Wherever I May Roam...As long as I get to plan the trip

My brother thinks I'm bossy. We have this conversation occasionally and it's usually because I have been the decisive member of our family. It could be about planning my mom's birthday, driving cross country, or going through the basement and getting rid of all the crap that lives there. My brother, if questioned extensively, would probably be able to point to multiple times in our lives where I have bossed him into doing something. Usually, the end result is very positive. My bossiness is a positive trait (at least that's how I see it) and it moves us along and means that we are, as a family, more decisive. I do not believe we should "ban bossy" as some people would like us to do. I love being bossy. Banning the word bossy isn't going to solve the issue of female empowerment. I think it will have the opposite effect. I feel the same way about bossy that I do about slang terms for female anatomy that are used as slurs; if you don't take ownership of the word it allows someone else to do it for you. Own bossy, don't ban it.

I digress. Several years ago I decided to try Netflix. This was back when you could only do the DVD option and no one binge watched television. I believe we had more patience back then (in 2004). My first Netflix delivery was the documentary Some Kind of Monster. If you've never heard of this documentary, it's follows the heavy metal band Metallica and their experience going through therapy as a band, recording their album (the terrible St. Anger), and replacing bassist Jason Newsted. Newsted left the band (for lots of reasons) and as a result, Metallica's management team hires a life coach-y guy to works with the band through their issues so they can deliver the new album. My description is not doing the film justice; you really just have to watch it. You don't even have to be a Metallica fan or a heavy metal fan to enjoy the film. Would it help you if I told you that Dave Mustaine (he was kicked out of the band in the 80s and went on to start Megadeth) almost cries during his confrontation scene with Lars Ulrich? Watch it just for that. My brother and I convinced that there is "lost" footage of Dave crying but since the damage to his psyche has been complete, the filmmakers opted to keep it out of the finished film. Weak.



Anyway, Metallica is one of my brother's favorite bands (he also enjoys Megadeth) so when I finished watching the film I immediately sent him a text that he had to watch it and that I would bring the Netflix DVD to him. I wouldn't say I was being bossy just incredibly enthusiastic about something that I thought my brother would enjoy. My brother might say otherwise. He watched it, agreed that it would have been better if Dave Mustaine had actually cried, and went on with his life. We occasionally talk about the film at odd times and went to see Metallica live during the Death Magnetic tour in 2008 (one of my top five concerts). I genuinely like Metallica. I own several of their albums and the concert was amazing. Lars Ulrich is a phenomenal drummer (and incredibly narcissistic) and James Hetfield is terrifyingly awesome. Kirk Hammett, the guitarist, is a saint (dude puts up with a lot of BS from the others) and the bassist selected during the film, Robert Trujillo, fits in the lineup nicely. I feel sort of bad for Trujillo. Dude probably just wanted to play bass in a heavy metal band (and play he does) but he also inherited a band that is sort of broken (at least at the time) and run somewhat like a corporation. There's even a part in the film where the rest of the band discusses their original bassist, Cliff Burton. You get the sense that no one will ever replace Burton. That's a hard role to be in.

Last week I detailed our adventures on Record Store Day 2014. We could have spent our day in Baltimore waiting in a crowd at The Sound Garden for Robert Trujillo but we did not. My brother admitted that he didn't want to deal with a crowd for the a guy who wasn't part of the original lineup (poor Robert Trujillo). Had it been any other member of the band, he would have done. I did not boss him into going and we had a nice day visiting a few stores and eating tater tots. I did, however, re-watch Some Kind of Monster. And here is the grand realization that I had: I am Lars Ulrich and my brother is Kirk Hammett. Metallica is often described as a band that's existence is fueled by the constant power struggle between Lars and James and that other members, including Kirk, are often left powerless and voiceless in the band. This is probably one of the reasons that Jason Newsted left. In my re-watching of the documentary, I remembered my initial reaction to Kirk's role in the band - poor Kirk. There's even a scene where the band is discussing guitar solos and the guys stop short of calling them unnecessary. Seriously Metallica?

I had actually come to the realization that my brother is the Kirk Hammett of our family earlier in the day when we were discussing the documentary with my friend Anita. She has not seen it nor is she into Metallica so the whole band history was bit foreign to her. As we described the events of the film and the band, she agreed with my comparison. Anita has known my brother forever so she wasn't just following my weirdo theory. Scott, my brother, is fairly unassuming, responsible, likes loud guitar music, keeps to himself, and is pretty quiet. Kirk Hammett is fairly unassuming (for being a member of Metallica), responsible (at least he seems like he is), likes loud guitar music, keeps to himself, and is pretty quiet. Lars, on the other hand, is pretty loud, sort of a jerk, and 100% bossy. Now, I don't think I'm nearly a narcissist like Lars or as much of a jerk (and PS: Lars is my favorite member of Metallica) as he is but when it comes to bossiness and saying things that sound complimentary but maybe aren't, Lars and I are the same person. I'm also a bit of a perfectionist like Lars. I would have probably made Dave Mustaine cry too. 

What's important to keep in mind is that you can't have Metallica without both Kirk and Lars just as you can't have my family without Scott and I. I mean, you could but it wouldn't be our family just like Metallica would never be the same if any of the original lineup left. You need bossy and you need quiet sensibility. That's what keeps the world going round.

Take Back Bossy
Band image
Kirk Hammett

Spring has sprung

Two things really mark the start of spring for me: there is an exponential increase in the possibility that my car and low-flying birds will collide and bird death will occur AND Record Store Day arrives. I have yet to experience any car-bird collisions as of today. Spring is still very young.

Happy Record Store Day 2014! I hope that everyone got out and supported their local record store even if it wasn't participating in the official day. You support music, your local economy, and get to enjoy a beautiful spring day. That's three wins for RSD. This is my fifth RSD (and it's the seventh RSD ever). I didn't start going to RSD because of the special releases (although I have picked up a few over the years) or the in store events. Both of those aspects of the day are awesome and I think they bring people to the event that might not other wise participate. I started going because I like to be around people who like music as much as I do. With the exception of one incident two years ago, I have never once felt judged by a fellow browser or record store clerk. Not every record store clerk is a jerk like Barry in High Fidelity:

Anyway, it's nice to see other people talking about music and shopping for music. These are people who respect liner notes and album art and collecting things. They understand that record stores special and safe. It's a way to feel connected in an otherwise disconnected universe (as I discussed last year). RSD is sort of like a con; people with a shared interest assemble in the same location to enjoy that shared interest free of the judgement of others. At RSD, I don't have to defend my choice to purchase albums and CDs. Yes, there are a lot of hipsters out there who act like they discovered vinyl and cassette tapes but I choose to ignore them and go about my business. And that business is looking for items to fill the gaps in my collection.

There were two options for the day: enjoy the records stores of Northern VA or head to Baltimore to stalk a member of Metallica. We opted to stay in the Commonwealth. Our adventures took us to the suburbs to two stores, Record & Tape Exchange and CD Cellar (Falls Church location). The day ended with tots and beer at Spacebar. This year, my brother, Scott, and my friend, Anita joined me in RSD-ing. It was a much more laid back RSD this year and I liked it a lot. While I didn't buy any vinyl today (I almost went back to get the Johnny Cash Live at San Quentin but I refrained), I did add some CDs to the collection (a little Nick Cave, some Replacements, and some things I didn't even really know I needed but I did). Scott even found something - an Iron Maiden CD that included a listing of all of the equipment the band used on while on their epic 1984-85 tour and a daily schedule. None of us have ever seen liner notes like that before.

I think what I enjoyed today that I missed last year was people watching. Neither store was particularly crowded by the time we got there. Most of the diehards were there when the stores opened so we could browse without having to elbow anyone and I never felt rushed to get out of the store. That's probably why I ended up with a DVD of Pump Up the Volume at CD Cellar. While neither store was crowded there were enough people around to make it interesting. My favorite interaction of the day was between a dad (in his late 40s) and his teenage son (about 16 or 17). They were standing next to me (I was browsing soundtracks, they were in the W-X-Y-Z section of the rock section).

Here is the exchange:

Dad: Do you really want this?
Son: I really want it.
Dad: If I buy this for you, you have to fishing.
Son: (Silence)
Dad: Is that a deal?
Son: (Pause. Sigh.) It's a deal.

I smiled after overhearing this conversation. After the son made the deal, the dad added a copy of The Who's Tommy to their pile (I couldn't see what album was tied to the fishing trip) but I hope it was as good as Tommy. There were a lot of parents out with their kids; I think this is a good thing. Get your kids into buying vinyl and used CDs. It's a good hobby to share with your them. If I have children, I hope (no, I pray) they will have good taste in music. Scratch that - I hope they will come out of the womb knowing all of the lyrics to my top five songs. 

Another successful Record Store Day. I ended my day by reorganizing my CD collection and watching the documentary Some Kind of Monster. Not too shabby.

Coming Soon to the Island: Neek Confessional and I will participate in a conversation about dating and provide some updates to horrible advice columns from the past and I will re-purpose my post about Metallica since it's not all RSD related and my brother will enjoy it. It's possible that I compare the two of us to members of the band.

Lazy Movie Weekend: PoP! Goes My Heart

If anyone is looking for something to get me for my birthday this year, I will take a live performance of this song at my office; my birthday is on a Wednesday this year so it needs a little something. I'll completely understand if Hugh Grant is not available but I'm sure a reasonable substitute can be found. June 11 will be here sooner than you think.

The mid-2000s produced a significant amount of underrated films. 2007 was the year of Hot Fuzz, Grindhouse, Waittress, The Nanny Diaries, The Jane Austen Book Club, and The Darjeeling Limited. It was also the year of Juno, Dreamgirls, and No Country for Old Men so I guess it makes sense that a little film like Music and Lyrics would get lost in the shuffle. The film was released in the same month as the Nicholas Cage epic, Ghost Rider. People had more important things to watch I guess.

It's such a delightful movie. Hugh Grant plays a washed up 80s pop singer from a band call PoP!. He makes a career riding on the wave of 80s nostalgia that made up most of the 2000s by playing at high school reunions, state fairs, and the big show, Knott's Berry Farms amusement park. He can't write lyrics but has to write a song for pop princess Cora Corman (think Britney, Christina, and Shakira rolled into one person) called "A Way Back Into Love". Enter Drew Barrymore as the flighty plant waterer/surprise lyricist. Hilarity ensues, feelings are hurt, and love conquers all. And some houseplants may or may not be killed in the process.

PoP! is what every boy band aspired to be in the 1980s - floppy hair (but not Flock of Seagulls hair), a cool wardrobe, and they have an incredibly catchy hit song with adoring fans but they can't make the transition to modern musical tastes and trends. Cora Corman is what most pre-teen girls aspire to be - a hot pop star who gets to dance and wear whatever she wants and understands that music is a business. Alex Fletcher, Grant's character, is caught somewhere in the middle of those two worlds. Unlike Sophie, who sort of bumbles her way into becoming a lyricist, Alex gets that pop stars may seem like they care about the soul of a song but really they care about units sold. The music business is cruel.

Nostalgia is a powerful thing and I think that's why I like this movie so much. With the 80s firmly in mind, let's watch Music and Lyrics.

1.  "PoP! Goes My Heart" video for the opening credits. I am not even joking about wanting this performed on my birthday. I may or may not know the choreography.
2. Fun fact: Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore both learned how to sing for this movie.
3. I don't know about you but I would watch a show called "Battle of the 80s Has-Beens". Eighties pop stars boxing? Yes, please.
4. How many Frankie Goes to Hollywood jokes do you think they can pack into this movie? I counted three but I may have missed some.
5. This is my favorite Brad Garrett role of all time. He's just so funny in this movie and it doesn't even seem like he's trying all that hard. I dare say, he steals the movie from Hugh and Drew with his deadpan delivery and mothering. "I can't go" - it's a simple line later in the movie but it makes me laugh so much. 
6. I will argue that plants make women more comfortable. I am a plant killer so frankly, plants make me anxious.
7. Pro & con lists - yes please!
8. "Yeah, it's nice to see a young woman exploring religion." Alex after witnessing the filming of Cora's "Buddha's Delight" video.
9. Yes, that is Mr. Schuester from Glee. 
10. "It's destiny...or not." Cora is so wise.
11. Sophie figures out better lyrics than the grumpy, misogynistic lyricist hired to help. When Alex asks her to write with him her response is "I just can't she says mysteriously." While I appreciate Sophie's artsy flightiness, it also becomes tired as the movie progresses. 
12. Kristen Johnston as Sophie's sister Rhonda - actually Kristen and Brad are in a tie for stealing the movie. She's so funny and it makes me miss "3rd Rock from the Sun". I would watch an entire movie about Rhonda and her weight loss empire. "If I get fat there goes my fiscal year."
13. The reunion! If anyone could guarantee that my next high school reunion would be like this except with a 1997 appropriate musical act, I would go. Every time I watch this scene and Rhonda pushes to the front I say to myself, "She doesn't even go here." (Name that movie.)
14. Another winning Brad Garrett scene - he does the dance moves off stage, he promotes Knott's Berry Farm, he makes a dad joke. Perfection.
15. "Love Autopsy" should totally be a song.
16. Fun fact: As a child, Hugh Grant took piano lessons from Andrew Lloyd Weber's mother.
17. Sophie: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex. Alex: I so get that. Sophie: But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magical.
18. The Sally Michaels book conundrum: the entire scene where Alex and Sophie discuss literature versus popular music is pretty great. I agree with Alex that pop songs make people feel better than most works of literature BUT he's missing the power of stories and characters that can also transport you to out of your normal life. Also, the whole "I'm Sally Michaels" thing is not my favorite plot device but I get it and I guess it works.
19. Aasif Mandvi! He's the tone deaf doorman. Seems legit.
20. I love Sophie's face when she realizes she has to sing on the demo of the song. The version she and Alex sing is very sweet.
21. The dinner scene: there is no way that Gloria and Sophie are the same size. Also, why would Gloria want to wear the clothes Sophie has been wearing for two days? Ewww. Question: do we think Gloria gets her dress back?
22. I love Sophie's speech to Sloan Cates (what a terribly pretentious name); we all have speeches like that in our minds. And Alex is absolutely correct that Sloan is a jerk (I would call him something worse despite being a lady). Of course, the reality of the situation is that Sophie will never be able to say what she needs to say. Instead it will be the awkward wonder of "I had a pen" and Alex getting into fisticuffs with Sloan.
23. "Don't hurt his hair!" Brad Garrett for the win (during the fight scene).
    
24. I like that Alex describes Sophie as unusual (and it's positive) and that the compliment gives us our second best bit of dialogue: Sophie: That's wonderfully sensitive especially from a man who wears such tight pants. Alex: It forces all the blood to my heart.
25. Rhonda perfectly sums up how you know you're in love, "I don't know. I think it's when they something extraordinary."
26. Cora's version of "A Way Back Into Love" is best described by Sophie: "You didn't actually like that orgasm set to the "Gandhi" soundtrack?"
27. Of course this leads to the big "breakup" that isn't really a breakup but still happens. Alex has a very valid point about Sophie holding the song hostage and giving up - it's definitely her thing. However, she does come through with the perfect last verse for the song.
28. The Cora concert - I don't know what to say or think about her costumes and the entire event. I can tell you that it was not filmed in Madison Square Gardens (it's actually Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum).
29. Yes, I too thought that Alex was being an awful jerk when the song was attributed just to him. But then he goes and does something extraordinary. 
30. Stick around and watch the "PoP! Goes My Heart" video a la Pop Up Video. There are some pretty funny pop facts especially the one about the former lead singer of PoP! having to have hip surgery after doing the band's dance moves.

So there you have it - a little bit of 1987 and 2007 all in one movie. I think Hugh Grant is at his best when he's a little narcissistic and a little washed-up; Alex Fletcher fits that description perfectly. Treat yourself to something fun this weekend (or week if you need a little pick me up) and watch this little gem.

Fun facts
Music and Lyrics poster
Alex and Cora
Sophie and Alex

We Can Be Heroes: G-L-O-R-I-A

When I was in kindergarten (in Sparta, WI) I had an unfortunate altercation with a bicycle. I remember very little of the actual event - I was outside playing with friends on our street and I was running. A boy (older than me) on a bike was riding towards me and we collided. The bike's kickstand punctured my left leg and left a gaping hole. I don't remember there being any blood (my mom said it was because the puncture wound went too deep to bleed) and I recall being given a Dr. Pepper while being stitched up. The stitching up part is also hazy but family lore tells me that the doctor told my parents that I had more stitches in my leg than anyone else he had ever treated. My mom held my hand the whole time and I got to eat dinner on the couch because I had to keep my leg elevated (I guess). Maybe this incident is the true explanation for why I don't like running. Running leads to puncture wounds.

What does this have to do with my final hero, Gloria Steinem? On the surface, not very much. I don't know Gloria personally so it's not like she sent me something during my recovery and that's why I admire her. The bicycle incident left me with a 4 inch scar on my thigh. When I was younger it was a badge of honor; kids thought I was cool. But as I got older that changed. The angry red mark on my leg was weird and I became very aware that anything, even a scar that was the cause of an accident, had the potential for ridicule. Perfection is where it's at (at least for some) and my scar was not perfect (even if it came with an epic story). So I proceeded to hide it; shorts and skirts had to be very specific lengths and I loathed any event that required a bathing suit (I imagine this also has to do with other things but that's a post for another day). My scar and I spent my preteen and teen years in a love-hate relationship.

College was probably the point in time when I became a feminist. I think I always had feminist tendencies and I certainly knew what feminism was (I was obsessed with the 1960s and 70s as a teenager so prime time for the women's movement) but I would not have declared myself a feminist before college. The word carried a negative connotation and I was not yet brave enough to defend what I believed (at least not all of the time). It's also when I started reading Gloria Steinem's writing (and Ms.magazine). Gloria made sense to me and most of her ideas and musings on gender, race, poverty, and equality were like what I believed. I believe in choice and I was finding the words to help me defend that belief. And then I read an essay entitled "In Praise of Women's Bodies" in the anthology Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions. Gloria talked about scars and the emotional power behind them (she was talking about scars related to giving birth) but her words made me think differently about my scar. For men, scars are often a sign of bravery and why couldn't I think of my scar in the same way? I hadn't given birth to anyone but I had been brave in the face of a stupid childhood accident. I was fearless about it as a kindergartner and I would be fearless now. From then on my scar and I had only a love-love relationship. I see it as a part of me and if you believe, as I do, that our bodies tell our story as much as our voices, it is just one interesting story that mine can tell.

Gloria helped me to form the definition of feminism that I follow (the equality and full humanity of women and men) and from her I learned that it was okay to have fears; having fears makes us human. I always found her fear of public speaking and interesting one (I have a fear of bridges). Her writing always seemed like that of a trusted friend. Maybe because my feminism truly started with The Heidi Chronicles I was more at ease with a second wave feminist who didn't make me feel bad about my beliefs or choices. While I admire and respect many of the more radical writers and activists of the same period (and now), I feel more comfortable with Gloria. It doesn't have to be "either you shave your legs or you don't."

Like Diane Keaton, I also appreciate Gloria and her approach to aging. She celebrated her 80th birthday this past Tuesday. For someone who was often belittled because of her looks (one of her most famous essays was "I Was a Playboy Bunny"), she has handled aging gracefully and without the intervention of anything (except some hair dye). I love this quote from a recent New York Times article:

“Fifty was a shock, because it was the end of the center period of life. But once I got over that, 60 was great. Seventy was great. And I loved, I seriously loved aging. I found myself thinking things like: ‘I don’t want anything I don’t have.’ How great is that?” But, she added, “80 is about mortality, not aging. Or not just aging.”

Happy Birthday Gloria Steinem! Thank you for helping me accept me for me and develop a vocabulary and belief system I still have today. I can't wait to see what you do at 100.


This Is What 80 Looks Like
Gloria Steinem's website
Ms. Magazine

An Instagram vacation is totally a thing

Howdy Island readers! Spring has basically sprung (yesterday's snow aside) so it's time to hop in the car and take my annual March road trip. Last year, I spent some time in and around Charlottesville. It's nice to get outside of the DMV every now and then.

This year, I've decided to do something a little different. I recently got back onto Instagram and decided that I would use Instagram to document my March adventure. I know lots of people (maybe even some of you) like to document your food on Instagram; I want you to be happy so you do what you want to do. Just make smart life choices and maybe don't be that guy that's at a table of people and all of you whip out your phones at the same time to document brunch. It's weird.

To me, Instagram is the perfect medium to document a road trip. Filters give photos that dreamy quality I identify with old post cards and photographs and ultimately, memories of road trips from my childhood. It also lends itself to the weird and off beat. That is exactly where my road trip will take me. I'll be visiting roadside attractions and unusual attractions in Baltimore, Charlottesville (and some surrounding towns), and Richmond. I'll also throw in an exhibition game at Nationals Park just for fun.There may or may not be a stop at a large roller skate and it's possible some dinosaurs will be involved.

I'll be documenting the entire trip on Instagram. If you want to join my adventure (at least in photos) you can follow me @eagarland. All photos will be tagged with the hashtag #misfittoysroadtrip2014 for easy searching.

See you on the road!

Coming Saturday: The final We Can Be Heroes post.

We Can Be Heroes: Women Who Rock

I'm was watching the highly underrated movie version of Josie and the Pussycats when I started writing this post. I love this movie and you should too. It's funny, campy, and features a boy band comprised of Breckin Meyer, Seth Green, and Donald Faison, and, more importantly, a pre-Sharknado Tara Reid. Good stuff. It's sort of fitting given this week's theme: women who rock. When I was six, I wanted to be Josie (the cartoon was in rotation when I was little despite coming out before I was born). I've always had rock star dreams despite the fact that I don't sing or play an instrument. A girl can dream.

When I set out to write about women that I admire, I knew that I wouldn't be able to select one female musician or band. There are just too many; it would be like asking a parent to pick their favorite child (although I suspect you all can) or if I asked my friend Anita to pick her favorite Muppet. Some things should just be left unsaid. Instead of picking one, I've decided to do a top five. I just love a list.

I dedicate this post to my album club - I hope that when we get the band back together we'll make some time to discuss these women who rock alongside your continued efforts to convince me of the merits of Billy Joel, 311, and sad electronica.

1. Patti Smith: Listening to Patti Smith is like listening to a poem. She packs so much meaning and passion into every syllable that it can be a bit overwhelming sometimes. If you haven't read her book Just Kids you should go and do so right now. I had the opportunity to see her live about a year ago and it was one of the best concerts I've been too. If Patti Smith ever tried to take over the world, I'd be right there behind her. She cares and she has charisma but not in an annoying way. She also tells a great story and has a delightfully wicked sense of humor. For me, Patti is that true punk rock soul - a tad angry, a touch romantic, a dash sarcastic, and a mite unconventional.

Favorites songs: Because the Night, People Have the Power, April Fool, Mosaic, Gloria, Easter, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Redondo Beach, The Jackson Song

2. Tori Amos: Like most women my age (or so I assume), I listened to a lot of Tori Amos in high school. My high school theatre was a big part of this (it's what the cool kids were doing) but besides that, I really liked the combination of her classical training with modern touches. Tori was angry (for very good reasons) and the imagery and phrasing in her songs packs a huge punch.  Little Earthquakes was the first CD that I ever bought. Whenever I listen to it, I immediately flash back to the first time I listened to the songs. I hadn't really heard women sing songs like that. I saw her live on the Dew Drop Inn tour when I was in high school - it was definitely a show.

It's through Tori that I learned about RAINN, an amazing organization that provides services and support for victims of sexual violence. RAINN was the first charity I ever gave money to and it was because of a rock musician that I was even aware it existed.

Favorite songs: Little Earthquakes, Caught a Lite Sneeze, The Waitress, God, Marianne, Cornflake Girl, Take to the Sky, Not the Red Baron, China, Sugar, Strange Little Girl, The New Age, Smells Like Teen Spirit (the last three are covers)

3. Dolly and Loretta: Yes, Dolly Parton and Loretta Lynn are two people and I said this was a top five. But it's my blog and I make the rules so there. My grandfather loved country music. I have no idea where this Polish Detroiter got into country but I have fond memories of watching TNN with him (although I'm sure I complained a bit when I was 12) and it's because of him that I adore the songs Dolly, Loretta, Patsy Cline, Merle Haggard, and dozens of other "classic" country artists (for real, Ernest Tubb's version of "El Paso" is so good).

I love the stories of Dolly Parton and Loretta Lynn - they have the kinds of upbringings that are ripe for country songs. I love listening to them sing about love and loss. They're also a little cheeky which is always fun. What's great about both women is their ability to reinvent themselves: Dolly has had an incredibly successful film career (please watch Rhinestone) and a huge hit with "Travelin' Thru" from the film Transamerica. Let's not forget that Dollywood exists (I will get there one day). Loretta came back in a big way with Van Lear Rose released in 2004. Jack White produced and performed on the album. It is stunningly amazing; I can listen to it over and over again and hear something new every time.

Favorites (Dolly): Jolene, I Will Always Love You, 9 to 5, the entire Rhinestone soundtrack, Islands in the Stream (because reasons), Applejack, Love Is Like a Butterfly

Favorites (Loretta): Rated X, Portland, Oregon, Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man, One's On the Way, Little Red Shoes, You Ain't Woman Enough, Coal Miner's Daughter, Blue Kentucky Girl, Don't Come Home A-Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind)

4. The Bangles: Let's clear up something: Susanna Hoffs was not the lead singer of The Bangles. Vocal duties were divided evenly among members of the band (including sisters Vicki and Debbi Peterson, and Annette Zilinskas - original lineup). Hoffs was often singled out as the lead vocalist and she did sing some of their more popular songs. Of course, this is one of the reasons the band broke up but let's focus on the positive. The group was heavily inspired by 60s pop and folk and New Wave - their music is definitely a great combination of those genres. I wanted to be a Bangle (but not Susanna) in the worst way when I was about 13 years old. They seemed so cool and awesome. I wanted to hang out with them and move to California.

There's an episode of Gilmore Girls where Lorelei and Sookie get tickets to see The Bangles. They plan on taking Rory and Lane but things change and Lorelei ends up giving the epic seats to Rory and the snobby girls from Chilton, hoping to help Rory make friends at her new school. Lorelei and Sookie sit in the nosebleed section. I like to think that if I have a daughter I will do the same thing for her at some concert. It probably won't be The Bangles but I'm sure some band I love will still be around if I ever have a teenager.

Favorites: In Your Room, In a Different Light (my absolute favorite), Hazy Shade of Winter (a cover), If She Knew What She Wants, Hero Takes a Fall, Eternal Flame (because we all love this song)

5. Liz Phair/Neko Case: Another combo but they represent significant periods in my life and thus must both be included. I started listening to Liz Phair in college (I know, shocking a girl listening to Liz Phair in the late 90s) and Neko Case in my late 20s. Musically, they're very different but they represent periods of transition in my life. Do I identify with everything from their songs? No, but I do admire their DIY aesthetic (I can't believe I just typed that) and their power. Listening to Liz and Neko makes me want to roar.

Exile in Guyville is one of my favorite albums of all time. Phair has often been quoted as saying that the album is a song-by-song reply to The Rolling Stones Exile on Main Street. There are a lot of similarities and I always felt like it was her playing where the boys played. Her songs are raw, sort of deadpan, and sexually charged in a way that is very reminiscent of "cock rock" bands like the Stones and Led Zeppelin. I also wasn't as bothered by her more recent pop-rock songs; artists change and grow too. "Extraordinary" is a fantastic song.

I stumbled upon Neko Case when her album The Fox Confessor Brings the Flood was released in 2006. When I would drive around New Orleans, I would listen to that album, the first Raconteurs album, and Van Lear Rose over and over again. There's something soothing about all three albums especially as a collective entity. Then Middle Cyclone was released and the cover art was Neko like this:

How bad ass is that? It's also an exceptional album. Her lyrics are poetic and powerful and she has a country feel about her without being a country singer. Maybe it's because she's Canadian. If you're not following her on Twitter you should be; she's hilarious and mouthy and awesome. It's easy to just be like "here I am, this is who I am - deal with it" when you have Liz and Neko in your corner.

Favorites (Liz): Ant in Alaska, Divorce Song, Dance of Seven Veils, 6'1, Supernova, Extraordinary, Why Can't I?, Polyester Bride, Fuck and Run, White Chocolate Space Egg, Nashville

Favorites (Neko): The Virginian, This Tornado Loves You, Pretty Girls, Margaret v. Pauline, That Teenage Feeling, Hold On, Hold On, Mood to Burn Bridges, Bowling Green, The Next Time You Say Forever, I'm An Animal, Man, Ragtime, I'm From Nowhere, Madonna of the Wasps

So there you have the top five (or seven but who's counting?). There are so many I've left off: Dusty Springfield, Hole, The Supremes, Sleater-Kinney, The Breeders, Adele, The Runaways, Joan Jett, Katy Perry, Marianne Faithful, L7, Lisa Loeb, Lucinda Williams, Patsy Cline, Kelly Clarkson, Carly Simon, Carole King, Martha Reeves, Nico, Irma Thomas. I could do this for days and never get bored.

Spend the rest of Women's History Month (and maybe all of your time after March) listening to these awesome women who rock. If you need me to, I'll make you a mix. Seriously, I'll make you a mix (or at least suggest one to you in the comments).

Coming Soon: My final "We Can Be Heroes" post, an Instagram vacation, and it's finally (I hope) spring!

Josie and the Pussycats

We Can Be Heroes: Shoulder pads are not for the weak

There is a scene early in the movie Because I Said So where Diane Keaton creates a personal ad for her perpetually single daughter, Milly, played by Mandy Moore (why Mandy Moore would have a problem landing a man is beyond me but whatever, I have suspended my disbelief for films more outlandish than this). Anyway, the ad ends up being something like 1000 words (which is ridiculously expensive) and attracts exactly the type of men (and a few women if I remember correctly) that you would expect. Keaton's Daphne does this without her daughter's permission and then proceeds to interview potential suitors. Several stars of WB/CW and USA shows make appearances, hilarity ensues, multiple cakes are destroyed for no good reason, and everyone finds love. Also, Lauren Graham gets to be married to the sheriff from Eureka. Even if nothing else interesting happened in this movie, I would consider that last part a win.

I saw this movie in the theatre with my mother. It's not a great movie nor is is the worst movie that came out that year (Good Luck Chuck was also released that year - it is legitimately horrible). The cast is pleasant, the kitchens are to die for, and the sheriff from Eureka and the musician are nice to look at. I also really loved the polka dot dresses Diane and Mandy wear. There are two key takeaways from this movie: 1. Diane Keaton is amazing no matter what and 2. At least my mother understands boundaries enough and has never put a personal ad out into the world for me. At least I don't think she has. It's very possible that my mother has done this, interviewed all the eligible men in the greater DC area, and decided that none of them were worthy of her daughter. Doubtful but possible.

There are several constants in my favorite Diane Keaton films: her ability to wear hats and furs, never being lost in a sea of actors (she's tends to star opposite of actors who take up a lot of space), graceful awkwardness, and her magnificent ability to convey the entire emotion of a scene with a look or a gesture. There are so many moments that just slay me and she doesn't say anything. She's also incredibly funny - so many of her roles are in great dramas but she's such a phenomenal comedienne. One of my favorite quotes from her memoir Then Again is about humor, "Humor helps us get through life with a modicum of grace. It offers one of the few benign ways of coping with the absurdity of it all."

My favorite films include The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, Reds, Annie Hall, Baby Boom, and The First Wives Club (it's also not a great movie but seriously, Goldie, Bette, and Diane - amazing). Even in her most vulnerable moments on screen, you can see the strength of the character. And so fashionable! I covet her wardrobe in almost all of her films but could never wear half of it (it wouldn't look like me). From her vintage menswear looks to the elegance of a mafia wife to those polka dot dresses with belts, she just makes it look easy. Let's talk shoulder pads for a minute: I'm not entirely sure if my memory is correct but I seem to recall in Baby Boom that even her bathrobe had shoulder pads.That takes courage. Another fun acting fact: she was in the original cast of the musical Hair but refused to do the nude scene at the end of the first act. You do you, Diane Keaton. You should also listen to original cast recording on this song; these are my earliest memories of Diane Keaton - I was obsessed with this musical in high school.

Acting chops aside, Diane is also a writer, producer, director, photographer, and apparently has been successful in real estate (thanks for that little nugget Wikipedia). That's an incredible hyphenate. She's also a mother (she adopted two children) and never married.

That's a lot to admire and this could be where I stop but there's one more thing that I admire about Diane Keaton - she wants to age. A reoccurring topic in her memoir (which focus on her mother's writing as well) was her relationship with beauty and beauty standards. She has always spoken out against plastic surgery and altering one's appearance to fit a beauty standard that isn't natural. I love this quote from More magazine, "I'm stuck in this idea that I need to be authentic... My face needs to look the way I feel." It's not about altering your looks but being healthy and taking care of yourself. At the end of it, it's about being you and being happy with being you. The flaws (as Diane Arbus tells us), are what we notice. I would argue that the flaws are what make a person them so I applaud Diane for always being herself, flaws and all.

"Memories are simply moments that refuse to be ordinary." Diane Keaton, Then Again

Photo credits:
Annie Hall1
Godfather 
Because I Said So
Video links from YouTube