You're doing everything wrong

I'm going to confess something - I don't use Pinterest. I know you're shocked and possibly even disappointed. I signed up for account ages ago but can't recall the password and don't know the last time I logged in. Pinterest allows you to "re-pin" images and you can create boards for themes, events, and whatever you want to save. I suppose it's meant to help foster creativity and give people ideas for how to do cool DIY projects. This blog has even been pinned on the site by someone who liked the pictures I took of houses in Alameda. Maybe she's restoring a Victorian home?

But I've never gotten into pinning. From my limited time on the site I realized I didn't fall into the following categories:

• I'm not planning a wedding so I have no use for mason jar art/lighting ideas and have no plans to ever get married in a barn (and neither do you so stop it)
• I'm not having a baby nor do I have children so no need for cute knitting projects or homemade baby food or rainy day craft ideas
• Pumpkin doesn't wear clothes and I'm not going to make her (although she would be cute as a ladybug but then she would kill me in my sleep)
• I'm not renovating a house so no need for weird DIY bookcase projects that involve upcycled wood (which I'm in support of) and some plant based resin I have to make in my kitchen (which probably smells like garbage rotting because that's always what happens with these things)
• I'm not into pickling produce, making my own beer or other alcohol, or curing meat

I even tried to get into the baking boards of Pinterest because I love to bake and I love to find challenging things to bake. I found some cool stuff but to be honest, I knew I would never make any of it so I stopped. It would be fun to try but ultimately I'd rather be on PinterestFail than on the real site.

I don't think my dislike of Pinterest has anything to do with the site itself or why people use the site or enjoy making boards and re-pinning things. Pinterest, like most forms of social media, is designed to make us all feel bad. Think about your Facebook newsfeed for a moment (if you're on FB). Aren't there days when everyone seems to be having a baby, getting married, adopting a puppy, getting a promotion, and going on an exciting vacation? On those days don't you feel like telling everyone to shut the eff up even though you're super excited for all of them (in all sincerity)? Pinterest insecurity is apparently a thing now and we're all feeling it in some way. Social media has the ability to make us all feel like lonely, uncreative, narcissistic, boring people.

Of course that's not true. I mean, it might be true for some people but overall, most of us are not uncreative or boring. Sir Ken Robinson talks about this all the time. We're all creative in different ways and we have to focus on how to best express that creativity. For some people, it's pickling homegrown vegetables and using beet ink to label your mason jars for storage. For others, it's using post-it notes to decorate an office mate's cube for their birthday. Creativity can be taught and we all have the capacity to be creative. It's just different for each one of us.

I would love to say that I feel most creative in my job since then I would be the adult person that I dream of being. But I don't feel most creative at work although I try to be as creative as possible and sometimes I achieve great things or at least things that don't make my colleagues want to gouge their eyes out to end the pain of the meeting or training I'm conducting.

I guess I would say that I feel most creative when writing and baking (but not at the same time - that could be dangerous). I love writing this blog because it gives me an outlet to share ideas and photos and tell stories (which I love to do). I started the blog because I felt disconnected from things when I moved to Alameda. It was hard to adjust and it was a way to connect outside my apartment. While others enjoy the blog, it's mostly for me. That's not to say that I'm not glad people enjoy the Island and find me amusing; I am and I appreciate that people take the time to read it. I imagine this is what therapy is like.

Baking is also very therapeutic for me. It's a lot of work whether you're making something from a mix or from scratch. Don't ever let anyone tell you that making something from a mix isn't baking - it is. I prefer from scratch in terms of process but sometimes I need to get something done quickly and a brownie mix works just fine. I like the order of baking and the process. That's why I prefer baking to cooking - I'm not as good at throwing ingredients together and having something awesome happen. I'd rather spend two days making an Italian Orange cake - that's more my style. I made this cake 5 years ago (ish) for Christmas and my family still talks about it. It was that good and is probably my favorite cake. With baking, not only am I satisfying my need for process (the type A part of my personality), I'm also making others happy (the Erin Counselor part of my personality).

So my new goal is just do those things that make me feel creative and happy and leave the rest behind. I'm trying hard not to compare myself to everyone else. It's not healthy or fun. This is all part of the process of being the leading lady of my own life.

By the way, my next baking project actually came from Buzzfeed (providing all the cat photos and 90s nostalgia you'll ever need). Bourbon marshmallows s'mores are happening sooner than you think. The bacon is optional.

It's a marshmallow world

There are some mysteries of life we're not supposed to ever figure out: why you lose one sock when doing laundry, how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop, or perhaps one of these nuggets that always seem to pop up.

However, the mystery around how to make marshmallows is not one of these things. Learning how to make marshmallows is a magical and amazing process. Making marshmallows can get you out of whatever gloom you happen to be in (more on this later) and people don't actually believe that you can do it. Because who makes marshmallows except Jet Puff?

The answer: I do. I make marshmallows. And I make homemade graham crackers (because Martha Stewart told me to). Pause for a moment to consider this information and enjoy this at the same time:

I'm guessing that Frank and Dean were drinking heavily before this was filmed. I can't be certain but if my Rat Pack knowledge serves me correctly, that was really a staple of every performance. That accounts for the choreography and the fact that Frank is sort of holding Dean up as they come down the piano key steps. However, it's awesome and fun and marshmallow-y so we should all watch it every holiday season just for smiles.

I learned to make marshmallows about 4 years ago (before this whole trend started so I clearly like things before liking them is cool). I found a recipe in a copy of Woman's Day magazine my mom had. It seemed simple enough and my mom gave me her 20+ year old stand mixer so that I could try it out (because my mom is great and had her own shiny Kitchen Aid stand mixer to use). Around the same time, I also got the Martha Stewart Cookies cookbook and decided to try to make homemade graham crackers. This is also the cookbook in which Martha quotes Proust before a recipe for madeleines so you know it's amazing.

Anyway, the whole experiment was a success. My co-workers enjoyed a random homemade treat (microwave s'mores aren't too bad) and I've made this combination over and over again ever since. I've tried peppermint marshmallows (a little toothpaste-y but excellent in hot chocolate), raspberry and strawberry (interesting but not my favorite), and chocolate (no surprise that these are wonderful).

My first batch ever, 2009

But my go-to marshmallow is vanilla - lovely, snowy vanilla marshmallows. Something so simple and easy is always the best. When you start, you don't think that the ingredients (gelatin, sugar, corn syrup or simple marshmallow syrup, vanilla, and water) are going to come together into the fluffy magic that is a marshmallow. But then you put everything in the stand mixer and 15 minutes later - viola! Marshmallow heaven. The first time I made them I watched the mixture change from clear liquid to marshmallow and it was awesome. I had no idea that's how it all worked. And I made a very bold declaration: that making marshmallows could get you out of a Lou Reed gloom if you were in one.

What's a Lou Reed gloom you ask? In several episodes of the Gilmore Girls, Lane and Rory discuss their gloomy moods based on music or musicians. Lane uses "Lou Reed gloomy" to describe her conundrum of actually liking a Korean boy (which her mother would love) and that this one fact ruined him/their relationship for her. Later episodes discuss Johnny Cash gloom.

I love the idea of describing your mood based on musicians. I've taken this a little further than the Girls and divided my gloom scale into five levels:

1. Lou Reed gloom - encapsulated by the song "Perfect Day" in which Lou has a perfect day with a person that clearly just keeps him around for no reason. I also like the way he says "sangria" in this song. There's hurt and love and gloom.
2. Johnny Cash gloom - Have you heard his version of "Hurt"? Even before that there was always a little gloom in his songs - regret, longing, violence, bad behavior.
3. The Smiths/Morrisssey gloom - Do I have to explain this one? Just because you put an 80s pop beat to a song doesn't make it peppy. Loneliness, despair, angst, and a little loathing abound.
4. Hank Williams gloom - "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" just about sums it up. There are plenty of peppy Hank Williams songs too but most of his songs are about loss and being used (story of his life). That yodel was a cry for help, my friends.
5. Radiohead gloom - This particular kind of gloom also involves paranoia. Whenever I listen to Radiohead I immediately think "At least I'm not Thom Yorke."

(As an aside, I really like sad songs so even if I wasn't particularly gloomy I could still listen to a great sad song any day. Like these or early Wilco.)

Last batch, August 2012

I've made marshmallows a lot since that first batch. Usually it's because I'm bored and figure that the my co-workers really need a treat the next day. But on a few occasions, I made marshmallows because I was in one of the above moods and the process and the magic (and the goodness) at the end snapped me out of it. Who knew something so simple could be so powerful?

Tomorrow is marshmallow and graham cracker day at my house. I'm teaching a few friends how to make both. I'm going to make vanilla marshmallows today and tomorrow we'll do another vanilla and maybe chocolate and peppermint (depending on their preferences). I have some chocolate too so s'mores will also be on the menu. If anyone is feeling gloomy, I suspect this process will get them right out of it and into a blissful, marshmallow state.

It could be all the sugar but I like to think it's magic instead.