There's a con for that

This weekend marks the official end of summer. I hope that you spent this summer doing all the things that people do in the summer: sweating, complaining about the heat, getting sunburned, day drinking, making asinine comments about how it's not hot it's just the humidity. Maybe you went on vacation, maybe you stayed home. As long as you had some fun, saw at least one movie featuring an explosion, and took at least one day off work you have won summer. We're not eight anymore so that has to be enough.

I was supposed to be spending this last weekend of summer in Atlanta at DragonCon, one of the hundreds (at least it seems like there are hundreds) sci-fi/comic/pop culture conventions that happen throughout the year. My friend Jessica and I have been planning to go to DragonCon for two summers now and failed miserably both times. We want to practice at smaller cons before we go to the big show - Comic-Con. At the rate we're going now, we'll probably make it to Comic-Con by the time we're in our sixties. Last year was entirely my fault: I moved back to Virginia at the end of July and couldn't do a trip so soon after a cross-country move. This year, I blame work for our missing out on the con. Both of us work for the same company and we've just hit our busy season. We agreed that we'd try again next year. I think we're both also going to try smaller cons in our areas this year too. I intend to go to Awesome Con DC this April.

Like heavy metal, cons are not a thing most people associate with me but I have some very geeky/nerdy tendencies and cons are made for people to revel in all their geekdom. Historically, most cons were tied to comic books, animation, anime, and the worlds of different sci-fi/fantasy franchises. In more recent years, pop culture has taken over at most cons so now many of the larger cons are home to all sorts of fandoms from your typical DC or Marvel Comics fans to Star Wars and Star Trek to video games to horror movies and AMC shows (but not my favorite Hell on Wheels - make this happen Comic-Con). There seems to be a little bit of everything and there seems to be a con for just about everything. I like Marvel Comics (although I'm not a rabid reader by any means), Star Wars, Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright/Nick Frost movies, books like The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galazy and The Hunger Games, and anything that involves Joss Whedon. For me, going to something like Comic-Con or DragonCon will probably be more about the phenomenon itself and less about the fandom which probably means everyone there will hate me.

What I'm getting at is that I need to make my own cons for the things that I'm truly and completely obsessed with. I'm certain that there are others out there that would agree and would attend. So here is my top five list of the cons I wish existed (and if they do, please let me know so I can attend):

1. Pegg/Wright/Frost Con, or the Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy Con: Yes, these gentlemen have found a home amongst the fans at Comic-Con but I would prefer a separate event devoted only to the works of Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, and Nick Frost. We can include the excellent tv show Spaced, the trilogy, and some of their other efforts that are worthy enough (Paul, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, and Simon Pegg's book Nerd Do Well). Maybe it could be held in various pubs named for the pubs in the three films. Also, I'd like to hang out with Paddy Considine (because I love him) so this might be the only way that would happen.
2. It's Rex Manning Day: Empire Records is one of my all time favorite movies and I believe it deserves an event so that we can all come together to ask one of the most important questions of our time (and by "our time" I mean the mid-1990s) "What's with today today?" This particular con would take place on April 8 (the date on the poster for Rex Manning Day in the film) and would take place in Delaware since that's where the film was made. The day would end with us dancing on the roof of the abandoned record store where we'll meet to the song "This Is the Day" by The The. Magic.
3. C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R: This has absolutely nothing to do with transportation of any form but of course my obsession with Grease 2. Since Maxwell Caufield is also in this movie, in theory, we could combine this con with It's Rex Manning Day (it would save on the convention center space). I envision booths for buying the epic reversible Pink Lady jacket that Stephanie wears and food stands that never run out of ketchup. Panel discussions would include topics as Adrian Zmed's hair; Who's That Guy?: Deconstruction of the Mystery Man in Film and TV; Do It For Our Country: A Discussion of Sex, Teenagers, and Patriotism.
4. All I Needed to Know About Love I Learned from John Hughes: Do I really need to explain this one? When I went to Molly Ringwald's book talk last year, half the people in attendance (mostly women my age or just slightly older) were there because Molly Ringwald's characters in the big three Hughes films were incredibly influential in their lives (I heard this over and over again as I waited in line to get my book signed) so wouldn't it be awesome to come together and celebrate the man and the movies that got it so right? We could expand to the other Hughes films too (since there are many between his writing and directing credits).  Maybe one of the events could be a "Make a Better Dress for Andie" contest because seriously, that dress is the worst.
5. Our Little Corner of the World - A Gathering of Gilmore Girls: For real, why doesn't this exist? Think of all the themed events we could have - Firelight Festival, the Festival of Living Art, the holiday themed festivals - there are so many. There could be a town troubadour contest. I'd love to see a panel on the great Rory boyfriend debate as well as one on of the importance of the character of Jason Stiles in season four. Lane's band could perform. There could be a mother/daughter fashion show. We could buy stuff that Lorelai and Rory have in their home. I have so many feelings about this con that I don't even know where to start. The show may have  ended but the magic doesn't have to.

Maybe I've missed my calling in life. Maybe I'm not supposed to be a trainer but a niche fandom convention planner. This idea and "job" appeals to my love of lists and my obsessive attachment to fictional characters. I mean, if dude fans of My Little Pony get their own cons (and I have strong feelings about Bronies but there's a time to discuss that and today is not that time), why can't I get one for Gilmore Girls or John Hughes movies?

What do I have to do to make this happen?

You are what you read...

From my last move

Every time I move, I count of the number of boxes I use for books. In my last two moves, I ended up with 12 boxes of books. This may not seem like a lot to some people but for me, it's huge. I'm one person and have amassed 12 boxes of books. It seems insane. This is even after I do a book purge as one of the phases of packing. I don't even have the appropriate space in my apartment to house all my books. Books are stacked on my coffee table (there are 15 books there now: ten that I haven't read yet, one that I just purchased yesterday and sort of started, one that's in progress but no where near finished, and three Paris related books). My two bookcases are seriously stuffed, books stacked in all different ways. I guess they're cozy.

Back in December, I read this review in The Washington Post about books about books. I was shocked by the first sentence - the average American reads four books in a year. FOUR BOOKS!? What is wrong with America? (Don't answer that.) I've been trying to wrap my head around this statistic since I read the article and have shared this with numerous people (also avid readers) and I still don't get it. Now I know we're all busy people and have various levels of access to books (in real book form or electronically) so maybe reading four books in a year is totally normal and I need to just stop thinking about it. But I can't. Much like I don't understand when people tell me they don't like music, I don't understand people who don't read. And I said "don't" not "can't" - literacy is a completely different issue. This is a topic for another day.

Reading is fundamental friends - it  makes us better writers, communicators, and humans. Even the fluffiest piece of chick lit has the ability to take you out of the normal of your daily life and make you believe in love and meet-cutes. Reading is magic.

My mom once commented on the old FB that my brother and I both carried books around like stuffed animals when we were younger. This is an image I can get behind although I seem to remember having some stuffed animals I carried everywhere too. I loved summer reading more than summer itself - I would read through my list way too fast and then the librarian would have to find other books for me to read. Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary, and Ann M. Martin were early favorites. Having an older brother meant that not only did I get to learn about The Cure and Metallica before most of my friends, I also got to read Stephen King before it was probably appropriate.

My ideal bookshelf

One of the books mentioned in The Washington Post review is a book called My Ideal Bookshelf. I picked this book up before I read the review and it's a lovely tribute to the books people love. In  2007, artist Jane Mount began a project chronicling people through the books they love. She paints the books arranged as a bookshelf. Jane joined forces with Thessaly La Force to create a book that combines the illustrations with interviews conducted by La Force. Among my favorites chronicled are Dave Eggers, Drew Gilpin Faust, Kim Gordon, Pico Iyer, Chuck Klosterman, Patti Smith, Mira Nair, and Thomas Keller. Each shares their "ideal bookshelf" and talks about the books and the influence they've had. I like that I've read lots of the included books. I also ended up with a two page list of books I "need" to read. I even tweeted a picture of my ideal bookshelf to the authors (as they encourage you to do so at the end). They retweeted and commented that they weren't aware of one my books and were going to check it out. Success! If you're thinking ahead to my birthday and are wondering what to get me, I would suggest this.

One of the other things that came out of this review is my new obsession with tracking the number of books I read. In January alone I read more books than the average American reads in a year. I also have an "in progress" list (since sometimes I stop books in the middle but come back to them) and a "need to read" list that is a bit staggering in volume.

The count so far:

• January - 6
• February - 4
• March - 4 (with two days left in the month - I'm in the middle of Jennifer Egan's A Visit From the Goon Squad and could potentially have it done later today) 

Not only am I tracking my books, I'm also tracking actual versus Kindle books (4 out of 14). Getting a Kindle was either the worst thing I've ever done (it was a lovely gift from my parents) or an excellent life choice. I haven't been able to decide which. I like the ease of traveling with a Kindle but I miss the smell of a book and the heft of reading an actual book. Also, cover art is awesome. I feel about book art the way I feel about album art.

I guess this all just means that one day I'll be an old lady surrounded by books and albums and CDs. And probably cats - lots of cats.

Lazy Movie Weekend: Does Elvis talk to you?

This post is in no way shape or form about the great television show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'm a huge fan of the show but couldn't even begin to write anything about the it with any authority (especially given that one of my favorite episodes is "Once More with Feeling" - the one where they all end up singing the whole episode) and there are other people better suited to write about the show than me. Instead, I'm going to take us back to a wild time before we ever met Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy or thought about how much we love Spike (seriously, I prefer Spike over Angel every day of the week) and before Joss Whedon was the boss of all things ever (I'll basically watch anything he creates).

That time is 1992 and in 1992, Kristy Swanson was our Buffy. And it was awesome and hilarious. I can't even remember the first time I saw this movie but I know that I immediately loved it. It was one of the first non-Brat Pack/80s movies that I truly loved. So here we go, Island readers, the definitive list of why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the best.

1. Kristy Swanson as Buffy. First, this is Duckie's Duckette from Pretty in Pink so already this is the greatest casting ever. Second, do you remember the movie Deadly Friend in which Kristy's character is murdered by her abusive father but then "saved" by her nerdy neighbor friend when he replaces her brain with his robot pal? Yeah, go ahead and check that one out of Netflix (it's one of those only could have happened in the 80s horror movies). Swanson's Buffy a great combination of vapid teen and kick ass superhero. Remember, it's her keen fashion sense that saves the day (more on this later).
2. The soundtrack! It's like a little present from the 90s: C&C Music Factory, Matthew Sweet, Susanna Hoffs, The diVinyls, and Toad the Wet Sprocket. Can I live in the soundtrack for a bit? Between this and the Singles soundtrack, I could OD on nostalgia right now.
3. Seriously, it was 1992. People did crazy, crazy things. Like hang out with David Arquette.
4. I know Joss Whedon doesn't consider this the canon for Buffy. I appreciate that and agree but this is the beginning of a singularly kick-ass character and even if the movie is fluffier and sillier than intended, Buffy still rules. I would still want to be a vampire slayer even if this was the only Buffy I had ever seen.
5. This is Hillary Swank's first movie (she plays Buffy's most irritating friend, Kimberly). When she won her first Oscar for Boys Don't Cry and was all of the sudden a "serious actress" all I could think of was her saying "sitch" and the end credits when she thinks she's Miss America. 
6. When Buffy punches Merrick and "doesn't even break a nail." I have never punched anyone but I imagine I would break a nail and possibly my hand. Because I am not the Slayer.
7. A large number of the male cast was in the movie School Ties (Randall Bantikoff, Andrew Lowery, Ben Affleck- yes he is in this movie). I often wonder if they were trying for like a 90s version of the Brat Pack but it never worked out.
8. Buffy's Mom (Candy Clark) was Mary Lou in the David Bowie "masterpiece" The Man Who Fell to Earth. Rikki Lake is a waitress, Ben Affleck is on the rival basketball team, and Greuller was Don Dawson in Dazed and Confused. And Kristy Swanson's dad is the ref. Let's pack as many odd people into one movie as humanly possible. It'll be fun. David Bowie, Mick Jagger, and Cary Elwes were all supposed to play vampires as well but this was cut due to budget and time. (Fun fact right?)
9. Two words: Luke Perry. It was the 90s. Everyone watched Beverly Hills, 90210. I hated Brenda but loooooved Dylan and wanted him to realize what a waste of time Brenda was and move on (maybe my first real attachment to tv characters). I was so excited that Luke Perry was in this movie. And he's awesome. He rocks a vest, acts like a moron, saves the day (sort of) and there's that lovely dance at the end (more on this later). He's a dream. Except the facial hair - your weird soul patch has got to go.
10. Easily one of the most quotable movies I've ever seen (up there with Empire Records and Anchorman). "Pike's isn't a name, it's a fish." "You threw a knife at my head." "You're floating!" "Oh yeah, but you'd never call me." "Kill him a lot." "Does the word duh mean anything to you?" I could go on (and probably will) but you get the point. 
11. Paul Reubens is in this movie. When I first saw this movie all I could think of was "La-la-la-la-la. Connect the dots." I also really wanted a secret word during this movie (because it could have been duh and that would have been awesome). Paul Reubens will always be Pee-Wee Herman to a specific generation of people and I know he probably hates that. He's such a scene stealer in this movie and has the longest (into the credits) death sequence of any cinematic vampire of all time.
12. Rutger Hauer as Lothos, the Master. Fun fact about Rutger Hauer: Anne Rice always pictured him playing Lestat if any of her books were made into films. Probably would have been better than what we got (at least with Tom Cruise). Lothos sort of bothers me in this movie, mostly because he's hard to understand and doesn't seem very threatening even for a villain in a comedy. He looked a little too much like Edgar Allan Poe in the movie and I wanted him to be more, I guess.
13. "Does Elvis talk to you? Does he tell you to do things? Do you see spots?" Buffy to Merrick on finding out she's the Chosen One. This is my favorite quote! I used this all the time in high school and may need to bring it back to my life now because it's perfection.
14. Remember Doritos Light? 
15. Let's talk facial hair for a moment: Luke Perry's awful soul patch, Amilyn's (Paul Reubens) disastrous attempt to bring his old time-y fashion into the 90s, Lothos and Merrick both look like creepy old men (not in a scary movie way). The facial hair needed to be more seriously considered. It was a great moment with Luke Perry shaved his off. Collective 90210 fans everywhere sighed in relief.
16. I love the basketball coach. It's so 90s to have this "you're okay and special" kind of coach. "I am a person. I have a right to the ball."
17. So much fashion, so little taste. Jean jackets and short dresses, neon yellow leather jackets, chunky boots (why can't these come back in style?), chartreuse. 90s fashion slays me - pun intended.
18.  Question: Who gets to decorate the insides of lockers in movies? Is it the props people? The actors? I would be exceptionally good at that job.
19. Doesn't David Arquette look like a demented elf when he gets turned into a vampire? They all have weird ears, but he looks the most like a demented elf. 
20. When Buffy is sitting on the fresh grave (because she goes to a graveyard with a strange man on a school night) and asks Merrick for gum. He doesn't have any and she gives him this look. It's a look that every parent with a teenager has seen and now that I see it I want to apologize to my parents for being a jerky teen.
21. "All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die." That's all anyone wants to do.
22. Let's talk about Merrick: Donald Sutherland is a great actor but I can't stand him in this movie. Apparently, he rewrote most of the dialogue (which explains a lot) and was difficult to work with on the set (this comes from multiple sources including Joss Whedon's own comments). He's the appropriate kind of person to be a watcher but there's something too creepy about him and it doesn't work in a comedy. But I do enjoy him a little later in the movie when Buffy is training and he starts to see her potential. He's less creepy and it's better.
23. The song "I Ain't Gonna Eat Out My Heart Anymore" by The diVinyls. I looooooooove this song (by the way, it's a cover of a Young Rascals song). Anyway, this is Buffy's training song and it makes me want to do cartwheels and handsprings and toaster kicks too. And now you know two songs by The diVinyls.
24. Stephen Root as Principal Gary. Yes, it's Milton from Office Space in yet another bumbling, hilarious role. His rambling about taking acid at a Doobie Brothers concert and being a toaster is hilarious. And then Buffy kills a fly by spitting a thumb tack at it. 
25. Do you think Pike would have ended up living in his van? You know, down by the river? (It's just so easy to make 90s references work in any occasion.)
26. Buffy calls Merrick a "sconehead". Now, I don't watch Downton Abbey but when I was watching the movie, I got this image in my head of Maggie Smith calling some random character on that show a sconehead and I couldn't stop laughing. 
27. Do you think that every time Merrick is reborn as a Watcher he looks the same? Does he get to pick what he looks like or any of the parameters of his life? 
28. Did you know that both Seth Green and Chi Muoi Lo were in both the movie and on the tv show? Both play vampires at the dance at the end - you can barely see Seth Green (you know it's him because of the hair) and Chi Muoi Lo is the vampire that says something like "We want Buffy." You're welcome.
29. "Get out of my facial." This is the reason I hate Hillary Swank. I just can't with her. I don't even want to try to like her. Don't try to make arguments about her being a great actress or whatever. It won't work.
30. Buffy's keen fashion sense: I question this because of the horrible dress she wears to the dance (like Molly Ringwald - failing teen girls always) but then the dress sort of works and she uses hairspray and fire to get away from Lothos. I will say that I love the pink polka dot dress in the beginning, the green polka dot shirt when she meets Merrick, and her ability to wear jean jackets and not look weird. Slayer fashion should be a thing.
31. "You broke up with my machine?" Really Jeffrey? Really?
32. And then the Toad the Wet Sprocket song comes on at the dance. And Buffy is alone until Pike comes in and they dance. Is it wrong to have wanted a high school dance moment exactly like this when I was in high school? Or to want a high school dance moment exactly like this now? The song is called "Little Heaven" and I would like to dance to it exactly like in this movie (without the vampires and the terrible dress). Does anyone even listen to Toad the Wet Sprocket anymore? I love them.
33. Pike's jacket = Slayer badassness is about to happen. I love it when main characters in movies get awesome jackets and it somehow makes them even cooler. I watched The Matrix and couldn't wait for Neo to get his jacket. That was really all I cared about.
34. "Forget them. Live forever. We could start a band." Benny to Pike during the fight at the dance. What would a vampire band be called? What kind of music would they play? 
35. SPOILER ALERT (as if there haven't been a ton of those already): Lothos dies and then Pike actually asks Buffy to dance and they dance to no music and it is lovely.  And then a Susanna Hoffs song plays (it's called "We Close Our Eyes").
36. And then Pike and Buffy hop on his motorcycle and ride off into the sunset (although the sun isn't up but that's what they're doing I guess). All to a Susanna Hoffs song. Because it's 1992 and that's how we rolled.

Watch the end credits because there's a fun section that includes a slam on Young Republicans, the Hillary Swank Miss America moment, and Paul Reubens still dying. Also, if you sit through all the credits you can hear The diVinyls song again. It's so worth it.

So what have we learned today? That I spend way too much time thinking about movies. That we'd all rather be vampire slayers than cheerleaders. That just because it's not the canon doesn't mean it's not good. And that lazy movie weekends are the best weekends of all.

We all geek out about something - enjoy your geek moments. I know I do.