The 1980s were a magical time of, well, spandex, pop princesses, early rap stars, and the debauchery of the Sunset Strip and everything associated with it. As the opening narration of the Netflix movie The Dirt tells us, everything sucked about the 80s. I'm not sure I 100% believe that, but I get where movie Nikki Sixx is coming from; the 80s weren't great, but they were tolerable. Lots of really fun and fascinating pop culture comes from the 80s, including the wonder that is glam metal, or hair metal if you want to be a jerk about it. Glam metal is my favorite sub-genre of metal. It combines my love of loud/aggressive music with the sparkle and weirdness of glam music.
Glam metal had its beginning in the 1970s when KISS, Alice Cooper, and Cheap Trick (yes, they belong here) added theatrical elements to their performances and used costuming and makeup to create specific personas onstage. In the 80s, every other band was a glam metal band: Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Ratt, Twisted Sister, Van Halen (the David Lee Roth era), and Quiet Riot were some of the big names. Poison, Cinderalla, and Warrant would come later. This was the kind of music metal dudes could rock out to, but girls could dance to, so it was a perfect. I started listening to glam metal because my brother listened to it, and I was heavy into David Bowie/Roxy Music/T-Rex/70s punk bands so the pieces all sort of fit together. By the late 80s/early 90s, I was over boy bands and onto real music. Glam metal was a perfect.
I've seen a lot of these bands in concert, but at much later points in their careers. My second real concert was a Def Leppard concert in 1992 (I've seen them 3 times). I saw KISS, Motley Crue, and Alice Cooper at various times between 2008-2014. These show are among some of my favorite concerts; devoted fans, fun performances, and a commitment to a the glam metal aesthetic.I shouldn't love the movie The Dirt as much as I do, but I can't help it. The 80s, particularly in the world of the Sunset Strip and glam metal bands, was about decadence and breaking rules and being the most rock and roll band you could be. That's why this movie is so perfect. It's based on the joint autobiography/oral history of the band of the same name (I haven't read it, but now I want to), and gives us some glimpses into the personal lives of the band before they became Motley Crue. We get to see Tommy Lee's super suburban family, and Nikki Sixx's crazy mother. We learn the name of Mick Mars's degenerative bone disease. I'm still trying to decide if Vince Neil was a kept man before joining the band; he had a rich girlfriend and it seemed like he might have been. Anyway, the movie moves from their humble beginnings in L.A. to their mega-stardom and inevitable crash. It's like a long-form VH1 Behind the Music, but one that was written by a super hormonal teenage boy who's been snorting coke and drinking Jack Daniels for a week.
This movie is not for everyone. If you don't want to watch Nikki Sixx shoot heroin into his neck or see the car crash that killed Hanoi Rocks drummer, Razzle Dingley, you probably shouldn't watch this movie. If lots of random sex and drug use and drinking bothers you, don't watch this movie. If cursing makes you clutch your pearls, definitely don't watch this movie. If you're cool with this or at least can tolerate it, grab a glass of Jack Daniels and settle in with me for The Dirt.
- "He makes a lot of bad choices." Nikki Sixx describing Tommy Lee during the intro voiceover. If ever there was an understatement, this is it.
- "Mick Mars - he's an alien." Seriously, I love this movie and I'm on 5 minutes in.
- I never knew Tommy Lee came from such a ridiculously normal family. It's kind of crazy. I guess I thought he was raised by wolves in a parking lot or something similar.
- I have realized that because I'm sober, I'm too sober to watch this movie. I will continue on, but seriously, this movie would make a great drinking game.
- Mick Mars will always be my favorite member of the band. Dude has a serious medical condition, but could play. He seems like a guy who could tolerate/participate in a lot of nonsense, but also needed his quiet time away from the party. He's played by probably the most well-known person in this movie, Iwan Rheon, from Game of Thrones. He is amazing in this role and my favorite part of the movie.
- When looking for a singer, the guys were looking for someone who would be a combination of David Lee Roth and David Bowie. They got Vince Neil, and I can see both Roth and Bowie in young Vince Neil.
- There's a lot of breaking of the fourth wall in this movie. Every member of the band does it, as do the band's manager, Doc, and the A&R guy from Elektra Records (played by Pete Davidson).
- "Don't ever leave your girlfriend alone with Motley Crue." Probably the most accurate statement in this entire movie.
- I never realized how much Vince Neil and Rod Stewart had in common until I watched this movie. Neil is like the glam metal version of Stewart's man tart.
- "Come have a talk with your Uncle Oz." The section with Ozzy Osbourne was spectacular. I don't doubt that any of this happened, but it's so bizarre that I have to wonder. When I saw Sabbath a few years ago, Ozzy reminded me of an old grandpa shuffling around in his pjs. This is not that Ozzy.
- Bless the Crue's manager, Doc. "Motley Crue did stupid things because they were Motley Crue."
- Things shift dramatically for the band following the death of Razzle from Hanoi Rocks and Neil's first attempt at sobriety. This is also when Nikki Sixx discovers heroin and Tommy Lee meets Heather Locklear.
- This is when the movie becomes a mix between Behind the Music but with more swearing, and a reality tv show. Tommy Lee's life on the road segment would have made great reality tv back in the day.
- Nikki: "Is there even still a Persia?" Heroin Dealer: "There has to be; that's where the cats come from." This is the exchange before the dealer injects Nikki with the heroin that would kill him. But he didn't die die; he was revived.
- This prompts the entire band to go to rehab. Where is the documentary about this? I mean, we got a documentary when Metallica went through group therapy together. I guess we got The Dirt so it's sort of the same thing.
- After rehab, the band released Dr. Feelgood, their most successful album and one that lead to an epic tour. This epic tour would be the start of the decline of the band.
- And then the movie turns super sad. Vince Neil's first wife leaves, taking their daughter with her. The daughter, Skylar, dies of cancer not too long after, at age four. It's the most emotional part of the movie, and does a lot to humanize Vince Neil. It was hard watching this part of the movie after everything that came before it.
- Nikki figures out his life, and begins apologizing to everyone. Mick gets his hip replaced. The band gets back together. They continued to perform as Motley Crue for 20 years after that. Just a bunch of dudes who like to play glam metal and be around one another. And we all learned a lesson...or something.
I've learned a lot of things from Motley Crue: the names of strip clubs; that I should not go away mad, but just go away; Nikki Sixx will always be the hottest member of the band; we all need to remember that it's our collective jobs to kickstart Vince Neil's heart; that shouting at the Devil is really effective. More than anything, the Crue showed us all that music doesn't always have to be serious. It can be about having a good time and doing wild stuff. Even when you eventually have to be a grown up, you can still rock out. So thank you, Motley Crue. Thank you for this self-indulgent, but also sort of sad movie. I don't know how all of you survived, but you did, and for that, I salute you.
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