Old Lady Concert Rules: This entire city is that guy

There is a startling epidemic in the city of Memphis. No, I'm not talking about crime or gentrification or drugs. No, I'm talking about something completely frivolous: it's a city of people being that guy.

If you didn't grow up on a steady diet of 90s era comedies like me, let me refresh your memory on what "being that guy" means. In the 1994 campus comedy PCU, Jeremy Piven's Droz leads a group of weirdos from "the Pit" in a crusade against a massive wave of political correctness on campus. In one scene, he stops Gutter (Jon Favreau) as Gutter is leaving to catch his ride to a concert. Gutter is wearing the shirt of the band he's going to see. Droz stops Gutter and tells him he needs to change because you can't wear the shirt of the band you're going to see. Don't be that guy.

Other than the fact that PCU was probably the last time anyone truly enjoyed Jeremy Piven, it has the distinction of inspiring my first Old Lady Concert Rule: don't wear the shirt of the band you're going to see. Don't be that guy. Over the years, I've added more rules to this list and the shirt rule is now number two on the actual list I created. I get it; you go to a show, buy a shirt, and then you go to see the band again, and you think, "I'll wear the shirt I bought last time this time and I'll be awesome. Everyone will know I've seen them before and I'll be super cool. It's going to be epic!" Concert shirts used to be the way to identify your people; people who share a love of the same band or musician you love. That is not how the world works anymore. I can buy literally any band/concert shirt I want on the internet. It'll be delivered to my home in a few days or immediately with a drone if I give Jeff Bezos my first born. This takes a little fun out of the community of concert goers. I don't know if I'm talking to someone who actually likes AC/DC or someone who bought a cool shirt at Urban Outfitters. The internet ruins so many things.

We were in Memphis to see the Foo Fighters show. Graceland was an added bonus because we were there and it felt wrong to go all the way to Memphis and not visit the King. Also, I'm a huge Elvis fan so it would actually be a violation of some fan rule somewhere (probably). Anyway, the day of the Foo Fighters show, we decided to see the Peabody ducks, walk around Beale Street, day drink, and tour the Memphis Rock 'N' Soul Museum and Memphis Music Hall of Fame.

Please enjoy this video of the Peabody ducks:

We saw the first guy (and girl) at the Peabody. We were having breakfast before the ducks came down and this couple was at the table next to us. They were both wearing Foo Fighters shirts. Then we saw a few more people at the duck ceremony, one of whom was carrying a Foo Fighters record. I guess he wanted to bring it to the show? Maybe he had tickets for a meet and greet; I don't know. It seemed odd. It didn't stop with the people at the Peabody; we saw Foo Fighters shirts all day, from wandering down Beale Street to day drinking to having dinner. We reached peak "being that guy" experience as we sat outside the FedEx Forum waiting to go in. Everywhere we looked, there were people being that guy. In some cases, there were entire families in matching shirts being that guy together.

My brother and I made jokes about this all day and discussed whether there were sub-rules for the "being that guy rule." Here are some possible sub-rules we came up with:

• When in a group or couple, don't wear the same shirt of the band you're going to see. If you're going to be that guy, at least be unique.
• If the shirt is more than 10 years old, you may wear the shirt to the show if you actually went to the original show 10 years ago or you inherited said shirt from your parents. I'm calling this "the Tim Rule" in honor of my friend Tim who deserves to wear the shirts he has collected over the years. He is an excellent rock and roll citizen.
• Teach your children not to be that guy. If you're going to be the cool parents who take their kids to shows and are lucky enough to have kids who like the same music you do, make sure they end up as good rock and roll citizens. They don't need to be that guy.

I know some of you are saying, "Geez, Erin, I thought you liked the fact that music brings together a community of people. You're always saying that. Maybe you should acknowledge the shirts as a way to do that. Also, why are you being so un-fun?" Yes, I am always saying that and I do love this about music. It's one of the things I love most about music, generally speaking. I love finding people who enjoy the same bands and musicians I do and listening to music with them. I love arguing with people about music. But I have never walked up to a person wearing a Foo Fighters shirt and just started chatting with them. That's not my style and given our less than civil society, they'd probably be uncomfortable with a stranger randomly talking to them. People are weird that way. That's why this is an old lady concert rule; un-fun is okay in the world of old lady concert rules.

It's also very possible I negated the t-shirt rule anyway since I stood for almost the entire Foo Fighters show. Granted, we were in the last row of our section and the box seating was directly behind us so no one was going to miss out if we stood. That's the kind of show you get when you go to a Foo Fighters show; it's the sort of show that makes you want to stand and dance and sing along. It's three hours of rock and roll awesomeness. I can't think of another band that exemplifies rock and roll citizenship like the Foo Fighters. And yes, they did play the "Imagine/Jump" mashup. It was the perfect way to end a day of wandering around music history.

Did I mention the goat? We had time to kill between museums and the concert so we decided to visit a bar called Silky O'Sullivans. It's a bar on Beale Street known for its BBQ, New Orleans-y vibe (the owner was king in five different Mardi Gras krewes in the 80s and 90s), and beer guzzling goats. Apparently, the goats used to dive off the goat tower (one of only four in the world) and would drink beer so they were also drunk goats. According to our waiter, the goats went to rehab and are now sober (PETA complained). You can feed them crackers and watch them wander around their pen and walk to the top of the tower. We didn't feed them, but we did watch them as we listened to a local band and day drank. I highly recommend the Pink Cadillac and friend pickles. It might sound like a weird combination, but it's delicious.

We had dinner at Dyer's Burgers - the secret is in the 100 year old grease they use to cook the burger. They were damn good.

Misfit Toys Road Trip: Thank you. Thank you very much.

What does one wear to Graceland? I probably thought about this more than a lot of other trip planning items. Elvis loved fashion and I didn't want to disappoint. Should I go full on retro and dress like an extra from one of Elvis's movies? Should I go full on Priscilla - lots of belted waistlines and elegant dresses? Or should I go straight up American tourist: jeans, t-shirt, obscenely large bag, possibly a hat? Let's say I landed somewhere in the middle of all of these ideas, vintage-y capris, basic tee, Converse sneakers, no hat, and a moderately sized bag. Yes, I'm aware no one cares, but I care and that's what matters most. Visiting the home of musical royalty is nothing to take lightly.

Seriously, ask the millions of people who have visited Graceland since it opened to the public as a museum and shrine to Elvis in 1982. They come from far and wide to see the home of one of the most beloved musicians in history. Graceland welcomed its 20 millionth visitor in 2016 and expanded to include an entire entertainment complex across the street from the mansion property. I have wanted to visit Graceland since I started listening to Elvis when I was around 10 years old. I have loved Elvis from the very moment I heard my first song. Elvis was a good transition from the boy bands I was into at the time to real deal rock and roll bands I love now. Elvis didn't invent rock and roll, but you're crazy if you don't understand or acknowledge his role in creating the genre. My favorite album of his will always be Aloha from Hawaii; I've watched the special at least a dozen times. My favorite songs include "That's Alright" (his first single on the Sun label), " Can't Help Falling in Love", "Suspicious Minds", "Blue Hawaii", "Fever", "Kentucky Rain", and "Little Sister." I could listen to Elvis records all day and never, ever be bored. 

When my brother and I decided to drive to Memphis to go to a Foo Fighters concert, we agreed to add Graceland to the itinerary. My brother is a great human being and understands my love of Elvis. For an early birthday present, he booked us on a VIP tour and included the planes because now you can tour Elvis's planes. Have you really visited Graceland if you skip the planes? 

Presley purchased Graceland for his parents, Gladys and Vernon, in 1957. They were looking for a larger home and Gladys found Graceland (the name is original to the house), just outside of Memphis. It underwent extensive renovations before the family moved in. Gladys, Elvis's beloved mother, would only get to live in the house for a short time before her death. Elvis and his mother were close; ultimately, the house was a gift for her. He wanted to provide for her and take care of her as she had taken care of him all his life. Graceland is not an ostentatious house from the outside; it's a pretty ranch style house with sprawling land. It's not until you go inside that you really get a sense of the grandeur and extravagance that Elvis brought into the house. 

Elvis grew up poor in Tupelo, MS. His family lived in shotgun shacks and boarding houses most of his life. I'm not surprised by the over-the-top nature of the house given his upbringing and how much he wanted to take care of his family. According to the narrated tour (John Stamos, by the way), Elvis thought of Graceland as his oasis, where he could be with his family, relax, and work all in the same place. He liked to decorate and enjoyed changing up the furniture and the style of the house. You can joke about Elvis all you want, but as far as I'm concerned, he was allowed his Jungle Room, weird monkey statues, gold-plated everything, and sequin covered pillows. The man earned it.

Our adventure at Graceland started with a VIP tour bus from the entertainment complex, Elvis Presley's Memphis, to the mansion. We were the only people in the 10:30 am tour so we had a private bus and viewing of the introduction video; Scott and I know how to roll. We were given tablets with headsets, allowing the dulcet tones of John Stamos to wash over us and lead us through the house. The first room is the living room, complete with peacock stained glass, portraits, and a white sofa that I can only imagine was a bitch to keep clean. One of the many pianos on the property can be seen through the living room in the music room. It's gorgeous. 

From the living room, the tour continues to his parents' room, complete with custom poodle wallpaper, the dining room, and the kitchen. The kitchen was 1970s panel gloriousness, dark and smaller than I thought. A large portion of the house is dark, with paneling and elaborate ceilings that made it feel a little more closed in than I expected. Elvis was a tall man and I have to wonder if he ever felt too tall for parts of the house.

Downstairs includes a mirrored staircase, the billiard room, and a tv room that featuring a wall of televisions and the first of the questionable monkey statues that appear in the house. The monkey is a little creepy; Elvis did have a pet monkey, but this statue is not a pet. It reminded me of something that would come to life in a horror movie and try to steal my soul. See for yourself:

The path out of the billiard room brings visitors back upstairs directly into the Jungle Room, probably the most famous room on display at Graceland. Eventually the Jungle Room would be converted into a studio. Elvis recorded his last two studio albums in this room. It's another dark paneled room, with Tiki statues, more weird monkey statues, and furniture that doesn't look comfortable, but apparently was (thanks, John Stamos). 

The rest of the property includes the stables, Vernon's office, and the Trophy Room, which now houses a display about the family, the house, and various furniture and pieces of fan art sent over the years. The only commissioned portrait of Elvis is also here and it is extraordinary. The last part of the tour includes the racquet ball court and another music room. It happens to be the last place where Elvis played music before he died. After viewing this room, the outside path leads to the Meditation Garden, where Elvis, his parents, and his grandmother are all interred. A small memorial for his twin brother is also here; he's buried in Tupelo. It's a quiet space where fans can pay their final respects to the King. Elvis's tombstone includes script written by his father and is a lovely tribute. You can tell how much love there was in this family.

After leaving the mansion, we were bused back to the entertainment complex where we continued our almost five-hour experience at Graceland. From the mansion, we toured the car museum, saw exhibits on Elvis's time in the Army, his birthplace in Tupelo, and smaller exhibits on Sun Records, Elvis in the movies, and the archives. There's also a large exhibit on Elvis's clothing. It's amazing the sheer volume of stuff that exists in this place and I'm sure what's on display is a fraction of what actually exists. My parents' basement is tame comparatively speaking.

In addition to being overwhelmed by the amount of information and things to look at, I kept thinking about Elvis's legacy. If you consider yourself a rock and roll fan like I am, you can't ignore Elvis. He created a sound that influenced every rock musician that came after him. As we drove to and from Memphis, we listened to Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen, John Mellencamp, and Big Star. Elvis is a presence in each song, as are the other early rock musicians like Carl Perkins, Johnny Cash, Ike Turner, and so many more. I could hear it as I listened to the Foo Fighters too. I'm always surprised when people tell me they don't like Elvis, but they like rock music. As far as I'm concerned, you can't like rock music without Elvis. He was a great guitar player, which people often forget, and a gifted performer. He held an audience like no other musician. Watch the 1968 television special or Aloha from Hawaii to see what I'm talking about (or watch the documentary, The Searcher, currently airing on HBO). Dude could wear a jumpsuit like nobody else. And fans love him; it doesn't matter that he died in 1977. People will visit Graceland forever, or at least as long as rock and roll exists. They want to experience a little bit more of the music they love and the musician who created what they love. That's what Graceland is.

Some observations and recommendations for visiting Graceland:

• Elvis went through caftan phase at some point. Eventually, we all go through a caftan phase. I'm planning mine for when I'm in my mid-80s, but it could happen at any time.
• John Stamos is the perfect narrator for the mansion tour. I'm trying to figure out what else he should narrate. I'm sure I'll think of something.
• The jumpsuit - iconic, controversial, versatile. There is a section of the larger fashion exhibit that I can only assume is "the Jumpsuit Room." There are so many and they're all amazing. There's even one with unicorns. 
• I don't think I realized how tall Elvis was. Only a tall man could rock a jumpsuit as the King did.
• The planes were sort of a let down. I feel bad saying this because I made a big deal out of the planes. The furniture is covered in plastic and it smells like an attic, so it's basically like going to visit someone's grandparents' house. The only thing missing was a dish of hard candies.  
• The only way to enjoy a grilled banana and peanut butter sandwich is with bacon grease. What's most enjoyable about this sandwich is that the peanut butter didn't get melty like it does when I toast bread for my PB&Js. It's like the bananas form a glue to keep the peanut butter in it's creamy, delicious format. 
• The cars and motorcycles - this was my second favorite part of the extended tour after the Jumpsuit Room. If you love cars, it's a must. I spent a good portion of Thursday afternoon day drinking Pink Cadillacs so seeing Elvis's actual pink Cadillac was pretty awesome. Don't skip the cars.
• Schedule your tour for earlier in the day so you have enough time to see everything. We started our tour around 10:30 am and left around 3:30 pm. We still had time to enjoy Beale Street, eat dinner, and hang out in a haunted dive bar to end our day. 
• Elvis's motto was "taking care of business" and TCB is everywhere at Graceland. I bought a travel coffee mug with this on it and have decided to live my life with this in mind. 
• Go to Marlowe's for BBQ. We stumbled upon this place the night we got into town. It's not too far from Graceland (we were staying out that way) and was one of the only places still open when we arrived. They have pink limos that double as shuttles between Graceland and the restaurant. According to our absolutely delightful waitress, the limos were originally used to deliver takeout to Graceland and became a thing. They've stuck (the place opened in 1974) and now there are seven limos. The restaurant is Elvis themed; we watched the end of G.I. Blues while we ate and enjoyed a beer from Ghost River Brewing Co.  

Later this week: A bonus Memphis post about rock and roll, the blues, the Foo Fighters, and a Duck Master.

Rise Up! Rock Out!

Back in November, I shared a snippet of conversations I was having with friends and acquaintances who were struggling to make sense of the election and the outcome and the world we were immediately plunged into because of it. I'm not magical so I'm wasn't immune to the same feelings my friends were feeling BUT I felt like I had a strategy in place for moving forward when the election was "done." I would ask my friend "What have you done? What are you willing to do next?" not because I wanted them to feel guilty but because I wanted them to think about how to be part of change in a way that would work for them. And maybe, by being a bit more in the world, the crippling sense of doom would go away bit by bit. That was the plan.

For me, being a "good" citizen is important. I've always believed that being socially and politically active is the point; that's how I define a good citizen. We're supposed to protest and vote and get involved in our communities. We're supposed to care about one another and this country and question our leaders. The Women's March was a powerful reminder of that as have been the countless protests and other movements that have happened since November. Social change isn't easy especially when you're covering ground you should NOT have to repeat but all of these steps are necessary so we don't end up 50 years (or more) in the past.

What's challenging is getting lost in the muck of all of these ideas and the rhetoric and the ridiculousness of a commander in chief who tweets like a teen jacked up on Mountain Dew with equally poor grammar. It's hard sometimes to find the good in the world. I know this. That's why I planned for it (because sometimes I'm a little too Type-A for my own good) and decided to commit myself to more coming off of the natural high the Women's March. I vowed to be more active within my local government (which I am doing in many ways) and to look for a local organization to either donate time or money to (or both). That's how I found Girls Rock! DC.

Celebrating its 10th Anniversary this year, Girls Rock! DC is a summer camp for girls, trans, and non-binary youth which focuses on music, music education, and social justice. The original rock camp was founded in Portland, OR and has spread around the US and the world, with rock camps in most major US cities and in countries like Japan, the UK, and Sweden. During camp week, campers take music classes, learn music history, and form a band. The bands write music together, create their band name, their aesthetic, and a song to be performed at the end of camp Showcase. They also have the opportunity to take workshops on a variety of topics and learn from one another and the camp staff.

Girls Rock! DC (GR!DC) was founded in 2007 by a group of area musicians, teachers, and community organizers to focus on the idea of building community while also rocking out. I heard about Girls Rock! DC from a volunteer at the museum. She and I were discussing getting more involved in local organizations and she mentioned GR!DC. She'd recently gone to a showcase for their adult program, We Rock!, and had thought of me because of my love of rock music and education programs (I'm always surprised by my qualifiers amongst people who know me). I did a little research, saw that they had a call out of for volunteers, and contacted the group. I did a volunteer interview, talked with a member of their leadership team via email about working on the communications team, and showed up at the first training. And then I was hooked completely.

It's rare to walk into a room of people so dedicated to something that you immediately have to tell someone else they need to be involved in this group but that is exactly what happened when I went to my first training (I texted Anita and then made her get up early to come to the showcase). It was awesome to see so many people coming together to make this camp happen. Listening to the various leadership team members talk about the program, the mission, the campers was inspiring. It's a lot of work but it makes a difference for the campers who participate. Many are experiencing not only camp for the first time, but playing a musical instrument for the first time. The camp is very representative of the area, with campers coming from all quadrants of DC, Maryland, and Virginia. It's a supportive, open, and creative space. Girls very rarely get that.

I didn't get to spend the week at camp since I started my new job (this will be remedied next summer) but I did get to spend time working on the showcase program and helping with set up at camp and at the showcase venue, the 9:30 Club. Did I not mention that? The camp showcase is at the 9:30 Club. I know, it's wild. The other volunteers I work with are awesome; I have never met a cooler, more welcoming group of humans in my life. I wasn't sure if my more Type-A personality would work within the group but it seemed to be okay at least for what I was working on throughout the last few weeks. The few campers I got to meet, primarily the members of the Youth Leadership team, were fun to talk to and hear from as they shared their camp experience.

And then there was the showcase. These bands and DJ crews (there were two crews this year) have one week to write and rehearse their song. Many of the campers are learning music for the first time and they range in age from 8-18. What they created for showcase was amazing; the songs were from the heart, timely, and full of spirit and resistance. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

Here are a few samples:
from "Freedom and Justice" by Awesome Jamz-P.O.M.S
Yo, my freedom is everything, everything to me
I might even sing in it in four harmony
I got my sisters by my side
You know that they down to ride
They call me up, and they say "hey!"
We fighting for freedom and justice everyday

from Unknown Dawn's song
Don't give up 
Believe in yourself
Change what you want to change
Don't be bothered by anyone else
Try your hardest and love yourself

There was also a song called "Triggered" by Close Open Doors with a chorus that offered the suggestion of being calm and counting to nine to handle a very serious topic that happens all the time. The band handled it with humor and seriousness all at the same time. There was a lot of poetry and defiance wrapped into these songs. One of my favorite songs was from one of the younger band groups, Galaxy Starzz. It was a dreamy nugget of a song and it was about being you who are and making friends and being stars. The DJ crews were also impressive; it added a great vibe to the showcase and they were really supportive of one another on stage.

At the end of the showcase, all the campers, past and present, and the volunteers come on stage to sing the Girls Rock! DC anthem. Here's my favorite verse from the song:

Now I know I can do anything
I can DJ or play drums or sing
Come on, everyone, get up and dance
Cos the future of rock is in our hands!

Groups like Girls Rock! DC give me hope for the future. I'm excited to continue being part of this organization throughout the year and waiting anxiously for camp 2018. Until then, let's all continue to rise up and rock out!

 Photos by me