Lazy Movie Weekend: It's as good as Dancing Queen

I have a very specific memory of my 18th birthday: I'm sitting in my bedroom in lovely Burke, VA writing in my journal (because that's what we all did) and listening to the song "Dancing Queen". I don't remember if this was later in the evening after celebrating or sometime during the day. I just remember sitting there listening to that song and thinking of one of my favorite movies Muriel's Wedding. At one point in the movie, Muriel says she hasn't listened to any ABBA songs because her life is as good as an ABBA; "It's as good as Dancing Queen." I guess that's what I was thinking about that day; one day my life would be as good as an ABBA song.

I've seen this movie a hundred (probably). It's not a completely happy rom-com but it's funny and dark and sad and genius all at the same time. This is one of my favorite Australian comedies followed closely by Strictly Ballroom. The 1990s were a prime time for Australian movies that didn't involve Baz Luhrmann. 

I just got back home from attending my cousin's beautiful wedding so I thought we'd spend this long, lazy movie weekend celebrating all things love and weddings with a trip back to 1994 and Muriel's adventures in Porpoise Spit, Australia. Grab your favorite girly drink, some wedding cake, and your best ABBA inspired dance moves and settle in for Muriel's Wedding.

• This was Rachel Griffiths first movie and Toni Collette's second. The movie was a huge international hit and would propel them both into larger roles and Hollywood fame.
• PJ Hogan, the film's director, had to beg the members of ABBA to allow the use of their music in the film. They agreed (for a share of the profits) and were pleasantly surprised when the film was so successful. Muriel's Wedding is the reason the musical Mamma Mia!, the Broadway musical (and it's sad film sister) exist. 
• The movie is #911 on Steven Schneider's 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.
• Let's talk about the opening sequence at the wedding - that is my nightmare. All the single women going crazy at the thought of catching the bouquet so they can be "next." It's one of those scenes that reminds us all about how ridiculous some traditions are and how primal women can be. Thank you to all my friends who have gotten married and not done this at the reception. Your resident single friend appreciates it more than you know. 
  
• Muriel's "friends" are the absolute worst - apparently it's a rule that in every rom-com there has to be a group of women who are terrible. I'll refer to this group as the "Aussie Plastics" for the rest of this post (Means Girls will be a future LMW. I promise.)
• Those bridesmaids dresses - the color, the poof, the bow, the headpiece. Bridesmaids dresses are just mean.
• Why would you waste cake by putting it under your pillow to dream of the man you're going to marry? My future husband would know (instinctually, of course) that we don't waste cake like this. Cake is for enjoying not for napping on.
• Someone is a bad bridesmaid and an even worse husband. Now Muriel has secrets. 
• Are store detectives a thing? Does anyone know a store detective? I'd really like to meet one.
• Just remember, Porpoise Spit is the jewel of the North Coast.
• "You're terrible, Muriel." Muriel's sister, Joanie. The Heslop family is a lot to take in. The horrible dad (played by the brilliant Bill Hunter), the sad mom, the laziest children ever. This is why Muriel listens to ABBA songs.
• "Bill Heslop - You Can't Stop Progress" Joanie: He lost. It's so funny.
• F-ing Deidre Chambers - that's how I refer to this woman every time she's on screen. Her geisha comment is one of the worst casually racist comments in the entire film (and there are several).
• I hate the scene at Breakers (the most cliched beach bar name ever). It's funny on some levels ("Like Chuck. He's up on my level.") but so soul-crushing on others. "I'm know I'm not normal..." and Muriel shouting "I'm not nothing!" - this is a darker rom-com than most. We haven't gotten to the plot line involving cancer yet.
• "I'm going to be a success, Mum. I'm going to get married and be a success." I don't like this definition of success but I'm saying it in my head as I type in an Australian accent. 
• My second nightmare: all inclusive resort trips. Mandatory fun at it's worst but Muriel seems to be having a great time. 
• Finally we meet Rhonda (Rachel Griffiths). She is the cool friend everyone needs in their life. She's a badass, super fun, and does not give any effs about the Aussie Plastics. It's genius. "You're wicked!" 
• "I'm not alone. I'm with Muriel." Love it!
• That "Waterloo" lip sync is amazing. I'm hopeful that the show Lip Sync Battle will get Toni and Rachel to come on and recreate this amazing moment. Someone should call them and make this happen.
  
•  Muriel: Do you ever think you're nothing? Sometimes I think I'm nothing. Rhonda: You're not nothing, Muriel. You're amazing. Of course this is followed by Rhonda talking about how awesome it is that Muriel has a fiancee, Tim Sims (fake of course). His name is based on two popular snacks in Australia, Tim Tams and Dim Sims.
• Is Sydney really the City of Brides?
• Muriel's haircut is one of my favorite things in the movie. The power of a flattering haircut cannot be overstated. 
• Poor Brice. Muriel should have given him more of chance. "I'm a terrible dancer." We all are, Brice. We all are.
• I'm fairly certain we've all had nights/dates like Muriel and Brice's minus the cancer, naked American soldier, and broken window. I don't know everyone's life so maybe this is exactly how your Friday nights go down. The thought I always have during this sequence is that Rhonda and Muriel need real furniture in their living room.
• Rhonda is rushed to the hospital and Muriel calls home to find out that they know she stole all their money. "Dr. Farrell says he needs a holiday from us." Muriel's mom, Betty, tells her.
• So if you best friend is in the hospital and has to have surgery to remove a discreet tumor from her spine and your family is a mess, what do you do? If you're Muriel you try on every wedding dress in Sydney and tell lies to get the sales girls to take photos of you in them so you can take the photos to your sister who's in a coma. Seems legit.
• Muriel's pep talk to Rhonda: "When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen."
• Of course Rhonda finds out about the wedding dresses and that Tim Sims was fake. Muriel is basically all of us when it comes to be single and hating it: "If I can get married it means I've changed. I'm a new person." 
• F-ing Deidre Chambers. Seriously this woman. Bill Heslop cannot help himself with embarrassing restaurant business meetings.
• Muriel's second way of dealing with problems: Enter into a marriage of convenience with a South African swimmer with Olympic hopes who needs an Australian wife to qualify for the team. As one does. She also reverts to listening to "Dancing Queen" again so maybe her life isn't as good anymore.
• Mariel's Wedding (did I mention she changed her name?): So many things...
• The Aussie Plastics are back as bridesmaids, looking like peach tulle nightmares.
• F-ing Deidre Chambers is apparently Muriel's mom now.
• Muriel's mom barely makes it to the wedding and Muriel ignores her (not intentionally).
• Poor Brice ends up attending for some unknown, masochistic reason.
• "Mariel, you're beautiful." - Tania (Aussie Plastic)
• "I Do, I Do, I Do" is her entrance music - perfect. I would probably do something like this if I ever got married.
•  David's coach, "I should have hired you some friends." 
  
•  Friend breakups are the worst thing in the world. Rhonda sums it up perfectly, "Mariel VanArckle stinks."
• David is an interesting character. He judges Muriel so much for wanting to do the same thing he wants to do: win. The problem is that she believes she can win only if she's married. Someone needs to sit Muriel down and talk about life choices. 
• Muriel's mom makes my heart sad. She deserved a lot more than her husband and most of her children gave her. Joanie's grief is so powerful. Her father is terrible and that stupid letter from a former Prime Minister is the worst. 
• Muriel finally realizes it's not about being married but about being her - her awesome self. David also shows up too and that's not awkward at all. "I don't love you either but I think I could like having you around."
• She finally tells her dad what's what and it's a great scene between the two of them in the burned up backyard. "We're not nothing." 
• The final scene with the Aussie Plastics and Rhonda's mom is one of my favorites in the movie. Tania screams, "I'm married. I'm beautiful!" and you have to laugh. Muriel and Rhonda say goodbye to Porpoise Spit as they should. The only question I have is did Rhonda's mom send her all her stuff? Is that how it all worked in the end.

I love this movie for so many reasons. Muriel is us all; looking for her place in the world and trying to figure out who she is. I like knowing that Toni Collette and Rachel Griffiths became friends during filming; you can see their actual friendship on screen. It's the best part of the entire movie. Muriel is amazing; she just has to figure that out for herself.

In need of more wedding movies for your long weekend? Here are few more of my favorites:

• Bridesmaids
• Monsoon Wedding
• The Wedding Planner
• Corpse Bride 
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding
• Mystic Pizza
• The Wedding Singer
• Rachel Getting Married
• Mamma Mia! -  I can't help but love this movie. Pierce Brosnan should never, ever sing but I will listen to him sing "S.O.S" in this movie and love it every time.

Images:
1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die
Promo Poster
Waterloo
Muriel at the wedding
Muriel's Wedding 
Muriel

The UT Recipes: Strawberry Graham Cracker Cake

Back in March I shared my discovery of an old recipe book at an Austin vintage store. In the first post, I made Pistachio Swirl cake (huge hit) and Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies (good but maybe not something I make again right away). I asked for votes as to which recipe I would make next. Since there was no clear winner, I've decided to make all of the other recipes over the course of the next few months. April's recipe: Strawberry Graham Cracker Cake.

This is one of those recipes I assumed would be easy to make. When I first glanced at the recipe, it looked like everything was in order and it would be quick and simple to knock this one out. Upon closer inspection, several "challenges" immediately presented themselves:

1. In the cake recipe, there is an ingredient missing. It says (in very neat handwriting) "1 teaspoon" but then it's blank. 
2. The frosting recipe is missing measurements.
3. There are no strawberries anywhere but in the title of the recipe. They're not listed as ingredients nor are they listed in the instructions of the either the cake or frosting recipe.

Since I bake cakes often enough, I'm pretty sure that I know the solutions to these challenges: the mystery ingredient is probably vanilla, the measurements are cups, and the strawberries are meant to be decorative. Since I like baking for its preciseness, I decided to do some research to confirm my solutions before starting the cake. Graham cracker cakes were a popular dessert in the late 1960s/early 1970s so I was able to find references to recipes that might have inspired the one in the UT Book. Several graham cracker cake recipes (after shifting through hundreds of no-bake and pie recipes) supported my thought that the missing cake ingredient was either vanilla. This recipe is closest to the UT Book recipe so I've decided vanilla is my mystery ingredient. My mother also shared my grandmother's recipe with me; it's her favorite cake but I don't believe I've ever tried it before. It's different from the UT Book recipe since there's flour and shortening in it. It does include vanilla so even though it's not similar it does support my vanilla theory. Now that I have it, I plan to try it at some point in the future too.

As for the frosting, I found lots of whipped cream frosting recipes including one from my own recipe book and they're all pretty similar; ultimately it depends on how "sturdy" you want your frosting. Whipped cream frosting is fairly light and airy (like whipped cream) but it melts quickly and has to be refrigerated until the point of serving. I decided to combine the UT Book recipe with a recipe I found online for a sturdier frosting since I took the cake into work. I like cream cheese based frostings; they're easier to work with and add a layer of flavor that I find complimentary to most cakes.

Final challenge: the strawberries. In looking through recipes for no-bake and pies that use graham crackers, it's pretty clear that the strawberries are for decoration or layering. I decided to incorporate the strawberries into the frosting and use sliced strawberries for the decoration. I'm not a huge improviser when it comes to baking (that's why I like it so much) but I think my choices with the strawberries were the correct ones to make.

Recipe-wise, this one is pretty easy. The "hardest" part of it was crushing the graham crackers; I could have used my food processor to complete this task but crushing them with a meat tenderizer was way more satisfying. Rage baking is a thing after all. I opted to make the cake into two 8 inch pans versus the 4 the UT recipes called four. I don't think such thin cakes would have held up. This created a denser cake but was more in line with the "modern" interpretations of the recipe I found online. The frosting was a breeze to make and delicious. It would be great over angel food cake or something equally as light. I don't know that the vanilla made a difference. There was a hint of vanilla flavor in the finished product but it's difficult to say if that was the extract or the vanilla used in the graham crackers themselves.

My co-workers had pretty consistent reactions to the cake: it's not bad but it's not something they'd think to make or request again. One suggested more graham crackers; she didn't feel it was graham-y enough. Several commented on how dense the cake was but also how airy it actually tasted so that's kind of fun. Jordana would like me to make it again but as a s'mores cake - the filling would be marshmallow fluff and the icing would be chocolate or fudge. This is definitely a possibility. A few people were not pleased with the inclusion of cream cheese in the frosting BUT admitted they really couldn't tell once they tried it. The strawberries were a hit both in the frosting and as decoration. We're all still trying to figure out why the name of the recipe included strawberries but there were zero strawberries in the actual recipe. Somethings will remain a mystery with these recipes.

Overall score for this recipe: B+

I'd make it again but not in the current format and probably only if someone requested it. I'm more inclined to try my grandmother's recipe than return to this one. However, if you want to get out some aggression beat up some graham crackers with a meat tenderizer. You'll feel better when you're done.

May's UT Recipe post will feature a pretty controversial ingredient: tomato soup. In a cake. I have no idea how this one will go but I can't wait to find out. Coming to the Island in mid-May!

Heirloom Tomatoes, Creamsicle Cakes, and Rage

I made a deal with myself when I came back from California that I would cook more and try some new recipes I've been saving. I do this all the time; I find recipes and then I never make them. For whatever reason, this promise made me think of a story from my childhood. I have no actual memory of this event. It's just what my family has recounted. Over and over and over again. It goes like this:

I used to rock hats pretty regularly.

When I was around 4 or 5, my Grandpa K (my mom's dad; K is for Korzeniowski) ended up babysitting me one day. I'm sure this was not on his list of favorite activities but he did it because that's what grandpas do. He was a quiet man; later in life he would inexplicably become a raging country music fan and do a daily crossword puzzle to keep his mind sharp (two things I also love). He also had the most amazing head of hair; not a hint of gray even when he was in his 80s. I wish I could say the same thing about my own hair. Anyway, he had to watch me the whole day so that meant he had to make me lunch. I assume I also took a nap at some point and played in the backyard (making mudpies, a hobby of mine at the time). Later on my mom asked me about my day with grandpa. I told her grandpa fed me dog food.

My mother loves telling this story, particularly the part about the dog food. My grandpa did not feed me dog food; he fed me chili but my 5 year old self saw dog food. However, I ate it and didn't question his choices which says something about our relationship. I had probably never had chili before. How would I know? If I ever get married, my mother will tell this story at my wedding.

I've never enjoyed cooking. I can cook and am pretty good at it as long as there's a recipe or it's something I've made a million times. I'm not saying the dog food/chili incident has anything to do with my cooking habits but it's a funny story to tell when I think about food and cooking. When you're single and don't have roommates, cooking is not as easy or as much fun. You either have to make sad meals for one, figure out how to cut recipes without losing the taste, or resign yourself to eating the same thing for days. Freezing leftovers is an option but I always forget about them and end up of throwing too much food away. Wasteful.

However, I need to challenge myself in this area. There is no reason to eat frozen food or eggs or cereal for dinner (at least not all the time). I am capable of making a homemade creamsicle cake so
clearly I can get more inventive in the kitchen. I decided to start simply with a recipe that involves virtually no cooking but would require me to do two things I'm not particularly fond of doing:

1. Use a food processor. My food processor and I have a hate/hate relationship for no apparent reason.
2. Go to a farmers' market on a Saturday.

I know, I know. I'm a white woman in my thirties who lives in a quasi-urban area. Farmers' markets are supposed to be my thing like fancy coffee and wearing yoga pants as real pants. I like supporting local farmers and other small businesses. I enjoy buying delicious sourdough bread from this one baker because it reminds me of the delicious bread I used to buy at the Oakland Famers' Market. The cucumbers and peaches I bought on this trip were some of the best I have had this summer and the grape tomatoes were the definition of perfection. The flower guys are the best; this time around I got a crab dip recipe, pointers for how to store the baguette I purchased if I wasn't going to eat it right away, and a beautiful sunflower that is still alive a week later.

I go to the market in Old Town Alexandria. I've been going for years so I'm familiar with the layout and most of the farmers and vendors who come out weekly. I don't go every week; maybe once a month. I still get a little overwhelmed at the sheer volume of things for sale (it all looks so delicious) and I feel a tad guilty that I can't buy something from everyone but such is life. This is not what I don't like about farmers' markets. No, what gets me about the market is the other people. Not the regulars who know what they're shopping for and who walk with purpose around Market Square. It's the amblers, the stop in the middle of the flow of traffic-ers, and the people with insanely large baby carriages that drive me into a rage. There is not enough room for this kind of nonsense. By all means bring your children, but don't bring a small car. If you don't know where something is, step to the side so others can get by you. These are the people that make me unleash my inner Miranda Priestly. All I want is heirloom tomatoes and you are in the way.

I don't normally buy heirloom tomatoes (scratch that, I have never bought heirloom tomatoes) but I wanted them for this very simple, no cook recipe featuring heirloom tomatoes, avocado, red onion, french bread, garlic, and cheese. Basically everything that is good and delicious in life. The only things I had to make were the herb dressing (Erin-1, Food Processor-0) and roasted garlic olive oil. To get to the heirloom tomatoes I had to dodge two large baby carriages (with super cute babies so there's a positive), an ambler, a couple in matching workout clothes who were criticizing people for not bringing their own bags, and a trio of young women, sipping coffee and stopping every five seconds to complain about their other friend who stood them up that morning. They're the ones that stopped in front of the tomatoes. Yes, I asked them to move. Politely. Did they listen? After the third request. One of them rolled her eyes at me. Youths.

Did I have to go to the farmers' market? No, but I wanted to. There was something about this meal that made me want to go there. I wanted to have the full experience of talking with the people who grow the vegetables and watching people buy unnecessary items and discuss the price of eggs with some random guy selling them from a card table. I wanted to see other people get exasperated with the amblers and baby carriages and get recipe tips from the flower guy. That's so much more summery and fun than going to the grocery.

I truly believe that I'm turning into the little old lady I will be one day faster and faster every day. If it's not old lady concert rules, it's dealing with the youths at the farmers' market or questioning the choices of a person who crosses a busy street while texting. I don't mean to be a curmudgeon but sometimes I can't help myself. 

I started my week with heirloom tomatoes and home infused olive oil and ended it with a simple dish my mom told me about, another Grandpa K original: cottage cheese, onions, and pasta. Easy, simple, and surprisingly delicious.

Glacial Pace meme

Birthdays should never be on a Monday

Here is why:

• No one likes Monday. It's a fact (and if you do, there is something wrong with you). The euphoria of the weekend has worn off and you're spending most of the day dealing with being back at work or school or whatever you do with your time. Birthdays should not be a part of that.
• There is absolutely nothing fun about Monday. It's not even fun to say.
• The line at the coffee shop is always longer on a Monday.
• The only holidays that consistently take place on Mondays are federal holidays. That means that people will associate your birthday with discounts on furniture and cars. Also, not everyone gets to take every federal holiday off so there's always a little resentment associated with holidays on a Monday. And yes, I know that a birthday is not an actual holiday but it is the one day of the year that people celebrate you and your birth so it's like a mini-holiday.
• More traffic. People don't typically telecommute on Mondays so everyone is driving to work or taking public transportation. I spent most of today's commute behind a bus.
• I have awesome co-workers who planned to have lunch with me today but normally no one wants to take a lunch break on Monday because we all have too much to do.
• If you wanted to go out and really celebrate (you know, with adult beverages and staying up late enough to watch The Daily Show), it's a school night so you really can't. I have an 8 am training tomorrow morning that I have to drive an hour or so to get to so no late night out for me.

Since today is my birthday and it's Monday (stupid leap year) I've planned an appropriate celebration  - work, Indian take out, and the premiere of the new Amy Sherman-Palladino show Bunheads on ABC Family. I can only assume that Ms. Sherman-Palladino timed this show to premiere today as a birthday present to me. Gilmore Girls will always be my favorite but I'm hopeful that Bunheads will fill the void that was left when the magic of Stars Hollow ended.

I share a birthday with Jacques Cousteau, William Styron, Gene Wilder, Joe Montana, and PETER DINKLAGE! That last one had to be in all caps and I don't even watch Game of Thrones.

I'm also going to pretend that today is Tuesday. I can do this because it's my birthday and that's how birthday magic works. I'll still recognize tomorrow as Tuesday; I'm just going to call it Tuesday, part 2.

Today is also:

• Kamehameha Day - celebrates the unification of the Hawaiian Islands by King Kamehameha. When I lived in Hawaii I pretended that the parades were for me. No, I was not 10 (I was in my 20s).
• Hug Day - apparently we need 4 hugs to survive, 8 for maintenance, and 12 for survival (per day)
• Asparagus Day
• Dirty Book Day
• German Chocolate Cake Day
• Triple Crown Day

If today is your birthday too, I hope you're having a wonderful and magical day!

My horoscope for the day. Hmmm....