Guest Post: Surprise Winter

Howdy Island readers! It's been a long time since I've invited a guest to blog on the Island. We've been experiencing what a friend described as "surprise winter" this week here in the DMV, so it's only fitting that my friend Lindsey share her thoughts on how to survive winter when you're not from a cold weather climate originally. Regular Island readers may remember Lindsey from that time I filled in as her fake bridesmaid and we got makeovers. Lindsey and I share a love of baking and nerdy things as well as a dream to create a series of videos on appropriate workplace behaviors that are mostly just me saying "Don't do anything inappropriate" in different voices while looking exasperated.

We've been discussing her idea for this blog for awhile now; Lindsey's wanted to share this information with everyone to better humanity and save some unsuspecting Floridians and other Southerners (I guess that's a bit redundant if you consider Florida a part of the South - I understand some people do not) from making the same mistakes she did moving to a colder climate. Lindsey has learned much in her short time in the DMV, braving a blizzard and surprise winter like a champ. I hope you enjoy this post as much as I do. 

A Floridian in Winter by Lindsey

Hey there, people of the internet! My name is Lindsey, and I have graciously been offered the opportunity to have a guest blog post. Okay, I had some advice the world needed to hear but no platform, and Erin was kind enough to mention that occasionally she has guests post on her blog. Thanks, Erin!

What you need to know about me: I've got two cats, and I love baking, Star Wars, and Victorian literature (no idea why I get along with the resident blogger). Also, about 3 years ago, I moved from Florida to the bitter, bitter cold of Northern Virginia. Now that winter has arrived (in March), I have a need to share what I've learned with my fellow Sunshine Staters. My list is by no means exhaustive, but let it be a lesson to any other northern-inclined Floridians.

1. You will need a new coat. Your Florida winter coat is not going to get you past Fall. Don't buy it in Florida. Parameters: it should cover your butt(!), have a hood, be waterproof, and be big on you. Put that coat back on the rack if it fits snugly. Also, it is possible that you may want to own more than one coat (It seems like overkill, I know, but I got a super warm coat with a hood with fur lining that goes down to my ankles and is basically like wearing a down comforter, and it's awesome, but it's too warm for, say, 40 degrees. Or even 30 degrees. Now that you're out of Florida, guess what—it gets even colder <shudder>.)
2. Scarves. They are apparently for more than decoration. They also catch snot and tears when you're out in the cold and the wind. Gross? Absolutely. But think of how much you're saving on tissues.
3. Cold sucks. Cold with wind is worse. One word: ChapStick <quickly checks Google to see if that really is one word>.
4. Snow is disappointing. It's wet. It only occurs when it's cold outside. It's heavy. It leaves your floors wet and gross and sandy (Sandy? Yeah, sandy, and not from a day at the beach. This area puts down sand to give you traction to drive instead of just salt.). The pristine beauty of fresh snowfall will turn into sandy/muddy brown slush. Also, snow has not yet learned to fall only in grassy areas, so it's a pain in the ass to go anywhere—by car or on foot. Snow Days? Ha! Not if you can work from home.
5. Buy a snow shovel before a snowstorm is forecast. Like in summer. Because there won't be any in stock when a snowstorm is looming. Once the snow has fallen, unless you can get a shovel through same-day delivery from Amazon, good luck digging out to get to a store. (I have found that a large mixing bowl will make a dent. Also, if your neighbors see you scooping snow with a mixing bowl, they will take pity and offer to let you borrow their shovels. Like, multiple offers. Not that I know this from personal experience.)
6. Pedestrian life sucks when the sidewalks are covered in snow. Get snow boots. If you forge a new path, you will be covered in snow (wet and cold) and potentially trip over covered things or fall into holes. If you step in footprints, the snow has been compacted and has melted and refrozen, so those footprints are actually ice. Pedestrian life sucks worse when the sidewalks are covered in ice. You will slip. Snow boots help, but they are not suction cups.
7. You're a better driver in snow than a lot of people. No, really.
8. Don't use your windshield wiper fluid from Florida. It will freeze. You will then realize this is obvious, but it was always above freezing in Florida by morning, so you weren't thinking about it. You're welcome.
9. Get a windshield ice scraper thingy. Your credit card will no longer do the trick. Get one that has a brush on one end so you can brush off the snow from all over your car, too.
10. Have a pair of waterproof gloves. Otherwise your hands will be cold, wet, and numb meat mallets as you try to scrape off snow and ice.
11. Get cats. Then you don't have to try to walk an animal in snow. Also, if you need traction in snow to, let's say, back out of your parking space, apparently you can pour some kitty litter around your tires. I've never tried this. I need that stuff for the cats.
12. Wake up earlier. It takes longer to dress yourself for winter. When you finally get your layers on, now put on that new coat, boots, gloves, hat and scarf. Promptly overheat as you sit in rush hour traffic for more than an hour, toggling the heat on and off and finally settling on heat on with the window down.
13. Ice is slippery.
14. Everyone will tell you to layer. This is confusing to Floridians. Let me explain: you have to go buy those other layers; they're not in your closet yet. Why the hell would you layer anything in Florida? Basically it's sweaters. Invest in sweaters. Put lighter layers (your "sweaters" you wore in Florida for winter) under sweaters. Put a cami under the lighter layer. Put a coat on over all that. This is why you bought a larger coat size, see? Plus side: layers help cushion your fall when you slip on ice.
15. Get lots of lotion. You, from Florida, are an amphibian, and your skin will shrivel and die in the winter. It will suck. Hydrate your skin! Also invest in saline spray for your nose. Your nose will dry out and bleed, and you will thank me later. Oh, and a humidifier is a must to create a tolerable habitat.
16. Northern Virginia is not even considered The North. I don't have any advice for this. Let's just sit and contemplate the fact that my list is for what is generally considered a "mild" winter.
17. There is some good news. Here is where YOU are the expert: Up here, there are two hazardous road conditions that get me every time an advisory is issued: sun glare and road spray. No, that's real. ...Because driving when it's sunny is an event. A dangerous event. As is driving after it "rains." The rain up here is mostly weird and insubstantial phantom rain. Sometimes you can hardly feel it. If it actually rains enough, though, you'll get an advisory about wet roads. ...I just...

So hang in there, displaced Floridaperson. They will tease you about winter, but you can roll your eyes all day long once we hit summer and they start complaining about how humid it is.

DC Days: Rockin' the Suburbs, Part Two (Subtitle: I didn't want to stab anyone*)

Yesterday I posted about my plan to take the magical Silver Line Metro from Clarendon to Tysons Corner. I wanted to experience the good times ahead and the life-changing nature of this new Metro line. That is, after all, what Metro promised. Metro's ad campaign for the new line has implied that the extension of public transportation into this area would somehow liberate people from their boring suburban lives and they would all have more fun, dance down a Metro platform, and meet the person of their dreams (for the single people). You can go to the city! You can live the life you've always wanted to when you opted to sell out for the 'burbs! Metro hates everyone.

It's an incredibly effective campaign (go marketing team!) and one that I'm sure that they'll continue to use as more stations are completed and open. I have been obsessing over this ad campaign since I saw it over the summer. My obsessions stems from this oddly implied idea that the only way we can be fulfilled is by urban living. I grew up in the suburbs and have spent most of my adult life in either urban areas or areas that I would describe as suburban/urban hybrids. I feel like I can live my life the way I want to in any of the areas and so the Metro campaign felt very personal. Like Metro was somehow judging me. I may take things too personally.

Anyway, I asked my friend Anita to join me on an adventure not to the city but to the very place that Metro told us to leave. We traveled to Tysons Corner and we had a blast. We didn't have to drive or find parking so we were relaxed and calm upon arriving at the mall. Later, Anita would observe that we could deal with the massive crowds because we didn't have to deal with the normally annoying commute and parking. I think she has a point.

The Metro ride from Clarendon took about 15 minutes (we had to wait 10 minutes for a train). The only thing that we knew about arriving at Tysons Corner was that we would have to walk through a skyway of sorts to the Plaza. The walk was relatively short (our only complaint is that it's not enclosed - bad on a rainy day like today) and the Plaza looks exactly like you imagine an outdoor plaza area at a high end shopping center would look like.

Except for the birds.

Not real birds but inexplicable metal birds. There were crows, a hawk, pigeons, and cardinals. A friend mentioned them on Facebook when I was discussing this trip but I wasn't really prepared for them. We don't understand the birds. One grouping of a crow and a cardinal and it looked like the crow was going to attack. Anita also thinks it looks like the hawk is looking for a mouse or something similar. They also seem to be staring off into the distance in a way that makes you sad that they're not real. I can't decide if the birds are there to deter other birds or to support the outdoor experience.


 We didn't stay long on the Plaza since it was raining. The rain also impacted our brunch plans; the place we wanted to go was actually across the street from Tysons but not worth the walk so we opted for Panera instead. We also plotted out our day, declaring that Tysons Corner Center would be our oyster. Highlight of the Panera experience: seeing my first ever person using Google Glass. He looked exactly as you imagine a guy a shopping mall would look like with Google Glass. I'm not sure I get that particular technology but to each his own.

The only actual scheduled activity we had today was free facials at Aveda. Since we had to skip brunch we had time to wander around the lower level of the mall. We did a pass through L.L. Bean where we tried on a variety of hats and discussed the pros and cons of buying a camouflage jacket. This confirmed for me that I'm still very conflicted about hats and whether or not I should wear them. 

Our trip through L.L. Bean didn't kill enough time before our facials so we ended up visiting the American Girl store. Neither of us had ever been to one before but we both read the original books when we were younger. This is not our American Girl. Most of what you can buy in the American Girl store are things you didn't know an American Girl doll needed - egg chairs, horses, pets (a corgi, a cat), and all of the clothes you can dream. There's even an option to buy glasses and orthodontia. I guess that's designed to help make the awkward phases of growing up a little easier. Samantha's ice cream parlor costs $300 and the dress so you can match your doll is $58 (the doll version is $36). Crazy. We saw lots of little girls and their parents with very large American Girl bags (and very awkward bell bottom, ruffled pants) all day long. There's even a cafe just in case you need a snack.

Facials were next on the schedule. This particular Aveda is a salon or spa (like I'm used to) so our facials were basically being done in public. The woman who took care of us was lovely (this is her weekend gig; she teaches in Fairfax County). She and I discussed germ-y children and how sick we both got our first year teaching. My face still feels nice and soft and Aveda-y. My goal of leaving smelling like calmness and balance was achieved.

What Anita and I came to realize as we continued to wander around the mall was that we didn't really feel the need to have a plan to enjoy our day. It was exactly like high school; we just went to the mall to hang out, gossip, and eat bad for us mall food. Instead of our parents dropping us off and agreeing on a designated pick up spot later in the evening, Metro brought us. No stressful parking, no crazy drive (we saw the traffic on 66 in both directions on a Saturday). It was the ease of those high school mall hang outs with the awesomeness of having a job and being able to buy things if we were so inclined. It didn't really matter. We also enjoyed free samples (thanks William Sonoma and Teavana). We got things we needed (a journal for NaNoWriMo for me; John Waters's book Carsick for Anita) and things we probably didn't need (maple pecan waffle mix and these boots that I've been stalking on Project Runway).

 
So what did we learn? Are good times really ahead? As we enjoyed dinner at Gordon Biersch (ending our day like my dad or brother would), Anita and I discussed John Waters, Divine, and our suburban upbringing. What we decided was that we miss the suburbs of our childhood and that the contrived nature of places like Tysons Corner and its Plaza with inexplicable birds is why Metro's ad campaign is successful. Everyone wants to be cool and feel like they belong somewhere. Sometimes you look up at the high rises and Metro stations of your urban existence and yearn for the quiet of your suburban childhood. And sometimes you don't want to see another shopping center or fast food restaurant. It's all about balance and realizing that sometimes you just need a girls' day at the mall.

*How Anita described our trip. She felt it was a success because this is how she felt at the end of the day.

DC Days: Rockin' the Suburbs Edition, Part One

Before we begin:

Now that you have thoroughly rocked, we can begin. Today's post comes to you from the magical suburban land of Tysons Corner. For those of you who don't live in the greater Northern Virginia area, Tysons Corner is a vast expanse of shopping, office buildings, chain restaurants, hotels, and sadness. It takes approximately 4 hours to drive there from most locations in NOVA and then an additional 3 hours to find parking once you arrive. By the time you do both of these things you no longer want to shop or go to the movies or each at one of the wonderful restaurants. You just want to go home, curl into a ball, and have someone bring you a drink.

All that changed this past July when Metro (our public transportation system here in the DMV) opened its newest line, the Silver Line. The Silver Line runs from Reston, Virginia, through Arlington, into downtown DC, and ends at Largo Town Center in Maryland. Eventually, the line will extend beyond Reston. I'm sure that will happen sometime before my 80th birthday.

My favorite part of the launch of the Silver Line is not the additional trains that I have available to me on my museum commute or that one day the reality of Metro-ing to Dulles Airport would be realized. I don't really use Metro all that often so these benefits were not really for me. No, my favorite part was that Metro told me that my life would change because of the Silver Line. Good times are ahead for us all.

This is just one of the ads that were up around town, on Metro cars, and in stations. So in addition to not making me want to jab a pencil in my eye when driving to and parking at Tysons Corner, the Silver Line will improve my love life and remind me of the sheer joy of accessible public transportation. I assume a Metro sponsored dating website will be launching sometime soon.

What's interesting (at least to me) is that these ads (and this one - my favorite) is that they imply that living in the suburbs is this horrible thing that can only be remedied by access to the city. Now you can go to brunch! And date! And have adventures! All because of the Silver Line! I grew up in the suburbs (as did most of my friends) and I turned out okay. I live in a weird urban/suburban hybrid city now. I don't feel like I have to go to DC to enjoy myself. But that is what Metro would like me to believe.

Here's the thing: you can do all of these things without the Silver Line. There are other ways to enjoy the city and to get there. So I'm going to do the exact opposite of what Metro would like me to do. Instead of traveling to the city, I'm going to take the Silver Line to Tysons Corner and enjoy all that the suburbs have to offer. I want to have brunch, get a facial, shop, and have some sort of mall snack at the food court. I want to enjoy the promise of a suburban lifestyle. I want to prove that this article is silly and rude. I want to rock the suburbs.

Tomorrow my friend Anita and I will take the Silver Line from Clarendon to Tysons Corner. We will enjoy all that the suburban experience can offer us and we won't have to drive or park a car. It will be magical and life-changing. Just like Metro promised.

Maybe we'll even dance our way from the Metro station to the shopping center.