My 40th Year on Earth: The Plunge

A few weeks ago, I shared my plans to boldly enter my 40th year on Earth. I define "boldness" in this statement as those things that make me move outside of the comfort zone I've created for myself in my little life with my enormous cat. (I get it, Dr. Vet, he's fat. You try getting a shelter cat to love you without the aid of shrimp flavored snacks.) I've identified twelve things I plan to this year that range on a scale of terrifying to fun stuff that I've always wanted to do, but don't ever plan to do so I'm doing them. It's a great list. I encourage everyone to do something similar this year. I'll be your list cheerleader if you need one.

I listen to the JSS Morning Show on 98 Rock, a rock station out of Baltimore. The show is the right balance of comedy, news, music, sports, and weirdness to get my day going. Since my commute is much longer now, I get to listen from the six am hour sports through just after the seven am news, depending on traffic. Usually in December, the guys start talking about the upcoming Polar Bear Plunge event they're part of in Maryland. When they started talking about it this past December, I knew I was planning my list, but hadn't quite figured out what all the events/things were going to be. The guys talked about their experience at past plunges, and it clicked in my head. I should find a plunge event near me. It combines my love of participating in random things and giving back to my community/being a good citizen. It just so happens a new plunge event would be taking place this year in the Mosaic District in Fairfax, sponsored by Plunge Virginia. I had found my event.

Plunge Virginia sponsors multiple events in January and February to support Special Olympics Virginia. Money raised at the events helps the organization provide training and other support throughout the year, and helps support sending athletes to the World Games (this year in Abu Dhabi). Virginia has seven athletes going to the World Games this year. I've donated to Special Olympics before, but never done any fundraising for the group. I know a few people who work or volunteer for the organization, too.

The Mosaic event was sponsored by the Fairfax County Police Department, and has the distinction of being Plunge Virginia's first pool plunge. I'm glad I picked a pool plunge for my first event; I'm not sure I would have actually gone through with running in and out of open water. This was the perfect event for me because it was small enough that it didn't take forever to actually jump into the water, but there were enough other people plunging that I wasn't singled out in any way. Eighty people took part in the event, mostly from the Fairfax County Police and a few of the other sponsoring groups.

The pool was set up near some shops on the far end of Mosaic. It was one of those temporary above ground pools, smaller than the ones I remember from childhood, but big enough for an adult to jump into. I'm on the short side so the water came just to my waist as I was getting out of the pool. For the much taller people who jumped, it was barely at mid-thigh. County Fire and Rescue crews were on hand, including divers, who were in the water as we jumped. It was comforting to have them there. I jumped in the first group of 10-15 people; I made sure I was as close to the front of the line as I could be. The random DJ from a station I don't listened to called my name and I jumped in. It was cold, but not so cold that I couldn't get myself together to get out of the pool. I found Anita and Scott who had my towel and dry clothes, and raced over to the changing tent. By the time I jumped, got out, and changed, the event was over and the costume contest winners were being announced.

I'm the kind of person who enjoys roller coasters, but also says something like "this was a very poor life choice" right before the first drop. I feel the exact same way about doing the Polar Bear Plunge. The idea of it is appealing; it's for a good cause, it's over in about a minute, people are there to cheer me on. But like the roller coaster, I had a moment went I said to myself, right before I walked up the stairs, "this is a horrible idea, you shouldn't do this." But I did it, and I'd do it again. It was invigorating and fun, and helps a great organization. I plan to do it again next year, and maybe get a team together so it's not me plunging by myself. It's more fun if others make terrible/wonderful life choices with me!

Thanks to everyone who donated to my fundraising goal; I hit my $500 goal the day of the plunge. If you're interested in donating to Special Olympics Virginia, you can donate on my page or the main Special Olympics VA page. A special thanks to Scott and Anita, my photographers, cheerleaders, and towel/clothes holders - you're the best!

Next month: It's February, so it's the return of "Stuff I Love" month! This month we'll explore axe-throwing, being in a Mardi Gras parade, more on glitter, and the parts of Valentine's Day I can truly support (hint: it involves chocolate). We also get to celebrate the 400th Island post! It's going to be a great month!

Photos by me and Anita
Video by Scott

The Return of Answer Your Cat's Questions Day

I truly enjoy random holidays. Donut Day - I'll take one! Did you say it was Hug a Ginger Day? I'm a ginger; I'll take a hug. There's a fun Instagram account called "It's a Day Really" you can follow to keep up to date on your random holidays. My favorite of all random holidays is Groundhog Day. Who doesn't love a day that celebrates a weather forecasting rodent? Terrible people, that's who. My second favorite random holiday is "Answer Your Cat's Questions Day." Seven years ago, I stumbled upon this "holiday" because I follow Pee-Wee Herman on Twitter and he shared a post about it. My annual posts answering all of Pumpkin's questions are some of the most popular on the Island. Obviously, with Pumpkin's passing last year, I took a year off. I've been thinking about bringing the post back since I adopted Keely, and decided it's the right thing to do. Pumpkin would want her "brother" to get his questions answered too.

I've been Keely's human for seven months now. It hasn't been an easy seven months; we've gone through a "attack the human" phase, where my legs resembled tenderized meat. Then there was the "sleep on the human's legs" phase, where I developed minor hip issues because I couldn't move at night. Keely's a big dude, so moving him, especially when he's asleep, is a lot. Around month four, we finally hit the "I will cuddle with the human" phase. I don't know what made him decide my lap was his favorite place to nap, but he finds his way to me every evening after work and we cuddle on the couch until he decides he's had enough. More recently, he's moved up to sleep up by my chest rather than on my feet or legs. I think this means he likes me.

This week, Keely got sick for the first time since I adopted him. His left eye got all goopy and he threw up multiple times in one day. I took him to the emergency vet, and left with eye drops, bland cat food, and a cone of shame (which he didn't have to wear thankfully). Watching my big guy suffer and look miserable was stressful; I'm a worrier so I spent the week worrying about him. He used the week to become even more of a cuddle monster and being a very good boy when it came to letting me put his eye drops in (sort of). We need a little fun to end our stressful week, so let's get to Keely's questions.

1. Where did I come from? Do you mean this in a "where do kittens come from" way or a "how did I end up with you, human" way? Or are you being philosophical? I'd rather not have "the talk" with you (you don't really have boy parts anymore so we're good), so let's go with the second one. I can only tell you two things about your first family: they overfed you and had the good sense to take you to a shelter when they decided they didn't want to be your family anymore. Your destiny was not to be their cat, and that's where I came into your life. I visited the Animal Welfare League of Alexandria on a Friday in June and there you were. I stepped into your cage and you let me pet you and you fell asleep on my hand. Once that happened, I couldn't not take you home with me. So, that's where you came from.
   
2. Where do you go all day? Do you get to take naps while you're there? Naps are good, so I hope you get to take naps. I go to a magical place called Herndon. It's where my job is. I have a job so we can afford a place to leave, have health insurance, and you can have treats and toys. I spend my day helping people learn things so they can be the best them at work, going to meetings, and creating the document of the corporate world, the Power Point. No, no napping occurs. Napping at work is generally frowned upon, but I'll let me boss know your concern and see if we can't get some nap time added to the day. 
3. Why am I not allowed on the counters? You know you're not my real mom. Thank you for reminding me I'm not your real mom; that's cool, although not very polite of you. You're not allowed on the counters for one very important reason: the counter you can jump on is right next to the stove. Since my apartment complex thinks a glass top stove is a smart design choice, I don't want you on the counter because you could step on a hot stove if I've been cooking. I don't want you to burn yourself. Also, I prepare my food on those counters, and don't want your hair or your little face in my food. Not everything I own is yours.
4. What's all the shiny stuff on the floor and the table? Why is it here? Can I roll around in it? The shiny stuff not appearing throughout our apartment is called glitter. Glitter is a magical decorative tool, used to make ordinary things extraordinary. Some people don't like glitter. Those people have no souls. I'm a member of the Mystic Krewe of Nyx this year, and will be in a Mardi Gras parade next month (don't worry, no Mardi Gras tie for you this year). We make glitter purses to gently throw/hand to parade goers along the route. That's why there's so much glitter around. Normally, our house isn't so glitterific. It's probably best if you don't roll around in the glitter. You don't need to be sparkly. I do, however, appreciate how helpful you've been while I decorate my purses. 
5. Is everything I rub my face on mine? It really doesn't matter how I respond to this since that won't stop you from rubbing your face on everything I own, so I'll say yes. I would, however, like to ask if you can refrain from rubbing your face on work laptop when I work from home. You always seem to do it when I'm about to send something important, but aren't quite ready to do so. I'm paranoid you're going to hit send before I'm ready. No one will believe, "my cat sent that incomplete email" even if they know you. Related to this: people food is not cat food. I know the kabobs I ordered on Friday smelled delicious (they were), but they're not for you. You can get sick eating certain types of people food. I saw you try to swipe my pita bread; no bread for you!
6. Why do you keep putting squirty things in my eye? It makes me want to bite you. In your first few weeks with me, I feel like everything I did made you want to bite me, so why do you need to make such a big deal out of the eye drops? You have conjunctivitis in your left eye and these drops are supposed to make you feel better and keep away another infection. Can you bring back the good boy who let me put these drops in without injury? I'd really like it if he came back...at least until next Wednesday. (Spoiler: we're going back to the vet on Wednesday.)
7. Where did my treats go? I used to get treats. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have to go on a diet. Apparently, I didn't reduce your food enough/have been buying your affection with treats. You weighed 14 pounds when I adopted you, and have gained two pounds. I'm pretty sure your vet is going to tell me to put you on a restricted diet. I promise we'll find a low calorie treat and you can have one or two on special occasions. 
8. Don't you get that my "biting" and "attacking" are just my way of showing you I like you? Please tell that to my poor legs. I get it, cats think humans are just big, dumb cats, but we're not. I don't have sharp teeth like you do, or murder mittens. (Sidenote: murder mittens is the greatest description of cat claws of all time.) I think you're only playing/showing me that you like about 75% of the time. The other 25% is just your being a viciously adorable animal. Let's agree that you'll keep the injuries to a minimum, and I'll try my best not to be so sad/angry with you when they occur.
9. Am I a good protector? Should I add to my patrol? Following in your sister's footsteps, you are quite the killer! I was impressed with your fly killing abilities this summer; you're a great jumper and swatter! I was even more impressed when you helped your Uncle Scott dispatch the mouse that snuck into the apartment back in October. Good job! Your patrols seem to be working. Keep in mind the birds and squirrels will be back soon so you'll have to extend your window patrol once they return. 
10. Are you my mom now? It would be a real honor if you thought of me as your mom. I feel like now that we've battled our first illness together and I'm about to be super interested in your weight, it's probably time for you to think of me as your mom, not just your human. But whatever, we don't need labels. I'll love you whether you think of me as your cat mom, human, or that dumb cat who feeds me. You can continue to show your affection however you want and keep the biting to a minimum. However, it is really fun to refer to you as my "cat son" to people who are a little on the judgy side because I don't have human children. It makes me gleeful to watch them not know how to respond when I talk about my cat son. 

For the first time in Answer Your Cat's Questions Day history, we're going to have Keely answer a question from one of his many adoring fans. He has the same affinity for IKEA bags as his sister, but has taken his bag love a step further by also "living" in a Target bag on occasion.

How do you choose between a Target bag and an IKEA bag for your vacation home? One of the best things about being a cat is that I really don't have to make choices. My human worships me because that is the way it's supposed to be. Since she makes both IKEA and Target bags available to me on a regular basis, I can enjoy them both. Cats have the best lives. Since you humans need definitive answers here's mine: IKEA bags are much better for long-term commitments. They're roomier, more crinkly, and are better for hiding. Target bags are more short-term, for a quick nap or a little hide and seek while your human finishes unpacking groceries. Now if you want a spa day experience, try a Vera Bradley quilted bag. I might look a little surprised in this picture, and I was, by how comfortable I was in this bag. You won't be disappointed. 

Next week: I recount my experience taking part in my first Polar Bear Plunge. It's going to be cold and exciting!

My 40th Year on Earth: A Beginning

Happy New Year! I hope you've had a wonderful first week of 2019, and have only had to correct yourself once or twice when writing the date. I know, I know, no one writes anything anymore, but I'm old so humor me.

As I said to someone at work this week, January is the longest month of the year, lasting about three months and feeling like seven. I was only at work three days this week and I already feel like I need a vacation. Maybe it has something to do with that phenomenon of not really knowing what day it is between Christmas and New Year's. Once I step back into the reality of actual life, I realize my vacation was but a moment of randomly scheduled events and sitting on my couch with Keely. It feels like a lifetime ago.

The start of January also means it's time for me to assess my goals for the year and reorganize something (probably the spice cabinet, but maybe the pantry). I've never been one to make resolutions, but a goal I can do. I mean, I've been working on a project at work about this exact thing for precisely ten years (I've only worked there for a year and a half), so I need to follow the advice I've been writing and put these goals out into the world. Usually, I try to make a list that includes both small, easy wins and lofty aspirations. I feel like I was too ambitious last year, as I didn't accomplish much of what I set out to do. However, while I didn't do all of the things, other things ended up being part of my life instead, so it all balances out. I accomplished a lot last year, so I'm satisfied with that. Since I didn't do all the things I listed last year, it also means I can move some forward to this year. Win-win in my book.

There's the added bonus this year of it being my 40th year on Earth. As I was thinking through my goals for the year, I thought of a conversation with a friend from work who told me how much I would love my forties. To her, it's a powerful decade of life, and I am 100% behind this. Because of this conversation, I got to thinking I should enter my 40th year on Earth boldly and with the same sense of purpose I entered into my thirties. Back then, I did 30 things I had never done before during the year; things like wearing lipstick everyday and wearing only skirts and dresses for a month. I credit my love skirts and my affinity to lipstick to this experiment. What will I keep doing after this year?

Now, being bold doesn't have to mean things like sky diving or walking across hot lava. I don't equate boldness and extreme sports, although feel free to do so if that works for you. Instead, I'm defining boldness as those things that make me move out of the comfort zone I've created for myself in my little apartment with my enormous cat. It's moving into a new decade of life knowing that I tried things that are terrifying to me (see March, July, November, and December), while also doing things I know I can accomplish but are completely outside of my norm (see January, April, May, and September). The rest of the list are things I've always wanted to do or are just fun, to balance out all the terrifying (see February, June, August, and October).

Without further ado, my list:

• January: Participate in a Polar Bear Plunge to benefit Special Olympics VA.
• February: Ride in my first Mardi Gras parade. Hail Nyx!
• March: Actually sing at a karaoke night.  
• April: Mastering the Art of French Cooking - I'll make a four course meal from this iconic cookbook.
• May:  Take a welding/jewelry class. 
• June: Experience my 40th Birthday Extravaganza. I don't know what this means yet, but I'll figure it out.
• July: Launch my podcast, Don't Be a Jerk at Work.
• August: Enter the Arlington County Fair baking contest, probably in the holiday cookie category.
• September: Take drum lessons.
• October: Go to Hershey Spa because why wouldn't I want to go to a chocolate spa? (PS - I don't like strangers touching me, so this is both a fun goal and a little uncomfortable for me.)
• November: Put The Craftery plan on paper. 
• December: Send Transient Suburbia proposal to at least two publishers.

Now that I've shared these with you, I'm more likely to actually achieve most, if not all of these goals. Each month, I'll provide an update on how it went and what's coming next. You'll be my accountability buddies or something.

Here's to a fun and exciting 2019! 

Not a creature was stirring, except my mom on Pinterest...

I feel like I've said this for the past two years, but has 2018 felt like three years jammed into one? It seems like it's never going to end. Maybe it's just me, but so much has happened in 2018 that I have trouble keeping it all in a timeline that makes sense. Thankfully, Dave Barry summarized the year perfectly in his annual Year in Review column in The Washington Post. I've been enjoying Barry's column since I was a teenager, and it never ceases to amaze me how spot on he is.

One important event Barry failed to mention in his column was, I think, an important milestone in social media usage: my mother began actively using Pinterest. This may not seem like a revolutionary moment to anyone else, but to me, this symbolizes the natural end point of my mother's technology/social media journey. Remember when she learned to use text messaging on her own? Now she uses emojis like a champ. And Facebook? Well, she's not really actively using her account anymore, but for a while there, she was good at posting articles and embarrassing birthday posts like every mom on Facebook. I've always been very proud of her use of social media since it's not something she likes or gets, but she tries, and that's the important part.

I'm not sure when my mom "discovered" Pinterest. It was before this year, but she didn't really do much with it until recently. If I had to guess, I'd say it was during the last two-ish years as she spent time in hospitals following a severe ankle break. There's only so much daytime television and political commentary a person can watch before they go crazy; my mom hit that point very early in her stay and had to divert her attention elsewhere. She, like everyone in my family, is an avid reader so she read a lot. Her Kindle is one of the newer ones that's basically a tablet so she was able to go online and add apps to it. I think this is when she found Pinterest. My mom discovering Pinterest could be the best or worst thing ever. There's really no middle ground here.

For my mom, Pinterest is really fun. She can find new recipes, something she loves to do, and ideas for holiday home decor that may or may not always work. Unlike me, my mom doesn't have the level of cynicism I have about Pinterest being a place where boring white women plan weddings in reclaimed barns using Mason jars. (I'm sure your wedding in a barn with Mason jars was beautiful, calm down.) Hopefully, we've past the point in time where this is a thing and we can go back to life as it was pre-reclaimed barn weddings. I've gotten a bit more into Pinterest since joining Stitch Fix and setting up a style board for my stylist. I'm sure she looks at this board before sending me my quarterly fix. Yes, I'm sure of it. I also enjoy looking at past Nyx purse designs for inspiration as I glitter everything in my life.

Anyway, a few weeks before Christmas, my mom texted me to start making holiday plans. She likes to start planning the menu for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day early in the month so we all have time to put in requests and change our minds a few times. In her text, she asked me if I had seen all the Grinch related food posts on Pinterest. I had no idea what she was talking about, so I quickly jumped over to Pinterest and searched for "Grinch recipes." There is an entire Pinterest world of Grinch themed food, crafts, and games to explore. We love the Grinch; he's my dad's favorite Christmas character. My mom thought it would be fun to have a Grinch themed meal during the holidays. We settled on Christmas Eve, our normal Christmas movie marathon day. Then, we had to decide what to make. We settled on the following:

• Grinch fruit kabobs
• Grinch punch
• Guacamole and homemade salsa (my mom used her own recipes for these)
• A Grinch shaped veggie tray
• A "roast beast" (we used a rub my dad makes and cooked it in the crockpot - it was easy and delicious) 
• Grinch popcorn (we didn't make this on Christmas Eve, but I believe it's in the works for New Year's Day)
• Brownies with Bailey's frosting (this has nothing to do with the Grinch, but was super delicious)

We exchanged a fair number of texts in the days leading up to Christmas Eve. Who knew there were so many options for making green popcorn and so many choices for punch (none of which included alcohol)? We had the fruit kabobs, punch, and guacamole for lunch and everything else for dinner/dessert (except the popcorn).

This one looks more like Napoleon, but is still pretty great.

Since most of these recipes are meant to be made by/with small children, nothing was particularly hard to do nor did any of it take very long. Between me, my mom, and my brother (drafted to help assemble kabobs and make punch), we had everything ready by lunchtime. We could start watching our favorite holiday movies and not have to worry much about dinner or snacks. That's a holiday win in my book. 

Hats off to my mom for bringing some whimsy and fun into our holiday celebrations! 

Happy New Year from the Island! If you're going out tomorrow, please remember to have an exit strategy like a DD, Uber/Lyft, or a place to stay if the party gets out of control. Make smart life choices!!

Coming in January: goals, goals, goals - what I plan to accomplish in 2019, the return of Answer Your Cat's Questions Day, including Keely's origin story, and an update on all things glitter purses! 2019 is going to be very sparkly.

Damn the Man, Save the Empire: Turning 40 Edition

I have a very honest face. I attribute this partially to the fact that I look younger than I am (thanks genetic magic from my parents). I'm also a nice person, genuinely interested in what people have to say. This combination often means people tell me things they might not normally tell people, especially if they don't know the person well. It also means I can't play poker. This is 100% irrelevant to today's post, but true.

Anyway, I can't say that I've ever been on the receiving end of any type of life-altering revelation because of my honest face. No one has ever admitted to committing a crime or something juicy. It's usually more along the lines of people admitting to hating their jobs or sharing they hide wine in the bathroom during family events so they can sneak away and drink in peace and quiet. Occasionally, someone hints at things like marital woes or the incredible loathing they feel for their next door neighbor who puts their Christmas lights up on November 1 (I agree this is annoying), but that's as scandalous as it ever gets. I'm fine with this. I have no desire to be the person who knows scandalous things.

Sometimes the random thing a person tells me makes me get a person a bit more or is so spot on about my own life I can't stop thinking about the thing they said. At work recently, a colleague made a comment that I'm still thinking about days later. The comment was about getting to a point in life where they no longer worked for "the man." It was a fascinating comment, especially given that this person is the someone who some might refer to as "the man." It was eye-opening and a little odd, but also really awesome.

I'm going to be 40 in 2019. I find this astounding on many levels because A. I still think of my parents as "adults" but am unclear if I am one and B. I still get excited when I get carded at the movies (which does occasionally happen) or when buying alcohol. There's a C too; I haven't done many of the things people who are about to turn 40 are supposed to have done, like buy property or get married. As organized as I am, I'm not a fan of societal timelines. When my colleague said the thing about having a deadline on working for the man, I had to hide my surprise and then squirreled the comment away for later.

I never really set out to do the job I have today. When I was little, I wanted to be a ballerina lawyer. I moved onto criminologist, historian (specially on weird things like cults and odd historical sites), and finally onto to my theatre work (both in front of house and in costuming). I didn't set out to teach or work in admissions, and I never sat down and thought, "I think employee learning is my dream job. I should do that." I've basically stumbled into my career and I'm totally fine with that. Stumbling into a career isn't unusual; someone has to be an artisan cheesemaker or a the person who wrote this book.  I'm good at what I do and enjoy it....most days. You know, like a normal person feels about their job.

So when my colleague made the comment about "the man," I started thinking about my own life and my own timeline of not wanting to work for "the man." What does not working for the man even mean? Does it mean not working for a corporate entity or larger organization? Does it mean being my own boss? Does it mean not having to work at all and money just magically appearing? Would I somehow become "the man" if I worked for myself? Do I have a timeline for this? How do I define "working for the man?" Does it matter if I like the work I do? Can I just go on doing this forever? I don't know I necessarily have the answer to any of these questions, but I can't help think of them in a somewhat obsessive fashion. Basically, my non-working hours consist of me thinking the following questions: why is Keely sometimes super affectionate and other times tries to eat my leg, how much glitter do I still need to buy to finish these purses, and what's my working for the man timeline?

I only have answers to the first two questions: he's a cat and cats are weird/adorable ninja murderers and to quote Mean Girls, "the limit does not exist." As I enter the fourth decade of my life (what an excellently epic thing to write), I believe this will be the question I need to answer.

Rounding out December: My mother discovers Pinterest and more on making the world sparkle, one glitter purse at a time. In January, we celebrate the 400th Island post and "Answer Your Cat's Questions" Day returns. 

Lazy Movie Weekend: Smiling is my favorite

Every family has their own unique holiday traditions. Maybe you ride out to the middle of nowhere to cut down a Christmas tree (please make sure you shake it really well before bringing it into the house to remove all the bugs that are living in the tree). Baking is a great holiday tradition - I love holiday baking! Maybe you're the kind of family who wears matching pajamas on Christmas morning or matching sweaters on Christmas day. I don't know your life, but I know that holiday traditions are important.
My family has Christmas traditions that span the mundane (we always have banana bread and citrus salad with maraschino cherries for breakfast on Christmas morning) to the exhausting (how many White House ornaments is too many White House ornaments?). We do a lot of baking, from cutout cookies that look like the Blues Brothers to incredibly involved holiday cakes. My dad always puts a toothbrush in our stockings (yes, I'm 39 and still get a stocking). We've never been traditional Christmas dinner people; we like to rotate countries for spice. If I had to pick my favorite holiday tradition, it would have to be our annual Christmas movie marathons. We've been doing this for years now, and it does not get old. I can watch these movies over and over again and never tire of them. As I've shared before, we keep to the classics for the most part, but typically add a new movie every now and then.

One of the best adds to the marathon also happens to be one of my favorite holiday movies, 2003's Elf. I consider it a grand accomplishment I was able to convince my brother, who doesn't like Will Ferrell, to add Elf to our rotation. He couldn't ignore the genius that is the movie. What is it about a giant man-elf that is so endearing and hilarious? Grab one of your favorite of the four food groups (candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup), and let's explore the magic of Elf.

1. Bob Newhart as Papa Elf, our narrator! Newhart is a national treasure. I'll fight anyone who disagrees. 
2. Ed Asner is the only person who should play Santa. It's like he was designed to play Santa. I think he's even been in a Hallmark movie as a meddling Santa. I love him. 
3. There are a ton of classic holiday movie references sprinkled throughout the movie, including the nod to stop-motion animation like that found in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I love the puffin and other fun animal friends; they should be in the movie more.
4. A question I've always had about this movie: did the orphanage look for Buddy? Did Santa let them know Buddy was at the North Pole? I mean, Papa Elf has a picture of Buddy's dad and seems to know a lot about him, so that makes me think Santa and the orphanage were in touch. Or they are the worst orphanage. 
5. Of course Papa Elf is in charge of Santa's sleigh. And of course, it used to run on holiday cheer. It make sense that the move to the turbine age had to happen; holiday cheer is hard to come by these days.
6. Y'all it's Ralphie! Yes, Ming-Ming is none other than Peter Billingsely, from the best Christmas movie of all time, A Christmas Story. "We all have special talents" is one of those quotes I think of when I spout off random movie trivia to people or explain the history of the historical markers of Virginia to my boss; we all have special talents. 
7. Shocker - Buddy is not an elf. No one saw this coming at all. 
8. Please enjoy this video of Leon Redbone (Leon the Snowman) singing "Frosty the Snowman" with Dr. John. 
9. Poor Buddy has to find out he's a human and that his human father is on the naughty list all at the same time. It's too much. 
10. "Does someone need a hug?" - step away from the trash panda, Buddy.
11. Apparently, several minor car accidents occurred while filming Buddy in the Lincoln Tunnel. I guess no one expects Will Farrell dressed as an elf in the Lincoln Tunnel.
12. Most of the scenes of Buddy experiencing New York for the first time were filmed with just Ferrell and director Jon Favreau paying people on the street to be in random scenes with Buddy.
13. The Empire State Building elevator scene! I used to do an exercise with new hires about elevator pitches and I'd always make a joke about Buddy. I told this joke to over 200 new people; I'm pretty sure only three of them laughed.
14.  Amy Sedaris! Another national treasure - she should be in every movie.
15. "What's a Christmas-gram?! I want one!" Buddy is one of the most quotable elves ever. 
16. James Caan as Buddy's dad could not be more perfect casting. It's awkward and odd and hilarious. Come for Will Ferrell, stay for James Caan.
17. "I just like to smile. Smiling's my favorite." Buddy somehow becomes a department store elf. Which leads to meeting Zoey Deschanel's Jovie, the manic pixie girl of this movie, a joke about The Santaland Diaries ("Did Crumpet put you up to this?"), and the most magical department store North Pole ever created. The Lite Brite welcome sign is my favorite.
18. James Caan's other son does a spot on impression of Caan. Michael is the best.
19. Buddy and Jovie sing "Baby, It's Cold Outside." The worst part of this scene is not the song (which is a little rape-y, but not that controversial), but that Buddy is randomly in the women's bathroom. 
20. Artie Lang as the Gimbel's Santa is so many shades of wrong, I don't know where to start. "You sit on a throne of lies!" "You smell like beef and cheese. You don't smell like Santa." The fight sequence was filmed in one take because it would take too long to rebuild the North Pole.
21. I'm pretty sure that paternity tests don't work the way they work in this movie. Can you get the results in an hour? That's not how this works. 
22. Also, where did Buddy's pajamas come from?
23. Buddy's breakfast - Ferrell really did eat that mess of sweet awfulness. He got sick on the first take and had to do it again.
24. Epic snowball fight! This snowball fight puts all Hallmark movie snowball fights to shame.
25. Buddy gets a date! And cuts down a tree in Central Park. Successful day.
26. Who knew the mail room could be so much fun?! "Syrup in coffee!" 
27. The cast keeps getting better: Andy Ritcher, Kyle from Tenacious D, Peter Dinklage. So much goodness in less than two hours. 
28. Buddy can't help himself upon meeting Dinklage's children's author character, Miles Finch. He calls Finch and elf which causes a fight and prompts Buddy to run away.
29. Are the Central Park Rangers a real thing? I feel like they should be. Santa crashes in the park, and it's up to Buddy and his family to help save the day.
30. Thankfully, Jovie shows up (just in time) to sing because as we all know, "the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."  Everyone starts to sing, the Claus-O-Meter goes off the charts and holiday cheer propels Santa on his way. It's like a Hallmark movie but with more cursing, kissing, and elf culture.

Christmas may not be my favorite holiday, but I love it a bit more once I watch Elf. 

Elf meme

What will the rest of December bring? Glitter purses and planning for my 40th year on Earth. It's going to be an exciting month!

You're Doing Everything Wrong: Glitter Edition

Glitter is one of the most reviled items in a craft store. I've seen parents direct children away from the glitter section of a Michaels with the kind of hatred in their eyes I reserve for spiders and people who don't turn their lights on when it's raining and dark out. I've heard glitter referred to as "the Herpes of the craft world" but also "the most magical thing ever." Apparently, you either like glitter or you don't. There can be no middle ground when it comes to glitter.

I don't really know that I spend a lot of time thinking about glitter. I don't have kids, so craft and school projects aren't things I think much about. My own creative projects are primarily embroidery focused or the occasional painting project. DMC, the embroidery thread I prefer, has a metallic thread that is a pain in the ass to use, but is the closest to glitter thread you can get. I've used it twice and hated my life the entire time I worked on those pieces. Sometimes, embroidery is a form of torture. (Side note: DMC released a new line called Etoile this year and it's actual glitter thread. I haven't tried it yet because it's expensive and you can only buy it online. This annoys me.) My makeup regiment doesn't include any glitter makeup, although I do occasionally opt for glitter nail polish on the rare occasions I get a manicure. I have no glitter purses or accessories. I live a fairly glitter free life.

Until September.

I was at a winery with my family and got a text from one of my very dear friends, Heather, that would change the course of glitter in my life. Heather and I met in college and were roommates, along with another wonderful human, Kelly. Like the true adults we are, we all live in different states and don't get to see each other very often. This is one of the things that sucks most about adulthood. Anyway, Heather was texting to see if I'd like to join the Mystic Krewe of Nyx, one of the all-female Mardi Gras krewes. She and Kelly joined this year. I didn't realize I could join, so I was planning to go to the parade to see them. When Heather texted me about joining the krewe, I immediately said yes, waited for the online application link, paid my dues, and officially became a member of the sisterhood.

And became very concerned with glitter.

Mardi Gras is one of those things that people know a little bit about (they throw beads and people flash or something), a lot about (New Orleanians/Louisianians know Mardi Gras is way more than beads, boobs, and Bourbon Street), or know absolutely nothing about. I've spent a lot of my adult life trying to explain New Orleans to people who have never experienced it, and I can honestly say, it's not worth explaining because you can't explain New Orleans. New Orleans is a place that has to be experienced, and Mardi Gras is one of the experiences a person should have while there. I remember my first Mardi Gras as a child; it was magical. The floats were beautiful and it the atmosphere of a parade is glorious. It's like the best parts of a block party and parade all mashed together. I think when you experience Mardi Gras as a child, it shapes the way you view it for the rest of your life. While I did my fair share of partying at Mardi Gras in college and after, my preferred Mardi Gras is one that involves hanging out with friends and enjoying the parades Uptown.

Mardi Gras krewes are the groups that put together each parade. Rex, Zulu, Endymion, and Bacchus are some of the more recognizable krewes, with long histories of parading. In the last few decades, krewes like Muses and Nyx have made their mark on Mardi Gras, being two of the largest krewes and being all-female. During a parade, krewe members toss throws from floats. Each krewe has a mix of traditional throws (beads, cups, doubloons) and signature items, unique to that group. These signature items are coveted by parade-goers and can lead to some pretty competitive parade watching. My mom caught (or was handed) a Zulu coconut during our last Mardi Gras before we moved to Virginia. We still have it.

Nyx is known for its glitter purses. Krewe members spend the lead up to the parade hand crafting these purses to throw to very lucky fans along the route. There's even a Nyx purse tracker on Facebook. If you're a Pinterest fan, search for Nyx purses and enjoy wasting away your day looking at the beautiful creations of years past. As a member, I'm now responsible for creating glitter purses to throw in my first Mardi Gras parade. I've become a glitter hoarder.

After joining the krewe and purchasing my standard throws, I began searching online for video tutorials on making glitter purses. There are several different techniques, ranging from glue and pour to painting glitter on the purse (mixture of glue and glitter) to using glitter paper and glitter spray paint. You can buy pre-glittered purses, but I feel like for my first time, I need to fully embrace the glitter purse experience and do as much of it myself as I can. Kelly and I did a virtual purse party back in October (since we're not in New Orleans, we aren't able to join our float group for actual purse parties) and discussed techniques and tried things out while on Skype together. It was a lot of fun.

I currently have 6 different forms of glitter in my house at this exact moment. This includes:

• 17 individual loose glitters in various colors
• 3 glitter glues
• 5 glitter paints
• glitter foam
• glitter letters and shapes
• glitter embroidery thread

Since a few of my purses have a waxy coating that doesn't come off, I'll also be investing in glitter spray paint, because why not? Additionally, I have jars of sequins, multiple types of trim, feathers, three types of glue, and paint. I've been working on my purses since October and have finally finished one completely. The others are in various states of started: some have been glittered, trim elements have been made, and some have been designed but not actually started. I'm still in the gathering phase for at least one of the purses (I'm looking for a very specific item for it). I decided to name my purses to better keep track of each one. I'm toying with the idea of including a little card in each that tells the recipient the name. I don't know if that's allowed, but I really want to do it.

In spending time on these purses, I've discovered a few things. I miss New Orleans something awful, and being part of this krewe brings me back to a place that I love. I wasn't born in Louisiana, but I grew up there and I went to college there. It's the place I feel most connected to in my life and being part of something so quintessentially New Orleans is exactly what I need right now. Kelly and Heather are like sisters to me, and sharing this experience with them is going to be amazing and a wonderful start to a new decade of my life. I'm looking forward to meeting more of our Nyx sisters and experiencing this with them. I wish I lived closer so I could take part in other krewe events, like supporting our charities and coronation. Maybe next year I'll make the trip for coronation. 

I also really like glitter. I was skeptical about this part of the purses, but it's so much fun. Designing and figuring our how to bring each one to life is a big part of my new found love of glitter. Taking a plain purse and making it sparkle is wonderfully satisfying. I liken it to the magic of making marshmallows; it's something I didn't know I needed, but it's exactly what I need. It's impossible to be in a bad mood when making a glitter purse or creating some sort of sequin-based element to add to a glitter purse. It's not nearly as messy as I thought it would be (or I'm super neat and careful). Keely hasn't gotten into any of the glitter I have spilled, but he did inspect the purses before I got started. Nyx fans, these purses are Keely approved. 

I'm looking forward to riding in my first parade. If you're in New Orleans or its vicinity, come see me and 3000+ other ladies as Nyx rolls on February 27. We follow the traditional Uptown route. I'll share more from my Mardi Gras adventures as we get closer to the date. 

For now, I fully intend to embrace the fact that I was doing everything wrong when it came to glitter. Glitter is not a craft item to be feared. It should be embraced, although carefully, with craft or wax paper protecting the table and a vacuum at the ready. To paraphrase the Blue Oyster Cult, don't fear the glitter.