What we do is secret

I have never been a book club fan. I've been in a few over the years and the only one I actually enjoy is the one at work. I guess it comes down to the fact that I like to read alone and enjoy thinking about books but don't always enjoy talking about books with other people. Frankly, if I want to drink and talk about stuff I'll just go to happy hour with friends. Let's not pretend that we're going to read a book and have some deep conversation about it over a possibly terrible wine and some brie. Cheese is probably the only incentive I've ever had to go to book club meetings.

Music, on the other hand, is something I love to talk about. The challenge is that I have less luck finding people who want to talk about music with me. They either "don't listen to music" (I don't even know what that's about) or we listen to such diametrically opposed music that it's not fun or more specifically, they're not fun to talk to since the conversation usually ends in some weird argument about me not liking Billy Joel. Variety may be the spice of life but sometimes I just want to talk to another fan of The Smiths and wallow a bit. I love what I love and hate what I hate and I don't want to apologize for it. I've written about this before - you hope that the person will get what you're saying and share in the moment but most of the time you have no idea what they think. When you make someone a mix tape or give them your favorite album to listen to, they may never give you anything in return. No feedback, no music to play forward, nothing. It has the potential to be a monumental let down.

So even with all the potential anxiety and rage induced/beer fueled arguments, I absolutely jumped at the idea of being in an album club. People who want to talk about music! And share music! And will judge me in the context of the album and after a few beers - let's do this! As I am also trying to be more social, this seemed to fit perfectly into things. Album club consists of me and two of friends I met through work, Jason and Upendra. I give Jason credit for the idea - we were already sort of doing this; the three of us would occasionally go out for a beer after work and spend the majority of the evening talking about music. Jason suggested we form a club and add a little structure to our conversations. Of course, it's also a "secret" and exclusive club. We're not currently accepting new members - something that we discuss every time we meet but still have not come to any form of consensus. So don't ask to join. I think if we do ever decide to allow new members, the application process is going to be ridiculous. You've been warned.

Here's what happens at album club: once a month we meet at a bar or one of our homes (although that has only happened once); we talk about work for 15 minutes or so (although it does come up throughout the evening); we discuss our albums. Each of us presents an album along the theme for the month. Usually we discuss how we got into the band or found the album, songs we like or dislike, and everyone gets to put in their opinion. So far, we've listened to nine albums together (each of us selecting three). Eventually we move away from our agreed upon albums and talk about other things, mostly music related. Several pitchers of beer later, we settle on the next month's theme and call it a night.

This week we each presented a summer mix tape (or playlist for the children out there who don't know what a tape is). I discussed my mix last week - I probably spent way too much time thinking about the balance of songs. I ultimately selected summer road trip songs that I love and have to admit that I rather like this mix. Will they like it? Probably not all of it but that's sort of the point. We pick up some new songs or maybe refine our dislike of others. We learn a little more about the person who put the mix together. For the first time in our club history, we didn't listen to the music in advance. I have listened to both and can honestly say that had neither CD been labeled I still would have known who made which one.

What I really love about our little club is the variety of music we like and talk about. We have some similar tastes but I don't think that any of us could easily be classified as a "insert music genre" fan. I asked them both whether they picked songs for the mixes based on their audience or just their own preference. That's a big question when it comes to mixes (one that will probably never be answered). Regardless of the answer, I have a feeling we all picked songs that we thought the others would like on some level. Of the forty songs between their two mixes, I only have eight of the songs in my own collection. That's a pretty great number of new songs to listen to. Some of the remaining songs I know and like; others I had never heard before. I've already picked five new songs that will make it into my normal rotation.

The leftover selections

Next time we meet we'll do two things: discuss our mix tapes (since this was the first time we didn't listen to the music before we met) and we'll share our next selections. Based on Upendra's suggestion, we each selected three prolific artists and placed the names in a hat. We each picked one and now we have to select an album from that artist. I got the Rolling Stones (Jason's pick); Upendra got Madonna (my pick); and Jason got Billy Joel (Upendra's pick). Thankfully I didn't get Billy Joel but I'll be a sport and listen to whatever Jason picks.

Here's what I've learned so far from album club:

• All rock songs are love songs.
• For a person who says he doesn't listen to upbeat music, Upendra picked some rather upbeat song for this mix. Granted one is an Elton John song about killing oneself but there's a tap dance quality to that song that is undeniably catchy.
• I find the lyrics to "Blurred Lines" a tad bit "rapey" and the video offensive; they (somewhat sarcastically) mentioned that Thicke was a defender of feminism.
• Sometimes you find your way back to a song or album even if you thought it was lost (given a situation or person that may have "ruined" it for you).
• It's possible that Jason was supposed to have been born in Detroit and just doesn't know it.
• When you say something is "secret" and "exclusive" everyone wants to join.
• Hanging out with guys is more fun than I remember it being. Maybe it's the subject matter. Maybe it's the beer.
• I am not entirely sure what would have happened if I had gotten 311 as my selection for the next album. Considering I used to date a guy that was in a 311 cover band, I'm going to guess it would have been excruciating. I know my limits when it comes to music.
• I know that I'm totally okay sharing my music with these two friends; they're as sentimental about songs and musicians as I am (if not more so on occasion), have less of a filter than I do (which is both a blessing and a curse), and are music snobs in their own way (just not insufferable).

Any opinions on which Rolling Stones album I should pick?

I like heavy metal and sea shanties*

Yes, those are three of the four solo KISS albums. I'm missing Ace Frehley's contribution which also happens to be the only one of the four that won't make your ears bleed. Best song on his album - "New York Groove". Interestingly, it sounds exactly like the many of the disco classics that KISS fans railed against in the seventies. That's probably partially why I like this song as much as I do.

Anyway, people are always a little surprised to find out that I like bands like KISS, Metallica, Black Sabbath, and Guns N' Roses. I know all the words to more Motley Crue songs than most normal people probably will admit to and I can honestly say I prefer Whitesnake over White Lion. I like the sound of Tom Keifer's voice and "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)" is my favorite Cinderella song. I thought the casting of Sebastian Bach on Gilmore Girls was inspired (and I'm assuming he wore his own leather pants since he paid so much for them when Skid Row hit it big). My metal love leans more towards glam metal bands than speed metal bands (with the notable exception of Metallica). I occasionally make Stryper jokes (that no one finds funny). I've seen Def Leppard in concert twice, Metallica once, and recently saw Black Sabbath for the first time. Ozzy is a strange, little man shuffling around on stage but man, he can wail. And Tony Iommi is a boss.

But I'm not a true metal fan; I'd consider myself a casual fan. I do alright when around other metal fans but eventually they'll figure out I that my favorite Crue song is "Without You" and I'll be laughed out of the room. I will never be like the little girl at the Sabbath show who owned it and has probably listened to Sabbath since she was in the womb. I'm sure she knew more of the songs than I did. I recently re-read Chuck Klosterman's heavy metal opus Fargo Rock City. This was the first Klosterman book I read when I started reading his stuff (it's my second favorite; Killing Yourself to Live is my favorite). In the book, Klosterman recounts how he "discovered" Motely Crue and became a metalhead in rural North Dakota. Like me, Chuck found metal because of his older brother. I can't help but enjoy these songs and appreciate bands that can out-glam David Bowie. I often wonder how much hairspray Poison used in the 80s.

I always think about this when I start to make a mix tape. How much metal (glam or othewise) is too much metal? If I listened to my brother the answer would probably be there is no such thing as enough metal and he'd also tell me I picked the wrong Van Halen song (this was an actual conversation we had over email recently). If I asked either of the members of the album club I belong to, they'd probably say none because neither seems to want to listen to any metal. I mentioned Metallica at one of our meetings and they both visibly shuddered.

There are metal songs and bands for mass consumption and then there are metal songs and bands that are only for the true fans. Def Leppard, although one of the more successful bands of the genre, is often dismissed by true metal fans because they're songs are "too commercial" (which really just means sorority girls know the words and dance to the songs at bars). Bon Jovi, Cinderella, Skid Row, and Whitesnake probably all fit into the same world as Def Leppard. Most of my friends would probably admit to knowing and/or liking a song by one of these bands and might even sing one at karaoke. Even Guns N' Roses could go on this list because most people like "Paradise City" and/or "Patience" (my 2nd and 3rd favorite GNR songs). I am not a true metal fan because I like to many of the commercially successful bands and their radio friendly songs. The crowd at the Sabbath show probably wouldn't have appreciated me bringing up the fact that Twisted Sister was in the first Pee-Wee Herman movie ("Burn in Hell" was playing and it was in the movie towards the end when Pee-Wee is on the film set stealing his bike back). Those are the ways that I enjoy metal bands and for that I will never truly be a member of the KISS army or whatever. My 5th favorite KISS song is "God Gave Rock&Roll To You" from the second Bill and Ted movie so clearly I'm just a girl who likes power guitars and long drum solos.

And this brings me back to the mix tape I'm currently working on for album club. The theme is summer music and I've selected a sub-theme of road trip. I've come up with exactly what I'd want to listen to if I was driving somewhere fun this summer so I guess that the mix works. But I still wonder if it's balanced enough: What is the proper balance of metal to punk to country to pop to The Smiths? So far, the mix includes three metal bands (Metallica, Van Halen, and Guns N' Roses), two punk bands (Rancid and The Stooges), one Smiths song, 70s era Heart, Liz Phair circa 2003, and Dolly Parton. There's also my favorite Bowie song to end the mix and nuggets by Neil Diamond, The Mighty Lemon Drops, and The Replacements. It's a weird road trip but those are the kinds I like best.

*This is a quote from one of my favorite characters, L.P., on the show Treme. I spent all of season three believing that L.P. was going to be killed and was so happy when he wasn't. This was what he told a girl in line at the airport as he left New Orleans.