Everyone else is doing yoga, so should I?

This post has literally nothing to do with The Cranberries but I've always liked this song and haven't listened to it recently. Musical introductions to a post should be a thing.*

A few weeks ago, I shared my thoughts on my fitness regime and what wellness means to me. I've spent a lot of my life listening to others tell me how they thought I should get in shape or diets that I should go on or dozens of other "helpful" tips for being a better me...in their eyes. I have struggled with this most of my life as have most people who are "too fat" or "too thin" or "too (fill in the blank)" for whatever societal norms we've created. There are a lot of great writers out there who talk about these "standards" in more concise and eloquent ways than I ever will be able to do. Check out Lindy West, Caitlin Moran, Roxane Gay, Lena Dunham, Jessica Valenti, Rebecca Solnit, to name a few. The body positive movement is great (when it doesn't turn on itself which is often) and I'm glad to see retailers embracing diversity in body type as much as they have ethnicity or gender identity in recent years. It's refreshing and gives me hope for the universe (most days).

When I got back from my cousin's wedding in Detroit, I made the decision to add some new activities to my workouts. I go to the gym five to six days a week and as much as I like my treadmill routine (y'all, I've read so many books this year), I realized that it was time to mix it up. My gym time works really well for the work week since I naturally get up early and I have a finite amount of time in the morning before I need to be at work. The convenience factor of having a fitness center in my building means I don't have to go anywhere but downstairs, sweat it out, and come back to my apartment to get ready. I know myself well enough to know that adding travel time into this mix would mean I wouldn't actually do it. However, I also know I need the variety to stay dedicated to this plan. One of the areas I want to focus on is toning my arms so I'm currently looking for some arm workouts I can either do in my apartment or in the fitness center since there are already weights there. The other choice I made was to try yoga.

I've never done yoga before. As a theatre major, I had to take a movement class in college and there were what I'll call "yoga adjacent" sections within the course. Frankly, yoga always seemed to be one of those things that bored, entitled 20 somethings do mostly so they can buy cute clothes and be able to say "I have yoga and then a detox facial. Can we move that to 2:30?" Yes, that's stereotypical and mean of me but sometimes I'm mean. I'm sorry. Anyway, being "yoga adjacent" in class sort of turned me off from yoga as a whole. Honestly, I think my yoga aversion had more to do with not feeling comfortable in my own skin than yoga itself. There's something about being in a class in public, whether it be yoga or Zumba or something else, that raises my anxiety and self-consciousness.

Anyway, I decided that this is stupid and I need to get over it and give yoga an actual try. My friend, Emily, recently started taking classes at a studio in Crystal City that she raved about. With this recommendation, I signed myself up for a month-long pass to take as many classes at the studio as I'd like. I figured I could try a few different types of classes and see if any of them would stick. I bought a yoga mat, a yoga towel, and prepared for my first class. Emily, being the pal that she is, accompanied me to the first (and second) class to be my yoga sherpa.

I had no expectations, not really, going into that first class. I set up my mat and then Emily gave me a bunch of props (blocks, blankets, pillows) as directed by our instructor. I get the blocks but all the other stuff was foreign to me; I had no idea yoga had so much equipment. My first class was a bit rocky; I didn't really know what I was doing, the instructor was good but seemed a little scattered (she was subbing and late that day so I get it), and it hurt. I realized I have muscles I didn't even know existed and every single one of them hated me so much on that day (and the day after). If muscles could secede from a body, mine would have that weekend. By the end of the class, I was a little sweaty and finally getting the hang of different asanas, the poses or postures of yoga. There are 84 classical asanas said to have been revealed by the god Shiva, founder of hatha yoga (what most of us just call yoga). I'm going to stop my history of yoga there because that's as far as it goes. I admit that my research into yoga has been limited which is a little weird for me. I'll probably remedy that sometime in the future.

I didn't love the first two classes but I liked some aspects of both. The biggest takeaway was the idea of focus for my yoga practice. Both of the instructors started class by having everyone focus on the goal of their practice for the day; it could be a personal goal or something that you want to send out to the world or another person. I liked the idea of focusing a class or the larger practice of yoga on a goal. I'm not doing yoga to appropriate another culture nor am I on some sort of spiritual journey. For me, the practice of yoga is about focus, strength, and balance. I like being able to not think about anything but being in the moment of my yoga practice. Focus can be hard sometimes and being able to just breath and focus for an hour or is really magical.

My first two classes were not the classes for me. The instructors were good but neither class filled the yoga void. My third class, Warm Gentle Hatha, would be the game changer. Both hot and warm yoga use increased temperature to help increase flexibility (or so I've read). In warm yoga, the studio is heated to 90-95 degrees (hot yoga is usually 100 degrees). I figured I spent a large portion of my life in New Orleans so 90 degrees would be nothing. I was pleasantly surprised that I was right. Here's what I learned in my first warm yoga class:

• 90 degrees is really not that bad - I didn't focus on the heat as much as learning the poses. It was hot but not unbearable.
• Glasses and warm yoga do not mix. Hell, glasses and yoga are challenging in general. I don't see well without them so I make it work. 
• Drinking when the instructor says to is a must as is coming to class hydrated. 
• Yoga makes me hungry (this is probably because my class ends at 12:30). I make better lunch/snack choices when I come out of yoga so that's a plus. 
• Listening to orchestra/yoga appropriate versions of "Shake It Off" and "Livin' On a Prayer" makes the class even better. 
• The instructor makes all the difference. I didn't dislike my first two instructors but I love my third. She gives clear instructions, models the pose well, gives options to the group since we're at various levels, and made yoga accessible to me.

I left the class feeling exactly how I wanted - strong, more balanced, and in control. The second I thought "my body can't do that," it just did. Boom - here's the millionth Downward-Dog pose of class. What? Did I just do five planks in a row and not die? Yes, yes I did. Why is it called Awkward Chair? Because it's awkward and chair-like. Let's Warrior it up some more because I'm amazing at Warrior I and II. I also realized that I've been doing two poses forever - Shavasana (Corpse pose) and Vriksasna (Tree pose). When I'm stressed or have any sort of back or neck pain, I lay on my floor with everything relaxed which is Shavasana without the intention. Shavasana is about resetting at the end of practice, giving the body time to reset and rest after the workout you've just gone through. It's meant to focus a person and reduce tension. I love Shavasana both in class and at home. I sleep in Tree pose. Obviously it's not the same but that's what it is. I've always described sleeping in a four or nine when I sleep on my back but it's basically Tree pose. I also tend to stand this way when I'm chopping vegetables or cooking so there's that. Tree pose is all about balance, posture, and concentration. It's one pose I really need to work on since I do tend to lose my balance after a few seconds. I need to follow my instructor's advice and focus on a fixed point (called drishthe) which should help with this.

All in all, I've loved the first month of my yoga practice. I figured out what the intention of my practice is and found a class that works for me. I even own three pairs of yoga pants I don't sleep in! I feel like I'm improving; I'm able to hold poses for longer, am more aware of my breath in and out of class, and I was able to do more complex combinations of poses in my last class. I may not stay with the studio long term (yoga is expensive) but I feel like by the time I get to that point, I will be able to do the things I need to do at home without the heated studio but with the same intention in my practice.

One important observation: Even if I hadn't found my class and had given up after my month, I'm comforted by the idea that for 75 minutes 10-15 people in arguably one of the busiest, high stress regions in the country, come together and shut off their lives. For that time we are quiet and still (meaning not bustling about being busy). I'm fascinated by this idea and hold onto to it when I'm not in the studio and need a moment of calm.

*This song appeared on the band's debut album Everyone Else Is Doing It, So Why Can't We? which is the inspiration for this post's title. #90sgirl

Because cake and nachos

Something has happened to me that I never thought would happen.

I like going to the gym.

As I write this I'm still in my sweaty gym clothes from this morning's workout. Pumpkin is sitting on my lap like it's no big thing that I probably (most definitely) smell. She just wants attention. I have actively loathed the notion of going to the gym since I had middle and high school P.E. classes. I'm sure that there are good intentions behind gym class in school; teaching physical fitness and health should help make students make smart life choices. However, I'm convinced no one really sat down and thought about gym class all the way through. High school is terrible enough; why did they have to throw gym shorts and running into the mix? I didn't burn my gym uniform but I really enjoyed throwing it away. I was reflecting on one of the most ridiculous moments from middle school P.E. recently as I wrote a new chapter for my novel. I had to take dance classes in middle school P.E. I don't know if anyone else did this or remembers this (if you went to middle school with me) but I distinctly remember learning to waltz under the instruction of our teacher, Coach Martino, and having to perform in a "dance competition." My group had to do the twist. I recall that we added a smooth move where we did the twist and changed positions on the dance floor (aka the Lake Braddock gym) at the same time. I don't know why this was deemed something that 7th graders needed in to do in gym class but it was.

I've always been what one would call an "indoor kid." My favorite activities include reading, staying indoors, being sarcastic, and listening to music. I played softball for exactly one summer in the third grade and never made it very far in gymnastics because I had the habit of spraining my ankle every other week. I sunburn easily (I like to refer to it as lobstering) so outdoor team sports and running were never in my future. When I was in college, I did go to the Rec Plex (our recreation center) for awhile to use the indoor track but I always felt judged by the athletes and sporty people who ran the track rather than walking it like me. And then I got super busy working, going to class, and creating lots of really great theater. The gym and I parted ways amicably and I didn't give it much thought for lots of years.

Two years ago I invested in my first Fitbit, stopped drinking soda (or pop or Coke - fill in with your regional descriptor of choice), and started tracking what I eat and drink. I pledged to drink 64 ounces of water a day (if not more) and go to the gym four days a week (now I'm at five days a week). I obsessively log everything on the Fitbit app. I casually drop my gym habits into daily conversation. I make smoothies and think about protein a lot. I find myself thinking about my day in the context of my treadmill time; when I have to be at work earlier for some reason I plan my gym time a little differently. I take my gym clothes with me when I travel and make sure I have time in the morning to get my 45 minute walk in. I've worn through a second pair of tennis shoes in less than a year; that used to take me ages to do.

I was thinking about all of this earlier this week while I was traveling for work. I had to go to the mothership in Cincinnati for some meetings and to run a training so I brought my gym stuff with me. I've done this pretty regularly on trips for the last year or so; this was a short trip and normally I wouldn't bother on a short trip because of the extra packing space I'd need for my gear. But I did bring it all and when I mentioned that I would be going to the gym in the morning, my co-worker was surprised but in a good way. She brings her ukulele; I bring my gym clothes. After this conversation it dawned on me: I finally figured out how to enjoy going to the gym and exercising.

Here are my observations/realizations:

• Exercise should not be torture - you have to find something you love. I love walking and being indoors so using a treadmill or an elliptical (although not my favorite machine) makes sense for me. I still sweat and I feel it when I've pushed myself but I'm working out in a way that is comfortable and enjoyable for me. I'm in the process of looking for a quick arm workout for the days I don't go to the gym but feel like I should do something else.
• Distracting myself while working out is key. Reading and listening to music are two activities I love that also have the distinction of being activities that cause me to lose track of time when I'm doing them. I combined both with my gym time and now I don't even notice how long I've been working out. It's not until the 5 minute cool down clicks on that I realize I'm almost done with my workout.
• Sweat is awesome. It's good for your skin, gets the toxins out, and helps regulate your mood. I even read some articles on this from fitness websites and magazines - I went on fitness magazine websites. My skin looks great and I'm sure it's a combination of all the water I drink and the sweat. 
• Finding the right work out time makes all the difference. When I first started walking, I would go in the evening after work. Do you know how easy it is to talk yourself out of going to the gym after a long day at work? It's easier than easy so I switched to mornings. I naturally get up at 6 am anyway so that's my gym time. I think it's a perfect way to start my day.
• I like cake and nachos. I would rather eat nachos than drink a sugary, high calorie coffee beverage because nachos are delicious and are one more example of why cheese is a perfect food. I don't feel guilty about eating nachos anymore. Why? Because I'm active and I balance nachos with healthier choices. Tracking food has made me aware of what I need to eat and how much - it's not about denying myself things I enjoy. It's about enjoying them in appropriate portions.
• Accountability can't be understated. I know everyone has their own version of accountability: a workout buddy, your preferred fitness tracker or app, being able to wear those jeans you really love but aren't quite comfortable. For me, it's Fitbit. I compete with myself not with others on Fitibit (even though I do have friends on the app and I see where they are in the daily totals). Fitbit keeps me honest and is always there. I want to track my steps and log my food. I like the badges. I like the encouragement that isn't coming from an actual person.
• Which brings me to my last realization: this is for ME. When I was younger I probably worked out on occasion or tried to eat healthier because that's what you do when you want to be attractive to other people. Fitness and being healthy was about what others thought of me not what I thought of myself. Here's the thing: I legitimately don't care what people think about the way I look anymore. If they have a problem with my physical being, that's their issue not mine. I feel good, I look good, and it's all for me. 

I have a great sense of accomplishment with my walking especially given the fact that I have walked the distance of the March of the Penguins (70 miles), the Monarch butterfly migration (2500 miles, and my favorite the length of New Zealand (990 miles). As Fitbit so helpfully told me via email, I have walked the distance from the Shire to Mordor. If that doesn't make me want to walk more I don't know what will.

I don't want to dress up like a hipster

I knew that my love affair with Diet Coke was on its way to a full out break up when the first Taylor Swift Diet Coke commercial aired. Once the 22 year-olds start singing about being hipsters and hanging out all while drinking a frosty, delicious Diet Coke, you know that nothing will ever be the same again. I feel like Taylor Swift was sitting around one day in some adorable outfit trying to decide what words best described her latest romantic drama and she thought, "You know what? Diet Coke will never leave me or act like a jerk in public so I'll just write songs about how I feel when the caffeine kicks in and the bubbles get in my nose. But then I'll tell everyone it was about falling in love with that guy from that band everyone used to like (or actor that was in that famous movie). I'm a freaking genius."

Some people would just move on and continue enjoying Diet Coke. If they felt really strongly about Taylor's endorsement of Diet Coke maybe they'd switch to Diet Pepsi (if they like to make bad life choices) or maybe they switch to Tab (if they really miss the 1980s). Me, I quit drinking it entirely. Seemed like the right choice to make.

Obviously, this is a lie. Taylor Swift is not the reason I no longer drink Diet Coke. Interestingly enough, I did give this as a reason to one of my co-workers and he believed me. I'm not sure if that means that my co-worker is incredibly gullible or if he just thinks I'm the type of person that would give up soda entirely (not just Diet Coke) because a pop star I don't like endorsed the product. I'm not sure what that says about either of us.

Anyway, I decided to give up soda not too long after I purchased my Fitbit. I'm not what you would call athletic. The majority of my physical fitness comes from cleaning my apartment, dancing around my apartment, and occasional trips to the bowling alley. Or walking to Whole Foods to get a $9 salad for lunch. I'm more of an indoor kid; I like to read, watch movies, be creative, organize things. That's me. I do like to walk, especially outside, so the Fitbit appealed to me because it basically tracks steps. I walk so it's a natural fit. What I was unaware of until my friend told me was that I could also track my food and my sleep with a Fitbit. So it's not just a glorified pedometer. I took the plunge and bought my Flex in February.

And I immediately became obsessed.

The long and short of it is that the Fitbit is a fitness list. The tracker tracks my steps for me and allows me to see my progress day to day (and with lovely weekly reports). I enter my food on either the app or through the website. I track my food like a champ even if it's Twizzlers or that popcorn I had for dinner the other day. I can also add other activities to my log which increases my burned calories for the day. Did you know that shoveling snow burns 200 calories (on the low end) or that vacuuming burns 60? The sleep tracking is interesting too: I am a 98% efficient sleeper. I had a hard time believing this at first but it's been consistent since I got the Flex. More interesting is the fact that most of the times I wake up at night can be attributed to a certain feline that lives in my apartment. Having the Flex has made me more aware of what I do and what I eat. I also drink more water now than I probably have in my entire life. Thanks Fitbit.

This is my best day to date. I'm very proud of it.

I've tried other fitness apps before but have eventually lost interest. I think it's mostly because of the fact that they weren't tied to anything and didn't necessarily provide ways to really track what I was actually doing. I've also connected to several of my friends who have Fitbits. It's a nice encouraging community of people trying to be healthier. It's not really a competition. Really. I mean, I might occasionally think to myself that I want to "beat" one of them but it's all in fun. I also like that Fitbit sends me super encouraging emails and updates on my phone. It would be cool if Fitbit talked and if I could select the voice like on a GPS (I would select "attractive British guy"). That would make Fitbit even better. Oh and if it said things like, "You hit all your goals today. Go ahead and enjoy cupcake happy hour. You deserve it."

Since I bought Fitbit (I realize I'm referring to Fitbit as if it were a person - don't judge) I decided to make some other changes to go along tracking steps and water intake and sleep. Giving up soda was the biggest of these. I'm a fairly healthy eater (although I love cheese, nachos, and Twizzlers) but I do admit to having a soda problem. I never kept track but I probably drank more soda than a person should. I mostly stuck to diet but that doesn't really mean it was better for me. It's still chemicals and unnatural sweeteners so it can't be good. But, as we all know, it's delicious. A perfectly mixed fountain Diet Coke is so refreshing and wonderful. Add some Juan's Flying Burrito black bean and cheese nachos and you basically have the perfect meal. I thought I'd start small so I gave up soda for Lent. If I made it through forty days, I would give it up entirely. I succeeded - I haven't had a soda since March 5.

The first two weeks were the worst. I had occasional headaches which I attribute to my change in caffeine intake. I adjusted my coffee/tea drinking habits a bit and that took care of the headaches (not increasing just spacing out a little differently). I started drinking seltzer water for the bubbles and variety. I have a daily water goal and I usually go over the goal. There were two days that I really craved Diet Coke; I probably would have punched someone in the face if it meant that I could have one. But I did not punch anyone nor did I have a Diet Coke. I can do this.

The forty days of Lent have now turned into sixty-six days total. I have more energy which means I walk more (I'm up to around four miles at least three times a week). I meet my daily step goal of 10,000 steps more often. I don't get as annoyed with myself when I don't hit the goal. You have to take the good and the bad (as The Facts of Life tells us). I can honestly say I don't miss Diet Coke. We had a nice run but it's over.

So Taylor Swift, I give you Diet Coke. I hope you have a wonderful relationship and that Diet Coke treats you better than all the men in all of your songs. I hope when you dress like a hipster people take you seriously (especially the glasses). I hope Diet Coke makes you happy. Treat it well.

And I'm sure my comments have now secured me a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. At least Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will be there with me so I think we'll be good.

Marc Jacobs Diet Coke cans