Stuff I Love: How to Dress Like a Woman

Ladies, I don't know about you but I honestly don't remember the day in school where they taught us how to dress like a woman. I recall the incredibly awkward day where all of us girls got to learn about getting our periods and feminine hygiene products (but not about how much money we'd have to spend on said products). If my memory is serving me properly, there was definitely a terrible video about the joys of being a woman and how our periods make us special or some such nonsense. I definitely remember sex ed class in high school. My health teacher was really excited when two of us, me being one of the two, got perfect scores on the test about pregnancy. Her exclamation, "You got a perfect score on your pregnancy test," still haunts me.

But I can't recall dress like a woman class. I would think if something was this important, so important that our president has issued some nonsense "decree" about women visiting the White House needing to dress like women, I would have learned about it in school. Right? Isn't that how this works? We weren't as concerned about grizzly bears roaming the halls back then so I would think my public school could have added "dress like a woman" classes. Thanks for nothing high school.

Most of my fashion choices come from one of following sources of inspiration:

• 80s and 90s teen movies (still even all this time later) and sometimes tv shows
• Rock stars I like
• Costume design reference books
• The children's section at Old Navy. For the patterns - seriously why don't they make an adult version of the dragonfly shirt? Am I the only one that feels this way? Don't answer that.

I'm not joking or trying to be cute. Most of my fashion inspiration does come from the movies. I think I speak for many women out there who grew up in the 1990s that I still crave Cher's closet from Clueless despite the fact that none of those clothes are right for me. My mother occasionally reminds me what a willful child I was when it came to wearing dresses, pink, and changing clothes multiple times a day. Mom, I'm sorry. Figuring out your personal style and the sort of statement you want to make with clothing takes a long time to accomplish. It's takes a lot of trial and error. It takes a lot of embarrassing combinations of oversized sweaters and stirrup pants (it's was the late 1980s). And it takes a lot of inspiration.

Continuing with Stuff I Love, let's grab some popcorn and a glass of your favorite movie-watching wine and settle in for a little fashion inspiration with from some of my favorite movie ladies who, in their own unique ways, taught me how to dress like a woman.

1. Andie in Pretty In Pink (1986): I have very strong opinions about the prom dress in this movie; most people who have seen this movie have very strong opinions on that dress. Even Ringwald hated it but it works in the context of the movie. What I love about Andie is her sense of self within her clothes. Her look was modern and retro at the same time; that's something I love to do myself. I can trace my love of thrift store sweaters to Andie. My favorite outfit was the gray one she wore on her first date with Blaine. I always thought she looked so sophisticated and very unlike any teenager I knew. She was who she was and her clothes helped tell that story...even that terrible prom dress. Pretty in Pink turned 30 last year and there was a great article about the costumes from the designer that I enjoyed very much. What's interesting about the movie is that if you look at it today, so many of the fashions are back. It's timeless in a way I don't think anyone ever thought it would be.
   
2. Jo Stockton in Funny Face (1957): I love this movie so much! It's a fashion movie wrapped around a mildly awkward love story between Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire set in a very hazy/dreamy 1950s Paris. What could be better?! Hepburn plays Jo, a bookstore clerk who is "discovered" by fashion photographer Dick Avery (Astaire) and becomes the new face of Quality magazine. The magazine whisks her off to Paris to launch spring fashions and we are treated to a fantastic fashion photo montage in front of the sights in Paris. Jo wants nothing to do with fashion but wants to go to Paris to meet her favorite philosopher and wear cigarette pants and dance tables in a jazz club (as one does). My favorite moment of the movie is when she's helping Dick set up one of the shots on the steps of the opera. It's so good. Audrey teaches us all many things when it comes to fashion but for me, this movie is really about taking a risk. Jo could have stayed a bookstore clerk but she took a chance with fashion and found something new. You literally never know where you clothes might take you.
   
3. Elle Woods in Legally Blonde (2001): We can learn much from Elle Woods: that you can never wear enough pink, sparkly bikinis are the law school admissions applicant must-have, the rules of hair care, how to be a true friend. As I've discussed previously, Elle is the perfect heroine to have as you approach adulthood. She's smart (although no one thinks so), she's kind, she goes after what she wants (even if originally it's just a dude who doesn't deserve her), and she knows how to get stuff done. Fashion-wise, Elle Woods and I could not be further from one another but what we share is the idea that fashion should empower you. Your clothes shouldn't be a hindrance or an afterthought. Women in positions of power, whatever those positions might be, embrace this idea. Look at someone like Michelle Obama; she used fashion so well while First Lady. She conveyed elegance, power, femininity, strength, and killer arms over and over again. She curated her fashion smartly just as Elle does throughout the movie. You don't have to wear that much pink to learn from Elle.
   
4. Allison Reynolds in The Breakfast Club (1985): Allison's transformation at the end of The Breakfast Club is the kind of movie moment that elicits very strong opinions from viewers years after watching the movie. Allison goes from the weird girl with "all that shit under your eyes" (eyeliner) to a mini-me version of Claire (Molly Ringwald) in what seems like only minutes. When I was younger, I was disappointed in Allison's makeover but I also understood why she did it. High school sucks, even if you enjoyed your experience. That's how I originally viewed Allison's makeover; a way to deal with the fact that high school sucks and she wanted it to suck a little less. I didn't love her motivation but I understood it. As I've gotten older and "wiser," I've re-watched the movie a few times and my opinion has changed again. I don't necessarily think Allison was dealing with the fact that high school sucks and she wanted to fit in a bit more. It was about trying on different personas as part of figuring out who she actually is. That's a huge part of growing up. Even if I didn't realize it when I originally watched the movie, Allison inspired me to do the same. I went through so many fashion phases in my youth: semi-goth, hippie flower child, trying too hard preppie, wearing too many floral patterns girl to get myself to where my fashion life resides today (a quirky librarian with mild punk undertones and a love of whimsical patterns). Maybe the following Monday, Allison reverts back to her original style of clothing. Maybe she figures out how to combine her style and Claire's style into one wonderful statement. Maybe she does something completely different. That is the best part of fashion: you can do whatever you want.
   
5. Marcy in The Matchmaker (1997): I love Janeane Garofalo. She's hilarious and talented and feminist and awesome. She was the best part of Reality Bites and made Mystery Men the delight that it is. My favorite of her movies from the late 90s will always be The Matchmaker. Marcy was everything I aspired to be as an adult (I was 17 in 1997): independent, funny, adorable, fashionable, and she had super cool job. She also got to go to Ireland by herself. This was all very exciting to me. Also, she eventually falls in love with a handsome and sort of dorky Irish guy; basically my romantic life goal. But it's her clothes that I love. I will always love the fashion of the 1990s. I'd sing "I Will Always Love You" to the fashion of the 1990s if that was something I could do. I love chunky shoes, skirt or dress with tights combos, awesome coats and jackets, vintage/thrift store chic. I still dress with these elements in my wardrobe because true love never dies. Marcy epitomizes this entire decade in one movie. I wanted that brownish/reddish (is it burgundy?) coat she wears on the ferry with Sean. I craved the dress she wears when stomping on the rental car. She wears scarves like a champ. Marcy was adulthood and independence and occasional poor choices all rolled into one. Every time I put on my three favorite skirts (two are striped, one is black) with brightly colored or black tights and throw on some chunky heels, I feel like Marcy. I also feel so very Mary Tyler Moore. 
   
6. Louise Bryant in Reds (1982): Valentine's Day is right around the corner. I'm not a huge fan of this holiday but my personal V-Day tradition is to watch Warren Beatty's sweeping epic, Reds. While it is a film about John Reed, the journalist who wrote Ten Days That Shook the World, it's also a movie about the love affair between Reed and Louise Bryant, also a journalist, that unfolds against the backdrop of the Russian Revolution. The movie is gorgeous to watch; the sets, the costumes, the story. Every piece of it works to form the story. The cast is stellar and I can't help but fall into the world of Reed and Bryant each time I watch it. Diane Keaton is stunning as Louise Bryant; she takes up so much space in every scene she's in I'm surprised other actors could handle it (but it's because they're all so good). Bryant was not always well liked in the circles she and Reed ran in; some felt she was no one or attaching herself to his fame but she had her own career and her own successes as a journalist. I have zero desire to wear the fashions of early 1900s but I can appreciate how Keaton's Bryant does. What I gained from her in this film is that confidence; you wear that fur coat and you wear it like a boss. That's how a woman dresses.
   
7. Dinky Bossetti in Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael (1990): Everyone has their favorite Winona Ryder movie; mine is Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael. This movie is after Heathers and Beetlejuice but before Mermaids, Edward Scissorhands, and Reality Bites. Heathers is my second favorite but there's something about Dinky that wins over Veronica Sawyer every day of the week. Since I'm sure most people have forgotten this little gem, a quick summary: Dinky is your typical movie loner. She doesn't quite fit in her small town or her high school. She's adopted and she begins to believe that she's the secret child of a woman named Roxy Carmichael, who left town 15 years ago to become a movie star. Roxy announces she's coming back to town and Dinky sets out to prove Roxy is her mother. You can fill in the gaps with what happens next (or find it somewhere to watch; it's not on Netflix). Anyway, Dinky dresses exactly like I dressed in high school (for most of high school): oversized sweaters, weird shirts, and the same black shoes. Dinky didn't teach me to enjoy the comforts of baggy clothes. (PS: Baggy clothes are not the answer. They don't hide things, they make you look larger. Wear something form fitting but not tight that plays to your assets to truly feel comfortable. It took me a very long time to figure this one out.) She taught me about contrasts. Towards the end of the movie, Dinky dons a bubblegum pink dress and combat boots. It's so good. It's girly and feminine but also edgy and totally her. This where I learned to combine heavy boots with a whimsically patterned sweater or a breezy summer dress with a structured jacket (although I don't wear this anymore because I can't find a jacket I enjoy much). This is probably the fashion lesson I've carried with me the longest. All from a forgotten Winona Ryder movie. 

There is no one way to dress like a woman. One of the reasons I like fashion is because of its ability to push boundaries when it comes to personal expression. Clothes say a lot about a person whether they spend time thinking about it or now. I invest a lot of time into what I wear because I want to. It's not for anyone but me. If I spent time thinking about dressing for other people I'd never leave my house and most of my closet would be Spanx. I have zero for time for that. So whether it's my classic black skirt/purple tights combo, my unintentional Freddy Krueger sweater, or yoga pants, when I get dressed each day I know I'm dressing like me.

Pretty In Pink
Funny Face
Legally Blonde 
The Breakfast Club
The Matchmaker 
Reds
Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael

Lazy Movie Weekend: Claire did it.

Like Samantha Baker, the heroine of 1984's Sixteen Candles, I can remember a lot of things. Birthdays, family vacations, what my friends wore on dates so they wouldn't repeat an outfit, quotes from every movie I've every watched - you know, important things. However, one thing that I can't remember, at least not in any grand amount of detail, is the first time I watched The Breakfast Club. Arguably one of the most significant teen focused movies of all time, The Breakfast Club was released in theaters when I was 6 years old (1985) so I was not a first generation Brat Pack/John Hughes fan. I was a child of the late 80s/early 90s; I watched the movie for the first time on a VHS tape at someone's house at some point before the 8th grade. That's all I remember from an event/location perspective.

What I do remember from that first viewing is the actual movie and how it became an obsession of mine immediately following that experience. I have probably seen The Breakfast Club over 200 hundred times (probably a low estimation). I have owned it on VHS and DVD (two copies because I wore on of them out). I have the soundtrack on cassette tape and CD and it's in my iTunes library as we speak. I know the movie by heart, including most of the songs, and occasionally find myself quoting it just because. I listen to the song "Don't You (Forget About Me)" multiple times in a week, sometimes multiple times in a day. I've read books about the film and John Hughes and written by the cast members (Ally Sheedy and Molly Ringwald primarily). I've even been to the high school that was used for filming and the one that gave the movie it's name (perk of my training job). I may have gotten all teared up with the movie and the song were used in Pitch Perfect. I wrote a post for this blog about my ideal fan conferences one of which focused on John Hughes movies and meeting Molly Ringwald. I guess this means I'm a super fan.

All of my friends know of my obsession and have to some degree, participated in it over the years. Whether it was simply watching it with me again (thanks Heather and Kelly) or putting up with my need to put "Don't You (Forget About Me)" one every mix tape I make (everyone I have ever made a mix tape for), they've been supportive and a bit indulgent. That's what friends are for I guess. And thanks to Anita, I have now seen the movie in a movie theater like God and John Hughes intended me to. You see, it's the 30th anniversary of The Breakfast Club. How do we celebrate such significant events? By going to a Fathom Events special screening of the movie with other super fans. Anita was kind enough to not punch me as I quoted the majority of the movie. This is a mark of true friendship.

This was my first time attending a Fathom Events movie screening. With regular films, there's always a bonus of some form and for this screening of The Breakfast Club it came in the form a special anniversary feature preceding the film. This included actors from the film like Ally Sheedy, Judd Nelson (looking very 2015 New Jack City), Anthony Michael Hall, and John Kapelos who played Carl (and who is awesome). Also featured were screenwriter Diablo Cody and author Hank Stuever. If you haven't read his book Off Ramp, I suggest you do so after finishing this post. It's a favorite of mine. There were also some other "authorities" on pop culture and 80s movies (why isn't this my job?). Anyway, one of the topics of discussion was the transformation of Sheedy's character at the end of the film. I have a lot of opinions on this particular topic; probably as many as I have about that horrible dress at the end of Pretty in Pink.

Sheedy's character, Allison, is the weirdo of the detention group. She doesn't speak for the first 39 minutes of the movie and she does things like use her dandruff (Parmesan cheese by the way) to decorate an intricate sketch she's drawn on the library table. She also eats a sandwich comprised of white bread, mayo, Cap'n Crunch, and Pixie sticks. Eventually, she does talk and we find out that her parents ignore her and that she's a compulsive liar. We all knew an Allison in high school (or were Allison in high school to some degree). She's pretty but is not the teenage ideal when it comes to fashion or beauty and she doesn't really care. Allison is the only one of the group that is comfortable with who she is before coming into detention even if her home life is "unsatisfying" as she describes it to Andrew.

By contrast, Claire is the princess, the most popular girl in school. She is pretty, fashionably dressed, her makeup is impeccable, and she is what high school guys want (at least in 1980s teen movie standards). By the end of the movie, the characters have fulfilled their duties as the stereotype/archetype they are representing but have also come to realize that those roles are stupid and unnecessary. As the day winds down, new friendships have been formed (maybe they'll hang out on Monday) and two possible couples emerge. The other thing that you should notice at the end is that Claire begins to orchestrate the end of the day from getting Brian to write the paper for everyone to surprising Bender with a kiss. She knows Brian is the smartest and that Bender got her in some way and she has to admit that in order to actually learn anything from the experiences of the day. That brings us to Allison's makeover.

I've always been torn about this part of the movie. If you look at this moment on the surface level, it seems wrong. It's like Allison changes to fit into a cooler clique at school. She becomes a mini-Claire "without all that black shit under your eyes" and Andrew has a reaction to her new look that is very sweet and endearing. She is still defensive in this first moments with her new look but still her; she steals his patch, she gets a little tense when Andrew says she looks different, almost like she's going to lash out at him for saying something bad about her. She even says "Claire did it" as a way to justify the new look. In the pre-movie feature, Diablo Cody takes this argument and expresses her dislike for Allison's transformation. Up until a few years ago, I would have agreed. I always thought that Allison sold out at the end, that she conformed.

But I don't believe that anymore. If you think about the movie as a whole each character has created some form of mask or armor for themselves so that they can get through high school and move on with their lives. Bender is angry and defiant, Brian is the smartest kid in school, Andrew chooses to be whoever his family says he should be, Claire is perfect, and Allison is a mute weirdo. Their clothes, makeup (for the girls), and body language speak to this throughout the movie. It's only through their realization that they're not that different from one another that they shed these masks/armor. Allison reminds me of the work of the artist Mickalene Thomas. I discovered Thomas during my docent training this summer. Her work focuses on ideas of female identity and beauty, specifically for African-American women. What reminded me of Thomas during my recent re-watching of The Breakfast Club is this quote of hers about her work with rhinestones:

"I feel like the rhinestones in my paintings are like that really glossy lipstick that women wear. It's another level of masking, of dressing up."

I think for Allison the makeover is just that - dressing up. She's trying on a new persona, a new look as teenagers often do. We all went through phases growing up and maybe we still go through them as adults. We have to try on different looks and ideas to find the things that we truly believe in and that express who we are as a person. Now I like to think about Allison's makeover as just a part of her evolution as a person. Maybe in a few months she realizes she really misses all that black eye makeup and she brings it back. Maybe she decides pastels are really her thing. Maybe she throws all of that out the window and figures out her new look. Allison is not less Allison because Claire softened her eyeliner and brushed her hair. I think she's more herself at the end of the movie because she found her voice. She can wear a ton of eyeliner or a hairband and a pink shirt. That doesn't change who she is.

I leave you with this:

Claire & Allison image
Allison - Before & After image
Video clip from YouTube

Pretty in Pink

I've often wondered what it would be like to meet one of my idols. I have many: writers, political figures, teachers, and of course, movie stars. Many of my celebrity idols are actresses from 80s movies and punk/glam musicians from the 70s and 80s. If I had to narrow it down, I'd say that Molly Ringwald and Patti Smith are probably my top two.

As I previously posted, I have a serious issue with being awkward. Certain situations just make me act like a complete moron. There's a moment in Sixteen Candles that encapsulates this feeling entirely: it's the part where Samantha slides down the wall outside the gym and starts crying. The popular girls come by and she immediately has to act cheery and breezy and fails miserably. Samantha is my favorite of Molly Ringwald's characters and it's the role that made her my idol. I wanted to be Molly Ringwald when I was 12; I've since realized that when was 12 I really wanted to be Samantha but that doesn't make me love Molly Ringwald any less. I've also admired her as she grew up - her story isn't typical of most of the actors from her generation (or however you want to describe them) many of whom struggled with fame. Molly Ringwald always seemed normal. And now she's a real live grown-up in addition to being an actor, a writer, a musician, and a mom. Admirable.

I found out that she would be coming through DC on her book tour for her new novel, When It Happens to You (this is why I love Twitter). I decided to go to the book event; I enjoyed her first book and figured that this would be my only opportunity to meet one of my idols. Somedays I am a genius.

You have to hand it to Molly Ringwald; she handled questions about the Brat Pack, John Hughes's death, and a rambling old lady with grace and poise. She thanked everyone for their questions and was generally nice. You could tell the audience was made up of a lot of people like me and we were all a little giddy and really excited. I heard one woman comment that the evening was "transformative" for her (she's a writer too and asked a question about process that was really good). I felt the same way.

I don't just write this blog because I don't have anything better to do or because the world needs more people writing about random movies and their cat (clearly the world does). I do it because it's a creative outlet for me and I love to write. Just like Molly Ringwald. Her answers to questions about process and transitioning from one career to another and about making art were really inspiring. It wasn't just that the woman who played Samantha, Andie, and Claire was right there; it was that she was agreeing with the conversations I have with myself about this blog and my other writing. One of my favorite quotes from the night, "Good writing finds its way."

And yes, I did get to meet her. My friend Daniella went with me and we had yellow post-its on our books so we got to get in line first (although Daniella talked her way into a yellow post-it which I admire greatly). We were told that Molly wouldn't be posing for photos, just signing books. We could take pictures at the beginning of the talk and while we were in line. Daniella, being the amazing friend and partner in crime she is, took my picture while Molly was signing my book. She told me I looked star-struck. Totally true. I wasn't awkward - I told Molly that I enjoyed her first book and her movies and was looking forward to reading this book too. She said thank you and was very polite. That's all a person can ask for.

A Girl Named Awkward

I was driving to work this week and happened to pop in a mix tape (CD to the kids) entitled "Johnny, Loretta, and Neko Walk into a Bar." That would be Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, and Neko Case. The mix rotated between the three as if they were having a conversation while having a drink at a bar (and yes, it's as awesome as it sounds). The song A Boy Named Sue came on and I realized just how much I love this song. If you've never heard this song (you shouldn't admit that in public), here's the video:

So basically, Sue is a dude who's dad named him that and then left him and his mama. Sue spent his life being tough (because he had to with a name like Sue) and trying to find his dad and seek his revenge. When Sue does find dad and is set to kill him, well, dad explains that he knew he'd have to leave so he named his son Sue to make him tough and help him survive. Yep, it makes perfect sense in a country song.

If Sue's dad named him Sue to make him tough and be able to handle anything life threw at him, would my parents naming me Awkward have made me the most confident human being in the world? Can the logic of this song work in real life? I would really love if it did.

Awkward. Even the word itself sounds weird and well, awkward. I was hoping at some point in my life awkwardness would not be a major problem. I figured I'd grow out of teenage awkward and into a more confident and awesome woman. I feel like I can say this about myself in my work life: Give me a room full of angsty counselors who don't want to be there and don't want to learn anything new and I can keep their attention AND convert a few to rabid fans by the end of training. It's what I do: training is part teaching and part performance and I have become a very gifted teacher/performer over the last several years. In this area, I have the confidence of a much taller person.

However, socially I don't ever feel this kind of confidence. I wrote about my friend quest earlier this year and that's part of this problem. I'm not an instigator when it comes to making friends or dating. I don't walk up to people randomly and introduce myself. I would be terrible at speed dating or friending because small talk makes me sound like a moron. It's awkward and uncomfortable. I ramble, I talk about stupid things, I sound like I'm trying too hard. When I like a guy, all that I can muster is the most awkward conversations possible. It's like my normal smart, funny self steps away from my body and I'm left with my awkward teenage self. And then (because I'm a girl) I obsess over what I should have said and dissect the conversation for more meaning. Vicious, vicious cycle.

And this is why I have to meet Molly Ringwald and Andrew McCarthy. I've loved these two since the first time I saw Pretty in Pink (despite the awful dress) and loved many other films they've been in over the years. They've made the transition from awkward teen actors to grown-up actors to real life authors. They each have a new book coming out this month and are on book tours that just happen to bring them to the DC area.  I have tickets to these events. I enjoyed Molly Ringwald's first book Getting the Pretty Back. It was funny and made me like her as a person not just someone I wanted to be when I was 12. Her new book is a novel and it sounds amazing. Andrew McCarthy is a travel writer - something I would love to do. His new book is about travel and figuring out life and commitment and I can't wait to read it.

What I'm hoping is that by seeing these two people that I've admired the majority of my life, I will somehow figure out how to be a grown-up. They did it, so why can't I?

Video from youtube.com