On using your rock star power for good

We all have an inner rock star. This doesn't mean that we're supposed to front a ridiculously successful rock band called Transient Suburbia or a trendy alt-rock band called Gettysburg Go Round. It just means that we all have an inner cool and awesomeness that we can call on when needed. It can be something small like wearing a new pair of shoes that make you feel taller and more confident or something major like a promotion or not having the 100th awkward conversation with the guy you like (instead you're just normal and not weird).

Having a crappy day? Ask yourself, what would (insert favorite rock start name here) do? If you picked Iggy Pop and it was still 1977 the answer is probably heroin so you should pick again.

I had a music filled week: the new Rolling Stone came on Tuesday (although I could have lived the rest of my life without seeing Rick Ross on the cover without a shirt), enjoyed open mic night at Iota on Wednesday, and went to see Kelly Clarkson on Thursday. I even bought the new album by The Darkness and watched Satisfaction. What I realized is that every now and then real rock stars (and those that aspire to be rock stars) have to be reminded about using their rock star powers for good. If I can do it so can they. So because I care, here are some things that we can all do (including actual rock stars) to make sure we're always using our rock star powers for good:

1. Make smart life choices. At the Kelly Clarkson concert on Thursday, she opened with one of my favorites, My Life Would Suck Without You, and then proceeded to chat with the audience for a few minutes about wanting everyone to be successful and to have a good time. Then she put on a great show, made some jokes, and clearly had a good time herself.  All without dressing inappropriately, being a diva, or cursing. Why wouldn't we want to be exactly like that all the time?
2. Consider your wardrobe carefully. At open mic night this week, the first performer of the evening was clearly banking on being the "Open Mic Night Heartthrob". What he didn't realize was that skinny jeans are not really a great look for the majority of humanity including himself. My friend Daniella decided that he'd be cuter if he had worn different pants. If you want to channel your rock star power and use it for good, consider your pants carefully. 
3. On similar note, shirt choice is also very important. Hipster fashion dictates that gentlemen wear deep vee neck t-shirts. In my mind, a guy wearing a deep vee screams d-bag. I don't know what it is about that particular neckline but nothing good can ever come of it. I know all rock stars think they are the next Jim Morrison or Mick Jagger but trust me, you can accomplish that without a deep vee neck shirt. I promise.
4. Don't be predictable. If you are the lead singer of The Fray and you walk on stage wearing a denim jacket in 90 degree weather, I know that you are wearing a wife-beater under your jacket and at some point, you are going to take that jacket off like we're all supposed to care. And talk about how you're such a "badass" (said no one ever). If you're going to do this at least have the decency to get a cool arm sleeve tattoo before the show.
5. Be exactly like Kelly Clarkson's bass player. His name is Einar Pederson and he was hilarious (possibly my favorite part of the evening). Clearly Einar subscribes to the rock star power of just going with it and having a good time. This video will sum up why I love this guy and temporarily forgot that drummers are my favorite.
6. Shaming your audience into doing something during a performance is totally unacceptable. Yes, we should all pay our respects for those impacted by recent tragic events BUT getting an entire concert audience to stand so you can sing a crap song and run around the place is not really accomplishing that - it's just annoying the people who wish your set was done already. Instead, use the rock star power for good and encourage your fans to donate money to worthy causes, register to vote and elect candidates who support tougher gun laws, and maybe even encourage people to volunteer and be a part of their community. You know, be like Bono.
7. As a wise group of men known as the 610 Stompers like to say you should dance like no one is watching. When you use your rock star power for good you must always follow this rule even if you know everyone is watching. That is the only way to enjoy life.
8. Remember who your friends are and make time for them. I've been to a lot of concerts and have recently noticed how many artists appeal to a wide range of ages and they all come out for a show. The KC concert was no exception - preteens, teens (girls and boys), college age kids, couples, and lots of women in their 30s and 40s enjoying a night out. Open mic night was similar (although no teenagers) and I thought that was pretty cool for an open mic night. Those who use their rock star powers for good always remember that rock stars don't exist in a vacuum and it's better to share those moments with people you care about (and who care about you) than to be alone.
9. Teach your children concert parking lot etiquette. I may not believe in the rules for making mix tapes but I do believe in certain concert rules mainly because I am an old lady concert goer. Certain things make me cranky: people wearing the shirt of the band they're going to see, unnecessarily standing during a concert, talking loudly about the last time you saw this band and how much better that show was (tip: no one cares). My biggest pet peeve is people who don't respect the rules of the parking lot. You're supposed to let people into the flow of traffic so we can all get home at a "reasonable" hour. Stop talking on your phone, stop flipping your hair and rolling your eyes at me, and learn how to merge. If your parents didn't teach you this than I will - with the front bumper of my car and the Metallica I'm blaring over your One Direction song.
10. Be like my dad and take your daughter to her first concert. There were lots of dads (and moms) taking their daughters to the concert on Thursday. I'm guessing that most were not thrilled to have to sit through the concert but I know they were enjoying the experience with their daughters. Real rock stars, remember this. Remember that some kid in the audience is there experiencing their first concert. Don't be a jerk on stage and sing the songs they're expecting to hear (I'm talking to you Bob Dylan). At some point in your life you were the kid at the rock show too.

That's really Kelly Clarkson on stage singing My Life Would Suck Without You. Trust me, I was there.

Lazy Weekend Movie: Oz, chickens, and inappropriateness

Recently, I've re-watched some movies from my childhood that I haven't seen in years. This is what happens when I get fancy cable - I have too many choices and too much to watch. I also have a DVR for the first time so it doesn't even matter if I'm home or not; I can just record whatever I want and watch it later. Technology clearly wants me to be a slug.

After re-watching Three Men and a Baby, Police Academy (the first one), and Return to Oz, I've come to the realization that I never should have watched these movies when I did. If my memory is correct then I saw all of these movies for the first time between the ages of 10-13. Let's leave out the fact that last week I figured out that Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, and Steve Guttenberg were the original hipsters, these movies included a tremendous amount of characters and events that were probably not really appropriate for an 11 year old. My parents have no responsibility for this; I was incredibly sneaky in my TV watching as a kid and feel like I saw most of these movies at other friends' houses or at the library.

Yesterday I re-watched Return to Oz. The "sequel" to The Wizard of Oz (it's not really a sequel to the film more of a companion film and it's more closely related to specific books in the Oz canon) came out in 1985 and starred a very young Fairuza Balk as Dorothy Gale. I always thought that she vaguely resembled Judy Garland although much younger than Ms. Garland was when she portrayed Dorothy. Apparently going to Oz also reverses the aging process so that 46 years later a new movie can be released and your character is about 10. Movies are magical that way.

Anyway, the movie picks up 6 months after Dorothy returns from Oz. Dorothy has problems sleeping and no one believes her when she tells them about Oz and her adventures. Aunt Em and Uncle Henry look about 20 years younger than they did in the first film and don't seem to know what to do with Dorothy. Toto is still around but we also have the addition of Billina, the chicken (this will be more important later).

Now on the surface this sounds totally fine and normal. Most adults are not going to believe a story like Dorothy's so it's not surprising that Aunt Em and Uncle Henry are struggling to deal with Dorothy. However, it's sort of crazy what happens next. Remember that the Oz books came out starting in 1900 so "mental health" and "science" were still very Victorian and frankly, pretty crazy. L. Frank Baum may have predicted many technological advances in his novels (like televisions, wireless phones, and laptops) but he also created some freaky (and scary) characters and made some bold statements about politics and social topics through his work (which I appreciate very much but still). So it's no wonder that Aunt Em and Uncle Henry turn to a crackpot doctor to cure their little Dorothy. And this brings me to the first thing about this movie that I am amazed by today:

Dorothy is taken to an asylum to receive electroshock therapy.

Yes, you read that correctly. Aunt Em and Uncle Henry decide to send Dorothy to a doctor for electroshock therapy (although it's described as electric healing in the ad we see). It's supposed to help with her forget her dreams and cure her sleeplessness. Of course it would; that's what happens when you send electrical currents through a person's brain. I have to give Uncle Henry some credit here: he doesn't like the idea one bit but possibly more because they have to borrow money from a relative to pay for it and that's charity. In my mind it's more because he knows it a crock.

Aunt Em takes Dorothy to a creepy clinic (it's an asylum, not a clinic) and leaves her there under the care of creepy Dr. Worley and Nurse Wilson. Ozma (the lost princess of Oz) appears to Dorothy and helps her escape. And, of course, Dorothy returns to Oz.

If electroshock therapy wasn't enough there are other disturbing things about this movie that probably terrified me as a child.

• The entire river escape sequence. Dorothy and Ozma run through the dark woods during a terrible storm ending at a dangerous river. Ozma falls in and before Nurse Wilson can get her, Dorothy jumps in. Ozma disappears and Dorothy makes it to safety in a large chicken coop. Don't ever go in the woods and don't ever jump into a river.
• When Dorothy returns to Oz, everyone has been turned to stone and several are missing their heads. Billina, the chicken, remarks that this seems "careless". Yes, carelessness is exactly what it is.
• The Wheelers. I think the Wheelers are supposed to be this movie's version of the flying monkeys. The flying monkeys were not scary at all; I always thought they were cute and lovable (just using their flying for evil instead of good and that could be addressed). The Wheelers are super creepy and vaguely reminiscent of several of the gangs in the movie The Warriors. They're basically creepy looking dudes who have skates for hands and tell Dorothy they're going to capture her, tear her to pieces, and throw her in the Deadly Desert. Awesome.
• Mombi (aka Nurse Wilson in Oz). Mombi is another villain in the Oz list of villains and she is responsible for the "carelessness" with which people lost their heads. She is able to remove her head and replace it with any number of the heads she keeps in display cases (much like a queen would display her tiaras). She decides Dorothy is pretty enough to lock in a tower until the time is right to add Dorothy to a display case of her own. Dorothy sasses her (Fairuza is an excellent sassy Dorothy) and gets away. This entire sequence creeps me out every time I see it and age has not made it any better.
• The Nome King used the ruby slippers to destroy Oz. He is also afraid of chickens and has a freak out when he's told (by a weird nome thing) that Billina (the chicken) is in Oz. It turns out that eggs are poisonous to the Nome King and ultimately that's how he is defeated. There was a time in my life when I didn't really like eggs. I wonder if this movie has anything to do with it.

This is so not a children's movie. I think I saw it for the first time at the library. I always liked going to the library to get my summer reading list checked off by the librarian (she gave us gold stars) and the library showed movies during the summer. I remember seeing Return to Oz, Charlotte's Web, and Willy Wonka in the same summer. It was clearly a summer of somewhat surreal children's movies.

I do love the character Tik-Tok, the army of Oz. He helps Dorothy defeat the Wheelers and find the Scarecrow (I hope I'm not spoiling this for any of you) later in the film. He has two of my favorite quotes in the movie:

"I am only a machine. So I cannot be sorry or happy no matter what happens." and "I have always valued my lifelessness." This might be how the robots are planning their take over.

Lazy Weekend Movie is a new monthly (or maybe more frequently) post I've decided to do. I write enough about movies so I thought I'd make it more official. I'm thinking that crafting the perfect movie marathon will be next LWM post. You're welcome. 

So tell me how you feel about Steve Guttenberg?

Back before I moved to Arlington, I used to tell people that I wasn't cool enough to live here. I was specifically referring to Clarendon, a cool kid neighborhood where my company's office just happens to be located. My friend Emily described the neighborhood this way, "This neighborhood could only get hipper if they put a bird on it." If you have no idea what this means, hopefully this video will help you:

When Emily posted this gem, I was at the airport in Orange County waiting for my flight back to San Francisco. I starting laughing loudly and the two people sitting near me seemed a little startled. The man asked me what was so funny and I had to explain it to him. His response was that he was from Portland. And then he returned to his book.

One of my many accomplishments this week was that I finally got cable and internet (and a landline phone-what?) installed. I have tv again! After a delightful evening out exploring Arlington (thank you Allison and Thayer), I was flipping through channels and stumbled upon the 1987 "classic" Three Men and a Baby. I can't remember the last time I watched this movie. Here are some highlights:

• Leonard Nimoy (yes, Spock) directed this movie. Please take a moment to consider how funny this is. He did not direct the sequel but he did direct and an episode of TJ Hooker.
• There was a time in our collective past when Steve Guttenberg was a very popular, well-paid actor. He was also very popular with the ladies (apparently). This seems like something we should all discuss at some point because if this can happen, imagine the possibilities for us all. (And for the record, I love Steve Guttenberg, particularly in The Boyfriend School.)
• If I understood the opening sequence correctly, Tom Selleck, Steve Guttenberg, and Ted Danson are the epitome of hip, sophisticated, urban cool. They're men about town (literally depicted in the mural Steve's character paints in the entry way to their home) and possibly were the 1987 version of hipsters (if there could be such a thing).

I've discussed my love/hate/love/hate relationship with all things hipster in the past. Alameda was definitely a hipster haven and benefitted greatly from the need for trendy coffee shops, local art stores, and cool kid bars. I admit that I have hipster tendencies; I love Wes Anderson (considered by many to be the original hipster), The Decemberists, owls, hedgehogs, and polka dots. But that's where the similarities end. I'm too old to be a hipster although I'm exactly the age one should be to love irony, PBR, and discussing Neil Diamond music. The problem is that irony makes me tired, PBR is terrible, and I actually like Neil Diamond.

I have a very wise friend named Matt who enjoys making comments about my coolness."Just tell them that you actually liked stuff before actually liking stuff was cool." This is one of my favorite things Matt has ever told me. In this one sentence, Matt figured out my entire life and has given me my new gauge for how to make friends. Now I'll have to ask new people I meet if they like irony and if they've always liked something. I imagine the conversation will go something like this:

(Erin meets New Friend in the cereal aisle of Trader Joe's.)

Me: Hi New Friend.
New Friend: Hi Erin.
Me: Random question, if you had to pick a KISS solo album to listen to on a Saturday night, would you pick Peter Criss or Ace Frehley?
New Friend: Neither-we all know that the KISS solo albums were just an exercise in ego. If I'm going to listen to KISS, I'm going to listen to Destroyer or Creatures of the Night.
Me: Good to know. Another question, at sporting events when people sing those annoying add on lines during "Sweet Caroline" do you sing along?
New Friend: No, Neil Diamond wouldn't approve.
Me: Have you always liked Neil Diamond?
New Friend: Yep. What's not to like? I mean, "Cherry, Cherry" is classic 60s pop music.
Me: How do you feel about irony?
New Friend: Well, irony is not really something that I feel any one way towards. As a literary device, it's useful and interesting. As a lifestyle choice, well, people could do better things with their time. I always thought that there should be a punctuation for irony. (Side note: this is an actual thing. People have proposed a special punctuation for irony. For real.)
Me: I couldn't agree more, New Friend. Well, I've gotta get back to work. Nice seeing you. Are you up for trivia on Wednesday night?
New Friend: Sure, but we still need our sports person and we're not ending the night at Spider Kelly's.

Scene.

The Road Ninja is done

This was supposed to be about something else entirely but I just wasn't feeling it when I sat down today. I will save that idea for another time.

This Road Ninja is done with moving. Yes, I know I always say this and then end up moving again but I mean it this time. Unless moving professionals, a ton of money, and a moving planner are involved, I will be staying in this lovely apartment for the foreseeable future. The thought of purging stuff, packing, loading a truck, driving anywhere longer than 30 minutes away,  unloading a truck, unpacking, and reorganizing my life again makes my stress hives start. I don't want to complete another online address change request. I don't want to fill out another state's tax form.

My mom asked me how many times I've moved total (since it is actually more than my family has moved) and I told her sixteen times. I lied - this move to Arlington makes eighteen times. This includes:

• Eight states (Michigan, Wisconsin, Alabama, Louisiana, Virginia, Georgia, Hawaii, and California) - Now technically I never physically lived in Georgia but it was my permanent address for 2 years in college so I have to count it.
• 10 apartments
• 1 dorm room
• Louisiana and Virginia tie for the most times living in one state (I've lived in each on 3 separate occasions.)
• 3 cars (although I only really drove 2 of them)
• 2 roommates (both amazing ladies!!)

Pumpkin has lived in 4 states and 9 apartments. She's a very well-traveled cat. Too bad she suffers from terrible car sickness. I guess that's what becoming an old lady cat will do to you.

This past move was particularly difficult, not because I was particularly attached to California or because I was coming back to Arlington under negative circumstances. It was just a lot. There has to be a point in one's life when the nomadic tendencies stop. I'm hoping that this is that time for me. 

I'm in a list mood today (because I've been making a lot of lists this week). Here's what this move looks like in list form:

• 3,122 miles driven between Alameda and Arlington
• 60 hours in the car (this doesn't account for time spent in Detroit visiting family or running errands)
• 14 states
• 3 mountain ranges
• 3 hotels
• $80 in tolls (Pennsylvania was the most expensive because there are 2 tolls. Silly PA.)
• $900 for gas. Haul and Oates were expensive.
• 8 fast food restaurants, 1 Olive Garden
• 1 almost accident (People need to not stop abruptly on freeway on-ramps when I'm driving behind them in a large truck and towing my car. Stopping quickly is not really an option, guy in the white truck.)
• 1 experience with time travel
• 35 postcards sent (I hope they've all arrived)
• 1 public shouting episode with UHaul (at a winery)
• 3 trips to Target since arriving in VA 
• 2 trips to the grocery since arriving in VA
• 1 very awesome big brother

                           

I've accomplished a lot this week. I went to work every day (and worked late most days), unpacked all but three boxes (I have no idea where my CDs are going to go), and I was able to get back and forth to work without getting lost. I didn't have to use my directions after 2 days! I bought a TV today and pictures are hanging on the walls. There is a closet that shall not be discussed but I will eventually get to it and figure out what to do with it. The apartment feels more like home - my things have found their places (except for maybe the Saints gnome) and Pumpkin seems to be enjoying herself. Between the large window and her discovery of the top of the cabinets, she's made herself right at home here. The only things left on my shopping list are things I don't really need right now (like a shoe organizer and something for the CDs). I guess I'm done for now. I guess all that's left to do now is stop reorganizing cabinets and closets and get out there and enjoy my new town.  

Totally unrelated note: Thanks for reading! The Island hit a big milestone this week (over 2000 hits) and I really appreciate that people have kept reading, commenting, and sharing. I promise to be more amusing next week and quote my friend Matt (since I was supposed to do it this week but failed miserably).

Happy reading!

What do you mean I don't live on an island anymore?

A farewell cocktail

I'm here - Virginia. We made it across country (again) and in one piece. Haul and Oates did their job and tomorrow I can get rid of the last part of the duo and move into my apartment. Pumpkin won't have to run away from the dog or jump on top of the refrigerator (although I suspect she really enjoys that part of being at my parents' house).

I did a lot during my final days in Alameda. I went to a Giants game, the Off the Grid food truck event at South Shore, a BBQ, going away drinks, my final work lunch, and an A's game. Oh and I did some packing, dropped off the last donations, and started cleaning.

In a previous post, I declared this year the year of the friend. I feel like I made progress on that while in Alameda and I will definitely miss the friends I've made and hope that they'll come visit me in Arlington.

I enjoyed being part of the ever-shrinking Oakland office.  Erin, Katrien, David, and Creighton - make sure to drop by when you're in Arlington. I look forward to wearing my Oakland shirt at the H'Oscars. Once an Oakland office member, always an Oakland office member.

To the Altarena peeps: I have enjoyed working with you all and having the opportunity to be part of an Alameda tradition. Joe and Sue, thanks for being my Forbidden Island buddies, reading and encouraging the blog, and making me feel as "local" as I can be. Liz, Mari, and Star: thanks for helping with the UHaul last week. I was totally impressed with the job we did. I appreciate it more than you know. Keep in touch and thanks for the laughs. Star, thanks for introducing me to DPC and talking art with me. Liz, I'm glad someone else understands my travel obsession and doesn't think my crush on Richard Dowden is too weird.

Making candy with strangers - delicious

To Erin, Scott, and team 959: Erin, thanks for making me feel like a part of the Oakland office rather than "the other Erin." I will do my best to find a sane (but interesting and fun) new trainer to keep things balanced and entertaining. I don't know what I enjoyed the most: listening to Pat's random mix CDs before meeting him, making candy with strangers (Katherine, Amber, and Seth), listening to Emily's side comments, Matt's crazy stories, or the musings of Dr. Scott. It's been great getting to know all of you. Hopefully, I'll see y'all next time I'm in town. I was also not joking when I told Erin I would post a video of Dr. Scott on this blog. Film it and send it to me and Dr. Scott will make his Island debut. It will be amazing.

And what will become of the Island of Misfit Toys? This blog started as a way for me to figure out my way in California and I think it helped tremendously. However, it's really morphed into me being me and having an outlet for writing so I think it'll stay the same. As I explained to several people before I left, I'm sort of the misfit toy and the island now. I think it still fits. I hope you keep reading because I'm going to keep on writing.

Does your mom know you're here?

We've spent the last two days hanging around Detroit. Both of our parents were born and raised in southwest Detroit. Scott and I were born here too (him in Detroit, me in Southfield). We moved away before I started kindergarten. We spent a lot of summers and holidays here when we were growing up. I really didn't like Detroit when I was a kid. My friends went to camp or on vacations in the summer. We went to Detroit where there was no air conditioning and nothing to do (at least that's what I remember telling my friends all the time). What I probably never told them was all the fun I did have playing with my cousins - making mud pies in my grandpa's backyard, going to Tigers games, and getting to go to Dairy Queen on Michigan Avenue (this is back when most DQs were only open in the summers).

I complained about these trips but secretly I loved them. I particularly liked sitting at the kitchen table at either of my grandparents' houses (or late my aunt's) and listening to the adults talk. They'd tell fun stories about our family or gossip about relatives that weren't around. We'd stock up on Vernor's and Faygo and Better Made potato chips. Good times.

Detroit has changed a lot since those summers. I know most people don't know or don't want to know Detroit. It's easier to make fun of the city and to overlook it's colorful history or its contributions to industry, agriculture, art, and music. I'm not going to spend time trying to convince anyone that Detroit is awesome - I know it is, my family knows it is, and people who love Detroit get it. If you don't, that's cool. We can't all like everything all the time.

My aunt took Scott and I on a little tour of places of our past. I feel like my aunt is the keeper of Detroit. She and her family live in one of the oldest neighborhoods in Detroit and really live for the city. She doesn't want us to forget these great places. So we drove to the Detroit River and walked part of the Dequindre Cut. The Riverfront is beautiful; a lot of work has been done to make it bike and walker/jogger friendly and support local art.

Wave to Canada!

We also took Scott by the Heidelberg Project. I had been here before and thought it was amazing. It's an outdoor art project started in 1986. The artist, Tyree Guyton, started the project as a partial political protest to the decline in the neighborhood. The city has razed it twice but he keeps going.  If you make it to Detroit, you should check it out.

Parts of the city are definitely undergoing revitalization. The hipsters have moved in and hopefully, the allure of living in edgy neighborhoods doesn't wear off before they do some good. Neighborhoods change and some look like they're changing for the better. 

Visiting family was great and we did the Detroit errands we always do: Dearborn Music, hockey store, and grocery trip. Dearborn Music is one of my favorite places. You can find good used music and they have a huge selection of indie bands. They're moving to a bigger location soon so it was good to go to the old store one more time. Scott also got to go to the hockey store (like a toy store for hockey players). 

No trip would be complete without a grocery run to get our favorites. Buying potato chips and pop (yeah, I said pop-I'm still in Michigan you know) is the best. We don't eat them in the car on the way home; these are saved for later. It's like a reward - you've driven over 2300 miles and you have about 600 more to go, so you deserve some chips and a pop when you get there (despite the fact that you've eaten fast food for days). That first Rock  & Rye is going to be epic.

Thanks Detroit (and family) for another great visit. We'll meet again soon and hopefully for more a visit next time.

The great relocation of 2012 is drawing to a close. Haul and Oates have had a few days rest in Detroit and should be ready for the open road. Hopefully, Scott and I can get the car back on the tow dolly without an accident. We have written instructions and we watched the guy do it the first time. If all else fails, there's a U-Haul location up the road and they can do it for us.

One more mountain range to go.

Road Ninjas

Today was another long travel day. We started out in Omaha, NE and made our way through a large part of Iowa, Illinois, and Indiana. Michigan is our 10th state in 4 days and we have four left before we get to Virginia. Hopefully, between now and then I will not throw Rosie out a window.

Rosie is my brother's GPS. I don't own a GPA and Rosie is partially responsible for that. She's named after the robot from The Jetsons. Scott thought the voice on the GPS sounded like the cartoon character. Rosie the GPS and Rosie the Robot have a lot in common:

1. The voice is the most obvious. Rosie the Robot's voice is a bit huskier but they definitely could be related.
2. Both are bossy and know everything. Rosie the GPS just won't stop with her demands: "Turn left, then turn right." "Turn left, turn left. Turn right." "Didn't you hear me you moron -turn left!" Sadly, Rosie doesn't often realize that we're stopped at a stop sign or light. You can't turn left on red.
3. In theory, both have their owners' safety in mind. Rosie the Robot took excellent care of the Jetsons and gave sage advice even in her bossy way. Rosie the GPS is great if you're going from point A to point B on a the highway (she even avoided a roadway my brother hates near our hotel) BUT Rosie the GPS is also rather fond of sending us through the set of The Wire. No matter where we are, she seems to find the worst part of town at least for part of the trip. Her focus on safety is questionable.

Rosie the GPS has gotten us here and I know she'll help get us all the way to Virginia. That doesn't stop me from hating her just a little bit every time she says "Recalculating" or tells me to turn left but stay right. That just doesn't make any sense.

As we were driving through Illinois (Scott was driving, I was reading), Scott happened to see a road sign about a road ninja. I looked up just in time to see what he was talking about but not in time to take a picture. Road Ninja is an app so I did what anyone with an iPhone would do, I looked it up. It's a free app, created by the company that is responsible for most of the signage you see along the highway. It lets you search upcoming exits and find nearby services. Road Ninja may be my favorite thing ever. 

We used Road Ninja to find an Arby's in Indiana (if you have to eat fast food you might as well eat what you like) and figure out what restaurants were in Jackson, MI where we decided to stop for dinner. Road Ninja, like a real ninja, doesn't talk but sends you awesome advice like "You are too far away from an exit to strike. Remember your Road Ninja training: Creep closer and try again." Or "Road Ninja senses nothing at this exit move along." 

Road Ninja balances Rosie since it's quiet, stealthy, and provides information that isn't always easy to use when you look up places on Rosie's search option (Road Ninja displays exits 40 miles or more away). Did I mention that one of the icons on the options menu is a throwing star? 

Road Ninja led us to Jackson for dinner this evening. Earlier in the day, Scott and I were discussing where we might stop for dinner. We knew we'd have to stop before we got to the hotel since it would be late and our dining options would be limited. I made some comment about our attire and Scott replied, "We're basically dressed to go to the Olive Garden." This may be the funniest thing my brother has said so far on this trip (and he's said a lot of funny things). So when Road Ninja displayed our food options and the Olive Garden was listed we couldn't help ourselves and went there for dinner.

Scott was 100% correct in his clothing assessment: we fit in perfectly. I have this habit of trying to figure out what's going on with people at other tables when I'm in a restaurant. Are they on a first date? Is it awkward? Are they fighting? It's probably not a great habit but it's fun to do particularly when I'm by myself. Anyway, we were seated by a window and there was a couple at seated right behind Scott. I was trying to figure out if they were a couple couple, related to one another, or friends. I admit that I still haven't figured it out.

The guy was in his 50s, tall and rotund (a big, big guy). He had one of those bluetooth earpieces in and a big, diamond encrusted ring. The woman was younger and blond, dressed in a shiny, lowish cut shirt and Olive Garden appropriate shorts. I couldn't figure out what their deal was. We overheard a part of their conversation and that centered around "the girls" at work who weren't doing their jobs and just wanted to sit around and listen to their music. Yes, they were discussing strippers. We still haven't figured out if the guy was the owner or manager of the club or her boyfriend. They left shortly after we overheard this nugget of conversational amazing but they were still in the parking lot when we left, hanging out by a very large white pickup truck. Keeping it classy Olive Garden style.

I leave you on that note, Island readers. I'll post more later this week.

Can't talk about ninjas without mentioning pirates.