Old Lady Concert Rules: Twirling, Twirling, Gone

Old Lady Concert Rule #15 (maybe): Keep your twirling to yourself!

It's been almost six years since I first put the Old Lady Concert rules to paper. Of course, by "paper" I mean I wrote an Island post about them. The rules have been modified, added to, and discussed at great lengths since that post. Most recently, I created a new rule for wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see after experiencing an entire city of people being that guy. I refer to this modification as "the Tim Rule" because my friend Tim asked about an exception and he deserves one. What I realized recently is that I've never addressed a very important topic in the Old Lady Concert rules: dancing.

I'm an awkward dancer. I took dance classes as a child and I was in the chorus in musicals, but neither one of those things equals confident dancer. I could blame lots of things for this particular awkward trait, but it comes down to self-confidence in my late teens and early twenties. I'm sure others can relate to this. As I've moved into my thirties (almost to my forties), I've decided I don't really care anymore and want to spend my remaining concert going years rocking out and dancing as awkwardly and exuberantly as I can. However, my dancing should not impede the enjoyment of others at any concert. This brings us to our newest Old Lady Concert Rule: Keep your twirling to yourself.

One of my favorite parts of going to concerts is people watching. This is particularly true when I go to shows featuring bands I'm not as interested in as my concert buddy. People watching gives me something to focus on when I don't know the words to the song or don't have a super emotional connection to what's going on. At shows I'm 100% into, it's a fun way to see how other fans of a band or musician I like react to the same music. Is there a lot of close-eyed swaying or toe-tapping? How many white dudes are doing their best to do something with their bodies that sort of resembles dancing, but also might resemble getting dressed in really tight clothing? Concerts are mini-communities and we all have our role to play in those communities. My decision to create a rule about dancing isn't about judgment or not wanting people to express their joy at a show; it's about being socially and situationally aware. Let's face it, an intense twirler can ruin a concert for everyone.

Let's break down my favorite concert dance forms. I freely admit to being many of these, despite my tendency to dance awkwardly in public. Sometimes, the music is in control and you have to let it be expressed through the muse of dance (thank you, Corky St. Clair).

• The Twirler: I went to Lilith Fair in 1997, so I'm no stranger to twirlers at concerts. I was also a little girl at one point in my life, and while I didn't love wearing dresses when I was younger, I did love to twirl. The fun of twirling really can't be put into words; if you've never twirled, stop reading and twirl around wherever you are for one minute. Don't you feel magical? I get it, sometimes the music is so much that you have to twirl. I want nothing more for you than to embrace your inner Stevie Nicks and twirl and twirl and twirl. Except when we're in a small, somewhat confined space, like say the 9:30 Club or most other small, bar venues. Twirling is probably the least ideal dance form in small spaces. Drink spillage alone could cost you hundreds of dollars if the people impacted want you to buy them a new drink. Or you twirl too much and hit someone right in the eye. Twirl with caution, which is probably a song on Stevie Nicks' next solo album.
• The White Dude Shuffle: White dudes dancing is one of my favorite things to watch at a concert. There are many levels to white dudes dancing, but the the White Dude Shuffle is by far the most expressive and fun to watch. The White Dude Shuffle is all about the arms and slight movement from the left foot to the right foot, but it's really about the arms and waist motions. I see this type of dancing at every type of show I go to; it's slightly out of sync with the rhythm of the song. The best White Dude Shuffle happens at punk and hard rock shows when a guy doesn't join the mosh pit melee, but still wants to groove. Nothing says concert entertainment more than a bunch of burly, heavily tattooeed white dudes shuffling to a Dropkick Murphys or Violent Femmes song. (Confession: This dude is my type. I can't help it. If he looks like the diner owner in season one of Stranger Things, I'm done.) The one thing to watch out for is eye closing; for whatever reason, a lot of eye closing happens with the White Dude Shuffle. This could be bad for you if they shuffle too intensely because it could quickly devolve into elbowing and then you're attending a hockey game you didn't want to attend.
• The Swayer: My brother is a swayer. A swayer is a person who sways in time to a song. Swayers are the most unobtrusive concert dancers; they have virtually no impact on anyone else; most of us are a swayer at some point in our concert-going life. Swaying is easiest when you attend a show where you don't have any vested interest in the band because you're involved, but not heavily involved. Where the Swayer becomes problematic is when he or she (I'm sometimes a swayer) gets so into the swaying that they dance dangerously close to the line of twirling. If you see a swayer moving past their personal space, hold your drink and prepare for modified twirl.
• The Air Guitarist/Drummer: When I went to see AC/DC two years ago with my brother, Dave Grohl was in attendance. Dave is from NOVA and is a huge AC/DC fan so it made sense that he'd pick this show to attend. We were directly across the arena from him. This meant we could see a blurry Dave Grohl the entire night. He did what I thought he might do for much of the concert: he air drummed. Air drumming and its cousin, air guitar playing, are a lot like twirling in that they can take up a lot of space and possibly cause injury if no one is paying attention. Both of these activities can be great if a person is at a seated show because they only have some much in which to rock out.
• The Rock Chick from a 1980s Video: Bless the 1980s rock video. Most of these videos have very formulaic plots, and almost all of them involve one "hot" girl dancing for extended shots, usually on the hood of a car. Enjoy Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" if you've never experienced this type of video. Big hair, big boobs, either super tight clothes or flow-y dresses, high heels; these are the signs of this type of concert dancer. These ladies have mastered the fine art of being able to dance to anything. They're why metal fans complained about Def Leppard and bands like Whitesnake, but continued to attend concerts. Dudes were conflicted about how much a band could truly rock if girls could dance to the music (said in a way more colorful way). If you ever need a good pep talk, say one of two things to yourself: "Have the confidence of an average white male" or "Own a room like a 1980s Rock Chick." Both are surprisingly helpful.
• The Headbangers: My brother often leaves his swaying behind and headbangs during very specific concerts or songs. Take him to a Metallica show and it's headbanging all the way. Metal bands tend to have the most dedicated of headbangers; the fast-paced, heavy music is designed for this type of enjoyment. It takes no actual skill, but a strong attachment to the rhythm and feeling of the music. Headbangers have a gentler cousin, who resembles a bobble head figure, and is usually present at rock shows. Do long-time headbangers have neck problems?
• The Music Feeler: At every show I attend, there is at least one person who is feeling the music so deeply that their body takes over and does whatever it wants to do. It could be a combination of every other dancing type listed or it could be something completely unique. At the Violent Femmes/Echo & the Bunnymen show on Wednesday at the Anthem, there was a couple in front of me that both were part of this category. During the Echo set, they had a ton of real estate to themselves and were just feeling it. For the woman, it manifested as a lot of twirling and intense swaying. She was also into the moves of a nearby 80s Rock Chick. The guy was a combo of a swayer, a twirler (yes, dudes can twirl), and a shuffler. Some people go to church, others go to rock shows.
• The Self-Contained Mosh Pit Guy: A mosh pit is a thing of beauty when viewed from several hundred feet above or from the way, way back of a club. I've been to many shows in my life that involved pits, but have always stayed outside of them for many reasons. The pit can be a violent place, intentionally or unintentionally, and is a culture unto itself. This is not about the mosh pit; it's about that one guy (and it's usually a guy) who creates his own one person pit right next to you during a show. This is a guy who employs his pit moves, like shuffling (which can be a thing in the pit), body slamming, and jumping for himself only. I feel some of these guys want you to join in and others just don't know any other way to express themselves physically when attending a show so they default to the pit behavior they're used to. My reaction to a self-contained mosh pit guy is to shove him back and protect my space at all costs. Elbows out, friends.
• The "Dance With Me" Couple: This has the potential to be the saddest dancing at a show or will end up being something out of an amateur porn film you don't want to watch. The woman in the couple always wants to dance. She tries everything to get the guy to dance with her. In the sad version, he completely ignores her or continually pushes her off, and continues his swaying (he's usually a swayer) until she gets so mad she storms off. Or they get into a fight in the middle of the show. In the porn-lite version, he gets into it and the girl becomes an 80s Rock Chick and he's the car hood. Neither is particularly fun to witness.

I want everyone to enjoy every show they go to. Every time I watch a person dance at a concert, I know in my heart that they are living their best possible lives at that exact moment. Sometimes the behavior awakens my inner Old Lady Concertgoer and I have to work hard at getting her to calm it down. Other times, it makes me joyful and warms a part of my cynical heart. My rule is in place to help us all be the best rock and roll citizens we can be. If we can all work together to be good rock and roll citizens, there's nothing we can't do.

Coming this August: Beer festival shenanigans at a prison, we discuss counter-protesting and the fact that no one should have to have "confronted a Nazi" as something they need to do in 2018, and a random Lazy Movie Weekend will appear. 

Concert Buddy Chronicles: Closer I Am to Fine

Old Lady Concert Rule #12 (probably): Always have a concert buddy.

Concert buddies are an important part of the concert going experience. Even for me, a person who enjoys doing things by myself, concerts don't fall into the group of activities that are more enjoyable alone. I would add sporting events, protests, holiday parties (particularly for work), and weddings to the list of things you should never attend alone. The safety factor is one part of this, but honestly, concerts are just more fun when you go with other people.

I've attended a few concerts by myself over the years and it's not nearly as much fun as it should be. Most of the shows have been at places like Ram's Head in Baltimore and the 9:30 Club in DC, which are both standing room only venues. Take the fun factor out of the mix for a second, logistical items like getting a drink or going to the bathroom are much more difficult because there's no one to protect your space. Despite my height, I prefer to stand at the back of the club, so it's a little better for me, but it's still annoying. If you don't make friends with your neighbors, you're out of luck. I lucked out at the last show I saw alone and made friends with the two people standing next to me. They protected my space and I did the same for them. We were all wearing the same shoes, which is why we started talking. Granted, it was a Green Day show so the odds were in my favor that at least half of the crowd would be wearing the same shoes as me, but they could have been jerks and then I would have been out of luck.

That's been my experience at most of the other shows I've gone to by myself. People around me weren't the most pleasant or just kept to themselves, which is 100% acceptable. At a Patti Smith show a few years ago, I got into an uncomfortable discussion with two drunk, older dudes next to me about how everything was better before I was born. They had seen her in the 70s in New York and it was so much better (obviously) and I was so unlucky to be born when I was born. I told them to stop talking like a bunch of elitist concert-going assholes. They were one step away from telling kids to get off their lawns and turn that racket down. This could have gone very bad, very quickly, but instead they apologized and offered to protect my space if I wanted to go get a drink or anything. They were polite to me the rest of the night. I could tell they were also annoyed; such is the delicate ego of a 70s "punk" dude.

These experiences aside, going to concerts with friends is funner. There's no other word to describe it. From the waiting to get in or in the parking lot to the people watching to the actual concert itself, the experience is better with other people. Having a concert buddy is actually how the Old Lady Concert rules became a thing; I started complaining about people standing at a seated show, which led to me discussing my old lady tendencies with Anita. The rules were born and we must abide.

My older brother, Scott, and my friend Anita are my concert buddies. I could add my dad here as well since he did take me to my first two concerts, but I'm not sure that counts. Both Scott and Anita are ideal concert buddies: we like a lot of the same music, but also like different musicians so we all get exposed to new bands because of the other person. I took both of them to their first Decemberists concert (different shows) and Anita went with me to Wilco last summer. Scott and I tend to go to metal shows or we travel for shows. He's the kind of concert buddy that replies, "Memphis" when you ask where he wants to see the Foo Fighters.

This brings me to the Indigo Girls.

I have to admit something about my life as a 90s girl: I only know three songs by the Indigo Girls. Not only do I only know three songs by the band, they're the songs that everyone knows, "Closer to Fine", "Galileo", and "Elizabeth." I'm sure I know other songs by the band, but I couldn't name them if you paid me a million dollars. They're just not my jam. However, it doesn't mean I don't appreciate their music or their talent. Amy and Emily are amazingly talented and also happen to be exceptionally cool human beings. They're activists and have been successful both as a duo and as solo artists. They were also hugely popular at a time in my life where so much good music was coming out. As I always tell people, you can't listen to everything. While I never disliked them, I was more into Tori Amos, Liz Phair, Riot Grrrl bands like Bikini Kill and Sleater-Kinney, grunge bands, Green Day, and hard rock from the 70s. I listened to R.E.M. and 10,000 Maniacs and Fiona Apple. I was "discovering" Big Star and the Velvet Underground and enjoying a bunch of really terrible one-hit wonder songs from bands whose names I can't remember. The 1990s were an amazing time for music.

Anita, on the other hand, is a huge Indigo Girls fan. She's now seen them in concert 15 times. She knows all the words and all the guitars. So when she asked me to go with her to the concert (which was last week), of course I said yes. That's what concert buddies do. I'm also never going to say no to going to Wolf Trap, except for live theatre and the Grease sing-a-long. Trust me on both of these things.

It was a great show. The opening act, The War and Treaty, were super fun. They reminded me of a few bands I used to go see in New Orleans. They're a husband and wife duo and are maybe the most adorable human beings I've ever seen on stage together. They came out later to join the Indigo Girls for "Closer to Fine," which closed out the encore. The Indigo Girls tour with a band sometimes; this is not that tour. It's the two of them and a violinist (Lyris Hung). They switch out guitars for almost every song. Anita told me it's a system the band has had in place for years. She told that there was a time in her Indigo Girls fan life where she could have told me the song they were about to play because of the guitars. That is a true fan.

What I enjoyed most about this concert was that I had no expectations at all. Normally when I go see a show, I stress about whether the band is going to play my favorite song or if they're going to be play too many new songs. With few exceptions, new songs aren't always the best songs (I'm looking at you, Bob Dylan on the Modern Times tour). Concert anticipation is both a blessing and a curse; it can often lead to a horrible let down. I didn't have to experience that at all with the Indigo Girls. I figured they'd play "Closer to Fine" and "Galileo." I wasn't going to be disappointed if they didn't play "Elizabeth" or if they only played "Closer to Fine." My stake in the concert game was low, and it was amazing. I spent time watching Anita and other fans experience their favorite (or a favorite) band. It was nice to just listen to very talented musicians do their thing and fans enjoying themselves.

If that's not a perfect summer concert, I don't know what is.

 Next time on the Island: Another concert, the song of the summer, and why sometimes you need to follow really innocent accounts on Twitter.

Set list photo

Rise Up! Rock Out!

Back in November, I shared a snippet of conversations I was having with friends and acquaintances who were struggling to make sense of the election and the outcome and the world we were immediately plunged into because of it. I'm not magical so I'm wasn't immune to the same feelings my friends were feeling BUT I felt like I had a strategy in place for moving forward when the election was "done." I would ask my friend "What have you done? What are you willing to do next?" not because I wanted them to feel guilty but because I wanted them to think about how to be part of change in a way that would work for them. And maybe, by being a bit more in the world, the crippling sense of doom would go away bit by bit. That was the plan.

For me, being a "good" citizen is important. I've always believed that being socially and politically active is the point; that's how I define a good citizen. We're supposed to protest and vote and get involved in our communities. We're supposed to care about one another and this country and question our leaders. The Women's March was a powerful reminder of that as have been the countless protests and other movements that have happened since November. Social change isn't easy especially when you're covering ground you should NOT have to repeat but all of these steps are necessary so we don't end up 50 years (or more) in the past.

What's challenging is getting lost in the muck of all of these ideas and the rhetoric and the ridiculousness of a commander in chief who tweets like a teen jacked up on Mountain Dew with equally poor grammar. It's hard sometimes to find the good in the world. I know this. That's why I planned for it (because sometimes I'm a little too Type-A for my own good) and decided to commit myself to more coming off of the natural high the Women's March. I vowed to be more active within my local government (which I am doing in many ways) and to look for a local organization to either donate time or money to (or both). That's how I found Girls Rock! DC.

Celebrating its 10th Anniversary this year, Girls Rock! DC is a summer camp for girls, trans, and non-binary youth which focuses on music, music education, and social justice. The original rock camp was founded in Portland, OR and has spread around the US and the world, with rock camps in most major US cities and in countries like Japan, the UK, and Sweden. During camp week, campers take music classes, learn music history, and form a band. The bands write music together, create their band name, their aesthetic, and a song to be performed at the end of camp Showcase. They also have the opportunity to take workshops on a variety of topics and learn from one another and the camp staff.

Girls Rock! DC (GR!DC) was founded in 2007 by a group of area musicians, teachers, and community organizers to focus on the idea of building community while also rocking out. I heard about Girls Rock! DC from a volunteer at the museum. She and I were discussing getting more involved in local organizations and she mentioned GR!DC. She'd recently gone to a showcase for their adult program, We Rock!, and had thought of me because of my love of rock music and education programs (I'm always surprised by my qualifiers amongst people who know me). I did a little research, saw that they had a call out of for volunteers, and contacted the group. I did a volunteer interview, talked with a member of their leadership team via email about working on the communications team, and showed up at the first training. And then I was hooked completely.

It's rare to walk into a room of people so dedicated to something that you immediately have to tell someone else they need to be involved in this group but that is exactly what happened when I went to my first training (I texted Anita and then made her get up early to come to the showcase). It was awesome to see so many people coming together to make this camp happen. Listening to the various leadership team members talk about the program, the mission, the campers was inspiring. It's a lot of work but it makes a difference for the campers who participate. Many are experiencing not only camp for the first time, but playing a musical instrument for the first time. The camp is very representative of the area, with campers coming from all quadrants of DC, Maryland, and Virginia. It's a supportive, open, and creative space. Girls very rarely get that.

I didn't get to spend the week at camp since I started my new job (this will be remedied next summer) but I did get to spend time working on the showcase program and helping with set up at camp and at the showcase venue, the 9:30 Club. Did I not mention that? The camp showcase is at the 9:30 Club. I know, it's wild. The other volunteers I work with are awesome; I have never met a cooler, more welcoming group of humans in my life. I wasn't sure if my more Type-A personality would work within the group but it seemed to be okay at least for what I was working on throughout the last few weeks. The few campers I got to meet, primarily the members of the Youth Leadership team, were fun to talk to and hear from as they shared their camp experience.

And then there was the showcase. These bands and DJ crews (there were two crews this year) have one week to write and rehearse their song. Many of the campers are learning music for the first time and they range in age from 8-18. What they created for showcase was amazing; the songs were from the heart, timely, and full of spirit and resistance. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

Here are a few samples:
from "Freedom and Justice" by Awesome Jamz-P.O.M.S
Yo, my freedom is everything, everything to me
I might even sing in it in four harmony
I got my sisters by my side
You know that they down to ride
They call me up, and they say "hey!"
We fighting for freedom and justice everyday

from Unknown Dawn's song
Don't give up 
Believe in yourself
Change what you want to change
Don't be bothered by anyone else
Try your hardest and love yourself

There was also a song called "Triggered" by Close Open Doors with a chorus that offered the suggestion of being calm and counting to nine to handle a very serious topic that happens all the time. The band handled it with humor and seriousness all at the same time. There was a lot of poetry and defiance wrapped into these songs. One of my favorite songs was from one of the younger band groups, Galaxy Starzz. It was a dreamy nugget of a song and it was about being you who are and making friends and being stars. The DJ crews were also impressive; it added a great vibe to the showcase and they were really supportive of one another on stage.

At the end of the showcase, all the campers, past and present, and the volunteers come on stage to sing the Girls Rock! DC anthem. Here's my favorite verse from the song:

Now I know I can do anything
I can DJ or play drums or sing
Come on, everyone, get up and dance
Cos the future of rock is in our hands!

Groups like Girls Rock! DC give me hope for the future. I'm excited to continue being part of this organization throughout the year and waiting anxiously for camp 2018. Until then, let's all continue to rise up and rock out!

 Photos by me

Down at the Rock N Roll Club

There's a great documentary called The Other F Word that chronicles prominent punk musicians (which I know is probably an oxymoron) as they navigate the world of fatherhood. Matt Freeman and Lars Frederikson from Rancid, the lead singer of Everclear, one of the Blink-182 guys, Tony Hawk, and Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo and musical score fame are some of the dads featured. I saw this documentary a few years ago on Showtime (of all places). It's a great documentary for many reasons: some of these guys came from single parent homes (mostly raised by mothers) or dealt with abusive or absent fathers and their music is an output of those experiences. Aggression, anger, and pain fuel some of their best songs. Then add their own entry into fatherhood into the mix and it's fascinating to see each one deal with having children and what that means as a punk. I can't remember if it's Tony Adolescent from the band The Adolescents or someone else, but I remember a part of the movie where one of the guys talks about having to decide on curfews and rules knowing that A. he had none of those things and B. he did a lot stupid and illegal things when he was kids' ages. Was he being a good parent, a narc, or something else entirely?

This particular documentary popped into my head as I was standing in line and later standing in the 9:30 Club waiting for the Green Day show to start. I go to a lot of concerts; it's one of my favorite things to do. The types of bands I go see tend to be the types of bands that have fans of all ages. Some of that is the appeal of their music; some of it is younger people coming to see bands they like that their parents introduced them to and they get to share in the concert experience. I think the last time I was at a show with only people my own age was The Strokes show I went to in Honolulu in 2002. That might have had more to do with the venue than anything else; it was at a hidden club in an office park that is popular for karaoke when live bands aren't playing. I half wonder if some random business men wandered in for karaoke and instead stumbled on to an unimpressed Julian Casablancas singing some songs.

But I digress.

Anyway, I was surrounded by all ages both outside in line and once I settled into my spot in the standing room only club. When I go to the 9:30 Club I always stand in the back by the sound booth. This is the best place to stand because no one is behind me to push me forward and I can lean on the booth (very important when standing for four or more hours). The only "problem" with this spot is late comers always stand right in front of me and then I have to wait until they decide to worm their way forward to get out of my line of vision. To my right were two friends, a boy and a girl, in their early twenties who, as far as I could tell, should be dating but are not because they're very good friends but I could see that the dude is super into the girl. I also learned that they're Green Day fanatics and knew all the words and danced liked no one/everyone was watching. Also, we were all wearing the same shoes (as were most of the people in the audience). On my left, at first it was a couple, around my age who were possibly on a date night away from their children. They did not seem like a couple who would be into Green Day but I then remembered they were in high school in 1994, the last time Green Day played at the 9:30 Club so they are exactly the type of people who would be Green Day fans. A little while later they would be joined by an older gentleman, maybe in his late 50s or early 60s. I'm pretty certain he picked standing next to me as a choice since A. people have a hard time determining how old I am so that B. if he hit one me, it would be with an appropriately younger woman rather than a teenager. This is how rock show logic works.

To the front - a sea of humanity, spanning from a dude my dad's age wearing an Offspring t-shirt to a smattering of children in their early teens to the legion of people in the early to mid-30s who were probably all thinking to themselves "my feet are going to hurt so bad tomorrow and I have to go to work, but fuck it all, I want to rock out at the Green Day show!" There were a surprising number of people I will describe as "business men" (you know what I mean). I have no idea if they were there from work or were in some way connected to the bands. They spent the show looking official and out of place even as they got into songs. It was strange. My favorites where the kids, mostly around 12 or 13, accompanied by their parents who were wearing Green Day shirts from the 90s. One of the kids, the one who made it on stage to sing the last verse of "Longview", looked like a mini Billy Joe Armstrong. He did an epic stage dive and crowd surfed his way back to where his mom was waiting for him (not joking about any of this). Another kid I saw in line could have been Joey Ramone's little brother. There were a couple of kids in the upstairs section who looked in awe of what was going on around them; I'm guessing it was their first concert. It's the multi-generational nature of shows like this that make me a proud rock fan.

I can say, hands down, this is one of the best concerts I've ever been to. Part of it was the venue; the 9:30 Club is small and intimate. I think its capacity is around 1200 for standing shows and the Green Day show sold out in a record five minutes. I was one of those people who logged on at 8:30 in the morning the day the tickets went on sale. When I refreshed at 10 am, I had my ticket in 2 minutes. Apparently, I'm the only one who had that experience (sorry guys who didn't get tickets...but not really). This was my first Green Day show and I don't know if I can ever see them again after this. The opening act, Dog Party, was great. For the Riot Grrl in me, they were the perfect start to the evening. A few minutes before Green Day was set to start, Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" started playing and incited an epic audience singalong for the entirety of the song. If you've never been in a rock club with a thousand of your closest friends singing along to this song, you have not lived. This was followed by The Ramones' "Blitzkrieg Bop" and a person in a bunny suit taunting the audience and getting everyone ready for the big show.

Green Day hit the stage and started with "Know Your Enemy" off of 21st Century Breakdown, and on the musical version of my favorite of their albums (although not my first Green Day album) American Idiot. I've been obsessed with American Idiot since it came out and love the Broadway musical version equally. It was one of those albums that was so timely when it was released and has remained so, especially if you think of where we are now in the current election cycle. I've been in some very enthusiastic crowds at concerts but never anything like this. The energy, both from the band and the audience, was on from the start and never stopped even through a few songs from the new album people weren't as familiar with (because the new album came out four days after this concert). A big part of this is the band; they have the energy of a band half their age and enjoy performing. They're talented and still have that mischievous quality about them that made Green Day famous (and/or makes them sellouts depending on which camp you belong to). The look on the kid's face when Billie Joe Armstrong told him to stage dive was amazing; that kid will never forget that moment. He'll probably start a band if he hasn't already.

I could feel the music. You know when you go to a concert and you can actually feel the music? Like the drums hit you in the sternum and the bass sits in your stomach and the rest of it takes over and your totally immersed in each song? That was what this concert was like. None of it is because the music is loud but it's because you know the songs and the band and the fans. It's because each person is part of the creating the moment of that show. I wrote a scene much like this at the end of novel (the one that is almost done and I hope to soon self-publish). As I leaned back against the booth in a quieter moment (not many of these throughout the evening), I realized how right I got that scene. There is, in that time before a band comes on stage or in the silence between songs, a second where the crowd relaxes, regroups after dancing or moshing around, and then sucks in a collective breath and waits for the next song to burst into the world. When it does, the organized chaos of a rock concert continues and no one can help but get swept up in the moment.

We weren't supposed to take pictures but I snuck one. I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not since there were people filming the show who shouldn't have been. Green Day will have to forgive us all.

Return of the Old Lady Concert Rules

There is nothing I like more than going to summer concerts. There's something about listening to music, usually outdoors, on a warm summer evening that makes me feel young and invincible. I remember my first outdoor concert was Huey Lewis & the News one summer in Detroit when I was 12 or 13. I even remember wearing these really ridiculous earrings to that concert. I have no idea why it was important that I wear them but I know it was a big deal. Anyway, I don't remember much else about that concert except that I got to stay up late and hang out with my older brother. Ever since that show, I've made a habit of seeing several shows over the summer months and this summer is no exception.

This year's lineup:

• Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds (July 23 at Constitution Hall)
• KISS & Def Leppard (July 25 at Jiffy Lube Live)
• Heart (July 29 at Wolf Trap)
• Santana & Rod Stewart (August 19 at the Verizon Center)
• Motely Crue & Alice Cooper (August 22 at Jiffy Lube Live)

It's sort of a random group of concerts but in my head it makes absolute sense. I'm hoping that KISS plays this song although I'm sure they won't.

I have two go-to concert buddies: my brother, Scott and my friend, Anita. I've gone to many concerts with them both over the years including the time all three of us went to see They Might Be Giants at Ram's Head in Baltimore. They're both ideal concert buddies in that they'll go to just about any concert if asked even if they're not familiar with the band. Scott had never even heard of The Decemberists prior to seeing them with the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra a few years ago. He liked them enough to go see them with me again the following year. And Anita - she knows exactly four songs by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds but is going to see them with me on Wednesday anyway. I'm hopeful that she'll enjoy the band as much as I do.

What makes Scott and Anita exceptional concert buddies is their adherence to and support of my Old Lady Concert Rules. In fact, they've both helped to create some of these rules over the years. Just to be clear; just because I have concert rules does not mean that I am a killer of fun. I love fun and love concerts and the Rules help to ensure that we all do, in fact, have fun. Going to see live music is one of my favorite things to do and I enjoy it more when people around me aren't acting like morons or like we're sitting in their living room. Yes, we all enjoy live shows in our own ways but I feel like we need a social contract we can all agree to when we enter the arena or auditorium. That way, we all have fun and no one gets punched in the throat.

So in the interest of fun, let's review the Old Lady Concert Rules.

1. Don't wear the shirt of the band you're going to see. Don't be that guy. (Thank you Jeremy Piven in PCU for this one.)
2. No large bags or backpacks in the pit or other standing room shows. I get that in DC most of us come from work to shows during the week but do you really need that backpack while standing at the 9:30 Club? Doesn't your office allow you to lock up your laptop or something? I'm pretty short so your backpack and my face are probably at the same level so if you do have to bring it at least be aware of the people around you when you're dancing or whatever.
3. I don't like to stand at concerts. This is why I buy seats whenever possible. I don't sit on the lawn and I don't buy tickets in the pit when there are perfectly good seats to be had. If you also spent the money for a seat, SIT IN IT. Unless every other human in the arena is standing, sit down.
4. More pit/standing room etiquette: If you are late, stay to the back of the room. I got here at a reasonable time to get close to the stage and you should have too. This is especially jerky if the show has already started and you're elbowing your way to the front with your stupid backpack. Don't tell me your friend is at the front; she's not. You're lying. Show me your friend and I'll let you pass as long as I have confirmation that you know the person you've sort of gestured at. 
5. Someone has to be the DD for most shows. If you are that friend, congratulations you are a genuinely good person. I hope your friends do you a solid and take their turns at some point. However, being the DD isn't just about driving and making sure they get home safely. You have now been elected the babysitter of the group. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but it's true. So when your dudes start spilling beer on people and generally being jerks in public, as the sober one, people are going to look to you to rein them in. It's not fair but know that you have a special place in concertgoer heaven reserved for you. 
6. If you aren't the DD of your group and you've decided to imbibe at the show, please make sure to respect those around you by apologizing if you spill beer on them (especially in their hair - not that this has ever happened to me), know your limits (you don't need that fifth shot of Fireball and a beer chaser), and most importantly watch for stairs. Concerts don't need to end in a trip to the emergency room and a broken nose.
7. Respect the space around you. Even at outdoor shows, it's still not Woodstock and most people aren't interested in your dancing and space invasion. Dance all you want and dance like no one is watching but be respectful of those around you who are also dancing like no one is watching.
8. Don't use words like "merch" and "gig"- you're not with the band. And even if you are it makes you sound pretentious. 
9. Let's keep our cell phone use to a minimum. I like taking pictures of the shows I go to see as much as the next person but I also like watching the show that I'm seeing. So get your pictures done, take a selfie or two, and then put it away. Cell phones and lighters are not the same thing.
10. Don't yell "Freebird." It's not funny, the band doesn't appreciate it, and chances are the vast majority of the audience doesn't get the reference anyway (depending on the show).
11. Control the volume of your voice. This is especially true when you're at indoor shows at smaller venues; your voice carries and we can all hear you during breaks or softer songs. Listen to The Velvet Underground Live at Max's Kansas City for the perfect example of why this is a terrible thing to do at shows. Even if you're famous.
12. And finally, I get that I missed all the great music because it was all made before I was born or when I was small but you know what, these bands and musicians are still playing and we can watch them right now. And it's awesome that we can. Don't ruin that experience just because you think the band has "sold out" or has new members or whatever. Remember what it was like the first time you saw that band and let people have their own version of that experience. 

There you have it - the Old Lady Concert Rules. None of these rules are difficult or impede on your fun.Y'all know I like being a good citizen so these rules are just an extension of my love of civil societies and being nice to one another. That's it - I'm not here to ruin your fun.

I leave you with the immortal words of AC/DC. Get out there and be a good rock and roll citizen!