On a Prayer."

I did a small amount of research on the topic: Science is apparently the answer to why we remember lyrics. And maybe a little history too. Apparently the ability to remember song lyrics and melodies is a lot like having a physical skill like hitting a tennis ball or a baseball; it's something we're wired to do. This type of memory is called "procedural memory" and also includes our ability to walk and talk and why we can remember how to do things we haven't done in years like ride a bike. Another thought around remembering song lyrics goes back to early human history and oral traditions for sharing stories and history with one another. This is why we have troubadours and raconteurs/raconteuses. Telling a story is easier for some people if they are able to sing the story. Makes sense to me.

I've talked about it before but lyrics are a big part of why I still buy albums and CDs and why I've kept so many of the cassette tapes I bought in my youth. It's not just because I'm nostalgic and wish I could spend more of my time browsing in places like Tower Records and Kemp Mill Music (sadly both gone). I like spending time looking at album art and the lyrics when they're included. Other than the scientific reasons for remembering lyrics, this probably why I remember so many. It's not just the sheer number of times I listen to a song that cements the lyrics in my head; it's spending time with the lyrics and the liner notes. In the rares times that I dance in public, I always enjoy myself more when I know the songs. The familiarity of the lyrics makes me feel more comfortable, more okay with the fact that I don't think I dance well.

As I venture out for tomorrow's Record Store Day, I am reminded of this bit of dialogue from the movie Music & Lyrics:

Sophie: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex.
Alex: I so get that.
Sophie: But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magical.

That, my friends, is why I love music.

Tomorrow is Record Store Day! I'm making my way to Richmond to visit a few record stores and check out the GWAR Bar. More to come before the end of the weekend!