Voting is my superpower

I've been struggling with how to approach my annual "go vote" post. Normally, I try to make voting fun and talk about all the good things you experience when you practice being a good citizen. Take a friend to the polls! You get a sticker for adulting! Support your local PTA and buy a donut (my polling place is in an elementary school, so there's always a bake sale). I've shared my own personal account of voting for Hillary Clinton in 2016; it was such a great feeling until I woke up the next day and realized everyone is the worst.

Neither of these approaches feel appropriate right now. In the last two weeks, fifteen people have been murdered because of hate, hate which our "president" stokes every time he opens his mouth. Bombs were sent to public officials and private citizens who disagree with the 45 or who have spoken out against his administration. Multiple activists in Ferguson, MO have died in the last several months under suspicious circumstances, including a possible lynching. People are more concerned that young men (young, white men, let's be specific) are at risk of being accused of sexual assault or rape than the fact that 1 in 3 women will be assaulted in her lifetime. Who have we become that these are the realities of 2018?

I'm not naive. I, like so many other people, know none of this just happened because Trump got elected. Racism, misogyny, homophobia, tranphobia, religious hatred aren't new, but they seem to be more pervasive today than they have been in the last several decades. We're supposed to be a country where differences, politically, socially, religiously, etc., etc., make us stronger, more interesting, more accepting, more revolutionary. The problem is that we've let the small-minded opinions and beliefs of a faction within this country take over. We've let the hatred of a very small man, who will say anything to remain in power, cloud who we are as a nation.

So, I'm torn on what to say this week as we near a very important midterm election. I know I'm not going to change anyone's mind if they are set to vote for a candidate who has been endorsed by the 45 or his party. Chances are you're voting for that person because he or she believes in an issue in the same way you do. They're "pro-life," until the baby is born and then they cut funding for vital services that might help that child like public schools, healthcare services, and free school lunches. Or maybe they believe in gun rights even when those rights put guns right into the hands of domestic abusers and domestic terrorists, who use those guns to kill people who they hate. You vote for them even when they use the language of Nazis and hatemongers. You don't use that language, but you support someone who does. You say you're not racist or sexist or Islamaphoic or homophobic. I hate to be the one to tell you, but when you vote for candidates who are, even if you say you aren't those things, you are. When you support a racist candidate, you're supporting racism. When you support a homophobic or transphobic candidate, even if you support LGBTQ rights, you are supporting hate. When you support a pro-life candidate, you are saying that women don't deserve agency over their own bodies. When you support the confirmation of a man who has been accused of sexual assault, you are saying his life is more important that the accuser's. You are supporting the very things that are causing division and what is fundamentally wrong with this country.

But I'm not going to change your mind. A few weeks ago, I went to see playwright Eve Ensler and author Anne Lamott discuss their new books and the state of things in this world. Ensler is one of my favorite playwrights and has been a tireless activist in the campaign to end violence against women and girls. During the talk, moderator Jacki Lyden, asked Ensler a question about the open letter she wrote to white women supporting the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh. If you haven't read it, take a few minutes to check it out on the Time website. In the letter, Ensler doesn't spend time discussing all the reasons women shouldn't support Kavanaugh. She knows, like me, that it's hard to change someone's opinion when they're set on a belief. Instead, she spends the time sharing her own feelings and experiences with abuse. She was abused by her father, and her mother never helped her. Her mother "sacrificed" her own daughter so that she could be safe within her marriage. This is what so many of you, particularly white conservative voters, are willing to do to continue supporting the Republican party. You're sacrificing your children, your grandchildren, the Earth, and democracy as it is in this country for your version of safety.

I'm not going to tell you not to vote - you should vote. It's your right and responsibility as a participant in this crazy thing we call American democracy. But what I will tell you to do is to take some time to think long and hard before you cast that ballot. Ask yourself if you can live out the rest of your life knowing you voted to send our country 50+ years back. Ask yourself if you can live with yourself when your children and grandchildren are left to clean up the dumpster fire you helped to create. Ask yourself what democracy actually looks like, because I can tell you, it's not the world the 45 and his cronies are interested in creating.

When I vote on Tuesday, I'll be thinking about all of these things. I'll also be thinking about:

• Maurice Stallard
• Vickie Lee Jones
• Daniel Stein
• Joyce Feinberg
• Richard Gottfried
• Rose Mallinger
• Jerry Rabinowitz
• Cecil Rosenthal
• David Rosenthal
• Bernice Simon
• Sylvan Simon
• Melvin Wax
• Irving Younger
• Nancy Van Vessem
• Maura Binkley
• Danye Jones

They, like too many before them, didn't have to die. They were what democracy looks like - people living their lives, practicing their faith, and fighting on behalf of others. I want to live in a world where we can truly do these things, and not in one where we live in fear no matter where we go. I vote because they can't. I vote for candidates who don't support the rhetoric of hate. 

 

Lazy Movie Weekend: Late Night Double Feature Picture Show

Fall has finally come to the wilds of Northern Virginia, so it's time to put on my unintentional Freddy Krueger sweater, eat way too many mellowcreme pumpkins, and settle in for evenings with my favorite Halloween movies. While I do love scary movies, my favorite Halloween movies tend to fall into one of three categories: scary comedies, creature features, and creepy movies. Creepy movies usually fall into the ghost story/psychological horror category rather than including things like psycho killers or possessed dolls. Give me a House on Haunted Hill or The Others over a Saw any day of the week. Granted, I enjoy all of the classic slasher movies, but stopped watching the countless remakes and the torture porn genre that came to popularity in the early 2000s. Not my thing, but by all means, go watch people be sewn together as a human centipede or cut their legs off to get out of Jigsaw's torture chamber. You do you when it comes to scary movies.

Scary comedies are probably my favorite of the three, since I don't feel the need to sleep with the lights on or watch cartoons after watching a scary comedy. Movies like Shaun of the Dead, Haunted Honeymoon, most of what's shown on Freeform during 31 Days of Halloween (yes, it's 31 days now because they understand that Halloween is superior to Christmas), and the entire Ghostbusters franchise are all part of this category. Most of these movies aren't that scary, but every now and then, there's a little spooky element to keep the audience on their toes. I also happen to love old school creature features like the ones Universal released in the 1930s and 1940s; The Wolf Man, Frankenstein, The Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula, and the original, non-Tom Cruise version of The Mummy are some of the best horror movies ever.

When I was younger, I was fearless about horror movies in a way that I'm not today. This is how I came to watch The Exorcist in my early teens, alone in the dark paneled basement of our townhouse in Burke. I'd watch anything once, and then be terrified later. In the mid-late 1990s, stations like USA, TBS, and WGN played midnight movies and local cable access stations still did a Saturday afternoon movie. It was usually a creature movie, from the 1950s or 1960s, so I saw my fill of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and all of The Toxic Avenger movies. It's also through these shows that I was introduced to movie hosts like Morgus (in New Orleans only), Joe Bob Briggs, and the greatest of all time, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. They'd show movies, do commentary, and make fun of the terrible special effects, overacting, and thin plot lines of every movie. They also knew their horror, so I'd get recommendations for other things to watch, some of which I like (old school Vincent Price movies) and some of which I didn't (gore fests by some of the great Italian horror directors).

It also helps that my brother is horror fan too. It's from him that I get my love of Stephen King books and (most) movies. He tormented me with Freddy Krueger when we were younger, but that's part of the job of being a big brother. He'll go see horror movies with me if my friends don't want to, and loves a good zombie movie. As much as I have him to thank for my love all creepy, I know that I have wildly different tastes from him on a lot of these movies. He's not as big into classic horror as I am, and doesn't understand my love of cheesy sci-fi movies of the 1950s. I'll forgive him for that since he's the only person I can text during episodes of American Horror Story with ridiculous questions like "Why does the antichrist have to be a creepy Vampire Lestat/Willy Wonka/Glee club member reject? Why can't he just wear a hoodie and look like a normal person?" and he'll answer me honestly.

Anyway, for my first official Halloween post of October, I thought I'd return to my love of scary-ish comedies and revisit two movies from my childhood that I will love forever and will fight anyone who thinks they're terrible. I haven't really watched either of these movies as an adult and definitely never had anything to drink while watching either, so I thought instead of doing a complete breakdown of each movie, I'd watch them with a little wine and the eyes of an adult (since apparently I am one). So, grab your wine of choice, some popcorn, and maybe some mellowcreme pumpkins and join me for The Monster Squad (1987) and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988).

The Monster Squad was called a lot of things when it was released in 1987, but a great movie was not one of them. Often compared to the more successful Goonies (the mom is the same in both movies, which is funny), The Monster Squad is, at its heart, an homage to the great Universal creature features of the 1930s. The big five villains, Dracula, Wolf Man, the Mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Frankenstein's Monster, show up in a modern suburban town to find an amulet and bring about the end of the world. They don't anticipate the Monster Squad, a group of preteen monster movie fans who figure out the plan, and try to put a stop to Dracula's nefarious plan. Released a year later, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark is the type of movie Elvira would have watched on her show. She plays a version of herself, a horror hostess who wants to open a show on Vegas (Cassandra Peterson, the actress behind Elvira, was a Vegas showgirl in her early career). A long-lost great aunt dies and leaves Elvira her house, dog, and recipe book in Falwell, MA. She drives her custom Macabre Mobile (her badass Elvira car) to claim her inheritance and discovers she's actually the descendant of a powerful witch and has to use her powers to save the world from evil great uncle who wants to become an all-powerful being and rule the world.

Basically, these are two versions of the same movie. I've never watched them back to back before, so it wasn't until I planned my double feature that I realized the similarities within the plots. Most 80s movies were about a ragtag group of people trying to save the day, so it's not surprising that these two would share a similar plot. Obviously, they achieve their grand finales in very different ways and with very different stories along the way. Neither were particularly well-received at the box office, but both are huge cult favorites. There's a documentary out about The Monster Squad called Wolfman's Got Nards (which was almost the title of this post), focusing on the fandom of the movie (I haven't seen it yet, but it's supposed to be great). Elvira is a huge draw on the horror con circuit and is genuinely one of the nicest celebrities I follow on Twitter. She even had her own spectacular at Knottsberry Farm

What I love about these movies is how ridiculous they are, but how wonderfully connected to old school horror movies they are. There's nothing hipster-y or modern about either movie and this is exactly why I watch them. I feel like a kid again when I watch them, minus the dark paneled basement. That's Halloween to me: a little scary, a little silly, and always fun.

Happy Halloween! Pleasant Nightmares (as Elvira would say)!

Lazy Movie Weekend: Exile in Guyville

Last week, I put my old lady tendencies aside and stayed up (and out of my apartment) past 9 pm on a weeknight. Our one true queen, Liz Phair, was playing at the 9:30 Club and I couldn't miss the show for a little old thing like a good night's sleep. That would be very un-rock and roll of me.

Phair's debut album Exile in Guyville turned 25 this year. Us 90s girls remember that album, and revel in the experience of listening to it on repeat. For those not familiar with the album (shame on you), Phair has described it as a song for song response to The Rolling Stones' album Exile on Main Street (although not everyone gets that). At its heart, Guyville is about the female voice in the very male dominated 90s indie rock scene. Phair wrote songs that put her in the front rather than on the sidelines of the scene, as so many of her male counterparts wanted. She didn't play the entire album, but did include songs like "Mesmerizing," "Fuck & Run," "Stratford-On-Guy," and "Divorce Song."

When I arrived at the 9:30 Club, I was immediately struck by how many white dudes in polo shirts of a certain age (older than me, but not old) were at the show. I imagine that these were the guys in Phair's Guyville, who have grown up and are now investment bankers or accountants. I texted a friend pre-show, and she wondered if maybe they thought "Guyville" was something else. This is entirely possible. It was just one of those odd occurrences at a show where the audience ends up being made of people who are unexpected.

Seeing Liz Phair this past week, while also working my way through all four versions of the move A Star Is Born, created an interesting counterpoint to what's been going on since I rage-blogged last week. There may not be a direct parallel between Exile in Guyville and A Star Is Born, but in my brain, I can see it very distinctly. At the center of all five experiences, is a woman trying to navigate a male space while also being female.

Each version of A Star Is Born (1937, 1954, 1976, and 2018) has a similar plot: a young woman comes is working her way into the movie business (1937, 1954) or the music business (1976, 2018). She works as a waitress, sings commercials, or at drag shows (one of my favorite parts of the new version). An older, established actor/musician "discovers" her at a bar/as a waitress/at a charity fundraiser and falls in love with her, while also helping her career. She becomes a star, and his career takes a downward turn. This isn't because of her rise to fame, but because he's an alcoholic/drug addict and entirely unreliable, so no one wants to hire him. She falls in love with him anyway, and they marry secretly. Along the way, he completely embarrasses her when she wins an award (Oscar or Grammy, depending on the movie), and eventually goes to rehab. Of course, the story doesn't ever end happily, despite everyone's best efforts.

While each version has this shared plot DNA, they're distinct given the time period in which they were filmed and the lead actors. The 1937 version is an early talking picture. Its stars, Janet Gaynor and Fredric March, were silent film actors who successfully transitioned to talkies (not all actors did). Both is and the 1954 version have that "Golden Age of Hollywood" vibe, but also give viewers a look at how awful the studio system is/was and how actors were basically properties of the studios they worked for in every aspect of their lives. The 1954 version was all about Judy Garland; it's so much about her character that James Mason feels a bit like an afterthought as the male lead (although he's great when on screen). 1976 brought us Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson in the leads, and moves the movie to the music industry. Like Garland, this movie was about revamping Streisand's image (PS - this didn't really work out that way). The newest version stars Lady Gaga, in her first lead role, and Bradley Cooper directing his first feature. Both wrote songs for the film and sing live in the film. This is one of my favorite parts of the new version.

Central to each version is the oldest plot line of movies: a woman trying to save a "broken" man. I went to see this movie with my friend, Emily, and she made the comment that watching this movie as an adult is very different than watching it as a teenager (whichever version you watched). Back then, we were caught up in the epic love story, the fairy tale of being discovered and falling in love with the discoverer. We missed the message. Norman/Norman/John/Jackson all warn Esther/Ally about them as bad choices, but the ladies dive in anyway. It's only when the guy promises to change his ways that the girl says yes to marrying him. Love is that powerful an emotion that they go against their better judgement. Even the producer character in each version knows this is probably going to end up terribly, but they don't stop it. True love can't be stopped, and these ladies are making a choice. I can't say it's necessarily a bad choice, but it's a choice. At the end, of course, Norman/Norman/John/Jackson make a choice too. We can debate their choice forever, but it's also a choice.

 In traditional Lazy Movie Weekend fashion, here are some things I love/hate about all four versions:

• Dorothy Park and Joan Didion have screen writing credits for the 1937 and 1976 versions respectively.
• The hats in the '37 version are a thing of beauty - come for the movie, stay for the hats.
• "Do you mind if I take one more look?" Norman Maine says this in the first version to Esther; there's a variation of the line in the three subsequent films. It's adorable and very sad.
• 1937 Esther and Norman have swans on their property. Swans! Rich people, man, rich people.
• In each version there's a moment when Esther's name (as Vicki Lester in the first two versions), covers up Norman/Norman/John/Jackson that is a symbol of his downfall. 
• "Tragedy is the test of courage." Esther's granny at the end of 1937.
• Judy Garland wears tights as pants in the 1954 version. Seriously, tights as pants.
• Even if you don't want to watch the 1954 version, watch the part where Judy Garland sings "The Man That Got Away." It guts me every time I watch this version. 
• The studio cut a significant amount of the movie from the final version and burned the footage for some reason. The film was digitally restored with film stills and audio for those parts. I would recommend watching an un-restored version the first time you watch this one. It's less choppy.
• "I'm sober as a judge." Too soon, Norman Maine, too soon. 
• The Oscars scene in this version is so painful to watch. It's hard to imagine why Esther stays after this. 
• I'm not entirely sure Kris Kristofferson knew that his shirts had buttons all the way up. There isn't a scene in the 1976 version that doesn't include most of his chest. 
• Barbra Streisand used her own clothes in the movie, which I love more than anything.
• Originally, Elvis was in consideration for the John Norman role, as well Neil Diamond. Col. Tom Parker wouldn't let Elvis be in the film because no one asked Parker first. Elvis died the year after the film was released.
• SPOILER: the 1976 version is the only one where the character's death is ambiguous. The producer for the film was uncomfortable with suicide as a plot line. 
• Blink and you'll miss Freddy Krueger, Robert Englund, as an uncredited patron in a bar.
• "Evergreen" won Streisand an Oscar and is probably the only part of the 1976 version that critics and fans can actually agree on as a good thing. 
• Shangela and Willam, drag performers who both appeared on seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race, are in the new version. I love them and I love that they're here.
• Bradley Cooper does have a weird voice thing going on in this movie, but I think it's because he's trying to sound like Sam Elliott and/or to show how hard drinking and drug use can ruin your voice.
• Concert footage was filmed at festivals like Coachella and Glastonbury, some of which when Lady Gaga was performing during the festival.
• The film opens with Lady Gaga singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" which is a lovely tribute to Judy Garland.
• Lady Gaga is amazing and I would legitimately 
• Jackson's "I'd like to take one more look at you" is not only the latest version of the line, but also a reference to "With One More Look At You" from the 1976 version. 
• That's Bradly Cooper's actual dog, Charlie. So adorable.
• The 2018 version is the only version where Norman/Norman/John/Jackson is disappointed in Esther/Ally because she turns her back on being a singer to be a pop star. He's not jealous of her success, but feels like she sold out and isn't being true to herself as a performer. This makes me appreciate Jackson in a way I don't appreciate the other three men. He wanted her to be the best Ally, not a version a producer told her to be.

I love the new version, but the 1954 version will always be my favorite. I'm sure this is because it was the first version I saw and because I love Judy Garland. But the new version is a very close second. Go see it as soon as you can, and then watch some of the older versions. My ranking: 1954, 2018, 1937, and 1976.

As I watched Ally and Jackson's story unfold, I couldn't help but think of two Liz Phair songs: "Mesmerizing" and "Divorce Song," arguably one of the saddest songs on Exile in Guyville. The song is about a couple on a road trip and how one moment, the woman wanting her own room because they've been in a car together all day, spins out of control and resentments come out and they both say things they may or may not mean. There's no real ending to the song, as there is an ending to Ally and Jackson's story, but it still has that same sadness that I associate with the plot of A Star Is Born. And like Phair in "Mesmerizing", Esther/Ally keep falling back into the same story. Maybe that's why every few decades we get a new A Star Is Born.

I love the song "Shallow" from the new A Star Is Born. If you're not going to see the movie, just watch this video:

Coming soon: Another Lazy Movie Weekend featuring my favorite teen monster movie, I join a Mardi Gras krewe and decorate purses to throw, and we discuss voting and being a good citizen...again.

I could throw an axe

This is the first election season since I turned 17 that I haven't actively worked on a campaign. It hasn't always been a state or national campaign, but I've always done something. In 2016, I canvassed, I phone banked, I wrote letters, I donated, I registered people to vote, I greeted people at the polls. I did everything I could to help elect the first woman to the White House...except commit treason and get in bed with a dictator (literally or figuratively). After the election, I gave myself a few weeks, and then I dusted off my canvassing shoes and went to work to elect Ralph Northam governor of Virginia. I felt better when he won; not great, but better. Ralph's a good dude. He's good governor.

And then the 2018 midterms began to loom. And the calls and texts from the Kaine campaign started. And I didn't answer any of them. Not because I don't believe in Tim Kaine (I do; I'll be there voting for him in November), but because I couldn't face another round of being abused by people I don't know. Do you know how many times I was called a cunt when I phone banked for Clinton? I'm pretty sure none of them were talking about my charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. A little old lady in Southwestern Virginia told me she hoped I burned in hell for supporting "that traitorous bitch." I did what I was trained to do and said "thank you" and hung up. I thanked her for telling me to burn in hell.

Because that's what women do. We say thank you to people who insult us and don't believe us and question our choices when all we're doing is living our lives and trying to exist in this world. We apologize for taking up space and telling our stories.

I know that I'm not alone in being a cone of rage following this week's absolute circus/dumpster fire/ shit show of hearings in the confirmation proceedings for Brett Kavanaugh. I watched it all and have been experiencing a range of emotions since that move from sadness to rage to blinding rage to disappointment to anger to sadness to laughing because it seems like a better idea than crying and back to blinding rage. Christie Blasey Ford spent four hours telling her story to the entire world. It's a story she shouldn't have had to have broadcast on every news station and live tweeted. She should have been granted the decency of an investigation, not a trial masquerading as a hearing. I cannot imagine what she's going through right now. Women are fucking warriors.

I've had a lot of thoughts running around in my brain about these proceedings, and I'm going to share a few with you today. Rage blogging isn't something I do often, but writing this made me feel better. Not not rage-ful, but better. Strong language ahead, so please do your best impression of a Republican member of the Judiciary Committee, and feign horror that someone raised in a nice family could use such language.

• How is it possible that eleven elected officials, all male, couldn't ask Dr. Ford a direct question, let alone look her in the eye? They had to hire a woman to ask their questions for them. If you're a constituent of one of these clowns, you need to take a hard look at yourself and ask if you want someone who can't actually do their job to continue holding office. And if you say, "that's not right," get yourself to the polls when they're up for reelection and vote them the fuck out of office.
• Conversely, how much restraint do you think it took those same eleven men to not jump over the table to bro hug Kavanaugh the second he walked in the room? They practically fell over themselves apologizing to that fucker and acting like his life is ruined. Give me a fucking break.
• Dr. Ford fulfilled her civic duty in a way no one should ever have to. She even thanked the committee and apologized. Her courage can't be understated, but I was so mad for her when she thanked them. I wanted to tell her, "You don't have to thank them. You don't have to be polite." But that is who she is and I respect her for being herself. 
• Not all heroes wear capes: Senators Kamala Harris, Amy Klobuchar, and Mazie Hirono deserve medals. Sen. Klobuchar is 100% correct in her assessment that Kavanaugh would have thrown her out of his court if she had behaved as he did during his testimony. 
• Rachel Mitchell knew that she was in charge of an absolute shit show and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She showed at least some humanity at the end of Dr. Ford's testimony. I think she believes Dr. Ford. I have no proof of this, but there was something about the way she conducted herself that makes me believe she believed Dr. Ford. 
• If Brett Kavanaugh was trying to convince people that he's the right person to fill a position on the highest court in the land, a court that is supposed to be apolitical and nonpartisan, he probably should have scaled back on the vindictive language. All I saw was someone who looked angry and ready to lose his shit when challenged. Oh wait, he did that. 
• And men say women are emotional and shouldn't be positions of power like White House. Please, every pundit on Fox News, tell me that one again while talking about your boy here. 
• To all of the Republican/conservative women saying that boys/men rape/assault/grope women and it's perfectly normal: I'm going to need you to shut the fuck up. It is not normal. I've been alive almost 40 years and I have never in my life said, "Gee, I should rape/assault/grope that guy over there. That's a great idea." Not once. Because it is not normal behavior. Stop telling your sons and daughters this is how life works.
• There's a popular quote going around now that is so true it hurts: Brock Turners grow up to be Brett Kavanaughs and Brett Kavanaughs make the rules for Brock Turners. 
• Brett Kavanaugh is a man who has never been held accountable for anything in his entire life. I grew up with assholes like him in high school in NOVA and went to college with bigger assholes like him in New Orleans. Wealthy, white dudes with no real responsibilities and no one telling them that they don't always get to win. They hide behind "boys will be boys" until someone calls them out on their bullshit, and even then they still get away with so much. Rape culture exists and this is part of it.
• Jeff Flake is not a hero. He doesn't get to say he'll vote to confirm and then call for an investigation because he knows they don't have the votes. He knows what's going on is wrong and it's eating him up inside. Frankly, suffer. Suffer with that guilt forever. You could have done better before this week, but you didn't. You are not a hero. 
• When does the 30 minutes women are allowed to not have to worry about the futures of the men in this world actually take place? Women are told to report assault and rape, while also being told that coming forward will ruin some man's life. When they don't come forward for decades and then do, they're also told they're responsible for ruining some man's life. I mean, for the love of the goddess, when do women just get to take care of their own lives? You know what men can do? Not rape and assault women (and men). Maybe we should focus on raising children who understand that NOT raping and assaulting people is the way one should live their life. Maybe those who do commit those crimes can be held accountable for their actions and not get away with it. And if they're about to be named for lifetime appointment, maybe, just maybe we should investigate allegations against them so we know that we are in fact, placing the right person in that position instead of someone who committed sexual assault.
•  Lindsey Graham is a worthless human being. I try to find the good in people, but he deserves nothing positive from me. He's up for reelection in 2021; I hope the good people of South Carolina get rid of him. PS - If it's acceptable to ask me why I'm still single and also tell me to smile more, than Lindsey Graham can also be asked why he's still single and told to smile more. Don't like Lindsey? Too fucking bad. 
• No one's life is over because they don't get to be on the Supreme Court. Seriously. If, by some miracle, Kavanaugh is not confirmed, his life will go on. He will be fine. He doesn't deserve to be fine, but he will be. 
• I believe Dr. Ford. I believe her. I believe her. I believe her. #BelieveSurvivors

I was driving to work yesterday morning and two cars veered into my lane at two different points along 66, each coming super close to hitting me. I don't know if they intended to get over or what because neither driver bothered to use a blinker. I'm so angry about what's going on that my reaction was to follow the next driver who didn't use a blinker to wherever they were going and take a tire iron to their windshield. That's how angry I am. I want to destroy property and be awful to someone I don't know. The kicker is this: I'd go to jail while Brett Kavanaugh will probably end up on the Supreme Court. I'd be held accountable for my behavior and he'd get a lifetime appointment to make decisions that will impact generations.

Christine Blasey Ford, Ana Maria Archila, and Maria Gallagher: thank you for being you. You deserve so much better than this. We all deserve so much better than this.

DC Days/The Detroit Project: Take Me Out to the Ballgame

I'm probably one of the few people who thinks about musicals when I'm at a baseball game. I blame the Baltimore Orioles; ever since someone used "Corner of the Sky" from the musical Pippin as walk up music, I can't help myself. I love walk up music, but I seriously question most players' choices. Whoever used "Corner of the Sky" was my kind of baseball guy.

Anyway, the song that most comes to mind these days when I go to a baseball game is "You Gotta Have a Gimmick" from Gypsy. I don't think I've been to a baseball in the last decade that didn't have some sort of give away or gimmick as part of the day. Most of the give aways are things like bobble heads, Star Wars themed items (every team seems to have a Star Wars day), and team branded Hawaiian shirts. You know, stuff you definitely need around your house. I have an assortment of Washington Nationals items including a team Russian nesting doll, a gnome (but not the Jayson Werth one), and an unfortunate poster of the team as the Rat Pack which I promptly threw away. I get the give aways; baseball tickets are expensive and attendance at games has been stagnant for years. Give aways and gimmicks are ways to get people in the gate. I get it.

I've attended quite a number of theme nights and give away nights and most of the time, they're pretty fun. I went to my first ever Caturday earlier this summer and I went to Yoga at the Outfield a few years ago. Star Wars Day is always a blast; the cosplay is always a treat. Some of the themed days seem pretty targeted at one particular demographic: women who may like baseball, but really like stuff women like, such as yoga, cats, and knitting. It's similar to the days when most of the team gear for women was pink and sparkly because ladies like pink and sparkly things. Women are a demographic and a bunch of white dudes sit in a room and decide what to sell to us. They go for the easiest thing: pink stuff. Theme nights sometimes feel a little like pink jerseys: a little silly, kind of unnecessarily, but usually fun in the end.

The latest theme game I attended was this past Sunday's Stitch N Pitch day. It's the perfect event for me: I can watch my favorite sport, embroider for a few hours, and hang out with other stitchers. I didn't know about Stitch N Pitch until this season; I don't know if the Nats have done one before, but the Seattle Mariners have had a similar event for fourteen years. I love this blogger's take on the Mariners' event. I feel bad that she experienced some negative comments, but overall it sounds like a great day of baseball and knitting. And the start: every baseball, does in fact, start with a ball of yarn.

I love sewing in public. It's one of those things that seems both innocent and subversive at the same time. Knitting, crochet, quilting, embroidery, needlework have always been in the realm of the female and the home. A lot of women artists use textiles in both traditional and unconventional ways in their art, and these types of art forms find popularity all the time. I've been embroidering steadily for over 10 years, and I love the fact that so many people are into sewing and other fabric arts. The times I've embroidered in public have mostly been non-events; sometimes people ask me questions about what I'm doing, but for the most part, no one really notices. I've only had one negative experience and it wasn't even that bad. The guy was being a jerk, I told him so, he moved on.

So I was looking forward to Stitch N Pitch because it brings together two things I really enjoy: baseball and embroidery. I even decided on a baseball themed project, the first part of my Detroit Project, Tiger Stadium. The idea of doing something like embroidery at a baseball game appeals to my feminist heart. Giving makers a very public place to create, even better! Best day ever!

I'm sure that the weather was part of the problem; it rained all day (playable rain, but still rain), so attendance was low. When I got to my seat there was a group of crocheters in the section next to mine. They invited me to join them and be part of their colorful yarn tribe. Anita and her mom where joining me, so I declined. They were really the only other group I saw, so it was a little disappointing. I wanted it to feel like a fun community of makers and it was a bit of a letdown. I still had fun with Anita and her mom because they're the best, and I got a good start on my Tiger Stadium project, but Stitch N Pitch was a bit of a bust.

Maybe next year, Nationals...in more ways than one. 

The Detroit Project, Part One: Erin Has a Vision, Part Two

NBC's crafting competition show, Making It, recently completed its first season. The show, in the great tradition of The Great British Baking Show, is an incredibly polite competition show, pitting crafters, craft bloggers, and interior decorators against one another. Patches are awarded to the winning crafter in each round, and they get to hang out with Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman. They all seem to really like one another and help one another out. Despite being a long-form commercial for Etsy, the show was fun to watch and was both calming, because everyone was so darn nice to one another, and inspiring. I want my own makers shed! I want to make really fun light fixtures out of reclaimed wood and my imagination! I want Nick Offerman to think I'm creative! Be my friend, Amy Poehler!

Since last summer, I've been on a creative journey of sorts, finding inspiration from my friends in our monthly Wine & Crafts gatherings, working on a craftivist project, and experimenting with random materials like using cassette tape ribbon in place of embroidery thread. I've always enjoying making things, and the more ambitious the project the better. I enjoy a challenge; that's why I made a purse out of Legos and occasionally make my own gummy bears. Figuring stuff out is half the fun of creative projects. At its heart creativity is problem-solving. I do love to problem solve.

Once I started working with the cassette tape, I started to think about more ways to broaden my project scope. I love a lot of the irreverent, political, and feminist patterns out there today, but I wanted to start creating my own patterns. If a random person on Etsy can do it, I'm pretty certain I can too. I've started small, with patterns for badges and key chains. And I was slightly more ambitious with my Ziggy Stardust inspired piece for my aunt. Lettering is a pain in the ass, especially when you use cassette tape ribbon for cursive script. Regardless, these smaller projects were the starting point to something grander.

My family is from Detroit. Both of my parents were born and raised in the city. They probably would have stayed in Michigan had my father not joined the Army. We moved from Dearborn, a suburb of Detroit, when I was four years old. I'm the only member of my immediate family who didn't grow up in Michigan. My brother went back for college, and lived in the apartment upstairs from the house our mother grew up in. For me, Detroit has always been a place I love fiercely, but have no real context for beyond the houses my parents grew up in (which my grandparents lived in until their deaths), my aunt's house in Corktown, Tiger Stadium, houses of relatives outside of the city that I recall from visits, and landmarks that are significant to us, but may not be to others (Lafayette Coney Island, Belle Isle, Dearborn Music, original location, and Pewabic Pottery).

I started to wonder what I could to create to explore my love of Detroit, my family history in the city, and discover a sense of home. That's another thing I think about often: where is home? I grew up all over the US, spending most of my time in New Orleans and Northern Virginia, two places that could not be more different from one another. At one point in my life, I considered New Orleans home, and to some degree, still feel very deeply connected to the city. I've never considered any part of Northern Virginia home, except for the fact that my family lives here. For me, I don't see NOVA as the place I'll live forever. Actually, that idea horrifies me a little bit since all I can think of is an endless loop of driving on 66 and hating everyone. This is not to say I don't have delightful childhood/teenage memories of NOVA and enjoy my adult existence here (to some degree), but it's not home.

I also want a big project to take up my time. What could be bigger than depicting the city of your birth? (Okay, okay, I was born in Southfield, MI, but you get my point.) With my Detroit Project, I want to tell the story of my family in Detroit via the places that were and are significant to us. The plan is to include landmarks as well, places that people need to know about and shaped the city of Detroit. I don't know what all of those places are yet, but I'll figure it out as I go. And yes, I'm aware that other artists already depict cities, but that's fine. My interpretation is not their interpretation. That's the fun of art.

So that's the idea, but now it's all about how to accomplish this whole thing. I identified a few places to start:

• My parents' childhood homes
• Tiger Stadium
• My aunt's house
• The Detroit Skyline
• the train station (Ford Motors has recently bought the station and is restoring it)
• Holy Redeemer Church (where my parents went to high school)
• Lafayette Coney Island
• Hamtramck Disney Land

I want to design each pattern myself. I've been baby-stepping my way to drawing patterns, using some of the set design knowledge from my college days to help me figure out basic shapes and that I can, in fact, make lines work together to form shapes and buildings. I bought a pattern from Etsy recently so I can practice buildings (yes, it's Detroit-themed). I need to visit to take photos so I'm working from my own images. I also plan to go through all the photos in my parents' basement to see if there's anything I can use there too. My brother took a few photos of places for me on his recent visit; the houses both do and don't look the same.  

I've decided to start with Tiger Stadium and make something for my brother. Tiger Stadium will always be my favorite baseball stadium. It was torn down years ago, and the space is now a community baseball field (which is great to see). When we were kids, we'd sit in the bleacher seats to watch games and do the Chicken Dance at some point in the game. I have a lot of fond memories of that stadium and my brother has even more (he worked there when he was in college too). Next week, I'm attending Stitch & Pitch at Nats Park here in DC, a random attempt to get crafters to come watch baseball. I have no idea if this is going to work. I'm basing the design on the original blueprints of the stadium and incorporating a few additional elements to enhance the vintage feel.

Next week, I'll share the process for creating the pattern and what it's like to embroider at a baseball game. That's a sentence I never thought I'd write, but here we are. Over the course of the next year, I'll share various projects from the Detroit Project, as well as unveiling my Badass Herstory project contribution. Here's hoping I can pull this off and make some cool pieces about a city I love very much.

Next week: We adventure to Nationals Park to experience Stitch & Pitch. I'll share my Detroit Tigers themed piece for my brother, and we'll discuss whether or not embroidering at a baseball game is a good idea.

Lazy Movie Weekend: Sons of Rydell High

There hasn't been a Lazy Movie Weekend in forever! I guess there were just too many things happening this summer to spend time hanging around my apartment watching movies. Granted, that didn't stop me from going to a theatre to watch movies. Today's LMW takes us out of my apartment and to the comfortable reclining chairs at the Alamo Drafthouse Woodbridge. But first, a musical interlude:

Yes, boys and girls, it's time to go back to school with the lovely Pink Ladies and the lovable T-Birds from Rydell High. I've never seen this movie in a theatre (it came out in 1982, I was three), and have always wanted to. The Alamo made that dream come true. If you've never been to an Alamo Drafthouse, I highly recommend that you take a trip to one as soon as humanly possible. There are three in Virginia - Winchester, Ashburn, and the newest location, Woodbridge, so there are plenty of options for you to explore. Alamo is an independent movie theatre chain from Austin, TX. I appreciate many things about the Alamo experience: it's a full service theatre, so servers bring food and drinks to your seat, you can drink beer while watching movies, and their popcorn is amazing.

Even better, is that the Alamo has special events. Events range from special showings of current movies, like that time I went to a ladies only screening of Wonder Woman, to anniversary screenings of movies to sing-alongs and quote-alongs. They even have afternoon tea with themed movies. My mom had a blast at our first tea with a screening of Marie Antoinette. Alamo has this great series called "Champagne Cinema" and Grease 2 was the featured movie on Labor Day. Finally, someone understands the value of this movie as the back to school gem that it is. Did I mention the props and themed drinks? We got a pink bandana, candy cigarettes, a handy guide to using our props, and drank a "Cool Rider."

(Yes, we all waved our flags during "Do It For Our Country." If nothing else, we are patriots.)

I love Grease 2. We can argue all day about Grease 2's superiority to its more famous movie sibling, Grease, but I will always win because Grease 2 is better. It just is. The music is better. The choreography is better. The dream sequence is amazing. I'm not claiming Grease 2 is a feminist movie, but it's not as horrifyingly misogynistic as Grease. The women of Grease 2 are way more interesting than any of the original Pink Ladies and they don't take the T-Birds nonsense. And Rex freaking Manning is in this movie.

And did I mention there are motorcycles? In this installment, the T-Birds have become a motorcycle gang. This is funny for two reasons:

1. There are only four of them. I feel like a gang requires more than four people.
2. I'm currently watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix. This will be very important as I watch Grease 2 at the Alamo.

Sons of Anarchy ran on FX from 2008-2014. I didn't watch it when it originally aired, but decided to start watching the series the day before going to see Grease 2. The show focuses on a fictitious motorcycle club called the Sons of Anarchy. They live in a little town called Charming (which makes me giggle) and are generally badass and awesome, but you know, also participating in criminal deeds like gun running and killing people. Like the T-Birds, the Charming chapter of the SOA seems small; I feel like they could also use some new members especially given the rate at which members are incarcerated, excommunicated/set on fire, and killed. 

I watched the entire first season of SOA in a day and half, so I had approximately 13 hours of motorcycle club drama swirling around in my head as I sat in the theatre to watch Grease 2. A lot happens in season one, including a stalker, club rivalries, the appearance of a horrible ATF agent, a hit gone horribly wrong, and Katey Sagal (she's awesome). I even took an online quiz to determine who my SOA husband would be (I'll let you guess). I'm also planning on starting the FX spinoff show Mayans MC this weekend; it premiered this week and I've been told by my SOA-watching friends that I can watch Mayans even though I've only just started the other show. Thank goodness.

So back to Grease 2. I haven't closely watched this movie in years. It's been on one of the movie channels recently, so I've caught bits and pieces, but like every movie I've seen a hundred times, it's usually just on as background noise. Being surrounded by other people who could quote and sing along with the movie made me feel like I'd found my people, my own gang, although I'll never see most of these people ever again. I always feel on the edges of fandoms, but with this little movie I feel right in center with all the other people singing their hearts out to "Cool Rider."

Since I was watching the movie closely, I have five lingering questions about Grease 2. This is a musical so reality stepped out the door the second the entire student body did a choreographed entrance to the first day of school. Still, I wonder about things. It's how my brain works and I can't help but have these five questions:

1. Why are there only four T-Birds? I get it, we can't have a cast of thousands and we needed an uneven number of guys and girls for the whole love triangle thing, but isn't it better for a gang to have more members? The bowling alley sequence proves this point; the T-Birds would have been pulverized if the Mystery Rider (psst...it's Michael) hadn't shown up. 
2. Where did Michael learn all those jumps? He gets his bike about a month to two into the school year and is somehow an ace rider by spring? This seems completely unrealistic especially given the jumping part. Where was he practicing? How did he never look banged up, given that he probably would have had a few spills as he was learning to ride a motorcycle?
3. Where does the rival gang go to school? Every single member of the Cycle Lords (yep, that's their name) looks to be about 30 years old, but we're supposed to believe that they are the rival gang of the T-Birds, who sort of look like older high school students. Did they go to whatever school the band is shouting about during practice? Are they really adults who can't shake their gang ways, but aren't ready for the big time so they just have a weird rivalry with a high school gang? Balmudo, the leader of the Cycle Lords, was in the first movie too (he brought Cha-Cha to the dance), but again, he looked like he was in his 30s, with three kids at home, and a pack a day smoking habit. This does not compute.
4. Who owns the Pink Lady car? At various points in the movie, a different Pink Lady is driving the car. Do they share it? Does it rotate between the members? Is the car passed down from Pink Lady group to Pink Lady group at graduation? Does Dolores inherit the car at the end of this movie? Did they pay dues and that's how they paid for the car? Do the T-Birds have a role in this since Pink Ladies are tied to being T-Bird chicks. How does this work?
5. How is it that the adults' reaction to the motorcycle gang showdown at the luau is to say "Michael?!" in the same breathy, surprised way Stephanie does rather than calling the cops? Eve Arden as Miss McGee is about as no nonsense as you can get in a principal in a musical (she had to put up with John Travolta in the first movie; she deserves a medal), so I can't imagine her first reaction is to be all jazzed up about the school nerd being a badass motorcycle guy. Yes, she has a place in her heart for the T-Birds, but come on! Someone has to be the adult in the room.

In addition to these five questions, I kept thinking about the Sons of Anarchy and how ridiculous/awesome it would be for them to just randomly break out into song during the show. I get it, SOA is not a comedy. I'm on the second episode of season two; there's literally nothing funny about what's happening right now. I love Henry Rollins, but I'm a hard time with him on this show. But as I was watching Grease 2, I couldn't stop placing the SOA in the songs, particularly the song "Prowling." This is the song the T-Birds sing at the talent show towards the end of the movie (it's Grease equivalent would be "Greased Lightning" which is a horrible song). "Prowling" is about picking up women in a grocery store, which if you've ever been to a Trader Joe's in NOVA on a weekend, is a real thing dudes do.

I could see Bobby, with his propensity for Elvis impersonations, stepping into the Johnny role because he has the star power to do it. I'm torn as to who would be his back up singers, but I think it would be Opie, Juice, and Chibs. They seem like they would take a musical number in stride, have some laughs, maybe do it for charity as Gemma is always trying to keep the club involved in community activities. Maybe Jax could sing Michael's ballad "Charades." It could work, given Jax's knowledge of what really happened to Donna and his disillusionment with the club. If someone who has the talent wants to create a SOA/Grease 2 mashup for me, I will be most pleased.

Until then, I'll keep watching SOA and envisioning musical numbers and trying to figure out if the T-Birds or the Cycle Lords would have been a good chapter addition for SAMCRO (Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club, Redwood Original, for those of you who have never watched the show).

Or maybe I'll just head back to the Alamo. There's a screening of Carrie coming up soon or maybe I'll go see Clueless, so I can quote my way to 1990s glory.


Coming soon: I watch all three versions of A Star is Born to prepare for the new version starring Lady Gaga, I'll unveil two major embroidery projects, and I get crafty at a baseball game. 

SOA picture
Back to School
T-Birds
Prowling