We got Annie

When I was a little girl, my favorite movie was the musical Annie. I could watch the movie everyday and not tire of it...just ask my parents, my brother, and my Aunt Pat. They all hate this movie with a passion and it is entirely my fault. As an adult, I still have an affection for the movie but it's mostly due to my love of national treasures Ann Reinking, Bernadette Peters, and Carol Burnett, and adopted national treasure, Tim Curry. The movie is worth it simply to watch these four performers have so much fun.

My family has teased me about my love of Annie forever. This is probably a better things to be teased about than say most of the clothes I wore between 1987 and 1995 or my love of New Kids on the Block. I hated the teasing over the years, but it led me to the discovery of the cat we all know and love as Pumpkin.

I moved to Hawaii after graduating from college. My dad was stationed at Ft. Shafter and I had zero idea of what to do with my life, so I took my parents up on the offer to live at home while I figured it out. I enrolled in a graduate program at the University of Hawaii Manoa (not a great idea) and found a job working at Diamondhead Theatre. The only downside was that I had to leave my cat, Molly, behind in New Orleans. Mainland pets have to be quarantined for several weeks and it's expensive. Molly was adopted by a friend of mine and lived a wonderful life in New Orleans. My parents knew I was disappointed about leaving Molly behind so they decided to "get me" a cat for Christmas (they paid the adoption fees at the SPCA). We decided to go to the shelter while my brother was visiting for the holidays so the whole family could be involved in finding the cat.

Right before we went to the find my cat, my dad saw an ad in the paper featuring an orange cat named Annie. He joked that he had found "my cat" and we had a nice laugh over. I don't remember if I called to see if she was still there or not; I don't think I did. I feel like we decided to see if she was still there when we got there. Cats are particular about people so I didn't want to get my heart set on her and then she didn't like me. In my heart, though, I really wanted that particular cat. I wanted to be her human.

The experience of going to an animal shelter is overwhelming. There are so many animals that need love and a good home. Unfortunately, many of them don't find that home and it's sad to think about what happens to them. The areas for cats are often the most full parts of shelters; people abandon cats with a frequency that has always alarmed me. At the SPCA we went to, the older cats were in the first room and were mostly allowed to roam and laze about as cats do. Since I was interested in adopting a younger cat, our SPCA lady walked us quickly through the open room to a smaller side room where younger cats were kept. I walked in behind the SPCA lady and moved forward so everyone else could come in. My dad stopped by the first set of cages while I started looking around. Not even a minute into the room I heard him say, "I think I found your cat." In the cage right next to him was Annie. She had stuck her little paw through the cage and tapped my dad on the shoulder as if to say "Hey buddy, I'm over here!" I walked over, she meowed, the lady let her out, she jumped into my arms, and the rest is history. This also explains why my father is her second favorite person. We renamed her Pumpkin, after a series of votes (where the popular vote actually mattered), and she came home on January 3, 2002. She spent her first few days soaking up the sun on the lanai and terrorizing geckos. Eventually, she would "patrol" the lanai to keep us safe from the wild pigs that roamed Ft. Shafter. She was always looking out for our safety...or something.

Pumpkin lived a great life. She got to live in Hawaii and California, two states many people covet as homes. She caught mice in my apartment in New Orleans to show me what a killer she was. She enjoyed torturing bugs who dared to come into our home. She made the sassiest faces, perfecting the side-eye shade like a freaking boss. She made me laugh, annoyed me, and comforted me when I needed it. I, in turn, fulfilled my role as her devoted human (with hundreds of photos to prove it). What I didn't realize was how much joy she brought other people, many of whom never met her. They only experienced her through social media posts and stories on the Island. It's amazing to me to see how much joy she brought people and how many commented on her "personality" and how they looked forward to following her adventures. She have ignored most of them in person, but what can I say? Cats are jerks. Tiny, fluffy, adorable jerks.

As I sat at the vet on Saturday waiting to hear what was wrong with her, another cat owner sat down next to me to wait for his cat. We started chatting as a very sinister looking dog came in to been seen by one of the vets. The man's cat's name is Charlie so I'll refer to him as "Charlie's dad." The ER vet who took care of Pumpkin was also taking care of Charlie. Charlie got into a fight with something and had a nasty scratch on his face that looked like it was infected. Charlie's dad asked me how long I'd been waiting. I told him what was going on with Pumpkin and that I had been there for about three hours at this point. He asked me a bunch of questions about her, our life, and asked for some fun stories about her. I shared all of this as one proud cat parent to another. When I was finished he said to me, "We only need two things in life: beauty and inspiration. Cats provide both. Whatever you decide to do today will be the right thing for Pumpkin. You might not think so now and you can be sad but she was both of those things to you. Remember that." He proceeded to tell me that he may have broken the law by letting his cat out (and then it got in a fight) and recommended I adopt two cats when I adopt my next pet (which he knows I will do) since cats should have friends. Obviously.

Thank you to everyone who has reached out about Pumpkin. Your kinds words mean a lot to me. I'm so glad she provided so much entertainment, sass, and cuteness over the years. Please enjoy some more photos of Pumpkin but before you do, take a listen to my favorite song from the movie version of Annie. This is definitely a song about Pumpkin.

In Which I Let a Stranger Select My Clothes

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to hear Margaret Wheeler, the Chief People & Culture Officer at Stitch Fix, give a talk about building a company culture. It was during an employee engagement conference; in the same conference similarly titled leaders from Hulu, Tesla, and Columbia Sportswear shared various insights into engaging employees in different ways and what makes their organization unique. Wheeler was my favorite presenter of the entire conference. She was fun to listen to and talking about an interesting challenge Stitch Fix has in that most of their employee base is made up of remote stylists. Engagement of in-office employees is a challenge; remote employees bring an entire level of complexity to the engagement conversation. Her session was about the use of pulse surveys in assessing company culture, which are quick, frequent surveys of employees to test the "health" of an organization (Get it? Health. Pulse. Ha.). Their organization deployed this type of survey and had a lot of success learning about their employees and what they needed. Questions ranged from very organization specific questions to more social/fun questions designed to paint a picture of the employee group as a whole.

One of the questions Wheeler* shared was this one: What is Stitch Fix doing for you to help you reach your goals?" The question stuck with me long after the conference. I wrote a blog for my then organization about the topic and would return to this question often over the last few years, particularly when I was struggling with something at work. The question wasn't necessarily about professional goals, although you could answer it that way. Wheeler went on to share that employees shared goals about travel, learning new skills, connecting with people from all over, and being bold enough to try something new. When I originally heard her talk, I was really focusing my writing and my work blog focused on how I felt my old company was helping me expand my writing skills and giving me opportunities to do more writing. I saw in Wheeler's question a reality for myself and my colleagues shared my opinion too. That certainly changed over time but I still keep coming back to this question over and over again. When I was in the middle of my recent job search, this question was part of my process for evaluating organizations. I was able to dismiss organizations if I felt like the role wouldn't be advantageous to me or my career. Obvious right? Not so much when you're in the job search hustle. 

As much as I enjoyed Wheeler and her thoughts about creating a strong organizational culture, I didn't run out and join Stitch Fix. Despite the fact that she is a super-fashionable woman and was wearing a gorgeous white dress, I didn't sign up. At the time, Stitch Fix was still limited in sizes so I wasn't sure that they would actually be able to find anything for me. I was doing alright on my own in the fashion department anyway; I didn't need a stranger to help me. I may not have ever received lessons in how to dress like a woman, but I was making fashion work for me. Which is the point. I love avant-garde fashion as much as the next person, but I'm never going to wear it. I want my clothes to make me feel good. As Ariell Johnson so bluntly put it, "Like all my clothes, when I put them on, I was not thinking of you." I feel like it's taken me for-freaking-ever to really embrace this philosophy, but embraced it I have.

The thing is, I really don't enjoy shopping. I like shopping when other people are looking for something. I will be your shoe sherpa forever but when it comes to shopping for myself, I don't enjoy it anymore. I can trace this change, because I used to enjoy shopping, to the rise of skinny jeans. Now, I have come to enjoy skinny jeans (more on this shortly) but their initial rise in popularity made it so hard for more fuller figured ladies (like myself) to find pants and jeans that looked good. Eventually, clothing designers got their shit together and figured out that skinny jeans are actually flattering for all body types and made versions that look good even if you have hips or larger calves. I own skinny jeans/pants in several colors and black and gray. I still love my boot cut jeans but I have given friends in skinny jeans.

Since I don't really enjoy shopping BUT I want to be fashionable in my own way, I decided that the time has come for me to join Stitch Fix. In the last few years, they've expanded their women's size range and added a fix for men. They're running a new line of commercials right now were incredibly convincing about how awesome I would feel getting my first "fix" (that's what they call each box) and how I would love everything in the box. So I signed up. When I say signed up, I don't mean a simple "enter my email and create a password" process. No, in addition to those steps, I also had to create a style profile for myself. This includes questions about fit, what I like and dislike in clothes and accessories, and a long list of sizing questions. I was also able to leave a note for my personal stylist about what I'm looking for in clothing.

I liked this part of the process. It feels personal and it's fun. I got to really focus on what I love about fashion and clothes. I talked a lot about whimsical patterns and loving stripes and how I really love bold colors but also wear a lot of black. I want to look professional but also like me so a little humor and fun injected into things. I'd been cautioned by friends and some of my new co-workers to be very specific and provide feedback on my fixes or else I'd be disappointed. If you're going to pay for something, you should be honest about what you want. So I was very thorough with this stage. I even created a Pinterest board for my stylist to look at (no idea if she does this). Never ever did I think I would create a Pinterest board for anything. I'm never going to have a wedding in a reclaimed barn so why would Pinterest be in my life?

And then I waited. I selected the quarterly fix option so I had to wait a few weeks between signing up and receiving my first fix. While I was waiting, my newest acquisitions from Modcloth arrived in the mail. Leave it to Modcloth to finally allow me to realize my dream of finding work appropriate dinosaur patterned clothing.

It's such a great shirt...subtle dinosaurs. One of my co-workers didn't realize the pattern was dinosaurs until she sat next to me in a meeting. I also love this picture and I never love pictures of me. I'm not saying it's solely the dinosaur shirt but I it deserves a little bit of the credit.

Finally, my fix arrived. Of course, Pumpkin claimed the box as hers (see above photo) so I had to wait until she got distracted by air to actually open it. It did, in fact, feel a like Christmas. I was excited and a little nervous about what I would find once I opened the box. Would this stranger hit the mark or be so off base that I'd end up disappointed? Would I love everything in the box so much that I'd spend money I really shouldn't on buying all the things?  I was cautiously optimistic that this fix was going to be fabulous.

And fabulous it was. First, let's discuss the lovely packaging that is a Stitch Fix box. Talk about a perfectly integrated brand. Everything goes together to invite me into the fashion club I now belong to. 

I "met' my stylist, Jami. According to the clothing guide included, she was "digging" a classic vibe for my first fix. She selected pieces that would be work appropriate and fun to wear more casually (exactly what I asked for). There were stripes and bold colors and a cute dress (lacking pockets but rocking sleeves). Jami seemed to get me.

Each fix includes five items that vary depending on my profile selections. Since I selected clothing and accessories, this fix included four clothing options and a necklace. The necklace was not my style but still nice. I put it aside and focused on the clothes. I wanted to keep all four items before I tried anything on. I liked everything. I didn't think I would but I did. I was hoping it would all fit...that would be the true test of whether Jami and I would continue on this fashion journey together or if I would run far, far away from future fixes.

I started with the one item that I truly hoped would fit me: a navy and striped three-quarter length sleeve top. I love stripes and think navy is one of the most underrated clothing colors in the world. It's also super soft and could be casual with jeans or a little dressier with a cute skirt and heels. I love this shirt. I decided the second I put it on that I would be keeping it. I should also note that none of the brands were familiar to me; that's another thing I like about Stitch Fix. I'm getting access to brands I wouldn't normally find or even know about.

Next up...the dress. I wanted to like this dress. Also in navy, it was a good length (just at the knee) and the addition of sleeves made me happy. However, it had an odd front panel that made me think of a nun's habit and it was a little big in the top. I don't have a full length mirror or a selfie stick so the picture isn't great but you get the idea. My feedback on this was "style is good, fit is off, panel is weird."

While they weren't styled together in the guide that came with my fix, I decided to try the last two items on together. Like the first shirt, I immediately liked both items and was hopeful they would fit.

Yes, that's a pair of fuchsia skinny jeans and a black lace top. I'm currently obsessed with these pants. I thought I loved my purple Elle skinny jeans but they have nothing on these. They fit perfectly. Pants never fit me perfectly. They're the right length and hit correctly at the waist. Turns out, this particular style is a Stitch Fix exclusive. I want to wear these pants every day. Did I mention they have real pockets? They do. It's so great. The top was nice but again, fit was an issue. It was a little big in the bust area so the drape was off.

Please excuse my cluttered sink.

All in all, my first fix was awesome. I kept two pieces and sent the rest back. After trying it all on and packaging up the rejects (although they were very nice rejects), I logged onto my account any provided Jami with feedback on each item. I hope she enjoys my enthusiasm for the fuchsia pants as much as I enjoy wearing them. In theory, Jami will use my feedback, her stylist knowledge, and seasonal trends to curate my next box. Since shipping my items back, I received a few emails from the company encouraging me to share my latest obsession (I would if I had a good photo of me in those pants) and how to transition summer items into fall. Now all that's left to do is obsessively add items to my Pinterest board while I await my November fix.

Pumpkin is a fan of the fuchsia pants too.

*Video is from a different conference on a similar topic. She's awesome.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Sharknados

I'm not entirely sure what I just watched. It might have been an Indiana Jones homage. It might have been a classic sci-fi creature. It's possible it's a weird rom-com. Or maybe a long-form advertisement for extreme sports. It's very possible it's a religious movie that also involves time travel. A lot of things happened in the space of this movie and we've been set up for more. But I still have no idea what I just finished watching. I was treated to a nice little interview featuring the creator and director of the Sharknado films, Anthony C. Ferrante, last Friday and on top of proving he is the nicest human being in the film industry, he basically confirmed that we will be watching Sharknado movies for the rest of our lives.

I'm torn on this. On one hand, I love the Sharknado movies. They're ridiculous, campy, completely unbelievable, and a wonderful testament to the power of social media to drive fandoms. The cast and crew seem dedicated to making these movies and from what Ferrante says in the interview, they commit to the most ridiculous ideas because they're enjoying being part of this franchise. Many of them, most notably Ian Ziering and Tara Reid, have salvaged their careers with these films. On the other hand, I don't actually believe we need any more of these movies. Five was way too many despite the fact that there are some delightful things in the fifth one (we'll get to these shortly). I'll continue to grapple with my love/hate/love/hate relationship with these movies and provide the service I always promise you: I watch these movies so you don't have to BUT you can feel like you did.

Let's dive into Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (pun intended).

1. There are an incredible amount of movie references in this one. I can only assume Ferrante was watching Stranger Things between movies and was like, "I'm going to do my homage to everything ever because I can! With sharks!" We've got, and these are just the ones I caught, Indiana Jones, a Godzilla reference, Back to the Future, James Bond references, an Infinity Stones/Marvel inspired plotline, the Brendan Fraser Mummy movies, and possibly a veiled Terminator reference although I may just be projecting that one.
2. Remember nothing good ever comes of repelling into cave or spelunking. Nothing.
3. Nova! She's actually back this time (seriously she was what was missing from the entire second and fourth movies). Nova belongs to the single greatest creation of the sharknado universe (yes, I just typed that sentence): the Sharknado Sisterhood. Seriously, why are we only now learning that they exist? More on the sisterhood shortly. "Please tell me you've started a band not a cult." Funniest thing Ian Ziering has ever said in his entire career.
4. I don't think they know how NATO or British people work. No one says "chap" that much.
5. Of course the sharknados are from the past and there are basically Infinity Stones at certain places around the world (Stonehenge, the pyramids) to keep it all in check. Of course this is why these things happen. It's not the Shepard family despite the fact that they are always in the middle of it. I know I said before that I don't blame them but now I'm not so sure.
6. Don't touch anything you find in a cave under Stonehenge, especially if it's surrounded by sharks. Haven't you ever watched a movie in your life?
7. "Don't aggravate the sharks." Say it in a delightful British accent for the full affect.
8. Took 15 full minutes for a "London Bridge is falling down" joke.
9. Normally the cameos make me laugh but we have to talk about Bret Michaels (which may also be the title of my first memoir for no apparent reason but that it's a great title). What is this even about? Why is he in London? Why is he randomly walking down the street? Why does he randomly have a guitar and starts playing once attached to the bus? Does he die? I missed it if he did. Why is Bret Michaels here? Vince Neil made sense in the one he was in; he was in Las Vegas which is basically the only place Vince Neil can feel like a normal human. There is literally no reason for Bret Michaels to be in London.
10. I still really dislike April and spent most of this movie cringing every time she speaks...which is often. Oh and she flies. Remember, she's a cyborg now.
11. So Gil, the youngest Shepard child, gets sucked into the sharknado, Fin rides a shark into Buckingham Palace so he can stop it from killing the Queen, and Charo is the Queen of England. All of this happened before the opening title sequence.  
12. Slow motion running = tragedy has occurred.
13. "We should have never gone into that cave." Understatement of the year.
14. Y'all, Nichelle Nicols is in this movie. Uhura is in this movie. But so is the Dance Moms woman, Chris Kattan, and Geraldo Rivera so maybe her appearance is negated by Geraldo. I don't know if there's some form of cameo math at work here. For everyone that's cool and amusing, there are six that are stupid.
15. And suddenly we're in Switzerland because now the sharknado is actually a transporter and people who are sucked into it just end up in another country. Maybe the sharknado isn't all that bad if you don't have to deal with the airlines anymore.
16. Meanwhile back in Kansas (literally), the other Shepard son is preparing a bunker of sorts with a weird old guy and foreshadowing his ultimate demise. The Shepard kids get the short end of every stick in these movies.
17. How does this movie even work? They're in Australia now and there are sharks in the water (where they belong) and April is injured even though they all jump in punching sharks in the face. I really thought she would die at this point and then Fin and Nova would end up together as the Goddess of Inappropriately Aged Co-Stars intended. 
18. Wait, is this movie actually about women running the world? Is Beyonce going to burst in and save the world by dropping a new album, having triplets, and having flawless hair all at the same time? The Sharknado Sisterhood is the part of this movie that I was expecting the least but love the most. It's like every 90s movie involving a woman in a cat suit met up with Wonder Woman and the Women's March and this is what we got. Olivia Newton-John is here making both Grease and Xanadu references and making April over in a way that would make Sandy proud but makes me rage-ful. She also says, "Don't get too physical."
19. Tony Hawk! My favorite cameo of this film because obviously skateboarding will save the world.
20. "The Paxton Initiative" - is that a reference to Bill Paxton? I really hope it is.
21. So now we're in Brazil and we've learned that the stone they took is one of several (See? Infinity Stones.) that allows a person to control the sharknados. And of  course a shady dude (played by Greg Louganis) steals it so we get a car chase through sharknados via Italy.
22. Which leads us to Downtown Julie Brown and Pope Fabio. Apparently, Downtown Julie Brown is an emissary of the Pope. Nothing makes sense anymore.
23. The sharks have gone nuclear and are heading to Japan because of course they are.
24. "Clear your mind of all thoughts." Shouldn't be hard with this movie.
25. They've created a Sharkzilla! I repeat, they've created a Sharkzilla!
26. There's the Xfinity plug I was waiting for. It took almost the entire movie for it to appear. Crazy.
27. Followed closely by our required "Today Show" appearance. Thank goodness for Kathie Lee, Hoda, and Al. I enjoy every instance of Al beating sharks to death with a baseball bat.
28. The Sisterhood arrives in Japan dressed for battle like they're going to either a stripper convention or a very dark bachelorette party. Nova jumps into the Sharkzilla/sharknado to save Gil (yes, we're still trying to save him although I've made no reference too him because too much is going on). And then Nova dies. Yes, of all the people to die, Nova dies. Fucking Shepard family ruins everything.
29. The only thing missing from this movie is Gilbert Gottfried. Oh wait, there he is, introducing us to "safarinados." If he had only screamed "Damned, dirty sharks" this movie would be complete for me. 
30. So they try to go back to Stonehenge to right the wrong of removing the stone but end up in Egypt at another temple to sharks (sure) located in a pyramid. Have we not learned anything, remaining members of the Shepard family? Don't touch anything. Don't go in the secret tomb you opened when you touched stuff. And don't turn on the ancient machine that you think might stop the sharknados. You'll just mess it up like you mess up everything else. 
31. And then...April dies. She sacrifices herself to save the world. Or something. Her somewhat grief-stricken husband picks up her cyborg head, ties it into a hobo pack, and starts his journey to find any survivors. 
32. Just when you thought we were at the end of these movies, Dolph Lundgren appears in a time machine/truck claiming to be future Gil Shepard. He's come back to save the world and bring everyone back from the dead (because all of the Shepards except Fin are dead). So they're going back in time because now we're in Back to the Future (they even used the same font). "Where we're going, you don't need a license." What I don't "understand" about this part is this: if he's gone back to the past and to the future to stop the sharknados, is Gil going to write himself out of history? Because if the first sharknado doesn't occur, his parents never get back together and he doesn't exist. Is that what the next movie is going to be about? 

There are about fifteen things I excluded from this list because as I was writing it I was thinking to myself, "this might be why I'm still single." I love suspending disbelief, particularly for campy, ridiculous sci-fi movies but at some point, the logical side of my life takes over and I'm back to where I was at the beginning of this post...I have literally no idea what I just watched.

Like all good things, it may be time for this one to come to an end.

Although, if Anthony C. Ferrante wants to make spinoff series of movies about the Sharknado Sisterhood, I'd be on board with that. I'd even send some suggestions to you about how to be better when it comes to creating strong female action heroes. I'm helpful that way.

Coming soon: I try StichFix and let some stranger on the internet select clothes for me. Let's see what she comes up with my first "fix." I'll also share my distrust of Pinterest and how to wear dinosaur themed clothes at work. We also need to tackle the glory that is GLOW (series and documentary) and tackle my fourth attempt at getting my meal planning act together. This time, it features chia seeds. All coming your way this August on the Island!!

Old habits die hard

I don't like strangers touching me. I know this is a relatively obvious statement to make; most of us don't like it when someone we don't know bumps into us on the street or our hands brush on the Metro. As I am female, I have also experienced my share of "being female in public" moments of dudes thinking it was appropriate to grab my butt or touch some part of my person at a bar. Nope, it is not appropriate. As the great Patrick Swayze once said, "This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine." I like to live my personal space life with occasional Johnny Castle quotes in my brain as it seems appropriate (he knew a thing or two about personal space). We can all agree that none of us enjoy these types of encounters with strangers. Don't get me started on sweaty crowds at music festivals.

When I say I don't like strangers touching me, I'm actually talking about people who are in professions where they may actually have to touch a person to do their jobs. This includes massage therapists, manicurists, hair stylists, and yoga instructors. I don't doubt that their intention is professional and in their clients' best interest but I find the type of familiarity that comes with these interactions somewhat exhausting. Several of my friends think this is strange, particularly the massage part since they find massages relaxing (I don't). And it's not like I don't make exceptions; I like my stylist and I have a favorite manicure place. I typically attribute my dislike of these types of interactions to my introverted, slightly Type A nature and call it a day.

One of the things I promised myself when I started my new job was that I would not fall into the patterns I've been living in my work life for the last past 5 years (maybe it was the last 10 but I'll just say 5 to be generous). This is the list I made for myself of habits I want to try to break:

• Eating lunch at my desk more than 3 times a week
• Not taking a break at least once per day
• Excessive baking
• Not taking advantage of all the perks, benefits, and fun stuff available to me
• Arriving early...every day
• Feeling like my phone is a new appendage and I must read all of my work emails immediately
• Not wasting my PTO
• Going out to lunch more than 3 times a week
• Only wearing jeans 2 times a week

It's not a work revolution I know but, when added up over time, these habits abet in creating a work life that feels like work. I want to enjoy where I work and what I do. Yes, the organization creates the culture and maybe encourages the habits. However, the reality is that I am part of the culture and the process. I have free will. I an adult lady who can do things. Attitude and practice are part creating habits.

I've been in the new job a month as of this week. A month is both a short and long time period depending on your perspective. I feel like it's gone by very quickly. I've done an incredible amount of work this month but have also only scratched the surface of the organization and my actual job. What's cool and satisfying is that I'm already contributing and getting things accomplished. Given my experience with onboarding new employees, I know this is not always the case when you start a new job. I like my new manager, my team, and many of the other people I've met since starting. I feel like I'm doing good work. There's a feeling of trust that I don't know I've ever felt this early in a new job. It's refreshing.

So how am I doing on breaking those old habits or at least not establishing new versions of them?

• Eating lunch at my desk more than 3 times a week - I'm trying so hard not to do this. There are multiple lunch/break rooms in the office plus and outdoor area that's not terrible even on a super hot day. I'm getting better but still need some improvement.
• Not taking a break at least once per day - Two weeks ago I starting walking around the outdoor track with two of my co-workers. It's about a 20 minute walk and I need to do the correct thing and put it on my calendar so I do this at least 3 times per week. And yes, I have walking buddies. I'm on the slow path of making friends at work.
• Excessive baking - Haven't baked a thing. I have a lot of feelings about this since I really love to bake but don't really want to get in the habit of bringing stuff to work. I'm not saying my new co-workers would be the same but there is a point where this becomes an expectation rather than a nice thing I do for people. I don't want to get into the expectation place again. Thankfully, I'm starting a monthly crafting get together with my friends so they will get all th baked goods and I'll at get some baking done and order will be restored to the universe. Or something.
• Not taking advantage of all the perks, benefits, and fun stuff available to me - We'll come back to this one in a moment
• Arriving early...every day - My commute is much longer now so I'm very aware of time as I start my day. I wake up, go to the gym, get ready, and am out of the house by 6:30. I'm at work by 7:20 and ready to start my day. My hours are earlier so I leave by 4:30. I think I've finally adjusted to the new schedule. I occasionally go to bed at 9 pm on a weekday. I am totally fine with this.
• Feeling like my phone is a new appendage and I must read all of my work emails immediately - Most of my direct team is located outside of the US so the bulk of my emails actually come in early in the morning given the time difference. I'm totally cool with this. I suspect this will change once the program I manage kicks off in September but for now, I'm managing my work email time quite well.
• Not wasting my PTO - Noted. I already have several uses for the days I'll have this calendar year AND I took the bonus holiday of July 3 (floating holiday) so I'm baby-stepping my way to taking time off.
• Going out to lunch more than 3 times a week - I've been pretty good about bringing my lunch but also reliant on the fact that we have a cafe in the building which is both awesome and terrible. This is a work in progress.
• Only wearing jeans 2 times a week - I am crushing this one! In a month, I've only worn jeans twice. I've always tried to wear clothes that are on the dressier side of casual so this hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. It also helps that everyone in the office is super stylish and incredibly put together in a very casual/professional way. They're very inspiring. Also, I may have just purchased business appropriate tops in dinosaur and cat patterns. I still have to be me.

As of this past Monday, I'm not the newest person on the team anymore. I was actually helpful to the person who started this past Monday. I could actually answer questions for her and shared the wisdom of my whole month of employment with the company with her. I know, it's great stuff.

Which brings us back to strangers touching me. One thing I've come to enjoy about this new organization is that they seem to have figured out how to have the perks of a typical tech company (ping pong table and Rock Band in the break room, car detailing on site, fresh fruit in the kitchen) without making it seem like they're pandering to some weird trend in HR or trying to be super cool to for the kids. Maybe I'm being naive but I don't believe so. There is an genuineness with these efforts that's hard to fake. One of these perks is monthly seated chair massages. It just so happened that the July day fell on my actual one month anniversary so I decided, in the interest of this new start, I would put aside my feelings and give it a try. The worst that could happen would be that it wasn't enjoyable and I'd never sign up again. The best? Well, my commuting stress would be massaged into submission.

It was somewhere in between. This is all set up in a large conference room on the first floor of the building. They darken the room and turn on soothing music. Each 10 minute time block includes four people; they do a nice job of setting up each chair in the space so it doesn't feel crowded. The massage therapist I was assigned to was very nice; I'm pretty sure he realized he was dealing with a slightly Type A person who is not great at relaxing on command (which is basically what a massage is in the big picture of life). I felt better afterward. I dived right back into work but the tension in my shoulders was gone (that's where my stress lives by the way). It was a positive experience. Will I do it again? Maybe. Even if I don't, I'm still trying to make a good work life for myself.

It was a good first month. The work is fun and challenging. The people are pretty cool. As I wrote back in May, I was getting so bored not working and not doing what I like doing (helping people be their best at work). Boredom can be a good thing but it's also exhausting. There are only so many hours of CSI reruns to watch (although there are 15 seasons so you can do the math). It feels good to be back in the world of work.

Now if I could only find the elusive best way home in the evening, I'd be all set. I don't know how people commute for years and years without becoming rage-filled psychopaths; I've only been doing this for a month and I want to physically harm people who don't realize the lane ends and they have to merge even though there's a GIANT SIGN that tells them this. These people are why we can't have nice things.

The desk dinos have a new home and seem to be settling in nicely. One of them may come with me when the frozen yogurt truck pays us a visit this week.

Lazy Movie Weekend: My brain is a genius

Normally when I sit down for a Lazy Movie Weekend, I watch a movie I've seen so many times I could quote the entire movie to you without having to watch it. I love every movie that I cover in these posts so I've always struggled with the idea of writing one about a movie I'm seeing for the first time. But I also like a challenge and what better way to challenge my movie watching/blogging skills then to let someone else select the movie for me? This weekend's movie was selected by my friend Michael. You might remember him as Bad Shakespeare from a few crossover posts we did previously. Michael is a movie aficionado; he sees all the movies and while we may disagree on Billy Joel, we usually agree on movies. Except La La Land; I'm never going to love La La Land like he does. I'd be the one being interrogated in this SNL sketch because of my feelings towards this movie. I'm a monster.

Regardless of our differing opinions on that movie, I decided to take Michael's suggestion for a LMW post and watch the mockumentary, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping. I was not disappointed. I'm not entirely sure what I am when I comes to this movie but disappointed is not involved. I don't know if this movie is for everyone, but I think you should check it out just in case it's exactly for you. It recently premiered on HBO and I hope this will help it become the cult movie it is. With that said, take a walk over to your Aquavision refrigerator, let it play you a song, and grab some carrots (cut into one of nine shapes), join me for Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping.

• At it's heart, this is a movie about friendship. Thank goodness it begins with a "before they were famous" friendship montage. If I'm ever famous, I would like there to be a "before they were famous" friendship montage made of me. Everyone needs this kind of montage to remind them of who they truly are.
• The Style Boyz - I want them to be a real band who goes on tour so I can go to the show and relive my adolescence except with humor and alcohol. Akiva Schaffer is my favorite Lonely Island member and slowly steals this movie from Andy Samberg beginning in the Style Boys videos.
• So many cameos! If you blink you'll miss every member of the SNL cast from Samberg's years to the present plus all of the musicians: Questlove, Nas, Carrie Underwood, Usher, Mariah Carey. Ringo Starr is in this movie! Genius.
• Conner4Real is loosely based on Jutin Bieber and it's hard not to think of the Biebs throughout most of the first part of the movie. Samberg nails the narcissistic, clueless pop star perfectly. It's like he's been practicing for this movie his whole life.
• No thank you Adam Levine cameo. At least he's not wearing a deep V-neck shirt like always. 
• Mariah Carey talking about the Conner4Real song "Humble" is one of the funniest things Mariah Carey has done in her entire life.
• Tim Meadows! I told you every SNL cast member is in this movie. Tim Meadows needs to be in more movies. He's a national treasure.
• Two new job goals: umbrella wrangler and perspective manipulator. I may have had to pause the movie to get myself under control after the perspective manipulator was explained.
• So the songs. This wouldn't be a movie about a popstar if there weren't songs. The first new single Conner releases ("surprise releasing it on Thursday at noon) is called "Equal Rights Song." It's a parody of the Macklemore song "Same Love" and is so laughingly terrible you can't stop watching. I put the Lonely Island guys up there with Weird Al on their ability to write great parody songs. Pink, on a unicorn at one point, makes a cameo in this song and you can't help but love her more.
•  Emma Stone! Can she be a popstar for real? "Costco samples like a motherfucker" should be everyone's catchphrase.
• When we return to Lawrence, now living on a farm, we're basically watching every episode of CSI that involved the origins of a serial killer. So perfect.
• Aquaspin - this is probably our future. Our appliances will come preloaded with crap music and then eventually try to kill us. It's like a terrible U2 album meets Maximum Overdrive. 
• Paula (the great Sarah Silverman): "We'd like to get to the point where Connor is everywhere, like oxygen or gravity or clinical depression."
•  CMZ! I laughed so hard at these segments. They all nail the TMZ impersonations. At the end, when they get sad about their lives until they can show James Franco at a Denny's? So funny.
• Joan Cusack as Conner's mom! I love her. She should probably be in every movie.
• Ditto to Justin Timberlake. Describing his catering business and how Conner likes carrots in nine different shapes. If you don't like Justin Timberlake we probably can't be friends.
• "Finest Girl (Bin Laden Song)" so not my jam but a bizarrely wonderful moment on tour with Conner4Real.
• "Things in My Jeep" - Lawrence's rap song is the kind of rap song I'd probably write. 
• "Thirty Seconds to Mars is the name of the band. It's not a fact." - Harry (I snorted when he said this.)
• And then the story returns to the downfall of Conner, the rise of Hunter the Hungry, and the plan Owen has to "parent trap" Conner and Lawrence to get the Style Boyz back together. There might also be an appearance by Seal, a wolf attack, and a short sequence with Imogen Poots during this chaos.
• The Donkey Roll! I can totally see this being a thing at middle school dances. 
• "There's not fun in collating." Harry is the best.
• Was that Doyle at the turtle funeral? 
• "We're three Tom Pettys AND the Heartbreakers." Lawrence
• And then we end at an awards show called the Poppies. It's a song called "Incredible Thoughts" and it features Michael Bolton, a person dressed as a fish, and the kind of stream of consciousness song writing that would probably be called insane if Lawrence had become a serial killer rather than rejoining the pop band he once belonged to. It's amazing. And yes, that was Weird Al.

In the great tradition of Christopher Guest movies, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping joins the list of my favorite mockumentaries. It's ridiculous, hilarious, and so over the top. You have to see it to believe it.

Have a movie you want to get the Lazy Movie Weekend treatment? Let me know by posting in the comments. I'll do my best to cover it in a future post.


Popstar poster

Rise Up! Rock Out!

Back in November, I shared a snippet of conversations I was having with friends and acquaintances who were struggling to make sense of the election and the outcome and the world we were immediately plunged into because of it. I'm not magical so I'm wasn't immune to the same feelings my friends were feeling BUT I felt like I had a strategy in place for moving forward when the election was "done." I would ask my friend "What have you done? What are you willing to do next?" not because I wanted them to feel guilty but because I wanted them to think about how to be part of change in a way that would work for them. And maybe, by being a bit more in the world, the crippling sense of doom would go away bit by bit. That was the plan.

For me, being a "good" citizen is important. I've always believed that being socially and politically active is the point; that's how I define a good citizen. We're supposed to protest and vote and get involved in our communities. We're supposed to care about one another and this country and question our leaders. The Women's March was a powerful reminder of that as have been the countless protests and other movements that have happened since November. Social change isn't easy especially when you're covering ground you should NOT have to repeat but all of these steps are necessary so we don't end up 50 years (or more) in the past.

What's challenging is getting lost in the muck of all of these ideas and the rhetoric and the ridiculousness of a commander in chief who tweets like a teen jacked up on Mountain Dew with equally poor grammar. It's hard sometimes to find the good in the world. I know this. That's why I planned for it (because sometimes I'm a little too Type-A for my own good) and decided to commit myself to more coming off of the natural high the Women's March. I vowed to be more active within my local government (which I am doing in many ways) and to look for a local organization to either donate time or money to (or both). That's how I found Girls Rock! DC.

Celebrating its 10th Anniversary this year, Girls Rock! DC is a summer camp for girls, trans, and non-binary youth which focuses on music, music education, and social justice. The original rock camp was founded in Portland, OR and has spread around the US and the world, with rock camps in most major US cities and in countries like Japan, the UK, and Sweden. During camp week, campers take music classes, learn music history, and form a band. The bands write music together, create their band name, their aesthetic, and a song to be performed at the end of camp Showcase. They also have the opportunity to take workshops on a variety of topics and learn from one another and the camp staff.

Girls Rock! DC (GR!DC) was founded in 2007 by a group of area musicians, teachers, and community organizers to focus on the idea of building community while also rocking out. I heard about Girls Rock! DC from a volunteer at the museum. She and I were discussing getting more involved in local organizations and she mentioned GR!DC. She'd recently gone to a showcase for their adult program, We Rock!, and had thought of me because of my love of rock music and education programs (I'm always surprised by my qualifiers amongst people who know me). I did a little research, saw that they had a call out of for volunteers, and contacted the group. I did a volunteer interview, talked with a member of their leadership team via email about working on the communications team, and showed up at the first training. And then I was hooked completely.

It's rare to walk into a room of people so dedicated to something that you immediately have to tell someone else they need to be involved in this group but that is exactly what happened when I went to my first training (I texted Anita and then made her get up early to come to the showcase). It was awesome to see so many people coming together to make this camp happen. Listening to the various leadership team members talk about the program, the mission, the campers was inspiring. It's a lot of work but it makes a difference for the campers who participate. Many are experiencing not only camp for the first time, but playing a musical instrument for the first time. The camp is very representative of the area, with campers coming from all quadrants of DC, Maryland, and Virginia. It's a supportive, open, and creative space. Girls very rarely get that.

I didn't get to spend the week at camp since I started my new job (this will be remedied next summer) but I did get to spend time working on the showcase program and helping with set up at camp and at the showcase venue, the 9:30 Club. Did I not mention that? The camp showcase is at the 9:30 Club. I know, it's wild. The other volunteers I work with are awesome; I have never met a cooler, more welcoming group of humans in my life. I wasn't sure if my more Type-A personality would work within the group but it seemed to be okay at least for what I was working on throughout the last few weeks. The few campers I got to meet, primarily the members of the Youth Leadership team, were fun to talk to and hear from as they shared their camp experience.

And then there was the showcase. These bands and DJ crews (there were two crews this year) have one week to write and rehearse their song. Many of the campers are learning music for the first time and they range in age from 8-18. What they created for showcase was amazing; the songs were from the heart, timely, and full of spirit and resistance. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

Here are a few samples:
from "Freedom and Justice" by Awesome Jamz-P.O.M.S
Yo, my freedom is everything, everything to me
I might even sing in it in four harmony
I got my sisters by my side
You know that they down to ride
They call me up, and they say "hey!"
We fighting for freedom and justice everyday

from Unknown Dawn's song
Don't give up 
Believe in yourself
Change what you want to change
Don't be bothered by anyone else
Try your hardest and love yourself

There was also a song called "Triggered" by Close Open Doors with a chorus that offered the suggestion of being calm and counting to nine to handle a very serious topic that happens all the time. The band handled it with humor and seriousness all at the same time. There was a lot of poetry and defiance wrapped into these songs. One of my favorite songs was from one of the younger band groups, Galaxy Starzz. It was a dreamy nugget of a song and it was about being you who are and making friends and being stars. The DJ crews were also impressive; it added a great vibe to the showcase and they were really supportive of one another on stage.

At the end of the showcase, all the campers, past and present, and the volunteers come on stage to sing the Girls Rock! DC anthem. Here's my favorite verse from the song:

Now I know I can do anything
I can DJ or play drums or sing
Come on, everyone, get up and dance
Cos the future of rock is in our hands!

Groups like Girls Rock! DC give me hope for the future. I'm excited to continue being part of this organization throughout the year and waiting anxiously for camp 2018. Until then, let's all continue to rise up and rock out!

 Photos by me

A Cottage by the Sea, Part Three: In which our heroine begins a new journey

I'm exhausted. I woke up this morning a little after 7 am with a tiny, orange cat staring at me. I believe the look I was given was the "Wake up, human. You are shirking your sole responsibility in life which is to feed me. Get out of bed. Do your job." Pumpkin has a lot of feelings.

To provide some context...

My exhaustion stems from a very exciting development in life: I started back to work this week! This means I've finally moved into phase three of being your resident chick lit heroine. You can revisit phases one and two at your leisure. Phase three, which we'll discuss in more detail shortly, is the phase where things fall into place and the heroine moves forward on a new or new-ish path. I thought I would be stuck in phase two forever; phase two is the waiting phase, the phase where our heroine both begins to give up hope of things going her way and where glimmers of goodness shimmer in the distance. My phase two lasted about six weeks; long enough for it to become stressful but short enough that I know I'm lucky to have moved onto a new gig. Honestly, I could have been in phase two until the end of the summer. That would have been miserable.

I forgot how exhausting it is to start a new job. I haven't been the brand, brand new person at a job in 10 years. I've spent the last 5 years onboarding new employees so I was always exhausted at the end of each new hire week but for completely different reasons. There's so much information to take in during the first few days of a new job; by day three my brain was definitely mushy (which I told my new manager, our VP, and our SVP - super professional on my part) and in need of an information break. This is why I save certain shows on my DVR rather than watch right away. It's not only learning a new organization (I've only scratched the surface of that) but diving right into the programs I'll be managing/assisting with. Then there's remembering everyone's name and what they do. Thankfully, we have to wear badges, the workplace equivalent of name tags. That's made the name game a little easier.

Information overload aside, starting a new job also means starting a new schedule. I have an actual commute for the first time in 15 years so I spent a lot of this week trying to figure out what time to leave in the morning and wondering if leaving at 4:30 would be a good or bad thing (so far, it's a draw). My route happens to take me out 66. If you know anything about DMV traffic, you may have just shuddered a bit. It's a reverse commute for the most part but it still takes me an hour or more to get home. My GPS, Norma, seems to think that going from 66 to 495 to 395 is the best way home. While that may be true from a time in car perspective, it's an absolute lie in a "everyone sucks and you have to get over seven lanes to get to where you need to go in two seconds" perspective. There are a bunch of ways to get home; I have to figure out one that won't make me want to punch other drivers in the throat every day. I'm sure this route exists.

I know it'll all even out in a few months. I'll figure out a new routine, including the best time to go to the gym (either at home or at the office), my volunteering will slow down some, and I'll get into the groove of my new job and organization. That's all part of phase three; journeying down a new path and figuring out all my things. Getting back into being an adult and doing the things adults do like complaining about traffic and packing a healthy lunch. Deciding when to go to the grocery store and not feeling bad when the young women next to me in line spend the exact amount of money I did but they spent it on wine and cheese while I bought sensible things like vegetables and protein packed snacks. My exhaustion will morph into regular tiredness (since I'm old now) and life will return to normal.

What has this chick lit heroine journey taught me?

• Suit jackets are terribly uncomfortable and do literally nothing for me. I'm glad my new company has a more casual approach to dress codes so I can store those bad boys away for hopefully a long, long time.
• Only surround yourself with people who are going to be good for you. I don't mean people who will tell you're making a smart life choice when in fact, you're about to drive off a cliff, but people who are supportive, cool, and will have those reality check moments with you when needed. 
• Don't turn your back on the things you love even if you're not 100% feeling it. 
• While filling my time was exactly what I needed to do, it was also a challenge but the best kind of challenge. This did bite me in the ass last week when I realized I scheduled my life within an inch of itself but it all got done.
• Focus is incredibly important. I took time to figure out what I did and didn't want in a job and a company which made applying for positions and going through the interview process less stressful (it's still stressful but wasn't as bad). 
• Pay if forward. I have some amazing people in my life who were awesome these last few months. I hope to be as helpful as they are in the future to the people who need it.
• Set realistic goals. I said I was going to reorganize my bedroom closet and have yet to do it. However, I did take another trip to Dinosaur Land, saw Wonder Woman, and began the slow process of cleaning out my parents' basement so I did the things that needed to be done.
• When in doubt, a 90s dance party is the answer. 
• It is perfectly acceptable to binge watch canceled Gordan Ramsay shows and find comfort in his ability to yell at people and weave a tapestry of obscenities that is still hovering over a crappy bistro in a strip mall in California.
• If the 90s dance party isn't working, stop what you're doing and bake something, preferably something with chocolate, peanut butter, or a combination of both. 
• Sometimes, you pass through phases two and three without a meet cute, the intersession of an adorable child, and a coffee mishap. I'm not saying these things won't happen but they didn't happen during my chick lit heroine journey. 
• Treat yourself.
   
  
  
  As Semisonic, the great poets of 1998, tell us "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Since I didn't get my own meet cute or super spectacular rom-com moment, I leave you with this from the movie Friends with Benefits.

Treat Yo Self image