Audrey Hepburn makes it looks so easy

I love the movie Funny Face starring Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire. It's probably one of the first movies I saw that was set in Paris (maybe this is where the obsession began). Audrey Hepburn plays a super serious bookstore clerk who is "discovered" by Fred Astaire, a photographer for the fictional Quality magazine. He decides she's the next "Quality Woman" and this translates into a trip to Paris, several musical numbers, a fashion designer designing a line for her, a philosopher only interested in one thing (and it's not Audrey's ideas on empathy), and an awkward love story between Audrey and Fred. Oh and the magnificent Kay Thompson as the magazine's editor (yes, she also wrote the Eloise books).

This trio makes Paris look so easy. Especially Audrey's character, Jo. She's never been before but she magically knows where everything is. In one of the less "here's a song so Fred Astaire can dance" musical numbers, the three belt out "Bonjour Paris" as they tour around the entire city in the space of hours.

I don't actually think this is how Paris works. I guess you could do all these things in the space of hours (even if you literally landed 10 minutes ago since jet lag didn't exist in 1957) but it would be a challenge. I doubt you'd enjoy yourself very much either. I spent much of my first full day in Paris getting slightly turned around going from the Arc de Triomphe to the Eiffel Tower. I found my way but I would not have been able to make to all the other places Kay, Fred, and Audrey visit if my rate of wrong turns continued at the pace of the day. And I would have ended up being a huge grump.

Improbability aside, my favorite thing about this song is that they all end up at the Eiffel Tower (and there's the weird "let's not fight" part of the song). How could they not end up there? The Eiffel Tower is the symbol Paris (and France) for many people. It's certainly one place that I have dreamed of visiting since I was a little girl. I felt like I was playing peek-a-boo with it all morning. As I walked toward the Arc de Triomphe, I could see the very top of the Eiffel Tower from behind some trees. And then it disappeared. Then I'd see it again and it would disappear again like it was taunting me. It should be easy to find arguably the most famous monument in the world right?

You would think that's true but this is me and well, I sometimes make easy things extremely difficult.

I may love maps but I have a terrible sense of direction (most of the time) and my map reading skills leave something to be desired. Of course, my smartphone is stupid here in France so I'm unable to use it for anything. It's both frustrating and liberating to not be able to use it - I could have used it today that's for sure. Anyway, I had directions from one to the other but somehow missed one of the turns so I ended up walking along Avenue Victor Hugo and then didn't know where to go. I wasn't really going in the right direction nor was I going in the wrong direction. I eventually figured out which street was the right one and ended up taking a very circuitous path to get to the Eiffel Tower. I finally found my way to Avenue d'Iena and voila - the Eiffel Tower was just across the Seine.

I have been imagining being at the Eiffel Tower for most of my life. I've been having a hard time describing the feeling of this visit. Everything I come up with sounds like a cliche or isn't quite right. Just seeing it was awe-inspiring. The engineering and construction alone is amazing. And then add to it that you can go to the summit - the very top of the tower at something like 917 feet. Crazy.

This was the only ticket I purchased before arriving. I didn't want to wait in line all afternoon (just part of the afternoon). It took about 30 minutes to get from the base to the first stop on the second level. Here you can take pictures, buy some Eiffel Tower merchandise, and have a coffee. If you continue around, you join the line to le Sommet, the very top of the Eiffel Tower. It's only accessible by elevator (you can walk to the first and second levels if you'd like - I believe it's 300 stairs to the second level) and you have to make sure to buy the right ticket. I'm not really afraid of heights but I'm not a huge fan of weird elevators or lifts that operate on the side of mountains or 900+ feet structures (ask my family about that time we went on the Incline Railway in Chattanooga). I stayed towards the back during the ride to the second level but was front and center for the ride to the summit. Thankfully, I couldn't understand anyone in the lift with me. I'm certain they were making jokes about cables snapping and us plummeting to our deaths.

It was so worth it to go to the summit - scary but worth it. The view was stunning and I rewarded myself with a glass of champagne. There were a few people standing against the tower. They didn't want to step closer to the edge and look out. As I stepped closer, I asked an American couple to take my picture. The woman agreed but I noticed her hands shaking a bit. She said she didn't want to get too close to the edge so she'd be happy to stand back and take a few pictures. I stayed on the summit for a little while longer and then made my way back down. Less nervous this time but still in awe of being at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

The day was perfectly sunny and warm - like something out of Funny Face. I like to think it was a little "Bonjour Paris" just for me.

Bonjour Paris!

Bonjour Island readers! I've made it to Paris and have not fallen asleep yet (it was a very long travel day and half). Even though it will still be light out, I will probably be in bed by 8 pm - don't judge.

I spent today wandering around my neighborhood getting a feel for things. I found two of the Metro stations, the grocery store, and two shopping centers (for lack of a better word). And cafe after cafe after cafe. It's a nice area - easy to get around and find my way back to le petit studio.




I rented a very petit studio for the week in the 8th and 9th arrondissements. The Paris Opera is not too far from here. I'm right near Boulevard Haussmann and two Metro stations so getting around is going to be easy. However, I think the stairs in the building may actually be the death of me. I don't know what I was expecting - I'm on the sixth floor of a very old building. I guess the stairs will balance all the macarons and cheese that I plan to eat while here. The room is tiny and will be perfect for when I'm gone all day and just need a place to sleep at the end of the day (if I can make it to the top floor). And also not fight with the key. It's an ongoing battle that I intend to win.

I can't say enough good things about my host. I found out today that he's lived in Louisiana (grew up there? - I'm still a little unsure of that part), went to LSU, and owns condos in Baton Rouge. Small world, I guess. His cousin, Pascal, picked me up at the airport and told me all of this. We talked about Louisiana and he made some recommendations for what to do while I'm here. He also suggested that I dedicate my blog this week to observing the French and writing about them. He thought I'd find that the cliches are true!

After getting settled in le petit studio, I walked around the neighborhood a bit and got some lunch. It just so happened that there was a park not too far from the place I stopped. I got my lunch to go and went and sat in the Square Louis XVI. It is the only public place in Paris named for the monarch and it contains the atoning chapel which memorializes Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette (they were originally buried here). It was nice to just sit in a quiet park off a very busy street and not do anything. People watching is going to be my new favorite thing. This is what I'm here to experience and enjoy.

It doesn't hurt that I purchased a pistachio macaron (not from Laduree - that's tomorrow) too. Heavenly.

Tomorrow: the Eiffel Tower and who knows what else?!

A Tale of Two Concerts, Part 2: There was a high school reunion at Wolf Trap and it was actually fun

High school reunions are supposed to be fun right? That's what movies teach us at least. You go to your reunion, have a few drinks, take a look at how everyone has aged, and realize you're doing okay. You didn't like most of these people in high school but they turned into decent people that you don't mind seeing every five years. I haven't attended any of my high school reunions so I don't really have any personal experience with this. I imagine that every high school reunion is a cross between Romy & Michelle and Grosse Pointe Blank.

I was thinking about this as I sat at Wolf Trap waiting for The Psychedelic Furs to take the stage to open for The Go-Go's. Since almost every reunion movie I've seen is about people who graduated high school in the 80s, this is the soundtrack of their lives. The Psychedelic Furs are probably best known for the song "Pretty in Pink." It was used as the title song for the Molly Ringwald/John Hughes film Pretty in Pink. The song wasn't written for the film; Molly Ringwald was a fan of the band and suggested that Hughes use it in the film. He did and the song and the movie became forever linked. The song was actually re-recorded to better fit the film because it's actually not about an innocent high school girl who falls in love with a popular boy. It's about a girl who sleeps around and thinks everyone loves her but they don't. Not really high school love triangle/prom themed.

I've always liked The Psychedelic Furs; "Pretty in Pink" was the first song of theirs I ever heard but I've come to love "All This And Nothing", "Love My Way", "Heartbreak Beat", and "Heaven" (definitely rock and roll love songs). The Furs were part of that post-punk era of British bands that lead into New Wave so all their songs are a little moody, arty, and sound much sadder than they actually are. Watching the crowd last night, I could see them all in their bedrooms as teenagers obsessively listening to these songs and attaching them to someone - the boy they secretly liked or their first love. Or maybe "All This And Nothing" or "Heaven" was the song at their prom but they stayed home or didn't have anyone to dance with. I don't know everyone's life but I definitely felt like I was magically transported to 1986.

The high school reunion feeling continued as The Go-Go's took the stage. By this time we had moved passed the "I'm Erin and I'm a (fill in the blank) now. No I don't have children. Yes, I was in theatre in high school" phase of the reunion and into the "everyone has had a few and loosened up and are dancing" phase.
I could spot the popular girls, the punk girls, and the artsy boys. And they were all dancing together and singing along. Everyone was getting along and having a good time because that's what happens at reunions - everyone gets along. Anita even got her wish for a Belinda Carlisle song (although I don't think it was the one she wanted) and there was a sort of odd/sort of awesome mash-up of "We've Got the Beat" and "Rock and Roll All Night." I'm also not entirely sure that Belinda Carlisle has aged at all. We were pretty close and she looks exactly the same. She also danced around like a pixie the entire time. Jane Wiedlin will always be my favorite Go-Go; she looked like she was wearing a Star Trek uniform. She and the bass player (new member) had some awesome moments. The Go-Go's are the band you want to be friends with.They could probably teach me how to correctly apply eyeliner.

Maybe live concerts serve as some sort of catharsis for people. When you hear "Love My Way" live you come to accept that high school wasn't that terrible (or was and you're glad it's over) and you're a better, more interesting person now. Listening to "Head Over Heels" or "Vacation" or "Mad About You" may remind you of the awesomeness/agony of crushes and first loves and "We Got the Beat" reminds us that it's all about having fun and being amazing. Regardless, sometimes it's fun just to be nostalgic and dance like no one is watching.

I'm off to Paris on Monday for a much needed vacation. I'm going to try to post a few times while I'm there but I make no promises. Au revoir Island readers!

A Tale of Two Concerts Part 1: How are things on the Best Coast?

There is nothing better than seeing your favorite band live. Hearing a song live, especially one you've been obsessively listening to, changes the it. I've always felt it becomes more real and it's a cool feeling to hear hundreds or thousands of your new best friends sing it with you. You're with other people who get it and your music love. Every time I leave a concert, I feel like the universe makes sense. And I dream of being in a rock band.

Of course, I'm also an old lady concert goer. Sometimes I just want to punch my fellow concert goers in the face (and you know I'm not the violent type) because they're acting like morons. Just because we both really like this band doesn't mean I'm cool with you spilling your drink on me or yelling out "Freebird" during a song break. But just like I'm able to leave my Type A planner behind while I'm in Paris, I can keep the old lady hidden too.

I love the band Best Coast (favorite songs: "Boyfriend" and "Up All Night"). Best Coast sounds like southern California – hazy (it could be the smog), lo-fi, dreamy, sunny, and a little sad all at the same time. The guitars make me think of Beach Boys classics like “Surfer Girl” and “In My Room” both of which I love dearly. There's also an early Doors vibe going on (think "Love Street" or "Hello, I Love You" era Doors). It’s like surfer music for people who don’t surf and may not even like the beach. Their first album came out around the time I moved to California and I stalked the song "Boyfriend" on the radio (that's what I do when I love a song - I listen to it 500 times a day). The lyrics are killer. Try listening to a song and not identify with something Bethany is singing about.

Anyway, Best Coast played at the 9:30 Club last week and it was awesome. I wasn't going to go originally but my friend, Upendra, convinced me that I couldn't possibly miss seeing one of my favorite bands. Being the good friend that he is, he even bought me a ticket for my birthday. His girlfriend, Melanie, came too. They were part of my Record Store Day group this year. Melanie and I both purchased the David Bowie release Drive-In Saturday Night - Bowie has a way of bringing us all together. And Melanie loves Jack White (possibly more than I do).
If you've never been to the 9:30 Club, go. I'll go with you if you'd like (I need a concert friend for Loretta Lynn in July if anyone is interested). It was just named Best Big Room in America by Rolling Stone. It's one of my favorite concert venues in DC and you can get a free cupcake on your birthday (if you're part of their rewards program Friends with Benefits as both Melanie and I are). The cupcake is a homemade version of a Hostess cupcake and was good. It would have been better if it hadn't been cold.

Back to Best Coast: Bethany Cosentino has a pretty specific style and there were a lot of Bethany look alikes or at least DC girls trying to look like they're from SoCal and in a rock band. We were not the oldest people there (although that was a possibly when we first arrived) but I'm assuming those were parents waiting for their kids. I was also surprised at the number of guys with their girlfriends who also seemed to honestly like the music. Best Coast must be a band that couples can love together. Odd considering that many of their songs are about getting your heart stomped on. We made friends with the couple in front of us through a mutual love of Wayne's World and Melanie and I discovered that we are complimentary concert woo-ers (you know when you cheer for a band at the end of a song). This may or may not have gotten us a few looks but whatever - people need to understand the power of a good "wooooooo" at the end of a song. They closed the encore with "Boyfriend" - great end to a great concert. 

I've been to a lot of concerts this year but this is the first one where I truly enjoyed the entire experience. No old lady concert moments (Upendra had a backpack with him and I said nothing), singing along, discussing how people danced in the 80s (with visuals), and hanging out with friends. It was a great way to start my birthday celebrations off and felt like the start of summer. 

This weekend: A Tale of Two Concerts, Part 2: All rock songs are love songs (or something like that) 

What's your sign?

You know what I love? A good birthday tradition. Maybe you have your cake at the exact moment you were born (and it's always the same cake right?) or you go to the same restaurant to celebrate. Maybe you like adventure on your b-day so maybe a scavenger hunt or an extreme sport of some kind. Or like Rory on Gilmore Girls, your mom wakes you up at an ungodly hour and tells the story of your birth in a particularly dramatic fashion (with flashbacks of course). Whatever the tradition, having a personal way to celebrate your day is the right way to go.

I have two traditions that I particularly enjoy:

1. Taking the day off and going to see a movie. Watching a matinee on a workday seems decadent, like staying in your pjs all day. And popcorn and Twizzlers are involved - win.
2. I cut out my horoscope on my birthday, tape it to the fridge for the whole year, and then reflect on it on my next birthday. 

I'm not entirely sure when I started this second tradition. If I look back through my journals, it seems like it was after college and after I moved back to Louisiana in 2002. This would also be around the time I started living in my own apartment rather than having roommates so it makes sense. I always tape the previous year's horoscope in my journal and take a few minutes to reflect on whether or not it was even remotely accurate. Who doesn't enjoy reading their horoscope once a year? People who don't like fun - that's who.

I am a Gemini, an air sign that is considered a thinking person's sign. In general, Geminis are imaginative, witty, adaptable, and talkers. They're fiercely independent and make excellent storytellers. Oh, and we're never boring (that's one of my favorite descriptors). They're also a little flighty and indecisive (dual nature and all). I think these things all describe me pretty well although I think it's interesting that Geminis are most often considered extroverts but I'm not. I identify more with the more classic personality traits associated with introverts when it comes to social interactions and my thought process. I guess the contradictions all make sense in a big picture kind of way.

This was my horoscope last year, compliments of the San Francisco Chronicle. Change was definitely a big part of this last year for me. I moved back to Virginia to a new apartment and neighborhood. I took on a new role at work that is, well, steeped in change and being adaptable. I've made some specific life changes in my quest to be the leading lady of my own life. New friends and social situations have been a hallmark of my move back. I'm trying (and apparently succeeding) in calming the Type A/planner part of me when needed. This is something I never thought I be able to do.

Did adventurous Jupiter bring me more change than I can handle? That's really the important part of this horoscope. I'm torn on the answer. While many great things have happened this year and have been totally manageable, I've also experienced a lot of frustration along the way. Change isn't easy (it's not supposed to be) and being an adaptable person doesn't always mean that you won't feel frustrated and angry and just over it. I've had these feelings a lot this year. I'm hopeful that it's all leveling out now and I can shift my focus onto more positive things. I joke about suffering from ennui but I'm only sort of joking. One of my friends recently asked if ennui was a marketable skill - probably only if you're a cat with its own YouTube channel.

Of course, who knows what this next year will bring? This year's horoscope could be the predictor of all sorts of amazing things. It's place on my fridge is one of honor, between an Elvis postcard and my Spike magnet. The King and a vampire - right where a horoscope belongs.

Happy Birthday to all you Geminis out there and a special Happy, Happy Birthday to all the June 11 babies - it's amazing how much awesomeness can be brought into the world on one day!

If only the Type A part of me would take a vacation

 In just about nine days, I will be leaving on a jet plane and heading to Paris for the first time ever. I have to admit that I'm only now starting to feel really excited about this trip. This sounds so ridiculous when I say it out loud. I blame ennui (which is a very French thing to do).

Since the reality of the trip is finally settling in, it's now time for my favorite/least favorite part of any trip I take: planning. I know I am an exceptional planner. I love lists, am insanely prompt, and really enjoy a good map. I am not all that spontaneous. That being said, I also acknowledge that sometimes, particularly when it comes to travel, it's okay, nay, totally acceptable to just wing it. And by winging I mean not planning every second of every day that you're on vacation or on a trip.

I've been trying my best to embrace this concept of winging it (since I imagine this is what leading ladies do) despite the fact that my inner planner is having a nuclear level meltdown that I haven't planned everything yet. I've done the important things: booked my flight and rented my apartment (done months ago); figured out the closest Metro station to the apartment (I think); made copies of my passport; secured an international phone (thanks to one of my friends who is awesome); and started to map out my days in a general way. However, I cannot actually tell you what I will be doing when I'm there. This seems to annoy everyone who asks me about the trip. In the last week I've been asked this about twenty times and people make faces when I tell them that I can't really say. The three most common questions I get are:

1. You're going alone? (Not so much a question I guess more like a statement said in a quizzical way.)
2. Are you going to fall in love with some French guy and never come back? (Or some variation depending on the friend and how much they've had to drink.)
3. What are you doing while you're there? You don't know? What's wrong with you?

I don't have a good answer to any of these questions and usually ignore the first two with a laugh and a smile. But the third one is getting to me. We all travel differently and I'm trying a new approach with this trip. I know the arrondissements/quartiers/neighborhoods I want to visit and have a general sense of some of the things I'd like to see while visiting each one. What I want to be able to do, though, is walk out the door with a general sense of the part of the city I'm going to and just go. See what happens along the way. Yes, I will buy my ticket to the Eiffel Tower in advance and be there at the agreed upon time (and have a glass of champagne at the very top) but how I get there is the key. I can walk in the most direct path available OR I can wander and see what I see. Isn't that the way to experience things? Get lost a bit and find something you weren't looking for? If we're to believe all the travel writers ever the beauty of travel is in the unexpected.

So I'm sorry Type A part of my personality - you don't get to win this time. I'll let you have your packing list, travel information file (with a copy for my mom of course), and you get to buy a ticket in advance for the Eiffel Tower this week. But that's all you get. Paris is not for planning.

Time to dig out some scarves and hope that my quirky Americanness is seen as alluring and charming.


Next time on the Island: A Tale of Two Concerts - chronicling my old lady concert going ways at the Best Coast and Go-Go's shows.

You're Doing Everything Wrong: 1949 called and wants to teach you how to land a man

Welcome to my new monthly Island post: You're Doing Everything Wrong! In these posts, I'll discuss a topic that I am seemingly doing wrong by some standard. On my quest to be a leading lady, I need to take stock of what I could being doing better. After all, it's about self-improvement.

Today's topic: dating and seducing a man.

I don't know if you know about Buzzfeed but if you don't, please take a moment to leave the cave you've been living in and find the nearest Internet cafe (do these exist anymore?) or public library that will allow you online for 10 minutes.You will immediately find the cutest animals on the planet, every possible cat GIF that one could ever need, and lots of 90s nostalgia - and then be sucked in forever. Buzzfeed appeals to my love of lists, trivia, and baby animals. Several months ago, I found a post on Buzzfeed about seducing a man 1940s style. The post linked to an article from The Atlantic about this list which was originally part of Esquire's Handbook for Hosts published in 1949 (and sadly now out of print). The author(s) of the handbook posed a series of questions for a female audience to answer and, hopefully, hone their skills on seducing the perfect 1940s man. Misogyny aside, this list is hilarious. And of course, now I can benefit from this knowledge.

Now we all know that I'm incredibly socially awkward when it comes to dating and men. I ramble, I make really stupid jokes, and am a bit self-deprecating. Romantic comedies have trained me well in the ways of love. I assume because of these things that I will end up wandering the planet alone like the Incredible Hulk. I guess in this scenario at least I'll have intense rage and the possibility of membership in a superhero squad to look forward to.

Clearly I'm doing everything wrong when it comes to men and 1949 is here to prove it to me. Let's take a look at what I'm doing wrong:

• I'm not trendy all the time and sometimes look a little less than impeccable - we all have our days, even our man friends. I'm guessing the editors of this guide also didn't think that women sweat in the summer and should always wear makeup. I believe I have "reliable" taste as the gentlemen of Esquire recommend but I'm not daring enough to "arouse admiring stares." Carrie Bradshaw I am not and don't care.
• I can hold my liquor so I'm probably loose or have a bad reputation (totally not true by the way). As a young woman who grew up and went to college in the South, I believe holding your liquor is a requirement as long as you remain a lady. I'm also a firm believer in seasonal drinking - you should change your alcohol to reflect the season (clear alcohols, lighter beers, and white wine for summer; whiskey, dark beers, and red wine in the winter, and bourbon always).
• I don't have two comfy chairs in my living room so no man will ever relax enough in my home to fall in love with me. I have one moderately comfy chair, a sort of comfy loveseat, and a terribly uncomfortable dining room set. Possibly my favorite part of the Esquire answer is "No man can fall in love unless he has the chance to relax and he can't if either of you sits bolt upright." I'm not sure what to say about this but I will say this if comfort is important for falling in love, then I am going to forgo binding date clothes and high heels. Comfy chair my ass.
• I have hobbies - I like to think they make me interesting but 1949 says no.
• I can't deal with boring. This is why I couldn't handle online dating - so many of my dates were so boring once we actually met. Why should I waste my time making small talk with someone who can't articulate anything?
• I don't make the first move. I blame this on being an introvert.
• I cannot play bridge and I prefer not to dance in public. Bridge seems like something from the realm of old ladies and Junior League members (no offense to either). As for dancing, well, I occasionally tell people that I'm from that town in Footloose to get out of dancing in public. I don't dislike dancing - I just know I look a bit spastic when I dance. Not Elaine spazzy, just not normal.
• I can be incredibly indecisive about really trivial things like where to go to dinner, what to do on a Friday night, and what I want to drink. Here's the thing - I also have had a history of dating incredibly indecisive men. If it takes you months or years to ask me out, then shut up about my inability to pick a restaurant with any speed.

So now that I know what I'm doing wrong, what do I do with this information? Do I spend my time and lots of money becoming a fashion icon or invest in some new furniture (that I don't have the space for right now)? Do I give up my hobbies and settle for uninteresting because I shouldn't be picky? Should I limit my alcohol intake to white wine spritzers and Cosmos? Should I take ballroom dancing (actually I can behind this one)? Does anyone know how to play bridge?

The answer is probably none of the above. I may not be doing most things right when it comes to matters of the heart but I know that most of the helpful hints from the editors of Esquire aren't right either. Ultimately that's the problem with dating isn't it? There's no magic formula or checklist we can use to make it work.