In which I discuss TikTok with my dad

My dad's a funny guy. It's a subtle humor, unless he's telling a dad joke. He's very good at dad jokes. Since I don't go anywhere except the store, and my parents don't really go anywhere except doctor's appointments, I see them once a month (approximately). Back in May, I was visiting and catching up with my dad before dinner. I was telling him amusing Keely stories and talking about work. My dad shifted the conversation to a topic I wasn't expecting. It went something like this:

My dad: Do you know what TikTok is?

Me: Yes...

My dad: I want to watch those videos of the female comedian who's doing the parodies of Trump. How do I set up an account? 

Me: You don't need an account. Let's search for them instead. 

And scene. Apparently, The Washington Post ran an article about Sarah Cooper and Kylie Scott that very morning and he wanted to see the videos because he thought they sounded hilarious. We talked about ways around having an account, how he could search for them or I could send him links (I don't have TikTok, but I am a fraction better at the internet than my dad). I don't know if he finds them on his own now, but I do send him links occasionally, so there's that. Can you imagine what my dad's TikTok account would be like? Videos of him being annoyed at squirrels for eating the plants? Him and my mom talking about the various birds who hang out in their backyard? In addition to squirrel hate and bird watching, my dad's hobbies include going to the commissary/grocery, complaining that he can't hear the dryer when the cycle ends, and watching Hallmark movies and shows on HGTV. You know what, I'd watch those TikTok videos even if he wasn't my dad. They'd probably be unintentionally hilarious and incredibly practical. 

Anyway, this isn't about my dad as much as it's about the fact that my dad thinks the 45 is a joke and his love of the parody stylings of Sarah Cooper should tell you something important about the way people are consuming media and news these days. Neither of my parents like the 45; they didn't vote for him and want nothing more than to see him out of the White House and in prison. They've never been what you'd call liberal, but since the 45 was "elected," there has been a very distinct shift in their politics and social justice opinions. It reached peak hate during the impeachment hearings, particularly around the treatment of Lt. Col Alexander Vindman. I have never seen my dad that angry at the government. Everyone has their moment, and I guess that was his. It's been even worse since March; I've had conversations with them about race and politics and police brutality that I never thought I'd have. It's been a fascinating almost six months. 

Real talk: the recent announcement of an Executive Order banning TikTok has nothing to do with the security issues the platform has been criticized for since it's launch. That may be used in the discussion around the order, but that's not the reason. If that were the reason, that would mean the 45 cares about people other than himself, and we know that's not true. The order is aimed specifically at Sarah Cooper and the TikTok teens who "ruined" the Tulsa rally. Both Cooper and TikTok teens/K-Pop fans take up so much real estate in the 45's brain, it's no wonder he's saying bizarre things during interviews. It has to enrage him that more people would rather watch Sarah Cooper than an actual press conference. And the kids? How dare they! 

More importantly, we should be discussing this Executive Order for one very specific reason:

He signed an Executive Order about TikTok instead of doing anything useful about the pandemic.

In his most recent very stupid interview with Jonathan Swan, the 45 actually said "it is what it is" when asked about the 150K+ people who have died due to COVID-19. Are you fucking kidding me? I say that when the cat throws up on a yoga mat or I have to sit in traffic going south on 95 on a Saturday at 10 am. That is not how the President of the United States is supposed to react to the deaths of his citizens, especially since he and his administration sat by and watched this happen. They had the power and the means to do something, and didn't. He has the audacity to sit in this interview and throw his hands up as if there was nothing he could do about it. I don't blame the 45 for COVID-19, but I blame him for the botched response, the crap economy, and the deaths of 150,000+ Americans. He owns all of those things because he did nothing. No wait, he did something. He spread lies and disinformation and withheld plans because only "blue states" were being impacted. This is apparently how presidents behave. 

For those of you still supporting this monster/moron, what is actually wrong with you? (Also, why are you reading my blog? Is it for the cat posts?) How do you sleep at night knowing that he allowed so many to die? Knowing that so much of this could have been prevented? I don't sleep well all the time; it might be the cicadas and frogs outside my house, but it's mostly the ideas that you as a voter exist and that he is the President. I guess I wasn't designed to understand you, but I hope between now and November you wake up and realize he doesn't care about you, your family, or your life...unless you have lots and lots of money or are a racist.

For the rest of you, everyone who is exhausted and angry and scared, I implore you

VOTE!!!!

If you didn't do it back in June when I originally asked, take time now to get your voting plan in order: 

• Get the address of your physical polling place. For those of you who already are registered, check to see if it moved. This happens all the time, and can cause confusion when you go to vote. 
• Know the hours polling will be open - if you are in line before the end of polling hours, you can still vote. 
• Understand the identification requirements for your state.
• Check into mail-in and absentee ballot rules for your state. Not all states are allowing for mail-in ballots because of COVID-19. so you need to know what you're able to do and how to do. 
• Educate yourself on the ballot. You need to know what positions and ballot initiatives will be on the ballot. Find candidates that support your values and learn about initiatives because your tax dollars pay for them. 

Normally, I'd offer to drive people who need rides to vote, but I volunteered to be an election day worker this year. I don't know if I been accepted yet, but I'll be busy that day, so I won't be able to take people to vote. Please figure this out now. This is the one election where you can't wait to the last minute to figure this out. 

Voting is legitimately what we have left, not just to deal with the 45, but to deal with the people who enabled him. They had the power to stop him, but have opted instead to be greedy, horrible people at our expense. Teach them a lesson, and vote them right out of office (I'm looking at you, voters in Tennessee, Kentucky, South Carolina, and Maine). They're as much of the problem as him, and they don't deserve to serve in Congress.

A final word about TikTok - Sarah Cooper and the TikTok teens will be fine. They will/already have found other ways to get things done. Sarah Cooper is a capable, hilarious human. We'll still see her videos when she posts them. And the teens? Well, if the 45 had raised any of his children he'd know that taking things away from teenagers never works. If they want to do something, they'll figure out how. Not only will they figure out how, but the new solution will be at least ten times more effective and a hundred times more embarrassing for the parent. Teenagers are pretty inventive, so good luck with that.

Stay safe. Wear your mask. Wash your hands. Be nice to one another. Vote. Black Lives Matter.