Lazy Movie Weekend: I know I'm awesome but I also want to be cool

This past week on Buzzfeed (slowly taking over my life since 2012), I stumbled on a post entitled 26 Reasons "Grease 2" Is Better Than "Grease". My brain immediately went into overload because someone else understands! This movie is magical and wonderful and 100% better than it's predecessor. This movie basically has everything:

• An amazing cast: Michelle Pfeiffer, Lorna Luft, Adrian Zmed, Maureen Teefy, Christopher McDonald, Eve Arden, Sid Caesar, Didi Cohn, Tab Hunter, and Connie Stevens
• The Four Tops sing the opening song. And everyone knows the choreography.
• Pencil skirts - lets' do this fashion.
• There are motorcycles. And multiple epic motorcycle chases and a dream sequence that features an all white motorcycle. It also features a semi-creepy love song but it's still a decent dream sequence.
• The song about bowling (that's really not about bowling) which features nuns and bowling teams who wear matching clothes. You know, wholesome fun.
• The luau is so fantastic and colorful. Calling the crappy school pool "the Pool of Enchantment" makes it so much more like Hawaii.
• Rex Manning is in this movie. Yes, Maxwell Caulfield before he was Rex Manning stars as Michael Carrington, the English exchange student (cousin of Sandy) who falls for Michelle's Stephanie Zinone. 
• The song "Girl for All Seasons". I have never been in a talent show but I would like to be and I would like to sing this song. I would also like to be either March or December.
• Awkward biology class lesson on sex that gets edited out when this movie plays on ABC Family.
• One of the songs is about picking up women at a grocery store. Seems legit.

Grease 2 was not a particularly successful movie (shocking I know) but I've always thought it was better than Grease. It's not that the original isn't entertaining but I've always had a problem with the ending. The message is that you have to change yourself in order for a person to fall in love with you. Specifically, Sandy has to become the bad girl in order for Danny to truly love her. One could argue that Danny also tries to change (joining the track team for example) but he never really stops being himself. In the movie version, the outfit is what kills me the most. There was nothing confident or strong about it. I thought she looked cheap and sad. I never wanted to be Sandy and there was nothing about Danny Zuko that seemed remotely interesting. I was a really critical 12 year old.

However, in Grease 2 there are lots of awesome women who didn't change for anyone and I like that about them. As I consider my leading lady quest, I have decided to look to the ladies of Grease 2 for inspiration:

•  Stephanie Zinone: Leader of the Pink Ladies and our heroine. Michelle Pfeiffer is flawless (always) in this movie. This was her first big screen role and she makes this movie. I wanted to be her so badly when I was 12. She's confident, sassy, bad-ass, but still comes off as nice. And then there is the moment that she flips her Pink Lady jacket inside out and tells Michael Carrington exactly what it is she wants in life. That whole scene just screams cool. I know in my heart of hearts I will never be that cool but it doesn't mean I can't try. She's nobody's trophy and yearns to break out of the Pink Ladies. The best part: Michael has to figure out how to fit into her world not the other way around. Just watch "Cool Rider" and tell me you're not blown away (and I will know if you are lying). I also dare you not to sing along. It's impossible. What I love about Stephanie is that she's trying to figure out how to be her own woman in a world that would prefer her to be either a Jackie or a Marilyn. She really does want both the boy next door and hell on wheels - she just doesn't realize it. Stephanie is probably the mother of us all (and those bangs).  Leading lady lessons: Don't be afraid to be different and make your own path. Also, a motorcycle riding mystery man is a must.

•  Paulette Rebchuck: Y'all this is Judy Garland's daughter, Lorna Luft. She was never as famous as her mother or half-sister, but Lorna kills it as Paulette. Paulette could have just been a dumb blonde, throwaway character but she's not. She's comfortable in her own skin and isn't afraid to flaunt it (which makes Johnny so jealous in a funny, sweet way). She and Johnny have a complicated relationship (since he's still not over Stephanie) and he takes Paulette for granted. She doesn't take it for too long and has one of the best lines in the film. Also, she wears gold pants like a boss. Bold move, Paulette, bold move. Leading lady lessons: Bold fashion choices are a must and don't let anyone walk all over you.
• Dolores Rebchuck: Dolores is Paulette's kid sister, a Pink Lady wannabe who explains the way the world works to Michael. It's from Dolores that we learn that you gotta be a biker or biker's old lady to make it the world (and by world I mean Rydell High and the bowling alley). What's great about Dolores is that she doesn't believe that for a second. She knows she's cooler than them all and in the end she ends up with a T-Bird (little Davey) and you know she would have been the next leader of the Pink Ladies if there had been another sequel. However, in Dolores's world, the Ladies would have had the motorcycles. Leading lady lessons: Wisdom knows no age.
• Sharon Cooper: Maureen Teefy was in the original film version of Fame, probably one of my favorite movie musicals of all time. I realized upon re-watching Grease 2 that I am probably Sharon. She's bossy, a little OCD, and prone to dramatics over silly things. She and Louis are my favorite couple of the group and their song is a great mix of awkwardness, creativity (on Louis's part), and patriotism. I also envy her ability to wear hats. Leading lady lessons: Being bossy totally works especially if you can wear a beret. Also, never go into a nuclear fallout shelter with your boyfriend.
• Frenchy and Principal McGee: These ladies are from the original Grease. Frenchy was always my favorite in that movie. She's back at Rydell to get her chemistry courses so she can make her own skincare line. This seems totally legit as a reason to be in the movie. According to IMDB, she wasn't supposed to make it into the final cut of the movie but did. Frenchy wanted to go her own way in the first movie and keeps at it here. She also sort of encourages Michael while also trying to provide a reality check so she's the perfect female friend for a guy. Principal McGee, the wonderful Eve Arden, is the perfect balance of authority figure and in on the shenanigans. She has a soft spot for the T-Birds that I find endearing (the talent show auditions and her comment "These are my boys" is just so funny). But she doesn't take any crap from the T-Birds (who are really one of the lamest motorcycle gangs to ever exist). Fantastic. Leading lady lessons: Education is important. Always be a supportive friend (or principal).

If we take the ladies of Grease 2 as a collective it's really confidence that unites them all in awesomeness. Sure they have their moments of crazy and uncertainty but ultimately just being themselves makes them both awesome and cool. And that's another lesson to learn on the pathway to being a leading lady - confidence is everything.

For all of you who are going back to school this week (or maybe you started already), The Four Tops wish you well.

There's a con for that

This weekend marks the official end of summer. I hope that you spent this summer doing all the things that people do in the summer: sweating, complaining about the heat, getting sunburned, day drinking, making asinine comments about how it's not hot it's just the humidity. Maybe you went on vacation, maybe you stayed home. As long as you had some fun, saw at least one movie featuring an explosion, and took at least one day off work you have won summer. We're not eight anymore so that has to be enough.

I was supposed to be spending this last weekend of summer in Atlanta at DragonCon, one of the hundreds (at least it seems like there are hundreds) sci-fi/comic/pop culture conventions that happen throughout the year. My friend Jessica and I have been planning to go to DragonCon for two summers now and failed miserably both times. We want to practice at smaller cons before we go to the big show - Comic-Con. At the rate we're going now, we'll probably make it to Comic-Con by the time we're in our sixties. Last year was entirely my fault: I moved back to Virginia at the end of July and couldn't do a trip so soon after a cross-country move. This year, I blame work for our missing out on the con. Both of us work for the same company and we've just hit our busy season. We agreed that we'd try again next year. I think we're both also going to try smaller cons in our areas this year too. I intend to go to Awesome Con DC this April.

Like heavy metal, cons are not a thing most people associate with me but I have some very geeky/nerdy tendencies and cons are made for people to revel in all their geekdom. Historically, most cons were tied to comic books, animation, anime, and the worlds of different sci-fi/fantasy franchises. In more recent years, pop culture has taken over at most cons so now many of the larger cons are home to all sorts of fandoms from your typical DC or Marvel Comics fans to Star Wars and Star Trek to video games to horror movies and AMC shows (but not my favorite Hell on Wheels - make this happen Comic-Con). There seems to be a little bit of everything and there seems to be a con for just about everything. I like Marvel Comics (although I'm not a rabid reader by any means), Star Wars, Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright/Nick Frost movies, books like The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galazy and The Hunger Games, and anything that involves Joss Whedon. For me, going to something like Comic-Con or DragonCon will probably be more about the phenomenon itself and less about the fandom which probably means everyone there will hate me.

What I'm getting at is that I need to make my own cons for the things that I'm truly and completely obsessed with. I'm certain that there are others out there that would agree and would attend. So here is my top five list of the cons I wish existed (and if they do, please let me know so I can attend):

1. Pegg/Wright/Frost Con, or the Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy Con: Yes, these gentlemen have found a home amongst the fans at Comic-Con but I would prefer a separate event devoted only to the works of Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, and Nick Frost. We can include the excellent tv show Spaced, the trilogy, and some of their other efforts that are worthy enough (Paul, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, and Simon Pegg's book Nerd Do Well). Maybe it could be held in various pubs named for the pubs in the three films. Also, I'd like to hang out with Paddy Considine (because I love him) so this might be the only way that would happen.
2. It's Rex Manning Day: Empire Records is one of my all time favorite movies and I believe it deserves an event so that we can all come together to ask one of the most important questions of our time (and by "our time" I mean the mid-1990s) "What's with today today?" This particular con would take place on April 8 (the date on the poster for Rex Manning Day in the film) and would take place in Delaware since that's where the film was made. The day would end with us dancing on the roof of the abandoned record store where we'll meet to the song "This Is the Day" by The The. Magic.
3. C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R: This has absolutely nothing to do with transportation of any form but of course my obsession with Grease 2. Since Maxwell Caufield is also in this movie, in theory, we could combine this con with It's Rex Manning Day (it would save on the convention center space). I envision booths for buying the epic reversible Pink Lady jacket that Stephanie wears and food stands that never run out of ketchup. Panel discussions would include topics as Adrian Zmed's hair; Who's That Guy?: Deconstruction of the Mystery Man in Film and TV; Do It For Our Country: A Discussion of Sex, Teenagers, and Patriotism.
4. All I Needed to Know About Love I Learned from John Hughes: Do I really need to explain this one? When I went to Molly Ringwald's book talk last year, half the people in attendance (mostly women my age or just slightly older) were there because Molly Ringwald's characters in the big three Hughes films were incredibly influential in their lives (I heard this over and over again as I waited in line to get my book signed) so wouldn't it be awesome to come together and celebrate the man and the movies that got it so right? We could expand to the other Hughes films too (since there are many between his writing and directing credits).  Maybe one of the events could be a "Make a Better Dress for Andie" contest because seriously, that dress is the worst.
5. Our Little Corner of the World - A Gathering of Gilmore Girls: For real, why doesn't this exist? Think of all the themed events we could have - Firelight Festival, the Festival of Living Art, the holiday themed festivals - there are so many. There could be a town troubadour contest. I'd love to see a panel on the great Rory boyfriend debate as well as one on of the importance of the character of Jason Stiles in season four. Lane's band could perform. There could be a mother/daughter fashion show. We could buy stuff that Lorelai and Rory have in their home. I have so many feelings about this con that I don't even know where to start. The show may have  ended but the magic doesn't have to.

Maybe I've missed my calling in life. Maybe I'm not supposed to be a trainer but a niche fandom convention planner. This idea and "job" appeals to my love of lists and my obsessive attachment to fictional characters. I mean, if dude fans of My Little Pony get their own cons (and I have strong feelings about Bronies but there's a time to discuss that and today is not that time), why can't I get one for Gilmore Girls or John Hughes movies?

What do I have to do to make this happen?

What we do is secret

I have never been a book club fan. I've been in a few over the years and the only one I actually enjoy is the one at work. I guess it comes down to the fact that I like to read alone and enjoy thinking about books but don't always enjoy talking about books with other people. Frankly, if I want to drink and talk about stuff I'll just go to happy hour with friends. Let's not pretend that we're going to read a book and have some deep conversation about it over a possibly terrible wine and some brie. Cheese is probably the only incentive I've ever had to go to book club meetings.

Music, on the other hand, is something I love to talk about. The challenge is that I have less luck finding people who want to talk about music with me. They either "don't listen to music" (I don't even know what that's about) or we listen to such diametrically opposed music that it's not fun or more specifically, they're not fun to talk to since the conversation usually ends in some weird argument about me not liking Billy Joel. Variety may be the spice of life but sometimes I just want to talk to another fan of The Smiths and wallow a bit. I love what I love and hate what I hate and I don't want to apologize for it. I've written about this before - you hope that the person will get what you're saying and share in the moment but most of the time you have no idea what they think. When you make someone a mix tape or give them your favorite album to listen to, they may never give you anything in return. No feedback, no music to play forward, nothing. It has the potential to be a monumental let down.

So even with all the potential anxiety and rage induced/beer fueled arguments, I absolutely jumped at the idea of being in an album club. People who want to talk about music! And share music! And will judge me in the context of the album and after a few beers - let's do this! As I am also trying to be more social, this seemed to fit perfectly into things. Album club consists of me and two of friends I met through work, Jason and Upendra. I give Jason credit for the idea - we were already sort of doing this; the three of us would occasionally go out for a beer after work and spend the majority of the evening talking about music. Jason suggested we form a club and add a little structure to our conversations. Of course, it's also a "secret" and exclusive club. We're not currently accepting new members - something that we discuss every time we meet but still have not come to any form of consensus. So don't ask to join. I think if we do ever decide to allow new members, the application process is going to be ridiculous. You've been warned.

Here's what happens at album club: once a month we meet at a bar or one of our homes (although that has only happened once); we talk about work for 15 minutes or so (although it does come up throughout the evening); we discuss our albums. Each of us presents an album along the theme for the month. Usually we discuss how we got into the band or found the album, songs we like or dislike, and everyone gets to put in their opinion. So far, we've listened to nine albums together (each of us selecting three). Eventually we move away from our agreed upon albums and talk about other things, mostly music related. Several pitchers of beer later, we settle on the next month's theme and call it a night.

This week we each presented a summer mix tape (or playlist for the children out there who don't know what a tape is). I discussed my mix last week - I probably spent way too much time thinking about the balance of songs. I ultimately selected summer road trip songs that I love and have to admit that I rather like this mix. Will they like it? Probably not all of it but that's sort of the point. We pick up some new songs or maybe refine our dislike of others. We learn a little more about the person who put the mix together. For the first time in our club history, we didn't listen to the music in advance. I have listened to both and can honestly say that had neither CD been labeled I still would have known who made which one.

What I really love about our little club is the variety of music we like and talk about. We have some similar tastes but I don't think that any of us could easily be classified as a "insert music genre" fan. I asked them both whether they picked songs for the mixes based on their audience or just their own preference. That's a big question when it comes to mixes (one that will probably never be answered). Regardless of the answer, I have a feeling we all picked songs that we thought the others would like on some level. Of the forty songs between their two mixes, I only have eight of the songs in my own collection. That's a pretty great number of new songs to listen to. Some of the remaining songs I know and like; others I had never heard before. I've already picked five new songs that will make it into my normal rotation.

The leftover selections

Next time we meet we'll do two things: discuss our mix tapes (since this was the first time we didn't listen to the music before we met) and we'll share our next selections. Based on Upendra's suggestion, we each selected three prolific artists and placed the names in a hat. We each picked one and now we have to select an album from that artist. I got the Rolling Stones (Jason's pick); Upendra got Madonna (my pick); and Jason got Billy Joel (Upendra's pick). Thankfully I didn't get Billy Joel but I'll be a sport and listen to whatever Jason picks.

Here's what I've learned so far from album club:

• All rock songs are love songs.
• For a person who says he doesn't listen to upbeat music, Upendra picked some rather upbeat song for this mix. Granted one is an Elton John song about killing oneself but there's a tap dance quality to that song that is undeniably catchy.
• I find the lyrics to "Blurred Lines" a tad bit "rapey" and the video offensive; they (somewhat sarcastically) mentioned that Thicke was a defender of feminism.
• Sometimes you find your way back to a song or album even if you thought it was lost (given a situation or person that may have "ruined" it for you).
• It's possible that Jason was supposed to have been born in Detroit and just doesn't know it.
• When you say something is "secret" and "exclusive" everyone wants to join.
• Hanging out with guys is more fun than I remember it being. Maybe it's the subject matter. Maybe it's the beer.
• I am not entirely sure what would have happened if I had gotten 311 as my selection for the next album. Considering I used to date a guy that was in a 311 cover band, I'm going to guess it would have been excruciating. I know my limits when it comes to music.
• I know that I'm totally okay sharing my music with these two friends; they're as sentimental about songs and musicians as I am (if not more so on occasion), have less of a filter than I do (which is both a blessing and a curse), and are music snobs in their own way (just not insufferable).

Any opinions on which Rolling Stones album I should pick?

I like heavy metal and sea shanties*

Yes, those are three of the four solo KISS albums. I'm missing Ace Frehley's contribution which also happens to be the only one of the four that won't make your ears bleed. Best song on his album - "New York Groove". Interestingly, it sounds exactly like the many of the disco classics that KISS fans railed against in the seventies. That's probably partially why I like this song as much as I do.

Anyway, people are always a little surprised to find out that I like bands like KISS, Metallica, Black Sabbath, and Guns N' Roses. I know all the words to more Motley Crue songs than most normal people probably will admit to and I can honestly say I prefer Whitesnake over White Lion. I like the sound of Tom Keifer's voice and "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)" is my favorite Cinderella song. I thought the casting of Sebastian Bach on Gilmore Girls was inspired (and I'm assuming he wore his own leather pants since he paid so much for them when Skid Row hit it big). My metal love leans more towards glam metal bands than speed metal bands (with the notable exception of Metallica). I occasionally make Stryper jokes (that no one finds funny). I've seen Def Leppard in concert twice, Metallica once, and recently saw Black Sabbath for the first time. Ozzy is a strange, little man shuffling around on stage but man, he can wail. And Tony Iommi is a boss.

But I'm not a true metal fan; I'd consider myself a casual fan. I do alright when around other metal fans but eventually they'll figure out I that my favorite Crue song is "Without You" and I'll be laughed out of the room. I will never be like the little girl at the Sabbath show who owned it and has probably listened to Sabbath since she was in the womb. I'm sure she knew more of the songs than I did. I recently re-read Chuck Klosterman's heavy metal opus Fargo Rock City. This was the first Klosterman book I read when I started reading his stuff (it's my second favorite; Killing Yourself to Live is my favorite). In the book, Klosterman recounts how he "discovered" Motely Crue and became a metalhead in rural North Dakota. Like me, Chuck found metal because of his older brother. I can't help but enjoy these songs and appreciate bands that can out-glam David Bowie. I often wonder how much hairspray Poison used in the 80s.

I always think about this when I start to make a mix tape. How much metal (glam or othewise) is too much metal? If I listened to my brother the answer would probably be there is no such thing as enough metal and he'd also tell me I picked the wrong Van Halen song (this was an actual conversation we had over email recently). If I asked either of the members of the album club I belong to, they'd probably say none because neither seems to want to listen to any metal. I mentioned Metallica at one of our meetings and they both visibly shuddered.

There are metal songs and bands for mass consumption and then there are metal songs and bands that are only for the true fans. Def Leppard, although one of the more successful bands of the genre, is often dismissed by true metal fans because they're songs are "too commercial" (which really just means sorority girls know the words and dance to the songs at bars). Bon Jovi, Cinderella, Skid Row, and Whitesnake probably all fit into the same world as Def Leppard. Most of my friends would probably admit to knowing and/or liking a song by one of these bands and might even sing one at karaoke. Even Guns N' Roses could go on this list because most people like "Paradise City" and/or "Patience" (my 2nd and 3rd favorite GNR songs). I am not a true metal fan because I like to many of the commercially successful bands and their radio friendly songs. The crowd at the Sabbath show probably wouldn't have appreciated me bringing up the fact that Twisted Sister was in the first Pee-Wee Herman movie ("Burn in Hell" was playing and it was in the movie towards the end when Pee-Wee is on the film set stealing his bike back). Those are the ways that I enjoy metal bands and for that I will never truly be a member of the KISS army or whatever. My 5th favorite KISS song is "God Gave Rock&Roll To You" from the second Bill and Ted movie so clearly I'm just a girl who likes power guitars and long drum solos.

And this brings me back to the mix tape I'm currently working on for album club. The theme is summer music and I've selected a sub-theme of road trip. I've come up with exactly what I'd want to listen to if I was driving somewhere fun this summer so I guess that the mix works. But I still wonder if it's balanced enough: What is the proper balance of metal to punk to country to pop to The Smiths? So far, the mix includes three metal bands (Metallica, Van Halen, and Guns N' Roses), two punk bands (Rancid and The Stooges), one Smiths song, 70s era Heart, Liz Phair circa 2003, and Dolly Parton. There's also my favorite Bowie song to end the mix and nuggets by Neil Diamond, The Mighty Lemon Drops, and The Replacements. It's a weird road trip but those are the kinds I like best.

*This is a quote from one of my favorite characters, L.P., on the show Treme. I spent all of season three believing that L.P. was going to be killed and was so happy when he wasn't. This was what he told a girl in line at the airport as he left New Orleans.

Lazy Movie Weekend: Skippy Peanut Butter is still terrible

Summer is winding down. Schools are starting back next week for a lot of people and in my work life that means it's about to get busy and crazy and possibly a little nasty. I don't think it'll be like entering the Thunderdome or anything. What I've learned is you can never predict how the first few weeks of school will go so just bring a sense of humor and be up for happy hour whenever necessary. Thankfully, we technically have a few weeks of summer left and I'm going to spend my time watching summer movies.

I've only seen two movies in the movie theatre this summer: Much Ado About Nothing and Stories We Tell. I know, Shakespeare and documentary. Nothing exploded, there were no aliens, and The Rock and/or Vin Diesel did not make an appearance. I am planning on going to see At World's End later this month because nothing could go wrong with Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, robots, and a pub crawl. I wanted to care more about movies this summer and see all of them but that never happened. I thought Joss Whedon would save summer movies for me but all Much Ado made me realize is that I'm probably more of a fall or winter movie kind of girl.

I spent many an evening this summer watching movies like One Crazy Summer, Northshore, Shag, Troop Beverly Hills, and Wet, Hot American Summer. Basically, I made up my own summer movie calendar. It was a lot like when the library used to show kids' movies in the summer and I couldn't miss Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or Charlotte's Web. Maybe next summer I'll do the same thing and invite people over like my own version of the outdoor movie fests around DC. I never go to these mostly because I don't think sitting outdoors and sweating profusely while watching The Breakfast Club sounds fun. Maybe I'm wrong.

Anyway, last weekend was a lazy one as I had just come back from a week of travel and a Black Sabbath concert. My main objectives for the weekend were to do laundry, sleep in, and lay on my couch. I stumbled upon a favorite summer movie of mine, Back to the Beach, starring Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon. If you haven't seen this movie I encourage you to make sure it happens before the end of the summer. You'll immediately want to learn to surf and coordinate your outfits. Frankie and Annette were famous for the formulaic beach movies of the sixties like Beach Blanket Bingo, Bikini Beach, Beach Party, and Muscle Beach Party. There was always a lot of surfing, random dance numbers, a tragic surf accident, and bonfires. And of course, love stories. Do you ever wonder what happened to characters after the movie ends? Well, Back to the Beach is exactly that. It answers the question - what happened after the beach party?

The answer, which I find both fascinating and horrifying, is that Frankie and Annette have become unhappy suburbanites living in Ohio as far away from the beach as possible.  The Surf King now sells cars using surfing (in front of a backdrop) and is generally a miserable person (who wears very shiny suits and has helmet hair). Annette shops, stocks the pantry full of Skippy peanut butter (since the real Annette did Skippy commercials), and has raised two children, one of whom has decided to be a punk because he hates everything his cheery mom stands for. She also has perfect hair and coordinated outfits. So how do they bring the fun back into their lives? With a trip to Hawaii! On the way, they make a stop in L.A. to see their daughter, Sandi (it's Aunt Becky from "Full House"!). Sandi has been living on a pier with her surfer boyfriend Michael and hasn't told her parents. Annette thinks living on a pier is "adorable", Frankie doesn't want to miss their flight and is generally awful to everyone. Of course they do miss their flight when they end up visiting a surf bar and the bad girl of their past, played by Connie Stevens (of course), makes Frankie sing. With Dick Dale. And this all leads to excessive shopping, surfing, dancing on the beach, and love advice from Frankie and Annette.

I haven't seen this movie since sometime in high school and it is every bit of ridiculous that I remember. Here are some important things I learned on this viewing:

• Frankie is never referred to as Frankie during the movie. He's called "your father", "Dad", "my husband", and "the Big Kahuna" but never Frankie. This was because the studio who released his earlier beach films owned the rights to the character "Frankie" and wouldn't allow this studio to use the name even though it's Frankie Avalon's name. Even in the credits he's listed as Annette's husband.
• Everything can be solved by eating a Skippy peanut butter sandwich, shopping, or wearing coordinated outfits with your mom and friends at a slumber party. 
• There are surf gangs. I still haven't quite figured out if they surf while wearing all their punk rock costuming but I assume they do. It would probably scare away sharks.
• If you were on a tv show in the sixties, you got to have a cameo in this movie: Gilligan, the Skipper, Wally and Beaver, June Cleaver, and Agent Smart all made appearances.
• Pee-Wee Herman taught us all that the "Bird is the Word" in one of many fantastic choreographed numbers. He even exits on a surfboard that looks like his bike. Stevie Ray Vaughn and Dick Dale also make appearances in the surf bar. This seems insane to me.
• I still have a crush on Michael, Sandi's surfer boyfriend. I figured the years would have changed this but I was wrong. 
• Love advice from Frankie and Annette is both crazy and crazily effective. She sings and dances on the beach to show him she's having fun without him and he throws a huge beach party for her and burns things. That's love my friends.
• Connie Stevens is perfection and gets all the good lines. When asked if she's fun, she replies "Honey, I'm an amusement park." Or later to Annette, "I never get the guy; I'm the bad girl. Remember?"
• I believe the storm that caused Frankie's surf accident is actually the same kind of storm that caused sharknadoes. I don't have any proof of this but the special effects in both movies seem about the same so I'm guessing it was the same storm.
• And of course, surfing duels are a totally legit way to solve your problems, love conquers all, and the only way to end anything is with a musical number. So this movie is exactly like real life.

But most importantly I learned that we can all be exceptional dancers even in public. We just have to know the right moves.

Coming soon on the Island: I reveal my DC Days plans and a return to mix tapes, music, and I'll finally discuss my membership in a super secret club.

The unexpected creepiness of Cousin Balki

Summer is winding down and with it summer reading lists. I'm sure in the next few weeks, students across the country will scramble to finish their reading lists or at least read the Sparknotes version (or whatever lame way kids are not reading these days). This was never me when I was in school. I usually had my reading list done by the end of the first month of vacation and the librarian would give me more books to read. I'm a school nerd and proud of it.

This is how I came to read my first Stephen King novel. I was done with my summer reading and was looking for something else since I'm an inside kid. My brother had been reading Stephen King for awhile and I'm pretty sure that I took the book from his room (probably without his permission). My first Stephen King novel was Christine. I read it in a few days and was totally hooked. I moved from Christine to Carrie to IT and never looked back. That summer, I also "discovered" the collection Different Seasons that featured the story "The Body". I had seen Stand By Me several times already (I was going through a Corey and Kiefer phase at the time too) and didn't realize it was a short story first. My favorite King novel is The Stand. I read it for the first time my freshmen year in high school. I've probably read it at least a dozen times since. This is no small feat given that it's an enormous story and one of his longest novels. The miniseries is my favorite miniseries and I'll watch it anytime it's on. I  read his newest novel, Joyland, back in June and enjoyed it. Definitely a good summer read.

I was thinking about Stephen King this week while traveling for work. Specifically, I was thinking about a short story called "The Langoliers". This story appears in the collection Four Past Midnight and was made into an incredibly cheesy tv movie starring a who's who of 90's tv stars: Dean Stockwell from Quantum Leap, Patricia Wettig from Thirtysomething, and my favorite, Bronson Pinchot from Perfect Strangers. Yes, Cousin Balki was in a Stephen King movie. Cousin Balki goes a little crazy and is not very Balki-like. I remember finding him super creepy when I first saw it and wondered if he was trying to shed the Cousin Balki image by playing a super creepo.


Anyway, the story is about a red-eye flight from LA to Boston that goes awry. One of the passengers, a young blind girl (who is also psychic) wakes up to find all but herself and nine other passengers on the plane. Everyone, including the pilots, are gone. The plane is on autopilot. There just happens to be a pilot on the plane (played in the movie by David Morse, a favorite actor of mine) and e lands them in Bangor, Maine and things get creepier and creepier from there. If you're a fan of Stephen King novels you know that nothing good ever happens in Maine. The airport is deserted, people start hearing strange noises, and one of the group, Mr. Toomey, goes bananas. The group figures out that they journeyed through some type of "time rip" and that caused everyone to disappear and eventually will mean they will disappear too. Schemes are hatched, Langoliers approach (because of crazy Mr. Toomey), and heroes are sacrificed. You should really just read the story or watch the movie to get the full plot. There's a lot going on here and summarizing it is tough.

I've been traveling for work since 2004 (on and off) so I've spent a lot of time in airports. If I were to calculate the total time I've spent in airports since 2004, I would be a sad person. I'm sure it would equate to thousands of hours spent doing very little. Airports are the perfect place to waste time because you can't really go anywhere once you're beyond security. Setting any kind of fantasy or horror story at an airport makes absolute sense to me. On my trip this week, I had to go to Lake Elsinore, CA. Lake Elsinore is between LA and San Diego and both of those airports are farther away than I wanted to drive. So I booked my flight into Ontario International Airport (in California not Canada). It's a pretty small airport and was totally as it should be when I got in on Sunday. There were people around and the TGIFriday's was open. It's like Oakland Airport's less gritty twin.

On Tuesday, my training ended at 3:30 so I was in good shape to get to the airport on time to return the car and have a quick dinner (since I was getting into Phoenix after 9 pm). It takes about 40 minutes to get to Ontario. There was no traffic so I made good time and made it to the airport a little before 5. This is when things started to get weird. There was no one, not even airline staff, anywhere in the ticketing area. There were no other passengers that I could see. The only noise was the whir of the machines at the security line. When I made it upstairs to security there were two other passengers and six TSA agents. I don't even think it took 5 minutes to go through security (unheard of I know). Once I got through security, the gates were empty too. My first thought was that maybe things opened up after 5 for evening flights or that I had hit a lull in arrivals. I just couldn't figure out why there was no noise. It was eerie and unsettling. The Coffee Bean was closed - devastating. Even when I've been the first person in for an early flight or on the last flight of the night to arrive, there's always noise at the airport. There was nothing.

So naturally, being me, I immediately thought of "The Langoliers" (both the story and the movie). The airport reminded me of the scenes after the group lands in Maine and there was no one and no noise or anything. It was just eerie. I didn't even see where the other two passengers went after we got through security. And it seemed like the TSA agents had been trained to be super quiet because they weren't even making noise. I also happened to be taking a red-eye from Phoenix to Charlotte that evening so clearly I was living the plot of this story. Ontario was already in the time rip and I would follow suit once I got to Phoenix. In the next two hours, I would also have to find a blind psychic, Cousin Balki (because someone needs to go crazy and it's not me), the brainy guy from Quantum Leap, and David Morse. David Morse would also be able to fly a plane and that's how we'd get to Phoenix for the rest of the plot to play out correctly.

Because this is how life works.

What really went down is this: everything in this airport closes at 4 pm except Round Table Pizza, the bar, and the gift shop (it closes at 6 pm). An entire airport closes down its services at 4 pm. I totally support airports not opening everything at 5:30 am or super late into the night because there aren't that many people but 4 pm? That just seems weird especially given that by 5:45ish people finally started to arrive and the airport went back to feeling like an actual airport. So instead of finding my group of survivors or dealing with creepo Cousin Balki, I read my book (The Hangman's Daughter), had some expensive pizza, and continued on my way to Phoenix and Charlotte and then home to DC.

And this is why Stephen King is a genius. I haven't read this story or seen the movie in years but I immediately conjured up images and plot points from this story. In many of his stories, it's the mundane or the ordinary person or object that causes the most terror for the characters and the readers. Most of his villains are not the monsters of fantasy (although he's got some good ones - Pennywise is terrifying) but ourselves. Or at least the way our mind processes what's happening around us or gives into the events of the story. Many of my favorites, The Stand, Carrie, Christine, Misery, play into that psychological scare which to me is better than a gory, monster filled horror story. The reality of these stories is what is truly terrifying.

And this is my brain on jet lag. Welcome to my world.

Because I can't help myself - more Stephen King fun!

Bronson Pinchot photo
Other photos by me.